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“I met my ex today,” Sam says and Tony hums noncommittally.
“Nice,” he says and then waits for more information but Sam only sighs.
“Are you really invested in this?” Sam asks, obviously tired and Tony’s head snaps up.
“What do you mean?” Tony wants to know and Sam shrugs.
“I know we never really put a label to this, but I was under the impression that we are more than friends with benefits or fuck buddies. I thought this was a relationship.”
“So did I,” Tony gives back, confused about where this is going.
“Then why don’t you ever ask me something?” Sam asks. “Everyone else would have wanted to know more, about them, about how the meeting went over, about how I feel. But you don’t. You never ask me something. And you also never talk about your day unprompted and even if I do, you tell me the barest minimum. I don’t know what this is, Tony, and I am tired of guessing.”
“Are you giving me an ultimatum?” Tony asks, and it’s not even that he is surprised, he knew he would fuck up, it’s just that he didn’t think it would be this way.
“I guess I am,” Sam sighs and he looks pained. “I don’t want to, I like you Tony, I really do, but if I don’t know if you are in it for the same things I can’t do this. I want to know about your life and I want you to know about mine, that’s a part of every relationship, and if you can’t talk to me, if you can’t give me that, then this is not going to work.”
Tony keeps quiet for a long time, too long like it seems because Sam turns around.
“Alright. I guess that answers it then,” he says and starts to walk away from Tony.
And Tony can’t let this happen, he loves Sam, he does, and this is more important than his stupid little feelings, he can’t let Sam think that he is not loved, that he is not worth being talked to or being listened to and so he decides for once to just say it all.
“I’m afraid,” Tony admits and it’s enough to make Sam stop and turn back around. “I am afraid that if I ask, you will think I’m jealous. Or that you’ll say you miss them, that you would rather be back with them. I’m afraid of doing this wrong, of asking or saying the wrong things.”
Tony stops and takes a deep breath before he continues.
“If I ask too many questions I’m afraid you’ll think I’m controlling you, not trusting you. If I ask who you met and what you did, I fear that you think I’m a possessive bastard. I want to know all these things but I don’t know how to ask about them without driving you off. But clearly I can’t get it right, because I did just that, anyway, didn’t I?”
“You never talk about your day either,” Sam softly says and Tony shrugs.
“People are not in it to hear about me. They tend to get bored or offended with my talk, like I am holding some high standard they could never meet, telling them that I am more important and cleverer than they are and ever could be and it drives them off. I don’t want to drive you off. I never wanted that. I just don’t know how to not do it, I guess,” Tony finishes weakly and Sam sits down next to him on the couch.
“I am not offended if you tell me about your very important job. I want to know all about it. And I know that you are cleverer than me, that I can never follow even half the things you could explain to me, but I would like to follow the other half. I like to hear you talk about anything. It doesn’t offend me. Never.”
Sam pulls Tony into his side and only continues once Tony slightly relaxed against him.
“And I don’t think you are possessive or jealous just because you ask after my day. Maybe if you ask too many questions, but I can tell you to back off then, it’s okay if that happens, it doesn’t mean you messed up. You can ask me anything, and you can tell me everything, I need you to know that.”
Tony mulls that over for a very long time before he says “I need you to be honest with me here. I need you to tell me when I am asking too much or too little. I don’t want to lose you. I like…I love you, and I don’t want to lose you,” Tony says, face instantly heating up with embarrassment over that admission but Sam presses a kiss into his hair.
“I love you, too. And now that we both know where we stand we can totally make this work, you’ll see.”
“Okay,” Tony mumbles and then louder says “So you met your ex, huh?”
Sam chuckles and then groans. “Yes. And by god, do I still hate them.”
“Tell me everything,” Tony says and snuggles closer to Sam.