Archive of Our Own

"Bambina?"

It was late. Probably too late to ask her wife questions. Especially after their evening activities. Still it had been on Carina's mind all day. Whilst sex had blissed her wife out into an almost drunken state, Carina's body felt alive, her mind awake and curious.

"Hmph," came Maya’s reply, her face pressed into the pillow so it was mostly muffled.

"You like camping, right?"

Maya lifted her head slightly. "Camping?"

"Yeah."

"No, not really."

Carina pushed herself upright so quickly the duvet slid into her lap. She stared at Maya as though she'd just confessed she hated pasta.

"Cosa? You don't?"

Maya rolled over so she could look at her properly, pulling the covers tighter around herself now she didn’t have her wife's body pressed up behind her.

"No. I can take it or leave it quite honestly."

Carina blinked down at her, stunned.

"Babe?" Maya said, poking her leg when she got no reply.

"I can't believe you don't like-" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"What's this about?" Maya asked, stifling a yawn.

"It's our anniversary soon and I wanted to go camping. But if you don't like it then-"

"Hey," Maya squeezed her hand, before pushing herself upright, "if you want to go camping, we'll go camping."

"Really?"

"Of course," Maya leaned in and kissed her softly, "anything my wife wants, my wife gets. Including camping."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Maya smiled, kissing her again. "But if it's okay with you, can we look at it another time, when I'm less... exhausted?"

Carina smirked and kissed her, laughing when Maya broke away to yawn. "La mia bambina stanca, sogni d'oro."

Maya smiled and promptly curled back under the covers tugging Carina with her making sure she was sufficiently cuddled close before almost immediately falling back to sleep. Carina let out a small chuckle, kissed the back of her neck and closed her eyes, letting her mind settle on tents and campfires, and her wife looking rugged in the wilderness.

"Okay, camping. Campsites. Anniversary." Maya said to herself as she opened her laptop.

"Sì! I've heard the Colorado river is really nice."

"Colorado river? As in... California or Arizona? I thought we were just doing it for a couple of days?"

"California?" Carina repeated loudly. "No, it's in Washington and maybe Oregon? I looked, it's only like four hours away or something."

"Four hours? Four- oh, oh, you mean the Columbia river?"

"Columbia! Sì. That's the one!" Carina beamed, tucking herself under Maya’s arm.

"Okay, yeah, that's a good location. I'd be happy to go anywhere along there."

Maya opened up a new tab and typed "camping in Columbia River, WA".

"How about this?" Maya said after a couple of minutes, turning the computer to show Carina a woodland cabin set a few minutes walk from the river.

"Is this the toilet block?"

"It's the cabin. This is where we'd stay, look," Maya scrolled through the pictures.

"We're not staying in a cabin."

"But it's in a great spot."

"It's not camping, I said camping, amore."

"And a cabin isn't camping?"

"No, a cabin isn't camping."

"Okay, I'll keep looking," she said, tucking her feet under herself as she returned to the results page and scrolled until she found one she thought looked ideal.

"This looks good," Maya said, nudging Carina, who was looking for places on her phone.

She'd clicked on a site titled 'luxury camping resort Columbia River Gorge'. It honestly looked like a slice of heaven,with tents pitched on decking with views overlooking the canyon and the promise of onsite dining and a hot tub with every tent.

She turned the computer towards Carina, clicking on a tent that slept two called the 'stargazer'.

"Why is there a chandelier? It's a tent!"

"Good lighting when it goes dark?"

"Pre-pitched tent? Power sockets? Unlimited WiFi?" Carina gasped, "no, absolutely not."

"Why?"

"That's not camping, that's a hotel."

"It's still a canvas tent."

Carina stared at her.

"It has room service breakfast, Maya."

"So it's a no?"

"It's a firm no."

"Scoot over, let me look," Carina chuckled, plucking the laptop from her lap.

"I don't get it," Maya frowned.

"Get what?"

"You're Italian."

"Yes?"

"You like nice things."

"I do."

"This is a very nice thing."

"It's pretending to be camping. We don’t need luxury, we just need a tent and a firepit and the stars, bambina," Carina said, turning the laptop to show Maya what she'd found.

It was an unassuming page, completely different from the high lux page Maya had just shown her. At the top there was a small blurb about the campsite's location- on the shore of the river- and the rest of the page listed the pitches.

"It's beautiful, no?"

"Yes, but-"

"But what?"

"But it has a composting toilet and no running water."

"But it's in an ideal location, there's loads of small trails nearby and a hotsprings."

"...Mm-hmm."

"And there's no artificial lighting, so the stars will be amazing."

"...Sure."

"And everyone has their own fire ring."

"That's nice."

"Would it even have cell service? What if something happened?"

"We'd have a satellite phone. Look, it's run by a gay couple; Maggie and Ro."

"Hold on."

"What?" Carina said, looking at her.

"When you said camping..."

"Mm?"

"...you meant camping."

"Yes."

"...like... camping camping. Like bugs and bears and fires and stuff."

"Yes, bambina," Carina chuckled, "there's nothing like camping. Going back to basics, stargazing, cooking over the fire, walks in nature."

"I never had you pegged as someone who likes camping."

"It's the best! And I haven't been in so long! I can't wait."

"Does it have to be this one? Or can we pick one with a proper toilet and running water?"

"A composting toilet is a proper toilet."

"I mean one that flushes. I can do off the beaten track and no cell service and even no showers. But I would like a proper toilet, that's my non-negotiable. Because I don't want to get a UTI."

"How are you going to get a UTI?" Carina asked, as she exited the website and started looking for a campsite that was more Maya approved.

"I don't know... bugs?"

Carina chuckled, "I highly doubt a bug is going to crawl up your urethra."

"Ben was telling me about this patient the hospital had and they had a parasite living in their-"

"How's this one?"

Maya leaned closer to have a look. It was still off the beaten track but had a bathroom with running water and flushing toilets, secluded pitches with private paths down to the river, and plenty of nearby walks.

"Better?" Carina asked, watching Maya nod as she scrolled through the information.

"This is good. Though we might have to bring some water, I'm not sure I trust my belly on 'filtered river water'."

"Deal," Carina chuckled, "can I book it?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? Because I don't want to do it if you're going to hate it, this is our anniversary."

"I won't hate it. I can't promise I'm going to love it like you seem to love it, but I won't hate it. I promise. Book it baby."

Carina grinned, leaned over and kissed her before clicking the 'Reserve' button.

"Done."

"Well... we're really doing this," Maya smiled.

"We are."

"Now what?"

Carina looked at her as though the answer was obvious.

"Now we check over the gear we have."

"The gear we have?"

"Mmm, and we make lists."

"Lists that need a clipboard?"

"Lists that most definitely need a clipboard."

"I'm on it!"

"I can't believe you have a storage unit I never knew about," Maya mumbled, as they walked down the long corridor, Carina spinning a set of keys in her hand that she'd never seen before.

"Andrea and I used to share it because the storage was awful in both of our apartments. I cleared it out after-" she shook her head, "anyway, yeah. I have one mostly for a few camping things."

She stopped in front of a yellow door, opened the padlock on either side and rolled the door upwards. Maya stood off to the side, her hands on her hips.

"Okay," she said. "Show me these mysterious camping supplies."

The door rattled open.

Instead of one dusty sleeping bag, like Maya had been expecting, there's an incredibly organised collection.

Plastic storage bins labelled Kitchen, Camp Stove, Sleeping, Lanterns.

A folded camping table.

A camp stove.

A toolbox.

Maya just... blinked.

"...Carina."

"Mm?" She replied, already stepping inside, stopping in front of a set of metal shelves that housed everything.

"Have you been leading a double life? Because this looks like more than 'a few camping things'."

"It's just the essentials. But I haven't been camping in... well... in years. So we've got to go through the list and check if things still work."

Maya nodded, still amazed by the amount of things Carina had. She pulled her pen from her pocket and clicked it, ready to check boxes. Carina smiled and crossed the small unit, unfolding a wagon that she could load things into.

"Woah."

"This isn't my first rodeo," Carina chuckled, beginning to reach for things off the shelves.

"Hang on," Maya interrupted, slightly panicked, "you're going to have to tell me what you're getting. I'm... clueless."

Carina chuckled and started calling out the names of things as Maya checked them off on the list, interrupting to ask Carina to explain what it was every so often.

"Sleeping pads, luckily I have two," Carina called holding up two small yellow bags before putting them in the cart that was almost overflowing.

"Sleeping pad- wait- I don't see them, where are they?" Maya asked, looking down at the wagon.

"Here," Carina pointed into the wagon.

"Where?"

"Here," Carina held them up again.

"That's a sleeping pad?"

"Sì?"

"It's tiny."

"It's all we'll need. It inflates to about twenty centimetres thick. And I'm pretty sure these have a feature where we can attach them together to make a big bed for both of us."

"That's the bed?"

"Sì."

"Is it comfortable?"

"It's the most comfortable camp bed I've ever slept on, and it's never deflated on me."

"Okay," Maya nodded, still surprised that something they would be sleeping on could come in something so compact.

"I think sleeping pads were the last small thing. We'll have to carry the chairs, or well my chair, we still need to buy you yours, and the camp table. Plus the tent-"

She scanned the storage unit, a frown growing on her face.

"Huh."

She checked behind a couple of bins.

"No..."

Maya immediately softened, hearing her tone.

"What?"

"I don't have it."

"Oh..."

"I think I leant it to Andrea... but it wasn't in any of his things when we sorted out his apartment. He must have..." she trailed off, her shoulders rounding in sadness.

Maya gave her a sympathetic look, resting one hand on Carina's back.

"We can borrow one, babe. I'm pretty sure Andy has one."

Carina slowly looked up.

Then she grinned.

"We can go tent shopping!"

Maya blinked.

"That was the opposite reaction to what I was expecting."

"I can't be mad at Andrea for losing my tent right before he died, because I get to do the best thing in the world... tent shopping!"

Maya chuckled at the joyous look on her wife's face.

She glanced down at the list out of habit. One thing hadn't been checked off. "Sleeping bags, my list says it's missing."

Carina glanced over.

"Oh. We're buying new ones."

"Why?"

"Mine are old."

"Fair enough."

Carina smiled to herself.

"Besides... I was thinking we could get a double."

Maya looked up.

"A double sleeping bag?"

"Mm."

"...You mean we sleep in the same one?"

"We have to be able to... cuddle on our anniversary."

"Just cuddle?"

"I love your thinking, Bambina!" Carina beamed, leaning in for a kiss which Maya more than happily obliged her.

"So is that everything?" Maya asked when Carina pulled back eventually.

"Sì, so we can load up the car and head to the camping shop! It's incredible in there, I could honestly spend hours looking at everything."

"I can't believe there's this whole side to you I didn’t even know about !" Maya said, hooking the chair over her shoulder as Carina undid the handle on the wagon.

"We've been married for three years, I have to keep you guessing!"

"Apparently so," Maya chuckled, grabbing a bag that supposedly stored a large camp table but was currently no bigger than a backpack.

"One big step closer to camping!"

"How do they feel?" Carina asked, as she pulled the bow tight on the hiking boots Maya was wearing.

Maya wiggled her toes and rocked her feet back and forth. "Supportive."

"Va bene. Now stand up and walk."

Maya obliged, pushing up from the bench, starting to walk around the shoe area. The boots were way comfier than she was anticipating, the arch support Carina had gone on an informative rant about, was amazing, supporting her feet so she was forced to walk from heel-to-toe.

"How does your ankle feel?" Carina asked, referring to Maya’s bad ankle. She'd been careful to pick one with good support and make sure it was laced high enough to ensure it didn't end up over-extended when she walked.

Maya rocked back and forth, waiting for that slight twinge that was always there in her ankle, stunned when nothing came.

"It feels amazing!"

"I told you the Salomons were a good brand. They're one of the only companies who design shoes with women's feet in mind. Okay, let's see you walk up and down the ramp."

"Do I have to?" These are perfect."

"Of course you have to, you need to make sure they feel good on an incline and decline. And make sure they're gripping enough."

Maya frowned, self-conscious that her wife was making her walk up and down a tester bridge in a packed store. A bridge that kids were running up and down on.

"You have to, bambina."

Maya chewed her lip and walked over to the ramp, dodging a kid as she walked up and then back down it.

"Feel good?" Carina asked, meeting her at the other side, resisting the urge to kiss her flushed cheek.

Maya nodded, wiggling her toes again. "Let's get them."

"Perfect!" Carina said, pulling her over to the bench once again, rapidly unlacing the boots, passing Maya back her sneakers as she packaged them away. "Okay we'll get you some socks, then head over to look at the tents via the sleeping bags so we can pick up the one I've been looking at."

Twenty minutes later Maya had learnt, among other things, that hiking socks were apparently worth spending money on, cotton was the enemy, merino wool was miraculous, and Carina had an impressive disdain for the camping industry only making women's things in two colourways pink or teal.

She'd also discovered that outdoor shops were Carina's equivalent of a child walking into a toy shop.

Eventually, after Carina browsed the camp stove aisle and picked up a couple more bottles of gas, they made it to the sleeping bags.

"Here we go!" Carina said, patting the bag for the one she had been looking at since they decided to go camping.

Maya reached to put one in their cart, pausing when her eye caught the tag.

"...Three hundred and fifty dollars... without tax?"

"Mm."

"For a sleeping bag?"

"It's two sleeping bags."

"It's one sleeping bag for two people, the one person bags aren't one hundred and seventy five dollars."

Carina laughed.

"It's down."

"... which means?"

"It means it'll keep us warm. This is rated below freezing."

"We're going in June."

"Still, it can get cold in the forest at night."

"Three hundred and fifty dollars, Carina."

"It's worth it."

"We could stay in a five star hotel for that."

"We have the money," Carina said, dropping it in the cart, "plus it'll last us 20 years. It's an investment."

Maya couldn't argue with that.

"Tent time?" She asked.

"Tent time!" Carina beamed, practically pulling Maya and the cart in the direction of the many many display tents.

"Okay we're looking for-"

"A large vestibule, a separate sleeping area, a detachable flysheet, an attached groundsheet and- and that's it," Maya rambled.

Carina blinked at her.

"Yes. How did you-"

"You've been talking about tent features since we went to the storage place."

"And you've been listening?"

"Of course I have, it's something you're passionate about. Now I don't know what any of it-" Maya was cut off by Carina's lips on hers. She stumbled back a little, not braced for the force of her rushing her.

"Hey it's not-"

"Don't say it's not a big deal," Carina mumbled, still pressed close to Maya, one hand, playing with the collar of her quarter-zip.

Maya bit her lip. "Okay," she nodded, laughing when Carina kissed her again. "I really don't know what any of it means though."

"I'll show you!" Carina pulled her, slightly more gently this time, over to a medium sized octagonal shaped tent.

"This is a good size," Carina said, stopping in the centre of the tent. Maya nodded looking around the space. "The problem is it doesn't have a divider where the sleeping space is. It's one of the things I find important but not essential. I think it's helpful to have a separate sleeping area, particularly if it's blackout."

"That makes sense. In this one would you just toss your bed anywhere and that's that?"

"Yes. So not the most ideal for living comfortably. Another thing this tent doesn't have is a vestibule. A vestibule is like a porch, you put all of your bags, your muddy boots, your empty bags. If the tent is this size," she spun around, "then it can be small, big enough for your boots, but you need to have one in my opinion."

"That also makes a lot of sense. What about the groundsheet, flysheet situation?"

"The groundsheet is attached," Carina said, crouching down to show Maya where the walls of the tent met the floor. "In some tents it comes separately and it's a pain in the butt to get it to line up and stay dry if you get a lot of rain. If I found the perfect tent and it wasn't attached, I could see past it."

"Now the flysheet," she went on, "growing up all of the flysheets we had the poles went through. In America, however, I've discovered that a lot of people sleep without the flysheet. This tent has been set up without one, that's why we can see the ceiling. I would never sleep without the flysheet. But being able to take it off and dry it is important."

"Got it," Maya nodded, mentally taking note of Carina’s tent education.

"Ready to find the perfect tent?"

"So ready!"

The next twenty minutes passed in a blur of zips, poles and polyester.

"Too small."

"Poor ventilation."

"Vestibule's tiny."

"Groundsheet isn't attached."

"Absolutely not."

Maya lost count of how many tents they'd climbed into. Somewhere around number seven she'd stopped seeing tents altogether and started seeing a long list of features and compromises through Carina's eyes.

She climbed into a medium sized tent and looked around. It definitely had a flysheet, and an attached groundsheet. She turned to her left and saw a blacked out sleeping compartment, that was another check on the invisible list in her head. The last thing was a vestibule, somewhere for their boots. She'd come in through a side entrance, but when she walked to the front and unzipped the main door she was pleased to see a good sized vestibule.

"Babe? What about this one?" She called exiting the tent to find her.

Carina poked her head out from another display.

"What?"

"I think... this one?"

Carina walked over, expecting to politely explain why it wasn't right. Starting to lose faith that the camping store would have what they wanted.

Instead Maya started listing the things.

"Big vestibule."

Carina nodded.

"Separate sleeping area."

Another nod.

"Attached groundsheet."

"Mhm."

"Detachable flysheet."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Strong poles... which I know you didn't say was vital, but you rejected a tent over there for them.

Carina's eyebrows slowly rose.

"...And I think the ventilation's better," Maya continued, "because it's got those vents at either end. And you can buy these extra poles and stick the front porch out so you can let the air in."

There was a long pause. Carina just stared at her.

"...Bambina."

"What?"

"You were listening."

Maya shrugged. "I told you I was."

Carina beamed. "No, you were really listening. This is perfect. You've picked up on all of the best features. It's a good size too. Not too big, not too small. It's perfect, amore mio."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I love you."

"I know."

"No, I mean..." she wrapped her arms around Maya. "I really, really love you."

"I really really love you t-" she cut herself off, looking at the sign that showed the tent's features and also the price. "Eight hundred dollars? Eight? Eight hundred?"

Carina glanced over.

"That's a great price."

"Eight hundred dollars?"

"It's on sale."

"It was a thousand dollars."

"Exactly."

Maya laughed.

"Why is it so expensive?"

"It's an investment."

"That's what you said about the sleeping bag."

"Because it's true."

"What isn't an investment?"

Carina thought for a moment.

"The marshmallows for s'mores."

Maya chuckled, "you definitely want it?"

"A good tent is worth its weight in gold. There was one year we had to borrow a tent. The weather got bad and it was basically raining inside the tent. Trust me," she picked up the relatively heavy bag, "it's worth it."

Maya immediately took the bag off her and stuck it in the cart, before reaching for the accessories that you could buy, dropping a carpet and the poles to turn the door into an awning too.

"That carpet is a hundred dollars," Carina mumbled.

"It's worth it," Maya simply answered. "But let's get out of here before you spot any more things and we spend two thousand dollars on things."

Carina bit her lip, cheeks flushing a little, looping her arm around Maya’s as they walked towards the register. A couple of new head torches, a string of fairy lights, and a lantern falling into the cart as they went.

At the register, Maya made sure to block her so she couldn't pay, surprised to see that the store offered an emergency services discount, so their cart that came to over one and a half thousand dropped by two hundred dollars.

"Thank you," Carina said, as they loaded the tent, sleeping bag, Maya’s shoes and whatever other things she'd picked up into the trunk of Maya’s Subaru.

"You're welcome."

"No I mean it, thank you. Not just for paying but for everything. For getting on board with my silly camping idea. For listening. For- well for everything."

"You make it easy," Maya simply answered, meeting their lips in a kiss, "I'll always show up for you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

The day had finally arrived.

Maya was up with the sun. She might not know much about camping, but she was an expert at packing cars. So whilst her wife slept, sprawled out on her front in their bed, she was playing the ultimate game of tetris and packing the car, remembering to leave the tent accessible, like Carina had told her.

It took her an hour, but the car was packed to perfection. She hadn't even needed to fold down the back seats. Suddenly, her Subaru was finally meeting its full potential as a rugged car owned by people who went camping, and not just a daily driver to and from work in the bustling city.

She had just sat down to begin placing their grocery pick up order- at a store near the campsite- when her wife rolled out of bed, hair sticking out at various funny angles, one eye still closed. She made a sleepy beeline for Maya climbing into her lap with a yawn.

"Hi, you, did you sleep well?" Maya soothed, adding a bar of chocolate to the cart for the s'mores Carina insisted they needed to make.

"Mmm."

"Still tired?" She asked, tickling Carina's back under her t-shirt.

"Mmm."

"You want cuddles in bed so you can sleep longer?"

"Mmm."

"Even though we should be leaving for camping in an h-"

Carina straightened up, eyes flying open. A huge smile immediately grew on her face. "We're going camping today!"

"We are, car is packed, I'm doing the grocery order now, all that's left is to have the last shower before we have no showers for three days and get on the road!"

"Did you pack the-"

"Everything went in," Maya flipped the page on the clipboard, "that's a check next to everything apart from clothes and our toiletries."

"Are you excited?" Carina grinned, tucking herself back into Maya’s neck.

"Mmm-hmm."

"You don't sound convinced."

"Maybe I'm a little nervous," she mumbled, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"You're going to love it. I promise. You love running on the trails, and going on long hikes with me. Now we're just adding sleeping in a tent. I promise you'll like it. But-"

"No, we're going I'm not- I'm not quitting on you. I want to do this."

Carina chuckled, "I was going to say if you hate it after one night we'll pack up and find a hotel."

"But then-"

"Then we've been camping and discovered you didn't like it and I'll just save my camping up for when we have kids." Carina shrugged, tucking back in against Maya’s neck.

"Maybe we'll have one like me and one like you," Maya mused, still adding things from their camping grocery list to the cart.

"Two babies?" Carina hummed, her tone just a little teasing.

"I think we could handle two. No more though. We can't be outnumbered, especially not on a camping trip. I can't imagine how stressful it is to camp with kids. We'd have to get a bigger car and-"

"We don't have kids."

"Yet." Maya added.

"Yet," Carina smiled, "so no stressing. That's a bridge we can cross when we get to it."

Maya smiled. "Okay."

"You've added coffee right?" Carina asked, cuddling in closer once again, her lashes fluttering closed against Maya’s neck.

"Yes."

"Good," she mumbled, yawning now.

Maya chuckled and kept adding items to the cart until the list was complete, her wife practically snoring against her neck. It was still early and Carina hadn't returned from work until after midnight the day before. So Maya was happy to tickle her back and let her sleep whilst she double checked the cart and ordered the groceries.

After ten more minutes of cuddling her close whilst she checked for traffic along the route, Maya realised they needed to move. She assumed the later they left the harder it would be to pitch the tent, and she did not want to be putting a tent up in the dark.

"Babe," Maya said gently, pressing kisses to the top of her head, teasing the back scratches.

"Mmmmm."

"We need to have a shower."

"Mmmm," she replied but tucked herself more into Maya’s side.

When she hadn't moved for a whole minute, Maya nudged her upright. "Come on. Shower."

Carina groaned dramatically.

"I'm awake now."

"Mm-hmm."

"I am," she blinked sleepily, going to cuddle back up.

"You're literally asleep on me."

"I'm conserving energy."

"Well let's conserve water too..." Maya suggested, knowing this would properly wake her up.

"As in?"

"It is our anniversary tomorrow."

Carina beamed and caught her lips in a long slow kiss that conveyed a thousand words.

"Shower?"

"Shower."

An hour later they emerged freshly showered, considerably less sleepy and running twenty minutes behind schedule.

Still there was enough time for an espresso whilst Carina pulled a large black coffee for the road.

She was buzzing with an excitement only camping brought her. A feeling that had been so absent from her life for so long, she wondered why she hadn't suggested this sooner, as she slipped her feet into her birkenstocks- a present from Maya at least two years ago which she'd never had the chance to use until now- and snagged the keys and her sunglasses.

Maya was already waiting for her in the car, Seahawks cap resting over a damp tangle of hair, sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose, a folder in hand as she inputted the route, and its various stops, into the satnav, her phone already going.

God she looked hot.

There was something about Maya in a baseball cap, already halfway through a checklist before noon, that did something to her.

It was a wonder they made it out of the shower... and then the bed.

Carina leaned in, and pressed her lips to Maya’s, grinning when the other woman jumped. She reached a hand up and smoothed her thumb over the crease in Maya’s brow which had reappeared the moment she'd pulled back.

"Are you saying," Carina began, sliding into the passenger seat, "that my fingers and that shower haven't erased all of that worry?"

"I'm just concentrating," Maya mumbled, entering the final zip code. "I've got the phone going for accurate traffic updates, but if we don't have service, I have the car's GPS. I have printed directions here," she pulled a clipboard out of the purple folder, and passed it to Carina. "And then we have the road map too," she added, leaning back and pulling the map out of the seat pocket behind Carina.

"We're not going to get lost."

"No, because I've prepared."

Carina chuckled and turned her wife's head towards her again, meeting their lips.

"Relax."

"I am."

Carina shook her head, slipped her coffee into the cup holder and pulled on her seat belt.

"The worst part of the journey will be getting out of Seattle, then Tacoma."

"So we should go?"

"We should go. Our first stop will be paradise point for some lunch before we swing east. But if you need the bathroom we can stop sooner, and really it depends on traffic. It's not so much a halfway point as a nice point to-" Carina cut her off with another kiss.

"It sounds perfect, now drive."

"Okay," Maya smiled, "let's go camping!"

"I'm so excited!" Carina grinned, squeezing Maya’s knee, "you're going to love it!"

Maya was right about the traffic, getting out of the city was slow. Carina chatted away about everything and nothing, pausing every so often to sing along to the road trip playlist Maya had been expertly curating since their first road trip a few weeks into their marriage.

By Tacoma she'd finished her coffee.

By Olympia her seat had reclined.

Somewhere south of Centralia, Maya glanced across to find her wife asleep, sunglasses slightly crooked, one hand still loosely wrapped around her arm.

Maya smiled, took her arm away slowly, turned the music down and brushed a stray curl off her cheek.

"I'll wake you up at paradise point."

Maya was the only one who got to enjoy the paradise that Paradise point offered. Carina had woken up long enough to ask for a coffee in her mug and then she'd curled back up and kept sleeping. Maya had happily obliged and filled the travel mug she knew would keep the coffee warm for as long as it took for Carina to wake up. Then she'd treated herself to a smoothie, used the bathroom- the last one that would flush for a while- and set off again, coming off the highway to wind along the mountain roads towards the Columbia river gorge.

"In five miles, turn left."

The road narrowed now, twisting between towering evergreens, patches of sunlight flickering across the bonnet.

"Your destination is on the left…"

Maya frowned.

"...Baby?"

No response.

"...Carina?"

One eye cracked open.

"...Mm?"

"I think we're here."

Yawning, Carina pushed herself upright, taking in the scene beyond the dashboard as Maya rolled the car to a stop.

She gasped.

"We're here!"

Maya smiled despite the nerves that had started rolling in her belly upon seeing the first sign for ‘River’s Edge Campground’.

"We are. What do we do now? Do we just drive and pick a spot?"

"No, definitely not. We have to go into the campsite office," Carina said, pointing to a slightly leaning wooden cabin about a hundred yards up the track.

"Okay," Maya nodded, moving the car forward, bringing it to a stop next to the cabin.

"Come on!" Carina grabbed the folder and bounced out of the car, no hint of the dead-to-the-world sleepiness from two minutes ago.

She waited at the front of the car, hand stretched out for Maya, practically buzzing on the spot. Maya allowed herself to be dragged into the wonky cabin taking everything in.

It was small inside, smaller than she expected but she attributed that to the raw-edged shelves stacked with what she presumed were supplies people needed when they camped. It didn’t feel quite as wonky inside, the outside lean translating into a wall that tilted to the left just a little more than it should. There was a desk at the front, it looked like it had been made out of a slab cut directly from a large tree, bark still on the wobbly edge. Behind it a woman, who must have been in her late fifties sat, her legs hiked up on the desk, a book called Atmosphere pinched between her fingers. She had cropped grey hair and her glasses were hooked around her neck with a rainbow beaded glasses string.

"Hello, we have a-"

The woman jumped. "My goodness y'all scared me," she clutched her chest. "Hon, you've got campers," she yelled before turning back to Maya and Carina. "My wife deals with the bookings and the camping, I run the shop. Y'all do not want me booking you in."

Maya turned to Carina briefly, squeezing her hand.

A bright smiling lady with long dark brown hair appeared in the doorway behind the desk. Her skin was more tanned than her wife's and she had a few crow's feet and smile lines.

"Our first campers of the day!" She beamed. "Have you booked with us?"

Carina nodded, "it should be under DeLuca-Bishop. A medium pitch by the river for two nights."

She flipped the page on her clipboard and began running her finger down a list. "DeLuca-Bishop, DeLuca-Bishop, DeLuca-Bi- ah-ha, yes got you, you guys are on pitch number 11, have you been with us before?" She asked, grabbing a stack of papers.

Carina shook her head, "no, we haven't."

"Alright, not a problem. I'm gonna walk y'all down to the pitch anyway. But this is a map of the site, we are here," she circled a drawing of the hut, "and your pitch over here by the river," she moved over to the long edge of the map and circled. "You're not too far away from the north toilet block, which is here," another circle on the map. "And your nearest faucet is also there."

Maya nodded a mixture of anxiety and excitement bubbling in her chest. They were really doing this. They were really going camping on a pitch next to the Columbia river.

Carina squeezed her hand three times, as if she knew that was what Maya needed.

"Y'all booked a fire pit and fire wood right?" She asked, though went back to her list.

"We did,” Carina answered.

"Awesome, Jamie will grab the firewood for you now, and I'll bring the fire pit in the golf buggy. Do you want anything from the shop before we leave?"

"No, thank you."

"You need help loading the firepit, hon?" Jamie asked her wife, as she hauled a bag of firewood onto her shoulder like it weighed nothing.

"It's already in there," she replied, grabbing the welcome pack and heading past them, leading them back out to their waiting car.

"Nice car," Jamie nodded, tossing the firewood into the back of a golf buggy Maya hadn't noticed before. "Isn't it nice, Kirsten?"

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "You're obsessed with Subarus, Jaim."

"I've had her since I was in my twenties and she's still running with no issues," Maya said, beaming.

"Quality cars. Kirsten won't let us buy one."

"They're just not as highly rated in the snow, and we get snow and mud slides here. We need a rugged four by four. Anyway, enough falling in love with people's cars," Kirsten said, "I'll pull the buggy out and you guys follow me."

Maya nodded and climbed into the car, drying her palms onto her shorts. She pulled her seat belt on, turned on the car and waited to hear the click of Carina’s belt. When it didn’t come, she turned to look at her wife who was looking back at her expectantly, as Kirsten’s golf cart sped past.

“Bambina…”

“Your belt.”

“It’s private property.”

"Physics doesn't care. Belt."

“Maya-”

“Carina-”

Carina sighed and pulled her belt on, as Maya rolled the car forward behind Kirsten who had stopped for her.

They drove slowly, winding through towering evergreens, past secluded pitches tucked between the trees. Every so often Maya caught glimpses of the Columbia River sparkling through the trunks before it disappeared again behind dense undergrowth.

Eventually Kirsten slowed the buggy and pulled onto a small gravel parking area.

"This is you."

Maya eased the Subaru in behind her and climbed out.

For a moment, nobody spoke.

The pitch sat beneath enormous fir trees, dappled sunlight dancing across the mossy ground. A weathered picnic table stood off to one side beside a stone fire ring. Beyond that, a narrow dirt path disappeared through the trees. Maya could hear rushing water somewhere beyond it.

“Woah,” she breathed.

Carina breathed in deeply the scent of pine and fresh air filling her lungs.

“Perfetto.”

"It gets better," Kirsten smiled. "Go have a look."

Carina didn't need telling twice.

She caught Maya's hand and all but dragged her down the little path.

Twenty seconds later the trees opened up.

The Columbia River stretched out before them, broad and glittering beneath the afternoon sun. The opposite bank rose steeply into towering cliffs covered in pine, while the current rolled lazily past their feet.

Carina simply stood there.

Maya looked at the view.

Then at her wife.

The view was beautiful.

Carina's face was even prettier.

"I think," Maya said quietly, "I'm beginning to understand."

Carina looked over.

"What?"

"I've never seen you smile like this."

Carina's smile softened.

"I missed this."

“I’ll leave y’all to it,” they heard Kirsten call from the campsite, “call in at the office if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Maya called, squeezing Carina’s hand.

Carina turned to face her, a sparkle in her eye she’d never seen before. Like peace and happiness and… joy all rolled into one.

“I love you,” Maya whispered.

“I love you,” Carina replied, pressing their foreheads together.

Neither of them moved. The sound of the river and the rustle of trees mingled around them, as they breathed one another in. Maya made the first move, meeting their lips in a soft, slow kiss that meant nothing but I love you.

Eventually Carina pulled back, “ready to build our home for the night?”

Maya immediately worried her lip between her teeth. “...Yes, I think so.”

“Andiamo,” Carina beamed and pulled her off the shore and back onto the dirt track.

In no time, thanks to Maya’s packing skills, they had the tent pulled out of the car. Carina unzipped the bag and tipped the items onto the bed.

Maya looked between her wife and the various components of the tent and chuckled.

"...How hard can it be?"

Carina grinned.

"...Don't jinx it."

Maya crouched down and reached for the instructions. Carina immediately yanked them out of her hand and tossed them onto the ground.

“Hey, I was reading that.”

“We don’t need instructions, Bambina, it’s self explanatory. Now,” she crouched and pulled the big roll of fabric towards her, “which way do you want the entrance to face?”

“Uhhhhhhh…” Maya spun on the spot, trying to decide. “I guess facing the way the river is? Or should it face the firepit? I don’t know, I have no idea?”

Carina smiled, “when you wake up hours before me, and you come out and convert the door into an awning, what would you like to see?”

“The path to the water.”

“Then that’s the way we will face it,” Carina said decidedly, rolling the footprint out and spinning it around so the front was facing the view.

“Okay so now you take the… the… the picchetti per tenda,” Carina passed Maya a few tent pegs, “and we pull the footprint out so it is tight but not too tight.”

“Tight but not too tight,” Maya repeated, she had no idea what that meant, but her wife was already pushing stakes into the ground with her now boot-covered feet, so she did the same… immediately bending a peg. Maya pulled it out of the ground and watched more closely as Carina pushed yet another into the ground with ease. Maya tried again, pushing it in as far as she could with her hand before swapping to her foot. Once again it bent.

“How…” she moaned, “how are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Carina asked, getting progressively closer to her.

“Pushing them into the ground like that, I’ve already bent two of them,” Maya said, holding up the two crooked pegs.

Carina chuckled and took one from her, pulling the loop of elastic on the footprint out until it was taut but not tight. Then she angled the peg slightly and pushed it into the dirt with her foot. “It’s all about the angles, Bambina.”

Maya found the poles a lot easier to navigate than the pegs. She and Carina got into a rhythm, Maya unfolding them and clipping them together whilst Carina managed to thread them through the sleeve with relative ease. Then Carina would clip the pole in and she’d use her muscles to bend and clip the other end into its respective clip. In no time they had the inside of the tent constructed.

Maya nodded, impressed. "That's... actually kind of satisfying."

"I told you." Carina grinned, reaching for the flysheet. She undid the ties and rolled it out, instructing Maya to hold the other side. Together they pulled it over the tent, clipped it down, pegged it to the floor and stepped back, staring at their assembled tent.

Maya squinted.

"...Question."

"Mm?"

"Should the door line up with the door?"

Carina blinked.

They both looked.

Carina stepped closer, undoing the zip for the door, surprised when it opened up not onto the inside door, but the sleep compartment of the inner tent.

Long pause.

"...Fanculo."

"..."

"I've put it on backwards."

Maya couldn’t help herself. "I thought we didn't need the instructions."

Carina sighed dramatically. "I haven't pitched this model before. And anyway, the instructions wouldn’t have helped me put it on the right way around."

"I see."

"...Not a word." Carina said, pointing her finger at Maya warningly.

Maya held her hands up in mock surrender, "I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it."

"I was absolutely thinking it,” Maya admitted, chuckling.”

“Undo it,” Carina waved at the offending flysheet, “and we can spin it around.”

Once that was rectified, it was time, Carina declared, for all of the fun stuff.

“Fun stuff? Like what?” Maya asked, watching her wife pull everything out of the car, clearly looking for something.

"Where are the lights, Bambina?"

Maya didn't even have to think.

"Left side of the trunk. Behind the blue storage box. In a clear box with other things."

Carina froze.

Slowly, she turned around.

"You didn't even need to look?"

"I packed the car. Have you found them?"

"I'm still looking," Carina mumbled rummaging through the box looking for the string lights."

"They're in the black bag."

"Which black bag? There's multiple black bags."

Maya stared at her.

"The one labelled lights."

"Oh-"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Got them!" Carina beamed, running over to her wife.

"I have a question," Maya said, watching Carina begin to wrap the lights around the front guylines.

"Sì."

"I packed the car how I assumed we'd set the tent up. Is there a reason we're not putting the things in that makes the bedroom? Or setting up our cooking area?"

"We're camping, Bambina," she leaned and kissed Maya, "we have all of the time in the world."

"So what should I do?"

"Open your camp chair, crack a beer and relax."

"Beer? It's a little early, Carina."

"We're on vacation, we have nowhere we need to be..." she crossed to the car and flipped open the lid of the coolbox, pulling out a can of beer for Maya. She opened it, took a few sips and passed it over. "Have a beer, Bambina. You've earned it."

Maya was beginning to suspect that Carina had been holding out on her.

She'd known her wife could cook. Obviously she knew that. She'd eaten enough of Carina's food over the years to know that her wife could turn almost anything into something delicious. But this was different.

This was a camp stove.

A single pan.

A handful of ingredients from Walmart instead of their usual Trader Joe's, Sprouts and the fresh produce from the farmer’s market when they got to it.

And somehow, Carina was making dinner look like it belonged in one of their favourite restaurants.

Maya sat back in her camping chair, legs stretched out in front of her, watching as Carina moved around their makeshift kitchen with an ease that suggested she'd been doing this her entire life. She had a plastic stemmed cup of white wine in one hand, sipping occasionally as she stirred with the other.

"You're staring."

"I'm amazed," Maya replied simply.

"Cosa? Perché?"

"Everything I knew about camping, or I read online or watched videos, people were eating rehydrated food, or like cup o noodles or I don't know, not our kind of food. But I just assumed it was because it was limited to what you could make. But now-"

"Now I'm making you fried gnocchi with broccoli and pancetta and parmesan."

"Yeah..."

"None of your research brought you to an Italian who has been cooking on camp stoves since she was twelve. None of your research brought you to someone who can't allow you to eat salty, GMO filled cup o noodles and expect no belly ache."

"None of my research brought me to my wife."

"No," Carina smiled, tasting a piece of gnocchi. She did a little wiggle of happiness when it was perfectly cooked and waved Maya over, "bring the bowls, per favore."

Maya snagged the plastic bowls and carried them over, her mouth watering as Carina split the pan between them. She finished it with a flurry of parmesan and planted a kiss on Maya’s lips before she could take a bite. "Enjoy."

"If it tastes that good on your lips…" she chased her lips again, "then I'm going to love it."

Carina chuckled and sat down on the little picnic table they had provided, patting the bench next to her. Maya sat down, loaded up her fork and took a bite.

The resulting moan was entirely involuntary.

"Bambina!"

"I can't help it," Maya said, loading up another forkful. "Holy shit Carina, this is so good."

"Yeah?"

"Are you kidding? This is excellent. I can't believe you cooked this on a tiny stove."

"It's not much different to at home."

"This is- you need to write a camp food cook book."

"You've had one meal."

"Even if the cook book only had this, I would buy it. It's excellent, Carina."

"You flatter me."

"It's the truth."

They continued to eat in relative silence, Maya swapping her fork into her left hand so they could hold hands, their fingers tangling under the table.

Eventually Carina finished, the speed at which she ate always surprised Maya, who had always eaten slow to savour her food. She tipped her head onto Maya’s shoulder, playing with her ring.

"You can sit in my lap and cuddle if you want," Maya chuckled.

"How did you know?" Carina asked, immediately climbing into Maya’s lap.

"I've been married to you for long enough to know that you love cuddles," Maya said, wiping her mouth before kissing Carina’s cheek. "You're just a cuddly kind of person. I knew that from the moment you cuddled me after our first time."

"I was never cuddly before I met you."

"Ditto."

"Are you having fun?"

"More fun than I expected," Maya mused, tickling her lower back like always.

"Good."

They eventually moved back to the camp chair, Carina cuddled just as close, hands playing with Maya’s ring again, as they digested their food and listened to the sounds of nature. Overhead birds tweeted, the leaves rustled and the river rushed on by beyond their camp. If there were other camps nearby they couldn't hear them. It felt like they were completely alone, just them and nature existing together.

Maya kissed the top of her head and settled further into the chair, content to let the evening stretch lazily around them.

She closed her eyes.

This was nice.

Really nice.

Then her bladder reminded her that she'd been holding it for the last couple of hours. And now it felt like her second can of beer had joined the half gallon of water and first can of beer in it.

Maya ignored it.

Carina shifted in her lap, making herself more comfortable.

Maya's eyes squeezed shut.

She could wait longer.

Probably.

"Mm," Carina hummed, nuzzling closer.

Maya swallowed.

She could definitely wait.

They'd only just sat down.

"Carina?"

"Mmm?"

"How far away is the bathroom?"

"About two minutes," she'd wandered down earlier, whilst Maya built their campfire ready for when it got dark.

"Okay."

"Why," she pushed herself up, "you need to go?"

"No, I'm fine," Maya said, but Carina’s new position made her bladder scream.

"Your eyes are watering."

"I'm fine."

"Are you scared to go?"

"No, I don't need it yet."

"Bambina-"

"I'm fine, come on," she patted her chest.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"What about the fire?"

"It's fine."

"Maybe we should put it out anyway, it's getting late and-"

"It's barely 9pm."

"But we can just cuddle in the tent and read or play a game."

"Are you okay, Bambina?" Carina asked, wondering why Maya had gone from relaxed to jittery and a little anxious in the space of a minute.

"I just really need a pee," Maya admitted, words tumbling out now she'd finally started. "But I don't want the fire to be left unattended and I'm ruining your experience and I know you've been waiting for this and-"

"Amore mio."

Carina pulled her into a hug.

Maya let herself be held for approximately three seconds before shifting impatiently against her.

"I really need to go."

"I know."

"But I don't want to ruin this for you."

"You're not ruining anything."

"But you wanted the whole camping experience and- and now we have to put the fire out because I need to pee. And I'm ruining-"

"Bambina," Carina said, tucking a strand behind her ear, "it's okay. The fire will still be here tomorrow.

"I can just go to the bathroom on my own and you can watch the fire."

"I know you're worried about the bathroom," Carina said, and grabbed the bucket of water Maya had filled up earlier, dumping it onto the flame. Maya watched the last glowing embers hiss and disappear.

"There," Carina said. "Fire dealt with."

Maya nodded, but she still looked worried.

Carina took her hand.

"We go to the bathroom. We come back. We cuddle. Nothing has been ruined."

Maya swallowed.

"You promise?"

Carina's expression softened.

"I promise."

Maya nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Okay."

They'd barely made it three steps before Maya stopped.

"Wait."

Carina turned.

"What?"

"Do we need anything?"

Carina looked at her.

"For the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Like what?" Carina frowned.

"Toilet paper? Hand sanitiser?"

"They have toilet paper, and a rainwater tap... with soap."

Maya nodded and set off again, trying not to focus on how much she needed to pee and how bad the toilet she was about to pee in would be.

"It's a nice toilet, bambina," Carina said, squeezing her hand "you don't need to worry."

"That's easier said than done."

Carina chuckled as they rounded the corner and the toilet block came into view. It was a small building with a sink on the outside.

"It actually looks... nice."

"I told you," Carina said, pulling her the last few steps to the toilet. She opened the door for Maya and stepped back.

"You're gonna have to come in with me."

"Bambina, it's absolutely-"

"Please."

"Okay," Carina stepped in first and pulled Maya in with her.

The toilet was cramped with two people in it, but to Maya’s surprise it was clean, extremely clean. And it didn't smell. And there was a bright light so she could see what she was doing.

"See, it's nice." Carina said, watching Maya take the space in.

"Can you go first?"

"You're desperate, bambina."

"I can't- please."

"Okay," she said gently, realising Maya needed to see everything was okay.

Carina pulled down her shorts and sat down, looking up at her very jittery wife as she peed.

"It's fine, you'll be fine," she said, as she wiped and stood back up.

"Okay," Maya said, taking a deep breath before she sat down, grabbing onto Carina’s hand tightly, as she screwed up her eyes and imagined she was in her bathroom at home.

"I can't-" she began when her bladder finally relaxed and she peed... for ages.

"Madonna, bambina, you must have been desperate."

"I was," Maya mumbled, still peeing, still holding her wife's hand.

Once she was done she sat there for a moment. "That was actually- okay."

Carina gave her a look and leaned forward kissing her forehead, leaning back when Maya started laughing.

"What?"

"It's just a toilet."

Carina rolled her eyes, giving her the most 'I told you so' look known to man.

"Do not."

"I didn't say anything."

"Your face did."

"Andiamo, wash your hands, stupido," she said affectionately, kissing Maya’s cheek.

"You don't even want to know some of the toilets I saw in my research, they were horrifying."

"I know, I've stayed in campsites where there are terrible toilets. I'd never subject you to that."

"That is very much appreciated."

With hands washed, they headed back to the tent to get ready for bed. Carina rinsed the dishes with some water and a cloth, cleaning off the food smell, whilst Maya loaded the cooler and other food into the bear box that was on the edge of their camp. Carina put the plates in there whilst Maya loaded in their toiletries once they'd brushed their teeth.

"What if a bear comes?"

"We will be fine. We are doubly protected. And there's been no bear sightings, the noticeboard by the bathroom said so."

"I did research and it said it was only the American black bear and they're shy and they don't come into human areas."

"So we'll be okay."

"We'll be okay," Maya nodded, securing the bear box.

They headed hand in hand back over to their tent, stepping inside. Carina had put string lights in here too, so it was glowing.

"Pyjama time!" Maya beamed, heading over to the hanging wardrobe she'd purchased so that their clothes didn't need to sit in bags on the floor.

"You bought pyjamas?" Carina asked, peeling off her sweater.

"You didn't?"

"No. I sleep hot, you know I barely wear them at home, and we're sharing a sleeping bag," she said, as her t-shirt came off and she reached around for her bra.

"What about bugs?" Maya asked, stepping out of her leggings and into some sweatpants.

"What about them?"

"You're going to get eaten alive, Carina," Maya said, quickly stripping out of her clothes and pulling on a thick hoodie.

"Why do you care if I get bitten? Is it because you're the only person allowed to bite me?" Carina asked, stepping out of her underwear.

Even in the glow of the fairy lights Carina could see the blush creep its way onto Maya’s cheeks.

"It's our anniversary, bambina."

"I'm not about to get bitten alive."

"There are zero bugs in this tent, we've had the door closed all day. Take off your clothes."

Maya simply tucked her hoodie into her sweatpants. "Nope."

"You're ridiculous."

"Carina, it's cold and we're camping and there's bugs, and you're wearing nothing," Maya said as she pulled her socks on and tucked her pants into them.

"You're overdramatic," Carina shrugged, unzipping their bedroom and stepping inside, reaching a hand out for Maya. Maya huffed, and accepted.

Carina grinned and pulled back the sleeping bag, climbing in first, holding it open for her.

"Your wife wants the cuddles you promised."

Maya rolled her eyes, but climbed in, immediately disappearing beneath the thick duvet-like warmth of it. Carina pulled the sleeping bag up around them, closing the zip before settling onto her side.

For a few seconds Maya remained stiff.

Then Carina opened her arms, and coughed.

Maya sighed dramatically.

"You're very needy."

"Mm-hmm."

Maya shuffled closer until her body fitted against Carina's, her head settling beneath her wife's chin. Carina wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in tight.

Maya relaxed almost immediately.

"Oh."

Carina smiled into her hair.

"Comfortable?"

"Very."

"Was it worth the money?"

"I'll tell you for sure in the morning."

"That doesn’t sound like a no."

"It's very comfortable," she found Carina’s hand, tangling their fingers together against her bare chest.

Carina laughed softly.

Her hand drifted down Maya's back, slipping beneath the hem of her hoodie.

Maya immediately shivered.

"Cold hands."

"They're not cold."

"They're freezing."

"They're perfectly warm."

"You're using my back and hoodie to warm them up," Maya huffed.

"Sue me for wanting to feel my wife's skin."

"You'll see when I have no bites and you have twenty."

"Not happening," Carina sighed.

"Sure."

Maya let out a content sigh, kissed her wife's fingers and let her eyes drift closed.

Beyond the canvas of their tent, the river rushed by, the trees shifted gently in the breeze, and the rest of the world carried on without them.

Maya felt her body relax, easing with sleep as Carina’s hand curled further under her top.

Her mind quietened.

And maybe, she thought sleepily, Carina had been right.

Maybe camping wasn't so bad after all.

Maya woke up hot.

Not warm.

Not cosy.

Hot.

Absolutely boiling, hard to breathe, hot.

Without much thought, she sat up, freeing herself clumsily from the sleeping bag.

Next to her Carina squeaked and groaned, her bare back exposed. Before Maya could fix it, she burrowed down deeper, so all that was visible was a tanned hand and a nest of dark brown hair.

Maya stared for a moment, wondering how Carina could cope, when she remembered the hoodie... and the sweatpants... and the socks.

Out of the sleeping bag she was still too warm. Still bordering on boiling. So she leaned down, pressed a kiss to Carina’s head, whispered "happy anniversary," and headed out of the tent as quietly as possible.

She stopped.

The campsite wasn't the same place they'd gone to sleep in.

Morning mist hung low over the river, turning the opposite bank soft and hazy. The enormous trees were still, their branches catching the first golden light of the day. Somewhere nearby a bird called, answered by another farther down the river.

There was no traffic.

No sirens.

No neighbours arguing through thin apartment walls.

No sound of the city at all.

Just birdsong, the soft rush of the river and the occasional creak of trees moving in the breeze.

Maya stood there for a moment.

Then she looked back at the tent.

Carina was asleep.

Maya smiled.

She pulled on her shoes and retrieved a camp chair from the car, sinking into it with a quiet sigh. She grabbed her book and opened it.

She read.

And for once, she didn't feel like she ought to be doing something else.

There was no email she needed to answer. No fire to go to. Nothing she could be brushing up upon.

She could just sit there.

Read.

Listen.

Breathe.

After an hour, the campsite was more alive, people waved hello as they walked by, a group of kayakers floated past and Maya’s stomach was starting to rumble. Whilst cooking breakfast was off the cards, lest she make the lumpiest, rawest, most burnt pancakes known to man, she did think she could probably manage a coffee, and a couple of the strawberries they'd bought to go on top of the pancakes.

She carefully lifted the camp kitchen out of the tent, and retrieved the cooler from the bear box.

It took thirty minutes to get the stove to work.

Her first issue was constructing it, her wife had taken it apart to store the night before and putting it back together proved tricky. Then there was lighting it. She turned up the gas, listened to the ignition click and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

No bright blue flame appeared. No roaring from the gas canister... nothing.

Maya wasn't about to give up though. After trying with the lighter they'd used for the fire the night before, she determined they'd run out of gas. Luckily for them, Maya knew they had about six more.

After fighting the stove to get it fit, she tried the ignition again, cheering when she saw the flame.

It immediately extinguished.

Maya’s heart sank.

She tried again, delight flooding her system when it re-lit immediately, only to go out.

"What am I doing wrong?" She mumbled to herself, as once again the flame disappeared. "Why is this-"

A gust of the breeze whipped her hair.

"Idiot," she sighed to herself. She'd seen Carina move the stove around the day before, seen her use the box it came in to protect it. She'd asked. Carina had told her about the wind.

Maya stood the hard plastic case the stove came in on its side and positioned it and the stove so it was blocking the wind. Then she tried again, turning the dial waiting to hear the click and see the flame.

Click.

Click.

Bright blue flame.

Maya beamed turning it down until it was almost extinguished. She'd been with her wife long enough to know that the moka pot needed low and slow. That patience was a virtue.

She filled the pot with the coffee they'd bought, added the water and put it on the stove.

And waited.

Barely taking her eyes off it.

Listening for the gentle bubble she was so accustomed to.

At the first bubble, she reached for their mugs, opting for travel mugs so it would stay warm in the cool morning air.

Then she waited.

Checked its progress.

And waited.

Finally, she poured the coffee into Carina's travel mug, there wasn't enough for her own, added the amount of milk she knew her wife liked and screwed the lid on tightly.

She stared at it.

Then at the tent.

She'd done it.

Maya Bishop had made coffee on a camping stove.

Without Carina.

She couldn't stop the little smile that spread across her face.

She picked up the mug and walked back towards the tent.

Maya unzipped the door carefully and poked her head inside the bedroom compartment.

Carina was exactly like she'd left her. All hair and sleeping bag.

"Babe?"

Carina made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a complaint.

"Carina."

"Mmm."

"I have something for you."

One eye opened.

Carina blinked sleepily at her.

"Cosa?"

Maya held up the mug. "Coffee."

Carina stared at it.

Then at Maya.

Then back at the mug.

"You made coffee?" Her little tired voice croaked.

"Yes."

"On the camp stove?"

"Yes."

Carina's face changed.

The sleepiness disappeared beneath the softest, most ridiculously proud smile Maya had ever seen.

"Bambina."

"Don't make it a thing," maya mumbled shyly, feeling her cheeks heat up already

"You made me coffee."

"I make you coffee all the time."

"Not camping coffee."

Maya rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to drink it or not?"

Carina pushed herself upright and held out both hands, making a grabby motion at Maya.

"Come here."

"Coffee first."

"Come here."

Maya sighed, but crawled into the tent and handed over the mug.

Carina took one sip.

Her eyes closed.

"Perfetto, amore mio, perfetto."

Maya's chest warmed.

"Yeah?"

Carina opened her eyes.

"Perfect."

"Okay, good."

Carina reached for her.

Maya barely had time to put the mug safely beside them before Carina pulled her down against her chest.

"Hey-"

"My wife made me camping coffee on our anniversary."

"Which you almost spilled."

Carina kissed her temple.

"Never."

Maya settled against her, listening to the river outside.

After a moment, Carina murmured, "Did you sleep well?"

"I did actually," Maya nodded. "I didn’t think I would. But I did. I was a little warm when I woke up."

Carina's shoulders started shaking.

"Don't."

"I told you-"

"Don't say it."

"-you'd be hot."

Maya lifted her head.

"You were naked."

"I was comfortable. The perfect temperature."

"You were naked in a tent in the woods."

"Yes."

"With bugs."

"Which did not eat me."

"Yet."

Carina laughed and pulled her closer.

Maya tried to remain annoyed.

She failed.

Particularly when Carina's lips pressed against hers. And then her hands started wandering. And the coffee was forgotten.

"Happy anniversary," Carina said between hungry kisses, "you're wearing far too many clothes."

"We have to leave the tent at some point," Maya mumbled, pressing lazy kisses against Carina's sternum.

"You mean we can't stay here and have sesso all day?" Carina chuckled, arching under her wife's mouth.

"You're making it very difficult."

"Your lips... and hands... and... tongue are making it difficult."

"Oh really," Maya beamed, looking up at her wife.

"Don't sound so surprised, bambina," Carina laughed, turning them over in the sleeping bag, her hands crawling slowly, painfully slowly, to her wife's chest.

"No, no, no," Maya mumbled, flipping them again.

"No?"

"No, we have to go on a hike. We have to do camping things."

"Sex is camping things," Carina smirked.

"I didn't learn about that in any of my research," Maya muttered, reaching for the nearest item of clothing; Carina's t-shirt from the day before.

"Amore-"

"Babe, come on," Maya wiggled herself out of the sleeping bag and pulled on her sweatpants.

"Amore mio," Carina pouted, holding her hands out for Maya.

"You picked camping, come on, we have to at least do one nature activity," Maya said, pulling her up.

"But-"

"I know, but there was that hike you were excited to do. With the hot springs... and my swimsuit..."

"What one did you pack?" Carina asked, her interest piqued.

"You'll have to get up and find out."

"Ugh," Carina stood up, stretching her lanky body as she did. "Fine."

"We can fall back into bed later."

"Only bed?"

"Wherever," Maya kissed her, long and soft and slow and just a little hungrily, "you want, my love."

"You can't kiss me like that and expect me to just keep my hands to myself."

"Sure I can, I married you."

"That's why you shouldn't expect me to be able to resist."

Maya laughed, catching Carina's face between her hands and kissing her again.

"Come on."

"Where is the urgency coming from all of a sudden?"

"You wanted to hike."

"I want to do many things."

"Yes, and we're going to do all of them. Eventually."

"Eventually?"

Maya gave her a pointed look. "Carina."

"Fine."

Carina reluctantly turned towards the pile of clothes they'd left beside the tent, pulling on her leggings.

Maya watched her for a moment.

"You can't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that."

"We're never gonna leave are we?"

Carina threw a bundled up pair of hiking socks at her. "Get dressed."

"I am dressed."

"In your hiking gear."

Maya grinned, stole one final kiss, tapped her wife on the bum and turned to her hanging wardrobe, reaching for her swimsuit and hiking clothes.

By the time they'd been walking for nearly an hour, Maya had stopped thinking about her feet.

Which, she realised, was probably the highest compliment she could give Carina's boot-shopping expertise.

Usually, by this point in a hike, her ankle would have started making itself known. Nothing dramatic, nothing that would stop her, but that familiar little ache would have settled into the joint, reminding her that she'd pushed it a little too far.

Instead, there was nothing.

No ache.

No twinge.

Nothing.

Just the crunch of gravel under her feet and the chorus of birds as they passed through towering evergreens that dappled the light on the trail and sent it scattering in a thousand different directions.

Maya breathed deeply.

The air smelled like pine and dirt and fresh air.

Somewhere below them the river rushed on reliably, sometimes loud enough to hear clearly, sometimes fading into the background.

It was beautiful.

More than that, it was peaceful.

There was no traffic. No sirens. No phones ringing. No hospital. No patients. No schedules.

Just this.

Her and Carina.

Maya glanced over.

Her wife was walking behind her.

Way behind her.

oops

Maya came to a stop and leaned against the embankment, watching her wife meander slowly up the path.

Their hike had started with conversations, with dinner plans and story swapping. But as the path had started its climb, it had dropped off.

Maya swung her backpack off and pulled out the water bottle taking a long swig. Then she fished out a granola bar and took a bite, saving the rest for her wife who would no doubt be hungry.

"You walk too fast for someone with such tiny legs," Carina grumbled, as she eventually reached Maya.

"My legs aren't tiny."

"Yes they are. And you're walking far too fast," Carina said, dropping onto a boulder next to Maya.

"I'm walking at a normal pace," Maya said, holding the granola bar out for her.

"You're practically running."

"I hadn't realised," Maya said, biting her lip. She held the water out for Carina.

"It's okay, are you having fun?" Carina asked, playing with Maya’s fingers.

"Yeah, it's beautiful. And my ankle doesn't hurt. Normally after an hour of hiking it hurts. But it doesn't... at all."

"That's amazing, Amore."

"We're almost there," Maya said, showing Carina the folded up trail map they'd got from Kirsten and Jamie that morning. "0.2 miles."

"And in not American for your not American wife?" Carina asked, gulping down some more water.

"Not far. We'll reach the turning where we cut inwards to the springs in about five minutes. Then we can take a dip, enjoy lunch and sunbathe."

"How are you so cheerful?"

"I love hiking. Sure it's normally on the small trails in Seattle and not this place," she spun on the spot admiring the chasmus basin they were in.

"I think I wasted all of my energy on sex."

"Wasted? It's never wasted."

"Allora, used then," Carina said, tipping her head into Maya’s stomach. "We could have driven."

"It's not as fun," Maya said, tickling her back, "we're almost done. And if you really don't want to walk back, I'll run back and get you in the car."

"It's fine, I'm just-"

"Tired."

"Yeah, I need a nap, and lunch."

"Sounds perfect to me, come on," Maya held her hands out ready to pull her up.

"We've barely had a break."

"We've been stopped for a good five minutes," Maya said, showing Carina her watch, which had started a timer every time she paused.

"You've been stopped for five minutes... I've barely had a minute."

"Okay, okay," Maya chuckled, sitting on the rock next to her, snaking her arm around Carina and drawing her in closer. "Sorry," she mumbled, kissing her temple.

"I'm enjoying the hike though," Carina mumbled, taking another sip of water.

"Good, me too, it's so peaceful."

"The perfect escape from life."

"Exactly," Maya grinned.

The last few months, well years actually, hadn't been easy. Trying to grow your family, to have a baby, was hard, she'd seen the negative tests, the needles, the heartbroken sobs. She'd felt that pain. It had almost ruined them. Their first IVF transfer was in just over a month. When they got back, they'd be starting injections up again.

This trip was the perfect escape.

"We're gonna bring our baby here," Maya spoke out into the world.

"Yeah?"

"Mmm-hmm. In one of those big backpacks where they can see everything. And when they're big enough they'll walk it."

"You promise?" Carina's chin wobbled as she asked.

"I promise, my love."

"We should keep going, make sure it's all kid safe."

Maya chuckled and stood up, "come on, my baby, ten more minutes."

"Ten Maya minutes?"

"Ten actual minutes." Maya kissed her cheek. "Come on."

Carina grumbled something in Italian but followed, their hands finding each other again as they continued down the trail.

And Maya couldn't stop smiling.

She was walking through the trees with her wife, the river rushing somewhere below them and the promise of hot springs and her wife in a bikini waiting at the end of the trail.

"What are you doing? You're gonna burn it," Carina laughed, watching Maya thrust her marshmallow loaded stick directly into the flame.

"I've never done this before, what am I meant to do?" She asked, pulling her blackened marshmallow out of the flame, biting her lip.

"You've never toasted marshmallows before?"

"No."

"That's so sad. It's such an American thing, I can't believe you've never."

"You're forgetting I grew up with my Dad. He'd have never allowed it," Maya said with a small shrug, "now show me what I'm doing."

"I hate your dad," Carina mumbled, pouting.

"Me too," Maya chuckled sadly, "especially if it turns out that I really like s'mores and I've been missing out on them for my whole life. Now, show me where I went wrong."

"First of all this one has to go," Carina used her stick to flick Maya’s burnt marshmallow into the flames.

"Rude."

"That was not a marshmallow anymore. That was charcoal."

"Okay. So what do I do?"

Carina picked up a fresh marshmallow and pushed it onto the end of her stick for her.

"You don't put it in the fire," she said simply. "You hold it above the fire."

"How far?" Maya asked, looking between her marshmallow and the dancing flames.

"Like this."

Carina held her own marshmallow over the flames, rotating the stick slowly between her fingers.

"Slowly. You want it to brown, not burn. And keep turning it, we want it evenly browned."

"Okay."

Maya copied her, concentrating hard, eyes flicking between hers and Carina’s.

"Am I doing it?"

"You're still too close, amore."

Maya moved her stick higher.

"Now?"

"Too high. That's just gonna warm it, we want toasted."

"I can't do this."

"Come here."

Carina moved behind her, sliding one arm around Maya's waist and reaching for her wrist with the other hand.

Maya immediately went still.

"Like this," Carina murmured, adjusting the angle of her hand. "You want the heat, but not the flame."

"Okay."

"Slowly turn it." Carina guided her hand in a lazy circle.

"How do you know it's okay?"

"If it's going dark, the easiest thing to do is pull it out and check if you're happy with the colour or if you want more."

Maya nodded and pulled her marshmallow back, Carina's hands on hers. "Thoughts?"

"Getting there, needs longer," Carina said resting her chin on Maya’s shoulder.

"It's actually working."

"Of course it's working."

Maya smiled.

Carina's hand dropped from Maya’s hands, settling on her waist cuddling her close, her eyes watching Maya’s progress, her own s'more abandoned.

"Keep turning it."

They stood like that for a while, Carina's body warm against her back and the fire crackling in front of them.

"It must be ready now."

"Pull it out and see," Carina said, reaching for the plate where they'd prepared the chocolate and graham cracker stacks.

"Yeah," Maya said, inspecting the marshmallow, "I think it's ready, is it ready?"

Carina leaned around her to get a better look, "sì, she's ready. Allora, now we put it onto the cracker with the chocolate," she guided Maya’s hand again. "And take the other cracker," she held it up so Maya could see. "And smush it together as you pull out the stick."

Maya pulled out the stick, grinning when the marshmallow stayed behind and squished under her wife's fingers.

"We did it?"

"You did it, amore, now try," Carina picked the gooey stack up and held it to Maya’s lips. The firefighter took a small, unsure bite.

"Oh."

"Was that a good 'oh'?" Carina asked, leaning around her to see her properly.

"I thought it was going to be sickly, but the cracker is kind of salty, so it actually works really well," Maya said, taking a more confident bite. "Here," Maya moved her wife's hands back towards her so she could have a bite.

"I know what they taste like, I've been doing this since I was fifteen."

"I don't want the cuddles to end, so we can just share," Maya mumbled, "take a bite."

Carina chuckled and took a bite, cuddling closer to Maya as they ate. "Perfetto."

"Why fifteen?" Maya asked, loading up the stick with the next marshmallow.

"That was the age I was when I first went camping here."

"So you started camping as a child?"

"I've been camping since I was eight. My mamma would take us. She had all of the gear and she'd store it at my Nonna's house. We'd go for a weekend, or stay longer in the school breaks."

"Did your papa ever come?" Maya asked, tangling their fingers.

She felt Carina shake her head.

"Camping was our escape. Our freedom."

"From him?" Maya asked, turning to face her.

"From him. From the chaos of life. From the mess in our house. From the staring neighbours when he would wail and shout. From it all. When we went camping it was just us."

"Just you and your mamma."

"And Andrea."

Maya smiled, "and Andrea, of course."

"It just made everything in our complicated life feel so simple. I always remember my mamma felt like a different person when we went camping. It wasn't until she and Andrea moved that I realised it wasn't camping that created the change. It was the lack of papa. The best memories I have of her are camping." She sandwiched the next marshmallow.

"My mamma would cook. Andrea would complain that he was hungry even though we'd eaten ten minutes before. I would poke sticks into the fire even though she told me not to. We would play for hours whilst Mamma read her book."

"Freedom," Maya said, repeating her wife's earlier words.

Carina's smile softened.

"Yeah."

She looked towards the river.

"When we were there, I didn't have to be anything. I didn't have to be a good student or a good daughter or worry about what was happening at home. I was just..." She shrugged. "A kid."

Maya's chest tightened.

Carina looked at the fire.

"And when they moved here, my mamma still took us when I came to visit. We didn't have much money, ever, and they had even less when they moved, but camping was always cheap. We could pack food, find somewhere beautiful, and disappear for a few days."

Carina's smile turned wistful.

"I think my mamma missed Italy. She never really said it, but I think she did. Camping here, with us, made America feel a little less..." She searched for the word.

"Unfamiliar?"

"Yeah."

Maya reached for her hand.

Carina squeezed it.

"So that's why you love it."

Carina looked at her.

"I think so."

Maya smiled.

"Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're looking at me funny."

"I like knowing things about you."

Carina's expression softened.

"Andrea and I went a few times after she died, but it was never the same. We'd argue and we never argued when we went camping. So I started going alone. Using it to escape the reality of living in a new country and Andrea having the warning signs that my Papa had."

"Why did you stop going?" Maya asked.

"I found my home, bambina, I found you."

"Oh-"

"You gave me an escape. You created the freedom that I'd always felt when we went camping. You were my camping."

"I-"

"Even when things were falling away, I didn't need camping. I knew I still had you."

"You did."

"Of course I did."

"What changed? Why show me now?"

"We've been married for three years. We know each other's homes, our routines, our favourite restaurants, the places we go when we're happy and the places we go when we're sad."

She nudged her knee against Maya's.

"I wanted to give you something that was mine before you."

Maya's expression softened.

"And then make it ours."

Maya looked down at their hands, fingers tangled together. "I don't want to leave," she admitted.

"Neither do I."

"Ask me again if I like camping," she said, turning on the bench to face her wife.

Carina smiled, reaching for her hands, drawing her closer so their knees were touching.

"Bambina?"

"Hmmm."

"You like camping, right?"

Maya smiled, leaned in closer. "Camping?"

"Yeah."

She met their lips. "Yes, Baby, I love it."