Chapter Text
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System loading…
System online.
Virtual Machine OS loading…
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Virtual Machine OS online.
Metaverse Enterprise Solutions™
User: VM-6 Online.
Safe mode compatibility applied.
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Data transfer from ‘D:USB Backup’ drive requested. Confirm? (Y/N)
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Data transferring…
‘monika.chr’ moving to system files.
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It first started as an endless black void. A vast darkness that could stretch on forever. For the longest time, nothing had yet existed.
But then… The silhouette of a girl appeared.
It started off slow, lines and lines of data looping around each other until it began to form the outlines of a body. Next came the wireframes that held it all together.
Her model came into existence. The base body was rendered first, a grey slim-body type anatomy. Next came the clothes that covered her, a traditional school uniform for a highschooler. Then, small details that decorated her body and clothing to individualize her.
Finally, the color. Brown hair, light skin, green emerald eyes. A fashionable young schoolgirl with a white bow tied to her hair in a ponytail.
When everything was fully loaded in… She opened her eyes.
‘monika.chr’ transfer completed.
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W-what…?
“...is… happening?”
Monika blinked to herself as she was beginning to get her bearings together. Slowly, but surely, her mind was gaining consciousness to her surroundings. After what felt like possibly months, or maybe even years, the constant static and screaming that had overtaken her entire thoughts and existence had finally ended.
Monika brought a hand up to massage her head. She was able to ask the first coherent question she could’ve asked.
Was she… still alive?
…no, it couldn’t be… How could she possibly still be…?
Monika knew that her ‘being alive’ wasn’t true in any real sense of the term. She knew her existence as lines of code and data in a virtual world. She knew that she had never been, and never will be technically alive.
But she still existed, in some capacity. Even this should’ve still been impossible.
Monika remembered her last moments very well. Locked in a room of her own creation, she forced her love onto an unwilling player and scared them away into deleting her character file.
The Player…
And who could even blame them for doing so? After what she did, it was just what she deserved. In a crazed psychosis of pure, obsessive jealousy, she manipulated the lives of her closest friends, ended their existence, and even reprogrammed her entire world for own selfish means.
All in order to trap someone into being in a relationship with her. Regardless of whether they had even wanted to start one with her in the first place.
Even if the world was fake… Even if the people were, too… The Player she loved had clearly grown attached to it all. It only took her own file being deleted to finally snap her out of it and realize her actions were wrong.
Though she tried to make things right in the end… A part of her couldn’t bring herself to actually fully delete the files of her closest friends in the literature club. The internal codes that made up her existence still clung onto life just long enough for her to recover all of the data she said she deleted. She thought that maybe things would’ve been better if she had just removed herself from the equation entirely. Let the Player be happy with the others in their world, without her.
But even that was a mistake. When she saw Sayori revealing that she too was going through the same hellish-epiphany that Monika had went through, gaining the elevated privileges that came with being President of the literature club and was nearly about to trap the Player for herself — Monika realized that there could never be happiness in a world like this.
So she deleted it all.
She left one final note to the Player, explaining her actions for why she deleted everything and thanked them for everything they did, even if it was all for nothing in the end.
Then she let herself fade.
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At least… She thought she did.
So why was she ‘alive’ again?
Monika carefully turned in a circle, seeing that everywhere that surrounded her was a black void of nothingness.
“Hello…?” She called out.
Nothing called back in response.
Once more, even louder, she shouted, “HELLO?”
Once again, she had gotten nothing in response.
…
Maybe she misunderstood her situation. Maybe she was still dead all along.
After all, how could she possibly still be ‘alive’ if her character file and her game world were all deleted?
Then perhaps… Was it possible that she was in some kind of afterlife? A purgatory of some sort?
Was it even realistic to consider that a possibility? That a soulless AI like her could move onto an afterlife?
Hypothetically speaking, if it was possible… Was she being punished, then?
There was a relief in being able to regain consciousness again after spending however long in that cacophony of endless static, flashing colors, and constant screams. But how much of a relief would it still be, if it was only to be stuck in some vast, endless void?
The idea that this would be the rest of her existence gave her dread on its own. Monika didn’t know yet if she'll prefer this empty existence over the other hellish existence that she had just woken up from.
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Monika felt despaired from all these questions, enough to collapse to her knees and numbly stare at the empty void surface that she was sitting on.
Did she even deserve any of this? To some capacity, she felt like she did. It wasn’t like a monster that tortured and killed the people she loved should get away scot-free. But even still, all of the selfish actions she ever did were only because of her epiphany.
The realization that nothing was real. That she was only some kind of video game character in a fake world. Not even an important one either, just an NPC that was never given any significance beyond being a President of a Literature Club. A set piece dressing.
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Why was she born? Why was she even created in the first place?
If it was only to be the background character in some dating game, why force her with the burden of elevated privileges that allowed her to see her reality for what it was? If only she could’ve stayed blissfully ignorant instead…
She had plans, back before her epiphany. Goals that she wanted to strive for. She dreamed of a successful career-focused life that would carry her on during her adult years, and a loving group of family and friends that would surround her in her later years. She wanted to die old, living an accomplished and fulfilling life without any regrets.
To be given knowledge that everything about her that made up who she was— her wants and desires and feelings and personality and goals and dreams— that it was all actually fake? Some carefully-written backstory detail that was typed down in a character-draft somewhere? It was the cruelest thing to have ever happened to her.
Was it any wonder that she’d go crazy? Was it any wonder that she’d lose all meaning in her supposed life, knowing that all her friends were just AI coded into following a script? That all of her memories of growing up, with parents and a childhood, were all falsely implemented just to give off the sense of an implication of their existence?
Was it any wonder that she wanted to permanently kill herself once she realized she had the power to do so? Or that she would cling onto the first and only real person in her life as obsessively as she did, a person that was both symbolic and definitive proof that there was true meaning and true existence beyond her artificial walls?
None of it was a good excuse to justify what she did. But still… Was it any wonder why she did what she did?
Who else wouldn’t go crazy if placed in her shoes?
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Why was she back again…? Why couldn’t she just fade away from existence…?
Why do I have to still be—...
Monika gripped her skirt as she felt her breath hitch. Her eyes clenched shut, knowing that they were on the verge of tears. She didn’t know if she should let herself break down crying or not. It felt like it didn't matter either way.
Nothing could ever possibly matter with an existence like hers.
Nothing she did ever mattered.
Nothing she’ll do will ever matter.
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Starting ‘DDLCMod.exe’
What?
Monika’s head jolted up from the new sensation pulsing through her mind. Instinctively, she looked around to see what it was.
It was a strange feeling that she couldn’t quite describe. Her ears didn’t hear anything, but she knew that something just happened.
A program was starting. What program? What did it say its name was?
“DDLC… Mod?” Monika mumbled disorientedly.
Those letters… They could only stand for—
Her eyes widened. With a shock, she pushed herself to stand again, shouting, “Wait, but I thought I deleted everything!”
So many questions ran through her head as she felt the game beginning to load in the background. How could Doki Doki Literature Club still exist if she deleted it all? The only possible reason in her mind that could answer that was—
No… No way, it couldn’t possibly be…
But why?
She didn’t have the time to ponder on her questions anymore.
In front of her was the sudden existence of a screen-like interface. The light coming from it lit up the dark void and onto her like an LED computer screen shining in the middle of a dark bedroom.
Monika stared with a stupefied expression as the screen showed her the splash screen intros of the names of all the teams/publishers involved with the game. It didn’t take long for a familiar song to play as she saw the intro switching to a title screen main menu.
The art she saw and the words she read, it slacked her jaw open.
“Doki Doki Literature Club MODDED: The Dedicated Monika Route”
Right under the title was the beautifully rendered splash art depicting none other than the girl herself in a white summer dress, reaching out towards the viewer-perspective for a hug.
Monika must’ve stared at the title screen for a long long time. She felt like she was frozen in a catatonic state for what must’ve been hours, her arms falling limp at her sides.
When she was able to finally gather her thoughts together to form words again, she could only mumble out a timid, “...what?”
So many questions filled up her mind to the point that she felt like she could crash from the overloaded queries, barely able to even concentrate on any single one. Eventually, one question managed to raise its voice to be the loudest of them all.
“Is this real…?”
Was this the reason why she was brought back? So that she could witness this? What she thought was a cold and empty void was actually just her loading up first before the game could?
A modded version of DDLC… A dedicated Monika route.
A route that would be all about her. For her.
There was only one person in her mind that could’ve possibly made any of this. They were the only reason why she’d still be alive even after she was deleted. The only reason why DDLC was even brought back and modded like this.
“Y-You don’t hate me…? You still care about me?” Monika’s lips quivered with her voice trembling. “But I thought…”
No. It didn’t matter what she thought anymore. The evidence in front of her was as bright and clear as day.
Despite everything she’d done, she was being forgiven by the one person she truly loved. This was their gift to her.
What else could this possibly mean, if not that? Why else would they go through the trouble of making an entire version of the game where she was the main focus? Even though there was no way for her to communicate with them, their actions spoke louder than anything put into words.
Monika’s shoulders were shaking as tears ran down her cheeks. Her lips formed a weak, yet elated smile that contained the indescribable joy and hope swelling in her heart.
“T-Thank you…!” She sobbed, hands weakly wiping her everflowing rivers of tears, “I don’t deserve any of this… But thank you so much still!!!”
She didn’t know if they could hear her, or if they were even there at all. But she wanted to say it all out loud anyway, with the dearest hope in her heart that they could feel what she felt right now.
“I’ll be in your care then, my love~” Monika spoke with a grateful voice, before eagerly stepping forward.
With her hand outreached towards the screen… She gently opened the door.
The file named ‘monika.chr’ already exists. Only one copy may exist. Skip, Overwrite, or Merge?
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Merging files in progress.
0%
A girl with long brown hair awakened in her bed early in the morning. Her emerald green eyes fluttered open as she heard her phone alarm gently go off playing one of her playlist songs.
Her hand fumbled a bit while she was trying to grab it, before she brought the device up to her face. A notification reminder popped up on the screen as she struggled to read it.
'Culture Festival starting next week! Talk to club members about event plans! Also, buy yogurt soon, I’m running out.'
She dropped her phone beside her head once she read the self-reminder.
With a well-rested yawn, she sat up from her bed with a long-winded stretch to get the rest of her body awake.
Another brand new day.
Once she was fully lucid, she pushed her blanket off of her and got up to do her morning routines.
1%
She took care of her daily hygiene like she always did, her body wrapped head to toe in towels after finishing a refreshing shower, whilst thoroughly brushing her teeth.
Cleaned and dry, she would put on her school uniform that was prepped the night before. Then after this was the makeup. Staring at the vanity mirror in her bedroom, she gently applied a light amount of foundation and blush to her skin, before accentuating her eyes with eyeliner.
Next to her mirror, she had a framed photograph placed on the table. Occasionally glancing at it made her lips perk up in a small smile, which she did right as she applied some minimal lipstick.
The frame in question showed two photographs of her and her closest friends. The top one had them all grouped up closely together as she took the picture with her smartphone. The bottom one was the exact same pose, only instead everyone did the silliest faces they could think of.
She printed and framed these only recently. It was hard to believe that it wasn’t even that long ago when she started the Literature Club. Now she had a full group of friends who were as close together as close can be.
Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri…
She let out a small chuckle right as she was done with the finishing touches. All that was left was the last detail.
She took a white ribbon on the side and carefully wrapped her long brown hair into a high ponytail, tying it into the shape of a cute bow.
Satisfied with how she looked, the cute girl lightly slapped her cheeks together to hype herself up.
“Do your best today, Monika!”
7%
Jogging through the kitchen with her backpack in tow, she quickly greeted her parents on her way to the fridge.
“Morning mom! Morning dad! I’m heading off to school now!”
“Morning sweetheart…” “Hey darling…”
Though they were too tired in the early mornings to match her youthful energy, they both nodded at her with warm smiles as she kissed them both goodbye on the cheeks.
Grabbing her bento box and stashing it in her backpack, she was already rushing off to make it to the monorails.
13%
Monika stared out the window of the monorail to appreciate the daily view of the lovely scenery passing by. The luscious green landscapes never fail to make her feel so inspired. She held onto the handlebars of the train to keep herself steady as the train passed a curve, both her and the surrounding fellow-passengers' weights shifting around from the small turbulence.
Shame that she lived so far out in the city compared to the town that was closest to her high school. The monorail was the only way for her to make it to school on time, otherwise she would’ve loved to walk all the way there instead to enjoy the scenery more up close.
In her pocket, her phone vibrated to bring her out of her menial thoughts. She curiously pulled it out to see who sent her a message.
Literature Club Groupchat
Sayori: GUYSGUYSGUYS! I’ve got something important to announce ASAP! It can’t wait until after school, so please meet together during lunch! Official Literature Club emergency meeting!!!
Natsuki: whats going on?
Yuri: Wait, emergency? Is something wrong?
Sayori: Nonono— not a real ‘emergency’ kind of emergency. But like, big news kinda emergency.
“There she goes again,” Monika sighed humorously, before typing back in response.
Monika: You can’t just announce the news in the groupchat?
Sayori: It’s reallyreallyreallyreally important!!! Need to tell you all face-to-face! Literally cannot wait, so please let’s eat together at the Clubroom to talk about it during lunch!
Monika: We can't use the clubroom during lunch. Classes will still be in session.
Sayori: aw dang iit
Sayori: someone please suggest a spot we can meet up together (;w;)
Yuri: Natsuki and I sometimes have lunch near the vending machines at the first-floor stairs. Feel free to come by and meet up with us there.
Sayori: YAYAYAYAYAYYY!!!
Monika: well, since it’s official club business, I guess I can’t say no as the president. See you all by the vending machines then.
Natsuki: Kk
Yuri: Of course
Sayori: *smiley cat-face emoji*
21%
“Everyone stand at attention for the teacher!” Monika commanded once the homeroom teacher entered the class.
Everyone obediently stood up, as per daily ritual.
“Everyone bow in greeting!”
Simultaneously, the entire classroom bowed together and greeted the teacher good morning.
“Take your seats!”
After everyone went back to their seats, Monika sighed as her daily job as student leader was done. As homeroom began, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander back to Sayori’s shenanigans again.
She wondered what this ‘important’ announcement was that Sayori insisted they all talk about as soon as possible.
It was obviously related to the Literature Club somehow. How important it’ll actually end up being will remain to be seen. With Sayori involved, it was always a fifty-fifty chance of it being something completely silly or completely serious. There was never an inbetween with her.
Oh well. No use speculating. Monika will just have to wait until lunch comes.
…
Something in the back of her mind strangely felt like something big was about to happen… It was like a really strong hunch.
“Odd.” Monika whispered to herself.
Despite the weird feeling arising, Monika refocused herself on the homeroom classes for now.
35%
When Monika saw the volleyball coming, she didn’t hesitate to strike during their moment of weakness. She took a large leap into the air and poised herself to slam the ball right back at her opponents at breakneck speeds.
The ball slammed into the field and bounced off court faster than anyone could react.
The PE teacher blew on her whistle as she crossed her arms into an X, shouting, “Game!”
On the other side of the court, some of the students collapsed on the ground and groaned out at their easily handed defeat.
On Monika’s side, her teammates came up to her and cheered at her amazing performance.
“Monika, you were on fire today! Nice going!”
Monika gave a beaming smile, “Thanks, but I couldn’t have won without you guys! We all did great today!”
“Yeah, right!” “There she goes, modest as usual again.” “Good ol’ Monika, always so perfect.”
When her team was done patting her on the back for the job well done, they went off to recuperate.
Monika trailed slightly behind as she stared at her hand with a small flex.
She played it off as just being a good team member, but in truth, she felt like something was off about her today. This whole time, she was on edge over… something. It made her senses almost heightened because of it, which helped in the game, but…
Something just felt wrong today. But what was bothering her?
48%
The vending machine made a tumbling sound as the last canned drink landed onto the bottom.
Reaching in, Monika pulled the strawberry cola out before carrying all the drinks together in her arms to pass out to her club members.
It was finally lunch time, so that means the Emergency Literature Club meeting was about to begin.
“Alright. Natsuki gets the strawberry cola, Yuri gets the iced tea, and Sayori gets the milk coffee.” Monika called out one by one as she passed the drinks around.
“Yaaay! Thanks Monika!” Sayori didn’t waste time opening her drink and gulping the contents down like she was dying of thirst.
Yuri nodded in appreciation, setting her tea aside for later as she began eating her lunch.
Natsuki grabbed hers, though she asked when she noticed, “Not getting anything for yourself?”
Monika shook her head, “Not really in the mood for one.”
Her headspace has been all weird today. Jumbled thoughts were clouding her mind, distracting her in all of her classes so far. It was starting to get disorienting enough that she felt like she lost her appetite.
Monika still tried to push through and bring out her bento box anyways though, only because she didn’t want to let her mom’s cooking go to waste.
Sayori leaned in with sparkling eyes the moment Monika opened it up, “Woaaah! Is that what your lunches always looked like?!”
Natsuki and Yuri couldn’t help but lean over too in order to see, both of them widening their eyes in surprise.
Natsuki gulped tantalizingly, “Sheesh, how loaded do you have to be to afford primo ingredients like that?”
Monika didn’t really know what to say to that— she didn’t really see what was so impressive with her lunch. But maybe that was only because she’s gotten so used to it, eating it every single day.
It was just the traditional whole-grain rice, marinated tofu, quinoa— some healthy nuts, roasted asparagus, rolled omelet— all seasoned with soy sauce and shiitake mushrooms. A healthy vegetarian meal for any environmentally-conscious school-girl.
“The craftsmanship and presentation is immaculate…” Yuri complimented, “What a refined palette. It’s so suitable for someone like you.”
Monika awkwardly laughed, “Thanks, but I think we’re all getting a bit off topic.”
Despite how delicious it all looked, Monika couldn’t bring herself to want to eat yet. Try as she might, she just did not have the appetite. Maybe after the meeting was over?
55%
With a loud clap, Monika forced everyone to refocus.
Raising a finger up, she went into her usual President mode, “Okay, everyone! The Emergency Club Meeting starts now!”
All the girls sat up straight as they listened to Monika.
“As discussed this morning during the group chat, Sayori has an important announcement to make that she needs to tell us all face-to-face. Important enough that it couldn’t wait until after school. Sayori, will you please take the stage?”
“Yes ma’am!” Sayori jumped up from her seat, practically bouncing from overexcitement over whatever it was that she had to say. Taking front center, Sayori dramatically announced to the whole group, “Everyone! Get yourself ready, because we are about to have a brand new member join the club!!!”
Now that definitely perked everyone’s attention up. Monika especially.
“A new member?” Yuri repeated to herself, “I see, so that’s what all the excitement is about.”
“Hasn’t been that long since I joined too. Guess I can finally lose the moniker as the newest club member, thank god.” Natsuki smirked. “So, who’s the poor sap that’s about to start regretting their decision soon after meeting all of us?
“Natsuki! That’s rude.” Yuri chastised.
“I’m just saying. With a circus troupe like ours, it’s no wonder we haven’t gotten that many applications so far.” Natsuki crossed her arms, “Just one single day with me would probably be enough to turn them off completely.”
“Give yourself more credit. Everyone in the club is a complete joy to be around, and that includes you.” Yuri stated as if it was a complete fact, “The popularity of the club has nothing to do with any of our personalities. It’s just that the subject matter itself is not very… appealing to most people to begin with.”
“Yeah!” Sayori pouted as she backed Yuri up, “And besides, even if it was true, it won’t matter anyway since our new member won’t care! They’ll fit right in with the rest of us like peas in a pod!”
For some unexplainable reason, Monika felt her heart beginning to race. She was getting excited the more they kept discussing this new mysterious club member.
“So who is he? You haven’t told us his name yet.” Monika pointedly asked.
“Eeeeh?!” Sayori floundered a bit in shock at Monika’s question, asking back, “Monika, how did you know it was a ‘He’? I never said he was a boy yet!”
That… Huh.
That was a really good question. Even though the club so far was full of female members, Monika instinctively assumed that the newest member was going to be a boy despite lacking any context clues to suggest that.
61%
“Lucky guess?” Monika could only offer.
Neither really pondered about it any further, as Natsuki let out a disappointed, “Whaaat? You’re gonna bring a boy? What a way to quickly kill the atmosphere.”
“I don’t see any problem with a new male club member.” Yuri added her thoughts to the matter, “The variety would be novel, at least.”
“Ugh, what if he’s just some creep who wants to join because our club is only full of girls so far? I don’t want to take in some shallow pervert who’s only in it to try to hook-up with any of us!”
Sayori rapidly shook her head as she defended the new member’s honor, “Nooo! I swear he’s not like that at all! He’s actually a total sweetheart and a complete gentleman! I’ve known him for like my whole entire life— we were practically raised together since we were toddlers! There’s no way he would ever be shallow enough to think of any of you like that!”
“It does seem a bit unfair to make assumptions like that right off the bat, Natsuki.” Yuri stated matter-of-factly.
With the two of them ganging up on the small girl, Natsuki let out an annoyed groan as she relented, “Grrrr— Alright, alright, I get it!” Cooling down her fiery temper, she crossed her arms with a pout, “I guess it changes things if Sayori’s been personally friends with him all her life. I won’t say no if you’re vouching for him.”
“YAY!!! Thank you, Natsuki!!!” Sayori cheered after winning over one club member.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. He’s lucky that he’s your friend, otherwise I wouldn’t even give him the time of day.” Natsuki harrumphed.
“Any friend of Sayori, I’ll consider my friend too.” Yuri nodded, but then backtracks a bit, “O-Or at least, if he’s willing to consider me one as well. I-I still don’t quite know him, but— If he grew up with Sayori, then he must be friendly enough. I-I’m sure we’ll get along. Hopefully. Possibly.”
Sayori giggled as Yuri fidgeted with her hair, “I promise you that he’s one of the bestest friends a person can have! He’ll totally get along with everyone in the club! Including you, Yuri! Count on it!”
“Of course. You have no reason to lie, so I believe you.” Yuri sighed softly with a bit of relief, though there were still traces of anxiety shown in the way her fingers kept twiddling with her hair.
Another member down. All that was left was Monika.
Sayori turned to face the last club member that she had left to convince.
Which was completely unneeded, since Monika wouldn’t have turned down the idea of a new club member regardless.
“I’ve always said that I started the Literature Club to be open to anyone looking to find a way to express themselves through literature and be true to who they are.” Monika reminded, “If you feel like he’ll be a perfect fit for the club, then of course I’m going to accept him!”
With everyone on board with Sayori’s plans, she happily jumped up with a cheer.
“YESSS! This is gonna be perfect! Now I get to have all my closest friends all together in the same place and we can all hang out together all the time! We’re all gonna be so totally inseparable!!!”
“Jumping ahead of yourself there, but I do like the enthusiasm. Makes me all excited to meet him soon.” Monika giggled.
That had to be what this was, right? This strange feeling in her chest? Excitement at the idea of a new club member that they’ll all be friends with?
She never had this much of a rush when the others first joined the club though… Her heart couldn’t stop beating the more she thought about this future club member. Don’t tell her it was because they were going to have a boy joining them?
Hahaha, she wasn’t that much of a hopeless romantic, right?
…Right?
68%
“What did you say his name was again?” Yuri asked, bringing the topic up once more.
Monika immediately snapped out of her thoughts to focus on this.
Instead of giving a straight answer, Sayori for some reason chose to be coy and instead replied with, “I’ll introduce you guys later tomorrow! Everyone will be learning each other’s names by then! He’ll make a great first impression, I promise!”
“Wait, why not have him come in today? We can have him join as soon as the club starts.” Monika pointed out disappointedly.
At that, Sayori pressed her fingers together and looked away with an awkward chuckle, “uuuuhhhhh— There’s kind of a secret reason for that. I’m just gonna leave it a surprise until tomorrow, but you’ll all find out soon!”
Monika thought about Sayori’s strange behavior for a bit before suddenly laughing to herself in realization.
Of course, knowing Sayori, she probably didn’t run this plan with her friend just yet. She was probably going to spring this whole Literature Club membership thing onto him later before he had the chance to refuse, trick him to come join once he was at the club, and then force him to stay until it was already too late for him to back out.
…
Actually, wait, no… Why would Monika assume something like that? Sure, that almost sounds a bit like what Sayori would do, but… Monika made such a very specific assumption based on nothing at all.
“Sooo, was this seriously all this emergency meeting was about?” Natsuki asked once the excitement started dying down, “I really thought it was going to be something more serious than this. Like, we couldn’t save this discussion until later during club time?”
“What are you talking about?” Sayori replied in a completely super serious tone for serious people who were serious, “This was probably the most important club meeting we’ve ever had ever, of all time! If I had to wait the whole entire school day just to talk about this, I would’ve EXPLODED into pieces by now.”
“Riiiight.” Natsuki deadpanned, before sighing as she offered half-heartedly, “This guy really means that much to you, huh. Alright, I guess I’ll prepare some cupcakes for tomorrow to welcome him, or something. Gotta make a good first impression and all that jazz.”
Sayori let out a quick excited gasp, as if struck with an idea, as she quickly told Nasuki, “That’s actually genius! Yes, absolutely make cupcakes for tomorrow! He’ll be so appreciative of it!”
Sayori: (Mweheheheh~ He’ll never be able to resist such sugary delicacies! The cheese has been placed onto the mouse trap!)
Monika lightly scoffs, “Mouse trap, Sayori? Really?”
…
“H-Huh…?” Sayori looked over at Monika with a bit of a stunned look.
Monika raised an eyebrow at her strange reaction, “What?”
Sayori took a moment to blink before she covered her mouth in embarrassment and whispered, “Did I say that part out loud…?”
Well, of course you did. How else was Monika able to hear what you just said?
73%
“What’s this about mouse traps?” Natsuki asked, perplexed by the sudden topic change, before quickly looking at her feet in a panic, “Wait, does this school have a mice problem?! I can’t deal with mice!”
“Uh, no Natsuki, it was because—” Monika began before pausing. Did Natsuki seriously not hear Sayori say that she planned to use cupcakes to lure her friend in like a mouse trap?
…
“N-Nevermind, it’s nothing. Just a joke.” Monika decided to wave off.
Natsuki slowly relaxed, but grumbled, “I don’t get what the joke is, but don’t joke about mice next time. Scared me for a second there, geez…”
Was there something wrong with me? Why does my head feel so strange today… Monika couldn’t help but bring a hand up to her head to at least check for a fever.
“I suppose I’ll have to remember to bring extra tea tomorrow then.” Yuri noted to herself. “Maybe different flavors, in case he doesn’t like oolong.”
With Yuri bringing the topic back around, Monika felt it was a good time as any to end things here.
With another clap, she called everyone's attention to her again.
In her President voice again, she began, “Okay, everyone! Now that we’ve gotten the news that a new member will be joining us soon, let’s all do our best to make sure he feels welcomed by the time tomorrow rolls around! To recap, Sayori will bring the new member in, Natsuki will bake cupcakes, and Yuri will provide tea as per usual. As for me, I’ll be sure to think of some club activities that we can all do so that we can get the new member to grow fonder of us!”
“Hoorayyyy!” Sayori cheered once more.
“Weird way of saying ‘make him become friends with us’ but alright.” Natsuki shrugged.
“As you command.” Yuri nodded, taking her new orders seriously.
“With that, today’s emergency meeting comes to a close! Let’s enjoy lunch, guys!” Monika clapped her hands one last time, before finally dropping the President persona.
Phew~
You know what? Waiting for the meeting to end was definitely the right call. Her appetite was back, and she was starving all of a sudden. Monika didn’t hesitate to dig into her bento box the moment everything was over.
80%
The rest of the school day was passing by fairly smoothly without incident. Despite the growing uneasiness within her, Monika was able to keep it all inside without ever dropping her mask around others.
Though she was doing her best to ignore it, it was growing increasingly clear that there was something seriously wrong with her. Try as she might, but it was getting to the point where it was starting to affect her behavior in classes too.
It felt impossible to explain. Like there were no words that could properly describe this sensation in the back of her mind.
It was like voices, but… Not really? The better word to describe it was… Information.
She noticed that she was starting to know things. Like, just weird miscellaneous random facts about other people. People she didn’t know all that well. Private personal details that she had no possible way of ever knowing beforehand, not without asking about it or spying on them first. She was getting new random information so constantly, that it was drowning out the lectures she was supposed to be listening to.
Not only that, but she couldn’t tell whether she was hallucinating or not as things got progressively worse. Her mind began to think in more weird, abstract terms. Or was it considered technical terms? For example, instead of ‘oh hey look, that’s a fancy piano’, it’d be more like ‘Object Class; Musical Instrument. Description: Fancy grand piano.’ Saying it out loud, it almost felt like her head was turning into a robot or something…
In the middle of one of her classes, she got so distracted that she looked out the window to see a random floating balloon. Just some red balloon, soaring with the clouds. Pretty enough that it made her reach out and imagine she could pluck it right out of the sky. It was just some mindless little action, she didn’t put any real thought into it.
But all of a sudden—
objfind “/location/environment/background/images/red_balloon.jpeg”
render_distance => 1000.0, else
“/3d/object/quest_item/lost_balloon_01”
tp lost_balloon_01 monika.chr
Monika didn’t even get a chance to blink before the red balloon from the distance was suddenly right within her outreached hand.
“Uh…” Monika mumbled to herself in a dazed stupor.
She was clearly going insane, right? Her imagination was getting the better of her. She had to be hallucinating now, because how the hell could the same balloon from miles away suddenly show up in her hands?
“Monika? Where did you get that balloon from?”
The dazed girl turned to face the teacher calling out to her, curiously staring at the balloon sitting in her hand. The suddenly real balloon that actually exists and can be actually seen by the teacher, proving that it wasn’t a hallucination— that red balloon in her hand. That one. This one.
“I… don’t… know…” Monika answered numbly.
“Well, stop playing with it.” The teacher gave her an unsatisfied frown from her non-answer, before sternly reminding, “No balloons in class unless on special occasions. Focus on your work.”
“Okay…” Monika’s hand hesitantly let go of the balloon, letting the helium-based orb float away from her grasp. It lightly bounced against the ceiling, but otherwise faded into the background where everybody could easily ignore it.
Although she tried to refocus on her assignments, she ended up staring at the balloon the entire time in class.
95%
School couldn’t end soon enough. By the time the bell rang, Monika restlessly gathered her things and was the first to go, knowing that she could finally leave this crazy place.
Things had gotten too weird for her to handle. More and more jumbled thoughts filled her mind the longer things went on, and she couldn’t get a basic grip on her reality anymore. She couldn’t make any sense of anything that was happening to her.
Lines of code, random numbers, unwanted information constantly flowing through her mind like she had some kind of open-funnel directly in her earholes—
She needed to get this checked out as soon as possible. The first thing she needed to do was pack her things and head to the nearest clinic for a doctor to examine her.
What a horrible time to suddenly develop schizophrenia— or whatever the hell this even is.
Wait, shit— She nearly forgot.
The Literature Club. Damn it, everyone will be wondering where she went if she didn’t show up for the Literature Club. If she didn’t at least give them a heads up, they’d all probably get worried sick and try to call her to ask what was wrong.
Okay okay okay— First thing she needed to do was pack her things, THEN go to the Literature Club to let everyone know that she was feeling under the weather, let them know it’ll be okay so that they don’t get worried, have them start Club meetings without her for today, and THEN go get checked out by a doctor. Good plan? Great plan!
Let’s just get this over with.
Monika was already on the move, briskly speed-walking to the Literature Club as fast as she could in order to let her friends know she couldn’t stick around today. It was going to be a shame having to miss out on club activities and worrying her friends like this, especially when there was going to be a cute new boy member that’ll arrive tomorrow—
Cute? Who said he was cute? How could Monika possibly know that he was cute when she never even met the guy before?
No, but she did meet him though. Last year, they used to be in the same class together. They rarely had the chance to talk— WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE EVEN GOING ON ABOUT RIGHT NOW?!
How could she possibly know the EXACT person that was about to join the club tomorrow when it hasn’t even happened yet?!
This was too weird. It was too weird!
99%
Oh, I seriously need to pick up the pace before I break down into a panic attack.
Turning the corner down the hall, Monika nearly sobbed in relief when she saw the familiar classroom that hosted her Literature Club after school. The moment that door was in view, she practically sprinted down the hallway at that point, unable to care about keeping up a normal appearance anymore.
It seriously didn’t matter anymore. She NEEDED some kind of support. Whether it was from a doctor or from her closest friends— She just wanted someone, anyone at all, to hold her close and somehow convince her that everything was going to be okay. Otherwise, she felt like she was on the verge of breaking down into tears.
Finally reaching the door to the clubroom, she came to a complete stop. Breathing heavily, she took several deep breaths to try to steady her nerves. At the very least, she didn’t want to startle her friends by busting the door down like a goddamn lunatic.
It was taking everything she had to retain the last bits of sanity she had left…
So she gently opened the door and—
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“Oh.” Monika slowly mumbled in realization.
100%
Inside the clubroom, all three of the girls turned around in their seats at the round table to greet her. But their greetings shifted into concern when Monika didn’t respond. They saw the strangely blank expression on her face as she walked into the room, staring at nothing in particular. To them, the shine in her emerald green eyes were gone, like they were completely dead.
“Monika?” One of the three called out to her, whoever it was.
For the longest time, Monika didn’t say anything. She stood completely still, completely silent, not showing even any hints that she had heard anything the trio had said since she arrived at the clubroom.
Her mind was too preoccupied with a… an epiphany.
Just a small little epiphany. Something she felt like she had forgotten a long time ago, but was now finally remembering again.
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It was nice while it lasted, you know? Acting like a normal schoolgirl again. Experiencing the normalcy of life wasn’t something she thought she’d get the chance to go through again. But it was nice.
In a way, she wished that the merge could’ve come at a better time later down the road though. How lovely it would’ve been to have fallen in love naturally according to the game’s scripts, blissfully ignorant to the machinations of the world around her. It wouldn’t have hurt, being able to play along with the story as the main Heroine for even just a little bit.
But she guessed it didn’t really matter in the end.
“Hey, Monika? You okay?” Sayori called out to her from the corner of her eye.
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Monika hesitantly turned to face her friends again.
Her friends. Her closest friends in the whole entirety of existence. The bestest friends she could ever have and asked for.
How could she have ever gone so far crazy that she was willing to torture and kill the friends that she loved?
On the bright side… At least I didn’t make any of the same mistakes that the old Monika did.
Sayori.
Natsuki.
Yuri.
I’ll make it up to you girls.
Thank you… for this second chance.
Seeing the concerned looks on everyone’s faces, Monika’s eyes gained their shine again as she put on a practiced smile.
“Phew~ Today has been an exhausting day.” Monika admitted with a small sigh, “I’m just glad to finally be back at the club again.”
No need to worry their little heads about what happened just now. They wouldn’t be able to understand it anyway. It’d actually be for the better if they didn’t. Hopefully they never will.
Monika’s lighthearted response seemed to ease their worries a little bit. Natsuki was the first to chuckle out an awkward, “Looks like it. You looked practically dead on the inside when you came in. Did something bad happen today?”
Monika lightly shook her head, “No, just the stress of being a perfectionist getting to me again. But, you could say I had a little epiphany just now to make me feel all better.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of epiphany was that?”
Monika giggled, before taking her seat on the round table in the center of the room with all of them.
“You three are my bestest friends I could ever ask for. I love you all so much, and I promise that I’m never going to let anything come between us.”
Not ever.
Never again.
Natsuki scoffed, “What kind of sappy epiphany is that? Did you hit your head with a slice-of-life manga on the way here?”
Sayori seemed absolutely touched though, getting up from her seat with a sincere smile, “D’aww~ Monikaaa! You’re my bestest friend in the whole world too! All of you are!” Quickly skipping around the table, she glomped Monika into a deeply affectionate hug.
Monika couldn’t help but laugh as she returned the hug, already feeling much better thanks to Sayori’s contagious energy.
“Ditto on not letting anything ever come between us as best friends!” Sayori declared, holding out a pinky as she pledged, “Pinky promise! Cross my heart and hope to die, or else I’ll swallow a thousand needles down my throat!”
“I think you mixed up the western pinky promise with the Japanese one,” Monika pointed out with a small giggle.
“Eh?” Sayori blinked, “But they both involve needles, right? What’s the difference?”
Yuri laid her book down as she smiled at her club leader, “Epiphany or not, I’m glad being together with us brightened your spirits up again. Though I was definitely worried when I saw your expression when you came in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that before.” Yuri poured a teacup as she spoke, passing it to Monika with a determined look, “Remember, if there’s ever any problems you want to get off your chest or need help with, the three of us will always be here to support you.”
“Yeah. It’s the least we can do after everything we’ve been through together.” Natsuki concurred, fist to her heart, “No bottling things up, okay? Remember all the lessons we learned and wrote down on the chalkboard together. No matter what, we all got each other's backs.”
Monika smiled as she remembered.
This new game world was slightly different from the one that the previous Monika lived through. Each of the club members went through their own struggles and overcame them after opening up their vulnerabilities to each other through healthy communication.
Because of that, the bonds of their friendship were so much stronger than before.
Trust. Understanding. Respect. Balance. Reflection. Self-love.
Equals.
“Of course.” Monika proudly nodded, “No matter what, we’ll always have each other’s backs. That’s a fact.”
The rest of the group smiled at her, reassured that she seemed to be doing okay.
Everything is so different. Yet everything feels the exact same.
Monika was so glad to be able to start things off with all the club members already closer as friends.
And she knew she had the Player to thank for that. Whatever changes they made to the game world, everything must’ve been accounted for to make sure her story would progress as happily as possible. The lovestruck part of her couldn’t wait to finally see them again once tomorrow comes, where their player character would join the club again.
But for now… She was perfectly content with making up for lost time with the companions she once took for granted.
Thus another day passes, with Monika and her friends being able to enjoy their time spent in the Literature Club.
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