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[You open a door.]
[Your footsteps start and suddenly stop.]
Scaramouche: How convenient that the last light in this street turned off a moment before you stepped outside. Don't want anyone to notice that you're sneaking out to do research in the wild by yourself? Too bad, I caught you.
You: ...
Scaramouche: I wasn't waiting for you. Wipe that grin off your face. Not everything is about you. Am I not allowed to take a walk in a fine night like this?
[Your footsteps start.]
Scaramouche: Haa, you leave me no choice. I will accompany you, even if you refuse. Might as well make sure you don't run into your death.
[Scaramouche's footsteps start.]
Scaramouche: So, what's your research about? What are you willing to risk your life for? You better have a good reason. If it's just some slimes again, I will see you back to your house and make sure you don't leave.
You: ...
Scaramouche: Don't let it come to that, just answer my question. Or are you afraid that you have no good reason?
You: ...
Scaramouche: Hah. I don't see the appeal, but I'll let it slide. I suppose it won't be a waste of my time.
[Lohen's footsteps start]
Lohen: Oh, hey, there you are. Almost thought I wouldn't catch you and wait all night for nothing. (Unapologetically) I sincerely hope I'm not interrupting anything.
You: ...
[Scaramouche sighs]
Scaramouche: What do you want, vice captain? Don't you have some knightly duty to fuck off to?
Lohen: As it so happens, I'm here on official business, given by Jean herself, to escort our dear secretive researcher in case they decide to not notify the knights. I heard that happened a little too frequently lately.
Scaramouche: They don't need you when I'm here. So go back to the hole you crawled out of and leave us alone.
Lohen: That's not your decision to make.
Scaramouche: Not yours, either.
Lohen: Correct, this is serious business after all. That I get to spend time with beautiful people is just a nice coincidence. Jean explicitly told me our researcher is prone to 'running into trouble' and that if I don't keep them out if it, I will be in trouble.
Scaramouche: No one asked. Tell Jean that your presence is not needed.
Lohen: And miss out on a fun trip with nice company? No way.
[Scaramouche sighs deeply]
Lohen: Well, now you know what I'm doing here. What about you? A strange time for a stroll, don't you think?
Scaramouche: I'm only here to make sure my friend doesn't die.
Lohen: Then shoo. I can protect them just fine. If you don't want to be here, feel free to leave. Actually, I would prefer that. You two are always together. Do you know how hard it is to catch them alone?
Scaramouche: Ha, for good reasons. As if I trust you. You might be able to hold your own in a battle, but who knows what you are planning. I'm not taking any chances. If you want to get rid of me, try harder.
Lohen: Who said I want to get rid of you?
Scaramouche: You just did. And even if you didn't, your fondness is hard to miss. Everyone knows you have a thing for them and is equally curious and concerned what that means for them.
Lohen: Is that why everyone seems to be on edge when I'm with them? [Lohen scoffs.] What do they expect me to do? I'm not going to hurt them- not without their consent, anyway.
[Monster sounds.]
Lohen: Look at that. How lucky you are, dear researcher, that you have us, hm? (scoldingly) Would have been too bad if you ran into those monsters all by yourself.
Scaramouche: Are you going to do something about it or keep being useless?
Lohen: No need to rush me. I'm on it!
[Lohen leaves. Sounds of fighting in the background start.]
[Scaramouche sighs.]
You: ...
Scaramouche: ...What? I don't care if he gets hurt. He can handle a few measly monsters. If I have to put up with him, the least he can do is be useful. Is that not why you insist on keeping him around? I'm sure that if you would tell that nuisance to leave, he would. ...And if not, it would at least give me an excuse to make him leave.
You: ...
Scaramouche: Whatever. Come here.
[Scaramouche kisses you.]
Scaramouche: That's for allowing someone to flirt with you. I should be the only one on your mind.
You: ...
[Scaramouche laughs]
Scaramouche: That is the dumbest thing you have said the entire week. You are blind and deaf if you seriously think Lohen is flirting with me too.
You: ...
Scaramouche: Just a joke? It wasn't funny. Next time, think before you spew nonesense.
Lohen: Watcha talking about without me?
You: ..-
Scaramouche (interrupting you): Nothing that concerns you. If we are done here, let's keep moving.
Lohen: Hold up! While you were idly chatting, I was doing all the work, taking out a threat. I think I deserve a prize. How about... a kiss from our dear researcher?
Scaramouche: Don't you dare lay a finger on them. You did the bare minimum and want a reward? How about you kiss my fist instead? I can arrange that.
You: ...
Scaramouche: He's asking for it. He crossed a line, demanding something that belongs to me.
You: ...
Scaramouche: I am calm.
[Lohen kisses Scaramouche's hand]
Scaramouche: Lohen!? What are you-?
Lohen: I'm taking what you promised. Hm, but that's not enough. Do you mind, sweetheart?
[Scaramouche scoffs.]
[Lohen kisses you.]
Lohen: Why so quiet, Hat Guy? Wh- are you blushing? [Lohen laughs.] I didn't expect you to enjoy watching us.
[Lohen kisses you.]
Scaramouche: I'm going to kill you.
Lohen: I'd love to find out what you're capable of. But that will have to wait. I'm afraid our dear reckless researcher here would use the opportunity to run off.
Scaramouche: Get your hands off of them before I do something you regret.
Lohen: I doubt it. But if you want me to put my hands on you, all you have to do is ask. Hm, you don't mind sharing, do you sweetheart?
You: ...
Lohen: There you have it!
Scaramouche: I- Don't come any closer! Don't touch me.
Lohen: I'm not doing anything. But I bet they'd love the show. I can think of so many fun things to try out. Or do you want both of us? That's it, isn't it?
Scaramouche (flustered): Shut your filthy mouth. You know nothing.
Lohen: You should take a look in a mirror, your face is so red. Oh, you wanna do it here out in the open? What's on your mind, tell me.
Scaramouche: You- I'm leaving. Lohen, if I find so much as a scratch on them, you're dead.
[Scaramouche flees.]
Lohen: Byebye!
You: ...
Lohen: Ha, not my fault he can't handle a little light teasing... Now that he's gone- where are you going? We are finally alone.
[You shove materials into Lohen's arms.]
Lohen: Hold this? I'm not carrying your stuff. Are you listening? (Whiny) Come on. There's barely any time you have me all to yourself and you seriously want to do research now?
You: ...
Lohen: When you're done? And how long is that gonna take?
You: ...
Lohen: Fine. How can I help? The faster you're done, the better.