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Azula could feel the intense stares of the many noble men lining Zuko’s court staring into the arena. She was dressed in traditional marital clothes, to make the sting to lose all the more humiliating. Ever since Zuko welcomed Azula back into her court, men have pursued her mercilessly. She was being treated like a lamb to slaughter as men from the court, general's sons, and ambitious soldiers hoped to use a marriage to the princess to raise their statues. Something Azula was well aware of was the political role of a princess, especially now that Zuko was on the throne. There was one simple issue. A realization she made when she was running around on her joinery of self discovery. She could never be with a man. She also could never allow herself to bind herself to someone she did not love with all her heart.
Azula kneeled her eyes downward. She had seen Zuko and Mai upon their throne watching the fight as required. Mai was sitting above with a dress made of robes that hugged her so loosely they were meant to hide an ever growing baby bump. The fire lord and his lady are present to watch an official duel. Spirits this had to be the third one this week. The request for her hand seems to only grow in numbers to more suitors she swatted off. It was always good practice at least. Her abilities are only growing from so many frequent battles. It also helped her reputation rebuild after her time away from the palace. People seemed to forget just why she was feared when her father was in charge. Zuko may be into the softer meekier version of being a ruler, but Azula knew a healthy amount of fear kept things balanced. Someone had to be a scary glare over his shoulder, because clearly Mai’s icy glare wasn’t enough. So Azula would make sure her burning stare would do the trick.
A ringing of a gong is what tipped Azula off when her duel started. She rose to her feet looking at this scrawny excuse of a noble. One of councilmen's sons who was more likely than not forced to challenge her. Not that it mattered to her. If anything it would make her goal of these duels all the easier. Orange fire shot towards her as the nervous nobel man fired as soon as the gong sounded. Azula blocked the blast before firing her own blue fire right back. Refusing to let up on her attacks until the man before her was defeated. She listened to the cheers of primal fire. The nation needs to see the strongest flame consume the weaker one. Something more barbarian and feral than she has seen from any other nation.
The fire nation was more like their element than the people would care to admit. While every other nation embraced their element altering their natures. The fire nation seemed to love living in the lie that they are the only ones to truly tame their element. No, the fire nation was more consumed by it than any other. Azula during her time in the wilderness allowed herself to be consumed by it fully to be reborn as a better bender. Learning how to walk with fire tracing over her body without being eaten whole by its hunger. Too many of the fire nation’s best did not know how to escape the ever ending desire of fire.
The only way to bend fire is to bend it from passion and nothing else. Passion Azula was happy to pour into it. The fire is where she first discovered herself, and it is where she found herself when lost. Azula had grown up not knowing what passion was, just hunger. For years Azula assumed that her hunger was passion. Her all consuming need to conjure, to win. Now she only craved to bend fire. To feel whole with the flames and admire not just the beauty of her blue flames, but the pleasant subtle burn rooted deep in her muscles when she moved the element. It was a nightly ritual to maintain the fire resting inside her chest. A fire any fire bender knows more intimately than their own hearts.
There was only one person in this world that could have taught her what passion was. A person that flared her inner fire too harshly, and a name still bitter on her tongue. It was ridiculous to hold such a grudge. She had long forgiven Mai for her role in her downfall as Ozai's successor. She should even feel grateful for it, but she couldn’t be. There was something so much more rotten at the root of her bitterness.
Azula took her leave from the arena listening to the continuous roar of hungry men growing distant as the palace walls. Their hunger was disgusting. What is it that causes men to hunger like a reptile while women crave like felines? Azula could feel the jaws of Ozai’s hunger developing around her all over again. Jaws Azula was accustomed to fitting inside of since birth. Jaws that she no longer wanted to find herself in ever again. Azula reached a hand up to rub at the lump in her throat. She hated that lump. It all started after her time in an unsavory part in her past.
Azula took her time brushing out her hair. Her martial clothes hang somewhere in the back of her room. She listened to the faint sounds of music being practiced from inside of the palace. Music that will be played later as entertainment for when the avatar and friends arrive for dinner tonight. No doubt Zuko would be making the thrilling announcement to his closest friends. She hummed along to the melody of the music as she carefully worked her comb through her hair.
Azula sighed as she heard a knock upon her door, “Zuko go away.”
“Wrong guess,” Mai teased in her usual monotone tone. She poked her head inside the door to look towards Azula. Her face was as still as ever, but the shine in her eyes always betrayed her. That is if someone knew her intimately enough to decipher the subtle changes in them. Humor was the current glimmer in those toasted amber eyes.
“Mai? What brings you all the way to my chambers. Your feet are too swollen for such perilous journeys,” Azula mused back in equal monotone. Smiling at her reflection watching Mai’s eyes within the glass.
“I came to give you a warning actually. About a certain someone,” Mai entered the room, closing the door behind her. Azula suddenly felt the metal of her comb get much hotter against the palm of her hand. Mai stood behind Azula working her fingers through Azula’s hair starting to pull it up into an up-do. Azula could only find herself staring into the eyes of her own reflection.
Her fingers and toes felt so hot, burning into the wooden arms of her chair. If Mai could smell it she chose not to comment instead focusing on her hair. Azula swallowed, focusing on how cold her core felt, but her limbs just felt so hot. It was almost burning her skin as fire seemed to be trying to hide away from the raging storm deep inside. Her mind felt numb around the edges.
“Ty Lee?” She asked, forcing her suddenly fat tongue to speak. Her own voice felt foreign to her ears. Mai nods as she rests her hands on Azula’s shoulders. Firmly pushing down as she leaned forward. The palms of her hands rubbing soothing circles into the blades of her shoulders.
Of course Ty Lee would be attending for tonight’s dinner to announce Mai’s pregnancy. Ty Lee was one of Mai’s closest friends. Mai would obviously want to tell her friends as well, not just the avatar and his friends.
Ty Lee. She hadn’t seen her in years. Not after running around the world avoiding her on her conquest to bring her back home (apparently Zuko never asked her to do that). It was something Azula did her best to avoid. The complicated storm of emotions that the talented acrobatic she brought when Azula saw her. It was something Azula had been putting off dealing with for years. She was just now untangling the mess her parents gave her. She didn’t have time to deal with the new messes.
“Where are they,” Azula grumbled digging into her vanity mirror drawers. Pushing aside hair pins and other products.
“That’s a great way to meet her again after all these years,” Mai leaned forward to push the drawer closed.
“You’re right. Shut up, help me find those candies,” Azula opened the drawer again, still searching around for them, “I can’t see her again without them. Plus Katara will be there and I need them to deal with her.”
“Azula, it's been six years. Let it go,” Mai sighed as she walked away from her. It was up to Azula what she did with those candies. Azula was no longer her problem. They had spent a very messy year and a half learning how to be friends while she recovered. Well it was still a challenge now, but more days were better than worse at least. That was with Azula carefully building up her life again to avoid the things that send her spiraling. One of those things being the very person she had been avoiding for years.
Ty Lee.
Dinner would be ready in about an hour. Which meant everyone was currently sitting in the tea room to be entertained. Everyone except for Azula. Why should she have to suffer the presence of the avatar and his team longer than needed. She definitely wasn’t staying in her room to avoid Ty Lee who also happened to be in the tea room.
Her head felt fuzzy as she sat cross legged in the center of her room. A row of candles laid in front of her as she breathed controlling the height of the flames. It was a simple mindless practice by now. It was comforting a simple task to allow her mind to be consumed by the numbness in her mind and body.
Here with the fire there was no team avatar or Ty Lee in another room. All that there was was warmth and numbness. The great Angi wrapped Azula in their warmth keeping her safe. Inside of their warmth while burning those who tried to do her harm. Azula took a deep breath allowing the flames to raise higher than before.
“Princess Azula,” The soft delicate voice shattered through Azula’s concentration making the princess drop the flames. She turned to look back to see her once more. Ty Lee, the one whose betrayal hit hardest, her best friend. Her throat only felt tighter as she stared at her. She was finally out of those Kyoshi Warrior scrubs and in fire nation clothes once again.
“Ty Lee,” Azula forced her tone to remain even and cold. Ty Lee stood by her door gripping it tighter.
“Is it true? Your marriage conditions?” Ty Lee asked slowly, walking into the room.
“That the man I will marry must defeat me in an agni ki?” She turned to look back to her candles controlling the rise and all of the flames. She did not owe Ty Lee an explanation as to why she set her conditions. Ty Lee did not deserve her time.
“So that means I can’t marry you Princess?”
“I’m sorry. What in the name of Agni did you just ask me?” Azula asked the blue flames of the candles whipping violently in a dance.
“You heard me princess,” Ty Lee stepped into the room, “I’ve spent years chasing after you in the woods Azula. Under no one's orders. I simply wanted to find you. So let me ask you again. Can I not marry you?”
Azula’s brain could not keep up with what she was asking. Suddenly she no longer felt the pleasing numbness of her candies any longer. Suddenly her chest felt tighter than it ever had before. The air was buzzing loudly. All other noise didn’t exist as she looked upon the most elegant woman she had ever known. Someone Azula spent far too many nights dreaming off while cursing her name. She could feel her breathing get faster.
“Why would you want that?” Azula asked, forcing the words around her suddenly fat tongue.
Ty Lee walked closer to her, moving to sit down next to her and smiled. Oh that beautiful wide smile that Azula missed over the years. She could reach out to her now. To kiss her the way she had dreamed off more times than she would like to admit, "Because I love you Azula.”
Azula turned to look at her. The person who betrayed her was sitting there claiming she loved her? It was too good to be true, and too aggravating to accept. How could she? Betray her and spend years tormenting her to come profess her love?
Oh Ty Lee. You always find new ways to surprise me.
“I said to any man who wishes to marry me. Are you a man Ty Lee?” Azula asked, tilting her head ever so.
Ty Lee started to smile more before suddenly throwing herself onto Azula. Her face buried into her shoulder squeezing the princess. She started to laugh, holding her even tighter. Azula hesitated before hiding her face in her hair. Her nails are digging into her clothes. Her throat closed up as tears threatened to fall.
She was being chosen. Someone decided that she was worth love. They saw past the monster she was forced to become all these years.
Ty Lee started to laugh, pulling Azula's body even closer trying to be consumed by her fire. Tears started to soak into the shoulder of Azula's robes, “Come on Azula. It's time for dinner.”
“Aren't you going to propose?" Azula asked, forcing the tears back. Ty Lee slowly pulled back laughing. Azula taking those found cheeks into the palm of her hands. Her thumbs whipping away the tears.
“Of course not silly. If I'm going to ask for a princess to marry me. I have to make it special!” Ty Lee pressed those warm hands more firmly against her cheeks. Those perfectly round cheeks squishing up forcing her eyes to be slightly squinted. Azula found herself snorting before she could stop herself. It was so unbecoming of royalty, but if she was to be imperfect in the moment. She might as well cross every line. She pulled her closer kissing her future.