Chapter Text
A Village, born from the dead and heart.
A village that a mother could never allow her child to grow up in.
This child that was forced upon her, this parasite that had appeared in her womb without the help of a man.
How could this be possible?
Why would the Spawn do this?
Why would the Spawn take away the woman she loved then curse her with the responsibility of bearing a child she didn’t want?
“It’s a virgin birth!”
“It’s a miracle!”
“It’s a gift from Spawn themselves!”
“Bless this child!”
“Praise the Spawn!”
A child born through a miracle was brought back to the Spawn village after being found in one of the city hospitals, the mother of the child was found deceased or simply executed for her blasphemous acts of stealing the child that belonged to the Spawn itself.
This child, a vessel that was brought to the community as a reward for all they sacrificed and gave up for their lord. This child was an acknowledgment of everything they did. They were given to one of the trainee higher ups, a young lady that went by the name of “Amarah”, to raise another and guide them to follow the path of the Spawn. This was the final trial after sacrificing the one dearest to her. Amarah was 21 when this child was given to her and she had grown way more attached to the tiny being than she expected herself to.
Amarah named the kid herself during a ceremony where a priest dunked the baby in a bath of holy water blessed by the Spawn itself so the child could be pure and have a protection barrier from demons that might try to taint it. Two Time wasn’t allowed to eat what other kids ate, their body was seen as something to protect and keep healthy. They always felt insanely jealous seeing another child eat something they weren’t supposed to have.
Amarah had always told them it’s because they were special and had a more fragile body. They believed her until they grew more aware of the fact they had followed what others wanted for them instead of going for what they wanted for themselves.
Two Time despised the way others would look at them when they would show the tiniest amount of discomfort. They were always expected to be more than they were, the savior of the Spawn village, and even a guide for the souls that needed to be taken to the afterlife. Two Time, the Spawn’s vessel, the one who was deemed to be the purest of them all just because of a spiked tail. They felt like a souvenir that others kept in a tight glass display case, where they couldn’t make any free movement without eyes on them at all times. They weren’t in control of their own life, their own body, or their own future. They were deemed to be perfect for everyone and that’s all they were allowed to be.
The Spawn was something they couldn’t help but feel doubt towards, even if this God was supposed to be the one who made them. Why couldn’t they feel the same unquestioning faith like others? Why did they feel the need to question every single thing in the book written by the Spawn itself? It wasn’t good to have doubt. It meant that you had the possibility of burning for eternity with no way to repent for your sinful behavior.
Two Time had given up a long time ago trying to be someone they weren’t allowed to be. They found it exhausting to constantly fight back against the crown that was placed upon their head since they were born, the crown selling off their freedom into the hands of others. It seemed no one could see the discomfort in their body language during ceremonies and sacrifices of blood being rubbed onto their body or the hints that they were unhappy with how much pressure was put onto them currently was. Nobody was going to try and see the Two Time that wasn’t the “Savior” nor the “Guide”.
Until Azure came along.
Oh, sweet Azure.
Two Time could never forget the day the two met in the forest.
They had been collecting firewood for the community since Amarah wanted them to be more independent on doing things on their own and ended up being so startled by the sight of Azure coming out of nowhere, since he looked like a beast of some kind with all those heavy layers and the tall witch hat covering almost his whole head, every single log fell to the ground and he helped them carry it all back to the village. From that moment on, the two were inseparable and became best friends. It was no secret to the village since they clung to one another when they were able to.
Azure, the one who never saw them as something to possess or doll up, the one who never dared to make them do something they didn’t want to do, the one who tried to understand how they really worked beneath the illusion of that “Perfect” image. Two Time couldn’t help but feel something more for him down the road, something that would disgust the entire Spawn family and even them. Spawn would scourge them for eternity if they ever spoke up about how they felt.. they felt for azure the way a woman and man should feel for each-other. They couldn’t dare show public affection or anything more than what a friend should do. It repulsed them, it made them sob at night over how sinful they felt.
I've gotten used to my genetic tendency,
the light has been shut out
Still, they would always turn to Azure when they needed someone to talk to, Azure was there for everything it seemed like. He wouldn’t yell like the elders and higher ups, he wouldn’t get mad at them for their withering faith, he wouldn’t be confused on why Two Time felt more like an object than a person. He was there when Two Time wanted to disappear more than ever and screamed till their voice was gone.
Two Time would never suspect Azure would feel the same way but once he started describing them with words such as “Beautiful”, “Sweet”, and “Kind” in the letters he sent them.. Two Time couldn’t help but wonder who he thought he was talking to? they were nothing like that. Their true self was nothing close to Sweet. As time went on, they began to dread each letter being sent. They wanted to scream, cry, or even break the things around them. They were foolish to think Azure could ever love them and not the facade. He always said they could never do anything wrong, that he would forgive them no matter what. They wanted Azure to give up on them, hate them, despise them, anything.
Even on the day they kept a deer corpse, just for the sake of watching the stages of decay, death, and resurrection. He looked disgusted at first, probably because of the smell. But ended up giving them a hug. Azure reassured them like what they did wasn’t that serious, like they were something to be protected.
They hated it.
Azure had come to them so many times during Church service just to be “blessed” by them. He truly believed their words were something so powerful that it could shield him from sin.
Two Time hated being coddled all the time, nonstop, since they were born. They despised being seen as something to keep like they were a rare trinket. They could kill a bird and Azure would still look at them with that irritating expression of devotion.
That’s why they were staring blankly at Azure holding a bouquet right in-front of their eyes.
“Will you be my partner, Two Time?”
He was asking to be theirs, asking them to be his. Asking them if he had permission to own them. One part of Two Time felt love, that disgusting love.. while another felt hatred and the third felt distrust. How could it be like this? Azure was looking at them with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes, feeling hope and a large amount of fear of rejection.
They smiled but it didn’t reach their eyes.
“Sure, Azure.” ,the words felt bitter on their tongue, they were deceiving themself and him. For all these years he made them feel like he saw them for who they were, not the doll. Two Time couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty for it, they had kept the facade up around Azure a few times. Maybe he loved the perfect one that didn’t cry, that didn’t yell, that wasn’t upset at all ever.
“….That’s what you want to hear, right?”, despite how cruel they were going to be, Two Time had a pitiful smile on their face. Azure looked confused like he didn’t realize what he did wrong.
“What?”
Azure responded, that was all he had to say currently.
“You want me to say I accept your confession. But I wouldn’t mean it if I did and you don’t mean this.” They knew Azure didn’t love them. It was idealization or he simply fell in love with the Perfect Two Time. “Even if I really said I loved you back… you would just end up being disappointed with who I really am.” Two Time held back the tremor in their voice, they felt themselves wanting to cry. They tightly gripped their own arm through the sweater they were wearing. Why couldn’t they just believe Azure? why couldn’t they be happy whenever he gifted them something?
“….I hated this about you.” Azure’s eyes were narrowed in Two Time's direction, holding an intense stare that was indeed uncomfortable. It was unusual for him to lose his cool so quickly with how he kept his composure most days, “I hate how you see yourself to be so unlovable that you think I am just like the rest!” His voice was much higher volume than usual with the newfound atmosphere in the room, barely muffled by the scarf surrounding his neck that tended to tickle around the corner of his lips. “Can’t you see that you’re my entire life?”
Hearing Azure’s words only made all of this hurt worse.
Maybe it was true that Azure loved the real them, maybe it wasn’t. They hated themselves for fighting with Azure on this so much, the fact that they couldn’t just let him love them when they felt the same way. Two Time felt the Spawn’s eyes on them as they admitted their love for their best friend to themself.
Nothing was ever enough to make Azure truly hate them or back off. They had argued with him on purpose once, trying to make him face the truth of who he claimed to like. But he just forgave them in the end and held them until dorm curfew. Two Time had even told him they hated him, right to his face, and he was still making the decision to work things out with them and figure out what he did wrong. Azure always spoke of them as if they were some higher being, not like the rest of the village did, he said it in a more romantic manner. Azure didn’t even worship the Spawn like he did Two Time.
“Don’t…Don’t say things like that as if I am your God.” Two Time stammered out the words while feeling a strange sense of something more than love. “I am not some perfect thing!”
Azure grabbed Two Time’s shoulders, trying to desperately convince them. “I could and would never see you in the way others do.. I see you as someone better, someone who is flawed but still manages to be good in every way. They could never understand you in the way I do!”
Two Time could see the devotion in Azure’s eyes, that same look from the day they kept that deer’s body. It ignited fear, anger, and adoration into their body. The fact Azure has seen them do such horrific things yet still claims he loves the true them. They had never been looked at in the way Azure looks at them, it makes them feel oddly special even if they dread it.
Could this truly be love? Why do they fear it so much? Azure could read their fears and that terrified them, it terrified them to acknowledge how much he really knew about them and all the parts they tried to hide from everyone around them.
Devotion is a dangerous thing.
With devotion, you wouldn’t hesitate to spill blood over the one you worship whether it was yours or someone else’s, you would sacrifice for them, you would do anything for them.
That night, the rejection earlier hung heavy over both of them, but they still embraced one another. Azure held onto them like he was afraid they would disappear if he loosened his grip just a fraction.
ঞ
Two Time and Azure were currently in the nightshade field. Something Azure made strictly for the two of them, where they both could taste a hint of freedom they’ll never truly get to experience. Azure held Two Time’s limp arm and kissed it, worshipping them like they were a porcelain doll that would shatter at the tiniest bit of wrong contact.
Azure was praising them and complimenting them in his own oblivious way.
“You are the most angelic person I’ve seen.”
Two Time wonders who he saw underneath him, they weren’t angelic at all but decided they were too exhausted to fight him on this. They were Azure’s own personal God. They let Azure caress them and treat them gentler than anyone else ever cared to do.
Two Time was truly so fragile in Azure’s arms.
He could crush them immediately.
Azure adored Two Time so much, he owed them his life. They were two flawed beings that the world always expected more out of but they could always find solace in one another. The peace they couldn’t find in anyone or anything else but the other’s heart.
Still, even after this, Two Time would claim that they had no romantic love for Azure. Even after the surprised kisses in secret that were forgotten in the morning.
He wouldn’t dare force Two Time to date him but how could they say they felt nothing for him when they clearly did?
It was almost like a cruel joke.
The same lord that blessed him with this angel has forbidden the two of them from ever sharing a relationship like man and woman do
He wanted to show Two Time the city, the beautiful scenery of Robloxia.
Azure always told them stories he remembered from when he was living there.
There were days where the two were great, they hadn’t felt anything wrong.
Then there were days when they felt off, where they couldn’t look each other in the eye.
Azure also remembered the time he and Two Time got caught being way too close in one of the church halls.
They were scolded for so long that night and Azure saw the way Two Time trembled in disgust targeted towards themselves.
Two Time simply said that night never happened, that Azure was making stuff up as he always did.
Azure knew what was true and what wasn’t.
The Devil would torture him for all eternity because of his sinful undying love for Two Time, but for them he would become a sinner.
Is it really a sin to love the angel that saved you? The others who claim to devote themselves to Two Time would never come close to Azure’s true love for them. They could never understand the Two Time underneath the surface.
If Two Time was alcohol, he would consider being an alcoholic.
ঞ
“You were never going to be anything.”
“You piece of shit child.”
“You have her face.”
“Why can’t you be smart for once?”
Azure always bottled up his emotions. He had to be the top of his class no matter the way he felt, he had to stand straight and put on a smile. It was better to keep the ugly parts of yourself hidden than to blatantly tell everyone how much you truly despised them. Sometimes he couldn’t help it and ended up hurting others just like his father hurt him.
He remembered the way his father stood over a dead animal with a shotgun in the other hand.
His father had been ranting about how much of a bitch his mother was for the past hour while doing so.
Azure was amazing when it came to science and flower study. He liked flowers more than he liked humans, they didn’t have any complaints and simply lived peacefully. Each flower had a different meaning, different purpose, and different look.
He had a taste of the world outside the community. He remembered how school days went and how he would always be unworthy in the eyes of his father no matter how many tests he aced and no matter how good his grades were. Even if something wasn’t his fault, his father would find a reason to restrict a meal from him or put his hands on his own son. It was always his responsibility. Maybe Azure looked too much like his mother or had too many of her ways. His father despised his mother for walking out on them, mainly because of his father’s drinking issue. Azure grew to hate the smell and taste, he hated alcoholics. He hated his father with every bone in his body but there was still a small part of him that wished the version of his dad that loved him dearly could still be inside the monster he knew now.
One afternoon, Azure ran until his lungs burned. He ran away from the hell hole he was forced to call home and never felt more free in his life. He was no longer some dog that was kept in a cage with no way to breathe because of the too tight collar around its neck.
He couldn’t recall how far he ran, he only remembered running until he bumped into someone smaller than him.
It was like looking at an angel personified!
Azure stood there just staring at the other child for a moment until he noticed the wooden logs the person dropped during the impact. He helped them up and assisted in carrying the logs back to wherever they came from. Azure didn’t know himself what pulled him to the other, but he couldn’t separate from them.
Along the way, he figured out the other child’s name was Two Time.
“Nice to meet you, Two Time.”
Meeting the rest of the village was an odd experience for him, they were suspicious at first but welcomed him like he was one of their own. Azure was given food, new clothes, and a caretaker that was in charge of him. This place was more of a home then his last one, and he found himself not wanting to leave. At least not for a long time.
The members never screamed at him, they never demanded more of him, they only cherished him.
Azure was often praised and told that he was a very smart student once enrolled in the Spawn Community’s School. He was always seen as someone who others could rely on and he pushed to keep that reputation. He couldn’t let them see the bad parts of him, he couldn’t let them see how much he truly despised this world, and how hard it was to not yell at someone if they did the tiniest thing to make him angry.
People liked simplicity, he learned that his whole life.
So he’ll be simple to deal with.
After growing up in the village for a bit, he figured out that his feelings were just the work of something sinister. The demons that crawled in hell that somehow managed to reach the people that still breathed and walked on land.
Anger was a sin.
It was taught by one of the teachers in the School and by one of the Priests. Negative emotions were the work of the Devil since it thrived off of Humans suffering and sins. Once Demons got into the head of a mortal, it made them do irrational things and act in the name of Lucifer. Had his father simply been possessed by a demon?
That made Azure fall deeper into faith. He didn’t want to be seen as a threat his whole life so he sacrificed his blood for the Spawn once influenced to do so. He used a dagger that was given to him as a holy relic and opened his wrists up for a God he couldn’t see but knew could protect him from himself.
That night, he felt saved and free from the burdens of his life and self loathing.
Azure always felt devoted to Two Time for saving him and even more devoted after finding out they were something sent from the Spawn itself. The Spawn sent one of its children to find him; that day he ran into the forest and guided him to a loving family.
During a fit of rage from the aftermath of one of the elders misunderstanding his words and scolding him, he bludgeoned a squirrel to death with his fist. He hadn’t meant to but it just happened. Was this how his father felt every time he hit his own kid?
He stared down at the squirrel on the concrete, its blood no longer gushing and instead now in the process of drying. Azure felt tears trickling down his cheeks but he couldn’t bring himself to feel as guilty as he should be. He just felt empty.
Two Time was not too far from him, in fact, they were oddly close. They were staring right at him before speaking, “Did you want to?” Did he want to kill the squirrel? No.
“…” Azure stayed silent for seconds more before finally responding with a dead tone. “I hadn’t meant to. A devil did it.” He actually didn’t know if it was the actions of Satan’s disciples or just his own.
“You aren’t perfect.” Two Time said it to him so bluntly that he flinched a bit. Did they hate him? That thought left a sickening feeling in his belly. Does Two Time think of him differently now? Because of something he couldn’t control? Maybe he was being a hypocrite right now. He hated his own father for something he couldn’t control himself. Two Time had a smile on their face, a smile so sweet it was absurd for the situation right now. “But I’m not perfect either, that’s why we should never part. I know what it feels like.”
They grabbed his hand gently, as if he was something sacred. “We are the same with our problems.” They didn’t see him as a monster, they still saw him as the Azure they always knew.
Even if half the Spawn village would never see this side of Azure, Two Time always will try to get it out of Azure. They often challenged him just to see the parts of him he hid from everyone else.
Azure had soon grown to be one of the Spawn Community’s doctors and lead botanist. He knew how to turn flowers into medicine to patch and heal the wounded, he knew what flowers and herbs to use in tea to soothe one’s mind, and he had his own garden. The greenhouse was one of the greatest gifts given to him, it had been run down for a while but with his own determination it grew into something beautiful again.
He was praised for it.
Even by Two Time.
What he felt for Two Time wasn’t just love, it was something greater. He felt stronger for them than he did for the Spawn. Azure did have incidents where he lashed out sometimes but Two Time stuck by him anyway. He relied on them just as they relied on him, they were destined to meet in his eyes. Both of them fit perfectly together. Two Time never looked at him with disgust in their eyes but instead something knowing. Like they saw right through him, like they were the same, just different bodies. Azure knew the Community would never approve of his love for Two Time but he would do it all for them no matter the cost. He sent letters, gifts, offerings, and even his own blood as proof of his undying loyalty to the angel that saved him that day in the forest.
Two Time had sometimes come to Azure’s aid way too many times a week, he had suspected they were getting themselves sick on purpose just to see him. It worried him but the devotion he felt for them overtook that nervousness and replaced it with love.
After one day full of built up stress and anger, Azure had an outburst right in front of Two Time after they told him to let it out even if he was reluctant to. He wasn’t used to letting his true feelings show but he just couldn’t hold it back this time. He smashed a potted plant while ranting, unable to control his own actions at the moment because of how much frustration and anxiety had been slowly building up inside his body.
Two Time said something that completely snapped him out of it.
“Take your anger out on me.”
Azure stared at them in disbelief and confusion. Did they really think of him to be such a person? To be so angry that he would hurt the one he promised to cherish? It made him even more frustrated. A small smile devoid of any amusement crept up onto his face, “Just who do you think I am?”
The absurdity of the statement made him want to burst into tears. Why did no one understand that he didn’t want to hurt anybody around him? He couldn’t control his emotions. That’s what he hated most about himself.
“The thought of laying a finger on you makes me sick. Why would you…” He wanted to scream at them, did they really not understand him the same way he understood them? Did they truly love who he was? He would never hurt another like his father did to him.
“I want you to say to me what you can’t say to the ones who hurt you. I want to take what you can’t take, I don’t want you to bottle up what you feel.” Two Time explained with a calm expression, like this was just a simple conversation people have everyday.
Azure couldn’t take it.
“Do you think I am so weak that I can’t handle this on my own?”He didn’t want to be seen as weak, as someone who couldn’t handle his own problems. He got over them every single time he did. No matter how many bruises he left on himself or how many times he would hit his head on things.
He picked himself off the tiles in a bathroom stall during school once after breaking down over his father being too drunk to buy him a new uniform that actually fit.
He was there making himself breakfast when his father was too tired to.
He cleaned the house himself when his father couldn’t.
He did everything to prove he wasn’t weak.
But he will always be seen as someone who needs a little extra help.
Azure started to yell at Two Time without meaning to and they just let him, reacting like the ones that hurt him which just provoked him further. To Two Time, this was a way to make Azure see that he isn’t the perfect image the community enforces onto him. They loved the imperfect side of Azure, it felt more real than anything they ever imagined. Two Time adored how long he could bottle up his feelings and found them "beautiful" when they came into light.
I pray that I can become stronger by myself
A melody that cries from the words
Will I be able to live from tomorrow
“I’m serious, come on, I can’t feel anything. Hit me!” Two Time said it to him, desperate. Azure couldn’t stand their words anymore and ended up slapping them, he couldn’t help but see them as the elder that was the main cause for his breakdown.
Maybe it felt okay in the moment to finally hurt something that wasn’t himself.
But then came the guilt and disgust.
He saw the mark appearing on Two Time’s cheek and wanted to run away, he started apologizing profusely while crying hysterically. Azure held onto Two Time tightly. Two Time didn’t fight back, they just embraced him. This was what they wanted. They wanted to absorb Azure’s pain for him even if he didn’t want to.
Azure had started to finally vent, cry, apologize, and talk about how much he hated his father and how he didn’t want to be like him.
Two Time comforted and reassured him through it all.
I realize that I can't change
I laugh at these meaningless days
Azure couldn’t help but feel like a splitting image of his father after hitting Two Time like that.
He thought after all these blessings, sacrifices, and teachings that he would finally be free from the devil.
He just wanted to be free.
He didn’t want to die a sinner.
Had Two Time encouraged him to sin on purpose? He didn’t want to believe such a thing. He truly wanted to believe they were helping him.
But this was awful.
It was sickening.
Why would Two Time want to be hurt by him? Did they love him too much to see him take it out on himself?
He didn’t know what to believe. But the touch of his savior felt soothing and bittersweet.