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“How does it feel to be rich Huckleberry? Baby’s first full residents pay check I'm so proud.” Trinity gushed, reaching over in the car to squeeze Dennis’ cheek. It was his first pay day where he didn't have to face a $200 fine and other costs. He felt rich. That was until he sent Trinity some money for rent, paid off some of his medical debt and put some aside for groceries. Then he was back to reality.
“If you didn't spend so long mooning over your pay check we wouldn’t be late.” Trinity exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel. Dennis gasped at the fact she was blaming him.
“I think if you remember, someone was having a… what did you call it? An eyebrow crisis.” Dennis replied in a shrill tone.
“Yeah well they weren’t complying. Look more like weird incest cousins than sisters.” She grumbled, running her finger through her eyebrow on instinct.
“Charming.” Dennis replied sarcastically. He stuck his head out of the window, wondering what has them so held up. They were used to a bit of early morning rush hour traffic but nothing this bad. One bonus of their job was they were usually up and out of the house before the usual commuters. But it had never been this bad. They were at a complete standstill on the Rachel Carson Bridge.
“I think I see ambulances.” He announced as his head re-entered the vehicle.
“Well not everyone can bring the reason they’re late to work with them.” Trinity snorted, finding it ironic her work was making her late for work. “Maybe we can abandon the car and take a ride with the ambulance. Save me some gas?” She suggested. Dennis stared at the flashing lights in the distance, his blood cold. Even as a doctor, he hated seeing ambulances or hearing them as they went past their apartment. It meant someones life may hang in the balance, a life he may be responsible for. Dennis thought of it like a sick version of imposter syndrome.
“Do you think someone jumped?” He asked quietly, unable to see past the row of cars. Dennis mind was already trying to remember if the psych holding bays were free when he left last night. Trinity rolled her eyes, not hoping this is where her morning conversation would go. She tries to the hold off on the suicide comments at least until she gets to work.
“What help would the ambulances be up here if someone did?” She replied. Dennis looked at her in horror, her comment devoid of any humanity.
“Trinity!” he gasped, hitting her in the arm causing her coffee to slosh over her. Her eyes narrowed and Dennis considered joining the pour soul over the railings.
“You are very very lucky I am restrained by my seatbelt right now.” She said slowly and coldly. Dennis knew that was true. If this was at home he would’ve subject to a trinity takedown which usually consisted of a nipple twist, a dead arm and his hair being ruffled beyond recognition.
“Text Dana and Robby to let them know we’re late and warn them of the ambulances that will be coming their way.” Trinity ordered. Dennis scrambled to find his phone to obey.
“What if they’re also stuck up in this?” Dennis asked as he began typing the texts.
“Are you kidding me? Robby would have been in work like over an hour a go he would have missed this. Dana lives on the other side of the river. She doesn’t come on the bridge.” Dennis clicked send on the text messages, eagerly awaiting their responses. He hated to be late to thinks and couldn’t deny the thrum of anxiety coursing through him. Not that this was either of their fault, people get stuck behind accidents every day. However the ER was short staffed on a good day and being down two residents was a recipe for a disaster.
“How do you know where Dana lives? Stalker.” Dennis teased as the car moved to a slow crawl. He craned his head to see the accident, hoping to assess what injuries if any face them and to see if the paramedics could use any assistance. Not that they’d be much help without any of the kit the trauma bays are stacked with.
“Because I listen unlike some. Typical man! She always is banging on about that coffee shop she walks to with her husband on her day off. That is on the other side of the river. I looked it up.” Trinity rolled her eyes. Dennis however was not listening as he noticed a familiar looking bike squished against the railing of the bridge, twisted between the metal of the bridge and the front of a car. Huh, Doctor Robby has a bike just like that, he thought. He sent off a quick further text, updating both Dana and Robby of the accident, motorbike vs car, frowning at the lack of response. He pocketed, his phone and leant back against the seat, trying not to focus on the day ahead.
It was well over an hour later when Dennis and Trinity pulled into the staff car park. They had to wait for the ambulances to leave and the vehicles to be moved before the flow of traffic began to make its way into the city. The duo practically ran into the ER, noticing how backed up chairs were already. On their mad rush in, Cassie shoots them a sympathetic look. Dennis first thought was Robby would be mad and they would be flamed out for being so late. There was no way he was getting out here in time. After a mad dash in the staff room they entered the ER floor. The place was silent apart from the beeping of medical equipment, the squeaking of shoes and Dana sniffling. Dennis paused, this was all wrong. Where was the humdrum of the day. The constant voices, the clacking of someone charting at the computers, the squeaking wheels of the various carts pushed around the ER. It was eerie. Maybe the motorbike victim had been and gone and hadn’t made it. To make matters more baffling, Doctor Abbot was still here. It must have been a bad one.
“Doctor Abbot we are so sorry we are late, we got stuck in the traffic from the accident and we got here as soon as we could. Where do you want us? I will go to chairs as punishment.” Dennis rambled, apologising profusely. To his horror, he saw Doctor Abbot’s face drop and soften, as if he was looking at a stray.
“Uh kid, both of you come here a sec.” He said, his voice sounding strain. Dennis thought it must have been a rough night. Both Dennis and Trinity looked at each other quizzically as Doctor Abbot and Dana stood next to them. They must have been in trouble.
“The accident you saw this morning, it um…” Jack started and faltered, his eyes glazing over as they reached the bloodied, messy trauma bay the other side of the floor. Dennis looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed. His hand found Dennis’ shoulder and squeezed it, unsure if that was to comfort himself or to brace the younger doctor.
“It um. It was Robby.” He croaked, his eyes brimming with tears. Trinity’s mouth dropped open in shock. She must have stumbled back as she felt Dana’s arms on her steading her on her feet. Dennis on the other hand felt his legs give way underneath him. Jack had to place both his arms under his armpits to keep him from falling. Dennis’ breath hitched as his mind betraying flashed the crumbled bike. The way it was twisted into the railing as if it had somehow exceeded the laws of science and merged into one solid object.
“Okay kid come on lets sit down.” Jack grunted, placing Dennis into a wheelchair conveniently next to the nurses station. He wheeled him into one of the bays. Dana led a shell shocked looking Trinity into the same bay, closing the door and curtain to give them some privacy. Dennis could not breath. Spots danced in his vision and he thought he might be sick.
“Whitaker, head between your legs.” Jack directed, guiding the boys head down. “Take some deep breaths, atta boy.” He rubbed a hand on his back. He knew Dennis and Robby were close, closer than some would agree is normal but this reaction surprised him.
“He came through here about an hour ago. We stabilised him and he is in surgery. He will be in line for a lot of surgery.” Jack huffed, as if he couldn’t believe it himself.
“He was pinned against the railings. How is he alive?” Trinity voiced, her voice sounding hollow. Dennis was thinking the same. He didn’t want to believe Robby was alive, knowing the odds of surviving surgery. Especially after a horrific accident like this, reeling at the injuries he likely had. His mind was practically screaming at him that Robby was not going to pull through. He didn’t want to give him the false hope.
“He’s in a rough shape.” Dana added. “Broken arm, broken ribs, punctured lung, damage to his spleen and pelvis, broken leg, internal bleeding in the abdomen. He also had a head injury from smacking his head on the railings. Its a miracle he wasn’t thrown over.” She was clinging onto a tissue like it was a lifeline. Dennis shut his eyes as he processed the level of injuries. Robby was in a bad shape. Dennis also knew his boss was actively suicidal. Was this on purpose? Did he intend to get thrown over? Did he weave in and out of traffic intentionally, praying someone would hit him and end it on his behalf? As his mental list got to head injury, a cold chill spread throughout his body.
“He didn’t have his helmet on did he?” He whispered. Jack shook his head and Dennis groaned and grabbed the sick bowl, someone had placed next to him. He dry heaved into the bowl, grateful he skipped breakfast this morning. A sob following, wrecking his body. Dennis felt embarrassed to be reacting like this. Stood next to him was Robby’s two best friends and they were barely shedding a tear. Dennis on the other hand, who had known Robby for the best part of a year, felt his soul tear in two.
Dennis heard Trinity take a shaky breath and stand from the bed.
“Okay um. I will grab Dennis some water and will go get started. Keep me updated.” She said softly. Jack nodded and Dana led her out of the room. Jack stared at Dennis for a while in silence. The younger man was still sat with his head between his legs, sick bowl propped by his mouth, filling with tears that dripped off his cheeks. If Jack could feel anymore wrecked by the situation, this would do it for him. Dennis seemed utterly heartbroken. He wasn’t sure if it was best to tell him the next piece of news but felt the boy should know.
“He wasn’t conscious when he came in.” He started, his voice low and steady. Dennis paused his sobs, his ragged breaths permeating the silence. “The paramedics said he was conscious on the scene and in the ambulance before he realised what had happened, freaked out and passed out. However when they got to the scene, he kept asking for you. Dennis Whitaker, he repeated multiple times. Begging to call you. I just thought you should know.” Dennis world span, completely falling off axis. Why would Robby be asking for him? He knew everyone thought he was Robby’s favourite. Dennis realised he did get certain special treatment from Robby. The touching, the texts and calls outside of work, the promise of going for a drink or having a movie night together. He knows Robby doesn’t do this with anyone else. Dennis knew people call out for their loved ones and their families. Not their employees. If Dennis wasn’t so upset from all of this he would be utterly baffled. For now he’ll push this to the back of mind.
Once his breath had recovered and the urge to vomit passed, Dennis shakily stood.
“Thank you for letting me have this… brief moment of silent reflection.” His words felt heavy, remembering a time before he said the same thing. “Keep me updated please even if its a small update. I am going to pick up a patient.”
“Kid you’re in no state to work, go home.”
“No!” Dennis shouted, shocked by his own outburst. Jack however did not flinch, knowing exactly where Dennis’ head was right now proving his own point. “No. Everyone is understandably a bit shaken up from this and they can work so can i.” He added slowly as if he was convincing himself of this. Jack raised an eyebrow, knowing he was right. Dennis, shoulders sagged.
“Please don't make me leave. I can’t leave this building knowing he’s here, he’s alone and the future is so unsteady for him. Please don't.” Dennis admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. Jack nodded.
“Why do you think I’m here?” He pulled Dennis in for a hug. Jack was glad Robby had this thing with Dennis. He wasn’t sure what it was and what the boundaries were but he was glad Robby had it regardless. He just hoped Robby would pull through to realise it.
“Go to chairs, triage some people. Take breaks. I’ll find you if I hear anything.”
Dennis walking out and going to the trauma room. Seeing the blood, the clothes cut off etc etc. something he is used to seeing but not belonging to his friend.
“Hey kid, chairs is this way with me.” Cassie directs him.
Dennis tries to work. He smiles at patients, asks background questions, he puts a sling on a child’s sprained arm. He was currently stood with Cassie helping deal with an old lady’s head laceration. His mind was focused on a different persons head injury. The blood from this old lady’s was probably nothing compared to what happened to Robby. If he knew it was Robby lying on the bridge he would’ve sprinted to help him? Would that have made a difference? Would that had pushed him further from the line of death than he is now? Not that Dennis and Trinity were miracle workers, but he felt sick at thought he was sat there joking about his payslip with Trinity whilst Robby was fighting for his life merely meters away. It was like a cruel form of survivors guilt was plaguing his mind.
“Doctor Whitaker?” A voice barely registered to Dennis, who could tell he was shaking. “Dennis?” The voice snapped him out of it. Cassie was stood staring at him concerned with her hand out awaiting something. He stared at her blankly.
“Okay, one second Mrs Richards.” Cassie smiled to the patient who was also looking at Dennis confused. Cassie grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him out of the room, placing him to the side of the nurses station where Jack and Dana stood.
“You need to send him home Jack. I’ve just spent five minutes waiting for him to pass me the lac glue, he was completely out of it and shaking.” Cassie said softly but still loud enough for Dennis to hear it. He shut his eyes, the feeling of dread and panic rising that he had messed up at work again. He opened his eyes to Jack approaching him. The older man looked tired. More tired than a usual doctor working a double. If was as if this whole incident had aged him. Dennis hated the fact he had noticed that. He hated that this whole thing had happened but everyone was required to keep going. Somehow the world was still moving and people still required their care.
“Dennis you cant stay here like this. You’re in no state to see patients.” Jack said slowly. Dennis felt his breath catch in his throat.
“No no no no no no Doctor Abbot, Jack please.” Dennis begged, a sob breaking his voice.
“Dennis you’re gonna do more harm than good dealing with patients when you’re not focused. I cant have you moping around the ER either.” Jack said firmly. Dennis shook his head. He knew Jack was correct. He couldn’t focus on other people right now.
“i cant go home and sit by myself right now.” Dennis said truthfully, not meeting Jack’s eyes. Jack nodded and they stood in silence for a moment. Today was fucked and it was barely 9am. Jack walked to the staff room and Dennis followed unprovoked. He fumbled around in his bag until he brought out a set of keys, holding them out to Dennis. He stated at the keys but took them apprehensively.
“Robby’s gonna be here for a while and he will want some home comforts. Drop by his place and get him some clothes, books, his laptop whatever.” Jack instructed. Dennis’ jaw dropped. He was going to Robby’s home. That felt like an intrusion of some sort, seeing part of his bosses mind he should not have access to. Robby had invited him over once before after Dennis said he had never seen a star wars film. Robby proposed a movie night but they never found an evening for it to work. He never thought the first time he would go would be to get him clothes for his hospital stay.
“Please Dennis? I’ll order you an uber to his place?” Jack asked, thinking Denis was still shocked at the suggestion to leave. Dennis nodded, taking a deep breath as he took the keys.
The ride over to Robby’s place was somber. Dennis tried to make a list of things someone would want in hospital on his notes app but his eyes go blurry with tears every time he tries to start it. He steps out of the car onto a street of manicured perfect houses. Each of them clearly owned by someone who can afford to pay others for the upkeep. Dennis thought it seemed cold. He approached the dark brown wooden door, the ring doorbell lighting up to announce his attendance. That was a notification Robby would not see. He picked up Robby’s mail, debating whether this was something he should bring with him to the hospital but deciding no man in any state wants to be faced with his bills. Much to Dennis’ surprise, Robby’s home had character. Clearly he had paid someone a while ago to design this but there were plants, a record collection and books everywhere. It made Dennis’ heart hurt. Everything was so overwhelmingly Robby. He shouldn’t have come here. He finds an empty gym bag in the cupboard by the door and begins to find items to fill it with. Robby clearly didn’t have time to put away his laundry this morning and left a neatly folded pile on the couch. He probably thought he would deal with this later after his shift. Maybe he was running late to work and thats how he ended up in an accident. Robby was reckless. Maybe he undertook a car he shouldn’t have to shave off a few seconds.
He was making his way through the impressive stack of books when his phone rang. Expecting Jack, Dennis answered without even looking at the caller ID.
“Hey do you know what books Robby hasn’t read in his collection” He asked straight away as he pushed another dog eared book back into the masses.
“Um is this Dennis Whitaker?” A female voice asked on the other end of the line. Dennis froze, sitting down on the arm chair next to the bookshelves.
“Hi yes it is, whose calling?” He asked slowly.
“Perfect, my name is Sophie I am one of the intensive care nurses at Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Centre-“
“Oh my god is Robby okay?” Dennis gushed, cutting the nurse off. She let out a slight laugh at the interruption, clearly something she is used to in her role.
“He is just out of his first surgery to stop the internal bleeding and to fix up his spleen and pelvis which went smoothly. We’ve cast his broken arm and leg and he has a chest tube in currently for the punctured lung. Neuro are monitoring the head injury but currently they believe he will have a nasty concussion and a scar. He’s extremely lucky.” Sophie explained. “He’s not out of the woods yet as I am sure you can appreciate but he’s okay. He’s awake and will not stop asking to speak to you. You’re not his emergency contact thats a… Doctor Abbot, who we have notified but we’ve got his phone and he wants to speak to you if thats okay?” Dennis felt the tears run down his cheeks as he leant back into the seat.
“Of course thats okay thank you so much.” He replied, relief flushing through him.
“He’s on a lot of meds and coming down from the anaesthetic so he might be a bit loopy but I’ll pass the phone over now.”
There’s murmuring as the phone is passed over. Dennis thinks he can make out his name but its muffled by the sound of the phone passing hands.
“Hi Baby.” Robby croaks. Dennis is fully crying now, so happy Robby was alive he compartmentalised the fact robby just called him baby out of nowhere.
“Hi Doctor Robby. How are you feeling?” He replied. He hears the other man giggle.
“Sophie how do I make this a face call? I want to see his beautiful face.” Robby asks. Dennis blushes, not only at the fact his boss is calling him beautiful but that this nurse is witnessing the whole thing. He swiftly accepts the call, not one to ignore the wish of a nearly dying man.
“There you are.” Robby gushes as he answers the call. Dennis gives him a short wave as he takes in how Robby looks. He was sat in the hospital bed, a nasal cannula in. He had two deep black eyes which were swollen and a bandage wrapped around his head. He looked pale and almost weak. So different from the commanding, strong, tall man who runs their ER day in and day out. Dennis wished he could end the call now so he didn't have to see this version of the man he admired so much.
“Hey Doctor Robby.” He replies, the feeling of nausea raising in his throat. He could not be sick on the phone with Robby.
“Are you in my house?” He asked, squinting at his phone. Dennis panned the phone over the living room slowly, aware that any fast movements probably won’t help the mans concussion.
“Yes Doctor Abbot sent me here to get you some things. Any requests?” Dennis tried to joke, his eyes not focusing on the man on his phone. Robby smiled. Dennis would think it was a genuine, loving smile if it was under any other context, but paired with the random giggling, he knew it was a result of whatever drugs he was given.
“Just you.” He sang, leaning his head back on the pillow with a gentle sigh. Dennis tried to force a laugh but the more he looked at Robby, the more panicked he felt. He moved the phone off his face when the tears starting to fall again. He didn’t need to give Robby anything more to worry about.
“Hey hey hey Den come back. Are you crying?” Robby instantly picked up on. He raised his head off the pillow, wincing at the strain. Dennis hastily wiped his cheeks and came back on screen.
“I’m okay Robby just… you scared us all a bit thats all.” Dennis lied. He was more than scared. He was down right petrified.
“Oh baby, I’m okay. I am so sorry I scared you.” Robby cooed. “I don’t even look half bad.” Dennis snorted.
“No you look very pretty Robby.” He let a small smile form on his lips. He noticed Robby was staring just off camera, the call lulling into the familiar sounds of hospital machines and cars passing back.
“I scared myself too kid.” Robby rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. “Its coming back to me in bits.” He began and Dennis nodded. “I don’t remember feeling any pain but the roar of the water below and… I was so scared my body would fall in and no one would ever find me. No one would know.” Dennis breath hitched at the confession. Robby wasn’t looking at him now but off to the side, a tear rolling down his own cheek.
“When I woke up in the ambulance, I thought I had… you know… done something stupid.”
“Oh Robby.” Dennis breaths out, his own fears echoing out the other mans mouth.
“But they explained to me I was in an accident and I just remembered the panic that I needed to speak to you in case I never could again.” He continued. “I don’t even remember what I wanted to say. I need to remember that.” Dennis wished he could reach through the phone and calm him down. Run a hand through Robby’s hair and hold him.
“Hey Robby its okay. You’re here now and talking to me and thats all that matters." Dennis tries but the man begins to cry, his chest heaving. Dennis knows you do not want someone fresh out of surgery crying and getting worked up.
“Robby? Hey listen to me?” Dennis tries, but the man is ignoring him. “Michael?” Robby freezes and looks at the screen, a mixture of shock and surprise on his face.
“We both know you need to calm down. You’re okay, you’re safe and loved okay?” Dennis spoke in the same tone he would use with a spooked calf. Robby sniffed and nodded.
“I’m gonna come straight in to see you okay? Let me grab some stuff and call a cab. Any requests for stuff to bring?” Dennis asks, trying to get Robby to engage and out of that scary headspace.
“My spare glasses. They’re in my bedside drawer.” Dennis nodded but before he ended the call the phone was passed back to the nurse, no longer on a FaceTime call.
“Uh Mr Whitaker can I ask something?” Sophie said cautiously as she took over the phone call. Dennis hummed, prompting her to continue. “Do you also work in the ER downstairs? I recognise the name thats all?” She asked.
“Uh yeah i think we’ve ran into each other a few times. You have black plaits usually right?” He asks, realising he recognised the voice. Trinity has spent many evenings wondering if Sophie was single and liked women. He always thought she was nice so he was glad she was caring for Robby.
“Yeah thats me. Are you and Doctor Robby-“
“Friends yeah we’re good friends and my boss I guess.” Dennis awkwardly. There was a slight pause.
“Oh okay sorry to press. You can come see him whenever you want. I think he will like that.” She replied warmly. Dennis smiled before ending the call.
The room engulfed in silence. Robby was okay. He had pulled through at least the first of many surgeries and that gave Dennis some hope. He sat in the armchair, basking in the warmth of hearing his voice again. He reflected over the contents of the call, confused at why Robby had been so affectionate with them. Dennis blushed as he remembered how Robby called him baby and beautiful. He told himself that was just the drugs. Then he remembered he still needed to pack and get back to the hospital and by the sound of Robby’s sobbing, he needed to do so quickly. Dennis ran around the house, trying not to dwell on the decor and pry into Robbys life but to grab the essentials. He packed clothes that seemed well worn and comfortable, books that sat on his bedside table, his laptop and headphones. He grabbed chargers and the all important glasses. As he reached the front door, his eyes focused on a shelf of photo frames. Dennis eyed the face of a younger Robby, his hair floppy longer than it is now, absent of his grey streaks. He smiled as he noticed Robby’s two front teeth seemed longer and bunny like, similar to his own. He seemed happy as he had his arm wrapped around a much younger Jack. Dennis swiped it and another frame, thinking Robby may want some nice memories right now.
Dennis rushed up to the intensive care unit, flashing his badge at the people on the desk so they didn’t question why he was running the halls.
“Hey kid.” Jack said, stopped Dennis in his tracks as he stepped out of a room. Dennis realised how sad he looked. Jack’s eyes were red rimmed and his under eyes dark and puffy.
“How is he?” Dennis asked, fearing the worse. Surely nothing had happened in the half an hour it took Dennis to grab Robby’s stuff and take a bus over here. Surely that conversation wasn’t the last one he would ever have.
“He’s okay.” Jack replied quickly, recognising the panic on Dennis’ face. Dennis’ shoulders dropped in relief. “He seemed quite distressed when I got here and very upset. They gave him a nice IV cocktail to calm him down so he’s sleeping right now.” Jack explained, rubbing his neck like he had an ache he couldn’t shake. Dennis knew why he was distressed, remembering how upset he got on the call. He didn’t want to share the call with Jack, that somehow felt wrong to Dennis. Like he was sharing something so intimate with someone who was not involved.
“He’s due to have more surgery tomorrow on his leg to insert some pins. They sorted his spleen, pelvis and the abdomen bleed. Plus he has a cast on his arm. All the details are in his chart if you want to know the specifics. I spoke to the surgery team and they seem confident he will be back working in a few months after some intense physical therapy. Should be no long term issues.” Jack explained. Dennis nodded, taking it all in. He was able to breath a bit better knowing Robby wasn’t quite as near to the edge as expected.
“I will let you have some time with him. Santo’s wants to see you after. She said she’s gonna come up after her shift with some of the others.” Jack added, walking away as if he was going to leave. He paused and Dennis watched cautiously before spinning on his heel and walking back.
“Dennis… I know this really isn’t my place to ask.” Jack started, his voice faltering. Dennis sucked in a deep breath, knowing where this was going. “Robby was asking for you a lot when I got there. Are you two together?” He asked slowly. Dennis could see a glint of hope in his eyes, as if this would give Robby a reason to want to get better.
“Uh no. We are I guess close friends.” Dennis replied awkwardly. He saw that hope fade from Jack’s eyes. The older man nodded, patted Dennis on the shoulder and left.
Dennis slid shut the door, feeling the outside world go quiet. All he could hear was the steady breaths of Robby and the beeping of the machine. He quietly slipped the bag off his shoulder, unzipped it and got out Robby’s glasses placing them on the bedside table. He also found the picture of him and Jack from many years ago and one of someone Dennis assumed was his grandmother. It seemed like the sort of thing you brought someone in hospital. Dennis flicked through Robby’s chart, reading the surgery summary and his overall recovery plan. He frowned as he realised the true extent of Robby’s injuries. Robby was lucky to be here. He sat down in the chair pulled up against the bed with a sigh. Robby looked so peaceful, no stress evident on his face as he slept. Dennis with shaking hands reached forward and held his hand, his thumb stroking the rougher skin. Dennis eyes burned with tears as he felt the anger hit him. He knew it wasn’t Robby’s fault he was in the accident but Dennis felt so mad at him.
“Oh Robby.” He sighed. “Why didn’t you have your stupid helmet on? You know as well as me all the risks of riding without a helmet. Why do you think we all motorcycles donor cycles?” Dennis said, trying to control the way his voice wavered. Robby was clearly under enough drugs to not react, his eye lids not even fluttering when Dennis spoke. Dennis wasn’t even sure Robby could hear him be he felt the need to speak anyway.
“What if it happened on a different day? If it was raining, snowing? What if the bridge didn’t have a rail huh? You wouldn’t be here Robby.” He asked, his voice raising slightly. He didn’t realised he had began to squeeze Robby’s hand slightly, almost subconsciously urging the man to respond. “What if you were on sabbatical and none of us knew you were in an accident? We couldn’t save you.” Dennis added. He stood up, leaning over the bed. He stroked Robbys hair, feeling the soft tendrils under his fingertips. God he wanted to slap and kiss this man.
“Were you driving recklessly? I’ve seen you weave in and out of traffic Robby. I know you’re an inpatient man. What if there were kids on that pathway? Or you had a family waiting on you? Fuck.” He ranted, feeling his chest heave. Dennis was crying now.
“Did you do this on purpose?” He asked so quiet, he barely heard it himself. That was his biggest fear. That Robby was stupid enough to get himself in a car accident. Robby also echoed that same fear on the call and it wrecked Dennis.
“I’m sorry. I am so glad you’re alive Robby. I know this wasn’t your fault. I’m just so scared and…” Dennis sighed. “I really like you Robby. I have since my first day. The way you took control with Pittfest and then the moment in pedes. I know you probably don’t want to discuss that but it made you so human. I need you to get better Robby so I can tell you how much I want you. Life is so short. I mean fuck Robby how did it take a near fatal accident for me to tell you how much I love you?” Dennis exclaimed, his confession hanging stagnant in the air. Robby still didn’t react, still under his drug induced slumber. Dennis sat back down and took Robby’s hand again, feeling the warmth in his.
“Please don’t leave once you’re better. Stay with me. Stay for me Robby.” Was all he added in silence.
“Look what the cat dragged in.” Jack laughed as he wheeled Robby into the ER. It had been three weeks since Robby’s accident, a week since he was released following his remaining surgeries. Robby was coming to the hospital for the first of many doctors appointments and as Jack was being such a good friend, he had taken the time off to wheel Robby about, much to Robby’s embarrassment. He hated being reliant on people, especially when it was taking Jack away from work and his own life. Jack was basically his live in carer until these casts were off. This was one way to strengthen their brother like friendship. Various ER staff cheered and crowded Robby, wishing him well and a few signing his casts.
Dennis hung back, not knowing how to approach Robby. He hadn’t spoken to him since that day he ranted at him in his hospital bed. He had visited a few times in the two weeks Robby spent in the hospital. It was mostly at the end of his shifts when Robby was asleep or too drugged up to remember his visits. If he thought he was too lucid, Dennis was too scared to enter the room. Dennis was scared to see how he really was. Was he as broken as he was on that call? Did he hear any of Dennis’ rant? Or worse yet, did he hear any of his confession? He desperately wanted to ask him why he asked for him in the ambulance, why was he the first call out of surgery? Dennis, however was too afraid of the answer and what that might bring. He knew his own feelings for Robby and he knew the utter heartache he experience that day only confirmed them for him.
“Doctor Robby, its glad to see you not in a hospital bed.” A female voice said from the back of the crowd. Dennis instantly recognised it to be the ICU nurse who looked after Robby his entire stay, Sophie. She had just been called down to transfer a patient a short while ago, coinciding perfectly with Robby’s visit.
“Sophie, its nice to you see you not covered in PPE.” Robby replied warmly. “Hope I wasn’t too much of a pain for you” Sophie snorted as she patted Robby on the shoulder.
“They do say Doctors make the worse patients.” She laughed. “You were a nightmare unless Doctor Whitaker was there.” She said, pointing to Dennis who turned a deep red. Robby also flushed red all the way to his ears as he looked at Dennis. It was almost as if the sea of staff had parted so they were facing directly to each other. Dennis ignored the way Princess’ eyebrows raised as she looked at him.
“Honestly all the time where’s Whitaker, where’s Whitaker? The second Doctor Whitaker came up I could get some charting done.” Sophie continued, laughing as if this wasn’t some sort of revelation. Dennis forced a smile, as everyone looked at him.
“I must have had some really memorable bed side manner. Guess thats why my patient satisfaction scores are good.” Dennis attempted at a poor joke. He refused to look over at Robby, his eyes settling on Jack instead who looked as if he knew the true reason for all of this.
Once the crowd dispersed, Robby asked Jack to wheel him over to Dennis, leaving the two of them alone.
“I uh don’t remember you visiting.” Robby saw awkwardly as he looked up at Dennis who refused to meet his eye.
“You were mostly asleep as it was after my shifts.” Dennis replied with a forced laugh. “Or off your face.” Robby smiled at the younger man. With his good arm, he reached forward and took Dennis’ hand in his. Dennis’ eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he scanned the floor for any onlookers.
“Thank you Dennis. Truly.” Robby started. “Jack told me how upset you were by all of this and I am so sorry to scare you. I really scared myself.” He continued with a weak laugh. Dennis recognised the way Robby’s words echoed from their call. He also noticed how Robby’s eyes were misting over, a look Dennis had grown used to in the past few weeks.
“I uh, this made me realise a lot of things. Sorta like a wake up call I guess. I am not going on my sabbatical clearly and I won’t be stepping foot in this ER for a few months whilst I recover. I want to see you though.” Dennis dared to make eye contact with Robby now at this statement.
“I can’t really take you out anywhere in this state or really woo you. And I get you might not want a fifty something year old man with one working leg, one working arm, a broken brain and some nasty surgical scars all over his body-” Dennis went to interrupt to tell Robby none of that mattered to him but Robby shushed him.
“But I am in the process of fixing me. All of me, physically and mentally. I can’t go another day without wishing you were with me through this. I know a relationship should start with two healthy individuals but I really like you Dennis and another day without you might kill me.” He admitted. Dennis’ jaw swung open, he cannot believe Robby has just announced he liked Dennis in the middle of the ER.
“Robby.” Dennis said softly and Robby closed his eyes, his face crumbling. He squeezed Dennis’ hand but let it drop.
“No its okay Den. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Robby replied, his voice rough with emotion. He turned to beckon Jack over, but Dennis waved him away.
“Michael.” Dennis said, more sternly this time, causing Robby to blink with surprise. He slowly raised his head to look up at Dennis, who took his hand back in his.
“We did have all those films to watch together. A movie date sounds lovely and romantic.” Dennis suggested, hoping this casual response was enough to confirm his feelings back to Robby. Robby for the first time in a while smiled a wide genuine smile.
“Yeah okay I will let Jack have a break for a few hours. Friday?” He asked elated. Dennis smiled back and squeezed Robby’s hand.
“Friday it is.”