Chapter Text
“You are such a nuisance.” Captain America scoffed, flinging his shield towards Spider-Man, who was already in the air to dodge the attack.
From behind his concealed face, Spider-Man’s lips curved upwards into a smirk. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Mister Captain America, sir, but you’ve said that over a dozen times, now. Please, do come up with something a little more original. These fights are getting a little repetitive.”
Captain America gritted down on his teeth, clicking his tongue at the comment, “It would stop being so repetitive if -”
“-you would just come with us!” Spider-Man said, joining in for the second half of the sentence, starting to laugh as he did. “Come on, you’re like an action figure who can only say the same three things!”
“He’s got a point.” The Falcon chuckled, landing on the roof beside the Captain, his eyes flicking up where Spider-Man clung to a nearby window.
Falcon turned his attention to Captain America. “You are pretty much just an action figure: Eat your vegetables!” He mimicked, putting his closed fists on his hips and standing proudly. “Don’t curse at your parents! Or, this has been a favorite of yours lately: Let’s make this peaceful, just come with us, and we won’t harm you.”
“Hey!” Spider-Man quipped, grabbing the corner of a building and flipping around above the duo, landing on a nearby HVAC system. “That was a pretty good impression.”
“Was it?” The Falcon smiled. “Hear that, guys? I got a compliment from New York’s favorite source of mass destruction!”
The smirk that had been on Spider-Man’s lips dropped.
He’s right, you know. All you do is mess everything up, all you do is enter people’s lives and destroy them.
Spider-Man pressed a hand to his forehead, wanting to scream at the voices in his head to just shut up for one damned second.
“Quit entertaining the kid, Cap’. I swear, arguing with him just fuel’s the little shit’s fire.” Iron Man, or more famously known as Tony Stark, scoffed, landing beside the Falcon and Captain America. “I’m getting tired of chasing this kid around New York every week, so can we get him and get this over with.”
“I’m sorry, Mister Stark, I’m afraid that’s just not going to happen!” Spider-Man laughed nervously, putting his hands up. “Queens needs me here, not sitting in some multi-million dollar building in a cell for the rest of my life.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t be in a cell.” Stark smirked. “I have a glass enclosures for little insects such as yourself. Maybe, if you’re good enough, I’ll permit you to have a little plant to decorate it with.”
“So… a cell. I’m not crazy, right? He’s describing a cell, right?” Spider-Man scoffed, scratching the back of his neck, quickly flexing his wrist, catching Falcon off-guard, sending him slamming into a nearby wall, grunting at the force. “Yeah, no. I’m afraid that’s not happening.”
“Hey, that was uncalled for.” Iron Man sighed, bringing his hand up as if he were to crease his forehead.
“Fuck, kid! That came out of nowhere-” Falcon yelled, straining against the restraints. “What is this made out of?”
“Sorry.” Spider-Man bit. “But, I’m afraid I’m not being taken anywhere.”
“Spider-ling. You’re obviously a younger man, twenty-five at the oldest. We can help you use your powers safely.” Tony sighed, raising his gauntlet towards Spider-Man. “God, I sound like Boy Scout over here.”
“That’s not a bad thing, Anthony.” Captain America scoffed.
Captain America turned away from the bickering Spider and Stark, pressing a hand on the comm piece in his ear, dropping his voice into a low whisper. “Nat, Clint, I’m going to need some assistance. Quickly.”
“I’m on the way.” Natasha replied through the comms, the voice ringing clearly through Spider-Man’s ears. “Be up shortly.”
“I’m above you, ready on your call.” Clint replied.
Spider-Man’s head snapped, his eyes (seemingly) locking straight with Captain America’s own. His voice dropped with the voice modulator he used. “Please, Mister Roger’s, make the call.”
“What - “
“You heard me. Make the call.” He said, raising his hand as if he was going to shoot the soldier. “Make the call, or I can string you alongside your birdie over here.”
Spider-Man’s hand extended left, catching an arrow that was spiraling towards him, not even flinching at the action.
“Hawkeye doesn’t seem to like me threatening you now, does he?” Spider-Man asked, stepping forward. “I would never hurt you guys, at least not intentionally. You’re New Yorkers, right? That’s who I protect. And I have this thing where, if someone is doing good deeds, I don’t necessarily like to hunt them down when they could be doing literally anything else.”
The Avenger’s stilled at the person, no mutant in front of them. A mix of fear and shock evident on their faces.
“So do me a favor, and leave me the hell alone, before I start doing things to make you have a problem with me.” The vigilante scoffed, letting out an exasperated sigh at his voice giving under him slightly causing it to crack, inspecting the arrow in his hand.
“A tranquilizer?” He questioned as he flicked his back wrist to place Black Widow, who was attempting to sneak up behind him, beside Falcon on the wall. “Is that comfortable?”
Black Widow opened her mouth to respond, to which Spider-Man promptly shot a web to prevent her from saying anything. “Oops.” He smirked.
“Kid-“ Falcon started to call out, and an identical web was placed in front of his mouth.
“As I was saying.” The vigilante cleared his throat. “A tranquilizer. That’s a new strategy. Smart idea - Clint, was it? But, it’s going to take a lot more than this to take me out. But, I would like to sleep a little better tonight, so I’ll entertain it.”
The team in front of him stilled as he lifted the arrow, slamming it into his left thigh, being cautious to not wince at his own action. He wanted to make them think he was indestructible. Someone they wouldn’t dare mess with. Someone who doesn’t lay on their bathroom floor, sobbing as they’re hit again, and again, and again -
He was not Peter Parker right now. Peter Parker is a weak, pathetic, and-
“… a fucking lunatic.” Stark muttered to Captain America, cutting off Spider-Man’s thoughts.
“I know.” Spider-Man laughed, quickly pulling the arrow out of his leg and throwing it at the pair’s feet. “So leave this fucking lunatic alone. Have a nice day, gentlemen. And, Ms. Black Widow… Ms. I’m sorry about the webs.”
The team stood in a horrified silence as he flung a web towards a building a good distance away, staggering to the edge of the building and leaping off the side, swinging away.
Clint scaled down the side of the connected building, jumping down. “I guess I’ll need a stronger tranquilizer next time.”
“I guess we need a different plan next time.” Captain America sighed, making his way over to where Sam and Natasha were still bound to the wall. “Tony, why didn’t you shoot him?”
“He was right.” Tony scoffed, a little aftertaste in his mouth at his admission. “He hasn’t hurt anyone, but god - is he an annoying little insect.”
“He’s an advanced individual.” Sam coughed as the web was peeled away from his mouth. “Fury’s pissed we don’t have this guy, yet. We don’t even have his identity.”
“That’s the point of catching him.” Tony nodded, extending a hand to help dismount Sam and Natasha from the wall. “And I can say with confidence, the guy seems to have a soft spot. And, we know he won’t hurt us.”
“But he’ll string us up like laundry.” Natasha spat.
“Stark, Stark is right.” Steve nodded. “He won’t hurt us. We can use that to our advantage. We will not fail again. We just have to lay out the perfect trap for this little pest.”