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Now, Berdly is not one to be underestimated. Certainly not in the comforting world of the internet, for in such an environment he will attest to being about 80% more likely to succeed when measuring with the arithmetic mean, or as you, the simpleton might say: on average. Of course, it’s not like he wouldn’t succeed in the real world! He simply knows his strong points, and he is no cheater. It’s not Berdly’s fault his bones are hollow, all the better for him to soar. And soar he does, for he’s won on Bedwars seven whole times in a row one night.
And he would have won again too, if it wasn’t for his saboteur! Berdly could admire a certain amount of skill in another player, he was a good sport to an extent. Fellow gamers will always have a place in his heart. But this… he was sure they were cheating! His reports were going nowhere, and he had lost twice in a row to this angel of death. If only hypixel would get better moderators. Like Berdly, for example.
It was nearing one in the morning, and if Berdly wanted optimal performance in school tomorrow he would need to sleep. But how could he sleep? When his nemesis was awake and tormenting him? No, gaming came first. The notification that his bed was destroyed was on his screen like a 93% score on a test. A notice of eviction. So Berdly did what he always did when met with a wall, he pushed himself. God strike him down if he’ll let himself be second best now.
“gg,” sent in the chat by the bane of his existence. Oh yes, he’s sure it will be a good game. Berdly corrects them, effortlessly. They couldn’t even manage the time of day to type a few extra letters… the audacity. He’d show them.
“Yes, good game to everyone,” sent by smartgenius55539555445.
You see, the average mind might not be able to decipher his subtle manipulation. But the “yes,” that was to assert his dominance over the conversation. He’s paying attention, he’s agreeing as an act of chivalry, but not for the sake of what has been said, or he would not have more to say. Because his comment is hinging off a mediocre one, he will appear more formidable in comparison. It’s simple intimidation, really.
Now, the second half: “to everyone.” This is to knock his adversary down a peg. He isn’t concerned with them, they’re not even on his mind! He’s the best at losing, across the board! So very good he considers himself losing to everyone. They will not get the honor that is beating him, no! It took five hundred men to take Berdly’s bed, and he still commends them with a “good game.” Berdly laughs to himself like the mad genius he is, quietly, so as not to disturb his mother in her rest. It was a very superior, quiet laugh.
The following match he was paired with his foe. Well, Berdly doesn’t mind putting aside their differences. Perhaps his living nightmare has come around, perhaps they’ve been his dream all along. His savior! No, no. This is his chance to show them what a good teammate, what a superior teammate he could be. They can sit pretty while he brings home the spoils of war, and the feud will be resolved. It’s the natural course of events, things would have to end eventually. No bird would choose to be imprisoned by the bars of hatred.
His comrade was already bridging… a bit proactive, but he’s sure they’re just making things easier for him. After all, someone needs to stay back to protect the bed, and Berdly is clearly more skilled on the field. He was just biding his time. He needed more gold from the spawner, he was simply getting armor. They knew that, someone as smart as them.
And while Berdly’s team did win the match, Berdly hadn’t gotten to do any fighting at all! He was great at PVP! He practiced! The audacity! No, he’d never make peace with his saboteur! He was a fool to even think he could be friends with such a lunatic. They would never be on his side and he would never be on theirs. With such a commencement to keeping his foe a foe in mind, the average, silly head, might think Berdly’s friend request to be counter-intuitive. That is where you’re wrong, he’d say. The solution must be playing the long game. He’d worm his way into their strategies, learn their tricks from the inside out! And he’d win while he’s at it! A power couple three steps away from utter betrayal! An omen of death! He’d never be number two, as you know. And sometimes that involves usurping the number one.
...He would not be left to watch over the bed like a neglected spouse financially reliant on their employed partner.
The following school day passed as a hazy fog. Less than optimal, underutilized. Berdly was sleepy. Which was nothing unusual is Miss Alphy’s class, Kris was never awake for more than a few minutes. Hah, Berdly doubts they’re using their staying up late for important things like Berdly is.
Though however important it is, it must not get in the way of his studies. He could hardly manage taking notes today. His losses were affecting his reality, and things had gotten out of hand. The rotten, genius bastard who was destroying him needs to be dealt with soon. He waited in patient, planning anticipation until he got home.
His unaware and soon to be stabbed Caesar was late today, but no matter. He accepted the party request in stride, holding back a victorious laugh. His Caracalla would soon know the troubles of falling to the level of a pawn. For he, no different than a Martialis, and no more virtuous than a Praetorian Guard, would surely deliver his justice unto little Julius.
...And he was left at the bed again! Who do they think they are, rushing forward with no courtesy? Leaving him behind to do little more than fortify?
Well, Berdly doubts his conniving, malicious teammate has any real idea how to properly fortify anyway! They might just do wool and a water bucket and call it a day. It’s a good thing Berdly is here to keep everything in order. He knew to add wood before the wool.
A few games won, light work. He privately messaged his polite goodbye. Perhaps his courtesies will be a positive influence on this tyrant of a player.
“I have personal nighttime matters to attend to, do not fret in my absence.” Cool, collected… Mysterious…
“bedtime for bird boy?”
“Itis not I do not have a bedieher.”
“*Bedtime,” sent by smartgenius55539555445.
“bedieher hardly know her.”
The absolute cruelty. The lack of decorum. He was little more than burned at the stake, a mere candle for the Nero he had “befriended,” only kept to light a party in spite of him.
“night night.”
...It was a very convincing manipulation, he could concede. He’d humor this only with customary well-wishing in return, sending his party fiddler another message wishing them a good night.
The morning day at school was just the same as the one before, only Berdly had regained his upper hand. He was well rested and had no threat of slipping once! It seems no one else had improved- Kris was asleep again today. He would gloat at them, but he was above that right now, and gloating doesn’t have much of an effect on sleeping people, Berdly has found.
Class comes to a close easier than usual, but it’s to be expected from a mind such as Berdly’s that he’d breeze through it. He carefully observes the remaining students. Catty and Jockington were packing up together, Susie having cleared out the moment the bell rung. Perhaps she didn’t feel like picking a fight with Kris today. Kris- they were staring at Berdly back, from under their bangs. They hadn’t picked their head up from their desk, merely turning to the side rather than face down.
By the time Berdly figures out what to do with himself, it was just him and Kris in the classroom.
“Well, Kris? Something you intend to say, or am I just captivating to you?”
“...come to think of it,” they mumbled, “gimme your number?”
Berdly froze. That line had never worked before. He was right. He didn’t mean it but it made him right now. In their eyes! His eyes never mattered anyway.
“Of- of course you want my number… Hah, who can blame you… I wouldn’t normally agree, but you asked nicely enough.”
Although, he couldn’t help but notice that they didn’t even put it in their phone, only looking at his contact information displayed and nodding like they knew something he didn’t. They pushed it back to him wordlessly.
“Silly Kris, you didn’t put it in your phone,” he chides, a little worried now that this was all some cruel joke.
“’s okay, I’ll remember it.” they got up, leaving the classroom and Berdly frozen in place. For the first time in years, he was the latest to his next class.
By the end of the school day, out in the hall, Noelle was staying back to stare at Susie again while she pretended to try and talk to Kris. Berdly knew she was pretending, because Kris wasn’t saying a single thing back. Poor Noelle, unknowing her affections could never be returned- Kris’s affections were as good as Berdly’s now that they’re head over heels for him. It was only a matter of time.
He simply waits outside until Noelle gets it all out of her system and decides to join him.
“Berdly? I, um-… Jeez, I’m not even sure how to word this.”
“That’s quite alright, words want to kiss me. I am sure to understand, I assure you,” He comforted her as they walked, ever gracious.
“Alright, in simple terms then- your uh… somebody says they can’t make it today, and that you’d know what that means.”
“Somebody? Pray tell, who gave you that message? I had no plans.”
“They uh- I’m not supposed to tell you who in our class… Sorry.”
“Hm… that’s alright, dear Noelle. I know you’re sacrificing a lot even bringing me this intel… I can deduce on my own…”
It all slots into place when he gets back to his sanctuary/field of his hunt, his minecraft hypixel, and there is no tyrant here to greet him. It seems they had pulled a Legio IX Hispana on him. So if that was the only thing canceled on him today… Not a formal plan, but their appearance had been expected.
His ninth legion went to his school. They knew Noelle- they knew Noelle… and more so, they knew Berdly was their new “friend!” He had been found out!… But how? He was always so careful and discreet. The only thing that could have possibly put him in hot water was the entirety of his phone number in his gamertag… But that was just a convenient way of remembering his phone number! There was no way someone else could have noticed that numbers arranged exactly like a phone number might be a phone number… And so, it must mean whoever knows it’s him has his number…
And they haven’t even spoken to him! Was this a double double crossing? Well, it’s a little flattering to find that his compatriot was equally vying for his destruction just as much he was theirs.
Were they really? They could just be shy- Berdly didn’t blame them, his good looks and intellect were quite intimidating at times. Yes, that must be it.
Someone shy, who knows him, who has his number, who knows Noelle… unless they really were Noelle! Yes, that makes perfect sense. His dear friend is the only one who knows all of his weak points in that game, of course she’d beat him. She must be too shy to tell him that she changed her gamertag. Silly Noelle, there was nothing to be scared of. Berdly was a very kind, forgiving individual.
But how to tell her that he knows, that he understands, that he’d never double cross his dear friend Noelle like he was planning to. This was all just some big misunderstanding! There was no other person who fit his suspect’s description, after all.
Perhaps Kris had forgotten Berdly’s number after all, though. They hadn’t called. Tut tut, Kris Dreemurr. They were missing their chance at Berdly’s carefully guarded heart, so graciously bared before them.
As established, Berdly is full of grace for those less socially adept than he is. He took initiative himself that morning, for he found a use for them- they could help him with his letting Noelle know that he knows that she knows.
“And then, you see- and it’s alright if you hadn’t picked up on this yourself, Kristopher- Noelle must have been my mystery usurper this entire time!”
They nodded matter-of-factly, for even if they couldn’t hope to catch up to Berdly, he could recognize that they could recognize true intelligence.
At least, he thought that was matter-of-factly..? They were making a face. Had he made this too difficult to understand? Ha, they probably didn’t even play minecraft, silly closed-minded Kris.
“So there is my reason, Kristine And I aspire to enlist you! For I see what others cannot, your true potential as my best solider, agent, liege- best.. er- non-binary-man. Person, I knew that.”
They shook their head from side to side matter-of-factly and in complete agreement.
“Good, good… Regroup with me at fifteen hundred hours, for intellection preparation.
“Mhm, busy then,” They mumbled in agreement.
“Silly Kristina, your tendencies will not escape my watchful bird’s eye view. Do not fret, even if you fail in this I won’t think any less of you. You failed to remember my number and I have not held such against you, have I?”
“I have it.”
“You-! You have my number? But you haven’t contacted me! It’s been- er, well, an appropriate amount of time for proper courting.”
“…No, I need more time.”
“...I’ll be waiting by the gate after school, remember fifteen hundred hours.”
“’s not your bedtime?”
“What-! Fifteen hundred hours is three o’clock! I am not conspiring in the dead of night with you, It would be uncouth!”
Susie and Kris were typically the last to exit the classroom. Poor Kris, having to be mercilessly bullied like that. Berdly couldn’t stand to watch, but at least Noelle insisted on watching for him. He was mildly concerned for her, but she had typically enjoyed frightening situations anyway. That thrill seeking won’t serve her one day, he thinks.
Kris meets him five minutes late and with no rush at all, but he’ll excuse it just this once. They had important briefing and strategies to get to.
“You should just tell ‘er,” They interrupted. It seems their bangs weren’t the only thing that blinded them.
“Tell her? With no class, with no fanfare?”
“No… turn the lights off. And I’ll hide.”
“Ah, like a sunrise!”
“Mhm. A big surprise. Project your voice from a speaker,” Kris nodded kindly.
“Ah, like a trick! We can’t trick her!”
“No, it’s easy. She likes ghosts… And candles, and forests, and large circles in the dirt.”
“Wow, Kristoff! You’ve outdone yourself this time, I must say. Perhaps you truly are worthy of being the Chris to my Wesker.”
“Mhm, I can wear sunglasses.”
“No Kris, I will be the one with the sunglasses. Your name is Kris, after all,” He chides.
“...you’ll see.”
And seeing he does, for Kris was wonderful at leaving scary invitations for people to find. Noelle would be home tonight, and it was there they would hatch their big revelation for her. Though, a few drawbacks mood wise, but Kris was willing whether Berdly could find enough seance candles or not. He refused to ask Catty, and Kris wasn’t convincing enough. But his scary voice amplifier was in order. Kris would ask to hang out, but quickly disappear once inside. Berdly would give his message from outside, fed through the speaker. It would be mysterious, cool, and undoubtedly reassuring.
As one might say, the game was set.
“Noelle, Noelle- fret no longer, for I know what you are!”
He could hear sounds of fretting from her window. Perhaps he shouldn’t have stayed outside for this. Too late now, to fix the flaw in Kris’s plan. They had joined him now, nearly undetectable as they took their place by his side.
“You see, your charade will last no longer-!”
Too late still, Noelle flings the speaker out of her window straight at them! How could she tell. It had been expertly hidden.
“Berdly?! What are you doing out there? Is- Kris??”
And so, they were sat down on the sofa like misbehaving children. Kris had snagged a candy cane on the way in, which they were sharpening to a point in their mouth.
“You see, Noelle- I simply didn’t know how to tell you- that I know that you know that I’m-”
“You- um, know what I am?”
“Yes! Well, it’s clear as day to me! You don’t need to worry about hiding anymore. I- well, it’s clear to me now that my approach was a bit off, but...”
“It’s alright, Berdly. I’m just- just glad, that you understand…”
Kris’s face was growing increasingly unreadable. Hm, perhaps they didn’t like that they weren’t the one to beat him at bedwars, a worthy thing to be jealous over. The fickle of the youth. Certainly something to warrant this much embarrassment, but Berdly’s sure he can provide comfort.
“There, there, Kristian. You needn’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have a chance to go up against me in the court of the minecraft one day.”
“Why- why would they be worried about that??”
“Well, since you’ve hidden your true identity as my mystery minecraft comrade. That’s why we’re here, after all.”
“That’s- that’s! That’s- Berdly-”
“It’s quite alright, Noelle. I understand,” Berdly nodded understandingly.
“No you don’t-! I haven’t been playing minecraft with you at all!”
“But- you admitted, you were hiding that…”
“I’m- you know, with Susie... I'm into girls, that's what I... I thought you were starting to get it. You know my minecraft account anyway- why would I even...”
“...Oh. I- I see… I thought you… got another one.”
“That’s like, sixty whole dollars,” She points at him as though he were the problem.
“Well, you’re better off than most… But, if you weren’t my advisory… Just who told you that they couldn’t play with me that day?”
“I, uh… can’t tell you that,” She doesn’t meet his eyes, Kris coughs into their hand. Berdly hopes they weren’t coming down with something.
“No one’s going to hear, are they? Your secret is safe with me, dear Noelle.”
“No- no, they’ll hear.” Noelle looks like she’s been caught in headlights. Kris coughs a little louder.
“Bless you, Kris. And- they’ll hear? You’ve been bugged, Noelle? I’ll help, I’ll help. I have electromagnetic signal detectors. This must be quite a secret…” He glances back to Kris, ready to excuse himself to get his bug detectors- but they were gone.
“I swear to- If they’re going to jump out of somewhere to scare me again-!”
“Yes, I can admit our plan wasn’t the most thoughtful, in retrospect… you’ll have to forgive Kris, they’re not the most socialized of people.”
“Oh, of course it was Kris’s plan. When have they ever-! You know what Berdly? I don’t care what happens!”
“You… no, Noelle-”
“It’s been Kris this whole time! They’ve been playing minecraft bedwars every night with you!”
Berdly’s eyes fall towards the sound of their nearly imperceptible footsteps. There they stood, glass of chocolate milk in hand, face unreadable but undeniably guilty. How could they lie to him like this? After being his greatest ally, to his greatest enemy? Berdly had been double crossed, he had been Caesar all along, his Judas standing before him with a sweet treat in hand, stolen from the kitchen of someone merely caught in the crossfire. A crossfire they had willingly created, to shirk the blame of their bedwars killings.
“It was… you, Kris? Kristopher?”
A mere nod from them, as hesitant as they would be in putting themselves to the pillory. This was no different, after all. How could they?
“You- that’s why you asked for my number! I should have known you never truly cared…”
“...ah-! Berdly-” All they could manage before he was running out the door. He’d had enough of this cruel, cruel world. If only they could have told him sooner, perhaps he wouldn’t have had to make this choice. But liars will lie again, won’t they?
The sleeve of his shirt, caught in their hand. Their face angled away from his view, hiding as always.
“...’m sorry, so please… I-… it was fun, playing with you. You’re good.”
“...good?”
“You’re not wrong,” They mumble, “I didn’t ask for your number for any other reason than to check that it was you. But- but I wanted it to be you. So that… so we… I wanna keep winning with you, so don’t run away.”
“I- I see. Hm. Well. Just… goodnight, Kris. I suppose I should thank you- no one’s ever… thank you.”
He ignores their being online for a whole day, to teach them a lesson. His master plan of teaching them a lesson worked, as they finally messaged him properly- did he want to go out tomorrow?
A silly question, one he wasn’t in a position to refuse. Kris truly was a master at this sort of thing. They got hot chocolate after school, Berdly doing most of the talking as usual. There was too much Kris could never tell him.
For right now, they would nod along and sip their drink. Berdly would make a show out of paying only for Kris to fork over five dollars to the waiter anyway. Perhaps the drink was too warm, or too sweet, or Kris was simply too sleepy, mumbled answers to his questions that were vaguely incoherent, muffled with their head on the table, their face hidden from Berdly still.