Archive of Our Own

Jeonghan stepped through the double doors of that godforsaken high school gym and immediately regretted being there.

It was the 10 year high school reunion thing and he really didn’t want to be here.

“Just so you know, I don't want to be here” he muttered to Joshua

Beside him, Joshua didn't even look up from fixing his sleeve. “You've said that ten times already.” 

“But this time I mean it more.”

Joshua sighed the sigh of a man who had been friends with Yoon Jeonghan for far too long.

“Just enjoy being here. People are gonna ask for your autograph.”

Jeonghan laughed. 

“Autograph? Joshua, be serious. Ten years ago maybe I was the most popular kid in school, but now?” He gestured vaguely at himself. “I'm irrelevant. I work at an irrelevant job doing irrelevant things. I've glowed down. Nobody's gonna recognize me. This is actually humiliating.” 

“You haven't glowed down.”

“I absolutely have.”

“You literally haven't.”

“I used to be hot.”

“You still are.”

“I used to be interesting.”

Joshua didn’t respond.

“See?” Jeonghan pointed accusingly.

“I was trying to think of something nice.”

“Exactly.”

“Relax.”

Easy for Joshua to say. He was so pretty and full of life. He was very exciting too.

Everywhere Jeonghan looked there were people reconnecting, hugging, talking about careers and marriages and babies. 

Suddenly he heard a loud voice. “Heyyy, Joshy Josh!”

Joshua grinned. “Hey, Soonyoung ! How are you?”

“I'm good! How are you?”

“I'm good.”

Then Soonyoung noticed Jeonghan. “Who's this? Your plus one?”

Joshua looked offended. “No! This is Yoon Jeonghan !”

Soonyoung squinted. 

Jeonghan watched the recognition slowly load.

Soonyoung gasped. “Oh God, yes you are ! I forgot about Mr. Queen Bee. Hi !”

“Hi.”  Jeonghan nodded and turned back to Joshua. “I'm gonna go to the restroom.” 

He ran away.

He practically power-walked away, weaving through clusters of people who all looked way too put-together for a reunion, and locked himself in a stall for a second just to breathe

God this is sooo embarrassing. I'm so irrelevant here. I wanna go home. 

Ten years ago he'd honestly believed the world revolved around him. He'd floated through high school convinced his main character status was permanent.

Turns out adulthood was a very efficient reality check.

After another minute of staring at himself and contemplating escape routes, he finally stepped out of the bathroom and walked across the gym to find Joshua.

He was going to tell Joshua he was leaving.

Then he was going to go home, put on sweatpants, order food, and never think about this reunion again.

A flawless plan.

A plan that immediately died.

Because halfway across the hall, he saw a man sitting alone at one of the tables, staring at his phone.

Holy shit.

Jeonghan stopped walking.

Even from across the room Jeonghan could tell he was stupidly handsome. He had nice shoulders, the way his button-up stretched across his arms and chest…wow…he definitely had good muscles.

Shit. Who the hell was that?

He ran over to Joshua who was thankfully alone. “Shua. Oh my God, look at that man over there!”

“Okay?”

“Do you know who that is?”

Joshua shrugged. “Don't know. Maybe someone's plus one…or maybe some dude from another class.”

“He looks so amazing I want him so bad” Jeonghan whispered.

Joshua chuckled. “Go talk to him then.”

“NO!”

“What's the worst that could happen?” 

“He could hear me!”

Joshua just shook his head. “Just go talk to him please. You're painfully single.”

“Painfully single for a reason. I have terrible social skills!”

Joshua reached up and dramatically made a little cross on Jeonghan's forehead with his finger. 

“I blessed you with flirting skills. Go talk to him. Just say hi. Literally just say hi, that's all.”

Jeonghan huffed. He really didn't want to do this. He hated talking to men he found attractive. It was the worst. Why couldn't the universe just drop the love of his life on his doorstep like a polite delivery? No awkward small talk required. 

He could just walk away right now, go home, and spend the next few weeks building elaborate fake scenarios about this guy in his head to keep himself entertained.

But shit... the man really did look good.

Just one hi. He could manage one hi.

“Okay... I'll go” Jeonghan grumbled.

“Yay!” Joshua cheered.

Jeonghan took a deep breath and started walking over before he could talk himself out of it. His brain was already screaming at him the entire way. This is such a bad idea. 

He finally reached the table and stopped like an idiot, clearing his throat way too loudly.

The man looked up with a flat expression and zero sparkle. Then looked right back down at his phone.

Oh wow. Disgusting start. 

Ten years ago people would’ve been fighting for my attention. Now I’m just... furniture.

Jeonghan cleared his throat again

The man looked up and raised a brow. “Can I help you?”

Oh my fucking god. That voice. Why is it so deep? Ahhhhh !

“Um...”

Jeonghan leaned forward and casually placed a hand on the chair. 

Unfortunately the chair was covered in some slippery satin demon fabric apparently designed by Satan himself. His hand slid and his entire body followed and he almost ate shit right there, flailing for half a second before catching himself on the table edge.

“Hi !” he squeaked.

The man tilted his head, looking concerned. “Are you drunk? Want help finding your friends?”

“No no I.. uh…I thought you were my friend. Guess you’re not.” Award-winning bullshit right there. “Are you an alumni or a plus one?”

“I’m an alumni.”

“Oh. I’ve never seen you.”

“I’ve never seen you either.”

That hurt his feelings. 

“I'm Yoon Jeonghan.” 

No response. No late recognition like soonyoung.

He pulled out the chair and sat down across from the guy like he’d been invited. “Wait, is it okay if I sit?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. I’m just waiting for my friend. He’s stuck in traffic.”

“Okay great!” Jeonghan said in a high pitched tone, God why that tone. “Uh, not great that he’s stuck in traffic or anything just—um anyway like I said, I’m Yoon Jeonghan. I was on the cheerleading team—”

“Oh yeah” the man nodded slowly. “One of the popular kids.”

Jeonghan nodded “Yup, that’s me. Want an autograph?” He laughed awkwardly at his own joke.

The man just stared at him blankly and then said “Not really.” 

God this is going terribly. I wanna dieeee

The man continued,  “Not really a fan of popular kids. You guys were always so loud. Classrooms, hallways, lunch area, snack shop… everywhere.”

Jeonghan felt himself physically shrinking.

“I mean...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. We were just kids.”

“Hm.”

The man checked his watch and then looked toward the entrance.

Okay ouch. That hurt. He wasn't even trying to hide his lack of interest.

Still...the man was hot.

“What's your name?” Jeonghan asked.

“Choi Seungcheol.”

“Oh… nice.”

Seungcheol nodded and looked at his watch again.

Jeonghan stood up so fast he nearly knocked the chair over. “Okay bye.”

He sprinted back to Joshua, who was chatting with someone else. 

Jeonghan grabbed his arm and dragged him away “I’m going to cry!”

“What happened?!”

“I embarrassed myself so bad !” Jeonghan whisper-yelled, voice cracking. “I almost fell on my face, he didn’t recognize me at all ! Everyone used to know me and now I’m nobody ! I joked about giving him my autograph!”

Joshua looked horrified. “You WHAT?”

“I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT!”

“Oh my God.”

“I panicked!”

Joshua covered his face.

“I panicked and then he said he hated popular kids and then he kept checking his watch and then I basically fled the scene!”

Joshua looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “It really does sound embarrassing.”

“I should go climb into my bed and never leave!”

“He hates popular kids and doesn’t know who you are, so that’s actually good,” Joshua said, patting his shoulder. “You did a lot of obnoxious shit back then. Better he doesn’t remember. You can impress him with your current life.”

“No! What’s there to impress?!”

“Jesus.” Joshua dragged him toward the drinks table. “Sober you is so depressing. Get drunk and flirt with him. Even if he doesn’t like your personality he’ll at least like your body and want you.”

“That’s disgusting,” Jeonghan said, but was interested anyway. “Get me a good drink that’ll make me bold !”

Joshua handed one over. “Here, take slow sip—”

Jeonghan gulped the whole thing like it was water.

“More.”

Another glass gone.

“Give me two more. I’m gonna take it to him and be so seductive.”

Joshua sighed but handed them over.

Jeonghan marched back to Seungcheol’s table, slightly buzzed and full of terrible confidence, and plopped down.

“Here.”

Seungcheol looked at the two glasses, then at him. “What’s this?”

“Alcohol. It’s sweet.”

“I don’t drink.”

“Ah.” Jeonghan slid both toward himself. “More for me!”

And before Seungcheol could respond, Jeonghan picked up both drinks and took a sip from each.

Seungcheol watched him for a second.

“You know those are the same drink, right?”

Jeonghan looked down at the glasses. Then back up. “...I know.”

“Then why are you alternating between them?” 

“I wanted to check.”

What the fuck did that even mean? Check what? God. He probably thought Jeonghan was an idiot.

Seungcheol looked at his phone again.

“Soooo” Jeonghan said.

“So?” Seungcheol looked up.

God, Seungcheol was so pretty. It was genuinely distracting.

How did people have conversations with attractive people? Did everyone just power through it? Was there some adult class he had missed?

“You're very handsome dudeee.”

Why. Why would he open with that?

“Thank you.”

Jeonghan nodded. “You're welcome.”

Fantastic. He was killing it.

“Sooooo” Jeonghan cleared his throat. “What do you do? Lemme guess…finance?”

“No I’m a pediatrician”

“Oh…” Jeonghan stood. “Excuse me for a moment. Watch my drinks.”

He ran over to Joshua who was talking to someone else.

He dragged him away. “I’m gonna cry !”

“What happened now?”

“I said he was handsome”

“God”

“He said thank you”

“Okay?”

“He’s a fucking doctor! Not just any doctor—a cute doctor! Who treats cute little babies! He’s a pediatrician! God, it makes him so attractive. He’s responsible and everything. He probably has those little stickers for the kids and smiles at them all sweet and he never smiled at meeeee!”

 “Maybe he thinks you’re a psycho! Why do you keep running away to update me? Just stay there and keep talking!”

Jeonghan groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “I can’t. My brain stops working when he looks at me and now he knows I think he’s hot and I ran away again like a weirdo. He’s probably texting his friend right now saying ‘some ex-popular kid is having a breakdown at my table, save me.’”

“You’re overthinking this so hard” Joshua said, shoving him lightly back toward the table. “Go. Sit. Talk about normal things. Weather, music, anything except running away every two minutes”

Jeonghan walked back over. 

He dropped into the chair across from Seungcheol and tried for a casual smile that probably looked weird. 

“Heyyy, thanks for watching my drinks ! If you hadn’t kept an eye on them, they would have run away.”

“They would have... ran away?”

“Yeah. You know. Sneaky little bastards. Drinks…always trying to escape.” 

Shut up shut up shut up why are you still talking?

Seungcheol leaned back slightly, arms crossing over his chest in a way that made his shirt pull tight. 

Jeonghan loved that but what he loved more was that smile on his face.

Holy fuck, he was smiling. He thinks my weird drink-escape joke was funny? Ahhhhhhhh.

“So what do you do?” Seungcheol asked.

Jeonghan sighed. “I work at an art gallery.” 

“Oh that sounds cool.”

Jeonghan shook his head, “it sounds cool but it’s not. Every person hears 'art gallery' and suddenly thinks I'm living in some artsy romance movie.”

“You're not?”

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“No. Not even close.” Jeonghan picked at the edge of one of the glasses. “Most of my day is just emails. Emails about where the art is, why the art is late, why the art sold for that much, and when the art is leaving. Sometimes I get the exciting ones about art that already left and now someone’s mad about it.”

“Wow so lively.” Seungcheol scoffed.

Jeonghan nodded, warming up a little because the guy was actually listening. “This morning I spent 40 whole minutes on the phone with someone who wanted to know why a painting called ‘Untitled’ didn’t have a title.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “What did you tell them?”

“I told them the title was Untitled.”

“And?”

“They asked when it would get a title.” Jeonghan shrugged. “I almost told them to title it ‘Pain in My Ass’ but I need this job.”

Seungcheol chuckled

Jeonghan stared at him. Wooohooo my boring job made this hot man laugh !

He smiled. “I don’t own the art gallery. I’m just an employee who’ll get easily fired. So that’s the thrilling part of the job.” 

“Wow sounds much thrilling than mine”

Jeonghan perked up. “Do you have stickers, Doctor?”

Seungcheol tilted his head. “Are you asking if I have stickers on me right now?”

Jeonghan considered that. “Actually, that would be really cute.”

“I don’t have it now.”

“Damn.”

Seungcheol shook his head, smiling.

“I mean at work” Jeonghan clarified. “In your clinic or hospital or wherever you work. Do you have stickers? Do you hand them out to children? Do you give them lollipops after stabbing them with needles?”

“First of all, I do not stab them. It’s called injecting someone gently.”

“Stab them” Jeonghan corrected.

“You're making me sound like a supervillain.”

“You lure innocent children into a room.”

“That's not how clinics work.”

“You gain their trust.”

“yes”

“You distract them.”

“Sometimes.”

“Aha.”

“That's normal.”

“And then you stab them !”

“You have a very strange understanding of pediatric medicine.”

“I think it's extremely accurate.”

“It's not.”

“It is.”

Then someone across the room yelled, “Seungcheol !”

Seungcheol looked up. A group of people waved him over.

“I have to go talk to them.” Seungcheol said. 

“Oh…okay…”

The hot doctor was leaving. Of course he was. Jeonghan had probably scared him off with his whole stabby children routine. Classic.

“It was nice talking to you, man.” Seungcheol stood up.

Jeonghan nodded. “You too.”

Seungcheol walked away.

Jeonghan sat there for a little while.

He caught Joshua’s eyes from across the room. 

“What?” Joshua mouthed.

“I’m gonna cry” Jeonghan mouthed back, dramatic as hell.

Joshua sighed so hard Jeonghan could almost hear it from there.

Jeonghan slumped deeper into his chair, already replaying every single embarrassing thing he’d said. 

At least Seungcheol smiled a couple times. 

That counts for something, right?

 Or maybe he was just being polite before he escaped. 

He grabbed one of the glasses and took a sip. The night was young, he was slightly drunk, and he still had no idea what the hell he was doing.

★

For the next 20 minutes, Jeonghan followed Joshua around the reunion like a deeply depressed rescue dog that had lost interest in life.

Joshua stopped to talk to former classmates. Jeonghan stood beside him. 

Joshua got pulled into a conversation about somebody's startup. Jeonghan stood beside him.

 Joshua laughed at a story about a teacher nobody had seen in ten years. Jeonghan stood beside him and occasionally nodded despite not listening to a single word.

His attention kept drifting across the room.

Which was annoying because he'd already decided he was done thinking about Choi Seungcheol.

Unfortunately, his brain had not been informed of that decision.

Every few minutes he'd accidentally spot him again. Talking to people, laughing at something someone said, looking completely comfortable.

Meanwhile Jeonghan felt increasingly ridiculous.

The alcohol buzz had worn off enough for embarrassment to start settling in. It always happened that way. At first alcohol convinced him he was charming. Then 30 minutes later it handed him a detailed report explaining why he wasn't.

The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

Not because Seungcheol had been rude.

Actually, that was the problem.

If Seungcheol had been rude, Jeonghan could've gotten over it immediately.

Instead, he'd been nice.

He'd laughed.

He'd listened to Jeonghan ramble about art gallery emails and sticker conspiracies and whatever other nonsense had fallen out of his mouth.

He'd been kind about it.

Which somehow made everything worse.

Eventually Jeonghan reached over and tugged on Joshua's sleeve. “I'm gonna go home now.” 

“Why? Giving up on hot doctor already?”

Jeonghan shrugged with a sad pout. “He’s busy. I don't really feel like talking to him anymore.” 

when Jeonghan lost interest in someone, he lost interest dramatically. One inconvenience and the crush evaporated. 

Joshua sighed. “Why are you giving up so fast?”

“He's out of my league. I just wanna go home. I feel weird standing here.” Jeonghan tugged Joshua’s sleeve again.

“Fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Jeonghan lit up like a lightbulb

Then Joshua smiled. “After you ask for his number.”

The lightbulb immediately turned off.

“Oh, absolutely not.”

“You're doing it.”

“I would rather die.”

Joshua grinned. “Great. Two options. Do or die.”

Jeonghan groaned and walked away.

He spotted Seungcheol walking toward the food table alone. The man grabbed a bottle of water and cracked it open, standing off by himself for the moment. 

Okay. Now or never. 

Or never. Never sounds good.

Before his brain could file a complaint, Jeonghan walked to him..

Seungcheol looked at him.

Jeonghan froze. Immediately every conversation starter he'd thought of vanished.

Gone.

Not a single useful thought remained. His brain looked around, found nothing, and somehow produced,  “Hi. Have we met before?”

Oh no. 

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, like 30 minutes ago. Johan, right?”

“Um… it’s Jeonghan.”

“Oh. Jeonghan. My bad.” Seungcheol gave a small nod. “Anyway, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to apologize if you thought the stabbing joke wasn’t funny…you know… the whole stabbing kids with needles instead of injecting thing. Making you sound like a villain.”

Seungcheol tilted his head. “You’re still thinking about that? It’s fine. I knew it was a joke.”

Jeonghan nodded. “So… um… I was thinking of leaving and going home.”

“Oh okay. Have a good night.”

Oh god. This man is painfully uninterested. 

But Jeonghan’s mouth kept moving anyway. 

He chuckled awkwardly. “I won’t really have a good night. It’s just me in bed reading bedtime stories to my plants. No one else.”

“plants are good company” Seungcheol joked.

“Do you have plants?” Jeonghan asked. “Or some better company…like actual humans. Girlfriend or boyfriend?”

Seungcheol shook his head. “I don’t really have time for relationships.”

“Oh yes, busy giving stickers to kids” Jeonghan said, then immediately winced. Why did I say that out loud.

“Yeah...” 

Jeonghan felt the awkwardness settle between them.

Seungcheol glanced around the room before pointing toward the buffet area.

“They have a live sushi counter. I’m gonna get some. You get home safe, okay?”

Oh. Oh no. This was a dismissal. A polite dismissal.

The conversation was dying.

It was dead.

The funeral was being scheduled.

Before his brain could stop him, Jeonghan heard himself say, “Oh wait. I love sushi !”

A disgusting lie.  He hated the way sushi enthusiasts always talked about sushi like they were discussing fine art.

But apparently he hated ending conversations with attractive men even more.

“I'll have some too.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Oh…okay”

The two of them started walking toward the counter together.

Jeonghan immediately felt ridiculous. He was following a man to a sushi station. 

A man he'd met less than an hour ago. 

A man who had almost certainly been trying to leave the conversation.

The sushi station itself was surprisingly crowded. A chef stood behind the counter preparing rolls while several former classmates hovered nearby 

Seungcheol picked up a plate.

Jeonghan picked up a plate.

Seungcheol selected something specific. 

Jeonghan selected... something. Honestly, he had no idea what he'd grabbed.

Seungcheol picked up a piece and took a bite. “Woah It's actually good ! I didn't expect this from our school.” 

Jeonghan looked down at the sushi on his plate. It looked disgusting.

He took a bite. He immediately wanted to throw up. But years of faking smiles in the art gallery gave him experience.

“Woah… really good” he lied. 

His face probably looked like he was fighting for his life. Do not gag. Do not gag. Think of something else. Puppies. Rainbows. Anything but this raw sea monster in my mouth.

“You sure? You look like you’re in pain.”

“Me? Nooo. That’s my happy face. This is great. Best sushi I’ve had in… years” Jeonghan said, voice a little too high. “Love the… freshness. Very fresh. Extremely fish.”

Shut up. You’re making it worse.

Seungcheol just nodded politely. “Glad you’re enjoying it. Let’s have some more.”

Oh great.

Jeonghan reached for another piece like a masochist.

Seungcheol picked one and ate it with a smile too.

Jeonghan swallowed the second piece. It was somehow worse than the first.

How? People ate this for fun? Voluntarily?

“Seungcheol…”

“Yes Jeonghan.”

The fact that he said his name like that should've been illegal. 

It sounded like a teacher dealing with a student who was about to ask something ridiculous.

Which, to be fair, was exactly what was happening.

“If you weren't a doctor, what would you be?”

Seungcheol thought about it while picking up another piece of sushi.

“I don't know.”

“No secret dream?”

“Not really.”

“No pirate phase?”

“No.”

“Professional athlete?”

“No.”

“Model?”

Seungcheol scoffed. “You think I could make it as a model?”

“Could you make it as a model? Are you serious right now? Look at yourself ! You walked into this reunion looking like some ridiculously successful actor ! You have the shoulders for it, first of all. That's a HUGE thing ! People underestimate shoulders. The shirt situation alone is doing half the work for you. And don't even get me started on the face. You have one of those annoyingly expensive-looking faces where people automatically assume you know what you're doing. I’d buy whatever you were selling. Clothes, cologne, overpriced watches, doesn’t matter. You could model socks and I’d still be like, damn, those are some quality socks. Honestly if I looked like you, I'd be unbearable. Absolutely insufferable. I'd have business cards with my face on them. I'd introduce myself by handing people headshots. I'd make eye contact with reflective surfaces just to admire myself. The fact that you're walking around being humble about this is honestly the most unrealistic part.” 

Seungcheol just stared at him blankly.

“...Anyway” Jeonghan muttered, suddenly fascinated by his sushi. “That's just my professional opinion…ya know…working in an art gallery, I know when I see an art”

Oh my god ! I called him art ! Out loud ! To his face !

Seungcheol cleared his throat after what felt like a full minute. “That’s… quite the review.”

Jeonghan nodded aggressively. “Mhm. Very objective…purely artistic appreciation. No other motives at all.”

“Uh-huh, you—”

They got rudely interrupted by someone. 

“Yo ! Yoon Jeonghan !”

Jeonghan turned and instantly regretted it. It was Daeho. The guy had aged like expired milk but at least someone finally recognized him tonight. Small wins.

“Hey” Jeonghan said, forcing a polite smile.

Daeho slung an arm around his shoulder like they were best buddies. “Whatcha doing here talking to this handsome fella? Did you find your target of the night?”

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan tried to shrug the arm off, but Daeho just held on tighter.

“Oh please, don’t act so clueless.” Daeho chuckled and turned to Seungcheol. “Yoon is super fun, man. I know he looks kinda lame in these clothes but I can guarantee he looks prettier on his knees with a mouth full of dick. Very eager. Takes it like a champ too.”

“What the fuck?” Jeonghan shoved him away. “Why would you say that?!”

“Oh relax. He probably liked knowing that.” Daeho laughed like it was all a big joke.

“No” Seungcheol said flatly. “That was disgusting and highly inappropriate.”

“Woah, trying to score?” Daeho smirked. “People only talk to Yoon Jeonghan if they want to get laid. Oh wait, are you one of those 50 boys he slept with in school? Dude got around.”

Seungcheol sighed. “Tonight’s the first time I’m seeing him and we were just having a normal conversation, so can you excuse us”

“Oh.” Daeho looked back at Jeonghan with fake pity. “Tonight’s the first time he’s seeing you? No wonder he’s not interested. Not gonna lie, you looked pretty fuckable ten years ago.”

“Shut up” Jeonghan mumbled, looking away.

Daeho kept going like he was telling the funniest story ever. “Jeonghan was such a fucking freak back then. Down for literally anything. You name it, Yoon Jeonghan was doing it. Had threesomes right on school campus during lunch break, getting railed by two guys behind the gym. He used to let anyone use him. Absolute pornstar energy. I’m telling you, back in the day he was the easiest fuck on school and—”

Suddenly another arm wrapped around Daeho’s shoulder from behind.

It was Joshua, smiling like an angel while putting him in a headlock. 

“Buddy! You’re Daeho right!? The guy who used to fail every single subject ! The one who got caught cheating off the special ed kid during finals? Let’s go talk somewhere else, yeah?”

“Ahh let go!” Daeho squirmed.

Joshua squeezed harder, still smiling sweetly. “Remember when you got suspended for trying to sell fake test answers that were just the year before’s questions? Good times. Come on, man. Walk with me. We’ve got so much to catch up on.”

“Shut up” Daeho groaned.

Joshua looked at Jeonghan’s plate. “Han, you’re eating sushi? Wow… don’t eat it all, leave some for the rest of us!”

Jeonghan wanted to cry.

Joshua dragged Daeho away while the guy was still complaining. 

Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan, looking concerned. “Hey, are you oka—”

Jeonghan slammed his plate down on the table and ran straight to the bathroom. 

He went to the sink, and splashed cold water on his face over and over. 

But the tears wouldn’t stop. They kept coming, mixing with the water, making everything blurry and pathetic. 

He scrubbed his face roughly with paper towels, staring at his own red eyes in the mirror. 

God, I want to die. Why did I even come here?

He finally stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, hoping the hallway would be empty. 

It wasn’t. Seungcheol was standing there, waiting.

Jeonghan couldn’t even look him in the face. The embarrassment was choking him. He tried to walk past quickly.

“Hey Jeonghan, are you okay?”

“I—” Jeonghan stopped and turned back, voice already cracking. “I… I wasn’t talking to you like you were some target I wanted to get in my bed or anything. I swear. I’m not a slut. I wasn’t a slut back in high school either, he’s lying. He’s really lying. I… I was just in that experimenting-with-boys stage and I only kissed like two guys total and Daeho’s the only one I ever actually… ever had sex with back then and he just spread all these rumors everywhere because I refused to sleep him again and he got mad and now everyone thinks I was some kind of campus whore but I wasn’t, I really wasn’t, I was just stupid and young and thought maybe someone actually liked me, but it was just him being gross and telling everyone exaggerated shit to make himself look cool and I hate it…and after a while everybody already had an opinion of me, so it didn't matter what I said. They'd already decided who I was. I know it sounds ridiculous that I still care after ten years, but it sucks hearing the same story repeated over and over when it isn't even true…and I just...I just didn't want you standing there thinking I was talking to you because you were some challenge or some target or whatever. I just thought you seemed nice…. I wasn’t trying to take you into some classroom and drop to my knees for you. I don’t even know if you are into men, but um that’s not the point. The point is, you went to the same school, you must have heard the rumors too and maybe that’s why you’ve been trying to get away all night. I’m just saying I don’t…I…I am not a slut.”

His breathing was all shaky and pathetic, the kind that made him sound like he was two seconds away from full meltdown.

“Okay” Seungcheol nodded. “It’s okay. He was being a jerk. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Honestly? Even if you had sex with 50 boys in high school while experimenting, it wouldn't be something to be ashamed of. He was trying to embarrass you. That's what made it gross. Not whatever he was talking about.” 

That only made the tears worse. Jeonghan’s shoulders curved as another round spilled over. He tried wiping them away with the back of his hand, but it was useless. Everything felt too raw, too exposed, like Daeho had ripped open an old wound and Seungcheol was now standing there politely watching him bleed.

His legs felt like jelly. He slid down the wall until his ass hit the cold floor, knees pulled up like he could somehow hide behind them.

Seungcheol crouched down in front of him and noticed how Jeonghan was shaking and crying.

“Hey look at me.”

Jeonghan looked up with wet, blurry eyes.

Seungcheol smiled. “I’m bad at counting, can you help me?”

“Huh?”

“How many ceiling lights are above us?”

“What?”

“How many?”

“Why?”

“Just answer.”

Jeonghan looked up. The stupid round lights blurred together. “Six.”

“You sure?”

“No…”

“Count again.”

Jeonghan sniffled and counted properly this time. “Eight.”

“Good job. That’s the right answer”

Jeonghan wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand and sniffled again.

Seungcheol pointed toward a framed photograph hanging on the wall a little further down the hallway. “What color is that boat?”

Jeonghan glanced over. “Blue.”

“Good job.”

“Am I five years old?” Jeonghan muttered “Because this feels like something you'd do with a five year old.”

“Maybe” Seungcheol smiled.

Jeonghan chuckled.

Seungcheol’s smile grew even softer. “Look at you. You already stopped crying.”

“Yeah…” Jeonghan mumbled, wiping his eyes again with the back of his hand

Seungcheol tilted his head. “You do realize you wipe your eyes like kids do, right?”

Jeonghan immediately groaned and dropped his forehead onto his knees. 

Not only had he cried in front of the hottest man he'd seen in years, he'd apparently done it in the exact same way as a 5 year old who'd just lost a fight with a juice box.

“Shut up” he mumbled into his jeans. “I'm having a crisis here. Let me wipe my eyes however I want.”

Seungcheol just chuckled quietly, that low sound that made Jeonghan’s stomach do stupid flips even while he was busy dying. “Take your time.”

Jeonghan wiped his eyes on his knees like an actual child because apparently that was his brand tonight. 

“Can I get a sticker if I stop crying?”

Seungcheol chuckled again. “If I had one, I’d give it to you, buddy.”

Oh no. He really really loved this cute doctor. 

It was kinda embarrassing how fast his brain was attaching itself, but also, have you seen him? The way he crouched there all patient and gentle like Jeonghan was one of his tiny patients? Criminal. 

But also the kid-zoning was a little painful. 

Seungcheol spoke again. “By the way, I wanted to be a guitarist.”

“What?” Jeonghan looked up fast.

“We were talking about dream jobs before we got rudely interrupted,” Seungcheol said, smiling a little. “I remembered. I had this whole dream that I wanted to be a guitarist. I even learned for a while but I was terrible…like, really bad.”

“Oh” Jeonghan smiled. “I can play guitar ! I can teach you !”

“Woah, you can play guitar? That’s so cool !” 

“Yeah ! When I was a teenager I really thought I’d be part of some world famous band by now but that dream just died slowly like all my other dreams. Very tragic.”

Seungcheol was about to say something when his phone started ringing. 

He pulled it out, squinted at the screen. “Excuse me for a second. It’s a patient’s mom.”

He picked up the call. “Hello? Mrs. Kim? Is everything okay with Yoojun?”

Jeonghan could faintly hear the lady on the other end “I’m sorry to call you Dr.Choi but yoojun refuses to sleep and he’s demanding to speak to you.”

“Oh sure, let me speak to him.”

“Thank you” she handed the phone to her son. “Yoojun here’s the doctor.”

Then came a kid’s voice. “Dr. cheolllieeee~”

Doctor Cheollie. Oh my god. Kill me right now. I’m going to combust. This is too much.

“Heyyyy buddy” Seungcheol’s voice so soft. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”

The kid immediately started complaining. “My tummy hurt today in school…”

“Oh no” Seungcheol said gently. “Did you eat something bad?”

“Nooo” Yoojun whined. “I was talking to Yuri.”

“Who’s that?”

“She’s the prettiest girl in the galaxy!”

“Woah!? The entire galaxy!?” Seungcheol gasped. 

“YEAH !”

“What happened when you were talking to her?”

“She was showing me her drawings.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And she was smiling and my tummy got all weird.”

“Oh no ! How weird are we talking?”

“Really weird.”

“Hungry weird?”

“No.”

“Tingly weird?”

“YES !”

Jeonghan buried his face in his hand. Oh my God. The poor kid had a crush.

Seungcheol was clearly trying not to laugh. “And then what happened?”

“I forgot how to talk.”

“That's serious.”

“I KNOW !”

“What were you trying to say?”

“I was gonna tell her drawing was pretty.”

“Okay.”

“But then I accidentally said her hair smells like chocolate.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Honestly, that could've gone worse.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“You could've barked.”

Yoojun giggled. “I don’t bark. I am a boy.”

“Good” Seungcheol smiled.  “let me ask you something. Did Yuri stop talking to you after that?”

“No.”

“Did she look upset?”

“No.”

“Did she laugh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well there you go.” Seungcheol smiled. “It’s not bad.”

“Why did my tummy hurt?”

“It’s butterflies” Jeonghan said without thinking.

Yoojun gasped. “Oh my god who’s that ? I have butterflies in my tummy !? ahhhhh !”

Seungcheol closed his eyes with a scrunch and in Jeonghan’s defense he didn’t think yoojun would hear that.

“DR. CHEOLLIEEEEE ! I HAVE BUTTERFLIES INSIDE ME !? HOW MANY!?”

“No no no, buddy.”

“ARE THEY BIG!?”

“No.”

“ARE THEY EATING MY BODY !?”

“No yoo–”

“I'M GONNA THROW UP BUTTERFLIES !”

“You are absolutely not going to throw up butterflies.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW!?”

“Because I'm a doctor. I’ve always been correct. Right?”

“Right…”

“butterflies aren't actually inside your stomach. That’s just excitement.”

“Huh?”

“You really like Yuri, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When you get really happy around a pretty girl your body gets confused and puts all those feelings in your tummy.” 

Jeonghan watched Seungcheol while the kid thought about it.

God.

This man was good at this…not just with medicine…but also with people. There was something incredibly gentle about the way he explained things.

Yoojun finally spoke again. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“So my tummy was excited?”

“Exactly.”

“Ohhhhh.”

Seungcheol smiled.

“Dr. Cheollie?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“When you were little, did your tummy get excited too?”

“of course it did”

“Who was the prettiest girl in your galaxy?”

“You know what, I'll answer all about it tomorrow, if you sleep now”

“...Okay.”

“Good.”

“Byeeeeeee, Dr. Cheollieeeee.”

“Goodnight, buddy.”

The call finally ended.

Jeonghan smiled, “Who was the prettiest girl in your galaxy? Bet she was really pretty.”

“Boy” Seungcheol corrected, still smiling as he stood up. “Yeah, my first love. Very magical.”

Okay great! He’s into boys! Yes! Massive win. Thank you universe, I take back every complaint I had tonight.

“Did you date?” Jeonghan asked, standing up.

Seungcheol nodded.

Jeonghan grinned wider. “I would love to talk about it !”

Seungcheol smiled, “I'd love to talk about it too. But I really gotta use the bathroom. Can you wait?”

“Yeah sure. I have to go find my friend first anyway. Wonder what he did to Daeho.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Your friend seems pretty cool. That headlock with a smile? That was awesome.”

“Oh… yeah. Super cool,” Jeonghan said, trying not to sound bitter. Of course he likes Shua. Everyone loves Joshua. He’s perfect and charming and doesn’t accidentally eat sushi or cry on the floor like a disaster.

“I’ll see you later” Jeonghan said, waving awkwardly before walking off.

God, it wasn’t just Yoojun who had a tingly tummy with butterflies. Jeonghan had the butterflies and also the whole damn zoo.

★

When he finally spotted Joshua in the crowd, he ran over. “Hey, what happened with Daeho?”

Joshua took a sip of his drink and casually showed his knuckles. They were bruised.

“Oh my god ! You punched him!”

Joshua smiled sweetly. “Punched him twice in the parking lot. Don’t worry. He’s gone now.”

“JOSHUA !”

Joshua shrugged. “He deserved three.”

Jeonghan immediately hugged him.

Joshua nearly spilled his drink. “Whoa.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You punched him for me.”

“Yup”

“You're my favorite person.”

“You’re my favorite person too” Joshua gently shoved him away. “Sooo what happened with the cute doctor?”

“I cried in front of him” Jeonghan groaned. “Got way too emotional and rambled about how the rumors were wrong. Then he calmed me down like he calms down a kid. He totally kid-zoned me. Then some patient called him and he talked so adorablyyyyy.”

“Yeah, kids do talk adorably” Joshua said.

“Not the kid ! Kids are absolute demons. I was talking about Seungcheol. He spoke so adorablyyyyyy.”

“Isn’t that his job?”

“I want him.”

“He kid-zoned you.”

“I want him to husband-zone me” Jeonghan whined.

“You gotta up your flirting game…and I don’t mean eating sushi? Like what the fuck was that? You once told me you’d rather die than touch it.”

“Yeah well, desperate times call for desperate measures!”

“Okay, anyway. Flirt better.”

“I don’t know how to flirt !” Jeonghan complained.

“Hold this.” Joshua shoved his drink into Jeonghan’s hand and started unbuttoning the top of Jeonghan’s shirt. “Show off your collarbones, please.”

“Okay okay, that’s enough” Jeonghan said, swatting his hands away. “I really don’t want him to think I’m a slut.”

“Relax.”

Jeonghan downed the rest of Joshua’s drink in one go like it was water.

“Roll up your sleeves” Joshua said, taking the empty glass back.

Jeonghan rolled them up obediently.

“Okay, much better” Joshua nodded approvingly. 

“Now tell me exactly what I should say to him. Word by word. I’ll do it.”

He was fully prepared to become a puppet if it meant not fucking this up again. At this point, dignity was optional.

“Word for word?”

“Yes”

Joshua smirked. “This is gonna be so fun”

“Oh god…that is an evil look.”

Joshua chuckled, “Okay, first of all, he’s still talking to you. That’s good.”

“The bar is in hell” Jeonghan muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s higher than you think” Joshua said, rolling his eyes. “He could’ve walked away after you embarrassed yourself the first time. He’s still here. He even helped when you cried.”

Great. My standards have dropped so low that basic human decency feels like a marriage proposal. Pathetic. I used to be the popular one. Now I’m celebrating the fact that a hot guy didn’t immediately run after I had a breakdown.

“Yeah, well, I also called him art, lied about loving sushi, and accidentally joined his phone call with a kid. My game is tragic.”

“Your game is chaotic” Joshua corrected, poking Jeonghan’s chest. “But he seems to find it entertaining. So when you see him again, don’t run away. Don’t ramble about the past. Just… be normal. Ask him questions. Let him talk about himself. Compliment him without sounding like you want to write poetry about him.”

“I can do that” Jeonghan said, nodding way too fast. Probably a lie. I absolutely cannot do that.

Joshua quickly grabbed a drink from the alcohol table. “Here. If you feel like you’re about to say something unhinged, just take a sip of your drink and count to three first.”

“Count to three. Got it.” Jeonghan repeated it like a mantra. “I really want him, Shua. Like… embarrassingly bad. He called a kid ‘buddy’ and talked about butterflies and I almost proposed on the spot.”

Joshua laughed. “Yeah, I can tell. You’ve got that dazed idiot look. Just don’t scare him off. Ease into it.”

“Ease into it” Jeonghan repeated. 

I can be chill. Totally chill. I was popular once. I know how to flirt somewhere deep down under all the layers of current-day disaster.

He glanced around the hall, heart picking up speed again when he spotted Seungcheol coming out from the bathroom area. The man was looking around like he was actually searching for him.

Oh god. He’s looking for me. Or maybe he’s looking for the exit. Both are equally likely.

Jeonghan tugged on Joshua’s sleeve. “He’s back. What do I do? Do I go now? Should I wait? Pretend I didn’t see him?”

Joshua gave him a gentle push. “Go. Be normal…and remember, collarbones out, sleeves up, and no more sushi.”

Jeonghan took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and started walking over. 

Please don’t let me ruin this more than I already have. Just one normal conversation. I can do this.

He definitely couldn’t. But he was going to try anyway.

~

When he finally got closer, Seungcheol caught his eyes and smiled.

Jeonghan immediately tripped over absolutely nothing.

He flailed for half a second, catching himself at the last moment like a baby deer on ice.

God. So embarrassing. Why is my body like this? I used to be graceful. I was a cheerleader, for fuck’s sake.

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol stepped closer.

Joshua had said count to three.

One…two…three.

Instead of speaking like a normal human, Jeonghan panicked and took a giant gulp of the drink. Half of it went down the wrong pipe and he coughed like an idiot.

Seungcheol tilted his head. “Are you really okay?”

“No” Jeonghan wheezed.

Really smooth, Yoon Jeonghan.

“I mean yes !” he corrected quickly, wiping his mouth. “Sorry. I was told to count to three before speaking.”

“Why…?”

“I don’t know”

Seungcheol glanced at the nearly empty glass in Jeonghan’s hand. “I think you’ve had enough alcohol for one night. Can you put it down?”

Oh no. Joshua had specifically told him to sip whenever he felt like saying something stupid. He couldn’t put it down. That was his emotional support beverage.

“No !” Jeonghan clutched the glass tighter like Seungcheol was trying to steal it.

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “Are you an alcoholic?”

“What? No!”

“Okay...”

Jeonghan groaned and rubbed his face.

“No, it's not like that. The drink has a job.”

“What job?”

“A very important job.”

“What job?”

“It stops me from saying dumb things.”

Seungcheol looked at the drink, then at Jeonghan. “Based on the evidence so far, it doesn't seem very good at that job.” 

“That’s so rude!” Jeonghan gasped and lightly hit Seungcheol’s arm without thinking.

Seungcheol looked down at the spot where Jeonghan had hit him, then back up.

Oh shit.

“I… I’m sorry I hit you.” Jeonghan mumbled. “It must have hurt” 

Seungcheol smiled. “You must be really drunk if you think that weak hit could hurt.”

Jeonghan gasped. “I can totally hit stronger than you, doctor!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

Seungcheol held up his hand, palm out like he was asking for a high-five. “Do it.”

Jeonghan high-fived him enthusiastically.

Seungcheol chuckled. “I meant ‘hit it’. Punch my hand.”

“Really?”

“As hard as you can. Let me see the strength.”

“What?”

“I sometimes do this with my patients. They find it entertaining. Do it.”

“You keep kid-zoning me !” Jeonghan stomped his foot like an actual toddler.

Seungcheol noticed the stomp. “And that was exactly—”

“Okay okay I’ll punch you !” Jeonghan cut him off. 

He slammed the drink down on the nearest table and punched Seungcheol’s palm with everything he had.

Seungcheol fought back a smile.

Jeonghan squinted. “What?”

“That was much weaker than I thought it would be. Kids punch better than you.”

“Tch.” Jeonghan clicked his tongue and held up his own palm. “Let me see your punch, doctor.”

“You’ll cry.”

“I won’t.”

“Okay.” Seungcheol swung his hand back.

“Wait wait !” Jeonghan yelled, panicking. “Um… maybe start with 50% of your force.”

Seungcheol chuckled and gave his palm a relatively gentle but still solid punch.

“Ow fuck—” Jeonghan hissed, immediately cradling his hand against his chest. “That hurt!”

“Oh no” Seungcheol said, reaching out to gently take his hand and examine it. “Did it break?”

“I’m not weak enough to break !” Jeonghan hissed, even though it actually stung pretty bad. 

Then, in his softest, most pitiful voice, he added, “But… um… it hurts, Dr. Cheollie.”

Seungcheol had a brain freeze. Jeonghan could see it in his face, like Seungcheol's brain needed an extra second to process being called that by a fully grown adult. 

Seungcheol cleared his throat and let go of his hand. “Ice it when you get home.”

Jeonghan frowned. “That's what you tell your patients? So serious. What do kids know about icing?”

“You don't think children know what ice is?”

“That's not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

Jeonghan waved vaguely with his still injured hand. “I mean if a kid comes crying because something hurts, surely you don't just stare at them and say, 'Ice it when you get home.'”

“What else do you want me to say?” Seungcheol crossed his arms.

“Something like ‘I'll kiss it better’ or something.”

“I’ll go to prison for that.” 

Jeonghan cleared his throat, “maybe…you can say that to adults”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “You want me to kiss your hand better?”

“What? No ! I mean yes? Wait, no. That’s not…I was just giving an example! A professional example. I can handle pain…mostly.”

He was rambling again. Shit where is the damn drink? 

Right he put it on the table? Shit Seungcheol was covering it. How do I reach it?

“What I meant” Jeonghan continued  “is that kids like reassurance, right? So if a kid falls over and scrapes their knee, you don't just stand there and go, 'Well. That's unfortunate. Apply pressure and monitor symptoms.' That's scary.” 

“Are you feeling scared cause I told you to ice your hand?” Seungcheol smirked.

Oh fuck off with that smirk. It’s unfairly attractive and I hate how well it works on me.

Jeonghan felt his face heat up instantly. “No! I’m not scared. I’m just saying…as a concerned citizen…that your doctor voice could use more… warmth. More Dr. Cheollie energy. The version you use on the phone is much better. The one that makes kids with tummy butterflies feel safe. That one.”

Seungcheol tilted his head, still smirking. “You really like that nickname, huh?”

“I—it slipped out” Jeonghan mumbled, suddenly very interested in the floor. “It’s cute. Sue me. You can’t be called Dr. Cheollie by tiny kids and expect grown adults to not want in on it.”

Seungcheol gently took Jeonghan’s hand again, thumb pressing lightly against the sore spot in a way that made Jeonghan’s brain go fuzzy. 

“Does it still hurt, buddy?”

Jeonghan’s heart did a violent somersault. He really used that soft gently voice. I’m going to pass out. This is the best moment of my life and also the most humiliating.

“A little” he answered in the softest voice. “But it’s much better cause you used that voice.”

Seungcheol chuckled and let go.

“Anywayyyyy” Jeonghan rushed, desperately changing the topic before he started begging for more medical attention. “Let’s talk about your first love? How long did you guys date?”

“Forget about the past” Seungcheol said, waving it off. “Tell me about you. Have you always been like this?”

“Like what?”

“Nervous rambling” Seungcheol said. “I didn’t know all the popular kids in high school, but I knew the type. Confident, loud, always like they owned the room. You said you were in the cheerleading team too, right? But you also just tripped like 10 minutes ago and also earlier when you were introducing yourself, you tried to lean on the chair and almost fell”

“Heyy…” Jeonghan muttered. “I tripped but I didn’t fall. That’s cheerleading talent”

“Uh-huh”

Seungcheol gave him a look like he didn’t want jokes.

Jeonghan sighed. “High school was easy…People kind of decided what I was before I even had to try. I was pretty, I was popular, I could talk my way into anything, so everyone just… filled in the blanks for me. Confident. Funny. Untouchable.…and when everyone already believes that about you, you don’t really have to become it. You just… repeat it back to them until it sounds real.” 

Seungcheol listened attentively.

“It’s easier to be confident when nobody questions it,” Jeonghan added, rubbing the back of his neck. “When people are already kind of… looking at you like you’ve got it together. You just lean into it. Smile, laugh, say the right thing, and everyone claps for you like you’re doing something impressive when really you’re just… existing correctly…and then you grow up and realize nobody is actually clapping anymore…and if they are, it’s because you’re doing something weird, not something good.”  

He smiled sadly.  “There are people who absolutely peaked in high school and then became so irrelevant and awkward later. I’m one of those.” 

Seungcheol shook his head. “Being awkward isn’t that bad”

Jeonghan scoffed. “Easy for you to say. You’re so well put together. You’re like the ideal perfect kid of Asian parents and then also like the perfect husband candidate. Seriously, how many people have proposed marriage to you?” 

Seungcheol chuckled. “Proposed marriage? That’s dramatic.”

“Totally not dramatic” Jeonghan shot back. “If I had a ring right now I would absolutely get on my knee and propose to you.”

“Wow” Seungcheol smirked. “That was very confident of you.” 

“It was hypothetical,” he said quickly, like that fixed anything. “Purely theoretical. Like a… social experiment to test reactions.” 

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah.”

“You were testing me…with a marriage proposal.”

“Yes.”

Seungcheol tilted his head, “what if I say no to the hypothetical proposal?”

Of course that was the follow-up question. Of course.

Jeonghan looked down at his hands, and spoke with a pout. “I’d be very emotionally devastated…like, catastrophic levels. I’d probably cry about missing the potentially best husband in the world.” 

Best husband in the world. Jesus. Someone should revoke my speaking privileges.

But then Seungcheol laughed. “How would you know I'm potentially the best husband in the world. You don’t know anything about me except that I'm a doctor.”

“Hmm” Jeonghan said. “I’ve read enough romance books about arranged marriages. They just get married and figure it out.”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “Oh so you’re suggesting we get married and figure it out?”

There was a full second where Jeonghan’s brain just… stopped.  He  knew for a fact his face turned extremely red.

“I… uh…” he started, then immediately hated how unhelpful that was. “I mean… I mean, for the social experiment… it does sound… um… good.”

Seungcheol stared at him for a second, then slowly shook his head like he was trying not to laugh

“Wow okay, so for social experiment purposes, tell me what would be your husband duties other than being awkward and complimenting my face and shoulders and tripping over air.” 

“I would be a great husband.”

“Based on what?”

“Based on vibes !”

“That’s not a qualification”

Jeonghan took a deep breath. It’s now or never Jeonghan, behave like a very amazing potential husband. Impress him. 

“I would be very sweet…I would also not be emotionally annoying. I mean I would try. I would support you…like actual support, not just saying ‘ice it’ and walking away. I would… I don’t know… make sure you’re fed? That seems like a husband thing. I can cook a little. Not well, but survivably.” 

Seungcheol smiled.

Jeonghan continued. “I would listen to you talk about your day even if it’s boring. Not that it would be boring. I’m sure it’s very medically interesting…and I would not punch you unless absolutely necessary”

“Wow”

“So basically I would be responsible. Emotionally stable. Slightly less embarrassing than I am right now, which is a low bar but still a bar…and I would probably make you laugh, which I think is important in a husband, right? Laughing? That feels like a husband requirement or at least it should be.” 

He paused, scratching his chin lightly like he’d suddenly become aware of his own words.

“ I’d remember things you don’t think matter…like if you mention something once, like some random food you liked when you were a kid or a place you went once and forgot about it, I’d remember. I think that’s kind of… husband behavior.”

God Seungcheol was still listening.

Jeonghan didn’t know how to stop. “And I’d make things feel… easy, I guess…like after a long day you wouldn’t have to switch into another version of yourself. You could just exist. You could be tired or annoyed or quiet and it wouldn’t feel like you have to fix it or explain it. I’d just… be there. Not in a clingy way…in a normal way…asafe way.” 

He gave a small, awkward laugh.

 “ I’d probably leave stupid notes,” he added quickly, trying to lighten it again. “Like ‘eat something’ or ‘don’t die at work’ or whatever. Very romantic, very poetic. You’d love it. Doctors spend all day taking care of someone else, they should be taken care too, right?”

Seungcheol didn’t respond.

Jeonghan looked into his eyes, “and I'd really really love you.”

Seungcheol stared at him for a few seconds. 

“…Anyway” Jeonghan muttered. “That’s my professional husband application. Please review it generously.” 

Seungcheol didn’t respond.

Jeonghan took  a breath. “It was very basic wasn’t it?”

“Have you ever been in a serious relationship before?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Answer me. I wanna know if you actually did all of this stuff or just made it up for a fake scenario.”

“I…yeah i’ve been in a relationship…did all of this stuff….we dated for like 3 years. He dumped me a few years ago.”

“Why would someone break up with you?” Seungcheol asked softly.

Jeonghan looked at him.

Seungcheol cleared his throat, “I mean…you just explained yourself like a perfect partner, someone had that and still dumped you?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “He didn’t appreciate it. Thought it was too much. It was also a um…very toxic relationship. So yeah…it ended but i’m not gonna change my way of loving just cause someone called it too much. Well….I'll try not to change my way of loving.”

“You shouldn’t” Seungcheol said.

Jeonghan smirked, “are you saying yes to my proposal? You like me as a husband?”

Seungcheol shook his head with a smile. “You don’t know what kind of husband I would be.”

“What kind of husband would you be?”

“I think you’re imagining a very… polished version of me” Seungcheol smiled. “Like I have my life together, I cook perfect meals, I remember anniversaries, I say all the right comforting things at the right time.” 

Jeonghan nodded slowly. “Yes. That is exactly what I am imagining. Please don’t ruin it.”

“Yeah, well,” Seungcheol scoffed “I probably forget anniversaries. Not on purpose. I just… forget dates exist unless someone tells me three times. I’d probably eat instant noodles way more than I should…like, a concerning amount…and I’d leave cups around the house and forget where I put them, then spend ten minutes looking for them while they’re literally in my hand.”

Jeonghan stared at him. “That sounds like a crime.”

“It gets worse, I don’t think I’d be very smooth either. I’d probably say the wrong thing when you’re upset and then realise it too late and just stand there like an idiot trying to fix it and I don’t always notice things immediately. If someone’s sad, I might not catch it right away. I’d figure it out later and then feel bad about missing it.”

“Oh…”

“And,” Seungcheol added, glancing at him like he was debating whether to continue, then apparently deciding to commit fully, “I can be stubborn…like actually annoying. If I think I’m right about something, I won’t let it go easily. I’ll argue about dumb things like directions or whether something is fine when it’s clearly not fine. I’d probably drive you insane.”

Jeonghan sighed. “Wow. That is not the advertisement I was expecting.”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I’m also not great at expressing things properly. I don’t always say what I mean in a nice way. I save all my nice guy behaviour to kids.”

That was… unexpectedly honest…not cute doctor energy…just… human.

“So yeah” Seungcheol smiled, “not very perfect husband material. Probably a bit frustrating.” 

Jeonghan cleared his throat, “Can you excuse me for one moment? Also if you wanna go talk to your other friends you can go talk to them. I don’t want to keep you occupied and if you still want me to keep you occupied then maybe just… sit somewhere? My legs hurt. Let’s have a seated conversation from now on.”

He didn’t even wait for a response. Which, honestly, was probably for the best. He turned and ran away.

Jeonghan found Joshua walking into the bathroom hallway.

He ran over to him and grabbed his arm from behind.

Joshua reacted on instinct, swinging his hand up like he was about to fight for his life in a dark alley, and Jeonghan barely dodged it.

“It’s me!” Jeonghan hissed.

Joshua dropped his hand. “Jesus Christ, don’t grab me like that. I almost rearranged your face.”

“Sorry, sorry” Jeonghan rushed out, already vibrating. “I have a crisis. I need something. Right now.”

“What?”

“Give me one of your rings.”

“What?”

“I want to propose to Seungcheol right fucking now.”

“You drunk idiot !”

“I’m serious !” Jeonghan insisted. “He just told me about how messy he’d be as a husband and I fell in love like actually not metaphorically. He’s starting to look human, a little cutely imperfect, and I must wife him up immediately before I lose my chance.” 

“Let me get this straight.” Joshua tilted his head. “A guy told you about his imperfections and you ran away from him?.”

“...yes?”

“He thinks you hate him.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

Jeonghan slapped a hand over his face. “Oh my God ! Why am I like this !? why did I run to you?”

“I should honestly disappear from this reunion” Joshua muttered. “This is like taking a kid to their first day of school. Running to mommy for every emotional inconvenience. I cannot be your emotional emergency contact all night.” 

“Please don’t call yourself mommy.”

“Mommy” Joshua pointed at himself.

“Disgusting” Jeonghan said , already yanking a ring off Joshua’s hand.

“Hey, that’s expensi—”

“Thank you” Jeonghan turned and ran away.

He returned back to the main hall and saw Seungcheol sitting alone at one of those tables just looking down.

Oh shit. Did I upset him? Gotta fix it immediately.

He ran over to him and sat down beside him. 

He placed the ring on the table. “MARRY ME CHOI SEUNGCHEOL !”

Oh my fucking god ! Why did I say that !? Is this what you call fixing ? you moron !

Seungcheol took the ring and put it on his finger, it got stuck halfway.

“It doesn’t fit.” he said in a deep voice.

Jeonghan’s mind immediately went to something filthy. What if he said the exact same thing while trying to get inside me? 

Fuck. No. Bad thoughts. Evil thoughts. Shut up, brain, this is not the time.

“Okay,” he said too quickly, “It’s just the ring is small and your fingers are big obviously, not that I was expecting you to have small anything, I’m not thinking about your anything, I’m just saying Joshua’s ring is not your size, which is fine, people have different sizes, that’s normal, that’s biology” 

He wanted to smack himself in the face. Biology? Really? You absolute disaster. Now he definitely thinks you're picturing his dick. Which, to be fair, you are, but he doesn't need to know that.

“Interesting save” Seungcheol finally said. He put the ring back down on the table. “So... this is your proposal technique? Steal a ring, yell at me to marry you, then panic about finger sizes?”

Jeonghan groaned and dropped his forehead onto the table. “I hate myself. This is why I should not be allowed to talk to people. My brain just... evaporates.”

Seungcheol chuckled softly. “You're really something, Jeonghan.”

“Something terrible?” Jeonghan peeked up without lifting his head, one eye squinting at him. “Be honest. On a scale from normal human to walking embarrassment, where am I?”

Seungcheol leaned back in his chair. “Solid seven. Maybe an eight if we count the biology rant.”

“Eight is generous. I was going for a solid eleven.” Jeonghan sat up straight again. “Look, the proposal was... mostly hypothetical. Like 70% joke 30% me having a full mental breakdown. Please ignore everything.”

Seungcheol smiled and grabbed a water bottle from the table and handed it to him. “Here, I got you water after you ran away. Drink some, you’re probably dehydrated from all the rambling.”

Jeonghan took the bottle and felt his whole heart do a flip. Wow. He actually got water for me. After I ran away like a lunatic

“Thanks,” he mumbled, actually smiling for once instead of panicking. He twisted the cap off and took a long drink. 

Okay, maybe he was a little dehydrated. Rambling took a lot out of a guy.

His eyes accidentally drifted down. Seungcheol was sitting right beside him, legs spread casually in that way guys do, and holy shit. Those thighs looked massive. 

God, they looked so big and strong…like they could probably crush a watermelon or pin someone down without even trying. 

Fuck. Stop staring ! Stop !

He forced his gaze back up quickly. “This water is... really good....very watery. Excellent choice.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “You okay? You look a little red again.”

“Perfectly fine,” Jeonghan lied, gripping the bottle. “Just... appreciating your hydration skills. Very husband material. Ten out of ten.”

He was so screwed.

“Anywayyyyyyy” Jeonghan smiled. “Do you play sports? Are you an athlete? You couldn’t have been an athlete in school. I would have known, ya know being the cheerleader and all. I would have definitely known a jock.”

“I was not a jock, god no.” Seungcheol chuckled. “I don’t really play games. But I do some boxing and Judo.”

Judo…oh no. Oh no no no.

Jeonghan’s brain immediately supplied a very unhelpful montage. Seungcheol pinning someone to the mat. 

Those thick thighs wrapping around someone’s waist. His big hands gripping wrists, controlling every move. Jeonghan on his back, breathing hard, looking up at that focused face while Seungcheol’s body pressed him down. 

Fuck. 

He could probably manhandle me so easily. Throw me around. Hold me in place until I’m shaking and begging and—

“Boxing?” he gasped. “That’s why you punched me so hard.”

“That was not even 50% by the way.” Seungcheol chuckled.

Jeonghan rubbed his face. “Judo…hmm…I’ve alwaysssssss wanted to learn it ! I’m soooo passionate. Will you teach me?”

God, he sounded pathetic. Like the world’s most obvious pick-me girl. He was basically handing out a flashing neon sign that said 'please manhandle me, sensei.' 

This was textbook How Not to Flirt 101 and he was writing the damn book.

Seungcheol leaned back a little, arms crossing over his chest in that unfairly attractive way. 

“You? Passionate about Judo? You almost cried after mildly getting hurt”

“I can change!” Jeonghan insisted, leaning forward. “I’m very motivated. Extremely teachable. I learn best with hands-on lessons. Lots of hands-on”

His brain was screaming at him again. Shut up. You are not subtle. You are the opposite of subtle.

Seungcheol stared at him with one eyebrow raised

Jeonghan rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling exposed. “Did I say something weird again?”

Seungcheol nodded. “Yeah. I’m putting you on a timeout. Stay silent for ten seconds.”

Jeonghan’s mouth fell open. A timeout? 

“Fine whatever. Ten seconds. Got it. I can do that. I’m very good at silence. People always say I’m mysterious when I shut up.” 

“Why is your mouth still moving?”

Jeonghan pouted hard and looked away

God, why does discipline sound hot coming from him? I used to hate this shit as a kid. Teachers, coaches, parents, bosses, everyone trying to shut me up and now this man says “timeout” in that deep voice and my brain is turning it into something filthy. What is wrong with me? When did I become like this?

At around second six, he gave up entirely.

“I don’t like this game” he mumbled.

Seungcheol chuckled. “You lasted six seconds. So close.”

“Timeouts are cruel and unusual punishment.”

“Uh-huh.” Seungcheol smirked. “Try being quiet for ten more seconds. Think you can handle it this time?”

Jeonghan opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it shut again. He gave Seungcheol a defiant little glare and started counting in his head.

One. Two. Three…

This is stupid. I’m a grown man. Why is this turning me on? Why do I want him to put me in an actual timeout? Like… pin me somewhere and make me stay still until I behave. Fuck. Brain, please stop.

By second four his leg was already bouncing under the table.

Seungcheol noticed, of course. “Stop moving.”

Jeonghan let out a frustrated whine but forced his leg still.

He was never going to survive this man. Not even a little bit.

Seungcheol finally spoke. “You can talk now.”

“Thank god” Jeonghan muttered, slumping back in his chair. “I was dying. You’re mean when you want to be.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “You were the one who kept talking after I said timeout.”

“Yeah well, you’re the one who gave me a timeout. That’s basically bullying.”

Seungcheol just smiled and took a sip of his water. Jeonghan watched him for a second, then looked away. 

The guy made everything feel so easy. Like he wasn’t even trying and still came out on top. It was annoying and attractive…mostly attractive.

Jeonghan looked at him. “You’re really calm about everything. Does anything rattle you?”

“Plenty of things”

“Like?”

“Why would I answer that?” Seungcheol asked. “Never tell strangers your weakness. It gives them an easy way to take you down.”

“What a great advice to give someone who just spoke to you without any sort of filter.”

Seungcheol smiled and looked away.

Jeonghan scooted closer. “I’m sure you’ll get rattled if you’re with someone you’re attracted to or if you have a crush on.”

“Crush?” Seungcheol chuckled. “What are we? Kids?”

“Crushes has nothing to do with age !” Jeonghan smacked the table. “What else do you say then?”

“Developing interest maybe?”

“Ugh” Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Just say ‘crush’ it’s cute.”

“Fine whatever.” 

“Hmm.” Jeonghan scooted his chair way too close now, practically in the guy’s space. “So what kind of people do you typically develop a crush on?”

“You’re asking who is my type?”

“Yeah.” Jeonghan nodded, way too eager. “My type has changed so drastically in these past ten years. Ten years ago I wanted a hot biker boyfriend who was older, popular, kinda bad boy vibes, you know? But now I want a calm, soft, good guy.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Ever since I was a teenager my type has been the exact same thing.”

“And that is?”

“People who are comfortable with themselves. Someone who’s pretty steady emotionally. Knows what they want out of life. Mature and someone calm too, I guess. Not unpredictable in a stressful way….just… normal and easy to be around.”

Ah. There it is. Of course. That explained why Seungcheol had been so calm and collected the whole night. He wasn’t interested.

I mean, Jeonghan did know that Seungcheol wasn’t interested but his type just confirmed it.

The guy wanted steady. Jeonghan was anything but.

“Sounds nice” he smiled. “Stable..mature. All that good stuff.”

Seungcheol shrugged. “It’s just what I’ve always liked.”

Jeonghan nodded, tapping his fingers on the table. “I can set you up with someone like that.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “You’re offering to set me up?”

“Yeah, why not? I ask people to set me up all the time !” Jeonghan shrugged. “I have some friends like that. They have their life figured out, they are emotionally stable, calm, also ambitious and interesting in a calm, wise way. Sometimes they all speak about sophisticated smart stuff I don’t even understand. You’d be into it right?”

“No thanks” Seungcheol said easily. “I'm not really looking for someone.”

“Oh.”

“And I'm definitely not desperate enough to let someone else find me a date.”

He said it so casually that Jeonghan knew he wasn't trying to be rude, but his stupid brain still grabbed the sentence and twisted it into something personal anyway.

Seungcheol cleared his throat. “I wasn't calling you desperate.” 

Jeonghan nodded and looked away, scratching at a spot on the table. “Um… earlier you said you were waiting for a friend to come. Did that friend ever show up?”

Seungcheol glanced around the hall. “Nope. He texted me ten minutes ago saying he’s on his way again. I have no idea where he’s coming from but whatever. He told me to wait, so I’m waiting.”

Jeonghan nodded. So he’s just killing time with me. Great. “And you were talking to a few other people earlier. They all left?”

“Some are still here, but I’ve already had my share of conversation with them.”

Jeonghan nodded again and stayed quiet. Seungcheol didn’t say anything either.

The silence felt awkward. He usually filled silence with nonsense, but right now his brain felt empty.

Then Seungcheol spoke. “I’m sorry if I offended you earlier with something I said.”

“I’m not offended” Jeonghan scoffed. “What would even offend me?”

“It’s up to you to decide” Seungcheol said, sounding sincere. “Even if it’s something small, I’m sorry. You got quiet.”

“No, it’s fine” Jeonghan said, waving it off. “I’m just silent because I was thinking of a topic to speak about.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Earlier you told me you can play guitar and thought you’d be in some world famous band. Why’d you give up that dream?”

“I wasn’t talented enough” Jeonghan shrugged.

“You were passionate about it, right?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Being passionate doesn’t get you anywhere. It doesn’t pay the bills. It’s fine, it was all a teenage dream anyway.”

Seungcheol smiled a little. “Teenage dreams aren't supposed to disappear that easily.” 

God, of course the pediatrician would say something hopeful. The man probably spent half his day convincing crying kids that the scary medicine would help and the other half convincing worried parents everything would be okay. 

It made sense that optimism came out of him so naturally. 

“It wasn't just disappearing,” Jeonghan said. “It was more like... reality slowly beating the shit out of it. I loved playing. I still do. Back then I genuinely believed I'd be on some huge stage one day. Stadium tours, screaming fans, dramatic wind blowing my hair around even though we'd obviously be indoors. Very realistic dreams.”

Seungcheol laughed.

“But then everyone around me started... getting somewhere.” Jeonghan shrugged. “Friends got jobs. People started paying rent. Parents started asking very reasonable questions like, 'So what's your actual plan?' And it turns out 'be famous somehow' isn't a convincing financial strategy.”

“So you stopped.”

“I had to.” Jeonghan looked down. “I still pick up my guitar sometimes. Usually at two in the morning when I suddenly convince myself I'm gonna change my life. Then I play for like 15 minutes, remember my fingers hurt, remember I have work the next morning, then I go to bed and become a responsible member of society again.”

“You still enjoy it though.”

“Yeah.”

“So why make it sound like you failed?”

Jeonghan blinked.

Seungcheol wasn't saying it in that motivational-speaker way people did when they were trying to fix someone. He sounded genuinely confused.

“I mean...” Seungcheol said. “Not everyone has to make money from the thing they love. If you still enjoy playing, isn't that dream still alive in some way?”

Jeonghan stared at him for a second.

Huh.

Nobody had ever phrased it like that.

It had always been success or failure. Famous or not famous. Worth it or pointless. He'd never really considered there might be an annoying third option where the dream simply... changed shape instead of dying.

“...That's such a doctor answer.”

Seungcheol frowned. “Is it?”

“Yeah.” Jeonghan pointed at him dramatically. “You doctors are all like this. Someone says one mildly depressing thing and suddenly you've got a healthier perspective ready to go. It's honestly very inconvenient.”

“I'll choose to take that as a compliment.”

“It wasn't.”

“It sounded like one.”

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Also you should be honoured that you’re the only doctor I like. I mean, I do respect doctor as a profession, I think it’s so cool and admirable and especially being a doctor for kids must be a little frustrating to deal with, but you seem cool. The pediatric doctor I had was not cool. He was awful”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “Awful how?”

“He was terrifying ! That man never smiled. Ever. He looked like every kid who walked into his office had ruined his day. Every appointment started with my mom going, 'Don't worry, he won't hurt you,' and then this guy would walk in looking like he absolutely wanted to.”

“I doubt he wanted to.”

“I was a kid, Seungcheol. His intentions were not my priority.”

“So what did he do?”

“What did he do?” Jeonghan repeated dramatically. “Everything ! He never explained anything. He'd just appear beside me, grab my arm, stab me with a needle, rub a cotton on it like that fixed the emotional damage, then tell my mom to buy cough syrup.”

“Oh”

“And one time,” Jeonghan continued, getting more invested by the second, “I cried because I was scared of getting vaccinated.”

“Reasonable.”

“You know what he said to me?”

“What?”

“'Boys don't cry.'”

“I hate when people say that.”

“You do?”

Seungcheol nodded. “Kids cry because they're scared. That's normal. Telling them not to cry doesn't make them less scared. It just makes them feel bad for being scared.”

God.

There he goes again.

Every single time this man opened his mouth about kids, Jeonghan's stupid little heart started doing cartwheels.

“I always tell them they can cry if they want,” Seungcheol continued. “I usually tell them my job isn't to stop the tears. My job is to help them feel safe enough that the tears eventually stop on their own.”

Well. That was... unfairly attractive.

Jeonghan nodded, “Good to know that there are good doctors for children. I refused to believe that all doctors are evil and now I’m being proven right.”

God, I sound so lame. He immediately wanted to take it back. Why did everything that came out of his mouth around Seungcheol feel like it was trying too hard? He was supposed to be chill. Cool. Not this eager mess who got excited every time the guy talked about his job.

Seungcheol smiled a little, the soft kind that made his eyes crinkle. “I don’t know if I’m that good. I just remember what it felt like to be the scared kid.”

“What were you scared of?” 

Seungcheol smiled. “Needles”

Jeonghan gasped “really? And you became a doctor”

Seungcheol chuckled, “I don’t stab myself right? I just make sure to inject kids extra carefully so it doesn’t hurt.”

“Hmm but we can still agree that needles are so evil, right?”

“They are not evil, they are necessary.”

“They are evil !”

Seungcheol chuckled, “okay okay they are evil”

And then, as if the universe got bored of the conversation, Seungcheol's phone rang on the table.

Jeonghan glanced at it first without meaning to.

There was a photo on the screen. A man smiling, pressed close to Seungcheol. 

The name was Hao ❤️ 

Oh. 

Seungcheol grabbed the phone and stood up. “I need to take this. Sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Go ahead” Jeonghan said, waving him off. 

Of course there’s a Hao with a heart emoji. Of course there is.

Seungcheol picked up the call and walked toward a quieter hallway so he could hear better. Jeonghan watched him go, trying not to look like he was staring. 

He stayed sitting there for a few seconds, then stood up, grabbed Joshua’s ring, and went to find Joshua.

Joshua was in the middle of talking to Soonyoung. 

Jeonghan grabbed his arm “I’m borrowing him.”

“Nooo” Soonyoung whined. “I was just explaining my new breakdance move.”

“How do you explain a dance move with words?” Jeonghan asked.

“Easy” Soonyoung said. “First you do a whoooshhh~” and waved his arms around, “And then you do a floor spiral situation and then your body goes like… boom-boom-bap and—”

“What part of the human body is boom-boom-bap” Joshua asked like he was actually curious.

“Ugh” Jeonghan groaned and dragged Joshua away.

They reached a slightly quieter corner before Joshua finally yanked his arm back.

“Okay,” Joshua said. “Spit it out. What happened now? Did you propose? Did you fall? Did you confess your entire soul again?”

“He told me his type, that’s not me at all. I hate it. I also like him more. Alsoooo there’s someone else”

“Someone else?”

“His phone rang and I saw a picture of him with some guy…like really close…like face-pressed-together close…and the contact name had a red heart. A RED HEART, Joshua.” 

“Oh shit, he has a boyfriend?”

“He did say he doesn’t have time for relationships.”

“So maybe this person is like a hookup situation or something.”

“If he’s hooking up with that guy then why would he save his name with a heart? No, that’s not it!”

“So it’s a boyfriend and he hid it from you to get your attention! How rude!” Joshua rolled up his sleeves. “I’m gonna punch him!”

Jeonghan grabbed Joshua’s arm before he could storm off. “No, don’t. He’s been really nice…like… too nice. That’s the problem. He listens and he’s gentle with kids and he remembers things and now there’s probably a boyfriend named Hao with a heart emoji and I’m just some chaotic guy he talked to for one night.”

He rubbed his face, feeling ridiculous. Why does this hurt so much? I barely know him. This is so stupid.

Joshua sighed and crossed his arms. “Okay first of all you’re so down bad for him, second you don’t even know who hao is, third, why are you already acting like you lost something?” 

“I don’t act that way” Jeonghan muttered 

Joshua raised an eyebrow. “Sure, and I’m a humble, emotionally stable man who never threatens violence in public.”

“Ugh everything just feels stupid.”

“Yeah. It is stupid.”

“Wow.”

“Not you,” Joshua clarified immediately. “The situation, your brain, yhe whole emotional spiral. It’s very stupid.”

Jeonghan nodded like he accepted the insult as comfort.

Joshua sighed. “Look, you don’t even know what his deal is yet. But I do know one thing. You are not ‘some chaotic guy.’ ”

“That’s literally what I am.”

“No” Joshua said firmly. “That’s what you act like when you’re scared someone won’t pick you.”

Jeonghan looked away “that…was deep”

Joshua shrugged. “It’s true.”

Jeonghan sighed. “So what do I do? Just… pretend I’m normal?”

Joshua snorted. “You? Normal?”

Jeonghan glared at him “Don’t help.”

Joshua smirked. “I’m not saying be normal. I’m saying stop assuming you’ve already been replaced in a story you’re not even in yet.”

“That’s very vague, I need step by step instructions.”

Joshua grabbed his shoulders. “BE YOON JEONGHAN”

“What?”

“Back in high school you were literally everyone’s type. You could have anyone you wanted. I know adult life’s a mess right now but you’re still Yoon Jeonghan. You were confident. And don’t tell me you were only confident because people believed you were confident. It’s not how it works. Even if that’s how it works, then just know that I believe you’re confident. So now you gotta be confident.”

Jeonghan stared at him. This is the worst pep talk in history…and somehow it’s working a little.

He let out a shaky laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but I’m right” Joshua said, shaking his shoulders a little. “Go be the guy who used to walk into rooms like he owned them. The one who made people nervous just by smiling. You still have that. You’re just scared to use it because you think you don’t deserve to be that way now”

Jeonghan rubbed his face. “I hate when you get all wise and brotherly. It makes me feel like I have to listen.”

“Good. Listen.” Joshua let go of his shoulders. “Now go find your doctor before he disappears.”

Jeonghan took a deep breath and started walking back toward the hallway where Seungcheol had gone. 

He spotted him pretty quick, leaning against a wall and talking to a couple of people, looking all calm and put together like always. 

Okay great. I don’t want to be desperate. 

He turned around and walked the other way instead, hands shoved in his pockets like that would hide how nervous he felt.

He ended up wandering down the familiar hallway, the one that led to the old music room. 

The place looked exactly the same, which was weirdly comforting and depressing at the same time. 

He pushed the door open and stepped inside, the faint smell of old wood and dust hitting him like a time machine. 

He walked slowly, fingers brushing over the edge of a desk, then a chair, then the corner of an old stand like his hands were remembering before his brain did. 

Then he saw a guitar.

Seungcheol’s words echoed in his head. 

Teenage dreams aren’t supposed to disappear that easily. 

If you still enjoy playing, isn’t that dream still alive in some way?

“Shut up,” he muttered, except it wasn’t clear if he was talking to Seungcheol or his own brain.

He climbed onto the tiny stage, picked up the guitar, and slung the strap over his shoulder.

He placed his fingers on the strings, rolling his shoulders like he was trying to shake off the version of himself that overthought everything now.

Then he closed his eyes.

And for a moment, it wasn’t this version of him in a loud reunion hall with too many feelings and too many problems.

It was simpler, lighter teenage version of him. He could almost feel that stupid naive confidence again 

His fingers moved.

A few notes came out shaky at first but then it started getting better.

For a minute he just played, letting the teenage version of himself take over, the one who believed he was going to be huge, who felt like the whole world was waiting for him. 

It felt good. Stupid and nostalgic and a little embarrassing, but good. 

He kept his eyes closed and kept playing, the notes filling the empty room, and for once he didn’t feel like he had to be anything except exactly who he was in that moment.

God, he used to live for this. Back when he was seventeen and the whole school thought he was going somewhere, when kids would actually stop in the hallway just to listen to him play during lunch or after practice. He could still picture it so clearly, the way they’d crowd around, cheering him on like he was already famous, like he was going to be the next big thing. 

It used to fuel him so much, that feeling of everyone believing in him, clapping and whistling and shouting his name like it meant something.

Those were the days, huh? When I actually thought I’d make it. 

The cheers in his head felt so real for a second, like he was back on that crappy little stage during some random talent show, guitar in his hands and the whole room looking at him like he hung the moon.

It was stupid how good it felt to remember that version of himself, the one who wasn’t scared of failing yet, who believed the world was just waiting for him to show up and be brilliant. He kept playing, eyes still closed, lost in it, letting the music fill up all the empty spaces he usually tried to ignore.

For once he wasn’t thinking about how irrelevant he felt now or how much he’d let that dream slip away. He was just playing, and it felt like enough.

He slowly stopped playing and then he heard claps. 

He opened his eyes and saw Seungcheol standing there, leaning against the doorframe, still clapping, smiling wide with those stupidly bright eyes.

Oh no.

Of course it’s him. Of course it’s not some random witness who will forget this in five minutes. It has to be Seungcheol, the one person whose opinion somehow matters more than it should, the one person who is already dangerously good at making Jeonghan feel like he’s being seen in a way that is both terrifying and kind of nice and absolutely unacceptable at the same time.

Oh god. Oh no. How long has he been there? Did he hear all of it? Fuck, I probably looked so stupid with my eyes closed like some wannabe rockstar who never made it. 

“Uh,” Jeonghan said, voice cracking like an idiot. “How long have you been standing there? Not that it matters. I mean it does but like, not in a weird way. I was just… you know. Nostalgia. Old habits. Stupid teenage dreams and all that. You probably think it’s pathetic, right? Grown man sneaking into the music room like he’s still waiting for his big break. I get it. I’d think it’s pathetic too if I saw me doing it.”

Seungcheol smiled and walked over to him, still looking way too happy about the whole thing. “It was awesome.”

Awesome? He’s lying. He has to be lying. Or he’s just being nice

Jeonghan laughed nervously. “Probably not as awesome as my teenage self. I had sooo many fans back then. Everyone used to come watch me play during breaks. Maybe you might have too.”

Seungcheol scoffed. “I was busy studying.”

“Ah, a nerd. Makes sense. But still, who said nerds weren’t my fans? They abandoned their little study sessions to come watch me play. I was that good. They were like sooo in love with me.”

“How do you know that? Have you spoken to them and they told you that or did you just assume that?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Who’d bother talking to all of my fans? But I gave flying kisses though. That gotta count for something.”

Seungcheol chuckled and Jeonghan felt it in his stomach. Stop laughing like that. It’s not fair.

“You said you had a dream of becoming a guitarist,” Jeonghan said, desperate to keep the conversation going before he said something even stupider. “Why did a nerd want that?”

“I’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a kid. I was studying all the time. My mom thought I was going insane from studying too much. She told me to go do something creative, some kind of art like dance or music. So I chose music. Guitar looked fun. I kinda enjoyed it but then I gave up too soon cause it was hard to learn and kept getting in the way of school work, which I was more passionate  about”

Of course his mother had to physically intervene because her son was studying too much. God. Imagine looking at your child and thinking, I'm actually concerned he's becoming one with his biology textbook. 

“Come here.” Jeonghan lifted the guitar slightly. “Maybe I can teach you.”

“Right now?”

“Yup.”

There wasn't even a second thought. He just wanted Seungcheol up here. On the stage. In his world for a little while. 

Seungcheol smiled, shook his head like he couldn't believe he was actually agreeing to this, then climbed onto the little stage.

Well.

That suddenly felt... close.

“Hold still.”

He slipped the guitar strap over his own head, then carefully lifted it over Seungcheol's shoulder instead.

“So,” Jeonghan said, taking a small step back before his brain started acting up again. “What do you remember?” 

“Pretty much nothing.” 

Jeonghan scoffed. “You remember like a hundred different medicines by heart and you can't remember this?”

Seungcheol tilted his head. “Are you a mean teacher?”

Oh right. Maybe that had sounded a little aggressive.

“No, no, no. I can be nicer.”

Could he? Questionable. 

He decided to pretend yes.

“Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Let's try again. Is there any chord you actually remember?”

Seungcheol looked down at the guitar, thinking for a moment.

“E minor.”

“Mhm.”

“And... C.”

Jeonghan smirked. “So... the two easiest ones.”

Then Seungcheol slowly looked at him. “Where exactly is this nice teacher you promised? Because this still feels a little mean.”

God.

He couldn't help laughing.

“No, you're right.” Jeonghan covered his face for a second, still smiling. “I'm sorry. That was rude.”

It really wasn't, though. It was barely rude. More like... mildly annoying. 

“Okay,” he said, dropping his hand again. “No more judging.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “I don't believe you.”

“You shouldn't.”

They both laughed.

Jeonghan pointed at the guitar.

“Go on. Play them for me.”

Seungcheol’s fingers awkwardly hesitantly settled on the guitar. He played the E minor first, then moved to C a little slower, watching his own hand like he was trying to remember directions to a place he'd visited a lifetime ago. 

“Okay not bad” Jeonghan nodded.

“Not bad sounds like I barely passed a test.”

Jeonghan scoffed, already stepping closer without thinking about it, “You did pass a test.”

He reached over and adjusted Seungcheol’s fingers without asking, gently pressing one down, shifting another like it was muscle memory instead of conscious thought 

It was weird, honestly, how fast everything else faded when there was music involved. Like his thoughts finally stopped running in circles and just… lined up for once.

“Okay, so this one,” Jeonghan said, tapping a string lightly, “don’t overthink it. Just press here. Yeah, like that. No, not so stiff, relax.”

“I am relaxed” Seungcheol said immediately, which was a lie 

Jeonghan snorted. “That is the least relaxed hand I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Seungcheol tried again and the chord sounded cleaner.

“Better” Jeonghan smiled.

They moved through a few more chords like that, Jeonghan guiding, correcting, occasionally nudging Seungcheol’s wrist or adjusting pressure without even thinking about it. 

Somewhere in the middle of it, he stopped feeling like a chaotic disaster of a person and started feeling annoyingly steady like he actually knew what he was doing. 

Seungcheol’s fingers were warm under his.

He kept his touch light, professional almost, but every time their skin brushed he felt it linger a second too long. Seungcheol didn’t pull away.

“Try this,” Jeonghan murmured. “Keep your finger here. Yeah… like that.”

Seungcheol strummed the chord and smiled. “Good?”

“Good”

“You’re a good teacher” Seungcheol said quietly

“You’re a good student. Patient. Most people get frustrated after two minutes.”

Seungcheol hummed. “Maybe I just like it.” 

Jeonghan sighed. “It makes me think you’re secretly good at everything and I hate that kind of person.” 

“I’m not good at everything.”

“Good,” Jeonghan said immediately. “Stay humble. It suits you.”

His fingers found Seungcheol’s again, guiding him into a new shape.

“Okay, this one’s going to feel weird at first,” Jeonghan murmured, eyes flicking between the strings and Seungcheol’s hand. “Your ring finger goes here. No, not there, here. Yeah, like that”

Seungcheol obeyed.

“Now strum.” Jeonghan said.

Seungcheol did it.

Jeonghan smiled. “See? That’s it. You’re getting better. You’re overthinking less.”

“You say that like you don’t overthink anything.”

Jeonghan snorted. “I don’t.”

Seungcheol raised a brow.

“…Okay I do” Jeonghan said, because lying felt pointless right now. “But not when I’m doing this.”

He tapped the guitar lightly, almost affectionately.

“This doesn’t give me time to be annoying in my head. It just… happens. You either play it or you don’t.”

Seungcheol nodded. “That sounds peaceful.”

“It is. When you stop trying to be perfect at it.”

He guided Seungcheol into another chord shape, this time letting his hand rest over Seungcheol’s longer than before, adjusting each finger with a little more confidence. 

“Okay, try this one” he said, voice picking up energy again as he moved them forward. “This one, then this one, then back. Don’t rush. Feel it.”

Seungcheol followed, a little slowly,  the sound starting to form something recognizable instead of random notes.

Jeonghan lit up a little at that. “Yes. That. You hear that shift? That’s music. That’s literally it ! yay !”

Seungcheol glanced at him again. “You get excited easily.”

“I get excited when things make sense,” Jeonghan corrected immediately, then grinned. “It’s rare, so let me have this.”

Seungcheol hummed like he agreed with something he wasn’t going to say out loud.

Jeonghan leaned in again, adjusting Seungcheol’s index finger gently. “No, keep it steady here. Don’t press too hard. You’re not wrestling it.”

“Not yet,” Seungcheol muttered.

Jeonghan laughed. “Please don’t start wrestling this guitar. I’m emotionally attached.”

“I can tell” Seungcheol said quietly.

Jeonghan didn’t respond to that. He just kept guiding him through the next change.

“Again,” Jeonghan said finally, voice calmer. “You’ve got it. Just trust your fingers.”

Seungcheol played it again.

This time it sounded right.

“Nice right?” Jeonghan grinned. “maybe you could become a guitarist too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah in like 10 more years of learning” he chuckled.

“Rude” Seungcheol said, but he was smiling wider now, eyes crinkling in that way that made Jeonghan want to do something stupid like lean in closer.

He looked at how close they were standing and how Seungcheol was smiling at him. 

Oh fuck. Why does he keep looking at me like that? Like I’m interesting. Like I’m not a walking disaster who cried in a hallway earlier. He’s gonna realize any second now. He’s gonna pull away and I’ll have to pretend it doesn’t sting.

Seungcheol shifted the guitar slightly. “This is what I meant. The passion is still alive in you, Jeonghan. You were just so passionate right now. It was nice to watch.”

Jeonghan scoffed. “It was nice to watch me not being embarrassing for once? You finally look at me like I’m a person and not just some funny little clown who says weird shit all the time.” 

“I wasn’t thinking that”

“Yeah?” Jeonghan’s mouth kept moving even though his brain was yelling at him to shut up. “Sounds like you are falling for me, Dr. Cheollie, just cause I showed my normal not-messy side for like five minutes. That’s what everyone did in the past. That’s what they do now. They meet the polished version first. Then eventually the rest shows up. Turns out the polished version clocks out pretty early. The other 95%  is just... me talking too much, overthinking everything, saying dumb things and making situations weird…and then people realize, 'Oh... he's actually kind of a lot.”

Why did I say that? Why do I always do this? I sound bitter and insecure and now he’s definitely going to think I’m too much. Great job, idiot. He wasn’t even interested to begin with and now you’re making it worse.

Seungcheol scoffed. “You think i’m somehow falling for you cause I saw a new side of you for like 5 minutes?”

“Of course not!” Jeonghan chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t expect you to fall for me or anything. You’re out of my league. I don’t even imagine that, like at all.”

Smooth. Real smooth. Now he knows you’ve been thinking about it. Idiot.

Before he could dig the hole any deeper, Seungcheol's phone started ringing. 

He pulled it out. Hao with a heart.

Jeonghan faked a smile. “Your boyfriend’s calling a lot”

“What? Not my boyfriend”

“Right, situationship or whatever kids call it these days.”

“He’s a friend.”

“Right. Friend with a heart.”

“I saved all of my friends like that.”

“As if ! Who does that—” Jeonghan’s phone rang and he pulled it out.

It was Joshua, and only then his idiot brain realized it’s a picture of Joshua and him hugging with a pink heart in the caller ID.

“Wow, hypocritical much?” Seungcheol asked.

Jeonghan ran out of the room, shut the door and moved away.

He picked up the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, you disappeared ! Did you leave already?”

“No, I’m still here!”

“Did you make progress with the doctor?”

Jeonghan leaned against the wall outside the music room, pressing his forehead against the cool surface. 

“What progress?” 

“What do you mean, ‘what progress’?” Joshua asked. “Did you kiss him?”

Jeonghan nearly choked. “What kind of progression scale are you using?”

“The correct one.”

“I taught him guitar!”

“Okay?”

“And hao guy is just a friend”

“Okay good ! he obviously likes you !”

“he doesn't like me.”

Joshua groaned so loudly Jeonghan had to pull the phone away from his ear.

“WHY?”

“Because…”

“No, don't explain. Every explanation you've had tonight has somehow made less sense than the previous one.”

Jeonghan pouted. 

“He literally spent almost the whole reunion talking to you.” Joshua said.

“He was waiting for his friend.”

“He followed you to the music room.”

“…Coincidence.”

“He let you teach him guitar.”

“He was being polite.”

“YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID !”

The music room door opened and Seungcheol walked out.

Jeonghan fumbled to end the call so fast he nearly dropped the phone. 

“Heyyyyyyyyyy” he drawled, straightening up way too quickly and flashing what he hoped was a charming smile but probably looked like a man having a stroke. “Sup. Long time no see.”

“…It’s been about thirty seconds.”

“Has it?” Jeonghan laughed far too loudly. “Wow. Time is an illusion.”

He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

“Soooooo” Jeonghan tried to change conversation

“So?”

“I feel like we keep accidentally abandoning conversations.”

“We do.”

“We're really bad at continuity.”

Seungcheol smiled. “You're bad at continuity.”

“That is incredibly targeted.”

“I've known you for...” Seungcheol pretended to think. “Three hours?”

“Rude.”

“And you've already run away from me” Seungcheol started counting on his fingers. “…5 times.”

“Only 5 ?”

“You're saying there were more?”

“I honestly lost count.”

Seungcheol laughed quietly.

God that laugh was so unfair.

Jeonghan decided this was a good time to change the subject before he accidentally confessed to wanting to preserve that laugh in a museum.

“So...” he said. “Your friend still isn't here?”

“He's almost here.”

“You trust him a lot.”

“I do.”

“You didn't even sound annoyed.”

“I don’t get annoyed often.”

Jeonghan tilted his head. “You don't get annoyed often?”

“Not really.”

“That feels fake.”

Seungcheol looked amused. “Why? What’s wrong with being a patient person.”

“No, you're too patient.” Jeonghan pointed at him. “People have been interrupting you all night. I've interrupted you all night. I've proposed marriage, accused your friend of being your boyfriend, a lot of other things too and—”

Seungcheol smiled “I get annoyed…just not very often.”

“So what does it take?”

Seungcheol thought about it.

“People being unnecessarily cruel.”

Jeonghan smiled “That annoys you?”

“Mhm.”

“Like?”

“If someone talks down to a child. If someone embarrasses a kid on purpose…or scares them because it's easier than explaining something.”

Jeonghan immediately thought about his old pediatrician.

Boys don't cry.

“…Yeah,” he said quietly. “I'd be annoyed too.”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I can understand people being tired or stressed or making mistakes but…”

“But?”

“But kids don't know the difference.”

There it was again. That stupid, gentle way he talked about children, like every tiny feeling they had deserved to be taken seriously.

God. It was ridiculously attractive.

“So,” Jeonghan said, trying very hard to sound casual again, “what about adults? What kind of adults annoy you other than the adults who talk down to children”

“You're asking whether you annoy me?”

“I am absolutely not asking that.”

“You are.”

“I am collecting research data.”

“For?”

“My future.”

Seungcheol laughed. “I don't think you've annoyed me once tonight.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“No, I don't think I did.”

“You haven't annoyed me.”

Jeonghan stared at him suspiciously. “That sounds medically impossible.”

“Why?”

“I've been talking stupid shit for hours”

“Yeah.”

“I've panicked.”

“Mmm.”

“I've proposed.”

“Mmm’”

“I've made a few weird comments.”

“A few?”

Jeonghan chuckled. “None of that annoyed you?”

Seungcheol shook his head. “No.”

“You're lying.”

“Why would I lie?”

“To make me feel better.”

“I don't really do that.”

“…That sounded colder than I think you intended.”

“I mean,” Seungcheol corrected with a small smile, “if something annoys me, I'd rather just say it.”

“…Oh”

“So if you were annoying me…”

“You'd tell me.”

“I'd tell you.”

This shouldn’t have been reassuring but somehow it was.

Because if Seungcheol really was the kind of person who simply said what he meant...then maybe...all the smiles tonight hadn't been fake either.

They stood there for another quiet moment.

Seungcheol glanced toward the direction of the hall before looking back at Jeonghan. “Should we go back?”

“Not really.”

“No?”

“We just keep getting interrupted.”

Seungcheol smiled knowingly. “More like you keep running away every time you see your friend.”

Jeonghan let out an embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “...Yeah, that too.”

There was a brief pause before he looked back at Seungcheol, suddenly feeling strangely self-conscious.

“But...” He hesitated, searching for words that didn't sound completely insane. “Your friend will probably be here any minute anyway, and…I'd kind of like to use that time to talk to you a little more. I've never really met someone like you before and I don't mean…...not just because you're ridiculously attractive. I mean... okay, that too, obviously. I'm not blind. But that's not what I meant. I’ve just…I've never had conversations like this with anyone. Every time I say something, you somehow answer in a way I've literally never thought about before.”

Seungcheol tilted his head slightly.

“You look at life... differently,” Jeonghan said. “Like when we talked about kids, or music, or dreams, or... literally anything, honestly. You keep saying things that make me go home in my head and rethink stuff I've believed for years.” He laughed quietly to himself. “It's actually kind of annoying. So…even though i’m an anti-social person. I'd just like to keep talking to you while I still can.” 

“Wow.”

“What?”

Seungcheol shook his head, still smiling. “I think...that might be the first genuinely composed thing you've said to me all night.”

“Excuse me?”

“No panicking. No changing the subject halfway through. No pretending it was a social experiment. You just... said exactly what you meant.”

“…Huh.”

“You even maintained eye contact.”

“Oh my god,” Jeonghan groaned, covering his face. “Don't point it out. Now I'm going to become self-conscious about being composed.”

“I can already see it happening.”

“You ruined it.”

“I don't think I did.”

“You absolutely did.” Jeonghan peeked through his fingers. “I was having my one mature moment of the year.”

“It was a nice moment.”

“It lasted twelve seconds.”

“Twelve good seconds.”

Jeonghan laughed despite himself, lowering his hands again.

“You know,” he muttered, “I think you're secretly mean.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. You have this... incredibly polite way of teasing people that somehow hurts more because you're smiling the whole time.” 

Seungcheol considered that for a second. “That’s possible”

“You admitted it!”

“I admitted it's possible.”

“That's practically a confession.”

Seungcheol just smiled, neither confirming nor denying it, and somehow that made Jeonghan laugh even harder.

Seungcheol glanced down the opposite corridor, the one stretching away from the gym where the reunion was still in full swing. 

He nodded toward it. “So... should we walk that way? Away from the crowd?”

Jeonghan stared at him.

“…You're serious? You're actually choosing to keep talking to me?”

“Yes.”

“Instead of going back and socializing with everyone else?”

Seungcheol looked mildly confused by the question. “…Yes?”

“Yay !” Jeonghan clapped his hands “This is doing wonders for my self-esteem.”

Seungcheol smiled as they started walking side by side down the hallway.

“…Your self-esteem is really, really low, huh?”

Jeonghan shoved his hands into his pockets, “…Let's not unpack that.”

“No?”

“No.” He shook his head firmly before looking back up with a small smile. “Let's just... take a peaceful walk instead.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “I can do that.”

They kept walking through the hallway, passing classrooms.

“You have peaceful memories here?” Seungcheol asked.

Jeonghan laughed “I mean... when there weren't classes. During lunch breaks, after school, before practice... those were fun. I was kind of the center of attention.”

“Kind of?”

“Okay.” He smiled shamelessly. “Very much the center of attention. There was a lot of fangirling…oh and also fanboying, let's be inclusive.”

Seungcheol laughed.

“So yeah,” Jeonghan grinned. “It was honestly pretty fun.”

He bumped his shoulder lightly against Seungcheol's. “But I bet it was even more fun for you…being a nerd and all.”

“Yeah, it was fun. Peaceful, mostly. Well, except the time when everyone was screaming for the popular kids and I couldn’t even focus on studying.”

Jeonghan laughed. “See? I knew it. We were terrible. Loud, chaotic, taking over the whole hallway like we owned the place. Sorry about that, by the way. Past me was kind of a menace….but present you seems weirdly okay with current-me chaos. Should I be suspicious?”

Seungcheol smiled. “I told you. If it bothered me, I’d say something.”

He keeps saying stuff like that so casually, like it’s nothing, like I’m not a walking disaster who keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Dangerous words, Doctor. I might test that theory.” Jeonghan grinned. “So tell me more about nerd Seungcheol. Did you hide in the library during lunch? Have secret study dates with textbooks? I need details so I can properly picture how much I probably ruined your focus back then.”

“You really want to hear about that?”

“Desperately”

“There’s not much to tell. I’d finish my lunch fast and I’d find a corner in the library or an empty classroom, put my headphones in, and try to get through the next chapter before the bell. Pretty boring compared to whatever spotlight you were living in.”

Jeonghan stopped walking. “You voluntarily studied during lunch?”

“Mhm.”

“You had free time and your first thought was...” He mimed opening a book. “‘Wow. Biology.’”

“It wasn't always biology.”

“Oh, my mistake.” Jeonghan nodded. “Sometimes chemistry.”

“Sometimes.” Seungcheol smiled.

“You know,” Jeonghan said, “I genuinely can't picture you getting into trouble.”

“I did.”

“What did you do?”

Seungcheol looked almost embarrassed. “I got detention once.”

Jeonghan gasped. “Oh my god !”

“It wasn't my fault.”

“Oh, they all say that.”

“It genuinely wasn't.”

“I don't believe you.”

Seungcheol laughed. “Chemistry teacher thought I was passing answers during a test.”

“You passed answers?”

“I was asking someone to stop kicking my chair.”

Jeonghan frowned. “…That's it?”

“That's it.”

“And you still got detention?”

Seungcheol nodded. “He thought I was whispering answers.”

“That’s so sad,” Jeonghan said, staring at him with genuine sympathy. “You got framed for academic crimes you didn't even commit. Somewhere out there is a guy who spent twenty years thinking, ‘Nice, Seungcheol took the fall for me.’”

Seungcheol laughed. “Nobody took the fall. The teacher told me next day that he'd misunderstood.”

“Oh.” Jeonghan deflated a little. “So justice prevailed.”

“Eventually.”

“Did he apologize?”

“He did.”

Jeonghan nodded thoughtfully. “...Okay, that's less tragic than I wanted.”

“You wanted it to be tragic?”

“I was building an entire backstory in my head,” Jeonghan admitted shamelessly. “I already pictured teenage you in detention sitting dramatically by the classroom window while it rained outside, thinking, ‘Nobody believes in me anymore.’”

Seungcheol chuckled. “Fun fact, it was actually raining that day.”

“Weird” Jeonghan muttered. “You still remember that day?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “It’s the only detention I’ve got. Of course I remember”

“That's actually adorable.”

Seungcheol frowned. “Getting detention?”

“No.” Jeonghan laughed. “The fact that your entire criminal record consists of one wrongful detention that happened during a rainstorm and you still remember it years later. Meanwhile, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.”

“You're assuming I remember breakfast.”

“You don't?”

“I don't.”

“Good.” Jeonghan nodded. “For a second I thought you had some terrifying memory where you remember every meal you've ever eaten, every patient's birthday, every page of every textbook you've ever read and every cloud formation from random Tuesdays.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “I do have good memory but I don’t waste it on remembering breakfast and most definitely not on cloud formations.”

“So there are limits.”

“There are limits.”

Jeonghan smiled. Fuck he really loved talking to this man.

They kept walking, passing classroom after classroom. Some doors were locked, others stood slightly open, revealing rows of old desks that looked almost untouched by time.

Then Jeonghan suddenly stopped.

“Oh.”

He reached out and pushed open one of the doors.

“This...” he smiled. “This was my classroom.”

He wandered a few steps in, fingers brushing over the edge of a desk near the back. 

“God, nothing’s changed. I used to sit right here, pretending to pay attention while secretly planning my next dramatic entrance to lunch. Feels weird being back without fifty people staring at me like I was the main character.”

He turned to see Seungcheol leaning in the doorway, watching him with that quiet, attentive look.

God, would he stop doing that?

It was so much easier when people were laughing or talking over him. This was worse. This was one person giving him their full attention, and for some reason that made him feel far more exposed than performing for fifty ever had.

“What?” Jeonghan asked, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “You keep looking at me like I'm about to reveal some fascinating piece of historical evidence.”

Seungcheol smiled. “I'm listening.”

“Well... stop listening so well.”

“I don't know how.”

Of course he doesn't.

Jeonghan laughed under his breath and looked away, pretending to inspect one of the desks just to give himself something else to focus on.

“So...” he said after a moment, clearing his throat. “Did you actually do anything in classrooms besides study?”

“I talked to my friends.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Other than that. Tell me something teenage Seungcheol did in a classroom that wasn't academically productive.”

Seungcheol smiled  “I used to draw in the margins of my notebooks.”

“You?”

“Mhm.” Seungcheol walked over and leaned against a table opposite to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan folded his arms. “You're going to have to elaborate, Doctor. Because right now I'm picturing tiny anatomical diagrams of the human heart.”

Seungcheol laughed. “They weren't anatomy.”

“No?”

“They were... mostly little comic strips with speech bubbles”

Jeonghan gasped and clutched Seungcheol’s arms. “Oh my god !”

Seungcheol glanced down at Jeonghan's hands, then back up at his face, looking more amused than alarmed.

“What's so gasp-worthy about that?”

“It's so cute!” Jeonghan practically whined. “You made comics? Tiny little comics?” He gave Seungcheol's arm an excited squeeze. “What were they about?”

Seungcheol looked almost embarrassed now. “It was... always the same guy…confessing his love in different ways. I came with a lot of different scenarios”

There was a full three seconds where Jeonghan's brain simply stopped functioning.

“Oh my God.”

“You already said that.”

“No, but this is a new oh my God ! That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my entire life! I thought nerd Seungcheol would've been drawing... I don't know... mitochondria…the powerhouse of the cell. See I’m smart. I knew that one.”

“I think everyone knows that one” Seungcheol chuckled.

Jeonghan grinned. “You weren’t drawing anything nerdy ! you were drawing about loveee? It’s so damn cuteeee! Wait, is this about your first love? No wonder you dated that person ! Who can ever say no to a guy like you that's devastatingly adorable.” 

Seungcheol shook his head. “I didn’t use any of those options I drew.”

“Why?”

“Cause it was stupid.”

“Do you remember some of those ideas?”

“Yes”

“Yay !” Jeonghan squeaked. “Tell me !”

“First, i’d appreciate it if you stop squeezing my hand. Kinda cutting off my blood flow buddy.”

Jeonghan blushed and shoved both hands into his own pockets. “Right. Personal space. I know that concept. I read about it once.”

Seungcheol rubbed his hand. “I'm sure you did.” 

“I did but I didn't retain any of it, apparently.” Jeonghan cleared his throat. “Anyway. Confession comics. I need details. This is now my favorite fact about you.”

Seungcheol looked oddly reluctant all of a sudden, like he'd accidentally revealed something he'd spent years forgetting.

“They weren't good.”

“I don't care.”

“They were embarrassing.”

“I care even less.”

“They were written by a teenager”

“That is literally the target audience for embarrassing confessions.”

Seungcheol sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a second before giving in.

“One of them was... two people studying together.”

“…That's it?”

“They'd both stay after school. The guy would slide a note across the desk.”

“What did the note say?”

Seungcheol rubbed the back of his neck. “…I don't remember exactly.”

“You're lying.”

“I remember.”

“I knew it!”

Seungcheol laughed quietly.

“It said…” He paused, looking almost embarrassed to say it out loud. “‘I think we've finished this chapter... do you want to start the next one with me?’”

Jeonghan blinked a couple of times.

That was the cutest thing he'd ever heard in his entire life.

“Oh my God.”

“I told you it was embarrassing.”

“No.” Jeonghan pointed at him accusingly. “No, it’s soooo adorable !”

“It was cheesy.”

“It was romantic! Well It was academically romantic! You somehow turned studying into flirting.”

“I’m already regretting this” Seungcheol looked away.

“Oh god am I watching the Dr. Choi Seungcheol blush?” Jeonghan grinned.

“We’re done here” Seungcheol tried to walk off

“No, no, no!” Jeonghan burst out laughing and caught his wrist before he got more than two steps. “You started this. You don't get to escape halfway through the cutest conversation of my entire life.” 

Seungcheol looked down at the hand around his wrist before looking back at Jeonghan.

“…You're grabbing me again.”

Jeonghan immediately let go.

“Right. Personal boundaries.” He clasped his own hands behind his back. “Continue.”

Seungcheol stood there for another second like he was debating whether this was worth the bullying he was about to receive.

“…fine.”

Jeonghan grinned.

“There was another one.” Seungcheol leaned back against the desk again. “The guy liked someone who always forgot an umbrella.”

“Ooh.”

“So one day it starts raining after school.”

“Mhm?”

“He walks outside, opens his umbrella…”

Jeonghan was already smiling.

“…then notices the other guy standing under the entrance because he can't get home.” Seungcheol smiled.

“A classic.”

“So he walks back and says…” Seungcheol hesitated for a second. “‘Looks like we're both going the same way.’ Even though they’re absolutely not going the same way.”

Jeonghan pressed both hands over his heart. “Oh…”

“And they walk home together.”

“That’s it?”

“It’s romantic”

“Yes yes I agree. Shoulders brushings, fingers touching, lips close, so easy to develop feelings”

“Right”

“But it should have ended in a kiss”

Seungcheol chuckled. “I don’t rush my stories like that. The yearning is more important that the kissing.”

“Woah that’s actually cute.” Jeonghan clapped his hand. “Continue, give me more.”

“There was one with a rose.”

Jeonghan gasped  “I KNEW THERE WAS A ROSE !”

“I don't know why you're so excited.”

“Because this is adorable!”

Seungcheol sighed and continued. “The guy kept seeing a flowerbed on the way to school every morning. He'd stop and look at the roses every day.”

“And?”

“One morning he finally picked one…”

“…Illegally?”

“…Probably.”

“You little criminal.”

“…and the guy kept trying to confess.”

“Mhm.”

“But every time he walked over, he'd lose his nerve.”

“Aww.”

“So he'd hide the rose behind his back…”

“AWW.”

“…pretend he was looking for someone else…”

“AWWW!”

“…walk away…”

“…NO!”

“and come back later.”

Jeonghan looked genuinely heartbroken. “How many times?”

“A lot. But in the end he never gave the rose.”

“Oh no…why?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “It’s fictional.”

“I don't care if it's fictional !”

Seungcheol laughed.

“So why didn't he do it?” Jeonghan asked.

“He kept thinking…‘Maybe tomorrow.’ Then tomorrow became next week. Then graduation.”

“…Ouch.”

“And after graduation they never saw each other again.”

Jeonghan stared at him. “That is the saddest romance comic I've ever heard.”

“It was supposed to be a lesson.”

“What lesson?”

“Don't wait too long.”

Something about the way Seungcheol said it made the classroom go strangely quiet.

He had said it like it’s a matter of fact, like teenage Seungcheol had genuinely believed procrastination could ruin a love story.

Jeonghan looked at him for a second.

“…You were a weird teenager.”

“I know.”

“No, like... emotionally weird.”

“I've accepted that.”

“You were drawing cautionary tales about missed opportunities.”

“I guess.”

Jeonghan shook his head, smiling. 

He could practically see the teenage version of Seungcheol now—a quiet boy filling notebook margins with confession comics he'd never actually use. It was so unfair. Every conversation somehow made him less intimidating and more attractive.

God. Stop rewarding me with new reasons to like you.

“Okay…” he said, unable to resist. “Now I want to hear about your first love.”

Seungcheol looked at him.

“The guy who gave you all those butterflies.” Jeonghan smiled. “Come on. I bet you treated him really well when you dated.” 

Seungcheol thought about it for a moment before answering.

“He was…really beautiful.”

“What kind of beautiful?” he asked, trying to sound curious instead of weirdly jealous over a relationship that had happened years ago.

“I don't know.” Seungcheol laughed softly. “The kind where you keep finding excuses to look again because your brain refuses to believe someone actually looks like that.”

Wow. 

“I remember the first time I saw him,” Seungcheol continued. “There was a stray cat that used to wander around outside. I'd seen it a few times before. Then one day I saw him feed the cat. I mean... it's a really cliché reason to like someone. I mean...I think when you're a teenager...you don't really need a reason. You just... see someone doing something kind…they smile, they laugh, they push their hair out of their face, they look at a cat like it's the most important thing in the world…and suddenly... your stomach starts doing weird things. Every time I saw him after that..I'd get butterflies.”

Jeonghan smiled. “That’s cute.”

“He had really kind eyes.” Seungcheol smiled faintly. “He smiled a lot. He just... smiled whenever he was happy. It made everyone around him smile too.” 

Jeonghan nodded.

How was anyone supposed to listen to someone describe loving another person…and somehow fall a little more in love with the storyteller instead?

He noticed the tiny smile that kept appearing every few sentences without him realizing it.

Was this what it looked like when someone had loved sincerely?

Jeonghan sighed. “I wish I had someone who fell for me like that? All I had was fangirls and fanboys and stupid boys who called me a slut.” He laughed. “Apparently if you're openly flirting with people or if people flirt with you, you become public property in high school. I got called a flirt when people liked me. Then a tease when I didn't like them back. Then a slut because apparently that's the next logical step. Teenagers are creative.”

“That must’ve really hurt.”

Jeonghan smiled and shrugged. “It did. But... I tried really hard not to let it ruin me.”

Seungcheol listened quietly.

“I still had friends who loved me. I still had people who made me laugh. I still got excited to come to school every morning….so I didn't want to hand those idiots that much power. I still enjoyed school and I still think it’s better than adult life.”

“Why?”

Jeonghan smiled dreamily. “Because everything felt... possible. I thought I'd become famous. My biggest concern was whether my hair looked good enough before practice. I had no bills, no deadlines, no terrifying realization that everyone else somehow knows what they're doing while you're just pretending.”

“You think everyone else knows what they're doing?”

“I know they don't.” Jeonghan smiled. “But adulthood has this weird way of making you feel like you're the only one who missed the orientation.”

That made Seungcheol laugh.

“And back then...” Jeonghan continued, “if something went wrong, it felt temporary. You'd fail a test and think, ‘Whatever, next week.’ You'd get your heart broken and somehow still believe someone amazing would come along eventually…now…now every decision feels like it's secretly deciding the rest of your life. Wrong job? Maybe you've wasted years. Wrong relationship? Maybe you ignored red flags for too long. Even buying furniture feels like commitment…I don’t know…adult life just... makes everything feel heavier.”

Seungcheol nodded. “I understand that.”

The conversation threatened to become one of those dangerously sincere ones again.

Jeonghan clapped his hands together once, loud enough to echo around the classroom.

“Anyway! You know what else made high school objectively better?”

“What?”

“I was ridiculously flexible. I could do insane cheerleading stunts.”

“I believe that.”

“No, you don't.”

“I do.”

“You're picturing basic stretching.”

“I wasn't.”

“I could literally throw my leg over my head.”

“…That sounds painful.”

“It wasn't! It was impressive.” Jeonghan grinned. “But unfortunately, i’m not that flexible anymore and I don’t remember any of the choreo”

Seungcheol laughed. “I still think you remember some of it.”

“I absolutely don't.”

“Try now”

“You want me to perform cheerleading in an empty classroom…at a high school reunion…”

“Mhm.”

“Ten years after I quit?”

“Yes.”

“Not happening !”

“I'll reward you.” 

Jeonghan gasped. “Really? What kinda reward?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

Oh, don't say things like that.

His brain immediately began producing increasingly illegal suggestions.

No. Behave. Normal people asked for reasonable things.

Jeonghan forced himself to be confident. Don’t chicken out.

“If...” He cleared his throat. “If I actually manage to do something even remotely resembling cheerleading…can I have your number?”

Seungcheol looked genuinely caught off guard. 

Fantastic.

“I just mean...” he rushed to explain, already flailing verbally. “We've had really nice conversations tonight, and statistically speaking it seems wasteful for them to end forever because a reunion ended. You don't have to say yes. I just figured... you know... maybe... if you wanted... we could... occasionally exchange words... through telecommunications.”

Too much. Too soon. Why did I say that? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Seeungcheol smiled. “Okay sure. I’ll give you my number.”

He actually said yes.

“Okay” Jeonghan said, trying very, very hard to sound like this wasn't the greatest sentence anyone had spoken to him all night. “But first I have to earn it with my ancient cheer moves, right?”

Seungcheol leaned back against the desk, arms crossed, clearly enjoying this. He nodded toward the open space between the desks. 

“Exactly. Show me what you’ve got, cheerleader.”

Jeonghan inhaled dramatically, rolled his shoulders, stretched one leg, then the other.

“This is a historic performance,” he announced. “Please remember that my peak athletic condition existed approximately one decade ago.”

“I'll judge accordingly.”

“That doesn't sound reassuring.”

“It wasn't supposed to.”

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Rude.”

He bounced on the balls of his feet twice, trying to wake up muscles that had probably filed for retirement years ago.

Okay. You've got this…maybe.

He attempted a simple cheer jump right there in the middle of the classroom.

It was… not as smooth as he remembered.

His landing was wobbly and he nearly knocked into a desk.

Seungcheol tried and failed to hide his laugh.

Jeonghan pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t laugh! That was a solid seven out of ten!”

“Felt more like a four” Seungcheol said, still smiling. “Do more”

“Fine. But only because you’re cute when you’re bullying me.”

He rolled his shoulders, took a couple steps back to give himself space, and started doing a simple cheer routine from memory. A quick toe touch, a clean jump, some old arm motions. Nothing too intense… he wasn’t trying to rip his pants in front of the hottest man alive.

He giggled the whole time, half embarrassed, half having way too much fun.

Seungcheol watched with an amused smile

Jeonghan finished with a dramatic pose and bowed.

“Better?” he asked, slightly out of breath.

“Much better” Seungcheol nodded. “I’d give it a six now.”

“Rude!” Jeonghan turned away. “I’d make you give me 10/10”

He grabbed a chair. “Observe.”

“I don't think I should.”

“You should.”

He climbed onto the chair. It creaked slightly.

Seungcheol moved closer. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“You don't sound positive. You sound overconfident.”

“Confidence is 90% of cheerleading.”

“And the other 10% ?”

“Gravity.”

He lifted both arms dramatically.

“One final performance... for your phone number.”

Seungcheol sighed. “I already agreed.”

“Too late.”

He tried to do one of his old cheer poses.  One foot up, arms stretched out like he was flying.

For half a second it felt perfect.

Then the chair wobbled.

“Shit—”

Jeonghan slipped.

He flailed, heart jumping into his throat, and fell forward.

His chest collided straight into Seungcheol’s.

Seungcheol’s arms wrapped around his waist instantly, steadying him.

They froze.

Suddenly they were way too close.

Jeonghan’s hands were pressed against Seungcheol’s chest. He could feel the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart under his palms. Their faces were inches apart. He could see every pretty detail on that face.

If he leaned in just a little…he could totally kiss this man.

Neither of them moved. Oh my god. Oh my god. Do I do it? Do I lean in? He’s not pulling away. He’s still holding my waist. His hands feel so warm

Jeonghan’s eyes dropped to Seungcheol’s mouth.

Shit.

The realization hit him just as quickly, and his eyes shot back up.

Please tell me he didn't notice.

Seungcheol didn’t let go. In fact, he gripped Jeonghan’s waist a little.

Oh my god. Why is he staring?

Seungcheol's eyes dropped for the smallest fraction of a second before lifting again, meeting Jeonghan's.

Neither of them seemed capable of remembering how bodies were supposed to work. 

‘God. This is either the most romantic moment of my life...or the most humiliating one.’ Jeonghan thought.

Seungcheol’s phone suddenly rang loudly.

Jeonghan stumbled back a step and only after that Seungcheol slowly let go of his waist.

Seungcheol pulled out his phone and picked up, sounding a little snappier. “What?”

He listened for a second

“Fine. I’ll be there.”

He hung up.

Jeonghan looked away, “Your friend's here?”

“Yeah...” Seungcheol nodded. “Looks like he finally made it.”

“Oh!”

Jeonghan clapped his hands together far too enthusiastically.

“Great! Awesome! Fantastic! Let's goooo!”

He spun toward the classroom door before another thought could escape his mouth.

Do not look back.

Do not think about almost kissing him.

Do not think about the fact he didn't let go first.

His face was as red as a tomato. 

Forget tomatoes. 

He was pretty sure he had evolved into an entirely new shade of red that science hadn't named yet. 

Behind him, he heard Seungcheol’s footsteps. “Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan didn’t turn around. He just kept walking, a nervous laugh bubbling out of him.

“Come on, your friend’s waiting! Wouldn’t want to keep him!”

Inside his head, he was screaming.

★

They finally made it back to the main hall.

Jeonghan slowed down, suddenly feeling shy again. Seungcheol walked past him and raised his hand.

“Seokmin! Over here!”

A tall man spun around immediately. His entire face lit up.

“Dude!” he shouted, weaving through people with absolutely no regard for personal space before throwing both hands onto Seungcheol's shoulders. “I almost didn’t make it today.”

“The party is almost over, Seokmin. They’re literally stacking chairs. I only came because you begged me for weeks.”

“I know, I know!” Seokmin groaned. “Listen, I had every intention of being early. I even left work on time for once. I got home and thought, 'I'll just lie down for 20 minutes.' Biggest mistake of my entire life. But my alarm didn’t go off, or maybe I slept through it, who knows. Then you called and I woke up like a zombie, panicked, and realized I was still in my work clothes. So I tried to find the shirt I wanted to wear—the nice black one—but it was super wrinkled. So I had to iron it, but I left the iron on it too long and burned a huge triangle hole right in the front. So then I had to find something else, but nothing looked good, so I tried on like six shirts and hated all of them. Then I couldn’t find my car keys. Spent thirty whole minutes tearing my apartment apart looking for them. Finally found them in the fridge, don’t ask. Then I started driving and my car started making this weird noise and just died on me in the middle of the road. Had to call a mechanic, wait forever for him to show up, and then wait even longer while he fixed it. Then there was so much traffic, and some idiot hit my car so we had this huge argument on the side of the road for like 30 minutes. Finally got here, couldn’t find parking anywhere, so I had to park super far and walk all the way. I’m literally dying. My feet hurt. My soul hurts.”

He finally stopped to inhale.

“...So technically,” he finished proudly, “I'm only a little late.”

“Half of that would've been avoided if you were organized.”

Seokmin waved dismissively.

“Forget my tragic story. You know who I saw the second I walked in?”

“Who?”

“Joshua Hong.”

“You—”

“I hooked up with him once ten years ago. I lost my virginity to him, you know! But we never talked or fucked after that. I think about him often…like so damn often. And now I see him again!? I used to stalk his profile. He’s a hot yoga instructor now! Can you believe how flexible and bendy yoga instructors are? That man can probably fold himself into a pretzel and still look hot doing it, fuck I’d totally would love to bend him again and—”

His eyes suddenly drifted behind Seungcheol and landed on Jeonghan.

“Oh !” Seokmin looked instantly guilty. “Joshua’s friend.”

“Hi” Jeonghan waved awkwardly.

Seokmin chuckled nervously. “Is there any chance you won’t tell him everything I just said?”

Jeonghan shook his head and tried to quietly run away.

Seungcheol grabbed his hand.

Jeonghan gasped and looked down at their joined hands.

Seungcheol cleared his throat. “You want the reward, right?”

“Oh… um… yes… only if you want to.”

“I want to.”

Seungcheol pulled out his business card and a pen. He turned Seokmin around without warning and used his back as a writing surface.

He wrote his phone number on the back, then doodled a smiling stick figure with a speech bubble that said ‘nice getting to know you’ and added a cute little bunny beside it.

Then he handed the card to Jeonghan.

“It has my clinic address, work number, and personal number. I don’t have a sticker on me so I drew a bunny. Hope you like it.”

Jeonghan blushed hard and clutched the card tight to his chest like it was precious treasure.

“Thank you! I’m gonna go home now. It was nice getting to know you too!”

He turned and ran over to Joshua, grabbing his arm.

“Time to go home !”

“Good. I’m so tired” Joshua yawned.

“There’s also a creepy dude who kept talking about how hot, bendy, and flexible you are.”

“Who?”

Jeonghan pointed at Seokmin.

“Oh, him.” Joshua said, smirking. “I lost my virginity to him.”

“He said the same thing. Also said you didn’t talk after that.”

Joshua smirked wider. “He was such a nerd. I don’t associate myself with nerds. But… now he must be in a rich boy job andddd… he also looks hot. Hmm. But anyway, I don’t have energy to socialize anymore, so we’re leaving.”

“Yes, come on” Jeonghan dragged him toward the exit.

On the way out, he turned back and waved at Seungcheol with a shy smile, then ran outside before he could do anything else embarrassing.

His face was still burning.

This night had been a lot.

Choi Seungcheol gave him a lot of butterflies today.

~

Seokmin looked at Seungcheol. “Soooo what was that all about?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yoon Jeonghan?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “You didn’t show up, I had to pass my time with someone.”

“Sure sure so understandable.” Seokmin smirked. “But The Yoon Jeonghan? The most popular guy in school?”

“That was—”

“The guy you spent three whole years being quietly in love with?”

Seungcheol looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You finally told him everything?” Seokmin asked.

“I…uh…I pretended not to know him.”

“WHAT?”

“I PANICKED !”

“You?”

“Yes.”

“The calmest person I've ever met. The guy whose pulse probably doesn't even change during medical emergencies?”

“I was in a completely different kind of emergency.”

Seokmin threw both hands into the air. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn't.”

“Yeah no shit !”

“I wasn't expecting him to walk up to me. I just…The Jeonghan I knew never would've stood there talking to me for hours.”

Seokmin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He was always surrounded by people.”

The memory came back with embarrassing clarity.

Hallways filled with voices, students squeezing together just to see him, Jeonghan laughing somewhere in the middle of it all, sunlight catching in his hair every single afternoon like the universe had decided to play favorites.

There had never been an opening.

Seungcheol had always watched from somewhere quieter.

“I figured...” he said softly, “if I walked up and said I'd been into him in high school... he'd smile politely, maybe thank me, maybe apologize for not remembering me.”

“But instead...what did you achieve by pretending not to know him?”

Seungcheol smiled. “He spent the entire evening showing me who he is now.”

“And?”

Seungcheol smiled. 

“I thought he was going to be confident all the time. He wasn't. Every time he got embarrassed he'd start talking faster, like if he filled enough silence nobody would notice. He'd say something ridiculous, immediately regret saying it, then somehow make it even worse trying to fix it. He apologizes for things that don't need apologizing. He pretends he's joking whenever he accidentally says something honest.” He laughed softly “He keeps acting like he's a disaster.”

“And?”

“He's adorable. He gets excited over tiny things. When I remembered two guitar chords, he looked happier than I was. He laughs with his whole face. When he's teaching something he completely forgets to be self-conscious. He kept touching my hands without realizing it, then every few minutes he'd suddenly remember personal space existed and apologize.”

His smile only grew.

“And when he gets really happy...he bounces.”

“...Bounces?”

“He literally bounces.”

Seokmin snorted.

Seungcheol grinned. “I've never seen someone so expressive. It's like every emotion immediately reaches his face before he has time to hide it.”

He looked down at his own hands.

“I thought I knew who Yoon Jeonghan was.”

He hadn't.

The Jeonghan he'd known in high school had always been surrounded by noise.

Music blasting from classrooms.

People calling his name from opposite ends of the corridor.

Students gathering around him before lunch because someone had heard he was bringing his guitar.

From where Seungcheol had stood, notebook tucked against his chest, Jeonghan had seemed almost... untouchable. 

But tonight, he’d watched him ramble himself into corners. He'd watched him get excited over teaching a single chord. He'd watched him quietly admit he still missed 17 year-old dreams.

It felt strangely precious.

“I think...” Seungcheol said, “if I'd told him everything right away...”

“You would've missed all that.”

“...Yeah.” He smiled. “I would've met the version of himself he thought I wanted.”

Instead...

He'd met someone wonderfully unfiltered.

Someone who asked questions because he genuinely wanted answers.

Someone who laughed cutely.

Someone who kept trying to impress him in ways that were so painfully transparent they became endearing.

Someone who, despite proving his self-esteem was terrible, had somehow still found the courage to ask for his phone number.

“I wanted...” Seungcheol admitted quietly, “I wanted to keep meeting that version of him.”

Not the boy he'd spent years imagining.

The man who'd almost fallen off a chair trying to earn a number.

The man who talked too much whenever he got nervous.

“I didn't have the heart to tell him,” Seungcheol continued, “that I actually did try talking to him once.”

“When? You didn’t tell me that?”

“Graduation” Seungcheol smiled. “Everyone was saying goodbye. He was walking with his friends. I caught up to him and called his name.”

He could still remember it with uncomfortable clarity.

His own palms were sweating. The speech he'd rehearsed all morning disappeared the second Jeonghan turned around.

“I think I managed to say... 'Congratulations.'”

“And?”

“He looked at me. He smiled politely…then he kept walking.”

It hadn't even been cruel. That was the worst part. It had simply been... forgettable.

“He probably doesn't even remember it now.” Seokmin said.

“No…I don't think he ever even knew who I was.”

Seokmin sighed. “So he also doesn't know you tried learning guitar because he wanted to start a band someday and you thought you’d get a chance with him if you joined his band?”

Seungcheol rubbed a hand over his face. “My mom did tell me to pick a hobby.”

“Mhm.”

“...It just happened to be guitar.”

“Uh-huh?”

“Fineee.” Seungcheol laughed. “maybe I thought if I got good enough, I'd have a reason to stand next to him.”

Seokmin pointed at him. “Hopeless.”

“I know. He also asked about my first love. Who gave me my first butterflies? I basically just described him in detail.”

“He didn’t catch on?”

“Well… I told him I dated my first love.”

“You what?”

“I didn’t want him to find out !” Seungcheol defended. “I panicked, okay?”

“God” Seokmin muttered, shaking his head.

“Also, I know for a fact he doesn’t even like sushi but he forced himself to eat it just to impress me. You understand how crazy that is, right?”

“So crazy.”

“And those rumors about him? The ones I never believed? It was some asshole who made them all up. I got so angry when I heard it tonight. I wanted to find that guy and—”

“You? Angry?” Seokmin looked genuinely surprised.

“Yes” Seungcheol said quietly. “For him.”

Seokmin sighed. “Fine, was there any progress? Did you kiss him?”

“Almost” Seungcheol muttered. “We were in his classroom. He slipped. I caught him. He looked at me. I looked back and then someone called me and ruined the moment.”

“Ugh” Seokmin groaned. “Who is that dumbass?”

“You” Seungcheol glared. “You’re that dumbass.”

“Oops. My bad.” Seokmin chuckled nervously.

“I've never wanted to throw my phone out of a window more.” he laughed. “But it’s good too. Yearning for a while is better than just kissing.”

“If I were you, I would have bent him over the classroom table”

Seungcheol smacked his arm. “Shut up !”

“Sorry”

“I should probably apologize to Hao too.” Seungcheol said. “. I’ve been texting him all night about how badly I was freaking out. He was even sweet enough to call me a couple of times to give me advice.”

Seokmin sighed. “Forget about the night.”

“I don’t think I can.” Seungcheol smiled. “It was magical.”

Seokmin rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mr. Magical. What's the plan now? You gave him your number, but you don't even have his.” 

Seungcheol shrugged. “He’ll contact me.”

“You sure?”

For a moment, Seungcheol didn't answer.

He thought about how Jeonghan embarrassed himself from the first hi.

About crying in the hallway.

About the proposal with Joshua's ring.

About the guitar.

About the way Jeonghan had looked at him in that classroom.

Almost falling off a chair.

Almost falling into an almost kiss.

About how close they'd come.

The way he'd clutched that business card.

Finally, he said “If tonight taught me anything....it's that Yoon Jeonghan is terrible at flirting.”

Seokmin snorted.

“He overthinks everything he says. He panics halfway through every sentence. He accidentally confesses things he wasn't trying to confess. He runs away whenever he's embarrassed.” Seungcheol looked toward the exit Jeonghan had disappeared through. “He's honestly terrible at it.”

“But?”

“But…” Seungcheol smiled. “...he's very good at making people fall in love with him.”

“That is disgustingly romantic.” Seokmin nodded. “You still didn't answer my question, though. Are you sure he'll text you?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I hope he does.”

“And if he doesn't?”

“Then that's okay too.” He slipped his hands into his pockets. “Tonight wasn't something I expected to get back. I thought I'd missed my chance ten years ago. Instead I got to know him—not the popular guy everyone else saw, just... Jeonghan. Funny, kind, a little insecure, endlessly chaotic… and so real. I’m happy with that. If he wants to see me again, he’ll text. If he doesn’t… I’ll still be grateful this happened.”

Seokmin shook his head, laughing. “You’re such a simp.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “Better than whatever lustful nonsense you were saying about Joshua. I’m 100% sure Jeonghan already told him everything.”

“Well, I need you to marry Yoon Jeonghan soon,” Seokmin said dramatically, “so that Joshua and I can meet again at a wedding and fall in love in a much more romantic setting instead of this chaotic high school reunion.”

Seungcheol smiled. “High school reunion really did become a beautiful place for me to fall in love.”

How not to flirt:

1.Fall hopelessly in love with someone from afar for three years in silence.

2.Pretend you don’t know them when you finally meet.

3.Let them embarrass themselves in every possible way while you stay perfectly calm.

4.Watch them eat sushi they hate just to stay near you.

5.Make your own heart break while watching them cry.

6.Watch them propose to you with someone else’s ring.

7.Watch them play guitar and also teach you guitar and fall more in love.

8.Make them do a cheerleading routine because you loved watching it 10 years ago, also catch them when they fall and almost kiss them.

9.Draw them a bunny on the back of your business card instead of just typing your number on their phone.

10. Then wait patiently, heart wide open, hoping they’ll be brave enough to text you.

All while knowing that sometimes the most beautiful love stories don’t start with perfect lines or smooth moves.

They start with a clumsy cheerleader, a quiet boy who once drew love stories in the margins of his book, and one unforgettable night where neither of them quite knew how to flirt… but somehow fell for each other anyway.