Work Text:
[Ilya Rozanov stands at the entrance to the tunnel after a practice. He holds his fist up and greets each player as they walk past him.]
Ilya: I love you, I love you, I love you. [Troy Barrett walks past.] You are okay, I guess. I love you, I love you, I love you. [Shane Hollander is last in line, and Ilya's smile is so wide, the camera can clearly see most of his teeth.]
[Shane grins as he bumps Ilya's fist.]
Shane: What about me? Do you love me, too?
[Ilya shrugs, but his smile remains as his eyes look over Shane's face.]
Ilya: As teammates go, you are alright.
Shane: Teammates. Right.
Ilya: Let's go win Ottawa a Cup, yes?
Shane: Fuck yes. Let's do it.
[The shot continues to show them for a moment before Shane moves into the tunnel, the footage cutting just before Ilya turns his back to the camera.]
@centaurshockey Join us tomorrow night for the home opener of the 2021-2022 season against Toronto!
Posted October 13th 11:20 AM
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@increasingodds I haven't been this excited about hockey in a long time.
@blacknred I still can't believe we managed to snag Shane fucking Hollander 😭
@davidwhite1234 Can we stop with these distractions and get back to hockey please?
@zambonisrevenge @davidwhite1234 If you knew anything about him, you'd know no one wants to just play hockey more than Shane Hollander, so I'm pretty sure we'll be fine.
@hockeywhore They're totally married, right? Like there's no way they didn't get married this summer.
@censfan @hockeywhore IDK I'm pretty skeptical this is going to last. And when it eventually blows up, I just hope the team doesn't suffer because of it.
[Two men in suits sit behind a sports desk in the Canadian Tire Centre. The arena behind them is full as players begin to circle on the ice for warmups.]
Johnny: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Canadian Tire Centre for the home opener of the Ottawa Centaurs. I'm Johnny Bernard.
Martin: And I'm Martin Thomas. We're glad you're here with us for what appears is already shaping up to be interesting evening.
Johnny: Yes, it's been a wild few months in the hockey world with the outing of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov and then Shane Hollander signing with Ottawa. And here tonight, the players took to the ice a few moments ago, and it appears Ilya Rozanov is wearing a jersey that says 'Hollander' on the back.
Martin: He was also announced as Ilya Hollander. There's been no comment or announcement from the team regarding the name and there doesn't seem to be anyone else who's name is different, so we're not really sure what's going on with that.
Johnny: Is Rozanov just showing support? Did they get married? Was he adopted? We're really in the dark here.
Martin: We really are, and I can't imagine the League will be thrilled about this however it shakes out.
Johnny: Maybe not, but from the sound of the crowd, I don't think they're going to have much of a choice if they want to keep drawing these kinds of crowds here.
Martin: So true, Johnny. Honestly, I'm just thrilled to see these two on the same team.
Johnny: You and everyone else. They're going to absolutely dominate on the power play.
Martin: That might get a little confusing having them both out there at the same time. We'll have to figure out a way to tell them apart from all the way up here.
Johnny: I think their jersey numbers might be a good place to start.
Martin: This is why they pay you the big bucks, Johnny.
Johnny: Alright, here we go. First power play of the game, and Ottawa wins the face off. Hollander drops it with Barrett who's going wide, and he's going to play it down into the corner. Hollander is up high and he passes it to Hollander. He's skating it in front, with Dykstra near the net. Hollander passes it back to Hollander, he's going in and one more pass back to Hollander and he's going for it—GOAL for Shane Hollander!
[The crowd explodes so much the announcers can barely be heard as Shane lifts his hands in triumph, skating towards Ilya who places a hand on Shane's helmet, as they knock their heads gently into each other with wide smiles. Ilya kisses Shane's cheek and then pushes him away to celebrate with the rest of the team.]
Martin: Wow, that was a lot of Hollanders!
Johnny: It truly was, Marty. Absolutely incredible. I'm not sure this league is ready for them in any way shape or form, but here they are. What a statement they make!
Martin: Here they are, indeed.
[Shane and Ilya sit at a postgame press conference with Coach Wiebe. Both are smiling, their hands hidden under the table, as the room erupts in questions.]
Reporter: Ilya, you wore a jersey tonight with the name Hollander on the back. Can you tell us why exactly?
[Ilya's head cocks to the side as he appears to think for a moment before he answers.]
Ilya: Did I? I can't recall.
[There's scattered laughter and the next journalist is called.]
Reporter: Is that your name now? Did you get married?
Ilya: I mean, what is a name, really?
[Shane can be heard snorting trying to hold back a laugh in the microphone as Ilya turns to grin at him.]
Reporter: You've been Rozanov you're entire career. Why make the change now? Surely there's a lot of people who will always refer to you by that name?
Ilya: I'm sure there are some who will always call me this. I don't mind so much. It is a name I have carried.
Reporter: Carried in the past tense? Was this a legal change?
Ilya: Legalities are such ugly things, I try not to involve myself with them. That's what lawyers are for.
Reporter: There were lawyers involved?
Ilya: Aren't there always in this league?
Reporter: What do you have to say to those who inevitably think this is just another instance in a long line of distractions from you and Shane? That you should be focusing on hockey instead of drawing more attention to your relationship?
[Ilya's face turns serious while Shane's grin grows wider as Ilya leans into the microphone, leveling the reporter with a stare that felt like it could stop the clock on the wall.]
Ilya: What I would say to them is that Shane and I have never been distracted from this game. We have given our hearts and minds and bodies to our teams for over a decade, and our records should speak for themselves. And to anyone who is still questioning our relationship, claiming we are distractions, I think they should ask themselves if it's really the hockey they care about or if they are just trying to silence queer people.
[He sits back and an almost deafening quiet settles around them, the only sound being the occasional camera shutter clicking as flash bulbs still light up the room.]
Reporter: Shane?
[Shane leans forward a bit, scratching at the back of his neck as he moves his body downward slightly so he'll be heard extremely clearly in the microphone. He visibly swallows before he speaks.]
Shane: What my husband said.
[The room erupts again and as they both wave their left hands toward the reporters, wedding bands clearly visible as they stand from their seats.]
Shane: That's all the questions we'll be taking for tonight, thank you for your time.
[Shane's hand is on Ilya's back as they leave, gently guiding him out of the room while Coach Wiebe tries to settle the crowd.]
Wiebe: You know if anyone wants to talk about the win tonight or how incredible our power play looked, I'm all ears.
[An image of Shane and Ilya on the ice. Their hands are joined, and Shane is laughing his face forward, pulling Ilya further away from the boards, while Ilya is facing away from the camera, the name 'Hollander' clearly displayed across his back.]
@ilyahollander81 Reporting for duty 🫡
Posted October 15th at 3:41 PM
***
@puck4life Ilya Rozanov Chaos Agent being joined by his husband Shane Hollander is my new favorite thing
@ilyahollander81 @puck4life *Hollander
@hollan0v OMG is that a direct parallel to the first press conference they did together after that game in 2012?
@lucahaas @hollan0v Actually, it was the 2011 All-Star game where they gave that press conference.
@b00dramzane @lucahaas our resident Ilya Rozanov Historian has spoken.
@ilyahollander81 @b00dramzane *Hollander
@wyatthayes @b00dramzane @lucahaas there's going to be another Hollander jersey out there on the ice soon after Shane and Ilya adopt him.
@evandykstra @wyatthayes that's what the lawyers are actually for.
@troybarretthockey I would take Shane's name, too.
@harrisdrover1995 @troybarretthockey babe, no one asked ❤️
@yunahollander never been easier to support both of our boys ❤️❤️
@davidhollander Text to speech. Text to speech. I'm such a proud dad of Ilya and Shane period send tweet.
@ilyahollander81 @davidhollander You tried so hard! Always proud to be your bisexual Russian son ❤️
@hockeywhore @censfan what was that you said about this blowing up? Seems pretty solid to me 🤷🏻♀️
@censfan @hockeywhore You can say whatever the fuck you want, but you can never convince me that Rozanov and Hollander are going to end well.
@realshanehollander @censfan *Hollander