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if i don't love you then why (did i call you again?)

Summary:

Unknown Number

Unknown Number: Hi Natalie
Unknown Number: How are you doing?

Natalie: sorry who is this?

Unknown Number: I can't tell you that

or: an unknown number texts natalie's phone. confusion, confessions, and heart-to-heart moments ensue as both her and this stranger learn things about themselves

Notes:

hello everybody! this fic honestly kinda wrote itself if i'm being honest, which tends to happen whenever i write natalie and gabe interacting. it's also why i've decided to split it into chapters, but don't fret! everything is already written and i'll be posting them over the next few days. ao3 html formatting took a lot of patience but i honestly had a great time

there'll be more trigger warnings for specific things in later chapters but as with the canon of the musical, all TWs apply so please read with caution :)

title of the fic is from called you again by lizzy mcalpine

Chapter 1: chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Unknown Number

Today, 12:13 AM

Unknown Number
Hi Natalie
How are you doing?
Natalie
sorry who is this?
Unknown Number
I can’t tell you that
Please don’t block me
Natalie
why the fuck wouldn’t i block you
please delete my number
Unknown Number
Natalie please
Natalie
how the fuck do you know my name
actually
screw this
Unknown Number
Wait Natalie don’t

Natalie has blocked Unknown Number.



Unknown Number

Today, 5:26 PM

Natalie unblocked Unknown Number.

Natalie
alright here’s what’s gonna happen ok
Unknown Number
Natalie?
Why did you unblock me?
Natalie
nope, you’re answering MY questions. i need answers
a random number texting me knowing my name isn’t just something that happens normally
Unknown Number
You’ve never known a normal day in your life Nat
Natalie
…what the hell
okay first of all you don’t get to say shit about my life stranger
second of all. here’s a question
who are you
Unknown Number
Again, I can’t tell you that
Natalie
why the fuck not
Unknown Number
You’d freak out if you knew who I was to you
Natalie
you know how that sounds, right?
you sound like a creep
Unknown Number
I’m not, I swear
Natalie
that’s what a creep would say
Unknown Number
I can tell you that I’m not a creep
Natalie
well if you’re not a creep then how do you have my number and why do you know my name
Unknown Number
That’s two questions
Natalie
you’re fucking insufferable
you’re like a teenage boy
Unknown Number
Well that’s not too far off I think
Natalie
what does that mean
Unknown Number
To answer your original question
Your number is the only one I have in my phone
Thing
I don’t know how I have a phone
And it has your name on your contact
I know who you are though
Natalie
ok this is really fucking creepy
what do you mean you don’t know how you have a phone? if you’re a teenage boy you probably should have one to like contact your parents or something
right?
Unknown Number
If I had mom or dad’s contact I would’ve texted them first instead of you
Natalie
you’re talking like we have the same parents
Unknown Number
Well…
Natalie
well?
Unknown Number
I don’t know
Ask me another question
Natalie
oh so now you want me to ask you things
Unknown Number
Just ask something Nat I know you want to
Natalie
god you are so annoying
ok
um
do i know you?
Unknown Number
Kind of
You would’ve
Natalie
are you someone from school?
Unknown Number
No, I’m not
Natalie
do you live here?
Unknown Number
Kind of
Natalie
how do you ‘kind of’ live here?
you either do or you don’t
Unknown Number
It’s really complicated
And to be honest I don’t even know myself
Natalie
jesus christ man do you even exist

Read 5:47 PM

Natalie
no way dude
Unknown Number
I wish there was an easy answer to that question
But genuinely I don’t know
Natalie
do you have any other answer than ‘i don’t know’??
do you know anything at all
Unknown Number
Not as much as I thought I did
Natalie
so let me get this straight.
you know me but i don’t know you, you’re from somewhere around here ‘kind of’, your parents are not part of the equation, you’re likely a teenage boy, but you… don’t exist?
Unknown Number
I guess yeah
I don’t exist in the way that a real human does
Natalie
are you like a scammer or chatbot or something because that’s the only thing that makes sense anymore
shit my dad was right about internet safety
Unknown Number
No, I’m not any of those things
You probably won’t believe me, and I don’t blame you, but I just linger in your world. I’m not really here. I exist to some people only in their heads, or sometimes more than that. I didn’t think I’d exist to you, much less in this form
I wish I could explain this better but truthfully I don’t have much grasp on what I am. I mean, I’m just an extent of an already existing person, but I’m also kinda my own being
I haven’t known this entire time and it’s been driving me insane
Unknown Number
This doesn’t make sense, I’m sorry
Natalie
it doesn’t, really
like i get it kinda, but i don’t get what it has to do with me
this sounds like something that happens to people like my mother
you wouldn’t happen to know my mother would you

Read 5:58 PM

Unknown Number
No
Natalie
...alright
so what’s your name then
Unknown Number
I can’t really tell you that
Natalie
why not
Unknown Number
Um. Well
I’m just kinda someone
Natalie
well if you’re someone, you’ve gotta have a name right?
Unknown Number
Promise not to get mad at me?
Natalie
??
why
Unknown Number
I don’t know
Natalie
why would i get mad at you
Unknown Number
No I mean I literally don’t know
I don’t know my own name
Natalie
oh
that’s
Unknown Number
Yeah
Natalie
how do you not know your own name
Unknown Number
I don’t know, no one ever told me. Everyone refuses to say it
Natalie
who is ‘everyone’
Unknown Number
I wish I could tell you
It would probably help you to know
Natalie
how do you know what’s good for me
Unknown Number
Look I don’t know how any of this works okay
I just know you and that you’re important to me
Natalie
which isn’t creepy at all
Unknown Number
I’m sorry
Natalie
i’m kidding it’s fine
it’s nice to have someone to talk to anyway that isnt my parents or my boyfriend
do you know them
Unknown Number
I’m not real, remember?
Natalie
right yeah whatever
i still don’t get it
Unknown Number
I don’t either
Besides, if I told you who else I know, you’ll know who I am
And I’m not sure either of us are ready for that
Natalie
oh
alright then
it’s just kinda unfair that you seem to know me but i don’t get to know you
for all i know you could be a stalker
Unknown Number
I’m not, Natalie
I wish I could tell you more but I don’t want you to hate me
Natalie
how can i hate you
i don't even know you
Unknown Number
Hm
How can you

Notes:

ashes: 1
ao3 html: 0

ok i kinda took some liberties with the way imessage works but trust its for narrative purposes. anyway, i'm kinda loving how natalie kinda throws internet safety out the window and begins telling him everything

also i should note majority of this fic takes place over act one of n2n! it's where most of the exciting things happen but i'll do my best to make it clear where in the timeline we're at in the fic :) i hope you all enjoyed this little thing so far, i'll get the next chapter out tomorrow!

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