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Grace had always been…different.
Not for lack of trying! If it were up to him, he certainly wouldn't be like this. It sucked to be like this. Now, he only really knows some things about himself for a fact. Mostly, he knows that he's right on the borderline of an autism diagnosis. He certainly showed hallmarks, but never so strongly as to be officially labeled as such.
He also knows that he likes everyone equally. So he's always called himself bi (or pan depending on his mood. What can he say? He likes the flag of the former better.)
He'd tried to get into multiple relationships over his life. Linda was the longest, and she only managed to get eight months in before calling it quits.
Grace doesn't blame her at all. She wanted someone who was stable. She wanted to settle down and start a family. She wanted to go on dates, to flirt and call him her boyfriend. She wanted him to initiate sex, rather than her doing it all the time. She wanted him to enjoy it. To want it.
Ryland has always hated when his partners use 'boyfriend' to describe him. He doesn't know why. At first, he would explain it as just finding the term childish. But he understands that isn't very accurate.
It just makes his skin crawl! Surely he's not alone in that…right?
Well…it sure felt like he was. The few times he mentioned it to his friends, they looked at him like he grew two heads. Which was terribly reassuring. Still, he has plenty of things to focus on in his life.
Or rather, he had.
Okay, yeah, has. Right now, the main goal was survival. Not just his, but Rocky and the rest of Erid. They were working on a contingency plan…y'know…if they couldn't make it to the planet.
It was a variant on the intrepid Beetles. He called them Yoko and Ono. (And was grateful that a certain Canadian wouldn't hear about it. He shuddered at the thought of his reaction.) They could do every single thing right and still not get back. So this was their solution.
"Grace come watch Notebook with Rocky." His friend hummed, tugging at his pant leg.
The Eridian had created this new suit in response to an…incident they'd had. Ryland had gone through a strange period when they fully transitioned him over to Taumoeba around a year ago. His body tried its best to reject it, and in the next few days he'd started to show worrying signs. So much so that Rocky had resolved to bring the human some level of comfort. He hated hearing Grace cry.
Ever since then, the two would share Grace's bed whenever he slept. Rocky would squirm under the man's arm, huddling close.
It was so nice…wonderful even. If there's anyone he would want by his side when he died, it was Rocky. Though mentioning that would send his friend into an awful spiral. He loathed the idea of Grace dying, even in the form of a joke.
He doesn't blame him.
"Sure." Ryland stood, his back popping as he stretched. Thankfully, Rocky was long used to the strange sounds of the human body. He used to panic every time he so much as cracked his knuckles.
"Made nest, Grace will be very comfortable." Rocky told him as he climbed the ladder into the mental health node.
Nest, blanket pile, same difference in the alien's mind. He wasn't exactly wrong.
"Yup. Thanks buddy." Grace followed after Rocky, pulling himself up into the screened room, glancing around. There was indeed the promised heap of covers and pillows, already tamped down in the center. inviting him to relax. Who was he to ignore that?
Ryland settled down, sighing as the pressure on his hips eased.
"Is good?"
"Is great." Grace smiled at him, taking the controller from his friend. "Why the Notebook?"
"Poster human looks like Grace." Rocky pointed at the highlighted movie, and the actor who held up the lead actress.
"His name is Ryan Gosling. And yeah, I get that a lot." He gets everything set up for their daily ritual. "It's a romance movie. You sure you don't want me to find something else with him? There's Blade Runner, I like that one."
"No, Rocky want Notebook." He snorted, stamping a foot to make a point. "Is my turn to pick."
"Okay, okay. Notebook it is." Grace chuckled, hitting play.
Rocky snuggled against his side, rumbling happily. When he was content, the Eridian would often let out a very subtle hum. Grace called it purring. Rocky had no idea why or what it meant, but he took it in stride.
As far as the film…it's not like he doesn't enjoy the romance genera. But it wasn't really his favorite. At the best of times, they often just bored him. When he wasn't feeling good? They were like pulling teeth. Sometimes he'd catch himself digging his nails into the meat of his arms, but thankfully hadn't done any lasting damage.
"Grace is not paying attention."
He blinked. "I've already seen it. You just watch, okay bud? I'll be quiet."
"…Fine." He huffed, leaning into his friend's side.
It feels like the movie never ends. There's very little for him to enjoy with this one. But Rocky hadn't seen it, so who cares.
"Grace stop picking." The alien speaks up.
Glancing down, he had been pulling at a thread on his pants. As a result of his subconscious actions, what had been a tiny snag was now a hole he could fit his pinkie into. "Shoot, sorry."
"Movie upsetting Grace. We watch something else." Rocky sat up, reaching for the remote.
"I promise I'm fine! I can watch movies I'm not a big fan of for you." Grace snatched the little device, holding it out of his friend's reach.
"Grace should not force self to be uncomfortable just to make Rocky happy."
They were just words, but somehow they sting like he'd been slapped. A clear and heavy message that made him want the floor to swallow him whole. The man paused the movie. "That's true…but more for things like…oh I don't know…"
"Like when Rocky asked to see Grace naked?"
Now that one turns his stomach just as much as the day it had happened. Ryland was giving himself a sponge bath and had shrieked when Rocky walked in. They'd gotten into an argument where the alien reminded him that they were close friends, it didn't matter, and he could see through his clothes if he wanted to anyway.
"…Yeah." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I know I don't make a lot of sense for you."
Rocky is quiet for a moment before continuing. "Something bothering you…Rocky will listen."
Nooo, he'd rather not…but how can he tell Rocky no? He's so earnest and open with him. They had years ahead of them. He should be able to talk about anything with the alien. "I'm just not big on romance movies."
"They make you miss it?" The engineer theorized.
"No, I've never really liked them to begin with." Grace shrugged. He lets his hand roam along the faceted suit. "I just think there's something…out of place in my head."
"Why?"
He mulled over his next words for a bit. "Humans are…expected to be like this. Or similar. We're expected to all have a love story, to want to be dating, to get married, to have kids…I tried. I tried almost twenty times. But I'd always feel like I was just…keeping them happy. Performing an act. I'm a man in my thirties, I'm meant to want that. Not pretend for the sake of others."
Rocky trilled softly, but otherwise did not interrupt.
"But I…to be honest? I can't stand it. I hated dating. I hated sex. None of it felt bad, it just never clicked." Grace can feel tears prickling in his eyes. "Rocky I…I feel so broken inside. I shouldn't be like this. Why am I like this? I can't feel love, or lust. What's wrong with me?"
His throat clenched tightly, making the man devolve into sobs.
Rocky didn't hesitate. He pulled the man into a well appreciated hug. He purred to soothe his distraught friend. Humming a song with words Grace can't understand. He refuses to let go until the man himself pulled away.
"Nothing wrong with you." He stated firmly. "Grace just 𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝."
Dabbing at his eyes, Ryland paused. "Need word."
"𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝? Is Eridian who not want mate or eggs. Rocky friend 𝅗𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝𝅗𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯 is same." The alien helped, taking Grace's glasses and carefully pushing them onto his head so he can press a cloth against his eyes. "You not broken. Grace is perfect just like how is. Rocky think you just right. Grace is Rocky 𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯."
"Word?" He asked once more.
"𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅯…is piece you not know missing. Note you never notice until played in new song. Finish Rocky melody. What was needed all along."
…Soulmate. Rocky saw Grace as his soulmate.
"I'm not gonna be much good for you…I can't love you the way you deserve." He whispered softly, squinting to bring the alien into focus.
"Is more than one way to love, Grace."Rocky pointed out. "Who care if you not like movie? You make Rocky happy just being here. Never need anything more than this. Than Grace. You not broken. You is you."
He cuddled against Grace's chest, rumbling like an idled car. "And you is what Rocky need. Not more. Not less. Just this. Just us."
Tears threatened to fall again. "Where have you been all my life…" His voice shivered, on the verge of shattering.
"Been wait here for you. Found you. Save you. Saved by you. We go home."
Grace held him close again. He didn't understand it. Why Rocky was so different. How he understood the man better than he did. How he knew exactly what he needed to hear. But he did. He did and it began to heal a wound he didn't know he had. Stitching it up and keeping it clean.
He didn't care that Grace didn't like sex and romance. He gladly accepted him, warts and all.
"Rocky want watch different movie." He said eventually. "Car movie with guy that look like Grace."
"Drive?" He chuckled. "Sure. We can do that."
As they watched the studio credits roll by, Grace felt himself relax fully. He leaned on his friend. "…Hey, Rock'?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you…you're the best."
"Rocky just talking. Grace is who Grace needs. You find yourself. Rocky just give push." The alien brushed his compliment off.
"C'mon man, would it kill you to take a compliment?"
"You first."