Chapter Text
The Emo Gays
Max: GUYS
Max: GUYS
Max: GUYS CAN ONE OF YOU PICK TF UP BEFORE I KMS
Hazel: chill out I'm here
Hazel: what is it
Max: WE HAVE TO DO A DUMB ART PROJECT WHICH ALREADY FUCKING SUCKS AND I JUST GOT GROUPED WITH LUIS
Max: I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO HURL MYSELF OUT A WINDOW
Felix: not sure why that's such a problem
Max: TF YOU MEAN
Max: IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM
Hazel: I'm watching my friend crash out over being partnered with his crush for a project
Hazel: how has my life come to this?
Max: OK FIRST OF ALL I'M NOT CRASHING OUT
Felix: you've been typing in all caps the whole time I think you're crashing out dude
Max: @Felix 🖕
Max: AND SECOND OF ALL I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT
Hazel: dude
Hazel: you're actually insane
Hazel changed Max's name to InDenial
InDenial: HAZEL I'M NOT IN DENIAL
InDenial: I'M MAD I'M GROUPED WITH HIM BECAUSE HE'S THE MOST INSUFFERABLE AND ANNOYING PERSON I'VE EVER MET
InDenial: I mean besides you guys ofc
InDenial changed their name to Max
Felix: rude
Felix: anyway yeah sure keep telling yourself that
Felix: meanwhile we'll watch from the sidelines as you give him heart eyes and become a radiator every time the guy breathes
Max: NO I DON'T WTF
Hazel: I bet ur literally a tomato rn
Felix: oh he is
Max: HOW TF WOULD YOU KNOW
Felix: Bro I'm walking down the hall and I can see you at ur locker ur literally redder than Red herself
Max: WHERE ARE YOU I'M ABOUT TO MURDER YOU
Hazel: @Squeaky @ Squirmy guys where are you?
Hazel: @Squeaky @Squirmy guys if you're reading this go get me some popcorn ts is entertaining
Max: @Felix AND ANYWAY EVEN IF I DID HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM
Hazel: 👀
Max: @Hazel stfu
Max: @Felix YOU'RE NOT ANY DIFFERENT WITH YOUR LITTLE ARROW BOY
Felix: oh you fucking didn't
Max: 💜
Felix: we've been over this
Felix: I think Robbie's a great guy but I don't like him like that
Hazel: uh huh, yeah and everyone in this group chat is straight
Felix: Haha very funny
Felix: stay out of this
Hazel: @Max OK so back to your little temper tantrum
Hazel: what's the problem? You're doing a project with him why is that the end of the world
Max: BECAUSE I CAN'T BE IN PROXIMITY OF HIM WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING STUPID AND LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT
Hazel: cough GAY cough
Felix: Max wdym? You always look like an idiot
Max: OK NEITHER OF YOU ARE ANY HELP
Max: @Squeaky @Squirmy GET YOUR ASSES ONLINE AND HELP ME OUT HERE
Hazel: they're not online bro ur on ur own
Max: OK you know what I'm done
Max: see you twinks tomorrow
Max has left the chat
Felix: so
Felix: you think he's ever gonna admit it?
Hazel: no
Hazel: I swear sometimes I want to shove them together and make them kiss bc atp it's the only way either of them are admitting their feelings
Felix: like I saw them at the party back in Wonderland they were not slick
Hazel: they're as bad as Red and Chloe smh
Felix: jfc are they still not together yet
Hazel: no
Hazel: last time I talked to Chloe she insisted she was straight
Felix: was that on opposite's day or april fool's day or smth
Hazel: no she's just an idiot
Hazel: and Red's just as bad
Hazel: she spent like 10 minutes straight, OK ten minutes gay, telling me how pretty Chloe was with her hair up and asked me for ideas as to how to repay Chloe for always helping her when she has nightmares or panic attacks
Felix: damn that's homo
Hazel: and then Chloe walked in and overheard us and said Red never had to repay her bc it was something she would always do, and that Red didn't need to give Chloe anything in return for basic kindeness, and the way I wanted to either throw up or punch them both square in the face
Felix: OK who do you think will confess first?
Felix: Chloe and Red or Max and Luis
Hazel: I think we'll all die before that happens
Hazel: they'll be 80 years old and insisting that good friends share a bed and wedding rings
Squeaky: hiiii :D
Squirmy: hi guys!
Squeaky: what's going on
Felix: scroll up and read everything
Squirmy: ok!
Squeaky: okie!
Hazel: anyway
Hazel: probably chloe and red tbh
Hazel: Max is a stubborn idiot
Hazel: well they all are but yk
Felix: nah I think Max and Luis will get together first
Hazel: damn really
Hazel: not unless we force truth serums down all four of their throats
Squirmy: oh wow I just read everything
Squeaky: same
Squeaky: @Hazel six of their throats
Hazel: @Squeaky ??
Squirmy: Robbie and Felix
Felix: WHY IS EVERYONE HELLBENT ON ME LIKING ROBBIE
Hazel: uh
Hazel: you called him cute, excitedly yelled "MY DUDE HI" when you saw him in the hallways, gave him a fucking flower because it "reminded you of him" ?? And blushed when he walked past you
Hazel: and that was all this morning
Felix: ...
Felix: shut up
Felix: you're making me sound gayer than I am
Hazel: ok whatever I'm done arguing
Hazel: so you think Max and Luis will get together first?
Felix: yeah
Felix: you think Chloe and Red?
Hazel: yeah for sure
Felix: OK wait wanna bet on it
Felix: loser has to do the winner's homework for a week
Hazel: OK sure
Hazel: I'm winning ts
Felix: ok BUT you're not allowed to interfere
Hazel: you mean we're not allowed help?
Hazel: we just stand and watch them be hopeless gays?
Felix: yeah sadly 😔
Hazel: OK whatever
Hazel: I'm still gonna win
Felix: yeah we'll see
Hazel: hell yea we will