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this is not a relationship (stop telling people that!!!) by Renwritesanime
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
13 Sep 2026
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Summary
A pair of hilariously tiny hands slam down onto the desk in front of Dazai. The impact is underwhelming, at best. A chihuahua stomping its little paws would make more of a scene.
“Get on with it already. I don’t appreciate being made to sit here whilst you eye-fuck us, Mori.”
The source of the commotion is Nakahara Chuuya. Twenty-two years old. Hobbit-sized. Dresses like he’s perpetually ready for Panic! at the Disco to drop last minute concert tickets.
And, unfortunately for Dazai, this jumped-up munchkin is his partner.
Did he mention he loathes him?
He feels this has not been adequately communicated.
L-o-a-t-h-e-s.
Mori sighs, but it sounds more like a moan. The guy is deeply, profoundly disturbing.
Dazai simply refuses to unpack that.
“You’re being sent to Yokohama National University. There’s a new synthetic drug circulating there, very popular with the students.”
Ah. Drugs. Classic.
///OR: 21 Jump Street, but Soukoku, and therefore very gay.