Work Text:
YOU - Your eyes flicker open slowly.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Those lights are so bright it feels like they're stabbing your eyes. Close them before it gets worse.
YOU - Where am I?
PERCEPTION (TOUCH)- There's what feels like a blanket under your hands. The air is cool around you. Not much air flow.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Your eyes have adjusted to the light by now. The room is mostly monochrome - white. Sterile, like a hospital.
YOU - ...is this a hospital?
PERCEPTION - There's tubes coming out of your body.
YOU - Probably a hospital. But what happened to me?
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Eye movement detected," it says. "What's two plus two?"
REACTION SPEED - Who is that!?!
LOGIC - Two. Easy.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Responding is not going to work. Your everything hurts, which includes your throat.
PERCEPTION - Which also has a tube down it.
YOU - Okay, I thought this was a hospital but I don't think those usually have computers that ask you basic math questions.
LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - In general, no.
YOU - Suddenly, you're kind of sleepy. Your eyes close almost automatically...
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Eye movement detected. What's two plus two?"
PERCEPTION - Still in the same place. Some of the tubes are removed, like the one in your throat, but most remain. Now that you're looking again, you notice a lot of little electrodes stuck all over your skin.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Electrodes are often used for medical tests such as electrocardiograms (ECG/EKGs) or echocardiograms. They can also be used to stimulate muscle activity, often in physical therapy.
YOU - ...why do I know that? Nevermind. Can I talk now?
PAIN THRESHOLD - Probably. Your body still feels fuzzy but you manage to clear your throat without too much pain.
YOU - You steel yourself. "Hello?" You try.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Incorrect. What is two plus two?"
YOU - "Is anyone here? Hello?" You're getting more desperate.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Incorrect. What is two plus two?"
YOU- "Two to the "
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Incorrect."
SCIENCE TEACHER - Not a very smart computer, then. You were correct.
YOU - That doesn't seem to matter because in short order, you're unconscious again.
YOU - That's definitely drugs.
FOXHUNT - You need to get out of here. Whatever's happening it isn't good.
HEDONIST - Or you could just keep napping. This bed is pretty comfortable.
LOGIC [Easy: Success]- You're probably in a hospital. Running won't do you much good. The sheer number of tubes you're connected to makes it seem like whatever you're here for, it's not good.
YOU - Yeah, what am I here for?
LOGIC - ...
YOU - Oh frick. I don't remember. I don't remember *anything*.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Retrograde amnesia can be caused by a variety of things : traumatic brain injuries, encephalitis, or psychogenic factors, to name a few.
YOU - Oh, this is not good. This is really bad.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Movement detected. What's two plus two?"
YOU - You sigh. "Four."
COMPUTERIZED VOICE - "Correct."
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - OH MY JEEZ WHAT ARE THOSE-
ROBOT ARMS OF DOOM - A set of robotic arms approach you. Before you have time to process this, they're already in motion, removing tubes and IVs from your body.
PAIN THRESHOLD - It is not a comfortable experience.
ROBOT ARMS OF DOOM - They retract once most of the more... invasive medical equipment is removed. There's still an IV, a urinary catheter (no location specifics needed), and some equipment attached to your upper arm and finger.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Pulse oximeter, heart monitor and blood pressure cuff from the looks of it.
FOXHUNT - Again, something's wrong here. Why hasn't anyone come to check up on you? What's the deal with the terrifying robot arms and the computer voice? You need to get up and find out before something bad happens.
1.) Try to go back to sleep. Maybe things will be normal when you wake up?
2.) Inspect your surroundings further from the bed.
3.) [ENDURANCE CHALLENGING]: Pull out the equipment and get out of bed.
ENDURANCE (SUCCESS) - You manage to swing your legs over the side of the bed. Despite how muscled your body looks, it's pretty difficult. Now that you're mostly upright, you pull out the IV and take off the rest of the equipment you can manage. That leaves the matter of the catheter.
FOXHUNT - Screw this, you need out. Roll off the bed.
YOU - You roll off of the bed-
PAIN THRESHOLD - -pulling out the fully inflated catheter as you do.
YOU - Oh, crud, that hurts.
PERCEPTION - It did some damage, too. There's a thin red line of blood behind you-
-----------------------------------
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - In the first bed, there is the corpse of a woman. She's unrecognizable, and it's not just the amnesia. Her body is desiccated. There's no sign of rot.
YOU - What... happened to you?
CORPSE OF A WOMAN - I took a risk. It didn't pay off the way I wanted it to.
YOU - Yeah.
CREWMATE - There is something about this woman. It's not just the fact that she's died. You feel a deep sadness when you look at her. You knew this woman, in your past life. You might have been close. Now, she is gone, and you do not remember her name. She is your half-sister and you cannot remember her.
YOU - And the second bed?
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Not much better. There is an equally-if-not-more desiccated corpse lying in this bed. Like with the last, there is no sign of rot.
CREWMATE - He, too, is your half-brother.
SCIENCE TEACHER - There are eight commonly accepted stages of decomposition. These corpses appear to be in the seventh stage- skeletonization. The fact that they are this far along suggests they have been dead for years, but the complete absence of the smell of rot and the mostly-intact appearance of the corpses is unusual. They have been taken care of well after their deaths.
YOU - Did the same thing happen to you?
CORPSE OF A MAN - Much the same, yes.
YOU - ...did I know you?
CORPSE OF A MAN - Yes. And I you, for however short a time we had.
YOU - I'm sorry. I'm sorry you didn't make it out, whatever happened.
COMPOSURE - There are tears threatening to fall.
CREWMATE - Let them. These two deserve as much.
YOU - You cry. Hard sobs. Whoever these two were to you, it was important.
PAIN THRESHOLD - The sight of their bodies is a knife to the gut.
YOU - It takes a long time for you to run out of tears. When you finally do, you wipe your face and look away.
When you find the jumpsuits, you remember.
CREWMATE - These were what they should have worn. They should have been standing by you now, her with a smile brighter than a quasar, him with a presence as steady and constant as the sun. They lie dead behind you.
SCIENCE TEACHER - The writing on here - one is Cyrillic characters. The other seems like some variant of Chinese- Mandarin or Cantonese, you can't remember. And the logos- it's not too hard to recognize them. Roscosmos and CNSA. You're on a space mission, after all.
CREWMATE - Olesya Ilyukina and Yáo Li-Jie. Those were their names. Some of the bravest people you have ever met. They were crew. Now they are gone.
YOU - You haul two uniforms into the dormitory. With the help of the Robot Arms you manage to change them into their uniforms.
ENDURANCE [Trivial: Success]- It is not easy to maneuver in this space, but Olesya's body is light.
SCIENCE TEACHER - The human body is, on average, 60% water by mass. Most of that is evaporated by now.
YOU - You get to the airlock.
HAND-EYE COORDINATION [Easy: Success] - It's almost muscle memory to operate the airlock door.
YOU - Getting Yáo's body is a short process.
EMPATHY - You ruminate for a moment about the cruelty of it. There was nothing either of them could have done - it's pure luck you're the one who survived. They were astronauts; this was their passion. And it was ripped from them while they were helpless.
CREWMATE - They were astronauts. It is right to bury them in the stars.
PAIN THRESHOLD - No matter how much it hurts to send their bodies away.
YOU - "Yáo Li-Jie," you murmur. "Olesya Ilyukhina." The names fall out of your mouth with ease, despite you not speaking either language. You've said their names many times. "I commend your bodies to the stars."
CORPSE OF OLESYA ILYUKHINA - It's not how I wanted. But maybe this is a better way to end.
CORPSE OF YÁO LI-JIE - Thank you, doctor. We will go, now.
HAND-EYE COORDINATION - With shaking hands and blurry vision, you initiate the jettison sequence.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - There is no time to watch them go. One moment they are there, the next they are gone. You will never see them again.
STARGAZER - The ship is already moving away, and the little velocity gained by jettison pushes them even further away from you. Their bodies will float there for a long, long time, never quite decomposing. They have joined a very small group, of people who were born on Earth but did not die there. The stars receive them well, for now. Someday, far from now, an object will come near them as they drift along. A star, a planet, a black hole, it doesn't matter. They will be bent into an orbit around it that will inevitably decay, pulling them apart, and then they will be gone. Returned to the universe in their smaller components.
EARTHLING - Back on their home and yours, in a Russian city, someone has a small graveyard. In there is the bones of a dog. There will be the headstone of a woman next to it, but that day has not yet come. Somebody comes to visit that dog's bones often, bringing flowers for two.
Somewhere in China, an elderly couple has their neighbors over for dinner, like they do every week. Sometimes they talk about their son. He's far from home, they say, we haven't seen him in a while, but he's doing good work. There is always a place saved for him at the table.
In San Francisco there is an empty classroom.
VOLITION - They are gone, but the mission is not. You will carry it on in their memory.
...just as soon as you remember what it is.
-------------------------------
YOU - So I remember the mission now. Project Hail Mary.
VOLITION - Yes. A mission to save all of humankind. One you are part of.
YOU - And I remember my name. I don't remember all of you, though.
VOLITION - That's because we weren't there before.
LOGIC - Probably a coma complication.
YOU - Yeah, sounds about right. I don't think I'm supposed to be hearing voices talking in my head, though. Or non-living things speaking to me.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Symptoms of psychosis include delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, and incoherent speech.
YOU - Am I experiencing psychosis?
LOGIC [Formidable: Success] - It's possible. But if you are, it seems like you're pretty functional. And reality is backing up what you're thinking in shocking detail. Your subconscious probably couldn't create something this complex and scientifically grounded, especially without your memories. Everything is remarkably consistent. It's probably best to presume that this is, in fact, real.
SCIENCE TEACHER - In many cultures, hearing voices is not a strictly negative experience. It can be interpreted in a religious or spiritual context and the voices can be helpful to the person hearing them.
FOXHUNT - Yeah, but that's probably what everyone experiencing psychosis thinks.
LOGIC - Most people experiencing this level of psychosis would not have the insight to consider if it's is real.
YOU - Alright. I just... go with it, then.
COOL TEACHER [Medium: Failure] - We should try doing flips.
HEDONIST - The telescope views are so pretty...
VOLITION - First priority is Earth. We have a job to do; best to get to it. We can't do too much in the way of biology until we really get to Tau Ceti but there's things we can do here.
1.) Keep considering if you're experiencing psychosis
2.) VOLITON - Find something to work on here
3.) COOL TEACHER - Try doing zero-g flips
4.) HEDONIST - Keep looking at the telescope views
CHECK FAILURE
YOU - You push off the wall and try to do a flip. You end up just floating in an awkward, contorted position in the middle of the room.
ENDURANCE - It takes a lot of wriggling, but you make it back to a handhold.
1.) Keep considering if you're experiencing psychosis
2.) VOLITON - Find something to work on here
3.) COOL TEACHER - Try doing zero-g flips
4.) HEDONIST - Keep looking at the telescope views
CHECK SUCCESS
YOU- There's a lot to do aboard the Hail Mary. It's not too hard to pick up a project.
---------------------------------------
YOU - So they threw a tube at us?
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] - Seems like it. There's a small seam around the edge, probably a cap? Or more likely, some kind of screwed-on lid.
GRAY TUBE - Should you open me, what you will find will astound you. But there is no small risk.
ACADEMIC - What's *in* there?
LOGIC [Trivial: Failure] Only one way to find out.
YOU - You try to twist the cap off.
GRAY TUBE - The tube does not open.
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - This is an alien species. They have no reason to follow the same standards that humans do. Try the other way.
YOU - When you twist to the left, the mechanism moves under your hands.
GRAY TUBE: Are you ready for me?
LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Wait-
ACADEMIC [Trivial: Success] - Hold on-
SCIENCE TEACHER [Trivial: Success] - We need a-
PERCEPTION (SMELL) - Too late. A horrible smell assaults your nostrils.
PAIN THRESHOLD - They burn. Your eyes water as you throw yourself away from the tube.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Fume hood.
ACADEMIC - Fume hood.
LOGIC - Fume hood.
YOU - ....
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Ammonia. That's what's in that tube. Ammonia.
ACADEMIC - So this organism lives in an atmosphere saturated with ammonia? Is it important for their respiratory processes? What are they made of, that ammonia doesn't harm them? Is it essential?
YOU - Well, I just heavily compromised our only sample. Like an idiot. So we can't study the concentrations. I just have to hope that whatever's in there doesn't need the ammonia to be comprehensible.
ACADEMIC [Challenging: Success] - Well, they're clearly intelligent enough to have created spaceflight. And they matched velocities you're comfortable with when they threw it. They're clearly not stupid and they're not completely flabbergasted by the concept of alien life. Their spaceship is astrophage-powered, for god's sake. So they're smart. A smart organism, when coming into first contact with an unknown species, would probably anticipate possible differences in atmospheres. And if they sent it in a tube designed to be opened (and possibly exposed to such atmospheric conditions, because they don't know if you have fume hood technology) they probably didn't make it rely on whatever atmospheric conditions they have. They probably considered a range of temperatures, pressures and chemical solutions. Of course, they can't predict everything, so there's still a possibility it's completely ruined. Maybe on their planet Earth conditions are so extreme they don't exist, so nothing they make can stand up to it. Which is, again, supremely unlikely, but possible.
YOU - Okay. So I'm probably not screwed.
ACADEMIC - Pretty much.
YOU - You pour out the contents of the container.
PERCEPTION - What comes out springs up once it leaves the confines. It's an elegant structure, metal by the looks of it, with lines and spheres.
LOGIC [Godly: Failure] - You have absolutely no clue what this is.
------------------------------------------
YOU - Oh my god. Oh my god. That's an actual alien.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - The being in front of you seems to have five legs (?) connected to a central body(??????). Its outer layer looks hard, almost like rock.
ACADEMIC - Is that some sort of keratin-like substance? It's not reflective and it looks somewhat segmented. Maybe it is actually inorganic rock? It probably serves a purpose similar to skin. Or a carapace. Probably closer to the second. What is this thing made of? What kind of organs does it have? Are the legs somewhat independent? How does its brain work? Does it have a circulatory system? It must. There's no visible openings on its body - how does it eat? Is it somewhat photosynthetic? Or does whatever it's made of absorb nutrients? Maybe there's some part that splits open?
VOLITION - Does its planet need help too?
COOL TEACHER - This is first contact! You have to represent the coolest human specimen to this creature!
YOU - How do I do that?
COOL TEACHER [Challenging: Failure] - Strike a pose?
YOU - You throw on finger guns and do your best approximation of an action pose
ACTUAL ALIEN - The being on the other side of the wall starts tapping at it with one of the claws.
LOGIC [Medium: Failure] - What???
COOL TEACHER - Did it work?
YOU - You tap back.
ACTUAL ALIEN - That makes it tap harder.
YOU - You tap harder in return.
ACTUAL ALIEN- It starts tapping even harder, waving some of its other legs around and making oddly musical noises.
YOU - Huh???
LOGIC [Medium: Success] - Oh. Look where it's pointing.
YOU - "Pointing. Not tapping. Yeah. Okay." You turn around.
---------------------------------------
ROCKY - "Grace. Grace." He's tapping impatiently on the edges of the xenonite tunnels he's made for himself.
YOU- "Yeah?"
ROCKY - "Grace show Rocky human science machines. Grace say will show, has not. Show now. Before human brain forgets."
YOU - You wince internally. Yeah, you did promise to show Rocky the scientific instruments in the lab a couple days ago. Yeah, you did forget about it. VOLITION - We were busy making sure our worlds don't die. There were other priorities. YOU - But there's downtime now. And it's mission-relevant anyways. "Sure, dude," you reply.
ACADEMIC - *I* didn't forget.
ROCKY - Rocky makes a few contented noises and scuttles off towards the lab.
YOU - You follow suit. Once inside the lab, all the machines jostle for your attention.
MASS SPECTROMETER - Here! Me! Hello!
AUTOCLAVE - Greetings.
FUME HOOD - COME HERE. I WILL TEACH YOU MANY THINGS.
INCUBATOR - My turn first!
REFRIGERATOR - come see... I contain mysteries within....
PILE OF GLASSWARE - We are many/We are one/We are clean/We are dirty/We are cracked/We are essential
YOU - You're all very eager.
MASS SPECTROMETER - Yes!
AUTOCLAVE - It has been many years that we spent in transit, without anything to do. Now you and the mechanic are here. ACADEMIC - Let me work, Doctor Grace. Come *on*, you know you wanna mess with this stuff. It's so *fun*... HEDONIST - Fun! Fun!
FUME HOOD - COME CLOSE AND EXTOLL MY VIRTUES.
YOU - Oh. Okay. So it's still doing that.
PILE OF GLASSWARE - You need us/We are first/We are essential
YOU - Rocky already knows what you are, though.
PILE OF GLASSWARE - We are essential!
YOU - Okay, fine. "Rocky, you know all that stuff over there?" You gesture vaguely towards the PILE OF GLASSWARE.
ROCKY - "Yes. Is glassware. Know already."
EMPATHY - He's a bit impatient with you. He came here to learn about complex scientific machinery, not be told what glassware is.
YOU - "I know you know. They just really wanted you to know how useful they are." See, guys? He knows about you.
PILE OF GLASSWARE - Our purpose has been acknowledged/Our usefulness is known/We are appreciated/We are many
ROCKY - He chitters a little bit. You've explained your... situation to him, and while he doesn't fully get what's happening (Eridian brains don't quite...do stuff like that) he's adjusted fairly well to it. "Happy now?" he asks.
YOU - "Yeah. They're good." You scan the rest of the room. Who's next?
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - The closest machine to the door is the autoclave.
AUTOCLAVE - Oh, joy! I am to be first! Come and press my buttons, Doctor Grace. Open my door, and shut it again!
YOU - "Rocky, this is an autoclave. It heats things inside of it."
AUTOCLAVE - Doctor! That is too simple! Do not make me sound like an oven, of all things.
YOU - "It also can control for pressure inside. You can set specific times on it, too. Or set up some kind of cycle of heating and pressure change. It's good for sterilization or setting certain materials, among other things."
AUTOCLAVE - Acceptable.
YOU - Next?
MASS SPECTROMETER - It's me! It's me!
YOU - You pat the mass spec. Guys, we really need to make a line.
MASS SPECTROMETER - Me first.
YOU - Okay, you can be first. Then order of distance?
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - By that order, it would be mass spectrometer, incubator, fume hood, and then refrigerator.
DISTILLER - What about me?
CENTRIFUGE - And me?
LOGIC - They're all going to start talking, aren't they.
YOU - We have so much lab supplies!
LOGIC - Better get started. You could just skip some of them...
EMPATHY - No.
YOU - This is going to take far too long.
--------------------------------
YOU - Oh no.
VOLITON - ....
YOU - Are...
VOLITION - I don't know what to do.
FOXHUNT - She betrayed us! They all did!
VOLITION - No. We betrayed them. I thought- I don't know anymore.
YOU - We... tried to run.
VOLITION - I'm sorry. I failed.
YOU - We didn't even have anyone to lose.
STARGAZER - But would that really have made it harder?
CREWMATE [Challenging: Success] - When Yáo, Ilyukhina, Du Bois, and Shapiro volunteered for the mission, the thing they had most in mind were the people they were doing it for.
EMPATHY - They had someone. They had a reason to go.
STARGAZER - There was a purpose. It is incredible what a human will do for their loved ones.
LOGIC - 'One death is a tragedy, one million is a statistic.' If you have close family, close friends, someone intensely important to you, you have a real, tangible cause to die for. It puts it down to a human level.
YOU - What?
LOGIC - All the others had people to stay for, yes. But their attachment to those people made the sacrifice easier because it was for them. You didn't have anyone to do it for.
YOU - I had friends, though, didn't I?
CREWMATE - Your closest friends were the Hail Mary mission members. Your entire relationship was predicated on the fact that they would die. And your other friendships were mostly work. You and Stratt... you had a friendship, but the world just wasn't right for anything emotional. You had your students, but that's not the same. They weren't your kids.
SCIENCE TEACHER - Humans often do things they would not otherwise consider if their lives are threatened. Most life wants to keep itself alive above all else.
EMPATHY - It was a suicide mission and you had no time to choose. You never even wrote a will! You weren't prepared for it. You going was the last resort and they had no time.
FOXHUNT - They still betrayed us. They took us away from home. She killed us!
EMPATHY - She knows.
YOU - Is it bad of me that I don't... *want* to forgive them?
EMPATHY - That's for you to choose.
VOLITION - And the mission still has to happen. That's my job. Whatever happened, we're here now, and there's worlds counting on us.
-------------------------------------
CREWMATE - On Earth, Eva Stratt gazes out into the night and remembers someone she lost, long ago.
EMPATHY - She loved you, you know.
YOU - Oh. But I thought I didn't-
EMPATHY - It wasn't like that. At least not to you. She didn't love you like that.
YOU - How did she love me?
ACADEMIC - Like an engineer loves their favorite tool?
LOGIC - Like a programmer loves their rubber duck?
EMPATHY - No, not that way.
STARGAZER - Like a red giant loved the planet it consumed?
FOXHUNT - Like an oil baron loves the shale?
EMPATHY - No. Not either of those.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Like the freezing love sleep?
EMPATHY - No.
CREWMATE - Like an owner loves their loyal dog?
EMPATHY - No! It wasn't like any of those. Look, it doesn't matter what you call it. What you and Eva Stratt had was not familial, platonic, romantic, or sexual, either. When it comes down to it, the truth is this: there are no words for what was between you.
STARGAZER - You could think of similes until the Sun expands, and you would still never find the right words.
EMPATHY - She loved you. That's all.
YOU - Did I love her back?
EMPATHY - I can't tell you. That's for you to decide.
YOU - ...how is she doing, anyways?
CREWMATE [Challenging: Success] - Eva Stratt spends her days working, as always. She's just on a different tack, now. Still sitting down at meetings with world leaders, but this time, it's kept quiet. Most governmental officials don't want it to be known they're talking to her. At the moment, she's sitting down in a room with a Swedish dignitary.
"The power plants?" she says brusquely. No introduction needed - they know her. No pleasantries, either; she's put those aside habitually. There was no time during the Astrophage crisis. There is a little more now, but not enough.
"Yes," the dignitary replies. He's unsurprised. They've met before. "We need more energy from them. The heating systems the Russians shared with us are helpful but power intensive and we're struggling to keep up with demand."
He pulls out a set of schematics. "We've set a team of engineers up to draft solutions. Blueprints, for potential expansions in production and efficiency," he adds, gesturing to the papers with his free hand.
Stratt reaches out to study the blueprints. The work goes on.
YOU - And the rest of them?
CREWMATE [Impossible: Success] - Doctor Lamai is still in medicine, but only just. Most of her work these days involves coordinating global relief efforts, directing volunteering personnel in delivering life-saving treatments. There's a large workforce that's sprung up of ordinary people, most of whom had no prior medical experience, undergoing a training course that gives them some skills. Enough to send them out to deliver vaccinations and antibiotics, or take care of the sick and injured. Doctor Lamai helps directs them.
Leclerc works in groups with other depressed climate scientists. They're all doing their best to conserve the biosphere, but it's hard going to convince governments to hand them resources when their populations are either starving or constantly on the brink of it. Leclerc's gotten a few to hand some cash over when he reminds them of how interconnected everything is, though. Conserving the biosphere is the only way they'll be able to bounce back. He drinks a lot these days. Sometimes his exhausted rage when he pleads his case is enough.
Dr. Lokken works on Astrophage power. She doesn't sleep much; hasn't in years. Still as headstrong as ever, and even more well respected. Once, after not sleeping for around 45 hours, she called a roomful of politicians 'fucking idiots.' They'd questioned how much certain more-expensive of her design were needed. "Cutting costs?" she'd asked incredulously. "With this? These generators are how we will warm the greenhouses you need to make sure your citizens don't starve. They will keep your infrastructure running. They will prevent *your people* from freezing to death in their own homes. We can have no cutting of costs until we are sure a cheaper alternative works well. This is as streamlined as it can be. Get your heads out of your asses, for once."
Hatch still holds on to his optimism with a death grip. He's learned not to express it as publicly, but when he's by himself, he'll pray. He'll pray for his Beetles, for the ship, for the mission, for the crew. He is one of many praying to a thousand different gods that you will succeed. Hatch knows it's about time for you all to have arrived. Halfway there, he reminds himself. Once more, and then we'll be alright. In his work, he's part of a million different groups working on ways to directly control Astrophage populations. It's not easy going. He holds on anyways.
Dmitri is Eva's right hand nowadays. They share a house, during the rare times they're at home. It's a practical concern; they need to be able to update each other easily and coordinate information across sectors. Much of the time, they're traveling across the world attending meetings and working out compromises and when they're home they spend their days on computers coordinating virtually. It's tough work. The two of them will pass each other in the kitchen or the hallway, share the details of their latest meeting and move on. At the end of the day they go to sleep on opposite sides of the house. Most days there's a few sentences exchanged for work and nothing else. Sometimes Dmitri will open a bottle of alcohol and try to remember those long-gone days when he felt like himself.
Carl tried to distance himself at first. He just wanted to live, but he was too tied up in all of it. Anywhere he applied, they knew who he'd worked for before. Eventually, he gave up. There was no escaping it so he works. There wasn't really another option for him; he's just not the right kind of person.
YOU - Will they be okay?
EARTHLING - In a makeshift medical facility, a young woman barely an adult helps another safely deliver a baby. All she has for preparation is the course she took before leaving and the few months she's spent putting those lessons into practice. She's terrified that she and her coworkers will fail, but when it's all over parent and child are safe and healthy.
In a huge block of emergency housing, families gather together in one cramped apartment. Children run in and out of the doors up and down the hallways while adults split up the food they've been rationed. Under the light of a setting sun, two preteens sit on top of the tallest boulder they could find and peer out at the star millions of miles away. They haven't known any life other than this one, where the seasons steadily get colder and there's never enough to go around. Astrophage is a fact of life for them. In their classes today, taught by an exhausted teacher not too much older than them, they learned about the science behind the Petrova line. Now, at sunset, they try to peer around the disk of the sun to see it.
An engineer downs their third energy drink and keeps working on their designs. A biologist waits for the news on the paper they submitted. A farmer tends to the fields. A surgeon extracts a malignant tumor from an old woman's thigh. Just last week she finished the quilt she started for her new grandchild.
This world is inhabited by many organisms. Among them, there is a species of squishy, leaky, bipedal creatures with an entirely too complex organ resting in their skulls. They have an impressive capability for cruelty. They are very tenacious. They care deeply for each other. It will take more than this to kill their spirit.
ROCKY - "Grace okay, question?" His voice jolts you out of your head. "Face doing strange motions. Staring."
YOU - You shrug it off. "Just thinking, Rocks."
ROCKY - "Thinking or talking?"
FOXHUNT - Tell me why we explained this to him again?
LOGIC - So we could work together effectively.
FOXHUNT- But now he knows. What if he thinks we're too crazy to be useful and drops us out of the ship?
EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - Rocky would never do that. Even if he doesn't get it, he would never do that to us.
1.) "Talking." (Tell the truth)
2.) FOXHUNT- Convince Rocky you're not too crazy to be useful.
3.) COMPOSURE- "Just thinking." (Lie)
4.) Say nothing.
YOU - "Talking," you admit. "But thinking, also."
ROCKY - "About what?"
YOU - "Home. If they're doing okay back there." You haven't told him about some of the... *weirder* voices that inhabit your mind. The ones that tell you about things you shouldn't be able to know.
ROCKY - He shifts his weight around, a tell that he's a little uncomfortable. "Worried for friends, question?" he says, voice smaller than normal. "Family?"
YOU - "Yeah," you say. It's close enough. "And the whole world, I guess. Just...everyone. It's been thirteen years for them. A lot can happen in that time."
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - This is not an easy topic for Rocky. He misses his mate and his clutch mates and his coworkers. He especially misses his crew. During his many years in the Tau Ceti system he's had a lot of time to ruminate on how his planet is doing. He's thought of about every possible thing that could have happened to Erid and then some.
YOU - "Oh, shoot. Sorry, Rocky."
ROCKY - "Question?"
YOU - I said that out loud, didn't I.
COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Yup.
YOU - "Just, uh-" you gesture vaguely at your brain. "Stuff. Didn't realize I was talking."
CREWMATE - He's a little put off by how you sometimes seem to know what he's thinking. Rocky's pretty sure you're just really, really good at Eridian body language. Something to do with human neurology.
EMPATHY - You could ask him about it.
YOU - What?
EMPATHY - His crewmates. His people back home, how he's doing. You could ask about it.
COOL TEACHER - OR... we could segue!
1.) EMPATHY- Ask Rocky about how he's doing.
2.) COOL TEACHER- Change the subject.
3.) Don't say anything.
4.) FOXHUNT- Run away from this conversation
CHECK SUCCESS
YOU - "How are *you* doing, Rocky?" You keep your tone as casual as you can.
ROCKY - Rocky makes an aborted movement out of the corner of your eye, one you register as surprise. He starts a couple of chords but stops after each one. Trying to find a word.
EMPATHY - This isn't an easy conversation for him to have.
ROCKY - "Rocky is..." he begins, trailing off in consideration before doing his mimic of a human shrug.
EMPATHY - He's trying to avoid this. But it's been a long time coming.
YOU - What do I do?
EMPATHY - Give him time. Just let him think.
CREWMATE - Rocky is trying to decide if he should lie to you.
FOXHUNT - I knew it!
CREWMATE - Rocky doesn't want to make himself your problem. Since he found you he's been doing his best to make sure you're doing okay. He tells you it's for the integrity of the mission, and it is, but mostly it's that he wants you to be okay. In your circumstances, happy is a tall order, so he settles for okay.
He needs you. He needs your company. Eridians aren't meant to be alone any more than humans are and the years of loneliness wore very heavily on him. The hurt of losing his crew and the fear he will lose what he has now are always in his mind.
So he doesn't want you to worry too much. And he wants to make sure you're okay. The problem with this is that he doesn't know how to handle it when that's turned on him.
EMPATHY - Remember, it has been a very long time since somebody made sure Rocky was okay.
CREWMATE - During the mission, after the sickness set in, his crew was either dying or trying frantically to keep the others alive. Before that, they were too worried about the ship's integrity and the mission objective to really have that personal connection. Nobody has asked him in a very long time. He's just not used to this.
ROCKY - "Bad," Rocky admits. "Scared. For planet, for friends. Don't know what will happen, don't know if we will succeed, don't know if we will get home. And-" he cuts himself off, in the way you've seen him do when you don't have good words. "On mission," he starts, "when radiation sickness starts, scared. Very scared and confused. But...adjusted. Not less scared, different scared. Then once crew is gone, more scared. Same scared. Adjusted again. Still scared. Always there. Never stops." He pauses for a moment. "Then meet Grace! Now have hope, now not on Blip-A anymore. But still scared. Don't know why. Not gone."
YOU - You settle yourself down onto the floor cross-legged.
COOL TEACHER - Be calm about it.
YOU - Why are *you* here?
COOL TEACHER - We were the cool teacher. Teachers are mandated reporters. You were the guy a lot of your students felt safe talking to when they needed something. You were the person who could casually ask where a bruise came from or what those straight-line scars were from without spooking the kids. You were the one that got on their level and didn't patronize them. It helped.
COMPOSURE - Rocky knows how to read your facial expressions. Keep it together.
YOU - "I don't know if Eridian brains do this," you say slowly, "but in human brains when we're in bad situations our bodies trigger a response. It's called the fight-or-flight reflex. It's something modulated by our nervous system that releases chemicals that keep our bodies ready to run away or fight. Do Eridians have something like that?"
ROCKY - Rocky perks up a little. Cultural exchange is an easier topic. "Yes. Eridians have 🎵🎵᭼. Works with the joint pressures and heat vents to change intervals mostly so Eridian can run more and be stronger."
YOU - You enter the translation into your software. "In humans, when we spend a lot of time in that bad situation, the fight-or-flight reflex chemicals stay circulating in the system. Bodies try to stay in a balanced state, so it starts treating those chemicals as normal. And so the brain registers those fear chemicals as normal. Sometimes when you get out of the bad situation, though, the body hasn't caught up with the fact that it doesn't need to be ready anymore. So you keep getting the chemicals."
COOL TEACHER - Don't drag him to the conclusion; just dance around it. If you try to push it on him, he could balk. He might not be ready for that, so be careful. Let him come to it
YOU - "Can anything like that happen with Eridian brains?"
COMPOSURE - Don't stare at him. Keep your tone light.
ROCKY - "...yes. Can happen to Eridians."
YOU - You lean against the xenonite wall. After a few moments, Rocky shuffles up closer to you.
-----------------------------------------
ROCKY - Turns out Eridians also kind of have dancing.
You and Rocky had been hanging out, sharing bits of each other's planets. You'd turned to the topic of music and dance. One thing led to another and now you're watching Rocky try to demonstrate Eridian dancing to some electronic song you're playing over the sound system. He admitted beforehand that he really does not know how to dance well, so...
COMPOSURE - It looks kind of silly and it's showing on your face.
ROCKY - "Grace not laugh! Rocky not dancer!" He makes a few jokingly frustrated noises. "Grace show human dances. Prove better if laughing."
YOU - "Alright, sure." You stand up and get ready.
COOL TEACHER - Oh, I've got this. You've chaperoned for dances a fair few times and we had fun in college, you know how to dance!
ENDURANCE - You pick one of the dances you remember and go at it vigorously.
As you keep dancing with Rocky, you start modifying steps and adding your own.
It doesn't feel like it's been that long.
But then your head feels floaty.
You keep going, bumping around Rocky as the two of you move to the sounds.
Except black spots crowd in around your eyes and before you can warn Rocky-
EARTHLING - There is a planet millions of miles away, a small rocky world with liquid water on its surface and a huge, complex biosphere. As the plates on its surface shift, there are almost imperceptible sound waves. But if you listen just right, you can hear it.
The whisper.
HOME - HELLO.
YOU - Who...are you?
HOME - I AM YOUR BIRTHPLACE. I AM THE BIRTHPLACE OF YOUR SPECIES.
YOU - You're Earth?
HOME- THAT IS ONE OF MY NAMES.
I MISS YOU. I HAVE NOT HELD YOU IN MANY YEARS.
YOU - I know. I miss you, too. I'm sorry we can't meet again.
HOME - THOUGH WE MAY NOT MEET I WILL BE WITH YOU. I AM IN YOUR MARROW AND OF YOUR BREATH. YOU CANNOT LOSE ME. I WILL NOT FORGET YOU.
YOU - Oh. Thank you.
HOME - DO NOT FORGET ME. I WILL END SOMEDAY, LONG AFTER YOU. BUT DO NOT FORGET ME WHILE I LIVE. I NEED YOU.
YOU - I won't, I promise.
HOME - STAY ALIVE. HOLD STEADY. REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU. YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
You - I will.