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I can be yuor Yang-el

Summary:

In which Cang Qiong operates on a hierarchy-based free use policy.

This changes... less than you might have expected. At least for Shen Qingqiu.

Notes:

Hi recip! :D Your free use prompt for Battleship gave me a bunch of ideas back then, but I never got around to making an actual fic out of them! I very much enjoyed this opportunity to do so <3 (Also apologies for the lack of actual porn lmao!)

Work Text:

Hand on his wrist, Mu Qingfang hummed.

“It is not of urgent concern,” he said thoughtfully, “but Shixiong’s yang essence is somewhat low for a cultivator of his calibre. How long has it been since Shixiong’s last dual cultivation?”

Shen Qingqiu opened his mouth and then closed it.

Flustered, he whipped out his fan and glared; at times like this, he was perversely grateful for his predecessor’s crabby reputation!! “This master does not see why that would be any business of Shidi’s.”

Mu Qingfang frowned, but thankfully appeared neither confused nor surprised. “This shidi is only concerned with Shixiong’s health. Shixiong’s relationship with his disciples has improved of late, and so this master had hoped that Shixiong was finally making use of the rights afforded to him by his status. Of course, if Shixiong would prefer an alternative, this shidi is available whenever it is convenient for Shixiong—”

“That’s quite enough.” Shen Qingqiu snapped his fan shut, glaring openly. “Shidi’s advice is taken into consideration. Does Shidi have anything else to report regarding this master’s health?”

He did not, and so with a not unfamiliar note of resignation, Mu Qingfang waved Shen Qingqiu goodbye.

*

Honestly…! After all this time, he’d almost forgotten about that particularly bullshit worldbuilding element: institutionalised free use. Such an overused and unfitting porn concept, and Airplane had barely even explored it – the scum villain’s enmity towards the protagonist had, of course, left him mercifully untouched by those specific nasty implications. Ning Yingying alone had born the brunt of them, and even then, only off-screen! It hadn’t even occurred to Shen Yuan on reading that the rules would apply to every rank of authority within the sect, even among peak lords; once again, Shen Qingqiu thanked whichever God would hear him that the man he had transmigrated into had been such an unrelentingly moody asshole that he had apparently never taken advantage of any of these ‘workplace relationship-building activities’…!

Walking down the steps to the bridge, Shen Qingqiu noticed a flash of silver robes and immediately took up his sword. It felt beyond silly to be nervous that Yue Qingyuan, of all people, might make some sort of advance on his body, and he normally wouldn’t even think of it, but the prospect of Mu Qingfang enforcing his doctorly wisdom through the Sect Leader’s unquestionable authorty was simply too stomach-curdling to bear…!

(Yue Qingyuan, meanwhile, observed Shen Qingqiu’s abrupt wince of disgust and quick departure, and a flicker of faith that he had not felt in years tickled at his gut…)

Perhaps the peak lords were on some sort of schedule, because while Shen Qingqiu was flying back towards Qing Jing Peak his sights settled on Liu Qingge.

“Afternoon, Shidi!” he called from the air.

Liu Qingge started, eyes widening. How typical of him, to react to a friendly greeting as though he were being attacked…!

Shen Qingqiu diverted briefly over to where Liu Qingge was standing near the edge of Bai Zhan. “Where were you?” the other man asked, as blunt as ever.

“Doctor’s appointment.” Shen Qingqiu scowled a little, wondering. “Shidi, does Mu Qingfang ever pester you about… dual cultivation?”

He couldn’t imagine that Liu Qingge was ‘making use of the rights afforded to him by his status’ any more than he himself was, after all. Then again, a man of Liu Qingge’s brashness probably had, if anything, a constant excess of yang energy.

Liu Qingge’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Is – is that man trying to force you to do something…? That’s your right – not his!”

“Oh, no.” Shen Qingqiu waved a hand. “Sorry – I just meant that he told me to go and dual cultivate with somebody. Not necessarily him. I wondered if you ever got the same lecture.”

Liu Qingge stared at Shen Qingqiu for several moments. It was a little unnerving.

“...Mu Qingfang has advised. This master. To dual cultivate. At times. In the past,” he said, with a strangely halting intonation.

Shen Qingqiu hummed in sympathy. “This master understands the theory of it… but it’s still just a bit too awkward, don’t you agree? Even if it’s for health purposes.”

Liu Qingge swallowed. “It… it can be,” he said.

Shen Qingqiu waited for the rest of the sentence, but Liu Qingge merely continued to stare at him, cheeks flushed.

Ah: perhaps this topic of conversation was too inappropriate…? Shen Qingqiu had thought they were becoming decently good friends by this point, but then again, he ought not to be surprised that a man like Liu Qingge who understood nothing but warfare wouldn’t possess Mu Qingfang’s nonchalance about the subject. The poor man probably hadn’t even kissed a girl yet!

And so Shen Qingqiu sighed. “Well, it was good to see you today, Shidi!” he said, offering a bit of a wave as he retook his sword.

Liu Qingge barely even muttered a goodbye. Shen Qingqiu resolved never to bring up sex even in the theoretical around the man ever again; he was clearly uncomfortable discussing it.

At home, opening the door did not, as it usually did, reveal a delightful scent signifying the delicious meal he would be receiving for dinner that evening. Frowning (out of mere concern for his disciple, of course, and not irritation!), Shen Qingqiu explored the rooms of the Bamboo Cottage. “Binghe? Are you home?”

An odd squeaking sound came from behind the door to Binghe’s bedroom. As the boy rarely spent any time at all in there except to sleep, Shen Qingqiu almost jumped when a face soon followed, protruding out of the sliding doors and unhealthily flushed.

“Sh-Shizun…! Ah… This disciple apologises – the evening’s meal is not yet—”

“That’s of no matter to this Master at all,” Shen Qingqiu tutted, quickly coming over to feel Binghe’s forehead and examine his sweaty face. “What is wrong? Does Binghe need to visit Qian Cao?”

Beneath his hands, Binghe flushed further. “N-no, Shizun… this disciple… thinks that that will not be necessary.”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyebrows raised. “Really? Then would my disciple care to enlighten this Master as to the situation?”

Binghe’s eyes flicked around, unusually coy. Shen Qingqiu’s hands pressed more firmly against his cheeks in a bit of a squeeze, and he squeaked again. “It’s – it’s merely… um… This disciple’s, ah, yang essence… has become somewhat out of balance… In the excess…”

Shen Qingqiu stared at him. Binghe’s eyelashes fluttered, and he looked up into Shen Qingqiu’s eyes expectantly.

...oh. Well, then.

Shen Qingiu’s hands readjusted, slightly, and then pushed Binghe’s face back through the doorway.

“It seems like Binghe already knows what he needs to do to fix the problem,” he said very firmly.

Binghe scrabbled at the door but was unable to prevent Shen Qingqiu from closing it. “Shizun—!”

“This master will take care of dinner tonight,” he said, with great dignity. “Shizun is happy that Binghe has learned to put his own health before his duties to his Master.”

Binghe whimpered. Shen Qingqiu ignored him, ears flaming.

Honestly…! Living inside a world built for porn could be unbelievably awkward from time to time, ah?!

As cool as the idea might sound to a lonely NEET, on days like this, Shen Qingqiu was actually pretty grateful that he hadn’t transmigrated into some protagonist with a double-digit harem to deal with. It sounded like an awful lot of work.

Instead, he retrieved a plate of snacks which Binghe must have prepared earlier and popped one into his mouth. Delicious! He wondered how long it’d take Binghe to solve his problem. Oh, well. This was enough to tide him over for an hour or two. As far as lifestyles went, he could hardly complain.