Archive of Our Own

Drip, drop, 

drip, drop…

The pitter patter of rain drummed through his ears, humid air filling his lungs with every bated breath that he took. The smell of wet, rotting wood filled his nostrils from where he stood underneath the awning of the main cabin’s front porch. The air was moist, but somehow as warm as the hot summer air, he almost regretted wearing a hoodie in this weather. Or perhaps it wasn’t entirely for the worst, since the wind was still considerably cold when it blew. There was a sick level of irony that didn’t miss him, especially with the humid air and heavy rain, combined with the chilly wind that felt like icicles prickling at his spine whenever it would hit him. 

He tried not to jump when flashes of white from the sky occasionally dared to startle him, the loud crackling instantly made his ears buzz without failure. It would fizzle out, then show back up again with little to no warning. For him, however, the thunder was never the worst part. 

…He never liked the rain, not since then…

007n7 hasn’t liked the rain for a while, he couldn’t say he was the biggest fan of it. He didn’t have very good memories of being stuck in the rain as a child, locked out of the house, shivering and crying while being endlessly soaked by buckets of what felt like ice cold sorrow while he waited for his parents to get home. Those certainly weren’t the worst memories he had from when he was a child, but they weren’t the best ones either. He couldn’t say his feelings towards the rain got better with age.

Right now wasn’t any different, not really. He could feel dread bubbling up in his stomach, worry starting to overtake his emotions. He pushed it down, there was no need for him to be such a worrywart, worrying too much wouldn’t do him any good.

It was a couple hours after rounds were over, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to his cabin, but then the storm started up, causing him to unfortunately become stuck in the main cabin with the others. It wasn’t all bad, though. He’d take being in the awkward atmosphere of his fellow survivors than being soaked in the rain any other day, as strange as it was to admit. He didn’t have the best relationship with a lot of them, but again, he hated the rain more than he really hated getting awkward looks. At least he was used to all of that, he never got used to the rain no matter how many times it would happen. 

But that’s not what was primarily eating at him, it’s not even why he was out here right now. 

He’s stalling, he knows he is. Why else would he just be standing motionless outside during a thunderstorm of all things? Because he wanted to get air? Don’t make him laugh, the last thing he wanted right now was to be out here in the hot, muggy, suffocating rain. His bones were already aching enough as it is, and although he was never one to be superstitious, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was because of the storm. 

So then… Why was he out here?

For what god forsaken reason, did he decide to drag himself out to stew in his least favorite kind of weather, when he could be inside and not getting constantly overstimulated by the lightning and thunder that overwhelmed every one of his senses? 

Well, it was simple.

And quite frankly, probably pretty stupid. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. 

He wasn’t sure why but… someone’s been on his mind a lot lately, someone who he’s gotten weirdly… close to. He didn’t think he’d ever make a single friend here, he never thought that he’d ever know someone as anything other than an acquaintance. Not until… Guest 1337 came into his life and flipped his expectations on their heads. 

Guest 1337… oh, how n7 tried not to get attached to him, that was how all of his relationships went down the drain, the second he formed some kind of attachment to them. Too many of his relationships went down the gutter in his life, he couldn’t trust himself to let this one go down that route as well. But 1337 had somehow wormed his way into 007n7’s cold dead heart, and n7 didn’t have the guts to try and get him out. 

He wasn’t sure how it happened, a few interactions and pleasant conversations here and there, and before he knew it, he was already starting to get comfortable with Guest hugging him. Something as trivial as that wasn’t a very easy thing for someone to earn from 007n7, heaven knows that it took a while for even Noli to be able to actually show that sort of gesture with him.

So what made Guest 1337 of all people so special? 

Well, 007n7 didn’t know, really. 

Guest just had that sort of pull to him, n7 supposed. He cared about him enough to include n7 in things, check in on him when things would get rough. And n7 always tried to reciprocate that sort of care, Guest was always doing so much for him, he felt like he was taking advantage of his kindness by not giving all that care back to him in some way.

…that was why he was out here, right?

Because he hasn’t come back yet, or maybe he’s just over complicating things like always. Guest is probably fine, he can take care of himself, being gone for over an hour or so doesn’t mean anything bad is happening to him… right? 

007n7 had a gut feeling, that something was wrong, that 1337 needed his help.

But… he kept doubting himself, he felt like he was being too codependent, too clingy.

He just… said he was going to grab his jacket, that’s all. It’s not his obligation to come back, he probably hasn’t come back because of the storm. N7 knew he hated thunderstorms, Guest had said it himself plenty of times, maybe he just got frightened by the storm and decided not to come back. So why has n7 been debating this with himself for a whole 20 minutes if that was the conclusion that any normal person would have come to? 

Guest doesn’t need 007n7 to coddle him, he’s not helpless, he’s more capable and rational than 007n7 himself. If n7 is so worried, he should just stop being such a coward and go check on Guest himself.

That’s the thought loop he’s been stuck in for the last few minutes, the dilemma that he’s irrationally trapped himself in. 

So… why wasn’t he able to move, what was he so afraid of? Humiliation? Rejection? He doesn’t have much to lose, he never really had a good reputation to begin with. He’s been rejected more times in his life than he could count, he should be used to it at this point. 

Guest was kinder to him than most people were, and maybe that’s why the thought of being rejected by him hurt the most out of anything. Because he had that to lose, the one person who actually cared, showed that they cared. Guest never tried to hide his concern behind a false veil of stoicism, he never acted like he didn’t care, if anything the only thing he didn’t really care about was looking strong. Maybe he’d joke about it a couple times, but when things got serious, he was never disingenuous. He was just that… genuine, that strong and honest. N7 would be lying if he said he didn’t admire him, but that might’ve been the thing he hated about him the most. Or perhaps that was just something that he hated about himself. 

He hated how much he liked him, hated how desperately he craved Guest’s affection and approval, hated how important he was to him. Because that’s how it starts, that’s how it always ends, he meets someone, gets attached, and then something happens that makes them disappear. N7 just has to say or do something to make them leave, make them despise him. Because he’s just that unworthy of love, that pathetic—

N7’s ears abruptly picked up on a couple of footsteps behind him, and he quickly felt his mind pull itself out of its downward spiral when they got closer.

“Hey! Double o7, didn’t expect to catch you out here in this weather.” He recognized that voice, frankly it was hard not to. 

Chance’s mannerisms always made them stick out from the others with how expressive they could be. 

“Hey, chance…” n7 mumbled, now disrupted in his thoughts.

Chance was shorter than him by a couple inches, so n7 didn’t notice chance standing right by him until he saw a glimpse of his signature black fedora. 

“Everything alright, pal? You look a little conflicted, and you’re out here in the pouring rain.”

N7 bit the inside of his cheek, shooting a glance at the gambler right next to him “so are you, what even brought you of all people out here, aren’t you supposed to be all cool and extroverted?” 007n7 asked, feeling a sharp pang of regret cut into him as his voice came out a little snarkier than he intended it to be. Chance appeared unbothered by his jab, nothing about him even suggesting that he took offense to it.

“Ah, well I was coming out here to maybe take a quick smoke break but uh… I kinda realized that the weather’s not exactly too prime for that now that I’m out here so, gonna have to put a pin in that I guess!” Chance awkwardly chuckled, their smile a little nervous. 

N7 was a little shocked to hear that chance smoked, and maybe that shouldn’t have been too surprising considering that this was Chance they were talking about. 

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” He said, not too keen on saying anything else.

Chance tilted their head a little, looking at n7 with what he could only describe as mild curiosity. “You didn’t answer my question.” 

“W-what?” 

“I asked if you were ‘doin alright, and you deflected my question with another question, I answered. It’s only fair if you do too.” Chance assessed, mirth evident in their tone. 

N7 didn’t know how to respond, he could only uselessly fiddle with his hands as he felt himself stumble over his words, “L-Look, I’m fine. It’s just… nothing important.”

“Hey, I like listening to unimportant things! Whatever’s bothering you, I can lend an ear, don’t you worry!” 

007n7 heavily debated internally about telling chance anything about what was going on with him, he didn’t really want Chance to spill any of n7’s feelings to the others since he knew that chance liked to gossip here and there. But he was feeling pretty on the fence about all of this, maybe telling someone else would ease his mind just a bit. 

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone else.” 007n7 murmured, a lump stuck in his throat.

Chance put their fingers near their lips, an easy smile on their face. “Gotcha! my lips are sealed, boss!” 

N7 had to force down a laugh at their enthusiasm, the beginnings of a smile settling on the corners of his mouth. 

He fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, not sure what to say exactly, “I guess I’m just… a little worried about Guest, he left a little while ago, said he had to get something from his cabin. He hasn’t come back since, and well… he doesn’t like thunderstorms, said they make him really agitated I guess. But… maybe I’m just being too paranoid.” 

Chance seemed surprised at his confession, but his expression quickly turned back into the carefree poker face that 007n7 came to expect from the gambler.

“Ah, I see. So that’s why you’re out here, you wanna check on him.”

N7 internally startled at chance’s ability to so quickly pick up on the context of the situation, “I… yeah, I guess.” 

“Then do it! I can’t say that I blame you for wanting to check up on the big guy, dude’s always tense, even when he’s on his big old softie act. Can’t imagine how he’s doing right now with the weather being what it is, talk about bad luck, hah.” Ironically, as soon they said that, a strike of lightning exploded from the sky, startling both him and 007n7.  

They cleared their throat, brushing it off as if it was some sort of mild interruption, “Ahem, anyways, yeah. Just go talk to him, I’m sure he won’t mind.” 

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna seem clingy, he always gives me my space, I don’t want to invade his privacy.” He mumbled, twisting his hoodie strings over his fingers.

“Well, you just wanna make sure he’s alright, yeah? Guest ain’t gonna mind none, for how intimidating he can be, that guy couldn’t kick a puppy even if you forced him to. Shouldn’t you of all people know that? I think he likes you a lot more than he likes me to be honest. He’d let you get away with murder!” Chance appeared to tease, a mischievous smirk on their face. 

N7’s face flushed for a moment, his cheeks growing hot as he felt himself grow flustered at their comment. “I.. I wouldn’t say that, Guest likes everyone here equally, I don’t think I’m that special. He… has better judgment than that, I’m sure.”

Chance just shrugged at his flimsy explanation, “Whatever you say, pal. All I know is, he’s not gonna freak out just because you wanted to check on him.” N7 heard Chance's voice taper off into a chuckle, “I mean, why else do you think he lets you get away with acting like his nagging wife sometimes?”

N7’s brain lagged for a second until he processed what exactly chance had said. “I-I do NOT act like his nagging wife! What do you… When have I ever—?”

“Shush..” Chance put a finger to n7’s lips, instantly shutting up his string of flustered rebuttals. “You’re missing the point, man. Fact is, you’re overthinking this. You’re just checking up on him, not asking for a date. It’s not a weird thing to do, y’know? If you really think doing that is risky to your relationship with him then, well… life’s full of taking risks, some risks are more worth it than others. Reaching for a steep edge is better than just hanging there helpless on a cliff, you feel me?” They told him, their voice weirdly sincere under all that nonchalant attitude. 

007n7 was a little taken aback by chance’s advice, nodding after a small moment of silence. Maybe he was right, perhaps n7 was just majorly overthinking all of this. Guest was never one to shut him out or get annoyed by him, and despite 007n7’s best efforts, the man had an obscene amount of patience for n7’s shenanigans. A lot more than he ever really had for chance or even Shedletsky. 

n7 had opened his mouth to answer, when the front door opened all of a sudden, revealing a slightly disheveled Elliot with a look of irritation written all over his face. Strangely enough, what looked to be some sort of red paste was smeared all over his apron.

“Chance! Hurry up with whatever you’re doing out here and help me clean up the crap you spilled in the kitchen! I know you only came out here to avoid doing it, you’re not getting outta this that fast, you big slack off!”

Chance flinched when he heard the pizza boy, seemingly caught in the act. 

He chuckled nervously, slightly a crack in his usually smooth voice. “Haha, be right there, Ellie! Don’t worry, uh, I won’t take another second.” 

Elliot gave him a sharp glare, completely ignoring n7 and directing his anger entirely onto Chance for what felt like the first time in a while.

A small groan left Elliot’s mouth, “alright, but if you take any longer then I’m dragging you back inside. I mean it!” 

“Heh, got it pallio!” Chance gave him a thumbs up and waited until Elliot had given him one final glare and closed the door, sighing heavily. He turned back to n7, a nervous but smug smirk back on his lips, 007n7 just raised an eyebrow. 

“the old ball and chain, amirite?” 

007n7 rolled his eyes, “You two aren’t even together…”

“W-Well, we could be someday! You never know, a dashing hunk like me, and a cute blondie like him! And hey, maybe you and Guest could be too. I mean…  What exactly is the deal with you two anyway?” Chance was obviously trying to steer the conversation away from something that concerned him, but n7 did him one better, crossing his arms. 

“Do I ever ask you what the deal is between you, Elliot and Two Time?” 

“Touché, touché..” the gambler conceded, n7 caught him stealing another glance back at the front door, “look, all I’m saying is, if you want to go check on Guest, then by all means do it already. He’s not gonna explode. In my opinion, the only thing you’d need to worry your pretty little head about is getting struck by lightning on your way there. That has way better odds of killing you than Guest does.” Chance moved towards the front door, his hand on the knob, “I’d love to chat more but I gotta go back inside now, need to make sure Ellie doesn’t bite my head off. Do what you wanna do, just uh… be careful in that weather, man. Guest would murder me if he knew that I told you to walk through a thunderstorm by yourself. Not exaggerating.” 

“Wait.” N7 was able to force out, nervously picking at the loose skin on his cuticles. 

Chance’s gaze was on him, looking at 007n7 in anticipation as 007n7 fought to find the right response.

“Thank you, for uh… the help. I guess… I just needed that.” 

Chance gave him a cocky smile again, tipping his hat, “No problem, just helping out my elders. Next time you’re having doubts, just come to me. Adios, pal! Good luck with Guest, tell him I said hi!” Chance left as quickly as he had entered the room, leaving n7 alone. 

Helping out his elders, huh? A small part of 7n7 took offense at that remark, but he forced himself to let it go. Another explosion of lightning overwhelmed his senses again, thunder echoing through the storm. Well, if he wanted to pay Guest a visit, he’d probably have to do it now before the storm got worse, it might be midnight before it all stops. He stared vacantly at the amount of rain pouring down, wondering just how bad he’d get drenched as soon as he stepped off the patio and into the rain. 

He wished he could change into some other coat, since this hoodie was one of his favorites, not to mention that… well it wasn’t even his, it was Guest’s. Guest lent it to him once when n7 had… “injured” his arms so to speak. And n7 had just… held onto it, 1337 hadn’t asked for it back since then, he hadn’t really said anything about n7 wearing it either, and it was really comfortable so… it was sort of safe to say that n7 claimed ownership of it now. The fabric was nice, it was definitely a little oversized, but that was fine, if anything that made it more appealing for n7 anyway. He liked wearing loose clothing, so it was basically a win, at least to him. It even smelled pretty nice, like sage, mixed with a nearly smoky kind of scent. Cardamom and cinnamon, with hints of  rich rosemary and lavender. 

Which is mostly why he didn’t want to ruin it, it meant a lot to him. But if he took it off and went into the rain without any kind of warmth he’d probably catch a cold or get hypothermia. And he wasn’t really in the mood to get sick again, especially in a place like this, so it looked like he’d have to sacrifice the hoodie after all. Oh well, he could always wash it. 

007n7 pulled up the hood over his head, being careful to watch his horns, another reason he liked this hoodie is because of the fact that the looseness helped the hood fit over his horns and it usually didn’t get stuck on them if he was careful. Such a shame that he was about to get it absolutely drenched. 

He took a small breath, clenching his fists as he prepared to feel the cold water pour over him as soon as he walked even an inch into the pouring rain. 

He took a few steps out, and tried not to flinch when he felt the hard rain start dropping against his head, and subsequently rolling off of the fabric of the hood, or imbedding itself into it. He put his hands into the hoodie pockets, and slowly made his way towards the path that led to Guest’s cabin, and away from the main cabin. He watched his step, trying not to slick too much mud on his shoes. Seeing how muddy it was out here, almost made him think back to C00lkidd. He always loved playing in the mud, loved getting messy. Even at the despair of his father when he came back inside the house with his clothes all dirty. 

(Selfish, thinking about him isn’t going to help. I’m just being selfish… I’m not helping him by reminiscing, I’m just being selfish)

…

N7 blanked out most of the trip to Guest’s cabin, and before he knew it he was already there, right at the front door. He stared wistfully at the hunk of wood in front of him, his hoodie drenched, body shivering. And right on time, his mind started to speak, his brain already having second thoughts. 

“You’ll just annoy him, he doesn’t need you, stop trying to be so controlling over someone who barely knows you.”

“You’re being awfully selfish, you don’t actually love him do you? You just love what he gives you, what he makes you feel. What are you going to do if he finds out that you think so lowly of him, that you don’t actually care about him, you’re only using him for your own gain. That’s what you’re doing, even if you think otherwise, it’s what you do to everyone in your pathetic life—!” 

No, he thought, think about what chance said, I’m overthinking this! I walked all the way here in the pouring rain, I can’t just leave now. I’ll just knock, see that he’s fine, and go. It’s as easy as that!

So… just knock.

He raised his trembling hand, raising it to the door as his mind uselessly raced. Every bit of him was telling himself to leave, that Guest was probably fine, that he was being paranoid and delusional…

Telling himself that this is why people leave him. 

And maybe he would’ve given into those doubts, if he hadn’t heard heavy breathing coming from inside of the house, the sound of heavy rain hitting the roof and the pavement instantly deafened to his ears, his focus now on the sound of heavy breathing coming from the other side of the door. 

It was erratic, like someone was breathing buckets of air too quickly, in between rapid breaths, he could almost hear them groan and whimper in what sounded like pain. If he paid really close attention, he could make out their voice forming into incoherent mumbles at times. 

Guest… was he okay? N7 could tell it was him, who else would it be if not him? But… he’s never heard him like this before, his voice was muffled, but n7 could recognize that tone, the desperation in his voice. He wasn’t okay, n7’s instincts were actually right for once, though he considered that more of a bad thing than a good thing right now. 

Without thinking, he tried the doorknob, and mysteriously, it opened. Weird, since Guest almost always locked his door, even when he expected n7 to come over. 

N7 moved past the door and stepped into the cabin, feeling the warmth wash over him as soon as he stepped inside. It was ultimately short lived, as he heard the breathing get louder, and at that moment he could tell that it was coming from the bedroom. With every strike of lightning, every boom of thunder, it got more frantic, the mumbling getting slurred and rushed. 

007n7 pulled his hood down, slowly making his way through the cabin, eventually creeping close enough to the bedroom that he could vaguely make out the words being said. 

“D-Don’t… D-Don’t let them find you. Can’t let it… hurt you…  just… shut up, shut up! Gh… C-Can’t be found… if I’m… if they don’t… it… g-god, it hurts.”
the rest of the words were incoherent, there wasn’t much more he could make out with how frantically Guest was mumbling.

He sounded so… scared, the fear in his voice was palpable, it made n7 wonder, has this happened before? He was repeating those same mumblings over and over again like a mantra, like it would keep him safe. It pulled heavily at n7’s heartstrings, and he hadn’t even seen Guest yet, he’d only heard him.

When he reached the bedroom door, he carefully pulled it open, and was met with a sight that made him go pale in the face. 

A dresser was knocked over, whatever was previously on top of it had been scattered across the floor now. And near the corner… 

Blood. A small, red puddle of the stuff lay splattered on the wooden floor. 

And in the center of all that carnage was Guest 1337, huddled in the corner with his arms tightly wrapped around himself. When 007n7 looked at the man more closely, he could immediately notice where exactly all that blood had come from. There was a large slice on Guest’s upper arm, one of his hands was blocking n7’s direct view of the wound but he could still tell from the amount of blood covering the man’s hand that it was some kind of cut, he was probably trying to apply pressure to it.
That must’ve been the reason as to why he was breathing so heavily, he was hurt. From the looks of it he had probably lost a lot of blood, too. Why he wasn’t moving from where he sat or trying to get help was beyond n7, but now wasn’t the time to worry about that. 

N7’s body instinctively moved closer, his movements slow and careful, Guest didn’t seem to notice him, he just continued mumbling and panting.
Now that he got closer, he could see that Guest’s eyes were unfocused and glazed over, like he wasn’t quite there. N7 knew that kind of look, had seen it almost every time he looked into the mirror, but it was odd to see it on someone who was so optimistic. Someone who’s face didn’t deserve to look like that. 

His mouth moved before he could stop himself, his voice coming out softer than he thought it would, “Guest, what happened?” 

No response, only more heavy breathing.

He tried again, “You’re bleeding, it looks pretty bad. Do… Do you want me to go get Elliot or Dussekar?” He asked, but again, received no response. 

He was now a couple paces away, getting closer and closer while Guest did nothing but pant and let out pained, stifled groans. He wasn’t sure what to do, he’s never seen Guest like this, so small and fragile. Guest had seen 007n7 like this many times, he looked like he always knew what to do when he got like that, but n7 couldn’t say the same. Guest was a much more mentally stable person than 7n7 was, so this was a side of him that n7 was only just seeing. 

He stepped closer, finally deciding on an approach. 

“Hey, it’s alright. Uh, the storm’s bad, I know but just… focus on me alright? You’re bleeding a lot, I don’t know how long you’ve been sitting here like this, it could get infected… So let me help you, please?”
He whispered, already knowing that he was probably just making things more awkward. 

More silence passed between the both of them, Guest’s mumbling had stopped but his breathing was getting worse, n7 didn’t know whether or not he was escalating or de-escalating the situation. 

Once he had gotten close enough to hopefully not startle Guest, he crouched in front of him, concern burning all throughout his nerves.
“Guest… please just… say something—”

A fist collided with n7’s cheek, hard, and he found himself toppling backwards, he felt his glasses get knocked off his face as the hit sent him crashing to the floor. His face buzzed with pain, the ache started out numb, until it began to burn. 

Something warm dripped down his face as he lay there, dazed by the sudden blow, it wasn’t until it dripped down his lips, and seeped into his mouth that he noticed it to be blood. He pressed a hand to his face, flinching when his fingers grazed the skin where the blow was dealt. As he shakily sat up and reached for the blurred outline that looked like his glasses, something slammed into his body with the force of a freight train. A yelp of shock left his lips, the air getting knocked out of him. He blearily stared up at the blurred figure that was on top of him, slowly recognizing it to be Guest. 

Fear creeped up his back, hairs standing up on his arms as he stared at the man who was currently pinning him to the floor. He… he’s always known that Guest was strong, could always see what his strength was capable of during rounds, but he’d never been on the receiving end of that strength, not until now. He was almost glad that he didn’t have his glasses on, because then he wouldn’t see the sneer that was probably painting the man’s face.
Even through his blurred vision, he could see Guest’s arm raise, like he was getting ready to deal another punch to 7n7’s face. 

N7 squirmed, eyes widening in fear, he grabbed one of Guest’s shoulders, a silent plea for mercy. Guest seemed to have no reaction until he heard n7 blurt something out.

“W-wait! Guest, please… p-please, it’s me… don’t—!” He wheezed, not able to control the trajectory of his words, “please… don’t, I… ngh… can’t breathe. I just… want to help. Your arm… b-blood. you’re hurting me, please…” His voice was worse the second time he spoke, as Guest’s weight on his stomach made it hard to breathe let alone speak. 

He saw Guest abruptly jolt, like he just got up from a bad dream. N7 couldn’t see his face very well, but from his body language it looked like he was finally starting to recognize 007n7, as he immediately got off of him. 

As soon as Guest’s weight was finally off of him, his body felt like it just turned into putty. He must’ve taken a second too long to catch his breath, because before he knew it he felt two strong arms pulling him into a sitting position, it took everything for him to not pass out from sheer panic on the spot. 

His adrenaline had run its course, his brain was going foggy while he tried to process everything that just happened. Instead of letting himself go under, his limbs just went slack, his body leaning heavily against 1337’s chest. He tried to make himself reach out for his glasses, but his hand had just twitched uselessly. His ears rang, and he felt the soldier shake him, the man’s chest vibrating like he was yelling. It was only then, that 7n7 realized that his eyes were screwed shut, and that Guest was now resorting to patting his uninjured cheek just to try and get a response from him. 

Something even wiped at his nose, something that felt like a cloth was dabbing at the blood. Guest’s chest moved rapidly as 7n7’s head leaned against him, his breathing, it was getting even worse. 007n7 would move, tell Guest that he was fine, do something, anything to not make him panic even more. But his body wouldn’t listen, it was still in shock and trying to gather its bearings. He couldn’t say anything either, as his body felt like it had just been electrocuted, the room feeling like it was spinning. 

His senses came back to him one by one as it took him a second to reboot his brain, first he felt a small weight on his chest, then he heard the sound of thunder and what sounded like the words; “I’m sorry,” “please be okay, please be okay.” “Please forgive me, please, please i didn’t mean to” “stay with me, bud. You… you gotta wake up… come on now… don’t do this…” 

His vision was the next thing to come back, eyes slowly blinking open as his vision adjusted to the room. He noticed that his glasses were back on his face, meaning that he could actually see now. Guest must’ve put them back on him in hopes that he would actually respond. They were still on the floor, so Guest hasn’t moved. 

The first thing 007n7 saw, was Guest’s head buried into his chest, his blue hair right in front of n7’s eyes, nearly tickling his neck. It was now very apparent to 7n7 that Guest was straight up cradling his body, his grip on him tight but at the same time so soft, so careful. A hand gently stroked his hair, running fingers through it, maybe it would’ve been more soothing if those same hands hadn’t just punched him not too long ago. He wasn’t sure if that little revelation offset the pain that was throbbing in his cheek or not.

But he knew that Guest probably didn’t do it on purpose, he’d never do anything like that unless there was a reason, right? He was obviously scared, n7 probably just went about the situation the wrong way, he must’ve overwhelmed him, done something wrong. But he’d make it better, he could… make up for his miscalculation. 

007n7’s fingers twitched, and raising his hand up, he gingerly ran a hand through Guest’s blue hair, feeling 1337 jolt at his touch.

His voice was the last thing to come back to him, as he coughed, his voice quiet and hoarse.
“Guest… ‘m alright.” 

Guest immediately raised his head up, eyes wide and red rimmed, tears dripping down his face. His blue eyes—that n7 was so used to seeing softened—were almost shaped like pinpricks, his eyes raw with horror.
“S… S-Seven? You’re… okay?” He heard him mutter, n7’s heart broke at the guilt in his voice, it sounded so strained, like it pained him to talk.

“I guess you could say that, are you—?” He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as Guest quickly pulled him back into his chest, his arms tightly wrapped around 7n7’s waist, the desperation in the action was evident. His grip was tight, like he expected n7 to turn to dust if he let go.

“Oh god… o-oh god, I’m so sorry… I hurt you, I can’t believe I…” he softly cursed under his breath, “I’m sorry, god it’s… I thought I killed you… I thought you were dead. Damn it, fuck!”  

“Guest, it’s okay, I should’ve—” 

“No it’s not! I could have killed you if I hadn’t noticed sooner, I made you bleed, Seven! I punched you, for Christ’s sake. You didn’t do anything to deserve that, and I just… hit you for no reason!” Guest pulled back and held onto 007n7’s shoulders firmly, his face deathly serious. 

“Guest, look I’m fine, it’s not a big deal to me right now… you’re the one who—” 

“Not a big deal?! Are you kidding me?! You have a bruise on your cheek, your nose literally bled and you just blacked out! How the hell is that not a big deal to you?!” 

“Guest…”

“Why can’t you just take this more seriously? I hit you, f-fuck… I—!” Guest’s breathing started growing out of control now. 

“Guest—!” 

“No! Seven, I could have killed you… I hurt you! what could possibly be worse than that?!” 

007n7, in the heat of the moment, proceeded to grab Guest by the collar. “WHAT‘S WORSE IS THAT YOU’RE BLEEDING OUT, YOU IDIOT!” 

Guest immediately shut up when he heard n7 raise his voice, his face absolutely dumbfounded. 

N7 continued, already having enough of Guest not realizing that he was quite literally in more danger than n7 was right now, a punch to the face was bad yes, and so was a bloody nose, but 007n7 wasn’t actively bleeding out from an open, untreated wound at this very moment. His lips moved before he could stop them, frustration getting the better of him.
“I did not come here just to get soaked in the rain, punched in the face, all to not do the one thing I came here to do, which was to check up on you and see if you were okay! And right now?” N7 laughed incredulously, not a single hint of humor in it, “You’re certainly in worse shape than I am, bub! Adrenaline be damned!” 7n7 took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.
“Here's the deal, you’re gonna sit here and let me look at that wound, and you’re gonna let me treat it! And once that’s over we can talk about what happened when you aren’t actively bleeding out! Sound good to you?” 

Guest’s expression was one of shock, and probably fear as n7 still held onto his collar. He almost looked impressed under all that fear. The man nodded, not saying another word. 

“Good, now where’s your first aid kit at?”

“L… Left Cabinet, in the kitchen.” 1337 stammered.

“Thank you.” N7 got up to leave, swaying a little when his head still swam, but managing to steady himself without any help.

But just as he took one step away, a hand took his, and he looked down at the person who held it.

Guest’s eyes were pleading, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at n7, like he was silently begging him not to leave him alone. 

Guest spoke, his voice so small that 7n7 was surprised that it was coming from him of all people, “I’m… I’m sorry, I-I swear… I didn’t mean to… to…”  He didn’t finish, his eyes filled with pained guilt. 

007n7 crouched down again, his eyes softening at the man in front of him. He brought Guest’s hand up to his unbruised cheek, and nuzzled into his calloused palm. There was still a little bit of dried blood smeared on his hand, but n7 tried not to pay too much attention to that. He then leaned in, and cupped both the man’s cheeks, feeling the soft, damaged skin of Guest’s scars under his thumbs, n7 gave him a sincere look. 

“I know,” he whispered, in the softest voice that he could manage, “I know you didn’t. I-I’m not mad, just... shocked. I’m more concerned about you though. I’ll be back, I shouldn’t be too long.” 

Guest took a while to respond, his eyes searching 007n7’s for something, what that something was, n7 didn’t know. 

The soldier nodded and let go of 007n7’s hand. 

7n7 quickly left the room, speed walking to the kitchen as his mind raced. He wasn’t sure what to think, or even what to say. All he knew was that Guest needed his utmost attention right now. His eyes scanned over the cabinets and he walked over to the left one like Guest had said, opening it and predictably seeing the medkit. He swiped it, and made off back towards the bedroom. 

When he returned, he saw Guest slumped over, leaning against the wall as he applied pressure to his arm again. His breaths were deep, slow, notably pained. His eyes were closed, his face scrunched up in pain. All that adrenaline must’ve worn off, figures. The soldier groaned in pain as n7 kneeled next to him, medkit in hand. He flicked Guest’s forehead in an attempt to get his attention, and that he did, catching the man’s glossy blue eyes staring back at him, he almost looked relieved to see him.
“Don’t fall asleep, doofus.” 

Guest let out a weak chuckle, though even his smile looked strained, “wasn’t planning on it, not without you.” 

“Less talking, soldier. Move your hand so I can gauge the damage.” 7n7 said, clicking open the lid of the first aid kit.

Guest did as he was told, a low grunt coming from him as he let go of his bleeding arm. Frankly, now that n7 could really get a good look at it, the thing was worse up close. The cut was swollen around the edges as it bled profusely, purple bruising was apparent around one side of the cut, like he hit himself on something sharp before it cut the skin open. 007n7 had to repress a sigh of relief since his mind had initially thought that the wound could have potentially been… self-inflicted.
He was quite relieved that it was probably more the cause of an accident than the former. Surprisingly, it wasn’t infected, not yet. It was deep, but not wide enough to the point where guest would need stitches. It looked pretty painful, he was surprised that Guest lasted that long on the floor before n7 came in. 

“How bad does it hurt?” He asked, attempting to make conversation so 1337 didn’t fall asleep. 

Guest took a while to respond, his breathing getting shallow as he panted. He stirred slightly, eyes closing like he was deep in thought.
“L-Like hell… I don’t think I can move my arm much.”

“Mh, you need me to kiss it better?” N7 snarked, checking the box to see if he had all the materials he needed. 

Guest faintly hummed, “I’d like that.”  joked the soldier, a dopey smile settling on his lips. 

007n7 pushed down a laugh, forcing himself to pull a straight face. “Maybe I’ll consider it if you can hold still long enough to make this easy for the both of us.” 

“Deal.” Guest rasped, his voice getting softer. The blood loss was probably making him delirious. 

007n7 gently touched his arm, making sure not to touch too close to the wound until Guest hissed in pain. He took his hand away, and Guest bowed his head down, shoulders tense. N7 made sure not to touch the wound again, instead settling for getting out the bottle of antiseptic and a small cloth. 

He looked back up at Guest, seeing how weak he looked at the moment, his eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed like he was concentrating. Both of his fists were clenched, his body not moving a muscle. 

007n7 tapped his shoulder, “This is gonna sting, you ready?” 

Guest took a deep, stuttering breath, before he muttered, “as I’ll ever be…” 

007n7 hesitated for a moment, then quickly pressed the antiseptic soaked cloth onto the wound firmly, trying his best to ignore Guest’s hiss of pain when the rag made contact with the cut. 1337 whined as he dabbed the cloth against the bleeding wound, panting hard. Guest promptly slumped against n7’s shoulder, causing 007n7 to pause in his movements. He felt Guest’s heavy breaths against his neck, and he could only turn his head towards Guest’s and whisper soft reassurances into his ear. 

“It’s okay,” he murmured, resisting the urge to touch the soldier’s hair or comfort him physically. Something about Guest always turned on some kind of switch that triggered n7’s more physically affectionate instincts, and he never understood why.
“I know it hurts, just lean on me. It’s almost over, just gotta clean the wound some more, wrap it, and you’re done.” He reassured, like it was going to be the easiest thing ever. Like he used to do with C00lkidd when he would get hurt.

Guest only leaned into him more as he worked, n7 found himself pretty shocked by how warm he was, and in comparison he felt confused as to why he was leaning against n7 when the hacker was considerably wet and cold from the rain. Though he’d imagine that the main reason was probably because of the blood loss making him lightheaded and thus, extremely unsteady. Still, it felt weirdly nice that Guest was the one leaning on him for once.

He dabbed the wound some more, trying to wipe away the blood that wouldn’t stop seeping from Guest’s pale skin, he really did have to wonder how Guest lasted this long bleeding out without losing consciousness. That adrenaline must’ve really come in handy, he certainly wondered if Guest had to do something like this before, if he had some kind of prior experience to know how to stay awake while actively losing blood. Of course, maybe that was a stupid question, since this man was literally a soldier, of course he’d know how to do that, especially in high stress environments.

Finally, the wound was cleaned, at least to the best of 7n7’s ability. 

Better, still bleeding, but better.

N7 absentmindedly rubbed Guest’s shoulder with one hand, his other reaching into the first aid kit and pulling out the bandages and scissors. 

As he did that, he heard Guest whisper something odd, something he couldn’t make out.

“Pardon?”

“Shaking… your hands are… shaky. Colder than usual…” Guest mumbled, head still crammed into the crook of 007n7’s neck. 

Oh, he… hadn’t noticed his hands trembling. He attempted to steady them as he handled the bandages and scissors. 

“Oh, yeah. I, uh, got a little wet when I was coming here. Rain soaked right through my sweater I guess. It’s nothing unusual.” He shrugged, a bit put off by the man’s concern over him, since it felt quite misplaced at the moment. 

Guest frowned. “You… shouldn’t have come… all the way here. Running into a storm like that… is dangerous. You could.. get sick, Sev…”

N7 lightly scoffed, carefully wrapping the bandages around the wound, “Yeah? And if I hadn’t come here to check on you, you easily could’ve bled out right now and, you know… died. And I don’t think I’d want to carry your bloated corpse all the way back to the main cabin with the weather like this.”

“S-Sure… I’m sure that’s definitely… the reason.” He heard Guest murmur, a warm chuckle quickly turning into a hoarse cough. “Hey, Sev?”

007n7 hummed in response, fully engrossed in his work. 

That work was interrupted however, when he felt a calloused palm gingerly cup his bruised cheek, jolting him out of focus. He looked away from Guest’s arm, and their eyes met, that deep sapphire blue meeting copper brown. And it was only when he noticed a small, barely noticeable pressure on his cheek, that the hacker realized there was now a large bandage miraculously covering the bruise. 

“You… got a little something there.” Guest mumbled, his tired, glazed over eyes squinting up at 007n7 as the hacker stared at him in disbelief. 

“Did… Did you just stick a bandage on my cheek? Where’d you even—?” 

“Snagged it… while you weren’t looking.” Guest had a weak smirk on his lips, his head still leaned against n7’s chest. 

007n7 huffed, a small smile creeping onto his face. “I.. appreciate it, but you really didn’t have to, you shouldn’t waste your energy on me right now.” he resumed wrapping the man’s arm as he spoke, “plus, I could've just done it myself, you know.”

“It’s the least I could do, since…” Guest took a pained breath, 007n7 couldn’t tell if it was out of guilt or because of the pain in his arm, “l-look… M’ sorry… that you had to do this… especially right after I… I—” he paused, his breathing growing slightly ragged. 

“Hey,” 007n7 firmly grabbed the man’s shoulder with his other hand, “I told you, we’ll talk about that after I’m done here. For now, you need to calm down. Just try to relax, I can’t wrap the bandages when your muscles keep tensing.”

“Sorry…” Guest slurred, his breaths starting to steady again, “didn’t… realize you paid attention to.. my muscles like that.” 

“Shut it, you big sap.” 

“No… really, I guess I’m just… too busy admiring you to notice.” 

Already trying to make him flustered, huh? He could play this game too. 

“Hm, while you most certainly are making me blush,” he murmured in a completely deadpan tone of voice, “You really shouldn’t get ahead of yourself, 1337. After all, I’m way outta your league.” That made Guest laugh a lot harder than he thought it would, the man smiling so wide to the point that n7 could see his dimples showing.

“Yeah? You think so, huh?” 

N7 decided to push it a little further, wanting to see what would happen with Guest being as delirious as he was. “Uh huh, in fact, I’d say that I’m so out of your league, that I could make your wife blush if I wanted to.” 

Guest snorted, curling even further into n7’s neck, the action confusing 7n7 a little. When he next spoke, his voice was soft, raspier than normal, barely below a murmur. “I’m sure… she’d love you just as much as I do.” 

… 

What. 

Just as Guest had let that slip, n7 had already finished up with the bandages. His brain nearly short circuited just hearing those words leave the man’s mouth. And the worst part? He couldn’t tell whether or not he was actually being serious. A hot flush bloomed wildly in his cheeks, and 007n7 suddenly started growing quite flustered when he became aware of the position he and Guest were in, considering that his face was literally tucked into 007n7’s neck. 

I… guess I’ve just grown this… used to him.

He attempted to nudge Guest’s shoulder to get his attention, a way of telling him the job was done. But Guest didn’t stir, didn’t move. In fact, a lot of his weight was now shifted onto 7n7’s shoulder, his breathing was still considerably slow… did he actually fall asleep on him? Right after saying that?

“Guest?” He nudged him again, but only garnered a small, incoherent murmur from Guest. 

He… supposed he was fine with this. Just for now…

He attempted to ignore the weight or truth of Guest’s words, but couldn’t help but wonder if he had actually meant what he said. It was pretty hard to tell because of just how delirious he was, so whether or not he was joking was a complete mystery to the hacker.
Shaking off that… strange interaction, he moved himself to sit up against the wall, next to Guest, and positioned the other man’s head to rest in his lap. It took a bit of effort, especially because Guest was twice his size and was much more heavier than he looked. 007n7 swore, that man had to be made up of 85% muscle, he was sure of it. 

Guest had stirred, his head turning to the side, coincidentally facing where n7’s stomach was. 7n7 really had to resist the urge to not explode when he felt the soldier’s face pressed against his abdomen. Instead of freaking out, he settled for simply putting a hand on the man’s chest, his other hand carding through Guest’s soft blue hair. 

The rain outside continued to fall, the sound of it hitting the roof and windows was muffled by the cabin walls. And even so, 007n7 could still smell the cold dew through the windows. For a moment, it was just him, the rain, and the sound of Guest’s slow breathing. He had to suppress a couple of shudders from how cold it was, the wetness of the hoodie had clung to his skin, and as time passed, he really considered just taking it off. 

Finally, the overstimulating sensation of the wet sticky fabric had overwhelmed n7 to the point that he started to tug it off of himself, but before he was able to even pull it off, another explosion of lightning from outside pierced through the atmosphere, making him jolt heavily. 

Unfortunately, it seemed their moment had been cut short when Guest had shot upright and off his lap, immediately gasping for air. As the thunder roared outside, Guest had covered his ears, groaning in what sounded like pain while his breathing got even worse than it was before. 007n7 immediately moved to kneel by his side, his hands hovering over the shaking man uselessly. Guest was murmuring something in between his heaving breaths of air, almost exactly like he was earlier.

The murmurs got louder, to the point where 007n7 could hear what he was saying, “No… no! NO, NO! Ghk… too loud… too loud! H-Hurts… can’t… no... d-dammit. Not again, planes… can’t be there… again!” His chest was heaving so much that it almost looked like it was spasming. 

N7 had to act quick if he didn’t want a repeat of what happened before, if Guest hurt himself or n7 again, heaven knows how much he’d suffer. 007n7 did something risky, but he knew that it was better than just doing nothing and sitting there while Guest had a full blown panic attack. He hastily clutched Guest’s wrist’s, his grip gentle despite his speed, and pulled the man’s hands forward… and into his hair. 

Guest’s eyes were screwed shut, but even then 007n7 could tell that he was confused by the action, his hands shaking violently. 007n7 rubbed his hands with his thumbs as he gingerly nestled Guest’s fingers into his brown curls. 

“It’s okay, you’re alright, I’m here…” he whispered, attention solely focused on the man in front of him.

Guest didn’t seem to notice him, his eyes remaining closed, “No… No, I have to… they…  guns… can’t let them… hurt…” Guest gasped, his breaths stuttering. 

“Hey, no one’s gonna hurt you,” n7 firmly assured, continuing to rub Guest’s shaking hands, “you’re not in any danger… Everything's alright, I got you. Just… Talk to me, what’s in your hands right now?” He asked softly, shedding his previously snarky demeanor and making himself be as gentle as possible with 1337. 

It took a while for Guest to answer, at one point 7n7 nearly wondered if he could even hear him through all of the thunder rumbling outside. After a moment, he heard Guest speak in the smallest voice he’s ever heard from him, “H… Hair.” 1337 rasped, tears rolling down his cheeks silently. 

N7 nodded, feeling a rush of relief fill his nerves. “Yeah, that’s right. And how does it feel?” 

Guest had swallowed hard, like it was taking every ounce of energy he had to not start screaming. 007n7 wished he could just scoop him up and take all of his pain away. 

N7 felt Guest’s fingers shakily curl into the brown strands of his hair, but it didn’t hurt, despite his panic, it was like the soldier was purposely being as gentle as possible with handling 7n7’s hair. 

Another moment passed, and Guest eventually answered, “s… soft..” he muttered, voice gravelly as he swallowed again, “hair feels… soft.” 

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” 007n7 moved his hands to rub Guest’s wrists, holding them there, “pay attention to that for now. You're doing so good, you just need to breathe… alright? In,” he took a deep breath as an example, holding it in for a second, “and out.” He exhaled, waiting for Guest to follow. 

While it had taken a little, n7 eventually guided Guest to breathe with him, his attempts were rushed at first. But the man’s breaths had slowly begun to loosely match n7’s over time, every breath he took was hoarse, like his lungs had been deprived of air rather than the former. As his breaths steadied, so did his hands, the tremors running through the fingers in 007n7’s hair had lessened over time. As they carded through the curls, the movements became slower, less rushed and desperate. 

Once Guest’s chest had at least stopped heaving, n7 had spoken again, intent on getting him to focus on something other than the rumbling that could be heard from outside. “Do you remember where we are, Guest?” 

1337 took a slow, stuttering breath, “Cabin…  w-we’re… we were in m-my… cabin, weren’t we?” His tone was unsure, confused. His eyes blinked open, appearing almost dazed as he looked around the room, and then finally, at 7n7. 

“Yeah, that’s right… we’re in the cabin, see? It’s just the storm outside, no planes, no guns. You’re… not there, not anymore. You’re here, with me. And we’re safe.” 007n7 said, voice firm, but soft. 

Guest 1337 didn’t respond, his eyes looked almost vacant, if not for the bits and flecks of recognition that n7 noticed in his gaze. He said nothing for a while, did nothing too. 

N7 wasn’t sure what exactly might’ve been going through his mind until Guest did something he hadn’t expected. His hands moved faster than 007n7’s eyes could process. He pulled n7’s body forward, with such force that it was like the soldier couldn’t have waited any longer, and in the next few seconds, n7’s face was tucked firmly into the man’s shoulder. Guest’s embrace felt much stronger than it was earlier, because this time he didn’t seem scared to hurt 7n7, because he was actually comfortable now.
After a small moment of consideration, n7 hugged back, Guest had leaned into him even more in response. The man’s hands were fisted tightly into 007n7’s hoodie, his forehead pressed against 7n7’s sternum like he was trying to feel his heartbeat. 

N7 realized that he probably wouldn’t be able to feel it very well, since the fabric of his hoodie was pretty thick, and also currently very wet. He tapped Guest’s shoulder, feeling the man jolt slightly at his touch, before pulling back a little to look up at n7. His eyes looked swollen, almost bloodshot as his and 7n7’s eyes had met, he must’ve been tired.

“Hey, not to interrupt but… my sweater’s soaked, you mind if I take it off real quick? It’ll only take a second.” N7 asked, voice quiet as he held the soldier. 

Guest nodded silently, pulling back from n7, his shoulders slouched. His hands were folded neatly in his lap, and his head was turned away while 007n7 peeled off his hoodie, like he was looking away out of respect for the hacker’s privacy even though he was only taking off his sweater and nothing else. 

N7 felt relief wash over him as soon as the hoodie came off, feeling colder but much less overwhelmed by the sticky texture of the hoodie now that it was off. Now that it was off of him, he folded it up and roughly chucked it into the corner of the room without saying a single word. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that Guest appeared startled by the action, but didn’t speak up. 

007n7 then scooted back to lean against the wall, rolling up his sleeves a little and pushing up his glasses. Guest just sat there, staring at him like he wasn’t sure what to do, even tilting his head as if to question what n7 was doing. 

N7 gave him a look, tilting his head in return and spreading his arms wide, his eyes expectant. 

“What are you waiting for? C’mere.” He said, his tone cool but his voice relatively warm.

Guest looked away sheepishly, his cheeks dusted a light red. Still, he crawled over to where n7 was sat, and leaned forward. His hands hovered over 7n7, like he wasn’t sure what to do with them or where to put them, eventually he settled for just wrapping his arms around n7’s waist and pressing his face into his chest again. 007n7 ran a hand through 1337’s hair, feeling the man melt further into his chest, their roles switched once more as his fingers stroked Guest’s thick blue curls and soft strands. 

N7 felt like he was being hugged by a space heater, not that that was a bad thing. Guest was always so warm, 7n7 couldn’t imagine why he liked touching n7 so much if he was the complete opposite. In fact, he couldn’t really fathom why Guest liked him in general, he wasn’t special, his past was shady and he wasn’t really all that well liked by anyone else. The only redeeming quality that n7 felt he may have had was that he gave up hacking and even that wasn’t very impressive.

However 007n7 in comparison, liked Guest, he liked him a lot, but he wasn’t completely sure why either. He wasn’t sure why he got this weird feeling about him, like he never wanted anything bad to happen to him. He’s felt this way with his son, but that was because it was his son for crying out loud, it was pretty natural that he’d never wanted anything to happen to his baby. But Guest? It’s like that feeling had also come naturally when he was with him, especially right now that Guest was this weak and vulnerable. He just… got this weird urge to protect him. Was this how Guest usually felt during rounds?

He decided to put a pin in thinking about that, Guest needed his full undivided attention right now, he looked to be going through a lot more than n7 was at the moment. While he played with the man’s hair, he could feel himself falter a little as he felt Guest’s warm, steady breaths against his chest. The man’s touch was softer now, almost tender with how his fingers curled around 7n7’s shirt. 

A comfortable silence washed over them both, Guest would lightly flinch when the thunder and lightning from outside occasionally interrupted, but every time it happened n7 would softly whisper reassurances into his ear, calming him down. 

7n7 eventually spoke up, keeping his voice soft despite the slight unrest in him, “you… wanna talk about what all that was?” His tone wasn’t expecting, or prodding, he left room for Guest to avoid answering it in case he wasn’t ready. 

007n7 felt the soldier sigh into his chest, slightly readjusting himself and tucking his face into the crook of n7’s neck. “Just…. the storm just… triggered me, I guess. Couldn’t catch a grip… too much noise.” he murmured, his voice muffled against the fabric of 007n7’s shirt.

“Is that what happened earlier? When I came in and you…” he didn’t finish his sentence, as Guest immediately nodded when he had drifted off. 

“I see,” he murmured, humming a little, “Can you tell me what happened before that?” 

“Before… what?” 

“Before I came in, what were you doing before that?”

Guest faltered for a second, before taking a deep breath, “I… I guess…  At first I remember that I was only looking for my coat, everything was normal…  until it had started raining. Then the lightning started up… and I started to… remember…” his breath hitched, and n7 rubbed his back as he spoke, “k-kept telling myself that I was okay, that it was just the storm, nothing else. I was fine until… it got worse. And the lightning it… it got louder. Still couldn’t find my jacket and I just… started getting frustrated. After a while, the lightning got so loud that… it started to sound like I was back in the barracks. I… couldn’t stop myself… from remembering. Things kept flooding into my brain… things that I thought I got over, things that I… that I regret. Sensations, people I knew, the… smell.” His voice got low, and his grip on 7n7 tightened ever so slightly. 

007n7 continued to run his fingers through Guest’s hair, meanwhile, his other hand had gingerly rubbed Guest’s back as he felt the man’s breathing start to pick up again.

“Guest… you don’t have to—”

“No,” Guest steadied his breathing, saying that one word like it was final, “I… I have to do this, I want to. you deserve to… to know why I freaked out, why I cut myself…” he took another deep breath, this one much more quicker than the last, “why… Why I hit you.” 

N7 instantly regretted bringing this up, especially seeing Guest stressing himself out all over again. He didn’t want to pressure him into spilling all of his trauma right here and right now, n7 wouldn’t want to be pressured like that, he’s had that exact experience happen to him before. He’s not being fair to Guest right now, he’s just making this an even worse situation for 1337 by trying to talk about this. 

“Guest… if this is too much for you right now, then we don’t have to talk about it. You’re obviously stressed out from earlier, you shouldn’t force yourself to—”

“Please…” 1337 begged, n7’s heart broke at how utterly defeated he sounded, guilt and exhaustion taking over his voice, “let me explain, you need to… know, and I need to get it off of my chest. I can’t just pretend it never happened, won’t… help me in the long run.” Guest sighed into 7n7’s chest, his hair tickling the hacker’s neck. 

N7 was a little speechless, but ultimately understood what Guest meant. Of course 7n7 was being flaky about all of this, he never really liked dealing with his own emotions half the time, he should’ve predicted that he’d be extremely awkward in this kind of situation. He was more used to comforting 9 year olds, after all. 

7n7 softly exhaled through his nose, deciding to concede just this once. “Okay, just… take it easy.” 

Guest nodded, breathing in and out, his breaths against n7’s shirt were slow, as if he was attempting to keep it in tune with something. 

“I… the storm kept… going, it kept getting worse. The thunder and the lightning got louder, to the point where my ears started to ring. I felt like I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, I could only just… remember. My mind wouldn’t… stop replaying the noises, the… the bombs, t-their… the screams… 

“At some point I think… I tried to move my legs but… it felt like they stopped working and I started to stumble. Everything that happened next just… I think I blacked out after that. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor, there was blood everywhere… my body wouldn’t stop shaking, something hurt, but I couldn’t tell what.
And… my brain blocked everything else out from there. Then, when everything faded back in I was slumped against the wall for some reason, probably crawled there. The only thing I knew was that… I was wounded, there were loud noises everywhere. And I think… my body and brain felt like they were back there, thought someone… was about to hurt me, and…” he paused, taking another stuttering breath. 

7n7 could feel something wet start to seep into his shirt, and he held the man tighter. 

“It’s okay, take your time. I’m here, I got you.” He whispered, his chest twisting at the mere thought of how much pain Guest must’ve been going through earlier. 

He’s had… times where something similar happened to him, remembered how shameful he had felt the first time he’d gone through it. Those memories would always get triggered every time he had to go into a tight space, and it was humiliating, his heart would race, he could always hear his blood pumping through his ears as he fought to contain the panic peaking through the cracks of his composure. 

But no matter what, he could never forget what happened that day, could never forget how much his throat had hurt from screaming for help, hoping for someone, anyone to find him. He clawed at the walls, bruised and scratched up his own hands until his nails were messily filed down to the bone, his left arm had been extremely sensitive since then, he had even lost use of his hand for a month or two after the accident. 

…he’d never forget the hours he spent trapped in that damn hunk of pebbles. 

Guest stayed silent for a minute, probably trying to calm back down as the thunder rang from outside, his grip on 7n7’s shirt had tightened whenever a flash of lightning had struck. 

Eventually, he continued, and n7 could do nothing but listen. 

“I… I think… I was scared.” His voice wavered, he sounded like he was on the verge of breaking down, “I stayed like that for a while, dunno how long. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t breathe, I could only think. Everything felt like it was on fire, and… then I heard someone come in.” He shuddered, his temple pressing further up against 7n7’s chest, “I… I didn’t know—I swear I didn’t. It’s like my brain was just… forcing me to relive one of the worst moments in my life, the last moment I had before I came here…  I had the weight of a grenade in my hand all over again, everything in me told me that… that it was getting closer, told me to pull the pin and get it over with already, but… I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it… so I just—”

“Punched first?” N7 asked, voice quiet. 

Guest’s shoulders slumped, a large sigh coming out of him.
“Yeah… unfortunately. When I threw the first punch, and I saw… saw you on the floor, I couldn’t recognize you, I… I thought that you were someone else, and I thought that.. you were reaching for a gun… and without thinking about it… I tackled you, it wasn’t until I heard your voice clearly… when you cried out that… that I was hurting you, that I finally snapped out of it. And… here we are now.” 1337 finished, his body shifting like he was uncomfortable.

N7 subconsciously held on tighter to the soldier, his heart shattered into pieces from hearing everything that happened from Guest’s perspective. He… really was that scared, wasn’t he? If his reaction to the storm even with n7 in the room was that bad, n7 couldn’t imagine how terrible it must’ve been when he first started having flashbacks when the lightning first struck, and had no one there to help him.

And the fact that after all of that hell, when the man had finally snapped out of it, he was immediately greeted with the sight of 7n7, his friend, bruised and bloodied on the floor by 1337’s own hand. Needless to say, if 7n7 was in Guest’s shoes, he probably would have taken all of this much worse than the soldier currently was. 

As for… the punch. 7n7 couldn’t say he was entirely mad at him for it, he was definitely shocked, and not too happy about the whole getting punched thing. But was it really Guest’s fault if he didn’t know what he was doing? He wasn’t in the right mind when it happened, 7n7 knew all about that. Knew how it felt when his brain would keep painstakingly reminding him of things that he wanted to forget, sensations,  memories, thoughts that brought him nothing but pain at the mention of them.

And after all… Who was 007n7 to judge 1337 for doing that, when he’s had thoughts of doing much worse than that to people that he cared about? Including Guest. Sure, 7n7 never acted on them, never wanted to, but… he still had those thoughts, those scenarios that played in his head when he least expected it.

Those thoughts that he dare not speak, thoughts that would thoroughly make even Guest despise him if they ever got out. 

He chose his next words carefully, intent on not making this worse than it already was, “That sounds… pretty fucked up, I… I must’ve made things worse for you, huh? Barging in like that.” 

Guest went rigid at his words, eventually pulling back from the hacker and looking up at him with an intense look in his eyes.
“You… no, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who… I’m the one who hit you for fuck’s sake, all because I couldn’t get a damn grip.” A frustrated huff left Guest’s lips, his eyebrows tightly knitted together, “I’m the one who made things worse for myself, you… you were just trying to help, Sev. I had absolutely no right to hurt you.”

“Maybe you’re right, but you should know that… despite all of that, I’m not mad at you, I don’t even think I can really find it in myself to blame you either. I know you were scared, you told me yourself. Not to mention you were hurt, I can’t fault you for panicking and choosing fight over flight. You messed up, yeah… but I probably would’ve done the same in your situation.” N7 tried to reassure, but found himself feeling a slight twinge of regret when Guest had narrowed his eyes at his attempt at reassurance.

“No… don’t… don’t defend me, what I did to you was unacceptable. Even if I was…  that scared, it doesn’t justify shit. I shouldn’t have even gotten that worked up over everything in the first place, it… it was just a storm, for fuck’s sake. I’m supposed to be better than that, I’m supposed to be stronger than that. How on earth could I let myself hurt someone that I care about, someone who I’m supposed to protect? I… I must be utterly pathetic if I was so easily able to let myself stoop that damn low, hurting you… that’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do, but today I… I did it so easily, freaked out so easily. ” Guest protested, a conflicted glint to his eyes as he looked away from n7 in what looked like shame. Frustration was written all over his expression, but not at 7n7, no, it looked to be more at himself if anything. 

007n7 stayed silent, before sighing, putting a hand on the other man’s shoulder.

Stubborn, even now.

“Sometimes… things we do out of panic, or fear, they aren’t very rational. They don’t make sense, and you don’t know why you do them. Especially if it’s born out of some form of past trauma, and obviously I’m no… psychologist but, you looked like you were having some kind of… traumatic flashback. You were muttering to yourself, you didn’t look like you were really… here. All that noise had triggered you. So, that’s why I’m gonna give you a pass this time. Admittedly, I have to say that I’m pretty miffed that you punched me, not gonna lie to you on that one. It’s not something I’m holding against you though, you thought I was someone else, you thought I was gonna hurt you. I’m pretty sure you weren’t entirely in control of your actions either.” 

“That’s… not an excuse, not for what I did. I shouldn’t be freaking out this much about lightning of all things, I’m not six anymore. I shouldn’t be scared of it, I shouldn’t have… fucking PTSD flashbacks every time I hear Taph setting off a bomb or when chance fires his gun, or god forbid when something as small as damn thunderstorm happens! It’s not normal, it’s… not okay for me to… do that when I have to be at my best. I shouldn’t be like that at all.” Guest ran a hand through his hair, face puckering into a grimace.

N7’s lips tugged into a straight, firm line, the tips of his fingers tingling. “That’s a lot of ‘shouldn’t’s’  you’re using there, and even though you say you shouldn’t… you still are. I don’t think you realize, Guest… it’s not your fault, with what you’ve been through, it makes sense for you to… have those kinds of feelings. It’s normal for you to be set off by those things. There’s nothing wrong with having those moments, you just… have to learn how to get through them, it takes time.” N7 firmly rebuttaled, his grip on Guest’s shoulder tightening. 

“That’s… the problem though, I can never… fully control it no matter how many times it happens, no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. Some times are better than others. But I screwed up this time, and that dumb slip up made you pay the price for it.” Guest wasn’t budging on this it seemed, of course.

7n7 still insisted, “That doesn’t mean that you’re entirely at fault for—!” 

“It does,” Guest butted in, his hand reaching up and clutching the hand 007n7 had on his shoulder. “you and I both know that it does… you may not think so, but I know so…” 

7n7 huffed at that remark, looking away from Guest and instead choosing to stare at a random spot on the floor. His hand had fallen from 1337’s shoulder, frustration ultimately getting the better of him. He wasn’t necessarily going to drop this, but he could recognize that this was probably going to keep stressing Guest out if he kept pushing back. 

He kept quiet for a while, ignoring Guest’s eyes burning holes into his face, from where the hacker could see him, he looked like he wanted to say something. When 7n7 shot him a quick glance, he noticed that the soldier had looked almost apologetic. He attempted to ignore that look, those sad, stupid big blue eyes that bored into him. 

Puppy dog eyes… he was a sucker for those, damnit!

7n7, in his surreptitiously frustrated and irritated state, didn’t entirely notice a small weight settling down next to him. He spared a peek at the spot next to him and noticed a certain patch of blue hair right next to him, of course. 1337 was now by his side, not looking at him, somehow his presence was still warm to n7, even if it was lightly tainted with the tense atmosphere of their disagreement. The soldier’s head was ducked down, almost a mimicry of how he looked earlier when 7n7 had been dressing his wound. He had much more color to his cheeks though, which was good, since he looked hours away from death before n7 had patched him up. They sat there in silence for a while, at least it felt like a while to 7n7. And over that time, he took note of the state of the man next to him.

Guest’s chest moved slower, rising and falling at a somewhat natural pace. N7 was honestly perplexed that his lungs still worked, mostly due to how much he remembered Guest wheezing and heaving. But then again, Guest probably wasn’t an asthmatic like n7 was, the only reason n7 was able to get through rounds half the time without an inhaler at first was due to the amount of teleporting he had to do.

It was a living hell before he had mysteriously discovered an inhaler in one of the drawers of his cabin. It was old, and frankly looked like it only had a couple of puffs in it until it broke, but it was better than nothing. He used it sparingly, but over time his lungs had grown accustomed to the running that he did daily making it a little obsolete now. Since then, he’s only used it for emergencies. 

But back to Guest, n7 felt a small pang of odd satisfaction swell within him at the sight of Guest’s habits improving. Even if he could be doing better. 

The warmth of a large hand gently covering his made n7 blink, and when he had craned his head downwards, Guest’s hand had taken his. He didn’t look at 7n7, but n7 could still easily gauge that the storm was getting to him again, that and n7’s sudden silence. 

007n7 thought for a minute, going back and forth with his mind yet again as he thought about whether or not he should say something. 

Eventually, when his mind had started getting the upper hand, he forced himself to speak. 

“I’m sorry…” 

Guest turned to him, eyebrows raised, looking at n7 like he had just grown two heads. 

“For… what?” 

007n7 shifted, “For yelling at you earlier.” 

Guest took a bit to respond, like what n7 had just said to him was so incredulous to him that he needed a second to process it.

“I… it’s okay… I deserved that,” he murmured, n7 had opened his mouth to respond until Guest had beaten him to it, “I’m sorry for… hitting you. Like, really really sorry.” 

“I know you are.” N7 sighed, “and for what it’s worth, I forgive you, for the most part.” 

Guest gave him a funny look, a look that was so funny, that it looked deathly serious. “You… can’t just… be willing to forgive me that easily, Seven.”

N7 didn’t respond to that, letting the silence stretch for up to around ten seconds. 

Guest was the one that ultimately folded. 

“Seriously… d-do you want to hit me? You can hit me!” 

N7 immediately decided that he needed to shut that offer down. 

“Lord give me strength…” n7 muttered under his breath, “Listen, as tempting as that sounds right now, hitting you isn’t going to make me feel any better about all of this, Guest. And it’s not really going to fix the fact that what happened… happened.” He explained, only really half joking about the first part.

“But… there has to be something that I can do to—!”

N7 shut him down, not really wanting to take advantage of a situation that was this serious. “Guest, the one thing that you could do right now to make it up to me, is to shut up and accept my forgiveness.” He concluded their endless back and forth with that, and Guest had gone quiet. Like he didn’t expect 7n7 to actually forgive him.

Though the soldier eventually nodded, his posture was still quite deflated. 

They both settled back into silence, only it wasn’t exactly comfortable, just really tense. The only conversation that could really be heard was between the rain and thunder outside. Guest had still occasionally winced when loud bursts of lightning could be heard, his jaw visibly clenching even when it was only the thunder. He was looking out the window, blue eyes set in an intense glare that could honestly kill. He wasn’t breathing too fast, but n7 could tell that the noise was most likely going to get to him eventually if the storm had continued to persist. Probably not as bad as earlier, but it wouldn’t be pleasant for him. 

N7 had something come to his head, something that was personal, risky. He knew it could break the silence between them, maybe even be something that pushes them closer to one another. But… did he really wanna expose something this sensitive? It’s been years but… was he honestly going to trust someone he’s only known for a year with this information? This had to be oversharing, right? At least, that’s what his mind had kept telling him. This was risky, and he knew it. This could change how Guest thought about him forever, if this goes wrong he would be humiliated.

Well, Chance did say that life was full of risks… 

And he’s been hanging off that cliff for far too long. 

“Hey, Guest?” 

1337 startled slightly, his head turning to face n7, “uh, yeah?” 

N7 took a deep breath, “can I… tell you a story? Something that.. I’ve never told anyone else before?” 

Guest looked confused for a second, until he appeared to notice the sincere expression that 007n7 was giving him, “sure, you can tell me anything.” He nodded, seemingly not concerned with the storm anymore.

“Just one thing,” n7 paused, a cold wave of hesitation creeping up on him, “if… if you tell anyone about this, I’ll murder you.”

Guest didn’t appear intimidated by that threat, neither did he smile or laugh nervously. He just sat there, and nodded again, his face weirdly… understanding in a way that 007n7 couldn’t possibly put into words.
“I promise, whatever it is that you wanna tell me, I’ll keep it to myself. I swear on it.” Guest swore, mildly amusing 7n7 when he held a hand to his heart.

N7 made a small noise of acknowledgement, then took another deep breath, and began.
“Back when I was 6, I used to… try and get my parents attention whenever I could, by doing good or bad things. They never really paid much attention to me, I was always their last priority but… I wanted to test that. One of the things that I would do that wouldn’t immediately get them on my ass was hiding from them until they found me, which—to my dismay—didn’t really happen much. Guess you could think of it as… a slightly depressing game of hide and seek, one that… I always won. But surprisingly, I foolishly held out hope that maybe some day I’d finally lose, some day they’d care enough to find me. Never… happened a ton though.” Guest’s face was blank, but n7 recognized a small flicker of anger appear on his features at one point. He didn’t have to ask what exactly made him mad, it was pretty obvious that a certain detail from the story so far had been the cause.

N7 continued, “they… never found me usually, and eventually I’d come out from my hiding spot. It was a process that I did whenever I was bored. The part that always confused me the most was… why they never came looking for me, or why they didn’t… even bother to call my name.” He took a deep breath, the hard part of the story was coming up, “but one day, I thought of the perfect hiding spot, a place where surely, they’d come looking for me once they noticed I was gone. It... was a stupid idea, and I don’t know why I decided to even go through with it but… here we are.” Guest squeezed his hand when his voice wavered slightly, n7 made no comment on that.

“On that… fateful day, I happened to pick an old, nearby well that had been at the park by my house. I climbed in, and I waited… and waited, and waited. Until I started to see stars shining above my head, it was late, probably midnight by the time I had started to realize that… my parents weren’t going to look for me, and staying there wouldn’t be worth any sort of reaction that I might get from them. So, I tried to climb out, but… the walls were too slippery, and my small, grubby hands weren’t big enough to grip the bricks. I tried yelling for help, no one came. It was late, so why would they? When that didn’t work… I started to panic, I clawed at the bricks, scrambling to climb out of the hole I had dug myself into, to the point where my hands were covered in bloody scrapes. 

“The worst part was when…” a lump formed in his throat, his breath hitching just remembering the experience, “it was when I… had actually gotten close to clawing my way out, I was almost to the top of the well when… my hand slipped and, I fell back down. I hit the ground hard, and I heard something crack. Suddenly, my arm… felt like it wasn’t really connected to my body anymore. And I think I broke it to the point where I could see the bone jutting out of my skin, it was twisted in a way I knew wasn’t supposed to be. The pain was unbearable, I cried, screamed for someone, anyone to save me but… no one could hear me. The walls felt like they were suffocating me, I was trapped. I had nowhere to run. Everywhere I turned it was just the same stupid brick wall, it was cold, the dirty well water went up to my knees. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and a few hours after I broke my arm was when I realized that…”

he paused, a humorless laugh passing through his lips as his eyes watered slightly, “no one was going to save me, I was gonna rot there, until I was nothing. My parents weren’t going to find me, for good this time, I was the living definition… of fucked.” He recounted, voice wavering.

Guest had gone from clutching his hand, to now tightly clutching his shoulder, as if a way to say ‘you don’t need to tell me the rest if you don’t want to’. 

After a small moment of n7 regaining his composure, the soldier had spoken up.

“What happened after?” He heard 1337 ask, in the gentlest voice ever. It wasn’t pressuring, it wasn’t firm, just gentle. 

“Well, I don’t remember much, I think I just… blacked out most of the situation after that, but from what I was told, I think I was trapped in there for… around two days at least, no food, no water. I think I even vomited on myself a few times.” He explained, his tone somewhat casual. 

“T.. Two days? You were trapped in a well with a broken arm, like that? for two days?” He heard Guest ask, his tone almost disbelieving. 

7n7 shrugged, “Just about. Guess I… didn’t scream loud enough for anyone to hear me, huh?” He remarked, his tone laced with heavy sarcasm.

“That’s horrible, how’d you even manage to escape?” Guest asked, voice shrouded in horror.

The hacker hummed listlessly, “l didn’t, at least not on my own, anyway. Some couple walking their dog had heard me crying, saw me curled up in the well covered in blood and mud, and called the fire department. The rest is… well, I think I passed out once the firemen had gotten me out, then I woke up in the hospital with my arm in a cast. Doctor said that I got lucky, if I had spent just one more day trapped there, I could’ve gotten an infection and they would’ve had to amputate my arm. I remember having to wear a cast for almost a year I think. That was probably the only time I had ever seen my mother cry.” His voice was flat, face blank as he squished down the instinct to show any kind of emotion towards what happened. 

He finally spared a look at Guest, and saw the man staring at him with a look of anger and raw horror at what he had just told him.  

Still, he kept going, knowing that there was more to the story than just that, “that’s… only really half the context though, because a few years later, I remember playing with my cousin, pretty sure we were playing tag at his house. And he had this… small closet in his room, it had a lock on it, and when we were playing he had ended up tagging me, and accidentally pushed me into it. The doors shut and… it wouldn’t open, e7–” 

He stopped himself, before correcting what he said, “my cousin ran off to go get a lock pick I think. I thought I would be fine until… I realized that I was closed in, and my brain… drew a comparison to what happened in the well, and… I started freaking out. My heart was beating so loud, it was like I could only hear the sound of my breathing and heart beating as the walls of the closet started to close in on me. It was like my body just… went back to the well. I started crying, pounding on the doors. Coincidentally, just as I had started kicking at the doors with all my strength, my cousin had finally come back and unlocked the closet…

“And I… ended up kicking him in the face, pretty sure I accidentally broke his nose. When I saw what I did to him, I couldn’t stop crying. I kept apologizing over and over again, but even despite what I did to him, he… he looked at me and… for some, inexplicable reason… he hugged me. I never understood why he wasn’t mad, never understood why he didn’t cuss me out for doing something so stupid. Not… not until today.” He looked up at Guest, his eyes softening. 

“Sometimes, it all just comes back to you out of the blue, hits you harder than you thought it would. You can’t always control when and where it’ll come back to haunt you, there can definitely be times where… everything just spirals out of control. Some days can be good, others can be a complete shitshow… you just… have to learn how to navigate it when it does happen, and if you mess up, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re a burden, or that you’re weak, or not strong enough to handle it. It just takes time, it took a while for me to stop feeling like I was on the verge of tears whenever I’d have to squeeze into a tight space, even now I refrain from doing that.” 

Still makes me feel uncomfortable but… not to the point where I feel like I’m about to die. And… If I could do that, then you can too. Today was a bad day, obviously, but that’s a step in the right direction, you know? Next time it happens, just breathe, take it slow. And if you can’t… there’s no shame in messing up a couple times, heaven knows I always did. When you go through heavy things, shit you can’t forget, you can never really go back to being exactly how you were before. You just… need to adapt over time, healing’s hard, especially if you’re in a place like this, but it’s not impossible.” 

1337 stared at him for a moment, his gaze seemed deeper than the ocean, vast blue pools of sapphire peering into his soul. N7 stared back at him, not breaking eye contact for even a second, because he longed for this. Wanted to look at him, yearned for that spark they both had, and looking away would tear him from feeling that connection. 

Guest 1337 was quiet, really quiet, as if he was afraid to speak. The short moment of quiet didn’t feel awkward, but instead respectful, as they sat in soft silence. 

Guest made the first move, and leaned forward, inching closer and closer to n7, until he was close enough that n7 could see icy bright flecks of light blue intertwined into the brilliant sapphire of his irises. 

His hand held n7’s shoulder firmly, and for a second, his expression briefly flickered as he spoke, “You… really think I’m capable of getting better at… dealing with this?” 

N7 wasn’t expecting that question, but he answered it with complete certainty, his words genuine in every sense. “I know you can, Guest. If anyone can do it, it’s you. You just need to give yourself a little more grace, and you’ll be okay. And… no matter how bad it might get, I’ll always be here if you need to talk. No matter how much I might joke, I do care, there’s no shame in asking for help sometimes.” 

1337 appeared to take a moment to really process the weight of n7’s words, eyes solely trained on him, until he nodded.  “You could be right. I… I’ll try to… not be as hard on myself, I suppose.” He paused for a second, then spoke, “Thank you, for the help. I mean it.” He whispered, his voice oddly soft.

Then, strangely enough, he proceeded to hug n7, shocking the hacker as his arms wrapped around him. For some reason, this time Guest’s embrace felt a lot more personal, the soldier even squeezing the hacker much tighter. 

“Your parents sounded… fucking horrible, who the hell doesn’t notice their own kid missing? If I let Charlotte play outside and she was gone for more than ten minutes, I would’ve easily noticed that my damn daughter wasn’t back. Fuck, did they even file a missing persons report?” 

N7 thought for a moment, coming to a pretty quick conclusion, “I… don’t really know, when they were called to the hospital they looked surprised that I was even gone. So… probably not. To be honest, even if they did notice that I was gone, I think they would’ve thought that filing a missing persons report would’ve been a waste of their precious time. They were mods after all…” 

“Unbelievable.”

“Eh, believe it or not, that was sorta my reality for a good while, sucked but… it is what it is.” He said, a little flattered that Guest was really that mad on his behalf.

Guest scoffed, “if I ever meet your parents, I’d have some choice words to say to them.” 

“Funny, don’t think you’re gonna get much of a response from two graves, they both kicked the bucket ages ago.” N7 revealed, not missing Guest’s body going a little rigid at the hacker’s remark. 

“Oh.” 1337 said, he sounded sheepish, most likely caught off guard by that little detail.
“Well, still… that’s pretty fucked. I’m just happy that you managed to get through everything, even if it might’ve taken a while.” He held n7 tighter, his arms squeezing him again, “Thank you for uh… trusting me enough to—well, share this with me. Considering how I’ve been towards you today, I know it’s not easy. And for what it’s worth, you’re really strong, Sev. You always say you’re not but… you are, more than you realize. For being able to… put up with all of that and still be here today.” He whispered sincerely, voice coated in something so sweet that it made n7 have to hold himself back from shedding tears at that moment.

His face turned a light pink as he hid his face in Guest’s shoulder.
“Stop lying…” 

“I mean it. Really.” 

N7 sighed, before muttering a hushed but sincere, “thank you.”

Guest 1337… there was no other man in the world who both infatuated him, frustrated him, and made him open up more than he was willing to, all at the same time. He didn’t force him to, didn’t pry, but he just had that sort of pull, knew what to say. N7 didn’t know how Guest was able to make him feel so comfortable around him, the atmosphere that he brought to every conversation 007n7 had with him was intoxicating, contagious even. 

He wasn’t sure what it is he felt, he was scared of it, but wanted to welcome it at the same time. Despite some of their tiffs, he still found solace in 1337. He felt drawn to that connection they had, but was sometimes repulsed by the simple fact that Guest was just that important to him. But it was ultimately the truth. Guest 1337 was his friend, one of his closest friend’s, sometimes it felt like he was the only person in the world who actually understood him. 

N7 pulled back from Guest once he heard the rain start to calm, the storm wasn’t over, but the rain was somewhat light now. 

“Looks like the rain’s calming down a little.” N7 pointed out, eyes now on the window. 

“Looks like it.” 

They settled next to each other for a fleeting moment, just listening to the rain. The lightning had paused, not entirely passed since thunder could still faintly be heard. It was peaceful, peaceful enough that n7 felt his muscles slowly start to relax. 

“You know,”  Guest broke their shared silence, “You’re still really cold, I felt you shivering just now, even though you took your hoodie off.” 

That little observation caught n7 slightly off guard, since he thought he had hid it pretty well in the moment. It wasn’t anything serious, Guest had mattered a lot more to him than it being a little chilly. 

He brushed 1337’s concern off, “eh… Don’t worry about it. I’m really not that bothered by it..” Just as he had said that, an involuntary shudder went through his body, probably because Guest had called attention to the one thing that he was trying to ignore. 

Guest’s gaze on him turned skeptical, his eyes narrowing as n7 looked away and awkwardly coughed. 

Before n7 could move away or say anything else, he felt Guest’s arm suddenly wrap around his shoulders and pull him in, a small chirp of surprise leaving 007n7. His face was red when he realized that Guest had pulled him in to lean against his broad chest, his cheek squished against all of that soft muscle underneath his collar bone. He wanted to act offended, maybe scoot away to emphasize his point. Anything but make himself even more attracted to the feeling that the man regularly gave him, like a moth to a flame that burned so bright. 

He couldn’t resist it this time around, 1337 was so warm compared to how 007n7 was before that he actually found himself relieved for some reason. Whenever he let go of 1337, be it after a hug or just holding hands or something like that, he always found that he deeply missed that warmth that had frequently served as a reminder of his presence. The warmth that would instantly make him feel comfortable, understood. His brain had associated Guest’s presence to all of those things, and he couldn’t help but hate it, because he knew that… he’d never truly deserve it enough to cherish it. 

In the end, all he could really muster was a small chortle, followed by an affectionate, “I hate you…” a smile was stuck on his lips, it was even evident in his voice. 

Guest’s chest fell as he sighed, a soft chuckle passing through his lips as he held n7 close. “I love you too.” 

007n7 felt… content as they sat there with each other, he wasn’t sure for how long but it was pleasant, it even felt natural. 

But… something dawned on him before he could really let his happiness get the better of him, a feeling of dread that he knew all too well.

He shared something… and Guest now knew something that he had always considered as an embarrassing memory, he didn’t judge him but… he still knew now. It was 007n7’s decision, he wasn’t forced to tell him, neither was he pressured to. But it still scared him, that fear he’s always had of being perceived as anything other than an afterthought to those around him. He didn’t like being avoided or ignored necessarily, but at the same time it was something that he was so used to that anything other than that happening to him made him feel… irrationally uncomfortable for some reason. 

Every thought that came out of his mind right now was anxious, paranoid, overly pessimistic.

I’m so stupid, why would I tell him that?

I over shared, didn’t I? 

He can use this against me in the future…

He knows, this is so embarrassing, I shouldn't have said anything! 

I’m gonna regret this, I’m gonna regret this! 

He internally tried telling his thoughts to shut up, but that only made them more vocal. He attempted to calm himself down, he was comfortable, he didn’t want to ruin this moment for himself. His thoughts though… they just kept going and they wouldn’t stop.

He just kept thinking about how embarrassing it was, that he told something that heavy to the other man, that he actually let himself be vulnerable. He’s done this before with Guest but… never with something that was this personal, so tethered to his being. He’s told him about his… less than favorable habits, Guest had even been there for him at his worst. But… still, that pang of humiliation still arose in his chest despite his desperate reassurances to himself.

Finally, it seemed like his mind had gotten the better of him as he abruptly pulled away, earning a confused look from Guest 1337 as he stood up.  

“Well… um, it was nice talking but… I should probably get going now! The storm’s calming down a little so… you probably don’t need me anymore, right?” He stuttered, picking at his nails as he looked down at 1337’s utterly puzzled face.

“Wait… what? But—”

“It’s getting late, you’re obviously tired after all of that. I can see it in your eyes, I’m just keeping you up by being here.” He was technically telling the truth, he could see it in Guest’s eyes right now that he was exhausted, but probably fighting it. “My nose isn’t bleeding anymore, I treated your cut. We talked it out. So um… we’re technically even now, right?” 

Guest looked absolutely bamboozled by his sudden departure, like he didn’t even know what to say. “I… I guess so? But… can’t you—?” 

“Alright, cool, bye! Talk to you in the morning!” 007n7 immediately turned his heel to leave, not feeling as mentally prepared to deal with this like he was before his thoughts had ruined everything. 

Before he could actually get close to the door, he felt a large hand shoot out and grab his. He instinctively turned around, and was met with something that made his heart twist.
Guest looked uncharacteristically small as he stared up at n7 on one knee, a deep frown was thoroughly carved onto his lips, his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes were wide, watery, and he almost seemed… scared, not exactly like earlier, but in a different way. As if he was afraid of losing something. 

“S-Stop…” he stammered, his voice impossibly small, “I… don’t go, please… I… I don’t think I can be alone right now.” Guest whispered, his voice wavering. 

007n7 felt a painful twinge of regret stab into his chest, he just said he was going to leave him alone… and for what? Because he was embarrassed of something that he consciously chose to do? Because he couldn’t stop overthinking all of this? 

“Please… you don’t have to stay long, but… can you stay with me, just until the storm’s over? Or… until I fall asleep?” Guest begged, and simultaneously made n7’s heart shatter. 

007n7 realized at that moment that he had to get over himself, he had to fix this. He broke Guest’s spirit all because he was embarrassed, he had to take responsibility for that. 

Finally, he nodded, crouching down and gently holding both of Guest’s hands in his own, “Okay… yeah, I’ll stay. But… you need to get some rest, okay? I can sit with you while you’re falling asleep if you’d like, I uh… don’t mind.” He said, his voice soft, no quieter than a single breath. 

Guest 1337 quickly calmed at his answer, his shoulders untensing. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, words shaky. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Guest. You’re always doing the same for me… You should also probably, um… change out of your clothes by the way. Your sleeve’s all bloody.” N7 pointed out, helping 1337 to his feet. 

Guest was a little unsteady, but he held onto 007n7’s hands tightly. 

“Okay… I’ll do that, let me just… go pick up the dresser before I do that.” Guest looked a little embarrassed at remembering the knocked over dresser, n7 just squeezed his hand.

“I’ll help you.” 

“No, I’m sure I can do it by myself, Sev—”

“Guest,” 7n7 firmly called, “your arm just got cut open, lifting something heavy is gonna make it bleed even more. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” 

1337 was a little stunned at his insistence, but ultimately sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Alright… if you think so.”

007n7 tried to ignore Chance’s earlier remark about him acting like Guest’s nagging wife suddenly popping into his head. 

They both then proceeded to push the dresser back up, though it did take n7 a bit of elbow grease since he was much smaller than 1337 and certainly wasn’t as muscular let alone physically strong. But they did it, well, Guest did anyway. N7 was honestly surprised that he managed to do most of the heavy lifting with just one arm.

N7 startled when Guest had started taking off his shirt right in front of him, his face going red. He immediately turned around, nervously fidgeting with his hands as he waited for Guest to be done changing. He turned back around once he felt a small tap on his shoulder, 1337 standing behind him with a sheepish expression. He was now in a fresh T-shirt and shorts, surprisingly not in his purple pajamas that n7 had normally seen him wearing to sleep. Though maybe that’s because it was still a little humid, the only reason n7 felt so cold was because he had gotten soaked out in the cold rain. 

Guest looked at him, gesturing his head over to the bed, n7 nodded in response. The wood creaked beneath their feet as they both walked over to the bed together, their hands intertwined. 

Guest 1337 briefly let go of the hacker’s hand, slipping onto the bed and into the sheets, settling down to lay on his side. N7 sat down on the mattress next to where Guest was laying, watching the soldier get comfortable. The lightning had struck a couple times, startling Guest to the point where his breathing had picked up slightly. N7 had reached out to pat his shoulder whenever it happened, mumbling sweet words of reassurance to soothe him. 

At one point however, it seemed to get to 1337 a little too much. 

“Sev.” He heard him whisper, voice cracking a bit with just n7’s name alone. 

“Mhm?” 

Guest breathed in and out a couple times, his jaw clenched, “this is… really embarrassing for me to ask but… c-can you hold my hand?” He whispered, voice soft with what n7 could only guess was anxiety. 

N7 answered immediately, “yeah, of course I can. Don’t worry.” 

He took the man’s hand when he saw Guest reach out a little. He noticed that as soon as Guest had felt his hand, his stiff mannerisms eased, releasing a breath that he was holding. N7 felt the warmness of his hand, felt every callous on his hand, every tremor when thunder or lightning would abruptly start up. He felt how 1337 would occasionally give his hand a warm squeeze, felt the pulse pumping on his wrist at times when he really tried to focus. He mindlessly stroked Guest’s hair as he thought, the soldier melting into his touch like a bumblebee to a wildflower. 

After a while, what maybe felt like an hour exactly, he heard heavy snoring coming from the man who lay next to him. Guest’s head had funnily enough, been sitting right by n7’s lap, his temple just barely touching the hacker’s hip. He allowed a smile to stretch across his face, brushing a small strand of blue hair out of the soldier’s face. 1337 still held onto his hand tightly even in his sleep, and that was when n7 realized that there was no way for him to leave without Guest waking up. Well… 7n7 was tired as well, and the storm still persisted even after all the time that had passed… 

Aw well, to hell with it.

N7 unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off to reveal the thin undershirt that he kept underneath, and although his bare arms were now exposed, he didn’t entirely care. Guest was one of the only people that he was ever comfortable with seeing his arms, he was one of the only people that… knew, so to speak. They weren’t as messy as before anyway, he hasn’t been as stressed so… he hasn’t been feeling as much of a need to anymore. He secretly hoped that it would last, hoped that maybe one day it wouldn’t feel so instinctive. 

N7 proceeded to then place his shirt on the table next to the bed, and slipped his shoes off. Once he did that, he had taken off his glasses and hat as well, putting them off to the side. When all that was done, he moved to lie down next Guest, tail swaying a little in satisfaction when he felt the warmth of 1337’s body seep into his as their skin grazed each other’s. He reached up, one hand still clutched in 1337’s grasp, and gently moved another stray blue curl from his face. After a moment of hesitation, he moved a little closer, tucking himself into the soldier’s chest. His arms wrapped around 1337’s abdomen, and for once, he let his tail gingerly snake around Guest’s hips and up to his stomach. Guest shifted, only really pulling n7 a little closer. 

Yeah… maybe just a quick nap, just till the rain stops…  then I’ll go. 

N7 was burrowed into him, like he was clinging to a big old teddy bear. The way he held Guest was like how he used to bury his face into his old dog’s fur when he was around 5 or 6, that was one of his favorite things to do when he got stressed out back then. That old mutt wouldn’t even spare him a single glance, he was five times n7’s size when he was that age and yet… he was always so gentle, sometimes it felt like that dog looked after him more than his parents ever did. To the point where the damn dog looked happier to see him than his parents had when he came back from the hospital a few days after he fell into the well. He never did forgive his parents when they decided to get rid of his dog, even if he was old, he never really got over that. 

Guest obviously wasn’t a dog, nor did n7 consider him to be some kind of pet, but… he gave him that same comfort. His old dog was the only thing in the world that brought him comfort as a child, the only thing that he had felt ever really loved him. Guest was similar in a way, he understood, he was the only person out of the survivors that… loved him, so to speak. And… n7 loved him too, was scared that he’d love him too much sometimes. To the point where he wasn’t sure he’d ever truly admit that he loved him. 

Or maybe n7 was just really lonely. Probably that.

007n7 snuggled into him again, feeling the warm rise and fall of his chest softly press against his temple. His tail would start wagging if it wasn’t currently wrapped around him. His face was pressed into 1337’s chest, that scent from the hoodie instantly filling his nostrils as he took a deep breath. Lavender, cardamom, rosemary, peppermint, and sage. 

Everything he associated with 1337’s warm presence. 

He let himself slip into that comfortable warmth, as if the sunlight itself was seeping into his skin, bathing him in it’s soft serenity. 

007n7 fell asleep, not a single thought ruining this moment. 

When 007n7 next awoke, he stayed laying in 1337’s arms before reluctantly pulling himself away from the sleeping soldier.

The storm was over, like it never happened. Left over dew poured on the tree leaves outside, the window still covered in raindrops.
He could feel a small chill in the air now that the humidity had passed, and with that, n7 had put his shoes and shirt back on. Grabbing his glasses, then his hat.

Once he had done that, he quietly went into the bathroom and grabbed some cleaning supplies, then mopped up all the dried blood that was still visible on the floorboards. He’d worked up a bit of a sweat, though it was worth all the work to no longer see that little reminder. He put back all the supplies, like he’d never been there, and slipped back into the room without any noise.

Before he went, he walked back over to the slumbering man, and placed a small, featherlight kiss above the bandages on his arm. Fulfilling his earlier promise to 1337.

The man didn’t seem to notice, his sleep uninterrupted by n7’s action. Smiling, n7 tucked the blanket up to 1337’s shoulders, retrieving his discarded sweater from earlier and slipping out the front door without another word.

The cold breeze hit him when he was out the door, but it felt strangely comforting. 

The wind was quite chilly tonight, wasn’t it?