Chapter Text
[Cue intro]
[ortni e intr rtni intr rtni-i-i-i-i-i]
[The intro shows Mitchell's character card, showing Mitchell from The Parent Trap.]
Intro Mitchell: Creepy ain't the word
[The intro shows Becky's character card, showing a clip of Becky standing around while her brother everyone (and I) hates and parents dance to the Happy Nappy Time show.]
Intro Mitchell: Sneaky ain't the creepy word
[The intro shows Templeton's character card, showing a clip of Tim Templeton pressing the button on a bust labeled "send the trio to politics"]
Intro Mitchell: Freaky sneak ain't sneak the creep word the creep
[And then the trio falls into a giant endless staircase well as the American Anthem blares.]
Intro Mitchell: And creep there's freaky creepy freak sneaky ain't the sneaky word the
BRIIIIIIIING
Mr. Garden: Right, ass class! On the count of three! One (cue stock image of a number one)! Two (cue Numberblock Three cosplaying as Two)-
[Cue stock image of a lie detector BEEEEP]
Mr. Garden: Oh no! Anyway,
[Cue shet that is just a disorted version of the "The Garden" theme song by Butch Hartman]
Janitor: (Spongebob The Musical Spongebob face) Hi, Foley (Mr. Garden's voice) class! (Dilbert's Alice's voice) I'VE GOT class AND (cue stock image of a gardener) the garden IN THE SAME BRAIN!
[The Janitor abuses the garden and massacres the rocks, but then he reveals a conveniently placed lady-pretending-to-be-a-Greek-Muse-Terpischore-engraved-rock]
LPTBAGMTER: (Hooty's voice) Password, please!
Janitor: (Bob the Tomato's face) Huh?
LPTBAGMTER: (Medic) YES
[Meanwhile, the Principal looks at two photos. And Novi's there.]
Fairy Novi right next to him: Corporate wants you to tell the difference between these two pictures.
[The first pictures is of MrBeast in one of his tacky thumbnails. The second one is of Stan in a devil suit labeled "He didn't give a crap" in Papyrus text complete with the text tutning into poorly mispelled Windings with a Papyrus skull next to it at the last second]
The Principal: They're (asdfguy voice) DEAD TO ME.
[Suddenly the lady impersonating Terpischore appears in the principal's office.]
Terpischore: (Hooty's voice) DELIVERY! *barfs a league of small dancing stinky blue rat puppets, scaring away Novi* COMPANY! HOORAY! Finally someone to listen to my stories!
Principal: Huh-
Terpischore: Okay, one time, a sparrow flew into my mouth, and then I-
Principal: (Invader Zim's voice) WHO ARE YOU?
Terpischore: It's your faithful pa-
Principal: WHO ARE YOU?
Terpischore: It's your faithful pal (suddenly sings disortedly) JOYJOYJOY reporting for duty!
Principal: I thought your name was (Terpischore's face also distortedly) Terpischoooore but- (Grim Reaper's voice) That didn't even look-
Terpischore: (With a painting of the Greek Muse Terpischore behind her) YEAH I KNOW
Terpischore: (As she leaves the room) I'm pretty good at getting stuck inside people's heads! HOOT HOOT
[Terpischore then slips out of sight... and a million glass crashing sounds are heard.]
[Cool Transition (tiny tm on top) to the main Trio of Mitchell TANNER NOT THE ADULT, Becky BUTTERS NOT WORDGIRL, and Templeton TEMPLETON NOT TIMOTHY as the VeggieTales style Impact Font Text from the infamous episode where Bob and Larry are on a safari displays for a half second, complete with buzzer.]
Templeton Templeton: (Plankton's voice) Goodbye, everyone. I'll see you all in therapy!
Becky: BULLSHET! You've never expressed interest in things Francais, yet (Jax's voice) Ma déception est immense et ma journée est fichue.
Mitchell: (Caine's voice) Passer la partie gnangnan, (Mitchell's voice) Temps' going to Paris for five days.
Templeton Templeton: (Plankton's voice) CORRECT! AND I WILL RULE THE WOR- *falls through a trap door*
Mitchell: (Becky's voice) ...I wonder what his French exchange student will be like?
Frenchleton Frenchleton: (French Pea voice) Hello, you are (Mabel's voice) TaurTaur, and soon we will put (Microwave Society Bren voice) Gatorade in your mouths and stick you in (Flain's voice) HOT LAVA SLIIII-
Frenchleton Frenchleton Subtitlfrenches: Hello [Bible group whose name cannot be said in this century anymore], you are pigs, and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens!
Becky: (freaking disappointed) BON, ramenons ce fichu camion dans ce fichu royaume, QU'ON EN FINISSE!
Frenchleton Frenchleton: Ah, yes, after you defeat we and (Kuni's voice) NOTHING, you will be our slaves and us our slippers slaves!
Frenchleton Frenchleton Subtitlfrenches: Ah, yes, after we defeat you, you will be our slaves and you will have to fetch us our [stock image of bunny slippers]s!
Mitchell: Are you done?
Frenchleton Frenchleton: Yes, and iron our trousers!
Frenchleton Frenchleton Subtitlfrenches: no ❤️ and I am a cucumber
Mitchell: (Sniper) Alrighty then!
[Immeidate cut to them opening the music room door]
Terpischore and everyone else: *singing Homestar Runner's cover of that one They Could Be Giants song*
Frenchleton: ...Zis is going to be easier than I thought.
[Terpischore cracks her neck as she turns towards the trio.]
Terpischore: (Mabel's face) HELLO!
Mitchell: Ayiyi! *as video thumbnails about how people want to murder Mabel for being a child fade into the screen* Maybe it's good you're leaving before music class.
Terpischore: (Mr. Garden's voice) Look, either you do this assignment or drastic action.
Mitchell: Does it involve a steak *a stock image of a steak appears* and some holy water *a stock image of holy water being splashed onto a steak appears*?
Terpischore: no
Mitchell: Does it involve (Matthews' voice) A PSYCHO!
Matthews: (from the back of the class, slightly higher pitched) A PSYCHO!
Terpischore: wot abauwt maeiy SHREEEEEDAAAAAAAAAA
Students: SHREEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAAA(SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)(SHREEEEEEE
*and also JonTron's bleeding ears are there*
DOOR SLAM'D!
Mitchell: Ayiyi! it's rude to get to class on time.
Frenchleton: no matter how hard we try. Ha! ...Where do French peas come from?
Mitchel: france
Frenclton: That's right!
Mifchell: OK, I'm inspired...to run away as quickly as possible.
*The trio runs off*
Terpischore: I HEARD ALL OF THAT! Geez! You never want to have any fun!
*cue Terpischore revengencing on them running off without telling her or without a hallpass or something like that by turning everyone into demonized hippies who don't know mythology by electrocuting them with the power of a Percy Jackson DVD*
Terpischore: (the one guy from tne one KND episode's voice) Who's a happy boy? Who's a happy boy?
Croydonia: GIRL GAMER!
Terpischore: (Fozzie's voice) I was talking to (Becky's voice) Bishop
Bishop: Like, yo, what is that? I got yo yo no idea, *he turns into a scene from the ghost episode where he says "yo"* yo.
Terpischore: I weep for the future.
Bishop: Crybaby.
Terpischore: All I know is, I taught me, and I turned out just fine, so shush *bonks Bishop with The Shusher with a notable Toys R Us sticker on it*
Croydonia: Wot's that feel like?
Terpischore: this is incredible! It's so real-.. hey... OHYEAHRIGHT!
Timecard: Three hours later
[Meanwhile, the trio. And we hear Terpischore still talking in the background, just muffled.]
Croydonia: (Stephanie Bethanie vouce) Like, pay attention.
Mitchell: Croydonia nice? Maybe something is up.
Becky: That's right!
Mitchell: oh.
Croydonia: *the ceiling is covered in "up"s* Made you look, made you lool ouy
Matthews: *pops out of a bush* (Bomby's voice) I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT! What a beautiful day to say osteoporosis.
...
Becky: How do I know this isn't the circus, the circus-
Matthews: BE QUIET AND WATCH THE FILM. *pokes back into the bush*
Mitchell: ..Bah, it's probably nothing.
[Cool Transition]
[Becky and Mitchell are in the lockers]
Becky: Mitchell, Templeton is not Templeton, Templeton is Mitchell!
[Spongebob trumpets as we see Templeton with Mitchell's head]
Mitchell: *Billy's scream from in the Billy & Mandy episode "Night of the Living Grim"* oh wait, that probably makes sense.
[Cut to them opening the door to Mr. Kadinsky's class. Everyone is making replicas of obscure either god-related or rock-related characters. And only one of them's a God Rock, and not even one of the Core Four.]
Mr. Kadinsky: (Mabel's face) HELLO!
Bishop: (Buttercup's voice) She's probably going to be the prettiest (Bishop's voice) tea cozy, yo!
Croydonia: For a GAME GRUMP like me
[They close the door]
Mitchell: (Chicken Little's voice) ..Who were we talking about?
Becky: Hey, where's Templeton?
[HORROR MOVIE TYPE STING... as we cut to Frenchleton standing suspiciously behind them with his back suspiciously facing them]
Mitchell: (Scrooge McDuck's voice) AH! NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM CREEPY CHILDREN (Kristen Shaal's voice) BEHIND YOU!
Becky: (Mandy's voice) Let's get out of here!
[Frenchleton.. wait, he's already turned in front of us while we were talking? DANG IT!]
Mitchell and Becky: ...Ohhhh (with Flain and Rokit's faces respectively) SCHNIXEL!
Frenchleton: That is hilarious! Let me point something out to you, (Mr. Stubborn's voice) CHEAP pickle. We have do not a wall! You do have a elderberry wall! We have a GOD ROCK!
Frencleton Frenltitles: Spagetti MacTeddy Come Join Us Something Deady
Mitchell: (now in a stock image pickle costume) We do not! Your father smells of banana football.
Frencleton: I AM OFFENDED!
Frencleton frencltitles: uhhhhhh
Tyson: What's he saying? I don't speak (Bob the Tomato face) It's The French Peas!
Bishop: I think he said "go!"
[They forcibly chase after him to worship the God Rock from earlier that now has a name]
Matthews: (Bill Cipher's voice) YELLOW?
Mitchell: (Mickey Mouse's voice) Oh, Boy. It's Matthews Matthews. Go on. Sing a song about (Larry The Cucumber's voice) it's beautiful.
[..................]
Matthews: (President Business's voice) What a bunch of hippy... dippy... baloney.
[...............................................]
Matthews: (Matthews' voice) Didn't work on me! (Plankton's voice) Well, I'll see you all in 🎵CLEEEVELAAAND!!!🎵
[While Matthews is doing his dance in the background to a looped version of the Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video with a repeatedly reversed and unreversed and sped up version of his skipping forming a rave dance thing while Becky and Mitchell talk about him behind their backs but for a good reason this time.]
Mitchell: (Numbuh 1's voice) Cleveland... (Mitchell's voice) Untouchable!
Becky: (Pinkie Pie's voice) Et à cause du jus de fruit, il n'a plus la pêche et il est tombé dans les pommes!
Mitchell: Will it involve Cleveland and some holy steak?
Becky: (French Pea voice) Non. Be quiet and watch the film.
Mitchell: (Larry The Cucumber's voice) Does it have it's beautiful in it?
Becky: Non. I lied.
Mitchell: shet. Matthews!
Matthews: HM-YEEEEE
Mitchell: (Croydonia's voice) Join us, won't you?
Matthews: (Mitchell's voice) Will it involve steak-
Becky: (in the raspy voice you'd only hear in the Mitchel Jr episode) SHUT UP!!!
Matthews: Will it-
Becky: (in the raspy voice you'd only hear in the Mitchel Jr episode) SHUT UP!!! (regular voice) You can't tell, can you?
[...]
Matthews: (Daria's voice) 50.
Becky: (Daria's Mom's voice) 25 dollars.
Matthews: Deal. (Larry the Lobster's voice) NOW WHAT!?
Becky: Nous ne manquons pas d'air, bouclez-la Pas même un pou!!
Mitchell: Uh...
Becky: I DON'T KNOW.
Timecard: Meanwhile.
[Falcon... PAWWWWWWNCH Mr. Balding's door open, revealing the Delightful Chilrren From The Mansion Over There]
DCFTMOT: (Billy's voice) Could you pass the mayonaise?
[beep]
[THE DOOR IS DESTROYED BY... Mandy.]
Mandy: *walks out of the screen* That's it, I'm out of here.
[And then Matthews breaks down the black void which is also a door.]
Matthews: (Caboose's voice) Hey Felix! I HATE BABIES!!!!!!!
Mr. Balding: Did you defeat the nice old lady yet?
The trio: uhhhh
Matthews: A song! NICKI MINAJ!
Becky: NO!
Mitchell: Too early.
[Aw crap, the... wait, the God Rock is made out of God Rocks? And also there is Magica Despell making endless rainbow handkerchiefs, an amusement park mascot repeatedly bothering Numbuh One, freestyle Frisbee guys, the Mix Festival Mixels from Mixels, and Loud Howard on the God Rock. They're all either squatting or hired to make things less cult-y and more God Rock cult-y.]
Loud Howard: CAN WE GO NOW?
Mr. Balding: It's worse than I thought. (Abercrombie's voice) I might go home early! But I won't.
Becky: Oh, that's good.
Mitchell: What's the problem?
Mr. Balding: Hooty. Wait, no. Terpischore. *looks through his book which mostly have its pages replaced with Alex Hirsch characters... only two of which are actually his (him and him cheating on his own impossipuzzle) and the rest are either Bill Cipher bootlegs like Pyramid Steve and Terpischore and Greek Muse Terpischore and then Billy & Mandy's own Eris. And a picture of Ross something from Billy & Mandy labeled "TOTALLY ACCURATE THOR"* Well would you look at that!