Work Text:
For the past few weeks, Buck had been falling apart.
He kept thinking about what would have happened if he hadn’t sued Bobby.
If he had just listened to him.
If that damn fire truck had never crushed his leg.
Maybe things would have been different.
Maybe he would still have his family.
Instead, everyone was angry with him. Some more than others, but nobody had forgiven him completely.
The worst of it was Bobby and Eddie.
And what hurt Buck the most was that they couldn’t understand why he had done it.
Why couldn’t they see that, to him, the job had always been everything?
And the people he worked with weren’t just his coworkers.
They were his family.
He had sued Bobby because he wanted to get back to the only place where he had ever truly felt like he belonged. He wanted his life back. He wanted his family back.
And somehow, in trying to get them back, he had lost them completely.
Bobby wouldn’t let him go out on calls anymore.
Instead, Buck stayed at the station and cleaned.
The bathrooms.
The lockers.
The kitchen.
The common room.
Everything.
And whenever he finished, Bobby would find something else.
“Check it again.”
So Buck would.
He would go over every surface, every corner, every cabinet, searching for something he’d missed.
Sometimes Bobby would walk past him and simply say, “Again.”
And Buck would nod.
He never argued.
He never complained.
He just cleaned.
Because what else could he do?
Today, however, everything changed.
Buck arrived at the station like he did every morning.
He changed in the locker room, put on his uniform and headed to the gym.
He worked out until his muscles burned, desperately trying to exhaust the thoughts in his head.
When he finished, he grabbed the cleaning supplies and headed toward the bathroom.
He barely made it three steps before Bobby stopped him.
“Buckley!”
Buck turned around.
“Yeah, Cap?”
“You’re riding with us today. Jones has the day off.”
For a second, Buck just stared at him.
Then a smile slowly appeared on his face.
Finally.
Finally, after weeks of being stuck at the station, he was going back into the field.
He hadn’t been on a single call in weeks.
He hadn’t felt useful in weeks.
“Yes, Cap,” Buck said, trying desperately to hide his excitement.
He failed.
Bobby noticed the tiny smile, but said nothing.
Before Buck could say anything else, the alarm went off.
Everyone moved instantly.
Within seconds, they were dressed and running toward the trucks.
Buck climbed into the engine beside Eddie.
Their eyes met for a brief moment.
Eddie looked away first.
The drive to the scene was filled with the usual sirens and radio chatter, but Buck barely heard any of it.
His heart was pounding.
He was going back.
He was finally going to do what he was supposed to do.
The call was an apartment building fire.
By the time they arrived, flames were already visible through several windows.
Police were already on scene.
Apparently, investigators believed the fire had been deliberately started.
“Listen up!” Bobby shouted. “We have multiple floors affected. Police are securing the perimeter. We go in, search and evacuate.”
Everyone nodded.
“Buck, Eddie, fifth floor.”
Buck immediately grabbed his gear.
“Got it.”
He and Eddie ran inside.
The heat hit them instantly.
Smoke filled the hallways, making visibility almost impossible.
They moved from apartment to apartment, checking every room.
“Here! Clear!” Eddie shouted.
Buck moved farther down the hallway.
“Clear!”
He kicked open another door.
“Clear!”
Then he heard something.
A faint sound.
A sob.
Buck froze.
He turned toward one of the bedrooms and rushed inside.
There, curled up beside the bed, was a little girl.
She couldn’t have been more than ten years old.
“Young girl! Approximately ten!” Buck shouted into his radio.
He immediately crouched beside her.
“Hey. Hey, can you hear me?”
The girl looked up at him, terrified.
“I’m Buck. I’m a firefighter. I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”
She nodded.
“Good. That’s it. Just keep looking at me.”
Eddie entered the room.
“I’ll take her. Go check the other apartments.”
Buck hesitated for half a second.
Then he nodded.
“Copy that.”
He stood and disappeared back into the smoke.
He kept searching.
Apartment after apartment.
Room after room.
Then he found someone.
A man was lying near the entrance of one of the apartments.
There were no visible flames inside, but the room was already filled with thick smoke.
“Hey!” Buck shouted. “Can you hear me?”
The man groaned.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’m Buck. I’m going to get you out.”
Buck quickly removed his mask.
“Here. Put this on.”
The man took it.
Buck grabbed a piece of cloth from the floor and wrapped it around his own mouth and nose.
Then he pulled the man to his feet.
“Come on. Stay with me.”
The man leaned heavily against him.
They made their way downstairs.
When they finally reached the outside, Buck helped him away from the building.
“You’re safe now.”
The man suddenly stopped.
He ripped off the mask Buck had given him and threw it to the ground.
Buck frowned.
“What are you—”
The man reached behind his back.
And pulled out a gun.
Before Buck could react, the barrel was pressed against his temple.
“Nobody move!”
Everyone froze.
“Stay where you are or I’ll kill him!”
The man grabbed Buck by the back of his neck and pulled him against his chest.
Buck went completely still.
His body stopped responding.
His breathing became shallow.
The gun pressed harder against his skin.
Slowly, Buck untied the cloth from around his face and let it fall to the ground.
He could hear people shouting.
He could hear the engines.
The sirens.
But everything sounded distant.
Like he was underwater.
“Buck!”
Eddie’s voice.
Buck looked toward him.
Eddie was standing several feet away, his face completely pale.
Bobby stepped forward.
“Hey. Don’t do this. It’s not worth it.”
“Stay back!”
The man tightened his grip around Buck’s neck.
“Shut up! One more step and I’ll kill him!”
Buck’s eyes filled with tears.
He couldn’t feel his hands anymore.
He couldn’t feel his legs.
Was this it?
Was he going to die?
“Bobby…”
His voice trembled.
“Don’t come any closer.”
Bobby stopped immediately.
His eyes never left Buck.
Athena slowly stepped forward.
“Mr. Thompson,” she said calmly. “What do you need? What can we give you so you let our firefighter go?”
“Revenge!”
The man suddenly pointed the gun toward a woman standing beside one of the ambulances.
“I need revenge! I need her dead!”
Everyone looked toward the woman.
Then the gun was pressed against Buck’s head again.
“She wasn’t supposed to survive! She was supposed to die in that fire!”
Athena kept her voice calm.
“Mr. Thompson, we can’t kill her.”
“Oh, really?”
His eyes were wild.
“Then I’ll kill your man instead.”
He violently shoved Buck forward.
Buck stumbled and fell to his knees.
Eddie instinctively took a step forward.
“Buck!”
“Stay back!” Thompson screamed.
Buck’s hands shook against the pavement.
“She killed our children!” Thompson screamed. “She destroyed my family! You don’t understand!”
Buck swallowed hard.
“I do.”
The man stared at him.
“What?”
“I understand.”
“You don’t!”
“I do.”
Buck’s voice was barely audible.
The entire 118 stood frozen, listening.
Buck looked at Bobby.
Then Eddie.
His family.
The people he had been desperately trying to get back.
“I lost my family too,” Buck whispered.
Thompson shook his head.
“No, you didn’t.”
“After my injury…” Buck swallowed. “The person who mattered most to me—my father—wouldn’t let me go back to doing what I loved.”
Bobby’s expression changed.
Buck continued.
“The thing that was my life.”
His voice cracked.
“So I sued him.”
Bobby lowered his head.
“And because of that, I lost him.”
Buck looked at Eddie.
“And everyone else.”
Eddie’s eyes filled with tears.
“My team. My family.”
Buck took a shaky breath.
“I only wanted them back.”
The gun remained pressed against his head.
“I thought if I fought hard enough, if I did everything right, I could get my life back.”
A tear rolled down his cheek.
“But I lost them anyway.”
He looked at Bobby.
“I came back to work.”
Then Eddie.
“But I didn’t come back to my family.”
Nobody said anything.
Buck’s voice broke.
“And I know how fucking much that hurts.”
Thompson stared at him.
For the first time, he looked uncertain.
“I…”
He shook his head.
“You don’t understand.”
“I do,” Buck said louder.
“I really do!”
“Shut up!”
The man was crying now.
“I’ll kill you!”
Buck closed his eyes for a second.
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do!”
“You still have something to live for.”
“No!”
The gun shook against Buck’s temple.
“I don’t have anything!”
“You do.”
“No, I don’t!”
“Please.”
Buck’s voice was barely more than a whisper.
“You have to believe there’s something left.”
Thompson stared at him.
Then he laughed bitterly.
“If you were in my place, you’d want to die too.”
Buck didn’t answer.
The man looked down at him.
“Any last words?”
Eddie’s heart stopped.
“No,” he whispered.
Buck slowly turned his head.
His eyes found Bobby first.
Then Hen.
Chimney.
Eddie.
His family.
He memorized their faces.
“I…”
His voice trembled.
“Can I say goodbye?”
“Make it quick.”
Buck took a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry.”
His voice cracked.
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
Bobby’s face crumpled.
“I love you guys.”
Hen covered her mouth.
Chimney looked away, tears streaming down his face.
Then Buck looked at Eddie.
Eddie was crying openly now.
“I love you.”
Eddie’s breath caught.
“I’ve loved you for a long time.”
Buck’s lips trembled.
“More than a friend.”
Eddie shook his head, silently begging him to stop.
“I love you, Eddie.”
Buck’s voice became quieter.
“Tell Christopher I love him.”
A tear slipped down his cheek.
“And tell him I’m so fucking sorry.”
Eddie couldn’t breathe.
“Buck…”
Buck gave him one last, broken smile.
Then—
A gunshot rang through the air.
Buck flinched.
He waited.
Nothing happened.
He was still alive.
But he was too terrified to open his eyes.
He didn’t know what he would see.
He couldn’t breathe.
His chest was rising and falling too quickly.
Someone was screaming.
Someone was shouting his name.
He felt hands grabbing him.
But he couldn’t understand who they belonged to.
He couldn’t make sense of anything.
His ears were ringing.
His body was shaking uncontrollably.
Then everything went black.
⸻
Eddie had watched Buck the entire time.
He had listened to every single word.
Every confession.
Every apology.
Every broken “I love you.”
Tears streamed down his face.
He wanted to run to Buck.
He wanted to rip the gun out of Thompson’s hand.
He wanted to do something.
Anything.
But he couldn’t move.
Then the gunshot came.
Eddie closed his eyes.
He couldn’t watch.
He couldn’t see Buck dead.
Not Buck.
Not his Buck.
Slowly, Eddie opened his eyes.
And froze.
Thompson was lying on the ground.
Dead.
He had shot himself.
Buck was alive.
“Buck!”
Eddie ran to him.
He dropped to his knees and pulled Buck into his arms.
“Buck, look at me.”
But Buck didn’t respond.
His body went limp.
“Buck!”
Eddie held him tighter.
“Someone get a medic!”
⸻
They took Buck to the hospital.
The doctors ran every test they could think of.
Physically, he was fine.
No gunshot wound.
No major injuries.
Nothing that explained why he looked like he had just been pulled from the edge of death.
Eddie stayed beside him the entire time.
When Buck finally woke up, he shot upright.
His eyes darted around the room.
Panic immediately took over.
“Hey, hey.”
Eddie leaned closer.
“You’re okay. You’re in the hospital.”
Buck stared at him.
“You’re safe.”
Buck pressed himself against the headboard.
He didn’t look at Eddie.
He didn’t look at anyone.
He stared at the wall.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the gun again.
The barrel against his temple.
Thompson’s hand around his neck.
The sound of his own voice saying goodbye.
When a nurse came over and raised her hand to check his IV, Buck immediately flinched away.
“Sorry,” she said gently.
Buck didn’t answer.
Physically, there was nothing wrong with him.
But everyone knew that didn’t mean he was okay.
Some wounds didn’t show up on X-rays.
⸻
Buck was released later that same day.
Eddie drove him home.
Buck hadn’t said a single word since waking up.
At home, he sat on the couch and stared at one spot on the wall.
Eddie made him something to eat.
Buck didn’t touch it.
“Buck.”
Nothing.
“Please talk to me.”
Silence.
“I’m worried about you.”
Buck blinked.
But still didn’t answer.
Bobby gave both of them time off.
Eddie didn’t argue.
He wanted to stay with Buck.
Needed to.
The next day was slightly better.
Buck nodded when Eddie asked questions.
It was small.
But it was something.
Over the following days, Buck slowly started to come back.
He ate.
He slept.
He showered.
He even smiled once or twice.
But the nightmares remained.
Every night, he woke up terrified.
And every time, Eddie was there.
One night, Buck woke up drenched in sweat.
His chest felt tight.
He couldn’t breathe properly.
He sat up, desperately trying to catch his breath.
The bedroom door opened almost immediately.
Eddie rushed inside.
“What happened?”
Buck looked at him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
Buck swallowed.
“Just… a nightmare.”
Eddie sat beside him.
“You’ve been having a lot of those lately.”
Buck looked down.
“There’s no reason why I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then Eddie quietly asked:
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Buck hesitated.
“I dreamed he killed all of you.”
Eddie’s expression softened.
“Then he killed himself.”
Buck’s voice trembled.
“And left me there with all your bodies.”
He wiped his face.
“I’d already lost you before.”
His voice cracked.
“But in the dream…”
He took a shaky breath.
“I lost you forever.”
Eddie moved a little closer.
“I don’t know.”
Buck stared at his hands.
“I’m scared, Eddie.”
His eyes filled with tears.
“And I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I do.”
Buck shook his head.
“I’m sorry for everything. I was stupid.”
Eddie was quiet for a moment.
Then he sighed.
“Buck.”
Buck looked at him.
“What you did was stupid.”
Buck flinched slightly.
“But…”
Eddie reached for his hand.
“What I did was stupid too.”
Buck stared at him.
“I didn’t listen to you.”
Eddie’s voice was quiet.
“I didn’t even try to understand why you did it. I was angry, and I let that anger make me cruel.”
“You weren’t cruel.”
“I was.”
Eddie squeezed his hand.
“You needed me, and instead of supporting you, I made everything worse.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“But some of it is my fault.”
Buck looked away.
They sat in silence for a while.
Then Eddie took a deep breath.
“Buck…”
“Yeah?”
“There is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about for a long time.”
Buck looked at him.
“What?”
Eddie hesitated.
He wasn’t sure if he should ask.
But he couldn’t keep it inside anymore.
“That day…”
Buck’s face immediately changed.
“When Thompson told you to say your last words.”
Buck swallowed.
“And you said…”
Eddie’s voice broke.
“You said you loved me.”
Buck’s eyes widened.
“Oh my God.”
He looked away.
“Forget that.”
“Buck—”
“I was scared. I was trapped. I didn’t know what I was saying.”
“I did.”
Buck looked back at him.
Eddie’s eyes were full of tears.
“I knew exactly what you meant.”
Buck went completely still.
“Eddie…”
“I love you too.”
Buck stared at him.
“I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
Eddie smiled through his tears.
“Probably longer than I was willing to admit.”
Buck’s lips parted, but no words came out.
“I love you like I’m fucking crazy about you, Buck.”
A tear slipped down Buck’s cheek.
Then another.
But this time, he smiled.
A real smile.
Eddie slowly moved closer.
He lifted one hand and gently cupped Buck’s cheek.
Buck leaned into his touch.
Neither of them spoke.
They didn’t need to.
Eddie closed the remaining distance between them.
And kissed him.
Softly.
Carefully.
Like Buck was something precious.
Buck froze for half a second.
Then his eyes closed.
His hand found Eddie’s shirt and held onto it.
The kiss wasn’t desperate.
It wasn’t rushed.
It was everything they had been too afraid to say.
When they finally pulled apart, their foreheads rested against each other.
Buck let out a shaky laugh.
“So… you really meant it?”
Eddie smiled.
“Every word.”
Buck’s eyes filled with tears again.
“I thought I was going to die without ever getting to tell you.”
Eddie brushed his thumb over Buck’s cheek.
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
Buck closed his eyes.
For the first time since the shooting, he let himself breathe.
And for the first time in weeks, he didn’t feel like he had lost his family.
Because Eddie was still there.
And maybe…
Maybe he had finally found his way back home.