Archive of Our Own

"you're a spark in the dark and my clothes all caught aflame

you should feel how i feel when somebody says your name
i'm a car speeding down the boulevard without a brake
and i want you more than any stupid song could ever say

i'm a heart made of wax and i'm melting in the sun
i'm a thread on your shirt that is coming undone
i feel right, i feel wrong, i feel totally insane
and i want you more than any stupid song could ever say"

-olivia rodrigo's; stupid song.

Like most things in Gemini’s life, it all starts with Fourth.

More specifically, it all starts with Fourth doing something as simple as laughing his ass off because Gemini made, in his own words, “the silliest face ever”.

They’re resting after doing a live with P’Godji, and Gem keeps shaking his butt and making goofy faces because Fourth was tired and he wanted to cheer him up.

It works. Fourth is sunshine incarnate; bright and beaming as he doubles back, holding his stomach with how hard he laughs. Gemini giggles himself, because Fourth’s laugh is contagious. Their bodies brush together, shoulders bumping as they laugh in sync.

Then, when Fourth is wiping tears from his eyes, Gem smiles at him—boyish and toothy and happy he made Fourth feel better. Fourth mirrors him, shooting Gem a grin back—wide; so full of mirth and joy and irrevocably gorgeous—one eye slightly closed as the last bits of chuckles bubble out of his mouth, and it happens: Gemini gets the sudden and abrupt need to lean in and kiss him.

It catches him off guard. He takes a step back, blinking.

Huh?

…What was that thought just now?

His stomach feels all funny. It’s like a swarm of butterflies are dancing in his belly. They grow wilder when Fourth chuckles again, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder.

“Seriously,” Fourth says, smiling. His eyes are so full of gratitude and fondness; Gemini’s butterflies are doing gymnastics inside his ribcage looking at them. “You’re the cutest person ever, Gem.”

He pats Gem’s head, eyes twinkling, and Gem’s body warms all over in an instant. His eyes dart down, at Fourth’s lips—full and very pink. There’s still traces of lipgloss in them. His ever-present smile looks like it’d taste sweet.

Huh?

Wait.

Huuuh???

He can feel the blush creeping up his neck, confused and embarrassed by his own thoughts. Fourth is so close. Dangerously close. Gem turns around, agitated by whatever’s happening inside his belly and mind right now, and half-heartedly pushes Fourth away. It makes Fourth laugh again, cooing as he throws an arm around Gem’s shoulders.

“Aow,” he pokes Gem’s cheek. “Are you shy, teerak?”

Gem sticks out his tongue. The cheesy nickname—although not new—buzzes like radio static inside his brain now.

“Shut up,” he says, in a squeaky-voice. “Am not, kha.”

Fourth quirks an eyebrow, tilting his head closer to Gem’s face, as if to inspect it with faux seriousness. It makes Gem’s stomach do all kinds of flips—the butterflies are having a field day.

Fourth hums, delighted by how obviously flustered he is. “Is that so?”

Gem blinks; nods with puckered lips as his brain registers every single thing about Fourth that’s making him feel weird: he’s extremely warm; his eyelashes flutter against his everlasting rosy cheeks every time he blinks; his breath smells like toothpaste and something cinnamon-like.

Gem stares at the mole on his nose, the eyelashes fluttering again as he scrunches up his nose and pouts his lips, and the thought echoes once more inside his mind, incriminatory.

I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him. Just kiss him.

He tries pushing it down, ignoring how loud it echoes in his ears as he makes a show—flipping his hair, dramatically rolling his eyes and stomping away, Fourth laughing yet again as he follows suit.

He pretends it’s normal, an every-day fleeting thought that would go away as soon as Fourth is not around.

He pretends he’s not scared as hell of it coming back.

He pretends he doesn’t notice the way his heart ripples on his chest; butterflies still wild inside his belly—long after Fourth is gone and back home, and Gem is staring at the ceiling of his room with the lingering warmth of Fourth’s body all over his skin.

He’s well-versed in the art of ignoring impulsive thoughts that come and go when he’s around Fourth at this point. Mastered the beauty of ignoring his feelings when they get too confusing or overwhelming. He’ll do it again.

…Right?

(The thought doesn’t go away.)

The thing is—the first time it happens, Gemini can easily attribute it to post-filming afterglow. Maybe he got too into Barth’s character. Maybe his thoughts and feelings still echo inside Gem’s head, making a mess up there. It’s easy to get confused, sometimes—to mix things up, to get his own and his character’s feelings tangled up. Because, most of the time, they’re all too similar to what he actually feels for Fourth. Besides, they only recently wrapped-up filming. One month is not nearly enough to brush Barth off him. And it’s true that they always get clingier after filming a series—it’s difficult to just stop acting like boyfriends when they’ve been doing that every day for months long.

It’s reasonable to have Barth’s thoughts still in his head. It’s reasonable that he’d like to hold hands with Fourth or do romantic stuff with him when he just had Fourth’s tongue inside his mouth a month ago. It’s reasonable to think of him when he’s watching a romcom with his mom, after a kissing scene shows up and Gem remembers that he filmed a similar scene with Fourth and therefore now knows what Fourth sounds like before and after a kiss, when he’s needy and breathless like that, holding back from kissing Gem for dear life.

It’s logical to miss him like crazy when he’s not around, or think of him all the time, or call him after workhours because Gem wanted to tell him about his day. It’s normal to want to call him as soon as Fourth finishes his workout at the gym to tell him this joke—the one Gem thought of when he wasn’t around to hear it, because he knows it’d make Fourth laugh.

It’s rational to want to tell him about everything and anything that happens during his day, to want to include him in every conversation with his own friends, to find excuses to see him even when they don’t have events together.

It’s rational—they were together every day for hours and hours to end; how is he not gonna miss Fourth now that they’re apart? He’s used to have him around, to talk to him every day, to look for him in a room full of people, to glance at him to confirm if he’s laughing after Gem came up with a joke he knows Fourth’d like. Of course he’d miss Fourth. It feels lonely when he’s not there next to Gem.

It’s normal. All of that is completely and absolutely normal.

However, these… kissing thoughts keep happening—popping inside his mind on the most random moments.

They’re both at a live event for Grab—after too long, way too long; Gem has been seriously missing him too much—and Fourth is putting on cat ears and making paws with his fists, meowing in Gem’s direction with the goofiest tone of voice, and Gem is so happy and endeared he could burst. He’s so unbelievably glad he can see Fourth again and so ridiculously fond of all his antics. He can’t stop giggling—over and over again he fears he might look stupid; but that’s just what happens when Fourth is around. Then, Fourth is winking at him, moving his paw-fists in a cute dancing gesture as he blows Gem a kiss and, there it is: Gem’s mind buzzes, just for a second, glitching before thinking ‘ah. I want to kiss him.’

Another day, Fourth is sitting on his make-up chair, getting all dolled-up in pink and red shades while Gem lazes around, free after P’Tong finished with him. Fourth looks up, flashes a smile when he catches Gem’s reflection across the mirror—sweet and adoring and all kinds of tender—and Gem’s mind goes ‘oh. I wanna kiss him’ again.

One late evening, Fourth is on the phone, telling Gem about his long day filming Scarlet Heart while Gem roams around his room. He’s packing things to move to his new house and Fourth starts whining on the speaker because he’s tired. He sounds sleepy; which means he starts babbling, rambling about made-up stories. Gem is infinitely entertained; he thinks Fourth would be an extraordinary writer if he ever decided to put those ideas on paper. His voice gets whiny at times—then low and soft and a bit hoarse. It’s like a lullaby to Gem, he could listen to him for hours and not get bored one bit. Then, Fourth starts talking about missing Gem—he mentions it so many times it makes Gem’s heart ache and flip in his chest. Gem promises he’ll go to the gym with him on the weekend and Fourth gets lively once again—now laughing about something Phuwin and Perth did on set. He laughs so loud Gem can hear the high-pitched breath at the edge of it. Gem is so very smitten he can’t even hide it; Fourth’s laugh is the cutest thing he’s ever heard. At some point in the conversation, his mind is a jumbled, incoherent line of ‘I wish he was here so I could kiss him silly,’ and he doesn’t realize it until it gets too loud inside his head that it’s everything he’s thinking about.

Another night, Fourth is leaning over the passenger seat of Gem’s car, grabbing Gemini’s neck to pull him closer and give a loud smooch to his cheek. He’s saying goodbye, na teng with the sweetest voice in the world, and Gem’s heart is rippling inside his chest so hard he gets worried he might get a cardiac arrest. The next second, Fourth is stepping outside the car, thanking Gem one last time for dropping him at his house after filming an ad together. Gemini is too enthralled in Fourth’s sweet grin to actually wave back, too busy feeling hypersensitive about everything—the lingering saccharine scent of Fourth’s perfume inside the car, the traces of warmth Fourth’s hand left on his neck, the way his mind is so full of want—want to close the distance between them, want to hold Fourth’s hand to pull him back inside the car, want to crawl over the seats and sit on Fourth’s lap, want to kiss him right there, on the quiet of the night, with Fourth holding his waist and Gem sitting on the warmth of his thighs.

This is too much.

He understands a fleeting thought—seeping inside him once or twice. But what is this?

Gem is trying to sleep at night, or microwaving his dinner, or packing the gift Fourth gave him last June with the utmost care inside a neat box, or preparing to go to the gym with Fourth one morning, and he’d keep thinking about Fourth. Fourth, Fourth, Fourth. About the high-pitched breath in Fourth’s laugh, or the way he looks bare-faced, or the way he smiles so kindly Gemini’s knees would go weak every time, or the way Gem can smell his flowery perfume on his own clothes after Fourth hugged him for too long on the day. And he keeps thinking about kissing him. Over and over and over again.

What is this?

It’s like the hyperfixations he gets when he’s obsessed about learning how to play a new instrument, except his mind is full of Fourth instead of musical notes, and his pretty face and pretty lips keep bombarding his thoughts instead of unborn melodies plaguing his sleepless nights.

He feels like an effervescent drink, fizzy and bubbling outside the small can that contains it—thoughts overflowing his mind uncontrollably, unable to stop.

He’s worried about it, because, most importantly, what if Fourth noticed? Sure, he keeps flirting and making attempts to kiss Gemini, but those are all silly jokes, right? It’s not like Fourth actually thinks about kissing Gem for real, off-camera, without the staff avidly watching them behind lens.

It’s not like he spends entire days with Gem’s name on his mind, pondering about how and what Gem’s doing, wondering if Gem’s thinking of him that much too.

…Right?

He’s just curious.

Yeah, that’s all it is. Gemini has never imagined himself with a guy before—or anyone, for the matter. Sure, he’s had feeble crushes, mostly on seniors who are cool or really pretty. But he’s never actually imagined himself kissing them before. That’s why the incessant thought of kissing Fourth keeps flashing his mind now. He’s just intrigued by the idea outside filming, now that he’s finally experimented kissing.

After all, he’s never kissed anyone before or after Fourth. He’s never wanted to before. So maybe this is just because Fourth is the only person he’s ever kissed, and the only person he’s acted romantic towards to, and he’s Gemini’s… well, Gemini’s everything—his best friend, his comfort zone, his first in nearly everything he’s done, the person he wants to see when he’s feeling down or stressed or curious or happy. Gemini would go as far as say they’re soul-bonded for life, or akin soulmates that were meant to find each other. Of course it’s easy to get confused about this kissing thing. It’s not about kissing Fourth—his brain is just mixing romantic stuff because Fourth is… well, Fourth.

Because, honestly, what are the characteristics to want to kiss someone? Fourth has them all. He’s pretty and very attractive; he’s sweet and kind and really soft with Gemini. He makes Gemini feel the most at ease he’s ever been in his skin. He’s really funny and very smart and stupidly cute. He smells nice. He has really, really pretty lips and beautiful eyes. And isn’t that all there is to kiss someone? Fourth is the perfect candidate. He’s also really good at kissing—objectively, Gem can tell. Maybe he doesn’t have experience to compare him to, but he still remembers the way Fourth kisses—slow and needy and all-consuming. The memory of their kiss in that bathroom hall as BarthTanrak still haunts him sometimes, making something warm and fuzzy crawl out of his skin every time he remembers the way it felt—the way Fourth held Gem’s neck and gripped his hair, the way he pushed him on that wall and collided with him, all firm skin and strong muscles. He still remembers the taste, the way Fourth kissed him, all-open mouthed and breathing heavy against Gem’s lips.

…Yeah. Even if he doesn’t have much experience, Gem is sure Fourth is good at kissing.  

So maybe, perhaps, this is all there is to it. Maybe, just maybe, if he kisses someone else, the idea of kissing will be finally out of his mind. Maybe he won’t be obsessed with it anymore.

Yeah. It sounds reasonable.

But who could he kiss? He already tried dating before—during that time him and Fourth weren’t filming anything together and he felt like he had to.

At the end, it didn’t really feel like the right moment—he was busy all the time, he didn’t have much free time to date, and it all felt like an obligation of sorts, like he was expected to and not so much because he actually wanted to—and no one seemed to feel… right. No one seemed to feel like it was supposed to. No one caught his attention enough to kiss them after a few failed dates. And it was always more fun to hang out with his friends or work with Fourth.

So now, what does he do? He supposes he could try someone who was interested in him. There were people at uni who asked him out before and he turned them down—but it just seemed cruel to kiss them out of an experiment.

He pondered about it. Maybe someone from the industry? A friend? They could do it just for fun—like helping him out to get rid of this obsession once and for all, and it’d be for nothing more than satisfy his curiosity. They’d understand if Gem explained it to them. But who— at first, Peem seemed like a good option. He liked Gem, he’d probably kiss him if Gem asked him to. But he was busy and it was weird to just get in contact for that reason if they didn’t talk that much, right?

So, who else? He was too shy to ask Prim, especially after she confided in him that she was a lesbian. Pahn would’ve probably done it, if she didn’t have a girlfriend.

The solution comes when he’s sitting in Perth’s living-room, just after they finished rehearsal for Gem’s concert. Perth is lying on his sofa, with his feet on Gem’s thighs. Phuwin is sitting on the floor across them. They’ve all been drinking and goofing off. It’s nice, because, for once, he’s not madly thinking about kissing.

The sofa feels soft and he’s laughing at Phuwin’s poor imitation of Khun Thee.

“Dude,” Perth says, crying-laughing. “That reminds me, Fourth does the best impression of him I’ve ever seen. Still baffles me how he didn’t get a cameo on the series.”

Usually, whenever Fourth is mentioned in a conversation, Gem would perk-up like a happy puppy wagging his tail. Or somehow, he’d find a way to bring up Fourth himself.

This time, he sinks into the couch, because Fourth’s name just makes the thought of kissing him resurface full-force into his brain, and now he’s stressed yet again.

He looks at his friends, blissfully oblivious. Their conversation fades out into background noise as he thinks about Fourth. Fourth, who has a very kissable face. Fourth, who just texted him this morning with a gym pic and teased him about being strong enough to carry him for ten blocks without breaking a sweat. Fourth, who called him ‘my puppy’ out of fucking nowhere last Tuesday during Love of Siam script-reading, and made Gem blush so hard he was sure he was about to pass the fuck out. Fourth, who’s called him a million different variants of cute, multiple times during the last two weeks, because Gem—maybe, just maybe, on purpose—had let his bangs down every time he met him. Fourth, whose arms were huge and whose blond hair was a fucking menace to society. Fourth, who Gem is sure would kiss him so good.

Ughhhh.

Perth interrupts his thoughts by kicking him on the side.

“Oi,” he says, propping himself up with his forearms to look back at Gem. “You okay? You spaced out there.”

No, Gem thinks of answering. You see… I want to kiss my best friend so badly it’s getting ridiculous.

“Yes,” he says, in lieu of explaining his massive infatuation with Fourth. “Just…”

Gem blinks. He looks at Perth, then at Phuwin. They stare back, puzzled.

Wait.

This might be it. They were very acceptable options to end this with. Both were close to Gem, very good friends. They had experience in kissing. Neither of them was homophobic, so the idea of kissing another guy wouldn’t be out of the question for them. And they were both single, if you excluded whatever weird thing they had going on with their ship counterparts. And if one of them didn’t want to, maybe the other one would do it. Friends kissed each other sometimes, just for fun, right? This wouldn’t be so weird to ask, right?

Gem sits up, straightening his back and beaming at them, enthusiastic. Finally! The light at the end of the tunnel! He won’t be obsessed with kissing Fourth anymore and everything will go back to the usual platonic (and, occasionally, too-fond and too-adoring) thoughts! Yup. All solved!

He leans over Perth’s legs, towards both of them, and bounces in his seat. “Can we kiss?”

Perth and Phuwin blink, then share a look.

“Huh?” Phuwin goes.

“Can you two kiss me?” Gem asks, again, thinking they’re maybe confused about a three-way kissing thing.

When they keep staring at him in silence, like he grew two heads on the spot, he starts getting self-conscious.

“…Would that be weird for you?”

Perth laughs, but it’s not mean. He just seems amused. “How drunk are you exactly, nong?”

“I’m not drunk!” he whines. “I’m just… trying to figure out something. I’ve been stressed about it lately.”

They both nod like that makes the most sense.

“Would it be okay with you if we kissed, then? It’d be a one-time thing. Just like friends.”

“A kiss like friends…” Phuwin chuckles, teasing. “How many times have you said this to Fourth?”

“Shut up,” Gem grumbles. The sole mention of his name makes his neck go warm. By the way Perth and Phuwin look at him, he’s pretty sure he’s blushing.

“So,” Perth says, mouth quirked-up to one side. “A kiss. You sure?”

“Well…” yeah, I just want to get over this already. “Only if Pond and Santa would be okay with it. I don’t wanna be a homewrecker.”

“What are you saying?” Phuwin laughs. “You know we’re all just…”

He taps the floor with one finger, and the laugh dies down in his throat as he seems to think it over.

“Friends,” he says, curtly. Then, he winces like it sounds wrong the second it comes out of his mouth. “For lack of, er, a better word.”

“I’m honestly more worried about N’Fot kicking my ass, but… I don’t think N’Ta would mind,” Perth shrugs. “So, I mean… Sure.”

Gem blinks. Suddenly, it all feels too real. “Sure?”

“Yeah, sure,” Perth says, leaning over the sofa. He’s closer now; his knees bump with Gem’s, and his arm brushes with his when Gem turns to glance back at him. “Okay, nong. I’ll do it. If you still want to.”

“I want to,” Gem says.

It’s not like he’s lying—he proposed this himself, and he’s not disgusted by the idea of kissing his friends. It’s just that it’s… different already. There’s a pull in his stomach, but Gem isn’t sure what it is. It doesn’t quite feel like the butterflies Fourth pulls out of him.

Still, he really wants to get back to normal, so he’ll go along with it. Perth is nice enough to do this as a friend.

Phuwin sighs. When Gem looks back at him, he glances up fondly exasperated. Like he’s endeared by Gem’s silly idea, but also think he’s a dork.

“I’m still not sure why you wanna do this with us, but,” Phuwin pats Gem’s knee. “Yeah, okay. It’s cool with me too.”

Gem perks up. There, two people! He’s gonna kiss two of his friends! That sure would be enough to eat that obsession inside of him.

“Thank you, guys. I owe you one.”

They both laugh.

“Yeah, it’s fine. You’ve pecked me already anyway,” Phuwin says, beckoning with his hand. “Come here.”

Gem leans down. He closes his eyes, waits for Phu to meet him halfway. And he does— tilts up his head and kisses Gem. His hand makes its way to Gem’s nape, and he’s gentle as he presses closer to him. He’s warm; tastes like the drink he just had. His bangs tickle Gem’s forehead and cheeks. He’s soft; caring in the way he kisses and holds Gem. The pull in Gem’s stomach dies down, fades into blank.

He blinks as he pulls back.

Huh. That was so… normal.

“Okay,” Perth says, already leaning closer to Gem. “My turn.”

Gem turns to see him. Instead of grabbing his neck, he thumbs at Gem’s jaw and tilts Gem’s head close to his. He’s smiling, like he’s amused and finds Gem’s clueless expression endearing. Gem’s lashes flutter as he closes his eyes. He waits, then wonders why is he so calm when Perth closes the distance between them. His lips are a bit chapped, but Gemini doesn’t care that much, he just notices it. He’s warm too, a bit warmer than Phuwin. He sucks Gem’s bottom lip, and he’s a bit rougher than Phuwin, but still gentle.

Gem kisses back, instinctively, but it becomes background noise as he remembers the way Fourth kisses. Fourth is gentle too, but it’s different—he’s soft but eager, like he wants it but Gem is so precious to him he’s savoring and treasuring every second of the kiss, committing it to memory. He’s warm too, but in way that seeps into Gem’s own skin. He tastes sweet and holds him, and it’s just… different.

Perth pulls back, and Gem frowns. Huh.

That really was so… ordinary. Is this what normal kissing is supposed to feel like, outside filming? Why do people hype it up so much?

“You’re so quiet,” Perth says. “So? Did you figure out whatever you were thinking about? How was it?”

Gem hums. It wasn’t a bad experience per se, it was just… boring. Like mechanics. A mouth pressed to another. A body close to his.

“Yeah… I felt nothing.”

Phuwin snorts.

Perth quirks both eyebrows, puts a hand over his chest in faux dramatism. “Ouch?”

Phuwin starts laughing, “We love you too, man.”

“Ah—no, no!” Gem flails his arms. Was that too mean? “I mean— Sorry! I just… it wasn’t bad, it just didn’t feel like anything special, you know?”

Perth hums.

“I’m sorry, I—”

Gem doesn’t know how to put his feelings into words. How does he explain that it felt like whatever kissing them now, when he’s felt way too many emotions when he kissed Fourth during filming? It’s confusing.

“I— I don’t want to be mean, it’s just— it felt like… a mouth?” Gem tilts his head. “But I don’t think either of you are bad kissers. Judging by the way P’Pond and Santa have kissed you on your series, they likely feel something else.”

Like Gem with Fourth.

“So… you’re saying you didn’t feel anything special with us, because you’ve felt something kissing N’Fourth before.”

Gem presses his lips together.

Phuwin chortles, “You’re such an open book, man.”

“Well,” Gem squeaks, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling exposed. “Yeah, it does feel different when I kiss him. It’s not just… a mouth. It’s…”

Sweet. Hot. All-consuming. Affectionate and loving and… everything—it’s Fourth’s smile before he kisses him, and the way it tastes against Gem’s mouth; it’s the way Fourth looks at him before and after being kissed; it’s the breathy sounds he makes and the way Gem can feel his ear getting warmer by every passing second as he holds him back.

“It’s different,” he settles on, small. He hugs his knees against his chest. He feels like clueless kid, unable to figure out his feelings. “…Do you think it’s because I’m still too into the character?”

Phuwin scans his face. “You mean Barth?”

“Mhm.”

“It’s been nearly two months after you wrapped up filming, isn’t it?” Phuwin says. “Wouldn’t you be out of character by now?”

“I don’t know…” Gem pouts. “I guess so…”

The thing is… Gem is not stupid. He’s starting to connect the dots. If he really didn’t feel anything at all kissing other people, then maybe all of this kissing thing was, truly, not so much about kissing itself but about kissing Fourth. And if he actually wants to kiss Fourth and that’s the reason he can’t stop thinking about it, isn’t the only logical explanation that Gem likes him? That has to be. It has to be, but… he doesn’t want to admit it. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to say it out loud.

Because if Gem actually likes him, that would only complicate things, wouldn’t it? They are an official couple, sure, but they have their own careers outside each other, and what if this holds Fourth back? And what if he confesses and messes things up? He’s sure Fourth won’t abandon him because of his feelings, but he’d make things awkward between them. And—

“Hey,” Phuwin says, voice soft as he pats Gem’s knee. “Don’t look so stressed. It’s okay.”

“Yes, we can help you figure things out. You’re not alone,” Perth says, smiling reassuringly as he squeezes his shoulder. “And, well, wouldn’t you know if it’s only the character’s feelings if you two already kissed off-camera? Did you feel anything then?”

“That’s true,” Phuwin points out. Then, he seems to notice something on Gem’s expression, because he quirks both eyebrows and goes, “Wait… you two haven’t kissed off-camera?”

Gem shakes his head.

“What…? I could’ve sworn you two kissed each other at least once off-camera.”

“Well, there was this one time, for My School President. But he was just being nice, you know? Trying to ease me into it because I hadn’t had my first kiss yet and we were about to film it, but… there were tons of people around. I don’t think that counts, I just wanted to disappear. I was just trying to hug him and hide behind him the whole time, because everybody kept looking at me and... you know, there was this… people filming the behind the scenes and…”

“Yeah,” Perth looks at him, horrified. “That definitely doesn’t count.”

“Yeah,” Phuwin agrees. “I just thought… it’s not like Fourth told me so, but he’s a gatekeeper when it comes to you sometimes, so I just figured he had kept it to himself.”

“Why did you think we kissed off-camera then?”

“Well,” Phuwin makes a vague gesture at him. “Because… you know, the way you act around each other.”

Gem tilts his head. “Huh? What does that mean?”

Phuwin sends Perth a look, like help me out here. Perth ruffles Gem’s head, chuckling.

“Gemini,” he says. “You two are crazy about each other. Every time you’re in a room together, there’s so much tension between you two.”

He mirrors Phuwin’s hand gestures and does them himself.

“I don’t mean like… bad tension, just— like something happened. Or you want it to happen. And it’s been even more intense since you two filmed Ticket to Heaven. That’s why most people who meet you two think you’ve got something going on for real.”

Gem opens his mouth, mind buzzing. “Do you think Fot knows?”

They stare at him.

“Yeah,” Phuwin says, slowly. “I think he probably does.”

“But it’s not a bad thing,” Perth says. “It means you two are on the same page. Right?”

Gem stares at his own feet. His stomach is a mess. What if Fourth knows? What if Fourth actually thinks about kissing him too? Does he want it just as much? Just how long has he wanted to? Does that mean that if Gem asked, Fourth would actually kiss him?

Maybe he would. Maybe Gem could just ask and nothing would go wrong, and he finally would be able to satisfy the worm that’s been eating at his brain lately.

Right?

…Right?

It’s been a stressful and long, long day.

Gemini hides in a storage room, away from everyone, after he wrapped up filming some promotional content for his concert. He’s tired and just wants to sleep. Maybe eat something too, he’s hungry.

He groans into his hands. He’s starting to get a headache, and as much as he’s a people person, he truly can’t be around anyone right now.

Well… maybe around someone.

Fuck. He misses Fourth. He misses Fourth so much. He wishes he was here.

As if on cue, the door opens.

“Ah,” someone says. “Found you!”

Does Gemini miss Fourth that much? Is he hallucinating? Because he could swear that’s Fourth’s voice—

“Brought you something, teerak!”

Okay, that’s definitely Fourth’s voice. And when Gem looks up, Fourth is definitely the one standing up in front of him.

He looks down at him, offers Gem the paper bag he’s carrying in one hand, and smiles. His smile could rival the sun—bright and beautiful and lighting up the room in one second. Gem feels so warm just looking at it, and after such a shitty day, that he could burst into tears. Just the sight of him is so comforting that Gem is about to stand up and crush him into a hug.

“Fot?”

“Hi,” he says. “I was filming close to that Japanese restaurant you like, and I knew you’d probably be around when I come to GMM’s building, because you told me you were filming for your concert, so…” he half-shrugs. “I bought you this.”

Gem blinks; grabs the bag when Fourth pushes it closer to Gem’s chest.

“I think it’s still warm, so…” he gently kicks Gem’s leg. “If you wanna eat right now, it’s okay.”

Gem looks down at the bag, and his eyes sting. He’s pretty sure fat wet tears are a second away from rolling down his cheeks, incriminating. He’s overcome with a rush of affection so huge it feels like he’s going to explode—overflowing in waves all down his entire system.

He couldn’t love Fourth any more than he already does, even if he tried. He’s just so, so kind. The kindest person in the world. The sweetest person in the world. He deserves so much love. So, so much love back. If Gem could bring down the stars from the sky for him, he would. In a heartbeat.

“So?” he asks, grinning. “Did I win a hug?”

Gem was about to hug him before, so he puts the bag on the side and stands up to do just that. Maybe too fast—he bumps into him, clashing together as he wraps his arms behind Fourth’s back and buries his face into his neck, melting into him. Fourth chuckles on his ear, cradling the back of his head and rubbing lines up and down Gemini’s back.

Gem sighs, contently.

He could be like this forever and be happy for the rest of his life. He doesn’t need anything more than this. Whatever trace of discomfort, tiredness or sadness in him is long gone from his body, replaced by Fourth’s warmth and peace; sweeping away any lingering bad feelings with the safety and coziness of his arms.

He takes a deep breath. Fourth’s scent truly makes him feel so at ease. He’s starting to understand why is it that Fourth likes to steal Gem’s clothes so much—especially if he’s wore them before.

The sole idea of Fourth being as mutually smitten as Gem is with him makes him so ridiculously happy.

He kisses Fourth’s neck, just around the line of his pulse. It beats under his lips, thump-thump-thump. Then, he kisses him again, a bit down, on the spot where his shoulder meets his neck. Again, on his collarbone, over the clothes. Again, under his jaw, mouth lingering there a bit longer when Fourth’s breath catches slightly on his throat.

He pulls back, smiling sweetly, arms still wrapped around Fourth’s neck.

“You’re an angel.”

Fourth smiles—the kind of smile he does when he presses his lips together in a thin line, and his cheeks puff out. He looks cute. He’s probably trying to hide how shy he is, but the way he blinks fast and his ears get a cherry-red shade give him away.

“You could’ve thanked me as a normal person, teerak,” he teases, voice low and soft.

“Mmm,” Gem clicks his tongue. “Sorry. I missed you. It’s what Fot’s withdrawals do to me.”

“Yeah, I get you,” Fourth says, wistfully, as if they’re star-crossed lovers separated for too long.

Gem feels that too. Why can’t he just see Fourth every day?

Fourth tilts his head to press his forehead to Gem’s, moving his face in a way that kind of makes their noses brush together. Fourth takes a deep breath, basking in the closeness. “I miss you too. Seriously.”

Fourth looks at him with such a loving gaze it makes Gem’s heart flip. His eyes are so, so soft—saccharine and honey-like type of sweet. Gentle and grateful, like he couldn’t be more thankful that Gem is part of his life.

Gem looks back at him through his eyelashes. He’s so close—just a breath away.

Kiss him, a voice echoes inside his brain. Then again, kiss him.

He could. Gem knows he could. Maybe there was a chance that Fourth would kiss him back. But if not… Gem loves him way too much. There’s no way he could ever ruin this for a kiss.

“I’m…” Gemini steps back. Detangling his body from Fourth’s physically pains him. “I think I’ll start eating.”

“Oh,” Fourth nods. “Yes, sure. Go ahead.”

Gem nods, sits down and opens the bag. Just smelling the food makes Gem want to kiss Fourth again.

“Jesus Christ,” Gem blurts out.

Fourth laughs.

“Does that mean I got your order right?” he grins, sitting down next to him.

Gem crosses his legs to use them as a made-up table and leans back against Fourth, his back pressing against Fourth’s side. He’s warm. “You always get everything about me right.”

“Don’t I?” Fourth mumbles.

His arm slides over the backrest, slipping between the couch and Gem’s side. He wraps it around Gem’s waist, hand open against Gem’s belly.

“Bad day?” he says, voice soft.

Gem doesn’t even ask him how did you know? Because Fourth always knows.

“Mmn.”

Fourth pulls him closer, gently, so Gem’s side is resting against his chest now. He’s nearly sitting on Fourth’s lap like this, and Gem shouldn’t feel so ridiculously elated, but he does.

“D’you wanna talk about it?”

Gem shrugs, dives into his food and munches the rice as he speaks, whiny. He doesn’t know why, but with Fourth, he tends to do this baby-like kind of voice. He didn’t notice it before—it was something natural that just seemed to happen. Prim pointed it out one day, months before, during an event the three of them had together—she was teasing and endeared, not malicious at all, and Gem felt flustered as hell when he realized she was right. But even so… he can’t seem to avoid it, even after it’s been said out loud.

“I went to uni this morning,” he says.

“Mmn.”

“They said I was definitely not graduating this year,” Gem puffs. “It’s just… it’s really sad, you know? At this point, I’ll be in uni eternally, just like our characters are stuck in high school. I want to graduate already! And I wish I had more time to go to classes, but I just can’t. And it feels like all my friends are getting ahead, and I’m happy for them, I really am, but I… I wanted to graduate together. I wanted to have my uni normal life.”

Fourth hums.

“And—and it’s not like I regret choosing this path. I love singing. I love performing, and I love acting now. I love doing what I do. And we have our fans,” Gem says. “I met you. But I can’t help to be upset sometimes.”

Fourth doesn’t answer, just lets him talk. Letting all out.

“And I was so upset that I kept messing up this commercial with Pond earlier,” he whines. “We had so many takes, I was so frustrated! And then my concert—there’s this fucking song I’ve been trying to write but it just doesn’t sound right to me. It’s just… the chorus is still missing something but I don’t know what! I stayed up late yesterday trying to get the melody I want but I just can’t. And I’m tired.”

He sighs.

“Sorry,” he says. “I’m rambling.”

“Hey,” Fourth rubs his belly. “You don’t need to apologize. That does sound exhausting. I get it, I truly do.”

Gem tilts his head, lets it fall back on Fourth’s shoulder. He knows Fourth understands. He knows Fourth is probably the only one that actually gets what it’s like. They both grew up in the industry; with all eyes watching them as they propped into massive popularity in just a couple of months. It was hard, but least they did it together.

“Thank you,” Gem says. “Talking it out really did help.”

“Of course. You can always talk to me.”

Gem smiles. He knows.

They fall into silence as Gem keeps eating, Fourth’s belly-rubs ever-present.

After a moment, Fourth quips up, “You know… About the song, you can try playing some notes for me and maybe brainstorming your ideas would help you out? I’m always down to listen to your music, you know. And I’m happy to help pitching out my ideas if you want.”

Gem perks up. Fourth smiles at him like he’s a cute puppy.

“Really?”  he yelps, turning his head to look back at him.

Fourth nods, smile widening. His eyes soften, twinkling under the lights of the room. For a split second, Gemini deludes himself into thinking Fourth is about to kiss him himself.

“That’d be so helpful! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Could we meet during the week?”

“Sure. I’ll text you when I’m free,” Fourth grins. “It’s a date, baby.”

Baby. It’s not new that Fourth calls him that, but it still makes his stomach feel all funny. Baby, baby, baby.

In lieu of making a fool out of himself saying anything remotely eloquent, he just keeps quiet, tapping his head back in Fourth’s shoulder.

“And also… making mistakes during filming is normal, you know that,” Fourth says, adding reassurances to his earlier rambling. “I’m sure P’Pond was happy to spend more time with you in that commercial, it’s been long since you two met each other. And you always do a good job, I’m sure the staff understood you weren’t feeling it today if you got a couple of takes wrong. The important thing is that you got the job done, and that you’re always professional.”

Fourth rests his chin on the top of Gem’s head.

“And,” he says, “If they can’t understand that, they can fuck off.”

Gem giggles. It’s not usual that Fourth ever badmouths someone, especially staff. But he won’t hesitate to do so whenever anyone makes Gem feel bad.

Gem gets it. He gets so mad whenever anyone dares to say anything bad about Fourth.

“And regarding uni…” Fourth says, wrapping his other arm around Gemini’s waist as well. “I’m as behind as you are, so at least we’re both trying our best, aren’t we?”

Gem hums. “We are.”

“That’s right. Even if we don’t graduate with the others, we’re working very hard. Isn’t that what you say to me all the time? Hm?” his voice is soft—soothing and calm, like he’s trying to calm down a baby. “I totally get being upset. I get like that, too. I miss going to classes, and I’d definitely love going like a normal student; but you should be proud of yourself. You’ve almost finished with your own home, you got a new car, you have two prospering business that you did all on your own. Like you said, those are big projects you’re able to have because of all the hard work you’ve put up all these years. So yes, maybe your studies have been a bit neglected, but that’s normal. You’ve learned so much more about the work environment, I assure you you’re ahead of your classmates on that field. Be proud of yourself.”

Gem’s chest warms up at the words; swelling with a rush of affection. I love you, his heart chants, over and over again. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“Thank you.”

“It’s just the truth,” he says, soft.

Whatever he’s about to say dies on his tongue as soon as Fourth moves to hold his hand. He intertwines their fingers together and brings up Gem’s hand to his mouth, slowly, pressing his lips softly against Gem’s knuckles. It reminds Gem of the improv he did during the BarthTanrak driving scene—where he looked proudly at his marriage ring and then kissed Gem’s. It makes Gem shudder now, warmth creeping up his neck. He can feel the blush spreading across his cheeks, down his nose.

Fourth smiles, like that only makes him all the more endeared.

“I’m proud of you.”

I love you, his mind supplies, as he looks back at him. I love you so fucking much, it’s unreal.

His brain is a jumbled-up mess; and his stomach dances to one of his songs as words echoes loudly in his ears—I want to kiss you. I love you. I want to kiss you so bad. I love you. Please kiss me. I love you. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. Please. I love you. I love you so much I feel like I’m going to explode.

Gah.

He takes a deep breath—Fourth’s flowery scent invades his senses, and he tries to calm down. He needs to get it together.

“I’m proud of you too,” Gem says, voice small and fragile.

Fourth smiles, sweet. “I know. You always say it.”

He moves his chin on the top of Gem’s head to pat it instead, ruffling his hair and brushing the messy strands off his face.

“I’ll always be here for you.”

He smiles, then brings his hand back down so he can rub Gem’s belly once again.

Gem looks down at his other hand—laced with Gem’s, resting on Fourth’s warm thigh. Fourth sweeps his thumb up and down, up and down—caressing Gem’s hand with gentleness. Gem feels so ridiculously comforted he’s worried he might start crying on the spot.

“Fou…”

“Hm?”

Gem licks his lips, swallows the knot forming in his throat. He tilts his head, presses a kiss on Fourth’s temple.

Even when he’s the one who did it, he starts getting stupidly shy. The skin of his face feels furiously hot out of the sudden, and Fourth’s eyes glint like stars looking at him.

“I love you,” Gem says. His voice is a soft, tremulous thing—vulnerable and open and bleeding out.

Fourth’s smile is the most beautiful thing Gem has ever seen. “I love you too, Gem.”

It’s just his name; Fourth says it like it’s something precious. Just an answer to what Gem said; but Fourth says it like it’s real—like love between them is something far bigger than whatever it originally meant.

Gem feels bubbly—dizzy and giddy and lightheaded. He avoids eye-contact, fearing he’d do something stupid.

They stay in silence then, and Gem feels so at peace and relaxed he starts dozing off.

His head bobs and Fourth chuckles, “You can sleep, you know?”

“Mmn,” Gem rubs his eyes. “Don’t you have to go? For work?”

“Yeah, but I still have—” Fourth looks over his shoulder, down at the watch on Gem’s wrist, “—thirty minutes. We’re not starting until next hour so you can totally take a nap on me.”

Gem hums. “…Just five minutes.”

Fourth laughs. “Take all the time you need.”

Gem squints, pouting his lips. “I feel like you’re taking advantage of the situation,” he jests.

“Smart puppy,” Fourth shoots, grinning.

Gem’s cheeks flame up. If he calls him ‘puppy’ one more time Gem is sure he’ll do something stupid.

“Anyway!” he squeaks, flustered. “I’m going to sleep, kha!”

Fourth giggles. “Okay, teerak.”

Gem puffs, then closes his eyes and pointedly ignores Fourth’s eyes on him.

He doesn’t even realize he falls asleep until later, when he’s drowsy and barely conscious, and feels Fourth’s firm and warm chest against his cheek. He barely registers that Fourth is carrying him bridal-style, walking down the hall with him in his arms, following behind P’Jack.

Then, he’s putting him on the sofa they have in the make-up room as P’Tong teases him and tells him to come closer so he can prepare him for his shoot.

“I swear, you two are so in love, it’s so cute,” someone coos, and it feels like Fourth is brushing his bangs off before something warm and soft presses against his forehead.

“Sweet dreams, love,” he whispers, close, breath warm on Gem’s skin.

Gem’s lashes flutter, but he can’t open his eyes with how tired he is.

…Did Fourth just kissed his forehead? Did Fourth just called him “love”?

Did Gem dream that?

Wait, no. He can still feel Fourth’s lips on him.

He didn’t dream it. It happened.

…Right?

Gem fiddles with the squishy Fourth gifted him yesterday—a small puppy, with perked-up ears, sticking out his tongue. It was cute—akin to the pouty duck he had given him months ago.

“Reminded me of you”, Fourth had said, with the fondest, sweetest smile he could wear; eyes honey-like, dripping with softness. “And maybe it’d help with the stress?”

Gem groans. Jesus. How is he seriously so sweet?

Gem really wants to kiss him. Like, really. Maybe cuddle to sleep too—nuzzled into his arms, safe and cozy and warm. Maybe kiss him again. Maybe let him pin Gem to the bed and kiss him slowly, and then sleep in his arms.

Jeeeeesus. Christ. He’s going insane.

“You think that if I asked Fourth to kiss me off-camera, he would say yes?”

Luke doesn’t even flinch at his question, unbothered as he keeps playing the videogame on his TV. He does as much as snort and say, amused, “Are you joking?”

Gem pouts. This is serious business!

“No.”

Something in his tone of voice makes Luke look back at him, curious.

“Oh,” he says, arching both eyebrows. “Oh.”

Gem sits on the bed, embarrassed. He squeaks, whiny and flustered. “Don’t make fun of me!”

Luke lifts up his hands in a peacemaker gesture.

“I’m not!” he yelps. Then, he pauses the game and turns around to fully face him. “I’m not, bro. I just— Well, the answer is obvious, that’s why I thought you were joking.”

Gem stares at him, puzzled.

“Gemini,” Luke says, sending him a look, like he can’t quite pinpoint if he’s serious or nor. “I think Fourth would say yes so fast if you ask him to kiss you, that he’d bite his own tongue.”

Gem flails his arms, stressed. “How is that obvious?”

“Dude,” Luke tilts his head. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not!”

“Well, it’s… You’re both obsessed with each other.”

“We’re not—” Gem frowns. “Why does everyone keep saying that? We’re normal best friends.”

“No offense,” Luke retorts, “But we’ve been friends for months and I can already tell you’re both not normal about each other.”

Gem’s bottom lip juts out. He hugs Luke’s pillow, sulking.

“I mean, it’s not something bad,” Luke clarifies. “It’s clearly mutual and sometimes I even think it’s cute how much you think of him.”

Gem huffs.

“Why are you asking that, though? You’ve been thinking about kissing him?”

“Not telling,” Gem mumbles.

“I’m not teasing,” Luke says, reaching out to poke his leg. “You can talk to me about it.”

Gem bites his lip. Well… maybe it’d help to have another opinion on this.

“Well… yes…” he starts. “I don’t understand why it happened, I’ve never… well, to be honest, I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone before. But when I’m near him, the thought pops in my head all the fucking time, without me controlling it. It’s like it’s buried somewhere inside me and then when I look at Fourth doing something the thought just pops into my head.”

Luke hums. “I see.”

“It’s insane, isn’t it?”

“Well,” Luke mulls over, “I don’t know, maybe you just—crazy thought here, I know—maybe you like him?”

Gem rolls his eyes. “Of course I like Fourth.”

“I meant—” Luke says, “You’re attracted to him. Like-like him. You know, as a boyfriend more than a friend.”

Gem bites his tongue. “…I know what you mean.”

Luke quirks both eyebrows, surprised. “So… you know, wow. Okay. Didn’t expect that.”

“I went through a few phases before realizing it,” Gem admits.

“Well, that’s perfect, then!” Luke claps. “If you now know you want him as boyfriend, why don’t you just ask him?”

“Why don’t I just ask him?” Gem echoes, incredulous. “Because it could ruin everything!”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to try,” Luke shrugs. “I know how much he means to you, but honestly… knowing Fourth, don’t you think you’re making this a bigger deal than it should be? If you ask him, the worst thing that can happen is that he says no.”

Luke shakes his head.

“But I highly doubt it. I bet he’d say yes before you finish the question.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Bro,” Luke sends him another look. “Are you serious? He’s crazy into you. He talks about you all the time. When we’re both alone at the gym, you’re everything he talks about.”

Gem hugs the pillow tighter, hopeful. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Luke nods. “And he’s always saying how cute you are. It’d be annoying, but it’s kinda endearing that you two are exactly the same.”

Luke pokes his leg again.

“I’m serious,” he encourages. “Ask him out and kiss him. End of your suffering. I guarantee you it’ll go well. You’ll thank me later.”

Gem flops back into the bed, sighing.

“I’m serious!” Luke yelps again.

Well… maybe he’s right.

The problem with Luke’s proposal is, well, that it never seems like the right time to ask Fourth out.

He tries and fails, horribly. The first time, Fourth looks at him all confused because he can’t make sense of Gem’s words. The second time, he trips over his feet and Fourth is worried he might have a stroke when he can’t put four words together. The third time, Fourth is squinting at him like he’s suspicious he’s getting sick.

He just gets so nervous he can’t do it. Fourth is way too pretty. He bats his doe-eyes at Gem and Gem bites his own tongue and forgets his own name and what he was supposed to ask him.

Maybe he’s just not made for dating. Maybe he should let things flow, and forget about kissing and cheesy romantic stuff. What him and Fourth have should be enough.

Maybe.

It’s really hot in this place.

Or maybe it’s how many drinks he’s had? He’s not sure.

Either way, he unbuttons the first two buttons of his shirt, feeling suffocated.

He’s at P’Namtan’s birthday party, sitting in one table as he enjoys the food. He doesn’t even have to look around to search for Fourth, as he usually does, because they came together in Fourth’s car and he was sitting there with Gem until he decided he wanted to get up and move. Gem’s eyes have been following him all the time, drink after drink.

He stares at him over his cup of pink wine. He’s wearing a sleeveless tank-top and dancing in the middle of the floor. The dark clothes fit him in all the right places, and he’s rolling his body with the music in a way that’s making Gem’s mouth really fucking dry. And aren’t the blond hair and multiple piercings and killer smile a deadly combo? He looks so good it’s kind of insane. How can anyone be that fucking hot?

Somehow, his eyes find Gem’s across the room. His gaze is sharp, unwavering and somewhat predatory as he smiles—eyes locked with Gem’s as he moves his hips side-to-side, going lower and lower, slowly, and then up again. He presses his hand open on his chest, then moves it down across his abdomen and the firm line of his stomach—deliberate and leisurely, like he has all the time in the world. Gem is sure he’s feeling up his own abs.

Fuck.

Gem swallows. His throat feels like sandpaper.

Fourth tilts his head to the side, pushes back the sweaty hair that falls over his eyes with one hand, and shoots Gem a syrupy grin. He’s fucking gorgeous. The neon pink, purple and blue lights reflect off his skin beautifully; like speckles of diamonds. He’s glowing, as if made of stardust.

Gem has never in his life wanted anything more than just kiss him. He wants Fourth to take him to one dark corner, pull him into a quiet hallway and make out with him until he can’t feel his mouth.

Fuck.

He gulps his drink in one go, then takes another shot of whatever the hell is at his other side.

By the time Fourth comes back, Gem’s mind is hazy. He’s a bit dizzy, but he can still draw out the silhouette of Fourth smiling in front of him.

“Hey, baby,” Fourth says, and Gem giggles.

Baby.

“Yes,” he nods, “I’m your baby.”

Fourth arches both eyebrows, takes the cup dangling from his fingers and drinks it himself.

“Didn’t you have too much to drink?”

Gem shakes his head, pouting. “Don’t… think so.”

Fourth hums. Gem wants him closer, so he lifts up his arms and beckons him with both hands, pouting harder. Usually, pouts work very fast with Fourth.

“Miss you,” Gem whines. “C’mere.”

Fourth chuckles, stepping closer. “Okay, okay. Whatever you want, na teng.”

“That’s— better,” Gem says, hugging Fourth’s stomach when he stands between Gem’s open legs, pressing his cheek to the skin above Fourth’s belly-button. He’s sweaty because of all the dancing, but Gemini could not give less of a fuck. He rests his chin on Fourth’s stomach and looks up at him through his eyelashes. Fourth’s messy hair is so hot.

Fourth is hot.

“You’re pretty, na jaa.”

Is he making a baby voice? Probably. Fourth looks like Gem’s making the baby voice.

“Well, I think you beat me to that, rak.”

Gem bursts out into a fit of giggles. Rak? Did Fourth really just called him love again?

“Do that again,” he pleads, voice breathy and whiny. “Please.”

Fourth looks like something physically pains him. Gem frowns, scrunching up his nose. Is he hurt?

“What do you want me to do, Gem?”

“Call me love again.”

Fourth’s eyes soften. They’re crystal clear, even if Gem’s brain is a mess. He could tell Fourth’s eyes by memory; he could recall them even if he went blind.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Fourth says, sweet. “You’re the love of my life.”

Gem’s stomach feels all kinds of funny. His chest swells with warmth. He wants to record Fourth so he can listen to that every fucking morning.

He bats his eyelashes at him, eyes glossy. “For real?”

“For real.”

Fourth holds his chin and tilts Gem’s head back, makes him look up. For some reason, a sound comes out of his own mouth, unexpected—long and soft, under his breath. Did he just… moan?

Fourth blinks. Gem blinks back. That just… happened.

“Seriously,” Fourth rasps, looking at him with piercing eyes. They’re so intense as he stares at Gem that it’s weird how gentle his voice is. “How much did you drink, hm?”

“Just a few… cups,” Gem lies. Then laughs.

Why is he laughing?

Fourth looks like he’s about to say something else, but then someone speaks behind him.

“Gemini?”

They both look back to see Peem standing there, smiley and sweet.

“Hey!” he says, “Fourth, hello! You look great! I like the new look.”

“Thank you,” Fourth says, but he doesn’t sound all too enthusiastic. Or maybe it’s Gem’s ears, they’re buzzing a bit with the loud music.

“Hi Peem,” Gem says, smiling.

“Gemini!” Peem says, and leans down to pinch his cheek. “God, it’s been so long. You’re as adorable as ever.”

Gem giggles. Peem is nice.

He stands up to hug him—because it’s the polite thing to do when someone is being nice, and Gem really likes hugs. They’re great.

Peem pulls him close when Gem does, and Fourth sits back on Gem’s chair when Gem starts chatting up with Peem.

Maybe it’s because of the alcohol in his system, or because Peem keeps touching his arm and his cheek and patting his head, but Gem keeps giggling at Peem’s stories about his last tour. He’s really, really smiley. And, well, his smile is pretty. Not as pretty as Fourth’s smile, but no smile is as pretty as Fourth’s.

“Do you want more drinks?” Peem asks, leaning over to ask him, lips brushing his ear. It tickles, so Gem laughs again. “I can go for more drinks. Whatever you want.”

“I want one of the shots they have at the blue table,” Fourth says—the first time he’s spoken up in the entire conversation besides the previous ‘thank you’. “Could you get it for me, please?”

Gem looks down at him, confused. At first sight, Fourth’s sweet voice and smile seem genuine—but Gem knows his genuine smile; his authentic sweet voice. He knows them by heart. Could write sonnets about them.

Those are not genuine.

“Um,” Peem says. “Yeah, sure. No problem. Be right back.”

Gem tilts his head when Peem walks away, looks down at Fourth—at the way he’s blinking, over and over again, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

“You ‘kay?” Gem asks, suddenly worried.

Instead of answering his question, Fourth glances up. Eyes him like he’s a fox and Gem is a bunny he’s about to devour.

“Aren’t you tired of standing up?” he asks.

Gem opens his mouth, but before he can answer, Fourth is already wrapping a hand around his waist, pulling him close until Gem’s knees are bumping with Fourth’s thighs. Maybe it’s Gem’s wobbly legs or the way Fourth manhandles him, but Gem is stumbling, flopping down messily on Fourth’s lap the next second.

“Ah,” he blinks, owlishly. “Sorry.”

“’s fine,” Fourth says, voice low and husky.

For some reason, he pulls Gem even closer, one hand firm on his back and the other resting on his knee. His chin is brushing Gem’s shoulder, and his breath is hot and heavy, tickling the side of Gem’s neck.

Gem steadies himself, even if he’s sure Fourth’s iron grip won’t let him fall. He holds on Fourth’s bicep, arm resting across the wide, strong line of his shoulders. It makes a smirk slowly pull up on Fourth’s lips.

He side-eyes Gemini. His smirk is so criminally attractive is making Gemini go stupid.

“Are you comfy, baby?”

What the fuck. Gem’s mind buzzes like loud radio static.

It doesn’t help that Fourth’s left hand brushes down, fingertips tracing the low arc of Gem’s back, resting at the starting curve of his ass. Gem shudders, then nods because he’s worried words will not work if he opens his mouth.

Gem touches the side of Fourth’s neck—fingers feather-light as he skims over the soft skin. Then, he traces his nape, stroking the strands of gold hair, mesmerized. He wants to be here forever.

Fourth’s right hand starts sliding up Gem’s thigh, and Gem shudders again at the contact. It’s intent, lingering, warm and all kinds of hot, and it’s making Gem’s ears ring.

Fourth is not looking back at him. Instead, he’s looking right ahead, across the dancing floor, eyes sharp and mouth pulled-up in a smug, satisfied smile. Gem follows his gaze, curious, landing on a guy who’s standing in the middle of the people, staring right back at them.

Gem squints.

Oh.

Ooh. It’s Peem.

Oh.

Gem giggles as he leans into Fourth, swaying his body closer. Head nestled in the curve of Fourth’s neck, his bubbly chuckles tickle Fourth’s warm skin.

“Oooh,” he purrs, giggly and giddy and stupidly happy. “You’re jealous.”

Fourth hums as a response, hand moving up his leg again.

Gem can feel Fourth’s cocky, winning smile against his shoulder, and he snickers as he kisses the spot behind Fourth’s ear.

“You’re soooo jealous,” Gem teases, giggling again. He doesn’t know why he finds this so funny, but he does.

Yup. Claim me. I’m all yours.

As if reading his mind, Fourth pulls him impossibly closer on his lap, kissing his shoulder. Gem hugs him, one hand on the side of his neck and the other sliding down Fourth’s hip.

He doesn’t know why—maybe it’s because he can feel how hot Fourth’s body is under him; maybe it’s the way Fourth’s thighs feel against his ass; maybe it’s because the way Fourth is touching him is like he’s searing mine, mine, mine into Gem’s skin. Maybe it’s how stupidly hot Fourth is when he’s acting all possessive over him. Maybe it’s all of them.

Maybe it’s just the alcohol in his system, that’s making him bold and shameless and warm and avid to touch and be touched back. Ruining completely his ability to act reasonable.

The thing is—either way, it doesn’t matter why, but Gem starts getting needy.

He starts kissing Fourth’s neck, sucking on the skin of his jaw, then his pulse. He can feel it skyrocket under his mouth, and he feels an exhilarating rush of adrenaline because of it. He’s eager—to touch, to taste. He kisses down, all across Fourth’s shoulder, and bites at soft flesh of Fourth’s bicep, just below his shoulder. Then, he goes up again, peppering the column of his throat in small, featherlight kisses.

He gets so lost into it so quickly that he starts kissing up—up, up, up. Under his jaw, on his chin, at the corner of Fourth’s mouth. God, Fourth’s lips.

Gem stares at them—a tempting miracle. Truly sent from heaven. Gem has never been that religious, but he sure as hell knows Fourth is the answer to all his unsaid prayers.

He leans in—ready, so ready to risk it all for once, when Fourth stops him.

He puts his index finger between them, pushing Gem back gently.

“Gem.”

Gemini pouts. “What?”

“Not when you’re this drunk, baby.”

Gem makes a sound; something broken and demanding, breathy and high-pitched, between a moan and a whine—because of the ‘baby’ or Fourth’s sexy voice or the fact that his hand is still dangerously up Gem’s thigh, or because he wants to be kissed so bad, he doesn’t know.

“Please,” he whispers, cupping Fourth’s face to kiss his jaw, his cheeks, his neck. “Fou—please. Please. Just…”

“Gem—”

“Need you,” he breathes out.

He feels so hot inside—a burning pot, a scorching fire. There’s a type of hunger he didn’t know he could have ever-growing inside his belly, consuming him whole.

“Fot, I need you.” So, so badly. Carnally. Cosmically.

“Fuck,” Fourth says. His hand on Gem’s back is starting to shake. “Gem.”

“Hmm?”

“We need to get you home.”

“Huh?” Gem blurts out, stupidly. He bites softly on Fourth’s neck again. It tastes salty, and Gem gets the sudden urge to lick him whole. “Don’t wanna. ‘m busy.”

“You’re drunk, my sweetheart,” Fourth says, voice gentle, trying to push Gem back. “You need to sleep.”

“I need you,” Gem downright whimpers, pouty when Fourth pulls his hand back from his thigh.

“I—”

“Fot. Touch me!” Gem demands.

“If you keep saying that, we’ll have serious problems,” Fourth says, making an effort to push Gem off him, touch tender and careful. “Let’s go, okay? You need to sleep.”

“Don’t wanna,” he says, clingy.

“I’ll stay with you the whole time,” Fourth says, brushing his bangs off his forehead, soft. “I promise.”

Gem still pouts, but follows him when Fourth holds his hand and guides through the mass of people, back to his parked car outside.

The fresh air helps him sober up a little, and he’s so stupidly embarrassed about how clingy he is he pretends to be asleep the whole ride back to his condo.

Fourth is merciful—as always—and he’s kind enough to not mention it as he opens the door to his own home. He doesn’t bring up either as he helps Gem in everything before tucking them both to bed.

He doesn’t mention it the next morning either, when he’s all smiley, making breakfast for them both when Gem shows up at the kitchen with a pulsing headache.

Still, the memory of Fourth’s body under him, and the way he sounded and tasted, burn glaringly inside his skull, as if tattooed to his brain.

Gem wonders if the traces of every memory he has of that night will ever go away—blurry out as background noise at the back of his head.

(It doesn’t go away.)

The memory haunts him.

It lingers on his brain like some broken record; like a poorly made film.

Gemini can’t stop replaying it in his brain, like a joke.

Now, July is coming to an end, and Gemini is going fucking crazy. It’s hot outside, but Gem feels cold, his palms sweaty as he fiddles with his jeans when Fourth looks around the house.

Sunlight filters through the windows with the curtains open, baths over Fourth’s face like some angelic, cosmic intervention. He looks so breathtaking it hurts.

Is someone up there having a good laugh out of his pining?

“It’s nice,” Fourth says, looking over his shoulder to smile at Gem. “I like it.”

Gemini, like a fool, eyes Fourth’s smile wishfully. His lips are so pink. So, so sweet. He longs and yearns and craves, like an idiot. His longing could easily be seen from Jupiter.

It’s summer, Gemini’s home is quiet, and he can’t stop thinking about kissing Fourth.

“Do you want to see my room?” Gem asks—then adds, blushing, because he realizes how weird it sounds when Fourth quirks an eyebrow at him. “It’s probably the most finished part of the house.”

“Yes, I want to see your room,” Fourth says, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he smiles back at Gem.

Gem gulps, marching up the stairs, trying to ignore the way his heart is doing gymnastics inside his chest. This was a bad idea. A bad, bad idea.

Invite him to your new home, Luke said. Give him a house tour, he said. It’d be fun, he said. You could even kiss, he said.

Well, he’s a liar! Gem needs new friends!

But he’s also a moron for thinking it could ever happen. Didn’t Fourth make it super clear he wouldn’t kiss Gemini at Namtan’s birthday party? Gem was practically throwing himself at him and Fourth rejected him.

“Here it is,” Gem says, opening the door and letting him go inside first.

Fourth hums, giving a quick look around before turning to face him.

“It’s nice,” he says, again.

Gem forces a smile.

“Okay,” Fourth says, slowly, hands on his hips. “I was trying to ignore it in case you wanted to bring it up first, but you’re awfully quiet, so…What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on,” Gem quips, in a heartbeat.

“Gem,” Fourth says, voice gentle. “I know something’s off.”

“Nothing’s off.”

“I know it is. What is it?”

Gem presses his lips, avoids eye-contact.

After long, piercingly quiet seconds, Fourth speaks up again. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I won’t pressure you, but I know something’s wrong. So… I just want you to know that you can talk to me about it when you’re ready. You’ve said how it has helped you, so—”

“Do you ever think about that night?” Gem blurts out, before he can bite it back.

Fourth pauses. A flash of recognition and understanding pops into his eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it came.

“…What night?”

“That night,” Gem says. He knows he doesn’t have to clarify it anymore, but Fourth doesn’t speak. So, painfully, he adds, “P’Namtan’s birthday party.”x

“Oh,” Fourth says, blinking. “That night.”

“Yes, that one.”

Fourth looks at the side, seemingly finding the painting hanging above Gem’s bed particularly interesting.

“Yes,” he says, without looking back at Gem. “I think about it.”

Gem figured out that much. He wishes Fourth could forget it, if that way the tension in the air every time they’re in a room together would go away.

“Do you?” Fourth asks. It sounds small, like he’s afraid of asking.

“Yes,” Gem says. “A lot, actually.”

Fourth worries his bottom lip. Gem wishes it was him biting him instead.

“…Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“What?” Fourth breathes out, frowning as he finally looks back at him again. “No.”

“It seems like it.”

Fourth’s frown deepens. “You didn’t.”

“You sure? Because these last days, it’s—it’s been driving me crazy. I— I can’t stop thinking about it. About how badly I wanted you to just say yes, but you rejected me… You rejected me, and I— I can’t— I mean, it’s okay if you didn’t want to. It’s okay if you rejected me, I just— I’m not trying to attack you, it’s really okay. I just can’t help being upset, because I… because I don’t want you to look at me weird, I don’t want you to get away from me because of this. But I also want you to want me. Because I— I—”

I want you more than anything.

But what can he say, really? He can’t say he wants to kiss him or date him. He can’t say he’s spent countless nights thinking about what it’d be like if they finally took that step. Because, yes, he does— he really does want to kiss him. But Fourth didn’t kiss him back then, when Gem asked him to, when Gem tried to at the party, so he very probably doesn’t want to kiss Gem. And if Gem says it right now, Fourth’ll look at him weird and everything will be over. Fucking! Over! And Gem will hate himself for the rest of his life for making that happen.

Fourth blinks, eyes wide. “Reject you? What do you…?”

Then, as if something clicked inside his brain, Fourth’s eyes start sparkling. Laugh bubbles out of his mouth, like he can’t contain it. Gem tilts his head, confused, because that’s Fourth’s joyful laugh, and why is he happy right now? Not that Gem doesn’t want him to be happy every single minute of his life, but—

“Gem, I— Sorry. I just— wait,” he’s still laughing, bursting at the seams. Then, with the biggest grin on his face, Fourth asks, both eyebrows raised, “Are you— are you trying to say you want to kiss me?”

Gem’s face warms up. He feels like a clueless kid who just go exposed to his crush—although calling Fourth his crush would be a severe understatement.

Fourth looks so… genuinely happy. So sweet and adoring. Although very pleasing, this is confusing.

“…Yes,” Gem mumbles. Because, why lie, at this point? It’s obvious Fourth figured it out. “But you don’t want to.”

Fourth laughs again, like the sole phrase coming out of Gem’s mouth is absurd to him.

“Don’t want to?” he echoes, amused. “Gem, I— sorry, at risk of sounding desperate here, I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life.”

Gem opens his mouth, closes it. Opens it again.

…What?

“But why didn’t you kiss me at the party, then?”

“Because you were drunk!” Fourth says. “You were about to pass out, I didn’t want to…”

He sighs, then moves closer, stepping across the room to close the distance between them. It feels like they’re worlds apart for a second, when Fourth can’t seem to get close enough.

“Do you know how many times I’ve imagined myself kissing you?” Fourth says, eyes softening as he looks at Gem like he’s some kind of miracle. “I didn’t want it if you wouldn’t remember it later. I didn’t want it if I wasn’t sure you were completely sober and aware of it happening.”

Fourth reaches out to tuck strands of hair behind Gem’s ear, smile sweet and lovely and adoring. Gem’s stomach flutters, and there’s a knot tightening in his throat. Aching hope blooms inside his chest, making him feel light and bubbly and up in outer space.

“It wasn’t because I didn’t want you,” Fourth whispers, leaning closer. Like it’s a secret—a world just for them both and no one else. “I want you. I—Gem, I—I’ve wanted you for so, so long.”

Gem’s eyelashes flutter as Fourth holds the side of his face, sweeping his thumb over Gem’s cheekbone with tenderness. He leans into the touch, and Fourth’s smile widens.

“You’re so cute,” Fourth says. “So cute and so pretty. So amazing. How could you ever thought I wouldn’t want you? There’s no part of you that I don’t love.”

“Fot,” Gem breathes out, choked-up in emotion. “Can you kiss me?”

Fourth smiles—bright and adoring and all kinds of sweet. Like he’s been waiting for that question for long enough.

He doesn’t need to be told twice—he’s leaning closer and meeting Gem halfway, cupping his face. The sole contact sends electric sparks running down Gem’s spine. He’s soft and warm in the best way possible, and he fits against Gem like a long-missing puzzle piece. Like he was always supposed to be there, holding Gem, kissing him as gently as eagerly.

He’s all warmth—washing over Gem like a wave; consuming his every thought and the blood rushing through his veins. He’s everywhere—his touch, his scent; his body clashing into Gem’s; his lips the most exquisite thing Gem has ever tasted.

Fuck.

Encouraged by his own desire—going wild and exploding in a myriad of fireworks in his belly—Gem presses closer; wanting. Wanting, wanting, wanting.

This— this is how a kiss is supposed to feel like.

He brushes his fingers against Fourth’s warm ear, uses his other hand to roam around the expanse of Fourth’s willing body. He’s all firm skin and soft muscles, and Gem’s head is spinning with every inch and line of Fourth’s body he gets to have under his fingertips.

Fourth kisses him slow—sucking Gem’s lips with deliberate intent. Experimental but not tentative, like he’s already familiar with it, like he wouldn’t forget the way it feels, but he’s trying to discover and explore every curve and dip he didn’t get to last time. Like he has all the time in the world. Like he wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else.

Then, he moves—back, but holding Gem’s waist to pull him along as he keeps pecking his mouth on his way to Gem’s bed, calling him gorgeous and pretty and beautiful and breathing out his name in between kisses like it’s somehow divine.

They move together, in sync, like they’ve done this a million times before—and maybe they both have, in their heads, so full of want they can’t hold back anymore.

Fourth falls back on the bed, half-sitting as Gem flops down on his lap, lips never breaking apart for more than seconds to breath. Gem holds Fourth’s face, leaning into him, gripping his hair and kissing him everywhere he can reach—the corner of his mouth, his nose, his eyelids, his temple—mapping his entire face with the brush of his lips like he’s full of constellations.

Fourth’s grip on his waist tightens, and he tilts his head to capture Gem’s lips again, avid and greedy. He’s insatiable—kissing Gem open-mouthed, gasping against Gem’s mouth. Licking inside and groaning when Gem sucks his tongue. It’s all familiar—the sweet taste, the searing touch, the delirious sounds—but it’s also new; more intense. The way Gem feels is nothing like before; like his senses are everywhere, messy and needy and so pliant. Longing for more, more, more.

He’s never felt this kind of need before. He’s starving; hungry, hungry, hungry.

Fourth seems like it too, getting sloppy—biting and licking and sucking; spit and smudged lipgloss making a mess of Gemini’s mouth.

Fourth is so enthusiastic and eager in the way he’s kissing him that, for a second, Gem wonders if Fourth wants to devour him. Consume him. Maybe carve a place under his ribs and live there.

For some reason, the sole idea of Fourth wanting him so badly makes him more needy.

He moans his name, broken and breathy, muffled against Fourth’s blistering mouth. “Fot—”

“Yeah, baby?”

Fourth’s fingers dip under his tee, touching sensitive skin, tracing his spine and resting between his shoulder blades. Gem whines, and Fourth flips them over on the bed, Gem flopping back on the pillows with Fourth hovering over him.

Fourth pulls back—to admire him, maybe—his eyes shiny and glossy as he stares at Gem, soft and needy under him.

Gem is likely a mess. He can feel how warm his face is, he’s probably blushing like mad. He can feel how swollen his lips are, and his clothes are a disaster.

It seems like Fourth likes it, judging by the way he keeps staring at him like he’s some kind of masterpiece Fourth just made. He thumbs at Gem’s mouth, tracing the plump, soft skin with reverence, following the movement with his eyes. It makes Gem’s heart flip over and over again.

Gem leaves out a shaky breath, eyeing himself how pretty Fourth is after being kissed. He didn’t have much time to admire him back then, after filming—too embarrassed by his own thoughts and trying to avoid eye-contact in fear of someone else in the room pointing out a feeling crystal clear in his eyes.

But here, in the quiet of his room, he can do just that—look at Fourth without inhibitions. His hair is disheveled, probably from how much Gem had been pulling at it. His lips are so red, full of Gem’s smudged lipgloss. His ever-rosy cheeks are furious pink; and the entire skin of his face is dusting with faint blush. His ears are cherry-red, and a giggle bubbles out of him as he reaches up to rub his fingers on the shell of Fourth’s right ear.

Fourth mirrors his smile, endeared.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’re pretty,” Gem says, grinning. “And I’m happy.”

Fourth shakes his head, like he can’t quite believe Gem is real.

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me,” he says, “I’m not joking.”

Fourth is so sincere and genuine with his words that Gem feels the sting of tears welling up in his eyes. He blinks, once, twice; looks up at him, breathless and emotional, as Fourth hovers over him, with both hands at the sides of Gem’s head.

He can feel the blush already creeping up his neck, flustered but happy all the same. He wraps his arms around Fourth’s neck, tilts up his head to peck his lips.

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me too,” he says, soft. Real.

Fourth chuckles, merry and full of joy. Gem doesn’t think he’s ever seen him this happy before. It’s nice—his sunflower perked-up, following his sun. Fourth is akin to that nickname—looking like sunshine-incarnate, sun-kissed and blossoming after being so loved by the sun.

“You’re so cute,” Fourth says, kissing his cheek. “I love your hair, by the way.”

Gem huffs, embarrassed. He has to admit… putting his bangs down was a pathetic attempt to make Fourth’s heart soft, when he was trying to make this visit to Gem’s house his confessional.

“I was trying to look cute for you,” he mumbles, shyly.

“It worked,” Fourth grins, absolutely delighted. “You’re the cutest person I’ve ever seen in my whole life.”

“You’re terribly biased,” Gemini laughs.

“Nope. You’re the prettiest, it’s just the truth,” Fourth kisses his neck. “My pretty baby.”

Gem breathes out, trying to stay composed—but it’s hard. It’s always hard when Fourth calls him pretty names and mine, and especially when his lips are brushing the hypersensitive skin of Gem’s neck. He makes a small sound, under his breath; like a soft, contained whimper.

He can feel Fourth’s grin against his pulse; elated.

“You like that, teerak?” he says, kissing the line up his neck. “Like hearing how pretty you are?”

Gemini arches into the touch, fingers sinking on the back of Fourth’s head.

“Because you’re gorgeous,” Fourth keeps mumbling, sucking harder under his jaw. “Definitely the prettiest person in the world.”

“Fou—”

“I can’t believe how lucky I am that you’re mine.”

Gem is delirious; drowning in want as he nods, pulling Fourth closer, wanting to melt into him. He notices how warm his thighs are, bracketing Gem’s hips. His stomach is feeling funny again.

“Yes, yours,” he drawls, “I’m all yours.”

Fourth groans, like hearing him say it has an effect on him.

Then, he starts kissing every centimeter of Gemini’s face—peppering his skin with small, slow kisses as he keeps mumbling “Mine. Mine, mine. All mine,” between every single one.

Gem giggles; bubbly and giddy. The happiest he’s ever been.

Fourth pulls back to look at him again, grinning as he watches Gem laugh.

“You know,” he says, voice dangerously low. “I’m going to have so much fun now that I know you want this too.”

A chuckle blurts out of Gem’s mouth. “Why does that sound like a threat?”

Fourth’s grin is the most beautiful thing Gem has ever seen.

“Maybe it is.”

Gem smiles back, excitement bubbling up in his belly.

Well… for once, Gemini is happy to find out on the way. After all, Fourth loves him.

Nothing else matters more.

[+ Bonus]:

“Did you know our fans call us the ‘thai TomDaya’?”

“Yeah. Because you laugh at everything I say or do, my pretty girl,” Fourth smirks, smug. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Gem splutters, blushing—at the syrupy, coquettish nickname, the cocky tone of Fourth’s voice, or the brazen, kitty grin, he’s not sure. Maybe at every single thing.

“Among other things,” Gem huffs, voice high-pitched.

Fourth’s smirk widens, naughty. Gem is pretty confident that the fact that he ignored making a comment about the ‘pretty girl’ nickname is gonna bite him in the ass later, because Fourth is probably planning to use it a lot in the future if he gets this reaction out of Gem.

 “Sure.”

“Any-way,” Gem coughs, pointedly ignoring how badly he wants to kiss Fourth’s grin. “I was gonna say… you know… talking about TomDaya…”

“Yes?”

“It’d be fun, like, uh. To watch the new Spiderman film… don’t you think?”

Fourth blinks.

“I know it’s hard with us being so popular— because, we— like, we can’t go without bringing attention. But it’d be fun, don’t you think so?” he repeats, nervous. “People always say it’s more fun to watch it with someone else and you like Spiderman.”

Fourth quirks both eyebrows.

“We both like Spiderman,” Gem hurries to say. “I mean, who doesn’t like Spiderman. Right?”

Fourth nods, worrying his lip. It kinda looks like he’s trying to hold back his laugh.

“And it’d be fun to disguise ourselves to go,” Gem babbles on, fidgeting with the hem of his tee. “Or, like… we could rent the whole theater,” he pauses, panicking. “Yeah, that’d be better! I could do it. I could totally do it. I have money. I mean, you have money too, but I want to do it. Not like you wouldn’t offer to do it, but I want to. You know? Or—”

“Gem,” Fourth cuts him off, interrupting his rambling.

“Yes. Kub?” he says, tiny. Small. Embarrassed. Like a moron.

Fourth’s grin is so wide that he’s starting to look like the Cheshire cat. “Are you… Are you trying to ask me out right now?”

Gem winces.

“Maybe…?” he says, fingers gripping at the hem of his tee. “Yes.”

“I—”

“I know!” Gem blurts out, “I know going to the movies is a boring first date, I just— going out for dinner sounded unoriginal too, and I’m not sure what could we do outside in privacy? And going to the gym or staying at each other’s home is something we already do a lot, so it didn’t feel special enough either, and—”

“Yes.”

Gem blinks. He opens his mouth, closes it, repeats the motion again. “…Huh?”

“Yes, I’ll go out with you, nhoo,” Fourth breathes out. A giggle is bubbling out of his throat in between, like he’s so happy he can’t contain it. “Going to the movies is fine. Whatever is fine to me. I’m just really happy you asked.”

Gem perks up, sparks of joy going off in his chest like tiny fireworks. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Fourth says, bursts of laughter still coming out of his mouth in waves. “You could’ve asked me to sleep together on the couch as a date and I would’ve said yes.”

He steps closer, smiling so sweetly the love is oozing out of his pores.

“But,” he says, holding Gem’s waist. “It’s so sweet that you apparently thought so much about it.”

“I was going insane over it,” Gem groans.

“Aww,” Fourth coos, smile ever-present. “You’re so cute, my baby.”

“I just wanted it to feel special,” Gem says, resting his forehead on Fourth’s shoulder. “You deserve special things.”

He kisses Fourth’s neck—once, twice. Three times, four. Four. Their special number. They’re small pecks—peppered kisses in golden-rose skin.

“You deserve the best things,” Gem says, looking up at him.

Fourth is looking back at him already, with so much tender, all-consuming love in his gaze that it takes the air of Gem’s lungs.

“Always trying to please me, aren’t you?” Fourth says, voice low and velvety—teasing but soft; playful but gentle and all kinds of sweet. “It’s okay. I’m really happy to just spend time with you, Gem. I promise it’s special to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I promise you, the time we spend together any way we can is the best time for me.”

Gem smiles. Then, he holds Fourth’s face between his hands, cupping his jaw and leans in for a kiss—small, a soft press of lips. Another one, and another. He’s pecking Fourth’s lips so many times he loses count.

“I—” he says, after a kiss, “—love—” another kiss, the word muffled against Fourth’s smiling mouth, “—you.”

Fourth is giggling against his mouth. It’s the sweetest thing Gem has ever tasted.

“I love you too.”

Gem shakes his head, kissing the corner of Fourth’s mouth, then his nose, then his mouth again. “Me more!”

Fourth laughs. He thinks he’s calling his name as Gem presses closer and kisses him deeper. He thinks he might be calling him saccharine names and giggling for the following hour. He thinks his lips might be swollen later, but he doesn’t care.

He loves Fourth Nattawat more than anything; and he’s pretty sure that, as the sunflower loves the sun back, as much as the sun loves the sunflower, Fourth loves him too. And nothing will ever change that.