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Hitoshi seriously has no clue how he ended up in this situation but he would really wish for the ground to open itself up right about now and swallow him whole to spare him this misery.
"What do you mean you have feelings for me?" Bakugou asks, completely incredulous, as he should, in Hitoshi's opinion, because this was not something he ever wanted the other boy to find out.
Damn Denki and Mina and their well intended meddling that's only going to make things awkward now.
"Nothing," Hitoshi mumbles but Denki is almost vibrating out of his skin next to him.
"Feelings feelings," he says, as if that could make anything better and Hitoshi groans as he looks up at the ceiling, praying for a higher power to get him through this situation unscathed.
Well. Physically unharmed, at the very least. They are well past unscathed, because this embarrassment is going to make him sick any second now.
"You should have heard him, he's head over heels for you," Mina chimes in and Hitoshi puts a hand over his face.
"He was very much not supposed to hear, you idiots," he groans out and Bakugou's eyes go flinty as he looks at him.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Hitoshi mumbles and then rolls his eyes because fuck his friends. If he wanted to confess, he would have done so himself and now he kind of has to since he will not let this confession go like this. "Bakugou, I have feelings for you."
It's almost as awkward to say it out loud as it is to hear it from Mina's mouth but at least it's out there in his own words now, if not on his own terms.
And he will be having words with Denki and Mina later, that's for fucking sure, but right now, Hitoshi really just wants out of this situation.
"I don't have time for shit like that, I'm trying to be a goddamn hero," Bakugou gives back, almost dumbfounded it seems, and Hitoshi snorts out a laugh.
"Yeah, that's exactly what that was supposed to mean," Hitoshi says and Denki groans.
"Fuck, dude, that is almost word for word what he said when we asked him why he hasn't confessed, how are you so fucking predictable?" Denki whines out and now Bakugou's eyes blaze with something that is not his usual anger.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he repeats, much more quietly this time and Hitoshi helplessly shrugs.
"It just means I know you have other shit you want to concentrate on, and so I never said anything because I know you don't want to be distracted. That's all."
That doesn't seem to be all, though, because Bakugou sizes him up like he's a challenge he has yet to conquer and Hitoshi takes a wary step back.
"How dare you assume that I can't do two things at once," Bakugou finally spits out and then points at Hitoshi. "Five dates, you loser, to show you that I can handle more than one thing at a time."
"Uhm," Hitoshi intelligently gets out because this was not at all how he saw this going. "You don't really have to, though? I'm fine, really, and we all know you're the most capable of all of us, so—"
"Shut the hell up, eggplant, and go up to your room. I'll bring you dinner and that damn well counts as date one," Bakugou hisses at him and turns around towards the kitchen, leaving the three of them to stare after him in absolute bewilderment.
"What the fuck just happened?" Hitoshi finally dares to whisper out and Mina shrieks so high, Hitoshi fears she's going to eclipse the human hearing range.
"You just got a fucking date with our Blasty Boi!"
She seems honestly more excited about this than Hitoshi, because he's still too confused about the chain of events that just unfolded.
Getting a date with Bakugou was never something he seriously considered and getting five? That must be a fucking dream, spite dates or not. Or maybe trial dates. Challenge dates? Who even knows, not Hitoshi, that's for sure, but he's also not going to ask.
He's going to shut his mouth and take what he can get and at least like this he can say that he shot his shot and tried his best and everything else will be for future him to figure out.
"I still hate both of you," he shortly informs his so called friends and then walks up to his dorm room to wait for Bakugou.
Who is apparently bringing him dinner and who shows up half an hour later with two plates of deliciously smelling food.
Half an hour Hitoshi spent pacing in his room, trying to figure out what they are supposed to do while eating and now that Bakugou is here he has to admit that he's still not any close to figuring that out, so he's just uselessly standing around as Bakugou pushes past him into the room, looks around with thinly veiled disdain and then deposits one plate on the desk while he takes his own with him as he sits down on the floor.
And Hitoshi continues to hover.
"You're kind of awkward, aren't you?" Bakugou almost mildly asks from his position on the floor and it makes Hitoshi jerk, only further proving Bakugou's point.
"A fucked up childhood will do that to you," Hitoshi blurts out, like the idiot that he is and Bakugou gives him an almost pitying look for it.
It doesn't help.
Still, Hitoshi gathers his own plate and joins Bakugou on the ground, because there's no way in hell he's going to sit at his desk while Bakugou is down on the floor and then, for one blissful minute, they are too busy chewing to talk.
And then Bakugou decides to ruin it all when he opens his mouth to speak instead of to eat.
"So? You like it?" he demands to know and Hitoshi almost chokes on his bite in his haste to swallow so he can answer and that pitying look is back.
"It's good," Hitoshi mumbles, shoving another bite into his mouth so he doesn't have to speak anymore and Bakugou rolls his eyes at him.
"You really are shit at this," he informs Hitoshi who can only helplessly shrug, because, yes, he's shit at normal human interactions, but he also never expected to end up here and half an hour was hardly enough time to prepare him for this.
And the butterflies in his stomach are so confused by all the stress they are making him sick.
"I never expected this to happen, so I don't know what to do," Hitoshi finally admits after another minute or two of awkward silence and Bakugou sighs as if the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders.
"You're so goddamn stupid, eyebags," he mumbles and then shakes his head. "So, here's what we're going to do. You're going to tell me three things you like and then I'll inquire about one of that and then I will tell you three things I like and you'll inquire after that and baam. Whole conversation right there."
It's almost pathetic how relieved this battle plan makes Hitoshi feel, but he eagerly nods and going by the look on Bakugou's face he damn well knows it, too, but he doesn't comment on it.
"Start talking then," he prompts and for a second Hitoshi completely blue-screens, certain that there could never be three things in his life he likes, but then his brain kicks back in.
Well. At least a little.
"I like cycling, I like not being beaten at home and I love cats."
The silence that follows after his statement is suffocating and Hitoshi contemplates throwing himself out of the window before Bakugou speaks up.
"Cycling. Tell me about it."
For a second, Hitoshi thinks he must have heard that wrong because there's no way Bakugou is going to ignore that other statement but he's just expectantly looking at him and so Hitoshi starts talking.
He talks about where he goes, what he likes about it, his bike and to his surprise, Bakugou listens.
And he doesn't just pretend to listen, because he's asking follow-up questions and he seems engaged with the topic; it's enough to make Hitoshi stop feeling awkward for talking about something he enjoys and not many people get but eventually his words dry up.
"There. Was that so hard?" Bakugou wants to know but clearly it's a rhetorical question because he immediately goes on. "I like hiking, I like cooking and I like not having to talk to people."
The statements hang in the air and Hitoshi is painfully aware that he's supposed to inquire further about one of them but he doesn't know what the right choice is.
Hiking seems too close to his cycling hobby and it could be an easy out but the last statement seems like something Bakugou included to make up for Hitoshi's own blunder and—
"You're overthinking it. It's not rocket science; pick one," Bakugou snaps after a moment and it's enough to startle a reply out of Hitoshi.
"Cooking."
"You're such a disaster," Bakugou sighs out before he goes into detail about why he likes cooking so much and when he's done, their food is finished and they've spent almost close to two hours together.
And it wasn't even that awkward. Hitoshi can probably do four more of these, he thinks, and then Bakugou speaks and ruins everything.
"You're going to plan the next date," he informs Hitoshi as he gets up and gathers the plates. "And for the love of the gods, don't overthink it and don't ask the extras for ideas. They are going to make this needlessly complicated."
He waits just long enough for Hitoshi to nod, before he breezes out of the room with nothing more than a careless "Night" tossed over his shoulder and Hitoshi is left to stare after him in absolute confusion.
He has no idea what just happened.
~*~*~
Hitoshi doesn't want to admit it, but he doesn't want this to end.
He thought going on dates with Bakugou would be awkward at best, would show him that Bakugou is not all that great to begin with at worst and yet, here Hitoshi is, on their fifth date and with more butterflies in his stomach than ever.
And today everything ends.
Bakugou gave him five dates and now that those are done, they'll go back to being classmates. Maybe vague friends, if Hitoshi is lucky, and he isn't very often, so he's not counting on that.
"You're being more strange than normal, zombie. What's going on?" Bakugou asks from his position on Hitoshi's bed, where he's lazily stretched out, arms crossed behind his head as he follows the happenings of the movie playing on the laptop.
Hitoshi had just gotten up to get more snacks and now he can't shake the thought that this will all end in a matter of minutes.
"Today is the last day you have to spent with me," he somehow gets out and tries for his best smile. "You must be happy about that."
Because Hitoshi damn well knows that spending time with him has cut into Bakugou's training and studying time and sometimes even his sleeping time, like right now, and Bakugou likes his routines enough to resent Hitoshi over this.
Hitoshi knows that there was a reason why Bakugou said he didn't have time to date and Hitoshi almost feels guilty for making him anyway, even though this is squarely on Bakugou's shoulders.
"Right, five dates," Bakugou says and then drags his eyes up and down Hitoshi's body before he settles more firmly into the bed. "You're not a real person yet, you can barely hold a conversation. I think five more dates should fix that."
"Five—more," Hitoshi repeats, because he can hardly believe what he's hearing right now but Bakugou hits him with one of his 'don't make me repeat myself, you already look stupid enough'-looks and so Hitoshi settles back down next to him without another word.
The butterflies go crazy when their shoulders brush and Bakugou doesn't move away.
~*~*~
Date eight gets him Katsuki-privileges.
~*~*~
Date ten gets him five more dates because he convinces Katsuki that he's not yet fully capable to woo someone without help.
~*~*~
Date thirteen gets him a kiss.
~*~*~
Date fifteen gets him the realisation that somewhere along the way that pitying look has turned into something else entirely—something like fondness, something that makes him go weak in the knees and so when he asks for five more dates, he doesn't even feel ashamed or needy at all.
It's almost funny how fast Katsuki agrees.
~*~*~
"Dudes, what happened to five dates?" Denki asks when Hitoshi and Katsuki announce that they are going to move in together after graduation.
"Yeah, angel, what happened to five dates?" Hitoshi agrees and gets a burning glare for it.
"We're on date three, dipshit," Katsuki finally informs Denki who is clearly trying to do the math if his frown is anything to go by.
He doesn't need to know that this is the thirteenth time they've done five dates.
~*~*~
"You clearly have no idea what five dates mean," Mina groans out when they announce their engagement. "I have no idea how you ever passed Math class."
"I have no idea what you mean, this is date four," Hitoshi says with a shrug and a smirk and he gets more groans for it, accompanied with a flick to his temple before Katsuki leans in and kisses it all better.
"Date five is going to be the wedding and then we'll never do another date ever, no worries," Katsuki informs all of them and it prompts a round of confused laughter from their friends.
~*~*~
Hitoshi absolutely doesn't cry when Katsuki promises to take him on five dates for the rest of their lives during their vows but to his credit, Katsuki tears up when Hitoshi promises to take him on five more after that.