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"So...uhm...ok...what...I mean do you want..." "I think we...uhm...maybe we should..." Sitting on a king-sized hotelbed across from each other, not making eye contact and desperatly trying to find the right words Tyler and Josh both fiddled with the blanket and shared the same shade of red on their faces. It had only been three days since the revelation (as Mark called it), the < ground – breaking – incident > (as they tried to adress it) or the < holy – fuck – finally – you – guys – got – your – heads – out – of -your – asses > (as Brendon had named it).
In fact all of this definitions might have been a littlebit too exaggerated for a simple, quiet innocent brush of lips that had left them both trembling like a full force make out. Unfortunatly it had taken place right after a show, in front of various crew members and the whole cast of Panic! Who had just came by to watch them play. After it there had been not a single minute they had shared alone and even if pretty much everyone around them insisted that they didn't had to hide anything, they silently agreed to not get closer then sitting beside each other until they got the chance to talk about.
Maybe that was why their tour manager booked a hotel despite the fact they would not even be able to spent the whole night there as they had to get on around 3 pm to reach the next venue in time. Michael had not explained himself, just handed them the room key and commanded them out of the bus, leaving them standing dumbfolded at the outside as he threw their bags after them and slammed the door shut. Awkwardly they shuffled down the hallways then until they found the room, rooted through their bags for some minutes and finally found the courage to agree to have < the talk >.
That was what brought them there, sitting nervous on the bed not knowing how to start or end this – either way it was new ground for them. Taking a deep sigh, running his hands through his hair Tyler found some courage then and started again. "This is ridiculous! I mean...there's no need to be nervous. I know you better then the back of my hand and it's not that we haven't been close before." Smirking lightly (a pretty adoreable smirk Tyler noticed then) Josh shot him a shy glance. "Right. No need to freak out. It's perfectly normal to be in love with your best friend. A guy. Like...gay."
Curious eyeing the drummers reaction Tyler answered: "Are you? I mean like...interested in guys?" "Obviously, idiot." "Ok, good I think I am too." "You think?" "Yeah...it's not that I tried it before...or even thought about it." Tilting his head and searching his own memory the singer corrected himself quickly. "Which is not true. I DID think about it. About you, to specify." Shifting his weight and lying down on his back so his head came to lay directly beside his still sitting friend Josh took another leap into the unknown. "Did you? So...what exactly did you think about...just to, you know, specify."
It started to feel better then, more comfortable somehow. Still none of them could bring himself to touch the other, but Tyler leaned back on his hands and relaxed visible, now facing the older with a playfull sparkle in the eye. "Depends on where I thought about you...on stage...while driving around..." a little quieter he added "under the shower." Joshs face split in a grin then, they both felt that they had found some kind of pace to solve this and went with it. "I'd like to know more about the shower thing I guess." "Well, it's a little hard to explain...but I could...show you?" "Why not...go ahead..."
And that was when Tyler leaned down and Josh leaned up and they met in the middle, both holding their breaths as their lips touched, with more pressure and wetness this time. Letting his hand slip to the singers neck, pulling him down Josh brought them on the same level, closer. It felt foreign, but oh so good, and they lingered in this state for some time, just lying beside each other, exploring the feeling of their lips, slowly letting their hands roam over their shirts, yet not touching skin. It was Tyler who took it to a new level then, experimantly running the tip of his tongue over the others bottom lip, gasping surpised as Josh opened his mouth and let him in without any hesitation. Again they took their time to get used to it and finally broke, both out of breath and completly worked up inside.
Resting his forehead against the others chest Josh took a deep breath, thightning his grip around his friends waist, enjoying the slight whimper that escaped Tylers mouth then. "We should take this really, really slow." "Yep...slow..." the singer answered while letting his own hands slip under the fabric of Joshs shirt, ignoring the shudder that ran through the drummers body and let them wander higher until he found a niple. Brushing it slightly he lowered his mouth on the others again and whispered "Slow, really, really, really slow." into the little air between them, earning a giggle.
"Dude, that's not anywhere near slow!" Josh gave and turned on his back, pulling the younger with him so he came to lie on top of him. That was the last sentence spoken for like an eternity that consisted of roaming hands, dancing tongues and low moans and the feeling of finally falling in place while their shirts fell on the floor. Vaguely registering how easy Tyler took dominance Josh held back and tried to be passive, let the younger lead them through. Not that he would have been used to be the submissive one, in fact he normally was pretty controlling, but with him, with the one he loved he needed to be gentle, taken back.
The drummer knew how easy Tyler fell into panic, how hard it was for him to be confident in something so he made sure the singer decided on every further step they took from there on. So he closed his eyes and concentrated on the tingling feeling of the others mouth running down his neck, his collarbone, starting to explore his chest. He was pretty surprised when suddenly the affections stopped and Tyler propped himself up on his arms so their bodies weren't touching anymore and they could look at each other straight. "You ok?" he asked worringly, hoping the singer hadn't changed his mind, it would have been pretty much the death of him to get his heart broken so fast.
The other just stayed were he was, starred down at him, as if he was taking in every line, every freckle on his face. "Ty, are you alright?" Josh tried again, feeling anxiety bubbling up his throat. The rise was stopped and it was shoved back where it started when the younger leaned down again and kissed him, slowly, one, two, three times before stating: "You're just so frickin beautiful. I don't think I deserve this." Pulling Tyler in again, flipping them so this time it was the younger pinned on the bed Josh kissed him senseless then, until he was sure the thought was erased from the others mind. "We do deserve each other, Tyler. We always did."
They did not sleep with each other that night, not in the way it may have been expected, not in the way the crew and Brandon jokingly mentioned the following day. They just slept beside each other, entangled in each other, finally sharing not only souls but their hearts too.