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After Severide drops Ben off at the Davidsons, he heads back home hoping to spend some time with Griffin and Casey. He knows that Griffin’s getting older, now into his teens (if barely) and wants to spend more time with his friends than with his dads, so he wants to cherish any time he can with the kid.
He knows that it wouldn’t be that long before he’s off to college and moving out and … somehow, he and Casey are already skipping ahead to when the boys are leaving them.
Empty nest syndrome without an empty nest for at least a few years.
Still, when he leaves the garage for the backyard, he’s a little surprised to find Casey laying out on a blanket, hands clasped on his stomach, staring up the sky and completely alone.
“Case?” Severide prompts, when he doesn’t seem to notice Severide moving to lay beside him. “Where’s Griffin? Thought you were playing catch?”
“Jessie and Dani came by. Wanted to invite him to hang out,” Casey says, sounding a bit sad. “I told him to go even though we had plans. We can play catch anytime, right?”
“Yet, you sound like you just heard about a party you weren’t invited to,” Severide offers, playfully, nudging him a little bit, so he knows he’s just teasing and because he wants to hold his hand.
Casey scoffs as he immediately takes the hint, linking their hands together. “I’m used to not being invited to the party, I just … I’m happy for him, really.”
“Uh-huh?”
“I just… he’s growing up so fast and before we know it, he’s not even going to want Saturday pancakes and cartoons or Sundays with just the four of us. He’s going to choose his friends, and whoever he dates, and we’re going to spend less and less time together and then, he’s going to disappear off to college.”
Severide gives him a soft smile, as he turns his head to him, but Casey’s still staring at the sky and the clouds. “He’s growing up, Case. It’s normal.”
“I know that.”
“But it doesn’t mean that we can’t be sad about it,” Severide offers, softly. “We just … need to accept that things are changing. More friend time and less dad time.”
Casey hums. “Still sucks. It came so fast because they were already in school by the time we got them – not that I would’ve wanted the chaos to happen any sooner, but…”
He knows what Casey means.
“Is this the part where you ask me to have another baby?” Severide teases.
He’s not surprised when Casey huffs, “If I had a pillow, I’d be hitting you with it.”
Severide laughs as he shifts up to one elbow to look down at Casey watching the clouds in the sky. “I’m just saying – terrible empty nest syndrome could easily lead to –”
“A) you can’t knock me up even if you tried and B) I don’t want a baby, I just want to freeze time and enjoy hanging out with the boys playing catch and having pancakes.”
“You have small dreams,” Severide jokes.
“You’re an asshole,” Casey retorts, but there’s no real venom behind his words. Especially since he’s got a slight smile on his face.
“At least, I’m your asshole.”
Casey snorts. “That – I don’t think that works as well as I’m your dumbass.”
Severide chuckles. “Yeah, it sounded a little weird to my ears.”
“Point is – you can’t knock me up any more than I could knock you up and I –”
Severide cuts him off with a kiss because this would get them nowhere and now, he kinda wants to try to knock him up even though he can’t.
The way Casey melts against him and lifts a hand to thread through Severide’s hair makes it seem like he doesn’t seem to mind.
He pulls away and it takes a second for Casey to open his eyes, again. “Fuck, Sev, I know you can’t, but I almost want you to try.”
Severide grins. “It would be my pleasure to fuck you silly.”
Casey lifts his head to kiss him and says, “Good, then, lead the way.”
***
Once the feelings of desire and pleasure have subsided and they’ve gotten clean, somehow, Casey manages to convince Severide to come and watch the clouds in the sky with him.
Severide seems more than happy to tease and joke about what he’s seeing in the clouds, but Casey’s still thinking a little bit the earlier conversation. He’s never really thought about any other kids. He kinda assumed that neither of them would want any other kids.
Why would they when they had the boys? Why would they when they happy as is?
But did Severide want other kids? Maybe one of his own?
“Why are you looking at me and not the clouds?” Severide asks, turning his head towards Casey. “When you wanted to watch the clouds?”
“I was just… I assumed that you didn’t want any more kids, but I assumed you didn’t want to go out for Valentine’s Day…”
“Case,” Severide says, softly. “I am perfectly happy with the boys.”
“Earlier, though…”
“Empty nest syndrome when Griffin just got to being a teen is not a good enough reason to try and have another kid, and after all of the teasing I’ve done of Davidson since we found out they were starting over after a decade or all the teasing we did of Herrmann when he kept accidently getting Cindy pregnant, I’m not about to change my mind,” he states, plainly.
Casey can see just how sincere he is about it, and he feels relieved. The idea of trying and changing things with their lives and the boys isn’t something he really wanted – not with adoption or somehow a surrogacy thing – there’s just a part of him that remembers how little he and Hallie had talked about kids until it was nearly too late, and he needed to be sure.
“You really mean that?” Casey questions, searching his eyes.
“Yeah, Matt, I really do. I don’t want any other kids. I’m happy with you and our boys and that’s all I need,” Severide assures him.
“And you’re not like… feeling like you’re missing out on anything?” he asks, half-uncertainly.
Maybe it’s all the excitement for Davidson and his new kid, or maybe it’s the thing with the nurse that was a fling of Severide’s when Griffin had his appendix surgery, but he suddenly finds himself wondering if Severide wouldn’t want to be with … someone like her. Maybe he’d have a normal life if he hadn’t been living with Casey when the boys became theirs.
… maybe he’d have his own bio kids.
Severide turns to face him fully and Casey mirrors him.
“Matt, I don’t know where this is coming from, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything,” he says, sincerely. “We built a family together and I am madly in love with you.” He brings their linked hands to his lips and kisses the back of Casey’s hand. “I can’t wait to be Lieutenant Casey-Severide someday and I don’t want or expect any other kids to come along with that.”
Casey can’t help melting at the hopelessly in love look in Severide’s eyes and he knows he means it, so he leans forward and presses a kiss to his lips.
It’s short and sweet, but so full of love.
When he leans back, he sees Severide searching his eyes. “What about you, Sweetheart? Do you think you’ve missed out on anything? Do you want another kid?”
“Of course not,” Casey says, quickly and truthfully. “I just – the boys have literally been everything I ever wanted. Getting to raise them, not have to worry about DNA issues (you know, with my parents, and all) and you – you…”
“What about me?” Severide prompts when Casey trails off.
“I almost feel bad saying this,” he sees Severide tense for a second, “because Hallie probably deserves better, but fuck, Sev, you have been the best partner I’ve ever had. You get me in a way that no one else ever did. I feel like … I don’t have to worry about me and you falling apart after everything we’ve been through together and it makes me love you all the more. I can’t imagine my life without you, but I just…”
“You just what?”
“I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page,” Casey states. “I didn’t do that with Hallie …”
“And I’m not Hallie,” Severide retorts. “We’re doing great together, and we’ve always been on the same page. And we’re still on the same page now.”
Casey nods, relieved. He gives him a smile. “Sometimes I just get all in my head.”
Severide offers him a smile. “It happens. Just – we’re on the same page. I couldn’t be happier with you, me and the boys. We don’t need anyone else.”
“Damn straight,” Casey offers.
He gives him a kiss and then rolls onto his back. “So, cloud watching?”
“Sounds fun.”
“Good.”