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I.
The first time it happens, Erling barely registers it.
He’s on top of Jude, the smell of grass and dirt filling his nose and the only thing that matters is that they scored. Jude delivered the ball to him beautifully and he managed to hit it past the keeper with ease. There was nothing else to do but come at him to celebrate, and when he found Jude already on the ground, staring up at the floodlights drowning out the dark sky above the stadium, he let himself fall down onto him to give him the hug he deserved.
They lie there a moment longer, limbs tangled, while it feels like the whole world goes quiet around them. Erling knows that he has to get back up. There are still a few minutes of the match left to play where they’ll have to defend with all that they’ve got if they want to bring home those three points.
He’s just decided that he has to pick himself up when he feels a soft touch to his neck. They are touching in so many places that it shouldn’t come as a surprise to him, but it somehow feels different. Erling just doesn’t know why.
It’s much later, when they’re back in the dressing room and celebrating their win, that Erling starts to realise what might have happened.
Jude is smiling at him shyly from his space right next to his. Erling can’t help but smile back and as usual, he gets a little lost in staring at Jude’s lips. He’s tried to stop himself from doing that, but he can never stick to his resolution for long.
And that’s when it comes to him, while their teammates are shouting around them and Jude’s smile grows a little wider. The touch to his neck felt like nothing he’s ever experienced before with Jude, and Erling doesn’t have any other explanation than the fact that Jude kissed him.
He still has no idea why, but he finds that he doesn’t really mind.
II.
Erling doesn’t like playing without Jude. He knows that it’s necessary sometimes, that they can’t both play all ninety minutes in every match, but he still feels bad whenever Jude gets substituted off. Particularly because Jude wasn’t showing any sign of exhaustion or injury and he’d been in the box with Erling only minutes earlier, working out one of their many chances this match that went nowhere.
As predicted, they don’t get any better without Jude on the pitch. They end the match with zero goals and a meek point to their name. Erling isn’t in the best mood when he walks off into the tunnel, even though he knows that they can’t win every single match and that he should be happy that they didn’t concede any goals at least.
His mood turns a little brighter when he finds Jude waiting for him. Jude has put his jacket on after going to the bench and he’s zipped it up to the top to protect himself against the cold November winds. He looks absolutely adorable and Erling makes his way towards him immediately.
Jude is smiling at him like Erling didn’t just give away countless chances. “You did well.”
Erling doesn’t have a good reply to that. He can’t tell Jude that he’s wrong, but he also can’t agree with him wholeheartedly either. If he had done as well as he normally did, they wouldn’t have lost.
Instead of waiting for Erling to say something, Jude takes a step closer. There are people walking past right behind him, but Erling doesn’t notice any of them when Jude puts his arms around him and pulls him close.
It shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary. Some of their other teammates have hugged out on the pitch and Erling knows that there will be more hugs in the dressing room. Still, it feels almost indecent to have Jude so close with so many eyes on them.
Especially when Jude leans around him so his lips are close to Erling’s ear. “You’ll score next time.” He sounds so confident that Erling almost believes him. Of course he’ll score next time. There is no way around it if Jude says it like it’s a fact.
Jude moves away from him afterwards and that could be it; a simple encouragement from a teammate after a bad match. Erling isn’t even sure if Jude does it on purpose. But this time, he knows for sure that it must be Jude’s lips touching the skin right below his ear.
It’s over so quickly that Erling would think he’d imagined it if his skin wasn’t tingling from Jude’s touch. Jude goes on to greet their other teammates like nothing has happened. Although Erling can’t help but take note of how Jude keeps his distance from them when he hugs them, where he would be pushing his whole body up against Erling’s as if he couldn’t get close enough to him.
Jude definitely doesn’t get close enough to anyone else to kiss them.
III.
They won. It always feels good to be winning, especially in the Champions League. Erling doesn’t even mind having to answer stupid interview questions afterwards because he’s still so hyped up from the noise of the crowds.
He’s talking about how important the win was for them, trying to find the right words. He isn’t paying much attention to anything except the reporter in front of him, so he doesn’t realise at first when someone comes up to him.
He knows that it's Jude even before looking at him. Jude doesn't hesitate to move closer to him and Erling can feel a blush spreading across his face right as Jude's lips connect with his neck.
It's over in the blink of an eye, but Erling still feels like the world is spinning around him. His skin is tingling where Jude kissed him. He's sure that he's bright red by now and for some reason, he can't keep himself from grinning.
“Little kiss from Jude?” the interviewer shoots him a wink. “How good was he tonight?”
Right. Erling is here to answer questions about the match. He finds himself gushing about Jude and he has to force himself to shut up, so as not to show how much this kiss has affected him.
The interview goes on as normal, but Erling is relieved when he can step back and out of the spotlight after a few more questions.
He tries to tell himself that it doesn't have to mean anything. It wouldn't be the first time that someone on the team messed with anyone else during an interview. Even if the video of Jude’s little kiss gets out, people will probably think that they are just good friends messing around, with emotions running high after their win.
Erling tries to believe that, too. It’s not like Jude’s in the habit of kissing him all the time. It’s just something that he does occasionally when he feels like it. It doesn’t have to mean anything.
Even if Erling kind of wishes that it could mean something.
IV.
Their team bus has just pulled into the stadium. Erling is buzzing with it, as he usually is before a match, but this time, there are nerves mixed into it. He’s got enough experience to know that he has to take every match seriously, but there are some that are more important than others, and tonight, it’s more important than ever that they win this thing.
With the high expectations looming over him, Erling has grown more and more quiet the longer the drive dragged on. Jude must have noticed his mood shift because he’s left him alone so far. Or maybe he’s been dealing with nerves of his own.
When Erling looks over to check on him, he finds Jude already focused on him. His knee bumps into Erling lightly and it tells him that Jude knows what he’s doing and that he’s fine. They’ve been sitting together on the team bus for a while now and Erling really loves how they’ve grown so used to each other that they’re able to communicate with such simple touches.
The touches don’t stay that simple, though. The others are already getting up to leave the bus when Jude leans over to him and puts his arm around him in a half-hug. “You know you’ve got this, right?”
It should probably be the other way around, with him encouraging Jude because he’s got more experience playing high-stakes games, but it feels good to hear nonetheless. If Jude believes in him, Erling can put his nerves to rest. He finds himself nodding and his doubts dissipate some more when Jude smiles at him.
Jude’s face is much closer than it should be. Their little heart to heart has taken so long that most of their teammates have cleared out of the bus already. It’s just them and a few stragglers left and they need to get going so nobody comes back to look for them.
“We should -” Erling starts, but he doesn’t to finish his suggestion because Jude moves even closer to him. His words get caught in his throat, unable to leave his mouth when Jude presses his lips to Erling’s cheek.
Jude is still smiling at him when he leans back, as if he hadn’t just shaken Erling’s world to the core. “For good luck,” he says, as if that’s just something that they do, giving each other good luck kisses before going out onto the pitch.
“We should get going,” Jude finishes the sentence that Erling still couldn’t quite piece together.
They go on to win that match. Of course they do.
V.
“Could you give me a lift home after training?”
Erling agrees without even thinking about it. It’s not like he’d say no such a simple request if any other teammate asked him, but this is Jude. Erling could never say no to Jude.
That’s why he finds himself navigating the streets carefully after training. He’s never been to Jude’s place and he finds that Jude is absolutely awful at giving directions. However, part of Erling doesn’t really mind because it means that he gets to spend a few more minutes with Jude every time he takes a wrong turn.
His car isn’t exactly small, but it still feels like such a confined space. They’ve been alone together before, hanging out at Erling’s place to play video games or in hotel rooms when they’ve travelled for games, but there is heightened tension in the air now, as if they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Erling finds himself chatting mindlessly, talking about training and the injuries they’ve been dealing with on the team, about their upcoming match this Saturday and his plans for winter break. He’s probably boring Jude to death, but whenever he looks over, there is a hint of a smile on Jude’s face.
“We’re here,” Jude says suddenly and Erling almost hits the kerb because he’s so lost in his thoughts. He barely manages to pull into one of the parking spots without completely embarrassing himself.
However, he snaps right back into reality as Jude leans over to him. The centre console is in the way, but Jude leans across it anyway to hug Erling as best as he can. “Thanks for the lift.”
“Sure,” Erling manages to get out. “No problem.” He’d happily drive Jude around all the time if he ended up getting more hugs like that.
And he ends up getting even more. There is no explanation for it this time, no celebration to be had, no reassurance after a loss, and no good luck needed. It’s just the two of them sitting in his car and Jude’s lips ghosting over the side of his neck before he moves back. “See you tomorrow.”
Erling doesn’t even have time to respond before the car door is slammed shut and Jude is walking over to the building. He stays there in his car for far too long, wondering what it could mean.
He doesn’t reach any meaningful conclusion. He only knows that he can’t wait for Jude to kiss him again.
+1
The only problem is that Jude doesn’t kiss him again.
Erling waits for it each time they celebrate a goal together, but it never happens. Jude hugs him just as enthusiastically as he always has and he looks at Erling like he hung the moon, but his lips never meet Erling’s skin again.
It doesn’t happen outside of a match either. Jude tackles him during training, he sits close to him in the dressing room, but he never gets that close anymore. If Erling didn’t remember every single one of those kisses so clearly, he might think that he’d imagined them because at this point, it doesn’t seem likely that Jude will ever do it again.
Erling tells himself that he’s not disappointed. He truly isn’t. Jude and he are still the best of friends and a lack of kisses shouldn’t even matter in that regard.
It shouldn’t, but it does.
Which is why Erling is kind of surprised to find Jude knocking on his hotel room door on the crack of dawn on the day of one of their Champions League fixtures. He’s been awake for a while, but he didn’t expect anyone else to get up so early.
“What’s up?” he asks when he finds Jude standing there, fully dressed and looking like he hasn’t slept a wink.
Jude just shrugs and pushes past him into the room. “Do you ever feel like you know it’s going to be a shit day when the day hasn’t even started yet?”
It’s not what Erling was expecting, but he’ll never turn him down when Jude so obviously needs to talk to someone. “You don’t know that yet. It might turn out good after all.”
Jude scoffs and he looks so lost there for a moment, his shoulders drawn in and his back hunched to make himself appear smaller than he is that Erling has to pull him into a hug. He wouldn’t have the right words anyway, but there are ways that he can try to comfort him.
Jude fits against him seamlessly. It’s hard to notice in the heat of the moment after a match or when they’re celebrating, but Jude has just the right height to burrow into him and his chin fits neatly into the crook of Erling’s neck.
It would be the perfect position for Jude to kiss him again, but Erling tries to push that thought away. This is not about him and his silly crush. This is all about Jude and giving him what he needs.
Then again, he can't help but notice how Jude's eyelids flutter when he pulls back a little. It seems like his gaze keeps flitting downwards, lingering on Erling's lips before he looks back up at him with those beautiful brown eyes of his.
“I want to-” Jude starts, but he falls silent and lowers his eyes again. This time, he's clearly fixated on the ugly hotel room carpet beneath his feet.
Erling wishes that Jude was easier to read. He doesn't want to presume anything and he can't be shouting from the rooftops either how much he wants Jude to kiss him again. If Jude is referring to something completely different, Erling might make a fool of himself, and even worse, he could put Jude off even more before their match tonight.
So he can't just go out and capture Jude's lips with his own, no matter how tempting it is. However, he can take a page out of Jude's playbook. “I could wish you good luck.” He keeps watching Jude's face to look for any signs of objection. “It worked for me the last time.”
There is a brief moment of hesitation, but then Jude's face morphs into one of his soft smiles that Erling loves so much. “Yeah. You could “
Erling actually could. He can’t quite believe it, but Jude has just given him permission and Erling will gladly take it. He pulls Jude close again and breathes him in. It feels familiar to hold him like that at this point, but Erling feels a new kind of thrill shoot through him as he presses his mouth onto Jude's skin.
It's not much more than Jude ever did with him, just a little kiss to the back of his neck. He lets it linger for a second longer than he would out in public, but he can't do any of the further exploring that he wants to do.
There might be time for it later, depending on how their day goes, but for now, Erling is happy enough as is when he pulls away to find Jude still smiling at him. “Good luck,” he whispers and squeezes Jude one last time before he lets him go.
Their match ends in a draw. They haven’t played their best, but Erling pulls Jude into a hug anyway, right there on the pitch. Jude presses his face into his neck, hidden away from view and Erling can feel Jude’s lips brush his skin.
In the end, the results don’t matter because Erling still feels like he won today.