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Levi grabbed your arm tightly, dragging you away from the crowd the moment you finished taking your gear off. Once you both were away from crying eyes, he pulled the collar of your shirt down roughly to make you eye level with him, his own staring daggers into yours. “What the fuck was that?” He seethed, his ears close to steaming. You stared back at him, just blinding. His anger never scared you, but you were confused on why it was brought on. You didn't fail the mission. You killed a few titans even. It was statistically a success. So what was making him so upset? You pulled away to question him directly, needing him to be able to see your hands.
“What do you mean, Captain?” Your hands spoke for you as you pressed your lips tightly together. He looked up at you in something worse than surprise. His eyes searched for any kind of recognition, and then, not finding any, fell to the floor in near despair.
“... I really can't believe you sometimes…” His voice was quiet now. His hands formed fists at his sides, then released. His breathing steadied. “It's fine, Lieutenant. Nevermind. Just- Go get yourself checked out by Hange.” He cleared his throat, waving a hand to dismiss you. You follow the direction given.
The door to the medical wing creaked open as gently as it could, which made the fact that Levi was the one behind it even more surprising. Then again, he's never been the type of man to slam doors or hit furniture. “How are you feeling, Lieutenant?” He looked you over carefully, eyes dragging over the bandages. Hange's report had informed him that you had a fractured rib, cuts from branches all over your body, and bruising on your chest and legs.
“I feel fine.” You signed, and you weren't lying to him either. Compared to your everyday injuries back when you were younger, this was nothing. That answer didn't help to settle his nerves though. Levi sat down on the edge of the bed, holding a half wet half dry towel tight in his hands. Without a word, he lifted it to your face and carefully wiped it down, cleaning it of any forest debris still remaining from the mission. You weren't the type to care for your appearance, so he had to for you. Neither of you speak for a long while. However, it wasn't your usual comfortable silence. You could feel the questions burning in your Captain's chest. After a few more minutes that extended on for what felt like years, you put a hand on his arm to move it aside. He almost appeared to snap back into reality, as if he had gotten too lost in thought to remember he was with someone else. Your hands raise once more. “Why were you upset earlier? What did I do wrong?” His outburst had stayed seared into your mind since you first got dismissed. No matter how deeply you thought over the mission, you couldn't see any flaws on your part.
“You still haven't figured it out? I- … Fine. We'll go through what happened together. It happened near the end of the mission. Do you remember that at least? Or did you hit your head, too?” You shook your head. You remember what happened clearly.
“You were surrounded by titans after breaking formation to save a rookie.” Your hands fumbled the signs slightly, fingers aching and arms exhausted. Levi noticed but didn't comment on it.
“And what did you do?” Your confusion only grew the more he explained. Why is he focusing so hard on this part? Is it because you broke formation as well?
“I came to help you.” Levi's face quickly contorted in pure, tired frustration.
“No. You jumped in front of a titan's fist and nearly got yourself killed.” He bit his bottom lip to stop it from shaking. For a moment, he had thought he lost you. Just like he lost everyone else. The only remaining person from his past got smacked from the air and thrown barreling to the ground right in front of him, and now could see no problem with what happened. You truly saw no value in your own safety, did you?
“You would've gotten hit if I hadn't. This was the better outcome.” Your words all but confirmed his deepest suspicions. Ones he's had since you both were children. In a fit of either anger or grief, or perhaps a mix of both, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you closer to him, both silencing you and hooking your full attention onto him.
“It wasn't! Fucking hell, do you really think your life is worth so little? That throwing it away to preserve mine is a “worthy cause”? Cause it isn't. It's stupid and reckless and spits on all the years I've spent keeping your ass alive and out of prison. Are you saying I spent all that effort on something worthless?! Why are you so insistent on being more of a servant to me than my friend?!” Levi was left panting, out of breath from his outburst. He was so wrapped up in his emotions, he forgot to breathe. He let his head hang low, hair brushing against your shirt. You remained silent, just watching your captain as he slowly regained his composure. Finally, he met your eyes once more, a twinge of guilt reflecting in his own. “... I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I know you don't know any other way of living. It isn’t your fault you're like this. Mostly.” It felt more like he was reminding himself more than comforting you. “I want to help you become your own person. I can't stand that stupid blank look in your eyes when I give you orders. It feels like me being your captain is only making it all worse.” Hesitantly, you pulled an arm free from his grasp and placed a hand on top of his head.
“I'm… S. Sor. Sorry.” Your voice was raspy and quiet and broken but fuck if it wasn't the sweetest sound Levi has heard all damn day. He could break down into tears right now if he hadn't had a sliver of his pride still remaining. He knew you meant it, too. You never said anything you didn't mean. It was both your best and worst quality.
“Good. It's a start. We can work on the rest later.” He pressed his forehead against yours, an action you two have shared since you were young, and finally stood up from your bed. “Rest up, Lieutenant. Be prepared to go right back into training the moment you're able to fight. My standards for your skills won't lower, so neither should yours. I'll see you in the morning.”