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Will had a lot on his mind lately. And if he was being completely honest, the last thing he wanted to do most nights was leave the house. Still, when his friends wanted to, he tried his best to play along, joke around, and have fun. He didn’t want to be the one to ruin their night.
On this particular night out, the group split up pretty quickly. Hanbon made a beeline for the dance floor, and Anthony saw an old friend and went to talk to them. Coy wandered off soon after.
Officially alone, Will decided to make himself comfortable at the bar. He ordered a plain Coke and sipped it as, for the first time that week, his thoughts had room to settle in his mind.
And there was really only one thought in his mind.
Will couldn’t even remember when it started, really. When he replayed the memories in his head, the conversations, jokes, and all the time he had spent with Coy, he could only imagine that this strange feeling had always been there.
Maybe only now he could put a name to it.
Or maybe his…inclination… was just rapidly contagious, tinging every single wholesome, platonic memory with a grimy coating of yearning. Ruining everything it touched.
Will didn’t want to ruin anything.
Either way, whether they were always there or just a figment of Will’s imagination, he was annoyed by how affected he was by…his feelings. His strange, unusual feelings, the abnormal affection, the heightened sensitivity, his odd desire for approval, more than usual, more than ever before. They were throwing him off his game, making him self-conscious, making him hesitate. He couldn’t crack jokes, and he couldn’t act normal. He was in a funk he couldn’t break out of.
All because of Coy.
He groaned out loud, and immediately regretted it when he caught a glimpse of a stranger’s side-eye aimed at him. He certainly looked like a different kind of loser nursing a non-alcoholic soda alone at the bar with a tortured expression on his face.
As if answering his thoughts, Coy slid up to the spot next to him. “Hey. Whatchu got there?” Will had to restrain himself from yelping.
“Coke.” He replied coolly. Nice.
“And?”
“...Ice?”
“Wow.” Coy responded, taking the seat next to Will, “Not to sound like the villain of a peer pressure infomercial, but that’s really lame.”
Will took a sip from his Lame Beverage. “I’m the designated driver,” he said plainly.
“...We took the train?”
“Yeah. And I’m the designated driver in case something happens to the train driver– Conductor, I mean. I’m the designated conductor. You have to stay vigilant like that, it’s a scary world out there.” Will said, eyes wide and expression serious.
“Oh, right, of course, the designated conductor,” Coy affirmed, humoring Will’s antics.
“Yep.”
“Mmhm, real scary.”
“...”
“Okay fine,” Will said, relenting under absolutely zero pressure. “I just…have a lot on my mind, don’t wanna get drunk tonight.”
Coy nodded thoughtfully, “Yeah, I get that.” He turned towards the bar, “Hey, could we get another one of these?” He asked the bartender, who obliged, placing a Coke can and empty glass in front of him.
Will stayed silent, watching Coy crack open his Coke and pour it into his glass, waiting until the bartender walked away to let out the laughter he was holding in.
“What? Stop that.” Coy said defensively
Will continued to snicker while Coy stared incredulously. “Ermmm waiter?” Will said between giggles, “I’ll Have What He’s Having Please.” he said, cartoonishly.
“No.” Coy demanded, “Stop it. No. There's no bit here. I wanted the drink you got so I ordered it. Like a normal person. Stop. Did I sound weird ordering it? God.”
Will laughed one final time before shaking his head in response, still smiling. “No, no. You sounded fine. I just… have a beautiful mind that is capable of seeing the humor in everyday situations.”
“Oh I’m sure.” Coy responded sarcastically, “And what's on your Beautiful Mind that’s keeping you from drinking, anyway?”
Will knew he was just repeating his own words back at him, but something about hearing Coy call him beautiful (more or less) made his heart jump. “Uhm… Stuff. You know.”
“Stuff, huh?” Coy repeated, unconvinced. He took a swig of the Beverage That He Ordered Like a Normal Person, and leaned back in his seat. “Whew, that hits the spot.”
“Really?” Will Asked.
“No.”
Will chuckled, and Coy continued, “No actually, isn’t drinking what you’re supposed to do when you have a lot on your mind? Like, let your deepest, darkest thoughts come to the surface! Turn off your filter! Grab the person you want and kiss them right on the mouth!”
Will choked a bit hearing that, and immediately felt immensely grateful for his darker complexion preventing Coy from noticing the heat rising in his face.
“No, Seriously,” Coy said, unseriously.
“Uhm…” Will said, still recovering, “I don’t think it works like that for me.”
“Yeah?”
Will just shrugged, not elaborating.
“Mm… I guess that’s true. When I've seen you drunk you don’t even really ‘Go crazy,’ you kinda seem…aloof.” Coy responded.
Will stared down at his reflection in his watered-down Coke, ice all melted by this point. “Yeah...” Will mumbled, looking away, "I guess it's not very fun to be around.”
“I never said it was a bad thing,” Coy said easily. Will flicked his gaze back onto Coy in slight surprise. “ No one would hold it against you, if you just, relaxed– for once. You don’t have to worry about always being ‘fun to be around.’ We’re your friends, Will. ”
“Yeah…” Will replied, still unsure, “I mean, I don't know,” he said, trying to pivot, “Either way… drinking just makes the confusing thoughts even Less clear…And I don’t wanna be worried about what I’ll say or do without even knowing. When I have a lot to think about, drinking doesn’t seem so appealing anymore…just… incredibly Anxiety Inducing?”
Coy snorted, pretending not to be curious about what exactly Will was afraid of saying or doing while drunk, “Well yeah, I never said the decisions you’d make drunk would be good ones…just truer ones? I don’t know, I don't even believe half the bullshit I'm spouting right now.”
Will smiled, “Yeah, I could kinda tell.”
Coy returned the smile, wordlessly staring at Will as he rested his chin on his hand.
And staring.
Will could feel the flush returning to his cheeks. He took a big swig from his glass, raising his cup to hide his expression. When he lowered it again, Coy’s eyes were still there.
Boring into his soul.
Will took another sip.
Eventually, Coy broke the silence, “...Is that why you haven’t drunk anything the last four times we went out? Afraid of..doing or saying something?”
Will flicked his eyes around the room nervously, “...Was it four times?” He stalled.
“Mhm. Four weekends is a long time to be thinking about…stuff”
“Well actually last weekend we went out twice. So three weekends.”
“Still. Long time. Three whole uploads on the channel.”
Seeing his opening, Will joked, “Geez Coy, it’s always Work Work Work with you. You need to let loose a little,” playfully pushing Coy’s own drink towards him.
Coy tried to keep an unimpressed expression, but his straight face kept wavering until he had to bury his head into his hands to cover his laughter. Will felt a bit buzzed off of the approval.
“Oh my god,” Coy said, muffled by hands, “Now I know why you don't drink. It’s so you can stay sharp and deflect all of my questions.”
Will just shrugged. Maybe he did have a habit of doing that.
Coy tried to refocus, “I’m just saying that, maybe, you don’t need to be so afraid. Maybe the things you’re worried about…coming to the surface when you’re drunk aren’t so bad.”
“...Okay now you do sound like the villain from a Peer-Pressure Infomercial.”
“Will.”
“Coy?”
“Will.”
“...”
Will looked down at his drink, running his finger around the rim of the glass, avoiding Coy’s gaze. “They’re… not the kinda things I'd want to say drunk. It wouldn't feel right.”
Coy considered that for a moment. Gently, he took the glass from Will’s hands, forcing him to look up at Coy. “Perfect timing then. We’re both here and sober. You can tell me right now.” Now it was Coy’s turn to feel embarrassed. “Um- whatever it is that you wanna say. Just to get it off your chest. If you want.”
Will was quiet for a moment.
“...I don't know if I can”
“...”
Coy sighed, “Okay, I get it”
“You do?”
“I mean, I don't think I could just grab the person I want and kiss them on the mouth,” Coy said thoughtfully.
Will sputtered a bit, “Wh- Uhm, why not? Would you have to walk very far?”
Coy didn’t dignify that with a response, which was understandable.
“Although,” Coy pondered out loud, “I suppose kissing somebody on the mouth would be a lot harder than just saying, hm, maybe just three little words to one little person.”
Will genuinely wished Coy would quit saying ‘kiss on the mouth.’
“You’re almost 6 feet tall,” Will deflected.
Coy just stared.
Shit, Coy was starting to become immune to his deflections. And his counterattack “stare silently” was really fucking effective.
“W-WHO even asked you to kiss the person you want on the mouth? No one said anything about kissing anyone!!!
Will had to imagine that whatever the correct response was, that wasn’t it.
It took a lot more uncomfortable silence for Will to work out what he wanted to say. Luckily, Coy didn’t mind waiting.
“Either way…” Will finally mumbled, “it’s five words.”
“Yeah?” Coy responded.
“I'm in Love with you?” He delivered, almost as a question.
Coy broke into possibly the biggest grin Will has ever seen on his face, and Will felt so very inclined to kiss it off him.
“Geez, you’re right. Five words is a lot more than three. That must’ve been hard.” Coy said, still beaming, and swaying in closer with each word.
They both leaned into each other, but with their faces just inches away, Will pulled away.
“Wait.”
“...Yes???” Coy said with bated breath.
“But would the contraction in “I’m” make it 6 words”
Whatever insult Coy planned to hurl at Will for his infuriating behavior died on his lips once Will leaned in to finish what he started. As their faces met, Coy cupped one hand around Will’s face, and wrapped the other around Will’s torso. He held on tight to Will, like he wanted to get closer, like he couldn’t get close enough. Will desperately gripped onto Coy’s hair, feeling as though it were his tether to reality, and the only thing keeping him from melting completely away into a puddle at Coy’s feet.
Eventually, they pulled away to breathe, staring at each other wordlessly. Will felt like he was floating. He would’ve floated right back over to Coy to kiss him again if, right that moment, Hanbon hadn’t come prancing up to where they were sitting.
“Hi guys!” She said chipperly, swinging herself onto the barstool next to Will. “What’re we talking about?”
“NOTHING! really,” Coy responded, to Will’s relief. “Uhm, what’s up Bon? You seem…coordinated.”
Hanbon giggled, “So do YOU! You guys didn’t feel like drinking tonight either, huh?”
Will wondered what exactly about Coy’s disheveled hair and flushed face seemed “coordinated.”
Coy nodded. “Just not that kinda night, I guess,” Coy said, flashing Will a sly smile. “What about Anthony? I haven’t seen him all night. How's he doin...” Coy trailed off, looking past Hanbon as if his question had been answered by something in the distance.
“What? What is it?” Will asked, turning to see where Coy’s gaze led. “Oh…”
“That is...Unfortunate,” Coy said while wincing.
Hanbon laughed, “You CANNOT be talking, Coy. You are a WAY worse dancer than Anthony.”
“Which is how I know, from experience, that he is WASTED. Where else would he get the confidence?”
Will actually snorted at that, entertained by Anthony’s ridiculous flailing form.
“Hey.” Hanbon started, faux-confrontationally, “At least he’s TRYING, and- and DOING what he loves, and is almost...on…beat….”
“It’s interpretative,” Will added helpfully.
“Oh God he sees us,” Coy said. “Quick, look busy-”
But it was too late. Anthony was already lumbering towards them with the same grace as a baby duckling trailing after its mom. “Hi..iii guyss!” He said with sluggish cheer.
“Anthony… what happened to you?” Hanbon said, trying to be gentle, but unable to hide the amusement in her tone. “I thought you could hold your liquor better than this.”
Anthony didn’t respond, just attempted to sit down in the seat next to Hanbon, missing entirely and falling flat onto his ass.
“Oh my God he drank all the alcohol to save us…” Will said solemnly.
“Real cute. Nose goes to babysit drunk Anthony for the rest of the night,” Coy said, touching a finger to his nose. Will did the same shortly after.
“Ugh, c'mon Coy, seriously?” Hanbon said, hauling Anthony back onto his feet. “Whatever, I’m always down to help a friend in need. You guys should be more supportive, like me.” She said teasingly.
“Mmmm…No. No, thank you,” Will said, and Coy snickered.
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Hanbon replied. Anthony was now slung over Hanbon’s shoulder, who was staggering under his shifting weight. “We should definitely get this big baby home now.”
“Awe, already?” Will said, looking over at Coy. “Me and Coy were having a lot of fun…talking.”
“How fun can talking over a couple of Diet Cokes be?” Hanbon responded unattentively, focused on trying to keep Anthony from slipping further out of her grasp. “ At least me and Anthony were tearing up the dance floor, Amirite?!” Hanbon said confidently, raising a fist for Anthony to bump, who grinned from his sideways dangling position, punching the air next to Hanbon several times before he actually managed to return the gesture.
“It's alright, Will, we can continue our conversation when we get home,” Coy said, playfully.
Will flushed and looked at Hanbon to see if she had noticed anything, but she was already ahead of them, preoccupied with trying to get Anthony to the door one stumble at a time.
Will looked back at Coy, who had shyly extended a hand towards him. Will took it, and didn’t let go until several blocks later, when Hanbon had to abruptly turn around to confirm which direction the station was in.
————————————————————
“So, how long have you two been going out?” Hanbon nonchalantly asked over breakfast the next morning.
Coy and Will stumbled over each other trying to form a coherent explanation, “it’s not like that!”, “we’re just friends!”, and other generic excuses getting thrown around hastily.
“From that reaction, I’m gonna guess one night,” Anthony said, unimpressed. “Couldn’t even take the time to get a story together.”
“How did Anthony notice?!” Will asked in disbelief, “He couldn’t even walk!”
“You see the world differently when you’re sideways,” Anthony said smugly.
Coy and Will groaned.
“Fuck you guys,” Coy said, with no real malice.