Chapter Text
It was very rare that I got to wake up alongside Kris; *with* Kris. I loved not spending the night in the birdcage.
I would have gladly shivered against the cold metal bars all night if it meant Kris could wake up peacefully, but it was not to be.
We awoke to Toriel knocking at the door. Kris’ eyes fluttered open at the sound of her voice.
“Kris, honey? Are you awake?”
Kris groaned, propping themself up on their elbow and rubbing sleep from their eyes. They grunted loud enough for Toriel to hear through the door, then realized the door was open. Their mother’s snout peeked through the open crack.
The way Kris’ heart fluttered at the sight told me something was wrong with this picture. Neither Kris nor I had time to ponder as Toriel continued.
“Are you decent? May I come in?” The concern in her voice was obvious.
“Uh... yes?” Kris fully sat up, swinging their legs over the edge of the bed as a tiny burst of adrenaline finished waking them up.
Toriel swung the door open. She still wore her comfy nightgown, but her eyes were full of concern as she slowly approached Kris’ bed. “Good morning, honey... I have good news, and I have bad news.”
“...Mom?” Kris asked, their voice tense as they sensed Toriel’s hesitation. She tried to flash a smile as she sat down next to Kris, but it rang utterly hollow. Even I knew that the schoolteacher could not hide her emotions to save her life. “What happened?”
Taking Kris’ hand in hers, Toriel took a deep breath before answering. “The good news is that there is no class today.” She squeezed Kris’ hand and met their eyes. “The bad news is... Rudy is not going to make it, Kris.”
Oh, shit.
Kris’ eyes unfocused as their head fell. They stared at the floor, and their heart began pounding in their chest.
Toriel clasped her other hand over Kris’. “Mayor Holiday did not give many details. She only said that you and I were welcome to visit Rudy at her house later today.”
Kris did not react for several seconds. Not even their eyes moved.
“How long?” Kris asked the floor.
Toriel sighed. “I do not know, dear. I only know that the hospital allowed him to go home. I would assume that means... not long.”
Kris nodded robotically. They were as frozen internally as externally; their eyes tended to dart around when they were deep in thought, but now they stared resolutely at a particular patch of nothing in the carpet.
“Let me know what I can do for you, my child.”
Kris slumped into her shoulder. Toriel let go of Kris’ hand, wrapping her arms around them and holding them tight.
Kris just stared. The room was almost silent, but that made every breath Kris drew loud. After some time, they slowly clutched their mother’s arms, pressing the two closer together.
“Gotta tell Susie...” Kris mumbled.
“Mmm,” Toriel said. “She is welcome over, of course.”
Kris nodded, and I realized they were numb. Be it from shock, or if they had sealed their emotions away too quickly for me to notice, I could not tell.
As they stood up, they moved as if in a trance. Toriel clung to them, and did not let them go until Kris dragged their feet over to their shoes.
“...What are you doing, Kris?”
Kris slipped the first shoe on while mumbling, “Gotta tell Susie.”
“I am sure her parents will, dear.” Toriel stood as Kris slipped the second shoe on.
Kris did not look at her as they opened their drawer and pulled a fresh striped sweater out.
“Kris?” The concern in her voice had redoubled, and sounded a step closer.
“No phone,” Kris muttered. Fabric further muffled their voice as they deftly took one sweater off and put the other on. “What time is it?” They groped for the phone in their pocket, pausing only when Toriel’s paw grasped their shoulder. They turned, finding a mix of sadness and confusion on their mother’s face.
“Kris, dear. Please sit with me,” She sat back down on the bed, and Kris mirrored her. “What do you mean, ‘no phone’?”
Without breaking eye contact, Kris fished their phone out of their pocket, holding it up as they spoke. “Susie doesn’t... have one.” They shook the phone for emphasis, glancing at it as they continued. “Need to tell her...”
Kris’ eyes found the time - and the two notification symbols on the screen. One was for a missed call, and the other indicated a new voicemail. They stared just a bit too long at the screen, feeling their throat tighten as the tiny symbols seemed to reach out and stifle any further words.
Toriel sighed again. “I see...”
Kris tore their eyes away from the phone. Their hand clutched it tight as they looked back at their mother, who was staring pensively across the room. As Kris waited for Toriel, a fresh wave of anxiety flowed through them. I would have found it funny, how an act as benign as receiving a message could instill such worry, if I didn’t suspect *who* the message was from.
“Kris...” Toriel began. Her words came out slowly, as if she were choosing them carefully. “I am sorry to wake you like this. I know it is... a lot. Especially so early.” She looked down at Kris, and her arm gently rested across Kris’ back. “I did not want you to find out from someone else, and think I was hiding this from you.” Kris nodded, then shrugged. Toriel seemed to understand, and a light smile graced her features. “You wish to tell Susie in-person about this?” Kris nodded again. “Okay. Then allow me to drive you to her house. I replaced the van’s tires yesterday.”
Kris’ brows knitted again. “I... It’s fine. I can walk.”
“I know, dear,” Toriel smiled a little wider, but it drained from her face as she talked. “However, I feel I owe Susie an apology. And I owe you one, as well. I should not have gotten so... carried away, when Mr. Sans came over Saturday night. Frankly, I am embarrassed you saw me in such a state. I am sorry.”
Kris looked away, their eyes screwing shut and their jaw lightly clenching. A long exhale escaped their nose as they spoke through their teeth. “It’s fine, Mom.”
There was a short pause before Toriel spoke again. “Even so, I am still sorry, Kris.”
Kris shook their head again, leaning into their mother’s shoulder and giving her half a hug. Toriel responded in kind, wrapping Kris in her arms again.
The two stayed like this for a long, silent moment. Internally, Kris’ anxiety ebbed at Toriel’s touch, but did not fully wash away. Still, I was glad they had some source of comfort, however small.
“May I drive you over, dear?” Toriel asked softly. From her tone, I suspected she genuinely was asking for permission. Kris slowly nodded, feeling Toriel’s soft fur and satin nightgown rub against their cheek. “Thank you.” She squeezed Kris tight. Kris let their eyes close, pressing further into their mother’s embrace.
There was another silent, albeit slightly more comfortable, pause. Toriel moved to stand up, speaking as she did.
“I will get dressed, and meet you in the car. We have plenty of time, so no rush, honey.”
Kris nodded, not letting their hand fall away from Toriel’s arm as she took a step back. The two looked into each other’s eyes for a moment - Toriel smiled, while Kris’ eyes darted between hers. As Toriel turned and walked back to the door, Kris watched her leave.
“Mom?”
Halfway across the room, Toriel stopped and turned. “Yes, Kris?”
It took Kris a second to stand up. Their face scrunched for a brief moment before they swiftly crossed the room and hugged their mom tightly.
“I love you.”
Toriel sighed, and I could picture her smile as she hugged Kris back. “I love you very much, Kris.”
It was Kris’ turn to sigh. They stepped back, looking up at Toriel and giving the most genuine smile they could give her, no matter how small it was. Toriel smiled back.
“I’ll meet you in the car,” she said, patiently.
Kris nodded, and Toriel left the room, swinging the door closed behind her.
As soon as it clicked shut, Kris’ entire body sagged. Their breathing quickened and became heavy as they absentmindedly stumbled back to their bed, and they did not so much sit on it as fall onto it. Their head fell into their hands, eyes wide as they stared down at their lap. They did not move for several seconds.
(Can I help, Kris?)
Kris did not react. Labored breaths continued to fill the silence. Their heart pounded. Very, very slowly, their hand reached for their phone again. They brought it into their lap, staring down at the notifications that fanned the flames of worry inside them. Their other hand formed a claw, and it pointed at their chest.
At me.
I braced, but nothing happened. Kris just looked at their phone. They just breathed, and waited for something.
With a small start, I realized *something* was *me*.
(...I know who that is.)
Kris did not react.
(Kris... I don’t like this, but I... I’ll trust you.)
Finally, Kris sighed. They nodded as their eyes closed, and with a deep breath, they removed me from themself. It was not particularly painful, but as my form touched the open air, Kris gasped quietly.
“Thank you,” they breathed.
We stared at each other for a moment as they held me. Crimson eyes regarded my faintly-glowing form. The thrum of their heartbeat through their palm kept me warm as they stood, walking over to the cage. *My* cage.
They did not thrust me inside, nor slam and lock the door behind me; as they crouched down in front of the cage, they simply released me. I floated there for a moment, hoping they understood my gratitude at the treatment. As if somehow hearing me, they nodded.
I entered the cage. The door was shut behind me, but the latch was not locked.
It was difficult to perceive the world around me without a body, but I sensed Kris stand and walk away. They shambled over to the window, leaning against it as the phone was brought up to their ear. Those crimson eyes never looked away from me.
The message was short, but the pause after it was received was very long, indeed. The phone fell away from their ear, hanging by their side from a limp arm. Kris stared at me. I did not count the seconds, but there were quite a lot of them passing in this quiet, unmoving moment.
Finally remembering they were not petrified, Kris moved. They turned around, opened their window wide, and climbed through it.
God. Fucking. Damnit. Kris.
The window closed. I could barely see Kris on the other side of the pane. They may have been looking at me, but it was hard to tell. Either way, they remained just outside, and I could not hear a peep of what was happening.
This is what trust looked like, I guess. I was just so worried. A kid should not have to do all this.
What was Carol doing? The Mayor obviously had something to do with this, but... what? What could necessitate forcing a depressed teenager’s cooperation?
The gaps of the cage did not let my frustration leak out, so I stewed in it. I could leave, sure, but that would only strain the tense truce I had worked so hard for.
“Trust me,” Kris had said: A simple request that every single decision I made from here on out hinged on; a request that got harder to honor with almost every action they took. Everyone had their limit, and I had a feeling Kris was going to push me to find mine.
I guess I could either do something about it, or shut up and trust them.
I chose the latter.
I waited.
It was only a minute or two before the window opened once more. Kris slid deftly back inside the house, closing the window behind them. As they approached me, they wiped something away from their cheek.
The cage door opened, and their hand grasped me. The cold stillness of iron bars gave way to living warmth.
Even though they had just woken up, they looked exhausted.
More than that, they looked broken.
“Don’t...” they whispered, looking down at me with utterly pained eyes. “...Please don’t ask me. You know I can’t.”
A few seconds passed in silence. Even if I could have spoken, I wouldn’t have had anything to say. I wasn’t even with them yet, but their pain hurt me to see.
They brought me up to their chest, and after a moment, we were whole again.
I did not ask them. God knows I wanted to, but as we were rejoined, all of the pain written plainly on their face came crashing into me.
Fuck, this hurt. *Kris* hurt.
The only question on my mind was why Kris had to suffer through this, yet that was what they forbade me from asking.
They walked out of their room on numb legs. They descended the stairs without seeing anything. They entered the bathroom and brushed their teeth, not out of a sense of hygiene, but purely from unfocused routine.
They checked their pockets, stepped outside, and locked the front door. They sat in the passenger seat of the van, gave Toriel a smile they couldn’t even pretend to make genuine, and buckled themself in.
Even with their mother right next to them, driving them to see their best friend, Kris felt alone in the world.
_________
Toriel parked across the street from Susie’s apartment. She turned the van off, letting the keys rest on the dash. She and Kris waited in silence.
The drive over had also been silent. I suspected Kris was rather thankful for that. They had spent the short drive checking their phone over and over, and I knew it was not because they kept forgetting what time it was. They had remembered to text Noelle halfway to Susie’s apartment, at least.
Speaking of time, if Susie planned on being at school on time, she should be walking out any minute.
“Kris?” Toriel’s voice tore Kris’ eyes away from the door of the apartments and towards her. Toriel looked hesitant, but after a short moment, she asked, “Do you want to visit Rudy today?”
Kris gave a hollow nod. I didn’t know if they truly wanted to or not, but in situations like these, it was best to take every opportunity available to spend time with each other.
Toriel nodded back with sadness in her eyes. Although a family visit with long-time friends sounded like a joyous occasion on paper, reality begged to differ.
“Let us plan for this afternoon, then. I have some phone calls to make, and I am sure you and Susie would like the morning to process... everything.”
Another empty nod from Kris. They turned back to watch the apartment door, letting their head bonk against the window. Not even a second later, they nearly pulled a muscle in their neck as a bolt of adrenaline shot through them and whipped their head back towards their mother.
“Asriel!” Kris breathed.
“Yes, Kris,” Toriel nodded, reaching over the center console to lay her paw on Kris’ arm. “He is the first person I plan to call.”
A kaleidoscope of emotions danced inside Kris. I could imagine it rather clearly: Excitement at seeing Asriel again marred by horrid circumstances for the reunion; grief of losing a close family friend offset by their own family becoming slightly more whole for the moment; the chance to spend time with loved ones fractured by the fear of... *whatever* Kris and Carol were planning.
Kris grappled with all of this for several seconds before answering, and for hours afterwards.
“Do you think... will he...?”
“I think he will make it in time, yes. He is not *that* far, after all.” Toriel’s lips pursed as she sighed. It seemed as if she were about to keep talking, but thought better of it.
Silence returned for the moment. Externally, Kris looked past their mother at nothing. Internally, Kris’ emotions roiled over a thorn of guilt that would not wither away. It filled their ears with static. It made their face numb.
Despite the quiet chaos, a small comment from Toriel wiped everything from Kris’ mind.
“Oh, there she is.”
Kris accidentally headbutted the window as they whipped their head back around to the apartments. Susie, wearing her usual jacket and jeans, her hair somewhat brushed and untangled today, was pulling the door behind her shut with her foot.
The passenger-side door was flung wide, and left open. Toriel lightly beeped the horn a couple times as Kris powerwalked over to Susie, whose eyes had turned towards the sudden noise. In the space of a second, she looked surprised, then happy, then worried as Kris approached. She had barely stepped onto the sidewalk as she tried to greet her friend.
“Hey, Kris... what’s u-” Susie stopped talking as Kris walked straight into her, throwing their arms around her.
Normally, Kris would have climbed above their emotions to gaze numbly at the horizon, unimpeded by such base concepts as “grief” or “fear”. Right now, they were fucking terrified.
They squeezed Susie tightly as their face screwed up and tears started falling.
“Uhhh...” Susie’s chest rumbled, and her hands found Kris’ back after a second. “What’s going on?”
Despite the sudden concern that flooded her question, Kris could not answer just yet. They sobbed once, twice into her white tank top, gripping the fabric of her jacket in their fists.
“Kris? You’re scaring me...” Susie gently peeled Kris off of her, sitting down on the steps behind her. As she looked at Kris with fear-clouded eyes, she made sure her hands never let go of them.
Another sob wracked Kris. At Susie’s silent request, they sat next to her, burying their face in her shoulder as they cried. They tried to choke the words out, but they just couldn’t. Every second they didn’t tell Susie what was going on was another second she had to spend imagining. As we all know, imaginations are often far worse than reality.
Susie just held them. I could picture the fear on her face, could almost feel her heart pounding with thoughts of an utter nightmare.
Kris tried to speak again, but could not.
(Want me to...?)
Kris shook their head against Susie’s shoulder. The denim of her sleeve was coarse against their skin. They slowly pulled themself away from her, but kept their shoulder touching Susie’s as they tried to take deep breaths. They forced themself to look Susie in the eye; even though she was obviously scared, there was a patience reserved solely for Kris shining within her. This more than anything was what Kris needed to pull themself together.
It still took some time, but Kris eventually coughed the words out: “...Rudy’s dying.”
Everything about Susie visibly fell; her expression, her shoulders, her posture. Even her eyes unfocused as they found the cement below her feet.
“Oh, fuck.” She leaned back into Kris, pulling them tight to her chest and accidentally wrapping them in her jacket. Kris did not mind; their tears kept falling, but when their words had finally been spoken aloud, some pain floated into the wind with them.
Susie’s words were a little muted by her jacket, but Kris heard them all the same.
“That’s why yesterday Noelle wasn’t at school... and the hospital wouldn’t let us visit...”
Kris didn’t respond, nor did they need to. The same jacket that muffled Susie’s words amplified the crying human’s sniffles. For a short time, that was all Kris could hear.
Eventually, Susie leaned away again. She looked at Kris, then at Toriel’s van, then back at Kris and asked, voice wavering slightly, “Did you... really drive here just to tell me?” Kris nodded, and she nudged Kris’ shoulder softly. “That’s really nice of you, y’know.”
Kris had nothing to say to this. They just sniffled and forced a smile.
After a pause, Susie asked, “So... what do we do? Can you text Noelle?”
“Already did,” Kris replied flatly, sighing and shrugging as they did. “No response yet. Other than that... Visit Rudy.”
“...You going after class?”
Kris shook their head. “School’s cancelled.” When Susie cocked her head and knitted her brows, Kris continued. “Carol’s done it before... for dumber reasons.”
Susie blinked the confusion away a couple times. “Wow. That bitch really *does* run this town, huh?” The question was rhetorical, but Kris nodded all the same. Susie seemed to rethink her statement, mumbling, “...Guess I shouldn’t call Noelle’s mom a bitch.”
Kris chuckled. “No, she’s a bitch.” A tiny, yet genuine smile crept onto Kris’ lips when they heard Susie laugh. “Not a bad person... just... well. A bitch.” Susie nudged them again. When Kris looked up at her, she wore a similar smile to their own as she looked out across the road.
A few seconds of silence passed between friends, and both of them enjoyed the time together.
Kris waited until Susie looked back at them to speak. “Mom and I... we’re visiting Rudy later. You should come.”
Susie’s smile vanished, and it took her a moment to reply. “At the hospital?”
“No. Noelle’s house.”
Now Susie actually frowned. “I mean... We just established that her mom’s a bitch. Who hates me. I dunno if...”
Kris took her hand and squeezed gently. “Not her decision anymore. Now it’s Rudy’s.” They smiled at her. “He likes you.”
Susie thought about this for a long moment, her expressions shifting several times. “You going now?”
“Later. This afternoon. Dunno what time yet.”
The dragon nodded pensively. Another long pause, more rapid expressions, then the answer Kris had desperately wished for: “Okay. As long as you’re there... I guess it’ll be okay.”
Kris smiled again, giving her another tight hug, and Susie returned it. Neither said anything else for a time. Some sniffles were heard, and a few more stray tears were removed from their cheeks, but until Susie pointed out Toriel, neither said anything.
“So, uh... Is your mom, like, guarding us? Or something?”
Kris snapped out of their vague, anxious haze. “Oh. She actually... wanted to talk... to you. Nothing bad!” They added, seeing Susie’s concern at the implication. The poor girl must have assumed she was in trouble for... something. “Promise, nothing bad.”
Susie sighed. She forced a cheery smile and waved toward the van, and Kris followed her gaze to find Toriel waving back. I couldn’t help but notice how stiff Susie suddenly got, and I guess Kris did, too.
“You don’t have to,” Kris offered. “She’d understand.”
Susie paused for several seconds, and her fake cheeriness was swept away in the light, chilly breeze. “Did she say what about?”
Kris shrugged. “An apology.”
“Ugh... About Saturday night? She knows I’m not, like... mad at her, or anything. Right?”
Kris shrugged again, raising their palms defensively. “You could... tell her that.”
Another, much deeper sigh from Susie. She scanned the cracks of the cement for several seconds. Glancing at Kris, it looked as if she had begrudgingly made up her mind.
“...Alright. I guess.” She stood, but did not move until Kris gave a reassuring smile. Steeling herself, Susie forced another smile, happily waving at Toriel as she approached the van.
Kris watched her go. Toriel exited the car with her purse slung over her shoulder. Walking around to the side facing Kris, she called out a friendly greeting to Susie. Sliding the side door of the van open, Toriel sat on the step up as Susie reached her. Kris watched Toriel’s mouth move as she looked up at Susie, and the human’s eyes slowly wandered between their mother’s face and the back of Susie’s head. Though their words did not reach Kris’ ears, their movements and expressions painted a vivid picture.
Toriel held her palm out to Susie, who placed her clawed hand on top as she scratched the back of her head. Some more words were exchanged. Susie visibly relaxed, letting her head fall forward. Toriel smiled. She clasped her other hand over Susie’s, shaking it so gently I could barely tell if they had moved at all. Toriel leaned forward slightly, her warm smile shifting to a playful grin as she spoke. She opened her purse, rummaging through it for a second before placing something in Susie’s hand.
Susie examined the object as Toriel spoke further, her head nodding towards Kris as she did. Susie turned to briefly lock eyes with Kris, who smiled in response. Toriel held something else out to Susie, motioning for Susie to lean in before handing it to the dragon. As hushed words were exchanged, Susie shook her head a few times, holding up a hand and talking a quarter-step backwards, but Toriel’s smile never wavered. After a few more seconds of hushed words, Susie’s shoulders slumped. Her head fell forward again, and she pocketed the second object.
A few more seconds of nothing happened. Susie started to take a step forward, and her arms tried to reach for Toriel, but she stopped herself. Only now did Toriel stand. Her kind smile and opened arms told Susie something, and Susie almost leaped into a hug. Toriel embraced her tight, letting her eyes close.
Kris genuinely smiled. Even though they were not the one being hugged, some small fragment of Kris’ worries melted away regardless.
Toriel let Susie decide when the hug was over. As the seconds stretched on, Kris’ smile grew. When Susie finally stepped away, her hand rose to her face for a moment. Toriel placed a kind paw on the girl’s shoulder, giving some final words before nodding back towards Kris.
Susie nodded, though it was another second before she turned around. As she faced Kris once more, looking at the ground as she walked, her tears were obvious.
Toriel waved at Kris to grab their attention. She held her hand to the side of her head in a “call me” sign, then pantomined eating. Kris nodded, understanding instantly, though it took me a few seconds to parse the message: “Call me after you eat.” Toriel blew a kiss to Kris, and Kris waved goodbye, flashing the “I love you” sign before turning their attention back to Susie.
The dragon sat down heavily next to Kris. She wiped her tears aside, sniffling quietly. It wasn’t until Toriel drove away a few moments later that she spoke in hushed tones.
“Your mom’s... really fucking nice, Kris.”
Kris nodded, leaning their shoulder into Susie’s. “You okay?”
Susie nodded slowly, addressing the ground. “Yeah. She... she said ‘sorry’ for being so drunk, told me I didn’t have to worry about seeing her like that again... Told me to come over whenever I wanted, even if you’re not there... She said to...” Her eyes screwed shut for a second, and her voice strained as she continued, “Said... ‘consider yourself family’.” Susie breathed the last word, and another tear fell as she did.
Kris let their head rest on her shoulder. They wrapped her arm in both of theirs. They said, “You are.”
Susie choked back her sob. The arm not held by Kris came up to her forehead, and her tears fell freely, staining the cement below.
A light breeze passed the teens by. A couple birds called out from the trees. Susie sniffled. Kris watched her.
“Ah, fuck,” she laughed, turning away from Kris and wiping her tears again. “You emotional losers are getting to me, haha.”
Kris smiled at her, not caring that she wasn’t looking. The more they watched her, the better they felt.
Something about Susie’s smile could wash any darkness away.
Sighing, Susie slowly stood up, giving Kris time to mirror her. “Alright, time to do my job.” Kris cocked their head. “Toriel knows you’re a trouble-maker, so she told me to keep you busy with breakfast.” She pulled out the $20 bill she had stuffed into her pocket. “I tried to say ‘no’, but she insisted. Said you’d probably light fireworks behind the church if I didn’t keep an eye on you.” She nudged Kris, who smiled and rolled their eyes as they both turned to walk into the town proper.
They walked side by side for a few silent moments before Susie remembered something, fishing in her pocket without slowing down. “Oh. And she gave me this?” Susie held out a small, black rectangle with an LCD screen at the top, and a tiny qwerty keyboard across the center and bottom. The sight lit a small spark inside Kris’ eyes. “Called it a ‘pager’? Said you’d know what to do with it.” She passed it to Kris as they held their hand out for it.
“Yeah, it’s like... a phone, but only... only for texts.” Kris turned it on, flicking through the menu to find its number while they pulled their cell phone out. They keyed the number into their own phone, handing the pager back to Susie as they typed a simple message and hit ‘send’.
Nothing happened for a second.
Then: *Ding~!*
Susie looked at the tiny screen as the backlight kicked on, then stopped dead in her tracks. Kris stopped as well, studying Susie’s expressions carefully. She stared at the screen for a moment, then looked at Kris. She looked back at the screen, at Kris, at the screen. Finally, she turned the pager toward them, pointing at the screen.
It read, “Kris: hi”
“That’s you?” She asked incredulously. Kris nodded, smiling at her. She flipped the pager back towards her, staring at the screen again. “...You said ‘hi’ to me.” Kris nodded again, slower this time. As they watched tears reform in her eyes, they sighed happily.
“You can say it back,” they told her. The wonder in her eyes grew even brighter.
“I can?!” She thrust the pager at them giddily. “Show me!”
Chuckling quietly, Kris showed her how to navigate the menus. The only two contacts listed were themself and Toriel, and Kris selected themself. They taught her how to type a message, and a moment later, Kris’ cell phone vibrated. They showed Susie the message she had sent them: “nerd”.
As her eyes darted between the pager and Kris’ phone, Susie gave up trying to stop her tears. Kris watched them leave dark trails down her cheeks. For a single, quiet moment, they just felt happy.
“Fuck, dude,” Susie laugh-cried, “I’m gonna spend the whole day crying at this rate.” She smiled so, *so* warmly at Kris, and Kris smiled back. They hugged, and Kris did not care when a tear fell onto their head.
As they broke the hug, the two friends continued towards QC’s Diner. Kris talked Susie through texting abbreviations, explaining how the pager could only send and receive short messages. By the time the door to the diner was pushed open, Kris’ phone had vibrated about a dozen more times. Kris read every message with a smile.
QC greeted Kris and Susie warmly, offering them any open table. A few other patrons were seated around, most notably the Cattenheimers. Susie made sure not to look in Catti’s direction, sitting so her back faced the rambunctious family. She busied herself with the pager instead.
“I gotta tell Toriel ‘thanks’. What was it, ‘T-Y-S-M’? How do I add exclamation marks?”
Kris nodded, pointing out the punctuation symbols. “Don’t, uh... I don’t mind, but... don’t blow her phone up.”
Susie nodded. “I gotcha. No harassing adults, just weirdos like you.” She stuck her tongue out, and Kris threw a balled-up napkin at her.
Pancakes, eggs, and bacon were ordered and eaten. Their breakfast passed mostly in comfortable silence, not counting the raucous feline noises from the other side of the diner. At Kris’ insistence, seconds were ordered. Twenty dollars was more than enough to make sure Susie could eat until she was full.
Halfway through their second course, the pager beeped again, and Susie proudly displayed Toriel’s reply to Kris.
“Toriel: YW, Snoozie <3”
“What’s ‘less than three’ mean?” Susie mumbled through a mouthful of waffles.
“A heart,” Kris replied. They were full after their first plate, but had been watching Susie eat with a soft smile. “Less-than sign... and a three. Looks like a heart.”
Susie’s brows furrowed. She did not question this further, just ate a bit slower as she thought to herself. She was silent until her plate was clear.
“I gotta pay her back somehow,” she sighed.
“You do not,” Kris stated matter-of-factly.
Susie looked at Kris like they were dumb. “Of course I do. This is the second time she’s bought me food, *and* she basically gave me a phone.”
Kris just smirked, shaking their head. They were silent for a moment, their eyes wandering out the window for a few moments. They started addressing the air in front of them, making eye contact with Susie halfway through their words.
“What do *I* owe *you*?”
The question caught Susie off-guard. “What do you mean?”
“You hang out with me. Comfort me when... when I cry. Make me laugh. What do I owe you?”
The absurdity of the question made Susie scoff. “The fuck are you talking about? You’re my friend, dumbass. You don’t *owe* me for that.”
Kris shrugged. “And you’re family.”
Susie just stared at Kris. Their words bounced around her head for a long time, and her eyes jumped between theirs all the while. She pushed the plates aside, folding her arms on the table and resting her chin on top. “Look, I get it.” She stared at the tabletop. “I get what you’re saying. But this isn’t... I can’t just take and take, y’know? I really appreciate all this - really, I do - but...” She trailed off, looking out the window and thinking.
Kris thought for a long moment. They were slightly frustrated, but not in a pissy way; the way you get frustrated with a friend who doesn’t understand her own worth.
“Bake a pie with her.” They waited until Susie looked at them to continue. “Help her garden. Tell stupid jokes. Mom... She’ll never take your money. Never. But she likes you.” Kris shrugged. “Just be her friend.”
Susie pondered this for a long time. The lioness waitress dropped the check off at the table. The dragon opened it, sighed with relief, then placed Toriel’s money inside. After the check was collected and change refused, Susie replied.
“Is this what real people are like?” The words were whispered to the table.
Kris cocked an eyebrow. “‘Real people’?”
Susie nodded. “Like you. And Toriel, and Noelle... I mean, god forbid *my* mom ever gave me twenty bucks. She wouldn’t let me back in the house until I paid her back.” She looked at Kris as she finished, flinching at their pained expression. “That’s... not normal, is it?”
Kris sadly shook their head. “It shouldn’t be.”
Susie’s face screwed up again. She didn’t look like she was in danger of tears again, but that didn’t make her pain any less real. She leaned back in the booth, thudding heavily against the cushion. “Fuck.”
Frowning, Kris slid out from their seat. They moved to Susie’s side of the table, silently asking her to slide over, which she did with slight confusion. Kris took her hand in theirs and looked past her, through the window.
“Susie,” Kris said, simultaneously to her and to no one. Though she was already looking at them, her head tilted in acknowledgment. It took Kris a very long time to continue speaking, but after meeting Susie’s eyes, they did. “You know... you know we all love you. Right?”
The question froze Susie in place. Only her eyes twitched, and even then, only by a hair. She blinked once, twice. Then a third time.
“Y...yyyeah?” It sounded like she had no idea whether or not she was being truthful.
“Susie,” Kris sighed, trying to keep the hurt from their voice, “There’s... there’s no bill. No one’s keeping score. We don’t expect... We don’t *want* to be... paid back. You’re our friend. You’re my *best* friend. So, I love you. Toriel does, too. And Ralsei. That’s it.”
After they finished talking, Kris kept watching Susie. I assumed Kris and I wanted to see the same thing; obvious understanding. Instead, we got almost nothing.
Susie didn’t reply. Her gaze slowly drifted to the empty plates on the table. She didn’t acknowledge the waitress as the dishes were cleared, nor when their waters were refilled. Kris gave polite nods and thanks, but Susie didn't move. Until Kris softly asked her if she wanted to leave, Susie stared at the table.
The two got up in silence. QC called out as they left, and Kris smiled and waved back to her. Back outside, Kris led Susie under the shade of a nearby tree. Susie leaned her back against the trunk, still mulling Kris’ words over.
Kris stood beside her, pulling their phone out once more. “I gotta call Mom.” They touched Susie’s arm. “You okay?”
She just nodded. Kris pouted for half a second, then turned to dial Toriel’s number. Susie gently grasped their arm before they could step away.
“Kris?” The two looked at each other. Susie did not let go of Kris. “...You really mean all that?”
Kris put the phone back in their pocket, fully facing Susie. They nodded, slowly and deliberately. Susie’s eyes scoured Kris’ for any hint of dishonesty or insincerity. She would find none.
Still possessively holding onto Kris, Susie stepped toward them. She wrapped them in a hug, and Kris was only too happy to hug her back. No tears fell, and no one said anything else. They didn’t need to.
Susie’s pager beeped. Kris felt her chest heave with a silent laugh. She stepped away from them, smiling down at them as she blindly fumbled for her pager. She only looked away from her friend when the pager was directly in front of her.
“Heh. She gonna do this all day, every day?” Susie held out the pager to Kris, who read:
“Toriel: Did you eat yet, dear?”
Kris chuckled. “I’ll tell her to chill.”
“No!” Susie said, far too quickly. “I mean, it’s cool. I don’t mind, just... Just curious, is all.” She was obviously lying. I found it rather endearing. “What’s, uh... How short do I have to be with this?”
Kris silently smirked for a moment before answering, picking up on the exact same things I had. “Pretty short. Like one sentence.”
Susie nodded too vigorously, covering her eyes with the pager and saying what she typed out loud. “Yes... ma’am... Kris... calling... you... now... T-Y-S-M... Less-than three.”
Kris let their eyes close, silently laughing towards the ground. They sighed as Susie finished, grinning at her before retrieving their phone once more and actually calling their mother.
Toriel answered halfway through the first ring. Kris assured her that yes, they had eaten plenty, and yes, Susie was loving the pager, and yes, they would both be home shortly. They exchanged “love you”s, and after the call ended, Kris and Susie were on their way to Kris’ house.
The walk was short, but not short enough to stop Kris’ dread from returning. A quiet static muffled the sounds around them. The memory of breakfast faded fast, replaced with fears of Rudy, Carol, and anything else that could ail the lone human in a town full of monsters.
Susie’s presence kept them grounded.
They arrived at the Dreemurr household. Kris led Susie inside. Toriel was standing next to Chairiel, facing the door and speaking on the phone. She greeted Kris and Susie with a wave, then held a finger up so she could finish her call.
“...Yes, I will let them know. Thank you... Yes... I will. See you soon, Carol.” Toriel hung up the phone, then smiled at the teens. “Hello, dears. Did you have a good breakfast?”
Kris nodded gratefully. Susie responded yes, and thanked Toriel one or two more times than was necessary. Toriel just smiled peacefully at her.
“I am glad,” she said, sitting down on the chair named after her. “I have quite a bit of news to share with you both. Do you mind sitting down?” She gestured to the couch, and Kris and Susie sank into the cushions a second later. Toriel took a deep, calming breath, and maintained a carefully-neutral expression as she spoke.
“So. As I am sure you noticed, I just spoke to Carol. Rudy has family over at this moment, and he will need to rest after they leave. We should plan on visiting him in a few hours, around mid-afternoon. Does that work for you, dear?” She asked Susie, who nodded. Toriel took the quick pause to consider her next words. “Okay. I must warn you both, Rudy may look... a little different than you remember. He has difficulty speaking, and will likely be wearing an oxygen mask throughout our visit, but he is very much awake and aware of his surroundings. Please speak to and treat him as you normally would, okay?”
The teens nodded again. As Toriel spoke, Kris shifted slightly on the couch, touching their shoulder to Susie’s. Susie leaned into them as Toriel continued.
“Kris, you may want to reach out to your father. I have tried calling him several times, but he is not answering. He... He should be present today. Rudy is his best friend, after all.”
Kris managed to nod naturally even as their anxiety spiked. Obviously, Asgore would not be around for this particular visit. He was trapped in the Shelter at the moment, but Toriel couldn’t know that.
Beside them, Susie had managed to simultaneously go stiff as a statue, and begin vibrating slightly. Kris nonchalantly shifted again, stealing a glance up at her face. She looked *too* normal. Kris suppressed any further reaction, trying to cover for her sudden behavior before Toriel noticed anything.
“I will,” they said, shrugging to emphasize their next words. “Probably still sleeping.”
“Mmm,” Toriel hummed. “I thought the same. Still, call him, will you?” Kris just nodded again, and thankfully, Toriel dropped the subject. “Speaking of family, Asriel will-”
Kris was standing up before I could even register they had moved. Their whole body was tense, their muscles coiled and ready to leap into the arms of someone who was not here yet. Toriel sighed patiently, giving a knowing smile to Kris as she continued.
“...Asriel will be here early tomorrow morning.”
“When?!” Kris demanded. It was one of the loudest words I’d ever heard them speak.
“I am not sure yet, honey. I will know when he updates me. It may be before dawn, depending on when he departs.”
Kris considered this for a second, their head jerkily nodding. They, too, were almost vibrating in place. The static that plagued their mind did not quite vanish, but it did morph from dreadful to hopeful.
“Okay,” they announced. They stood in place, staring at Toriel, though I don’t think they were expecting anything else; the emotional whiplash of the situation had simply caught up to them. It wasn’t until Susie gently took their hand that Kris moved at all. Their head snapped to look at her, finding a myriad of emotions and questions in her eyes. Instead of answering any of them, Kris chose to sit back down, hug her arm tight to their chest, and stare at their mother.
Toriel regarded them both for a moment, her eyes lingering on Kris. “Though I wish the circumstances were better, it will be very nice to have him back home.” She paused, briefly considering something, then rose to her feet. “Well. I believe that was everything I wanted to share. I still have several phone calls to make, but in the meantime, please,” she looked pointedly at Susie, “Make yourselves at home, dears. I will give you a heads-up before we leave.”
Kris barely acknowledged her words, too lost in thought and conflicting emotions to do anything but give a delayed nod.
“Thanks, Toriel,” Susie said.
Smiling, Toriel walked into the kitchen. The stairs creaked as she ascended to the second floor. Kris did not move.
Susie sighed. She did not speak yet, just shifted her body to better accommodate the limb trapped against Kris’ body. The sound of a ticking clock echoed through the room. All the while, Kris’ head buzzed.
“So...” Susie started, her tone deceptively passive, “I get to meet the famous Asriel, huh?”
It took a moment for Kris to register her words, and even longer for them to speak. When they did, it was not to answer her rhetorical question.
“What... the fuck... was that?” Kris asked the empty TV stand.
“...Uhh... What was what?” Susie asked.
I could almost hear stone grating against stone as Kris slowly looked up at Susie. “Your poker face fucking sucks.”
At the very least, Susie had the decency to look sheepish. “Dude, I... I didn’t realize Asgore was gonna come up like that...”
“Literally Rudy’s best friend,” Kris whispered through their teeth. “You *gotta* chill.”
Susie floundered. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but she said nothing. Spending several seconds watching the incredibly strong dragon look decidedly pathetic, Kris tried to relax.
“...Just...” They sighed, shaking their head as they searched for the right words. “Just... play dumb. Ignore it. He’s gonna get mentioned. Please don’t... don’t blow this up.” They locked eyes with Susie. Kris’ frustration softened as Susie’s eyes silently asked for forgiveness.
She nodded meekly. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll just... pretend I have no idea where he is.” Her head fell, her bangs almost obscuring her eyes. “...Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” they hugged her arm tighter, resting their cheek against her shoulder. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to... freak out. Lots going on.”
“I know, dude. I get it.” Susie’s free hand settled atop Kris’ head, and her chin atop her hand. “It’s... stressful. No hard feelings?”
“No hard feelings.” Kris’ words were mumbled, but they were truthful. They swung their feet off the floor, resting their legs against Susie’s and curling in closer to her. Long, uncounted minutes were spent finding comfort in each other. The static in Kris’ mind quieted the longer they held onto Susie.
The remaining hours before the visit passed uneventfully. Toriel wandered between her bedroom and the landline phone, which rang a few times for her. Susie idly inspected the Dreemurr’s house, making comments and poking fun to try and make Kris smile. Kris stuck close by her the whole time, and they did smile, sometimes even genuinely. They checked their phone every time Susie asked about Noelle, but the doe never responded. Kris assured Susie this was not cause for concern; with everything Kris and Susie were grappling with, Noelle had infinitely more to worry about. Her phone was likely the last thing on her mind right now.
Me? I thought to myself, and I worried. I did not speak to Kris; if they wanted something from me, they would ask. At the very least, I trusted them with that.
Eventually, the phone call from Carol reached the landline. Toriel answered it, and a few minutes later was in the driver’s seat of the van. Kris and Susie were in the back seat, holding each other’s hands as they made their way to the Holidays’ house.
I trust you, Kris. Don’t make that decision harder than it needs to be, please.