Chapter Text
Ness panted heavily while masterfully dribbling the ball with his feet, spreading his magic by devouring everyone on the pitch. No longer having Kaiser to deliver the ball to, he was forced to take matters into his own hands as the heart of Bastard München. The game had gone into overtime, so there was no way in hell he'd give this up. Fans chanted his name, other players demanded passes from him, but he refused to listen. The mere thought of submitting to someone else other than Kaiser was sickening to him. Forcing himself to become independent, he threw away his team's philosophy to shape his own.
"Ness! Pass the ball! You can't do all of this by yourself!" His teammate shouted in the distance.
Players of the opposing team began to close in on him, so he had no choice but to give up and pass to someone. The burning image of Kaiser appeared in his mind once more, causing him to wish he never indulged in his fantasies. To forget about him completely would be a type of peace beyond comprehension.
Restricting his opponents from getting any closer to him with his hands, Ness sent a beautiful pass to the first player he saw open. The ball curved into the air with just the slightest backspin, ending in a teammate volleying it... straight into the goalkeeper's hands. For the first time in his life, Ness thought he'd have a mental breakdown right then and there. If it had been Kaiser that he passed to, it would've gone straight into the goal and all of this would be over. But now that Kaiser wasn't there...
The goalkeeper immediately punted the soccer ball across the field, and all Ness could do was watch it soar through the air while the opposing team went on to attack their defense. He tried running back, only for his legs to give out in front of everyone. It truly was humiliating, putting in so much work just for all of it to mean nothing. All that time he devoted to being the best for Kaiser, all those easy passes that were good enough for Kaiser, the amount of intimacy and understanding they had for each other... It meant nothing. Perhaps believing the impossible was stupid after all.
All he could do now was watch his team lose whatever chance was left of winning. They barely got into the knockout stage, and now all of it was going to be over. Helpless and extremely overheated from physical exertion, Ness closed his teary eyes, the sound of the final whistle blowing ringing in his ears. It was over, and now they were without a doubt eliminated. The irony of him being the heart of Bastard München and letting his team down was laughable.
A tall shadow casted over him, reaching out a hand. He looked up, only to see Noel Noa with a stern look on his face. Ness looked back down in shame, his eyes beginning to tear up even more.
"You played well. Now get up. We've lost, and that's that." Noa spoke, his voice as monotone as ever. Ness couldn't even tell if he was truly upset about it or not.
"I wanted to win. I'm just not used to playing without—"
"Forget about him. He is with another team and there is no changing his mind once he's made it up. Adjust and accept it." Noa lectured, leaving no room for arguing.
Ness still couldn't just accept that Kaiser never truly cared about him. He believed it needed to take some kind of courage to make a big decision like that and leave everyone behind. It had to.
Ness reluctantly took Noa's helping hand, getting off of the floor with trembling legs. Afraid he was going to cry, he quickly wiped his eyes until they were entirely dry. Despite trying to tell himself it didn't affect him, no longer having Kaiser's presence by his side hurt more than any wound. Tears pricked his eyes as Noa helped him get off of the pitch, and before he knew it, he finally let himself breakdown. He truly had no purpose or interest in the soccer world when he wasn't with Kaiser. He'd become so emotionally attached and dependent on Kaiser that he no longer knew what to do without him. His entire life's purpose was devoted to serving Kaiser, so what was he without him?
Ness shook his head, not even wanting to try to answer that question. It was easier to stop himself from spiraling anyway. Now he just wanted to get off of the pitch and never look back at it. The last thing he wanted was to realize how pathetic he looked breaking down in front of everyone. A moment to just relax after all of this sounded wonderful.
────────
Ness stood in a cold shower, fortunately being all alone. He was allowed to be vulnerable since no one would see, but big showers reminded him too much of Kaiser. Ness thought that somehow Kaiser would know he was thinking him while showering, which was already weird enough. The cold water ran down his hair and face, causing him to slightly shiver. It felt amazing on his legs, since his thighs especially felt sore. He looked up, the pitter patter of water on his face resembling rain. He always liked rainy days, at least that wasn't something Kaiser left his mark on.
Taking deep breaths to forget about the past, he turned off the shower water and stepped out into the even colder air. He always loved the freezing winter in Münich, so being cold never really affected him. He mistakingly reminded himself of Kaiser's birthday, causing him to feel upset again. There was nothing in the world that interested Ness more than devoting himself to Kaiser, and it was depressing to think about. He left the bathroom and went into his room, looking around and remembering everything.
The walls were once adorned with pictures of him and Kaiser laughing and having fun together. Most of the time, his apartment smelled a lot like Kaiser, and it was still very faintly there. Many times Kaiser would leave his belongings or his clothes just so he had an excuse to come back. Sometimes, they slept together, and now... All of that was gone within the blink of an eye.
Ness told himself he was going to regret this later, but still decided to go through with it; he opened his phone, deciding to check Kaiser's socials to see what he was up to. Everything in his body was telling him this was a bad idea, but he couldn't resist. Even if he was heartbroken, he wouldn't move on from him. He felt his hands began to tremble just slightly as he opened Kaiser's page, scrolling through recently posted pictures. Some were normal and typical, like being happy about transferring to a new team, sunsets, basic updates, etcetera, until he scrolled upon an older post.
A picture of Kaiser kissing Isagi in front of a sunset; just like they used to. His heart shattered into a million pieces as it hit him that Kaiser marked their relationship as 'casual.' He could feel his chest begin to hurt immensely. He turned off his phone and set it aside, not wanting to hurt himself even more. What they had was never special, and the mere thought of that sounded insane to Ness, but it was true. He was just another person Kaiser used as a stepping stone to success. He was nothing more than a phase.
His breathing began to quicken, his chest feeling tight, his body felt cold and stiff, and he could feel the tears beginning to roll in. He held himself tightly, despite being completely exposed on his bed. He could hardly believe this was the reality he was forced to live with. This whole thing in itself felt like a complete nightmare, one that he refused to believe not even for a second. He wanted to gag at the mere thought of those two being together, finding it absolutely disgusting. Yet, all he could do was cry and watch that revolting relationship bloom.
His phone unexpectedly buzzed loudly several times, making him wonder who was writing to him, especially so late at night. He turned his phone back on, trying to forget about what he just saw a few minutes ago. He came across several notifications coming from a group chat that was still very much active. Both confused and worried, he opened his phone. A chain of heated messages between multiple people wouldn't stop, and now it was all becoming way to fast to read.
────────
Genser
You couldn't just explain to us that
you were going to leave??
(+49) 23 7037 5692
I didn't need to explain myself.
This is exactly the reason I
fucking left. I cant always deal
with the bullshit you people
give me. Just fuck off and
forget about me.
Gesner
Alright fine then, you sad
excuse for a human being.
You really are a little dickhead,
y'know that?
Grimm
Please, just stop this madness.
He's made his decision, and
there is no going back on it.
It's not like he can just come
back to Bastard München.
(+49) 23 7037 5692
Maybe listen to Grimm you
dumb fuck. Don't call me or
text me ever again.
Kaiser?
(+49) 23 7037 5692
...
Mensah
Why was I added here?
(+49) 23 7037 5692 has
left the conversation.
Mensah
Oh...
────────
Ness blankly stared at his phone, realizing he just messed up the only chance he'd ever get to talk with Kaiser. He grabbed and tugged his hair out of frustration, which would've been comical if not for the circumstances. But, he definitely messed up big time. He turned on do not disturb and decided not to turn it off until he woke up the next day, deciding everything would be better that way.
His stomach growled loudly, reminding Ness that he hadn't ate since before the match. Despite being hungry, he hadn't felt like making an extravagant dinner like usual. Perhaps basic toast could help put weight on his stomach. Ness arose from his bed, deciding that just placing bread in a toaster and eating it plain would be good enough. As he went into his pantry to grab a slice, he wasn't entirely sure that he was still hungry. That entire conversation from earlier had him on edge, causing him to feel just the slightest bit nauseous. Ultimately, he decided he would wait to eat until morning. It was better than just forcing himself to eat when he simply just couldn't.
He crawled back onto his bed, his mind going over the day's events as he tried to relax. Closing his eyes, he could only hope that tomorrow wouldn't be filled with chaos and distress. Sleeping was never the same without Kaiser; especially since his scent always helped him fall asleep. God, life had been a lot harder on Ness without Kaiser, which was amusingly ironic to him. Despite not having his main factors to help him sleep, he was still determined to do so.
Ness shut his eyes tightly, clinging onto a pillow and holding it tightly to his chest. Although he was trying to relax, his entire body was stiff and tense. He knew he had a lot of pent up anger and frustration at the situation he was in, but it wasn't like he could do anything about it. A shaky sigh escaped his lips, full of distress and awaiting some kind of release of his feelings. Normally, he had multiple methods of getting rid of these negative emotions. Unfortunately, his methods decided to go through with joining a different club.
He stayed silent, letting his mind clear up on its own. If everything else was doomed to fail, he had no other choice but to just go through the natural process. Curled up in his bed, he let his thoughts race past without thinking about a specific one for too long. His thoughts were easier to manage this way. The moment Ness began running out of things to think about, a feeling of peace followed immediately after. He smiled just slightly, glad to finally have this feeling all to himself.
Ness fell into a deep sleep, exhausted from the day's events. He hoped that maybe someday, someone new would be able to rule his life. Someone even better than Kaiser.
────────
He woke up earlier than usual the next morning, his stomach growling loudly. He decided that now was definitely the time to have breakfast, since he was so hungry it almost hurt. He quickly stood from his bed, already thinking about what he'd create as he made his way to the kitchen. Perhaps a croissant to start would be nice. Walking into the pantry, he spotted them sitting like they were already waiting to be picked out. Smiling to himself, he happily picked them up, getting the feeling that today would go well.
Ness placed a single croissant on a plate, saving it for later. He went into his fridge, searching for the cherry preserves he made a few days ago, hoping it was still good enough to eat. A small wave of thrill washed through his body the moment he spotted it, snatching it from the fridge and opening to smell if it was still good. Luckily for him, it still smelled of sweet cherries. He perfectly cut the croissant into halves, placing them into a toaster until they had just right amount of crisp on the outside. He opened up the jar of preserves, taking a small scoop just to taste. As expected, it tasted sweet, fruity, and absolutely delicious. Now in a more joyful mood, he twirled back to the fridge to grab cream cheese.
Just as he was opening the container, his phone rang loudly. He wondered who could've been needing something from him so early. Ness stopped what he was doing, making his way to the buzzing phone. Oddly enough, it was Noa who was calling him. Noa never had much to say to him personally. Regardless, he answered the phone.
"Good morning Noa, you're up early today. What could've happened for you to call me?" Ness asked, a bit of worry overcoming him.
"... I'm up early every day, but I could say the same for you." Noa replied, his voice as stern as ever.
A loud and awkward silence followed his words, making it feel like this entire phone call was pointless. Ness decided to just get straight to the point.
"If you're calling to check up on me because of our last game, I promise I'm—"
"You're getting signed off to Barcha." Noa interrupted.
Ness couldn't have heard that right. He stayed silent for a few seconds, trying to decipher what he just heard. Maybe Noa called the wrong person.
"Come again? I'm not sure I heard you correctly." Ness asked, trying to hide the uprising anxiety in his voice.
"... I don't need to repeat myself. This is a good thing for you. Barcha's manager sees a lot of potential in you, and so do I. You'd do better being there than here. You're worth a lot, Ness. Don't waste your magic by denying this offer." Noa explained, his voice never wavering. Even when Ness was nearly going to break down into tears, Noa could still remain as stoic as ever.
Ness felt his breathing beginning to quicken, immediately prompting him to take a seat on his bed. Was this really happening? How bad could he have messed up?
"You're not serious, are you? What did I do wrong? I-I don't know what I did wrong... This can't be happening... This isn't real... Are you actually serious about this?" Ness babbled on, trying to figure out what he did to deserve this. He hadn't belonged anywhere else besides Bastard München, what was Noa thinking?
"I'm very serious about this. I know it might seem like I'm doing this because you aren't enough for me, but that's not the case at all. I'm doing this for you, too. Last match you showed me that without Kaiser you could no longer follow Bastard München's philosophy, and that's not a bad thing. I think you belong in a place where you'd have a little more freedom, like Barcha. Someday, you'll realize I'm doing you a favor." Noa responded, making it clear that Ness was undoubtedly going to Barcha.
Ness practically felt his heart shatter in his chest, but he had a feeling Noa was right. All the time, Noa was right. He had no choice but to say yes. He couldn't take any more heartbreak.
"Okay... I'll do it... But if I regret it all the blame is on you... And I won't forgive you." Ness complied, straining his voice just to get his words out without completely bursting into tears. Even if this decision was for better or for worse, he didn't have much of a choice anymore.
"Thank you for cooperating. I know this is difficult for you, but everything will be okay in the end. If it isn't, you can come back to haunt me to death. I will help you pack up, just send me directions to your place. Goodbye." Noa finally hung up, leaving Ness in silence. He didn't know why, but hearing Noa say 'goodbye' hurt more than anything.
Maybe it was time for a fresh start. With Kaiser leaving Bastard München and getting signed off to a new team, he realized that this chapter of his soccer life was over. Although starting new sounded horrifying, he had no doubt that this could turn out well for him. He got off of his bed, solemnly returning to his kitchen to resume making breakfast. This new information definitely had him shook. Finally finishing making his breakfast, he took a bite, slightly smiling and happy to be able to eat something so good.