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Kakashi was a cold blooded killer. He could kill someone six different ways with a shiruken, and then think of a seventh way on the spot. His name struck fear into the hearts of enemies across the world. He could face any foe with depleted chakra reserves and still emerge victorious. He has committed unspeakable atrocities, convinced others to do the same, moved stealthily in the night doing deeds that look like accidents in the morning, turned himself inside out and back again for the sake of the village.
There was nothing he couldn’t do. Except maybe make it through one day of paperwork without feeling like he wanted to end it all.
He thumped his head on the wooden desk, the sound echoing throughout the office.
His officemate barely flinched at the sound, absorbed in a task of his own. He hadn’t wanted to join Kakashi, but an outside force greater than the two of them insisted he accompany him, and neither one of them could resist.
“I’m going to climb out this window. Until I get back, you’re the Hokage,” Kakashi said, looking down at Ningame.
Ningame looked up from the bowl of vegetables he was eating and leveled a stare so dry at Kakashi that he felt like he was back in the Suna. They stared at each other, two old tortoises unblinking until the door burst open and Gai rolled in.
“Good morning, rival!” he declared with a huge smile, bringing in the sun and his own set of sparkles with him.
Kakashi blinked at the noise, and he swore Ningame smirked at him before leaving in a puff of smoke. Losing to a tortoise. That was a new low.
Gai wheeled over to the side of Kakashi’s desk and kissed him on the cheek. Well, if that was his reward for losing, maybe it wasn’t so bad.
“How are you doing on this glorious day!” Gai asked, setting down a small basket on his desk.
“I am hoping that I’ve made a mistake on every single piece of paperwork and the mess is so bad they have to ask me to step down,” Kakashi grumbled, eyeing the package with interest.
“Rival, don’t be like that! Certainly it’s not that bad. Come, eat something. I packed us a delicious and nutritious lunch that is sure to invigorate your mind, renew your spirit, and restore your youth!”
“That’s quite the meal,” Kakashi said, watching Gai enthusiastically unpack the basket with amusement. “Don’t let Tsunade hear you declare that, she will probably kill you for the recipe,” Kakashi commented dryly, then smiled when Gai tipped his head back and laughed loudly.
“It’s important that you keep your strength up! The village needs their hokage in top working condition, and I need my rival to be strong if I am going to challenge him later!” Gai finished with a wink and a thumbs up.
“A challenge from you and running a village in the same day? I’m sure everyone would agree there’s one task I’m far better suited for than the other,” he said with a sigh, looking at the stack of paperwork that seemed to have doubled in size since he last looked at it. He distantly wished he still had his sharingan so he could check.
“There’s no one who has done more for this village, and certainly no one more deserving of the title than you, Rival. You’ve died for this village!” Gai said, eyes becoming watery with a mix of sadness and pride.
“You almost died, too,” Kakashi said, peering at him around a bite of salad.
“You almost died more times than me,” Gai said, indignantly.
“You almost died more recently than me,” Kakashi said, confident that he won that exchange.
“Now that’s just not true, rival. Tsunade struck with lethal intent when you joked about her coming back as Hokage,” Gai said, pointing a carrot stick at him.
Ah, well, he had him there. Kakashi wasn’t quite sure if it was her credence as a medic-nin that prevented her from actively harming him, or if it was his skill as a shinobi that allowed him to come out of that exchange alive, but either way, it was a close call.
Damn, two losses in one day. He was slipping.
“By the way, rival,” Gai said, too casual to be anything but. “You’re looking very sporting in your hokage robe.”
Kakashi looked over at Gai, who was pushing around some rice in a container with too much interest, the slight pink on his cheeks giving him away. Kakashi loved that tell of his.
“Really, Gai?” Kakashi said, standing up from his chair and stalking over to Gai. Gai sat up straighter in his chair as he appraised him.
“What?” Gai said innocently. Kakashi snorted because he knew he was full of shit.
He climbed into Gai’s lap, straddling his waist and draping his arms over Gai’s shoulders. Gai’s hands came up to bracket Kakashi’s hips, looking up at him with sparkles in his eyes. Kakashi leaned down and stole a kiss from Gai, then another, just because he could.
Tenten had been working on a reinforced wheelchair so that Gai could still be fast and aerodynamic in his fighting, but an added bonus was the reinforced steel held both their weight when Kakashi just needed to climb into Gai’s lap and couldn’t wait until they got home.
They had been getting a lot of practice in. A lot.
“I’m going to have to ban you from the office,” Kakashi said with a smile against Gai’s lips. “What am I supposed to do when you make such lewd comments at me like that?”
“I don’t know what you mean, rival,” Gai said between kisses in a voice that indicated he knew exactly what Kakashi meant.
Was it a coincidence that every time Gai brought Kakashi lunch in his office they ended up like this? Kakashi didn’t mind at all. He thought he lost the chance to tell Gai how he felt, let alone hold him like this, and he found he was a bit starved for contact. Couldn’t rest without Gai’s hands on him, didn’t want to live without hearing Gai’s voice in his ear.
They had earned this. Fought and killed their entire lives, so the citizens of their beloved village would know peace. They died for this, and never once dared to hope that they would be the ones who would be able to enjoy an after. Twin rings glinting in the sunlight as their hands wrapped around the other, a promise made to each other to continue to be there in the after, and in the after after that.
Gai wound his hands into Kakashi’s hair and tugged lightly in the way that he knew he liked, and Kakashi responded with a full body shiver.
“Is this the challenge you were talking about?” Kakashi murmured as he squeezed Gai’s shoulders. They only got stronger with every physical therapy session, and they made him a little crazy.
Gai chuckled warmly, the sound reverberating through Kakashi’s bones. “No, what I had in mind for later will definitely require you to save all your strength,” and oh, that just wasn’t fair.
Kakashi groaned as he buried his face into Gai’s shoulder, breathing in his heady scent. “How am I supposed to focus on paperwork now?”
“Think of that as its own challenge,” Gai said, and Kakashi pulled back to look at him fully. The twinkle in Gai’s eyes changed to something hungry, but the underlying adoration never left them.
Kakashi responded by pressing his hips down into Gai’s, and the answering gasp from Gai’s lips made the entire thing worth it. Two could play at that game.
“Well that’s just cheating,” Gai grumbled half-heartedly, and Kakashi laughed, dipping his head back down to kiss his husband. They were both smiling too wide for it to be anything substantial, but that was alright. It still felt like fireworks.
Later, after, home. Things they never thought possible became so mundane and ordinary and almost a given. They would never stop marveling at their epilogue.