Work Text:
earth's mightiest idiots:
b alliteration: Who named the groupchat? I don't think we're all idiots
wannabe big-shot: Forget that who named me angry emoji no Friday I meant the emoji angry emoji angry never mind forget it send
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: i find your name quite humourous
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: what the actual fuck does my name mean
wannabe big-shot: Who taught you cuss words?
p alliteration: since your name is loki & it sounds like lowkey i named you that which is flow state + lowkey + kirk + inquisitive+ intuitive + genuinely + joyously
wannabe big-shot: Peter what the fuck
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: i agree with anthony
p alliteration: i had an identity crisis and turned evil now im retep
wannabe big-shot: why is your evil name just your name backwards
p alliteration: ok fine im a girl now and my name is penelope but j turned evil and now im epolenep
wannabe big-shot: No you didn't even change anything but the name
bro can't hear😂: what's popping gamers
bro can't hear😂: peter im killing you with hammers for my name
p alliteration: bro can't hear😂
bro can't hear😂: what the hell peter
maneater: Why is my name maneater
p alliteration: because black widows eat their husband when they're pregnant iirc
maneater: What does iirc mean
p alliteration: if i remember correctly
maneater: Take your time.
p alliteration: no it stands for if i remember correctly
maneater: Ohh
uncle sam🇺🇸: omg kid are you calling me uncle now
p alliteration: how do you not know about uncle sam
uncle sam🇺🇸: i do i just like ragebaiting you
p alliteration: i hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight
buckaroonie: woah woah bit harsh there, peter
p alliteration: sorry bucky
backaroonie: by the way where's steve?
p alliteration: idk lol
b alliteration: He went out to buy milk
buckaroonie: why? we already have. so much
b alliteration: He likes milk
fallen soldier: Damn right I do.
fallen soldier: Why is that my name?
p alliteration: because soldiers can't be gay lol
fallen soldier: Peter that's just homophobic.
p alliteration: wait fr
fallen soldier: I don't know what fr means.
p alliteration: ok
fallen soldier: ???
wannabe big-shot: I wish y'all would stop talking
uncle sam🇺🇸: i wish you would shut up
p alliteration: I WISH I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS
wannabe big-shot: I'm literally a billionaire
p alliteration: im too niche
wannabe big-shot: What
uncle sam🇺🇸: what
p alliteration: maybe y'all just need to eat the spICIEST PEPPER IN THE WORLD
wannabe big-shot: I already have😼
p alliteration: ew
fallen soldier: I agree with Peter. That was a rather inappropriate comment, Tony.
wannabe big-shot: Bro puts punctuation at the end of his sentences
p alliteration: bro is pushing 50 and saying bro
wannabe big-shot: I'm gonna remove the heater from your suit
p alliteration: im gonna go to buttzville new jersey and eat hot dog johnny's
wannabe big-shot: what
royalty jr: i agree with peter
p alliteration: hi shuri
royalty jr: hi peter
buckaroonie: ouuugh i feel so unwell i wish i had a supersoldier with me right now because that's the only thing that could sure me ouuuuh
fallen soldier: I'm busy, Buck. And you're being childish.
p alliteration: yr'oue*
royalty jr: yr'oue*
fallen soldier: I'm pretty sure I spelled it right, kids.
buckaroonie: ouuuhhhhhhhhhhhhggggh im not so sure steve it seems like im really coming down with something only a👀super soldier👀👀can cure. specifically a very👀patriotic👀one👀👀👀
p alliteration: i don't regret teaching bucky how to use technology
illegal alien: I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO USE MIDGUARDIAN TECH
b alliteration: Good on you, pal
illegal alien: ARE ALIENS ILLEGAL IN THIS COUNTRY? WHY IS THIS MY NAME?
p alliteration: they sure are
fallen soldier: Peter, that's not funny.
wannabe big-shot: I thought it was pretty funny
bro can't hear😂: i second that
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: remove me
p alliteration: y tho
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: i will kill your friend with cancer
p alliteration: he's immortal
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: i will kill your lawyer friend
p alliteration: not if you're in a hallway😂😂😂
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: he's blind
p alliteration: wowww so you're ableist now?
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: weren't you just racist and homophobic?
p alliteration: woah man those are some crazy allegations
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuineouyously: then why is Steve named "fallen soldier" and thor named "illegal alien"?
illegal alien: IT IS QUITE ALRIGHT BROTHER
fallen soldier: I don't like my name. Please change it.
p alliteration: ok fine
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: I take it back.
wannabe big-shot: Yeah no chance pal
maneater: Can you guys stop blowing up my phone
bro can't hear😂: i agree
p alliteration: put it on silent
maneater: It's whatever; I'm done with my mission now
bro can't hear😂: good lord how many people are in here?
big royalty: I have not spoken yet, but I am also here
bro can't hear😂: im assuming you're t'challa?
big royalty: Yes
royalty jr: h
p alliteration: i agree with that
p alliteration: anyway bye guys i have school
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Bye, Peter. Have a nice day.
p alliteration: thanks steve u 2
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Isn't U2 a band? I'm not quite caught up yet.
uncle sam🇺🇸: yeah it is
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Why would Peter mention a band?
uncle sam🇺🇸: i dunno, steve, maybe kids really like their music nowadays
royalty jr: yeah we say it a lot actually
b alliteration: Guys stop harassing him
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Am I being harassed?
m alliteration: Why am I in this group chat
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Who are you?
m alliteration: Matthew Murdock who are you
buckys big strong guardian alpha boyfriend: Captain Steve Rogers.
m alliteration: Why the fuck am I in a group chat with captain America
wannabe big-shot: Peter
m alliteration: Please remove me my phone is going off like crazy
wannabe big-shot: I think only Peter can remove you just silence it
m alliteration: How
wannabe big-shot: You don't know how to silence a phone
m alliteration: I'm not dumb I'm blind and using text to speech
wannabe big-shot: Oh shit sorry
m alliteration: I'm killing Peter
flowkeykirkquisituitivenuinouyously: aren't we all