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Tony probably fell for Rhodey the first time he said something nice to him, because Tony is a lonely kid and he just latches onto Rhodey. He probably also tried something then, which Rhodey gently refused, because Tony is young and confused and obviously not used to someone being kind to him.
Tony quickly realizes that that is not true, not with how his feelings for Rhodey grow and get stronger every day, but he doesn’t say anything again, and he learns to live with it. Rhodey had rejected him once and it wouldn’t do to destroy the only real friendship he ever had, so he keeps quiet and he gets used to it.
But it doesn’t mean he’s not going to take advantage of his friendship with Rhodey, he squeezes in all the cuddles and hugs and forehead kisses he can get away with, and it’s good, it’s perfect, Tony doesn’t even need more than this.
Rhodey does become his whole life, he is his one steady point in life, first through MIT and then through taking over SI and Rhodey is the one who finds Tony in the desert after everything and when Tony slumps against him, he feels safe and he can’t help but say it, ‘I love you’, but he mumbles it into Rhodey’s neck, it’s save, Rhodey never heard it and Tony is just so goddamn glad that Rhodey is still alive and still there and he can’t even bring himself to let go of Rhodey.
And Rhodey indulges him like always, he stays close, he keeps contact, a hand on his arm, his neck, an arm slung around his shoulder, holding him during the night, even long after they get back to the states.
Then Tony is nearly dying again, and Rhodey is there, always right there by his side, handing him his heart when he asks him too, and the irony and symbolism is not lost on Tony, but he can’t think about it, he can’t, he’s dying and he needs to make sure Rhodey is as unaffected by that and as safe as Tony can make him, and so he gives him a suit and pushes him away and it’s fine, it’s perfect, it’s not like Tony isn’t dying anyway, the added pain barely even registers.
But Rhodey is still there, by his side, when the fight starts, he doesn’t leave, he has his back and Tony wants to spell it out on the sky, but he can’t, he can never say it, and so instead he gifts Rhodey the suit for real and he invites him for pizza and a movie to apologize and if he gets some cuddles out of it, he’s not going to complain.
When they meet at the Mandarin Mansion, Tony is pathetically grateful to have Rhodey by his side, and he is once again awed at how competent Rhodey is, how sure, and Tony is very aware that he is barely the hero of this story, Rhodey is saving the president in a fucking green polo shirt, without armour, just by being his usual badass self and Tony has never been more in love than then.
But he still doesn’t say anything, he still keeps it to himself, so used to it by now, and then Ultron happens, and he put Rhodey in danger yet again, the only thing Tony is thankful for in this mess, is that Rhodey is not in his vision, so maybe he gets to live, and then during Sokovia Rhodey is there once more, risking his life for a mess Tony made and he knows he should fight in the city, but he can’t bring himself to leave Rhodey alone, he needs to have his back too, this one time.
They survive and they more or less save everyone and then Rhodey signs up for the Avengers, and Tony is so proud, so goddamn proud, but he is also so in love and horribly afraid that something will happen to Rhodey, especially now that Tony is not there to have his back, but maybe it’s even better that he’s not there, because like this he can’t put Rhodey in danger.
But then the Accords happen, and of course Rhodey is for them, he would sign in a heartbeat, just like Tony did, but it puts him in a dangerous spot on Tony’s side, still always at Tony’s side, and Tony just wants to keep him safe, and he failed, so spectacularly, he never felt this cold as when he sees Rhodey fall, he has never experienced such fear as in the split second where he doesn’t know if Rhodey is still alive, none of his previous experiences can compare to this level of horror, he loves Rhodey and he only wanted for him to be happy and safe and now he is broken and he nearly died and Tony can barely live with himself.
Rhodey does survive, and Tony does his best, he gives him the braces and he tries to give him space, but Rhodey is adamant that this isn’t Tony’s fault and he just follows Tony back to the compound, and Tony is so thankful that Rhodey is still there, he doesn’t even protest.
Rhodey heals and Tony is still drowning in his love for this man and they keep out of horribly dangerous business. Tony knows it’s wrong that he still hasn’t said anything, especially with how they are sleeping together most of the nights to keep the nightmares at bay and how they spend all their days together, and it’s domestic and wonderful and Tony is in love.
And he’s doing fine, he swallows around the words most of the time, he learned how to do that years ago, it’s no big deal. But it is, and Tony sometimes feels like he is suffocating on the words but it’s better this way, Rhodey is still there and he’s not about to lose him because of his stupid feelings, he’s not.
But when they watch a movie and Tony is securely nestled into Rhodey’s arms, he can’t help but to think it over and over, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’, because it’s true, it’s still true, and Tony can’t not think it. Except he apparently didn’t just think it, not with the way Rhodey suddenly goes very still under him and stops stroking his arm and Tony isn’t even sure Rhodey is still breathing, and he can understand that, the realization of what he just did sucks the breath right out of him too and he gets up, hastily away from Rhodey who is staring wide eyed at him, and Tony starts to babble, it’s what he does, what he knows best, but he is shaking everywhere, he barely feels stable on his feet and he is not sure he can make even one step without crumbling.
Rhodey is still looking at him, eyes a little bit wide, hand half outstretched towards Tony and Tony suddenly sees it all clearly in front of him, how Rhodey will get up and leave, or tell him to leave and to never touch him again, how he will let him down gently but decisively, and the best thing Tony ever had in his life is crashing and burning right in front of his eyes. He is still shaking, feeling faint, and he has never, not in all his years of superheroing, felt so small or so scared as right this second.
And Rhodey is torn between boundless elation, because ‘Tony is in love with me too’ and a horrible feeling of ‘Oh god, he’s going to pass out, he’s going to faint right in front of me’ and he can’t have that, Tony is clearly already in defensive mode, but Rhodey can’t have that, so he reaches for him, tucks him back onto the couch, right back into the place Tony was lying so peacefully minutes before and he hugs him, close, kisses his forehead and holds him tight.
Tony’s heart is beating so fast and so hard, Rhodey can feel it against his own chest, and Tony is still afraid, he is still scared shitless, and Rhodey really wants to kiss him, but it’s secondary now, first he needs to make sure that Tony knows he is loved, always, forever, no matter what, and he pulls Tony closer still, holds him close, and doesn’t let him run away and then says ‘I love you too, I would love you no matter what, there is nothing you could do to change that, even if it wasn’t romantic, but it is, it is, and I love you too, you don’t get to run from me’ and Tony’s breath hitches, Rhodey feels it more like he hears it, just like he feels his still fast beating heart, but then Tony slumps against him, gives in and just gives his resistance up, and Rhodey finally gets to really hold him again.
They stay like that, Rhodey mumbling into Tony’s hair and keeping him close, until Tony’s heart is approaching normal territory again, and then, only then, does Rhodey gently push him back a bit, so that he can finally look at Tony’s face, and he knows Tony, of course he does, and he can see the uncertainty on his face, still, and this won’t do, it won’t do at all, so now he leans down and Tony meets him halfway, and it’s not perfect, not by a long shot, but it kinda is, simply because it’s them.