Archive of Our Own

Bamboos could die but the joints will stay

Flowers could fall but the fragrance will linger

- Shao Ye

Letting out a deep breath, shoulders lowering but remaining tense, Shang Qinghua met the sect leader’s gaze. Yue Qingyuan stared back silently, waiting for a response. Shang Qinghua — Airplane? Xiang Fei? Did those parts of him still exist at this point? — kept his face blank. This was the 47th time he’d been at this meeting. He knew that no matter what he said, things would go down the same path. It might split for a time, but he always ended up choking to death in the arms of his once ideal man, only to wake up again on An Ding peak.

It was always an hour before the meeting with his fellow Peak Lords. He’d wake up — heart trying to slam its way out of his chest — rush to collect his papers and pray that this time, this time he’d be able to change it.

He stopped being optimistic the 23rd time he woke up in his office after begging Mobei Jun to spare him. Swearing he hadn't betrayed him nor was he ever planning to, but nothing changed.

Every meeting, Yue Qingyuan would start with empty platitudes about cooperation and kindness amongst one's martial family. He’d blather on about the importance of bonds and what have you until someone would awkwardly clear their throat and the meeting would move along. After that, several Peak Lords would air out grievances, whether it was about budgets or something his Scum Villain had done to upset them again. It was all so… tiring. He couldn’t remember the first time anymore, but he had no doubt it had been exhausting back then too. It always was.

No, Liu-Shidi, I can’t give you any more budget for repairs! You already went through the emergency funds this month! And last month too!

Qi-Shimei, you spent half of your funds on silk instead of properly dividing it for food and clothing like you were supposed to, so deal with it yourself! 

Wei-Shixiong… You can’t just ask for money just to spend it on personal projects. That’s why I’ve denied your requests for weeks!

Of course, it didn’t matter what he said. In the end, the sect leader would frown and tell them of course Shang-Shidi can sort out the budget. 

With what?! Am I supposed to pull the money out of my ass, Zhangmen-Shixiong?!

Never mind that when Shang Qinghua had asked everyone to please turn in their paperwork on time because it made it really difficult for him when they didn’t, there was no sect leader there to back him up. Even his Scum Villain treated him better!

Sure, his “support” came in the form of an acidic comment about how useless his martial siblings were if they couldn’t even submit papers on time, but it was still support! And sure, it led to a loud argument that gave him a headache, but Shen Qingqiu was the only one who’d always do his actual work instead of expecting Shang Qinghua to take care of it for him. He respected that, even if he’d been the one to write him that way.

Someone cleared their throat. Ah, right, Zhangmen-Shixiong is still waiting for me to respond, isn’t he? Another sigh left his lips. Time to face the music.

“This one isn’t sure what Zhangmen-Shixiong is hoping to hear. I can’t create funds out of thin air. If this lord’s martial siblings want bigger budgets, then they must bring in more money for the sect.” was his final answer. He’d said the same thing in the previous loop too. And the one before that. It would lead to an argument, he knew, about how each peak brings in plenty of money and An Ding is clearly just incompetent when it comes to managing said money.

Letting the loud voices wash over him like water over sand, he kept his face blank and raised a hand when it became clear that Yue Qingyuan wasn’t going to do his job properly. Truly, the sect leader has been useful with his inability to say no and his kind big brother persona. Shang Qinghua had often used it to his advantage in the past, but it had become a source of frustration as of late.

“Look, this one is well aware of how much money each peak brings to the sect, despite how difficult his martial siblings make it to calculate it. The issue is that if a majority of the peaks are using up their budgets, this one’s only choice to “sort out the budget” would be to unjustly take money meant for other peaks and their budgets.”

There, he’d actually bothered to explain it this time. 

“What about emergency savings? Surely there is some money set aside for emergency situations?” 

“Well, Liu-Shidi went through both his own peak’s emergency funds as well as the sect as a whole both this month and the previous month, so there are none.”

“You spent all of the emergency funds on Bai Zhan peak instead of ensuring there was enough for all the peaks?!”

“Well I was told to expedite the repairs and ensure Bai Zhan peak was in good shape, so…”

The voices only got louder. Protests, blame, not an ounce of responsibility. Of course it was Qinghua’s fault that he’d followed the orders he’d been given. Of course he should have known better. Of course it was his failing that caused the emergency funds to run out.

His lips tugged into a frown. While he was no longer the easily bullied and socially awkward person he used to be, these meetings never stopped making him anxious. A part of him, the part that still remained of Airplane, wanted to please them. To give them all what they wanted, so they’d stop being upset at him. The greater part of him though, the part that was Xiang Fei, felt little but annoyance and frustration.

He may have created these people, but how was he supposed to know he’d be forced to deal with them?

Then again, my system was destroyed after the first loop. What’s stopping me from just… leaving?

He didn’t want to die again. He didn’t want to wake up and have to go through this meeting again. Why did he have to keep giving and giving? Why did he have to sacrifice his happiness and his life just to keep the sect afloat, all in some sad attempt to change his fate?

Standing up from his chair, he let out a soft sigh before walking away from the table. He could hear several peak lords ask him where he was going, and to sit back down as the meeting wasn’t done, but all he could muster was a simple wave before slamming the door shut behind him.

He knew it would backfire, this wasn’t his first rodeo after all, but he was going to snap if he stayed in that meeting. 

As he walked back to An Ding peak, his thoughts kept going back to leaving. He could, couldn’t he? With how many lives he’d lived, he was resourceful enough to make it. He could build himself a little cottage in a forest somewhere, hunt for food, forage and maybe even farm!

Yeah! He could totally Moondew Canyon it up! Sure, the first winter would probably be rough, but he was used to being cold. Far, far too used to being cold.

He’d manage it easily. Being uncomfortable was practically his entire life as a peak lord!

A sigh slipped out of his lips and his shoulders sank. It really did sound nice, but leaving a sect wasn’t that easy. Chances were his martial “family” would pursue him either to drag him back or to accuse him of being a traitor — the latter no doubt being spearheaded by his scum villain. 

But the idea was firmly stuck in his head. 

Each week that went by, it started fleshing out more. Plans on how to hide his tracks. Good areas that were close enough to civilization that he’d have the option to visit a village, but far enough from a sect that he was unlikely to be found. 

How to escape Mobei Jun.

The solution to the last point still eluded him, but he’d made pretty good progress on everything else despite how closely Shen Qingqiu had been watching him, making everything more difficult. Shang Qinghua was proud of his scum villain and his hard work spying on him, but it did slow things down significantly, having to evade questions about his recent behavior and strange new habits.

This one is simply looking for alternative ways to increase the sect budget so that the peaks can all continue to flourish without issue.

This lord finds it relaxing to work at night! There’s a certain peace that can only be achieved when the stars are in the sky and the world is asleep, you know.

Of course this lord is keeping up on his regular work! Any extra work being done is once the daily work has been completed, this one swears it.

For some reason, Shang Qinghua had the feeling his little villain didn’t believe him. 

Their uneasy dance continued for months, each meeting growing more tense. The other peak lords could surely tell something was up, but Yue Qingyuan was too spineless to ask after Shen Qingqiu hissed at him the first time, and the other peak lords assumed it was the usual spats the Qing Jing peak lord got into.

It wasn’t until his villain walked in on the aftermath of his confrontation with Mobei Jun that things changed.

Looking back, it was probably when Shang Qinghua realized he had more than one ideal man.

It had started like normal. Shang Qinghua had felt the sudden chill in his leisure house and had quickly piled his paperwork on the desk, rushing into the bedroom. He’d long since stopped caring about looking disheveled, considering the amount of times Mobei Jun had teleported in on him changing or bathing. Once, he’d just returned from a group mission and was covered in a number of different monster fluids he’d rather not think about. Mobei Jun had given him a disgusted look, but had taken his report with little issue.

So when he entered the bedroom, hair falling out of his bun and robe askew, Mobei Jun hardly raised an eyebrow.

His report was perfunctory and quick with hardly anything new. They usually were. That never changed no matter the loop, with it being habit more than loyalty at this point. The longer Mobei Jun thought things hadn’t changed, the longer Shang Qinghua could live.

It made it all the more terrifying to end their association.

“My king… This one… I…” Shang Qinghua started, making Mobei Jun close his portal. “This one can no longer spy for you.” The words felt heavy, his voice strained. 

“I… I will be unable to continue receiving information about this sect and the sects at large very soon… and so this servant humbly requests to be let out of your service.”

He’d thought his words over for a long time, pondered how best to handle his king’s temper. Be polite. Be respectful. Attempt to rephrase it from disloyalty to simply being unable to continue your service.

It wasn’t guaranteed to work, but Shang Qinghua wanted to at least try to mitigate Mobei Jun’s anger. 

And well… Mobei Jun betrayed Shang Qinghua first, didn’t he? The original goods might have plotted against him, but the system never demanded that of Airplane. He was loyal until the end, despite the beatings. Even if it was painful.

The first punch was expected, but he still found himself crumpling to the ground. He could hear the crunch as his nose broke under the force of it. A kick came next, and he felt his ribs crack. Blood bubbled past his lips as he coughed, letting out a pained wheeze.

“You dare betray this king?!” Mobei Jun roared, more strikes accompanying his words. Shang Qinghua tried to curl himself into a ball, covering his face as best as he could. He knew this was bound to happen, but he’d hoped to avoid it.

“You swore to follow this king for the rest of your life, Shang Qinghua!”

And he would have. He had. Several times! But he couldn’t explain that to Mobei Jun, now could he? He couldn’t explain that he’d served him loyally for so, so many lifetimes only to end up dying to the very person he’d given his loyalty to every time.

Still, he understood Mobei Jun better than anyone else. He knew why betrayal stung his king so deeply. It hurt him too, to do this, but he knew he’d never be able to kill Mobei Jun. He didn’t want to, despite the issues between the two of them. 

But I don’t want to die, either. 

Shang Qinghua lost track of time. Accusations and harsh words rained upon him, and frankly they hurt far more than the blows. By the time it ended, it was hard to breathe. His entire body felt like a giant bruise and he had no doubt several bones were broken. Opening his eyes, he met the furious gaze of Mobei Jun. His king was probably contemplating killing him right then and there.

Maybe something in Shang Qinghua’s face convinced him otherwise, pitiful as he looked. Maybe it was the years of loyal service that he did give Mobei Jun. Maybe it was pure luck.

Instead of finishing him off, Mobei Jun continued to stare.

“This king will remember. Should we meet again, there will be no mercy, Shang Qinghua.” The words were sharp and accompanied by the heavy pressure of demonic qi. Frost was spreading across the floor and walls, the chill creeping into Shang Qinghua’s ribcage. He tried to answer, his voice nothing but a raspy groan, before he simply nodded. He felt dizzy.

Crouching down before him, his king reached out towards his neck. Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop his flinch, the harsh movement sending pain radiating down his spine. But Mobei Jun didn’t change his mind. He didn’t suddenly snap his neck. Instead, he tore the token from around his neck. 

Of course. It wouldn’t make sense for Shang Qinghua to keep it, now that he wouldn’t be contacting Mobei Jun again. Part of him couldn’t stop himself from thinking this must’ve been how Luo Binghe felt, seeing his Jade Guanyin taken from him. Something so important to him, forever lost. 

Moments later Mobei Jun disappeared, nothing to prove his visit but the frost and lingering qi in the air. And the blood on the floor, but Shang Qinghua was finding it hard to process much at all beyond the pain in his chest. It was becoming harder to keep his eyes open, his surroundings growing blurry and his vision darkening.

Wouldn’t it be ridiculous.. If I ended up dying by Mobei Jun’s hands again…? Hah… Maybe in the next loop I’ll figure it out…

Letting out a rasping breath, Shang Qinghua closed his eyes, failing to notice the splash of green in his doorway.

Waking up to the sight of his scum villain was both a delight and terrifying. The cooling feeling of qi running through his meridians soothing some of the burning in his limbs. He was sure he still looked awful, but it was easier to breathe than before he fell unconscious so Shen Qingqiu was doing something right. 

The look on his villain’s face was sharp with disapproval, suspicion too, but he hadn’t left him to die on the floor, so that was a point in his favor.

He’d opened the window while Shang Qinghua was knocked out, the soft sounds of leaves rustling in the night. The way the moon shone through the window seemed to encase his villain in a halo of light. He was beautiful. Perhaps his fate would have been better, had he chosen to follow his scum villain, instead of Mobei Jun.

Shang Qinghua had a feeling he’d get absolutely reamed regardless though, and not in a fun way

The two stared at each other silently and it slowly became clear that Shen Qingqiu was waiting for his Shidi to open his mouth and talk himself into a hole. Xiang Fei and Airplane were both experts at that. Shang Qinghua would like to think he’d gotten better after so many deaths, though. 

“Shen-shixiong… This one is grateful for your help…” he started, unsure of how to continue. How do you express that you’re really happy someone saved your life but also please don’t ask why there was a demon in my home and why he beat me up?

Shen Qingqiu remained silent, removing his hand from Shang Qinghua’s wrist and cutting off the supply of qi. Flipping a fan open he covered the lower part of his face, eyes narrowing before speaking.

“This master advises his shidi to stop playing dumb.” The words sent a shiver down Shang Qinghua’s spine. Right, no nonsense. He should’ve expected as much.

“... It’s… a long story, shixiong,” he tried, part of him knowing it wouldn’t work. Nothing was going to distract him when he could smell blood in the water. “This one assures his shixiong that things are… solved. There was merely a… disagreement, between this lord and one of his contacts,” was his second attempt, despite knowing better.

His shixiong did not look amused.

Despite the qi he had supplied Shang Qinghua with, it was still hard to move. His body was covered in bruises — what he could see of it, anyway — and there were definitely internal injuries still causing pain. Perhaps that was why Shen Qingqiu didn’t bother to even threaten him. Didn’t need to. Shang Qinghua wasn’t going anywhere.

Letting out a sigh, he figured he had little to lose anyway.

“I’ve been working with a demon prince since I was a disciple and ended our contract today.” He took a breath. “My contact was displeased, obviously, and so I ended up… like that.”

“So this master was correct. You are indeed a traitor to the sect.”

“Yeah, more or less I suppose. Not like I ever gave him any particularly useful information about our sect, but he sure knows a lot about Huan Hua Palace, so I guess you could consider me a traitor to humanity in general?”

“You seem rather relaxed about this. Once Zhangmen-shixiong is informed of this, the kindest punishment you might receive would be exile, and this master can assure you he’d suggest far worse.”

The threat was clear.

Shang Qinghua was starting to get worried about his villain, but clearly everything was as it should be since he was threatening to kill him. Still, he’d only barely escaped death and he’d prefer it stay that way.

“Shen-Shixiong, respectfully this one doesn’t believe you have any intent of informing the sect leader.”

When in doubt, gaslight just a little! Sorry, Shen-Shixiong!

A perfectly plucked eyebrow was raised. “Is this your sad attempt at threatening me, Shang-Shidi?”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop himself from snorting with amusement.

“Threatening you? Oh no, this one would never even consider threatening his Shixiong! Besides, we both know you’d easily beat me in a fight. No, no. I know you can easily confirm that the demon is no threat to the sect. If you thought he was, you would have confronted me far sooner.”

It felt like he was channeling the original goods, just a little. It made him feel sleazy, and kind of gross, but he needed to. Needed to make himself less of a threat, just enough that his scum villain would let him leave without a fight. Even if the sect came after him later, he’d be able to hide from them just fine. No one knew his world as well as him, after all. Except for Peerless Cucumber, maybe.

“The sect is holding strong and will continue to do so, of that I have no doubt, Shixiong. As for myself, I have no intention to remain for much longer, and so this filthy traitor will no longer darken your steps.”

Shen Qingqiu remained silent, the visible part of his face blank and impossible to read. Still, he hadn’t interrupted, so there was a chance Shang Qinghua’s plan was actually working.

“So you see, there’s no need to inform the sect leader. At least not yet. Once I’ve left I have no qualms with it, should you wish to hunt me down.”

He really was just spouting bullshit at this point, but all he needed was one small opportunity and maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to talk his way out of the situation. Or a merciful end, if nothing else.

Shen Qingqiu seemed to ponder his words. Or plotting his death. With the look he was giving Shang Qinghua, it could be either.

“Do you believe this master is stupid, Shidi?” was what Shen Qinqiu ended up asking after the silence had dragged on far too long to be comfortable. “Perhaps you think your attempts to convince me to let you — a threat to the sect — go will work thanks to that pathetic face of yours?”

Ouch. That one stung a little, he had to admit. He knew he wasn’t the most handsome, but he didn’t look that pathetic normally. 

Letting out another sigh, Shang Qinghua steeled himself.

“Would they even believe you, Shixiong?”

He knew that his words would hurt. That he was poking at an insecurity, sticking his fingers into an open wound. But he wasn’t the anxious and scared little An Ding peak lord anymore. “Would the sect leader not simply assure you that surely, surely pathetic, sad little Shang-Shidi would never do anything to threaten the sect? It must be a misunderstanding, right?”

It was kind of sad that he didn’t even doubt his own words. He wouldn’t even need to act much, for Yue Qingyuan to believe his Xiao-Jiu was merely paranoid. It was unfair, and wrong, and Shang Qinghua was relieved he didn’t have to deal with Yue Qingyuan’s brand of favoritism, double edged sword as it was.

“You know I’m right, Shixiong.” He continued, throat burning from the poison he was spewing. “He wouldn’t tell you why he abandoned you in that place, why would he be on your side now?”

Shang Qinghua could see Shen Qingqiu’s face grow paler. His eyes widened above the fan, and he heard a sharp inhale. He didn’t like it, using his knowledge against his Shixiong like this. Despite making him a villain, Shang Qinghua didn’t hate him. In fact, he didn’t hate most of his creations, despite how they’d turned out in the end.

“... How dare you..!”

He expected a slap, or some kind of violence, but… Despite having unsheathed Xiu Ya, the blade uncomfortably close to his throat, Shen Qingqiu made no move to actually slice him. His hands were shaking. Shang Qinghua’s was too.

“I dare because each and every day I’m disrespected, Shixiong! If I’m not being looked down on because I’m “merely” the logistics peak lord, I’m expected to solve every damn problem in this sect! If everything is going well, I’m a waste of resources! If something goes wrong, I was supposed to have fixed it before the fact!”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop himself from yelling. It was the only way his parents would listen to him, would acknowledge him, even if they’d write off his words as mere complaints grounded in selfishness. The sect had tried to beat the habit out of him, but they never really succeeded.

“You think I don’t know how it feels?! To be treated like a child? To have people lie to your face claiming it’s for your own good? I spent years being beaten because I gave my loyalty to someone I hoped would come to respect me! Just like this sect! Years of loyalty and what did it get me?” He was panting now, fists clenched tightly.

“Pity and lies. That’s what it got me, Shen-Shixiong. Just like I’ll never be respected here, Zhangmen-Shixiong won’t ever give you the answers you want. You could be on your deathbed, and that wouldn’t change,” he spoke, his voice growing quieter again. He was so tired. “If you don’t believe me, go ask him about Xuan Su. Ask him why he never unsheathes the sword.”

The room was silent, after that. Neither man in the room seemed to want to speak, or know what to say. It wasn’t how Shang Qinghua wanted to do this. In fact, things might have been easier if Shen Qingqiu hadn’t helped him at all. Either he’d bled out on the floor and ended up back in the loop, or he’d somehow survive and manage to slink off to lick his wounds.

When Shen Qingqiu eventually stood up and moved to leave the room, Shang Qinghua’s shoulders lowered, the tension in his body seeping out. He knew his Shixiong would be back, no doubt furious, but he had no energy to actually try to run away. 

He honestly just wanted to sleep.

Sleep and dream of a better day.

He pretended not to notice the tears running down his cheeks. If he didn’t acknowledge it, then none of it was real, right?

By the time Shen Qingqiu returned, Shang Qinghua was starting to feel a bit more alive. Whatever adrenaline he might have had was clearly running out as his entire body protested the slightest movement. Still, he’d managed to drag himself out of his bed and across to his bedroom desk. There hadn’t really been a plan, more so he just wanted to move. 

Kneeling at his desk was definitely making him regret it, his legs growing numb quite quickly, but he felt a little more like himself when he turned to look at his shixiong.

Shang Qinghua had been right, the man was furious. His hand was clenched so tightly around his fan it was a miracle the wood hadn’t snapped. Clearly the sect leader had kept quiet despite the hint Shang Qinghua had given his shixiong. He had to admit a small part of him had expected Yue Qingyuan to say something. At least a hint. But to think he truly felt so ashamed he couldn’t see how he was killing his Xiao-Jiu was… sad.

I’m the one who wrote him that way though. No matter how you look at it, this is technically my fault hah…

The moment Shang Qinghua worked up the courage to say something, he let out a yelp instead as Shen Qingqiu grabbed him by his collar, fan forgotten on the floor. 

“Tell me WHY!” The words were hissed out, as if it cause him pain to utter them. Considering he was essentially giving Shang Qinghua the right to say “I told you so”, as well as admitting the sect leader didn’t say shit, it probably did hurt. 

Recovering from his shock, Shang Qinghua gave his scum villain a tired look.

“Would it change anything if I told you? I’m not the one you want the answer from.” The way his voice softened would probably be taken as mocking from Shen Qingqiu, but he couldn’t help but feel bad for him. It really was his fault that both the sect leader and the scum villain never got to reconcile, after all. “If you really do want the answer, I can give it to you, but… would it be worth it?” Even before he finished his sentence, he knew his Shixiong would likely still demand answers. He couldn’t blame him either. Spend the rest of your life in uncertainty, or finally get the answer you’d carried heart demons seeking out? There was no question about it.

“Tell. Me.”

So he did. He explained how Yue Qingyuan had rushed, had picked a sword he wasn’t ready for and ended up having a near lethal qi deviation. How he’d been locked up in the Ling Xi caves for a year. How he’d gone to the Qiu estate after getting out only to find it burnt to ashes.

Shen Qingqiu didn’t even ask him how he knew during his explanation. Whether it was because he didn’t care, didn’t believe him in the first place or some other reason beyond Shang Qinghua’s knowledge, he didn’t know. 

He briefly wondered if his Shixiong would run back to the sect leader and ask more questions, but instead he seemed to just… shrink into himself. He let go of Shang Qinghua’s robes, moving his hand up to his face, as if to cover it with a fan, before realizing his fan was on the floor.

Giving him a cautious look, Shang Qinghua quickly crouched down to pick it up, holding his hand out towards his Shixiong. Without a word, Shen Qingqiu quickly grabbed the fan before spreading it, covering most of his face. Moments later he turned around, leaving Shang Qinghua staring at his tense back.

“This whole time…” he heard him mutter to himself. The pain in his voice was audible. Shen Qingqiu would never show this side of himself to anyone.

He’s… really heartbroken, isn’t he? He’d still be hurt if Yue Qingyuan had been the one to tell him, for lying for so long, but… I… I feel bad. I didn’t want to hurt him like this.

“Shen-Shixiong… I… I can’t say whether you should… forgive or not. If you should let go or not, but… From what I know, he truly did care. He just… felt so guilty about failing… So ashamed that he couldn’t stand telling you. It’s no excuse, I know…” he trailed off. He wasn’t sure why he was trying to soothe the pain between the two, considering he was planning to leave. It wouldn’t change anything for him, personally, but Airplane had always wanted to mend his own broken family. Had tried desperately until it killed him.

“How did you know?”

Shang Qinghua hesitated. There was no system to stop him. To punish him if he told Shen Qingqiu the truth. 

“It’s… hard to explain exactly but… to get ahead as an An Ding disciple, I had to know a lot of things no one should know. It was how you survived. I’m sorry if that’s not a satisfying answer.”

Shen Qingqiu let out a soft sigh. “You’re correct, it’s not. This master does not believe that to be the truth. Not the full truth, at any rate.” He turned around to face Shang Qinghua again, his eyes boring into his own. “But this one supposes you’ve proven your point. This master… I will not say anything, for now.”

He’d be allowed to leave. To disappear as if An Ding never had a lord. Truth be told, Shang Qinghua hadn’t expected to be let go with no consequence, but it was clear his villain — no, his… friend? Ally? — was feeling out of sorts.

Because of me.

“Shen-Shixiong… Do you… Do you really want to stay here? In this sect?” The words were hesitant, but he pushed through anyway. “This one… I… I’ve spent years watching how they treat you. How they hurt you. It’s… I’m not saying we’re the same, but… Aren’t you tired?”

Shang Qinghua knew he had to be. Especially now that he knew the truth. That he hurt for years over a belief that wasn’t true, all because Yue Qingyuan refused to tell him what really happened.

“Listen, I… There’s a small town, a few shichen from here to the south. It’s got this large flower field practically surrounding it. It’s… where I planned to go. I’ll be there, to prepare everything. If… If you change your mind about the sect, you can meet me there.”

It felt like the least he could offer. Whether Shen Qingqiu would accept or not, he didn’t know.

“For what it’s worth… this Shidi has always respected Shixiong. Sorry if I haven’t shown that very well.”

When he left his leisure house for the final time, his Shixiong silently watched him, looking just as small as he had when he first entered the sect.

The tiny village was called Xiǎo Zhèn, another case of the system filling in the blanks with Airplane's crappy naming conventions. The town did live up to its name, having a population of forty people at best, most of which were elderly. The town mainly survived off of its flowers, abundant as they were. There was a small perfume shop, a store that sold them as bouquets and a family or two that offered them dried and pressed.

It was a cozy place, all things considered, and discreet. It was far enough from the demon realm that they rarely experienced trouble and cultivators were rare. With the amount of money Shang Qinghua had sequestered away his previous sect would no doubt expect him to go somewhere more luxurious, too.

Unless Shen Qingqiu told on him, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t.

Introducing himself as a wandering no-name cultivator was easy. While it did pose a risk of discovery, should one of his old martial siblings find their way nearby, with the help the villagers offered him Shang Qinghua wanted them to know he could help if some demonic cow or something showed up. It felt like the least he could do, when they offered him discounts on building materials and suggested good locations in the nearby forest for him to build his new home.

His cover story had been kept simple, all the easier to remember. “While this one is more than capable still, he misses having a place to call home and has grown weary of traveling. A friend suggested the woods around this village as they’re calm and holds a decent amount of ambient qi.”

It was simple, understandable enough to mortals and left him with plenty of wiggle room should he need to add anything. He’d also mentioned that a friend of his would potentially be visiting, but that he wasn’t certain as life as cultivators did tend to keep one busy.

Most of his story was true though, if somewhat edited. He did want a proper home. Somewhere he could relax and just exist without worrying about a possible death some years later. And he was weary, not of traveling, but of his treatment by his supposed martial family.

A few of the younger men were quick to offer help when it came to building his small cottage, an offer he was happy to accept. Being the peak lord in charge of logistics ensured he knew hard work and was no stranger to heavy lifting, but there were only so many nights he could stand to spend in the cramped inn of the town.

Days went by and there was no sign of Shen Qingqiu. There also weren’t any Cang Qiong cultivators coming by the town to drag him back, so he considered that a good sign at least.

By the time his home was starting to shape into a proper cottage, he received a strange letter. It wasn’t signed, but he recognized the calligraphy easily. The words were simple and a bit ominous. “They’ve begun to notice,” it said. 

So he’d need to be a bit more careful, then. While he’d already asked the villages not to mention him to any larger sects, as he’d been hounded by them before to join or so he lied, he knew it was easy to slip up, or consider it not that serious.

Thanking his friend in his head — and boy did it feel strange to think of him as just friend, instead of his villain or Shixiong — he continued his building efforts with even more fervor.

The little glade where he’d decided to build his home wasn’t that big, but alongside the villagers he’d taken down a few trees to make more space and more material. He was considering digging a small pond too. It would be nice to have some fish, and the forests were filled with little critters and bugs at night, making it feel alive.

Thankfully, nothing dangerous made its home there, and the few questionable flowers he’d found he had quickly gotten rid of. Now all that grew in the very basic garden were regular flowers he knew from his first life, and a few Night-blooming lilies that opened up at night and would glow from the qi they’d absorb during the day. 

When the roofing was done, he started sleeping there. While the windows had no paper screens in them yet, he was more than used to keeping his body temperature even with his cultivation. And it felt… nice? To sleep under a roof he’d built himself — with some help — and labored away to make his own. He’d spend evenings simply meditating on the back porch, watching fireflies flit from glowing lily to lily, their glow taking on the same color as the flowers. 

Like a little garden full of warm stars. 

It was during one such evening that he received a surprise guest. He knew the soft knocks weren’t any of the villagers. They always left before it started getting dark, claiming the immortal cultivator deserved his privacy and that they’d be happy to give it. It felt like family, almost, even if he’d purposefully put some distance between them. When the knocking began again, a little louder this time, he called out a soft “I’m out the back,” and simply listened to the soft footsteps walking around his house.

He knew it could reasonably only be one person, but he still found himself just a little surprised seeing Shen Qingqiu walk out from behind the corner of his house. Something about seeing the prim and proper peak lord in his little half finished garden, next to his cottage — which was really more of a shack so far — felt weird. 

“Shixiong,” he spoke, blinking in confusion. Did this mean Shen Qingqiu had changed his mind? Was he leaving the sect, or just visiting? “This one is happy to see you.”

He watched him raise an eyebrow, unfolding his fan and lightly fluttering it. Clearly he didn’t believe Shang Qinghua, but he expected as much. “I really am, Shixiong! This one’s humble abode isn’t anywhere close to the Bamboo house, but I have… tea, if you’d like a cup…?” he trailed off, uncertain. “The quality of the leaves is ah… not fantastic, but it’s not the worst this one has had!”

Shen Qingqiu let out a sigh, no doubt finding his rambling annoying. “This one… thought to see for himself your choice of… accommodations.”

Shang Qinghua could hear the “Bitch you live like this?” hidden behind those words. It was a work in progress, okay! He had a roof, and walls! So what if he was missing some windows and his garden was a mess!?

“Ah, well… it’s not quite finished yet, but this one has lived in far worse conditions. The inn was rather cramped, and temperature is hardly a problem for a cultivator, so…” Shang Qinghua rose from the ground, quickly brushing his hands over his robes. “Anyway, if Shixiong intends to stay for a conversation, please allow this one to make some tea!”

Without waiting for a reply, he quickly opened the sliding screen door on his back porch, leaving it open as an invitation for his Shixiong to follow. Entering the main room of the home, he quickly turned to the left and walked into the kitchen. It was a bit small, but spacious enough for two people. The actual table was in the main room, so it wasn’t as if there’d be an entire family camping out next to the stove anyway.

He’d actually requested to finish the kitchen first, even before the bedroom. He liked eating, despite being able to maintain Inedia for months at a time if necessary. It came in handy too, now that he had a guest. The cabinets weren’t well stocked, but he’d bought some basic groceries and said tea, which he was more than happy with. 

Once he got arrays set up to ensure his cold box worked just like a modern fridge, he’d start to really stock up on food and expand his garden so he could be a bit more self-sufficient. For the time being, he began preparing the tea, still familiar with the process despite not making it himself often.

“How… quaint,” Shen Qingqiu’s voice sounded through the home, the man no doubt judging his decor. Or lack thereof. The furniture was sparse. A table, a few shelves for storage, a desk for his writing — though he was hoping he’d remembered to store his rough drafts away considering their lurid nature — and a few soft pillows he’d been using as his bed.

“This one is hoping to make it feel a bit more welcoming once all the windows have been put in!” he called out from the kitchen, trying to keep any defensiveness out of his voice. “And furniture is expensive! So necessities come first.”

“Mm, this master is certain you’ve not much trouble with funds, considering how much the previous An Ding peak lord ran off with.”

Ouch. Fair, but still.

“In my defense, most of that money was from unused An Ding monthly budget funds. It’s incredible how much money can be saved by spending it efficiently instead of throwing it away on repairs because you insist on destroying half the peak every training lesson…”

He could swear he heard a snort of amusement. Complaining about Liu Qingge tended to have that effect, even if only behind closed doors.

“Besides, it’s far better to have emergency funds than to spend it all on paintings I don’t need.”

“Then these paintings were made by shidi?”

Ah, he must be referring to the silly doodles he’d sometimes end up making instead of getting any writing done. Shang Qinghua let out a soft chuckle.

“They are. Not my finest work, but better to hang them on the walls to make this place a home, than leave them collecting dust in a drawer somewhere.”

Exiting the kitchen with a tray carrying his one tea set, he set it on the table gently. Pouring a cup for his shixiong, he then proceeded to prepare his own. He pretended not to see Shen Qingqiu drop more than a few spoonfuls of sugar in his cup, simply sipping on his own and letting out a pleased sigh. 

While he was no tea connoisseur, he could still appreciate a well brewed cup. Of course, it might not meet his Shixiong’s standards, but he appreciated the warmth and the gentle flavor sliding down his throat.

“This one hopes the tea is to your liking, Shixiong.”

Shen Qingqiu sipped silently, staring out of the still open sliding door. The doorways had already been arrayed to keep critters and the like outside, so none of the fireflies entered the home. The view was still quite mesmerizing, however.

Art by nothingbizzare

“This master… Has been considering Shidi’s offer. The sect is in an uproar, growing more tense by the day once it was discovered the An Ding peak lord had vanished.”

Shang Qinghua blinked in surprise. He didn’t think they’d care. Shen Qingqiu met his gaze, rolling his eyes.

“Once they realized the amount of work the peak of logistics did to keep the sect running smoothly, they understood how serious the situation had become,” he explained, giving Shang Qinghua a smack on the forehead with his fan upon seeing his smug look. “This is nothing to look so satisfied about, shidi. After all, you assured this master your actions would not harm the sect, did you not?

“If the sect collapses because of the absence of a single peak lord, then perhaps the sect shouldn’t have relied on a single peak to keep everything running,” was his response — ignoring the fact he was the one who wrote it that way. “This one did not purposefully cause any harm. No funds were taken from peaks that needed them, nor did I sabotage any of the other peaks. Had I been injured and out of commission for an extended amount of time, would we not end up with the same result?”

Because they would, without a doubt. It had seemed like a good idea while writing, throwing all the work at one peak to give somewhat of a reason for the original to betray his sect, and save him from having to write in-depth descriptions of logistics and boring things no one cared about — except for Peerless Cucumber, that is.

Actually living it? Absolute hell. The peaks truly weren’t equal at all, considering the amount of work An Ding had to do versus most of the other peaks. And still they wouldn’t turn in what little paperwork they had to do on time!!

“This master supposes you are right.”

“A miracle, I’m sure.”

“Truly. Perhaps the world is ending.”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t stop himself from laughing. They were bantering! This was banter! Between him and his beloved villain!

“The sect leader has sent Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi on a mission to find you, shidi,” were his next words. They were delivered in a bland tone, as if he was describing the weather. “So far they’ve begun their search to the north and will no doubt remain there for some time.”

“I appreciate the warning, Shixiong, but I assure you I have ways to avoid detection, should they seek me out here.” Arrays upon arrays upon arrays. Many forgot An Ding wasn’t just about logistics, they were array specialists too. Had to be when you were in charge of storing ancient artifacts and cursed relics.

“Shixiong said earlier that he was considering shidi’s offer?” Shang Qinghua circled back to. “Shixiong is more than welcome to stay, so long as he is certain of his decision. They will no doubt search for you as well. Far more fervently, I suspect.”

Shen Qingqiu’s nose wrinkled in apparent disgust. “If the sect leader has any sense at all he should know better than to search for this one. Especially when this master does not wish to be sought out!” His voice had started as a soft mutter, growing in volume until he was shouting. 

“Ah… The sect leader has been… seeking you out frequently, since your conversation I assume..?” The question was hesitant, Shang Qinghua not wanting to upset him further. “Did he… ah, that is to say…”

Explain himself? Was what he wanted to ask. Shen Qingqiu could surely read as much from his wry expression.

“He did not explain himself. Despite numerous visits.”

Shang Qinghua sighed, chest aching for his shixiong. “I see…”

Shen Qingqiu’s hand tightened around his fan. “Even when this master told him he knew the truth… instead of admitting his utter stupidity, the sect leader instead began demanding to know who told this one-” 

He took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. “Zhangmen-shixiong kept questioning this one, over and over. Once he realized he would not get the answers he sought, an irony not lost on this master, he began expressing guilt.”

“In truth… had he told this master the truth, this one would still be furious, but… With time, perhaps…”

But he didn’t tell you…

I did.

Part of him really did feel guilty. He had wanted to give them a reconciliation and his original drafts included that. When he’d ended up bowing to his readers' wishes however, any plans to have the two overcome their heart demons had been scrapped. His readers didn’t care about the villain or the sect leader that let him do whatever he wanted.

They didn't care about their backstory, their bond.

Shang Qinghua wasn't sure what to say. What could he even say? 'I'm sorry'? No, he knew better than to apologize and spout guilt ridden words.

"Shixiong… As this one said you're welcome to stay here should you wish. While the rooms aren't quite ready and there's missing furniture, it shouldn't take too much longer for this place to be a proper home," was what he settled on. "And Shixiong doesn't need to decide right now. Or even in a few months. This Shidi understands that the situation at the sect is complicated and that you have fought hard for your position. I- err, this one understands if you wish to stay there."

Shen Qingqiu stared at him silently, sipping his tea and seemingly pondering his words. Searching for any falsehoods or hidden words, probably. Once his cup was empty, he gestured for Shang Qinghua to pour him another. When that cup was also desecrated by unhealthy amounts of sugar, his shixiong spoke up yet again.

"Shidi is rather accommodating. This master spoke nary a word to Shidi for many years, yet you offer a home." His tone was bland, controlled, but it held just a touch of suspicion. "Surely Shidi does not believe this one won't think your words a trap?"

Shang Qinghua blinked, expecting the suspicion but still feeling a tad offended. He knew he looked suspicious as hell, okay? He knew that Shen Qingqiu was well aware of his dalliances with the demon realm. Of course he'd be suspicious of an offer where nothing was asked for in return. But Shang Qinghua had also told him the truth when he asked.

"Shidi understands but begs Shixiong to remember that this one was honest when asked to."

"Except to inform this master how you came across that information."

"… This one does not think Shixiong would believe him, nor does he have any proof, but if Shixiong truly wishes to know the answer this one will provide it."

"Hm."

Despite waiting to see if his Shixiong would continue speaking — perhaps demand the truth now that he had been told Shang Qinghua would be truthful about it — Shen Qingqiu grew quiet, merely drinking his tea and seemingly ignoring his presence completely.

Alright, Shang Qinghua would shelve that conversation for later then. As the night grew darker, his Shixiong stood up to leave. Watching him for a moment, Shang Qinghua quietly began to place the tea set back onto the tray. He'd put a stasis talisman on the teapot so he could have a drink in the morning, but the cups needed to be rinsed or he'd regret the extra work tomorrow.

Leaving the tray on the table for the time being, he stood up to escort his guest outside. Through the front door this time. Shen Qingqiu raised an eyebrow but didn't object when the two walked to the door. Standing in the doorway, his shixiong glanced back at him.

"This Shixiong will visit again. Perhaps your accommodations will be better, in the future."

Shang Qinghua couldn't stop his snort. "This Shidi will do his best to furnish his home to Shixiong's exacting standards for his next visit."

A visit meant he'd come back again, but not that he would stay, and that was okay. While he wanted to improve Shen Qingqiu's life, he wouldn't force his shixiong to make a decision. He'd hurt him enough, whether intentional or not.

While his shixiong's face was covered by his fan yet again, his eyes held a tinge of amusement.

"See to it that you do, shidi."

His little cottage was mostly finished. Every window finally had a proper paper screen in it and an additional bedroom had been added onto the cottage. Shang Qinghua felt a bit stupid for offering a place to stay for his Shixiong to begin with when there was only one bedroom and had made sure to correct that problem as soon as possible. The villagers had varying theories on why he'd need an extra bedroom, several of them asking if it was for a possible child and the cultivator had a sweetheart on the way.

Shang Qinghua had stuttered his way through an explanation about how a friend of his might want to visit and that it was a guestroom. There were no plans for future children! Shang Qinghua would be a terrible dad! Look at what he did to Binghe! So no, it was just a guest room in case Shen Qingqiu wished to stay, be it overnight or… longer. Granted, an extra room wouldn't be enough for his Shixiong to feel comfortable sleeping in the same house as him, but it would still be better than nothing, he figured.

All in all, the home had two bedrooms now, a bathroom with some actual plumbing, his small kitchen and the main room. The main room had been spruced up a bit, with more decor such as soft and fluffy carpets on the floor, a small bookshelf filled with mostly fiction and a couple of plants that were easy to care for.

He'd also moved the pillows into his actual bedroom that had a proper bed now, and the amount of pillows and blankets on his bed had made it comfortable and warm. Sometimes he'd crawl under his blankets just to enjoy the feeling for a shichen or two. He'd also put a second desk into the bedroom, keeping his personal writing there instead of the main room. The guestroom was furnished similarly to his own room, minus the desk, and had less pillows.

The bathroom was surprisingly his favorite project. The plumbing has taken some work, but with enough stubbornness and cultivation tricks he'd managed to get it working and the bathing pool he'd put together himself would see a lot of use. He still needed to use talismans to ensure the water was heated up, but that was hardly an issue for him. After finishing the bathroom he'd also added a sink to the kitchen as a final touch. No more hauling buckets of water in for tea!

All he really had left was the garden. He'd decided on where he wanted to put the pond but actually digging it out wasn't the most tempting of jobs. So far there was nothing but a sad looking hole in the area he'd planned to put it, even worse than the hole he'd once dug to join the Cang Qiong Mountain sect.

At least he'd gotten a little vegetable garden started and had managed to find a few herbs and flowers to plant in little pots he kept on the porch. None of the flowers were of the aphrodisiac quality, instead helpful in various concoctions for improving health and Qi flow. While he doubted he'd need them, it never hurt to be prepared. The herbs were for cooking and little else. A man needed his spices, alright?

He'd… finish the pond at some point. Surely his Shixiong couldn't fault him for that much, right?

Oh who am I kidding, he'll definitely criticize it. Probably wonder how I even got accepted into the sect with a hole that bad.

…

Shang Qinghua couldn't hold back his snort. He should definitely finish that pond before any further visits. For his own sanity, if nothing else.

I refuse to teach Shen Jiu about "that's what she said" jokes. Even I have limits, Peerless Cucumber.

It took him a few more weeks to actually get the pond properly dug and filled. Using even more arrays, he made sure the water would stay clean and at an even temperature so it wouldn't freeze over during winter. Next he took a trip to a nearby town where he bought some sad and unwanted little fishes and a ridiculous amount of fish food.

They'd looked at him with such sad eyes that he couldn't stop himself, even knowing he didn't need ten of them.

It wasn't until his pond was stocked with ten little guys, all with different colors and patterns and none being the same type of fish, that Shen Qingqiu visited again.

"Shidi listened after all." The comment was sharp, but had no real malice behind it. If anything, Shen Qingqiu almost sounded pleased. Really, Shang Qinghua should feel offended, at least a little bit, but he couldn't help but preen instead. It was a compliment after all, sort of.

"Of course! This Shidi takes his Shixiong's words very seriously."

He couldn't help but feel a bit nervous though. Shen Qingqiu hadn't commented on the new bedroom, but he must have noticed it. There was no way to miss it really, considering it was awkwardly stapled onto the front of the house. Shang Qinghua wasn't going to bring it up though. Conceal don't feel and all that.

"Did Shixiong have more information for this one? Or perhaps this is a social visit?"

Shen Qingqiu remained silent for a moment, softly fluttering his fan. "Liu-Shidi and Qi-Shimei have left for the capital. There was a brief journey to the south, but they never approached this place thinking it irrelevant," he explained, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. Whether he was concerned or upset at their words, Shang Qinghua wasn't sure. "The head disciple of An Ding has been handed several tasks once handled by the peak lord, the rest spread across the other peaks…" he trailed off, his eyes burrowing into Shang Qinghua's own.

"It has certainly been… illuminating," he spoke, gaze still intense. Blinking, Shang Qinghua couldn't stop his lips twitching into a rueful smile. So the sect finally got a taste of just how hard their martial sibling had been working this whole time, huh?

It was a little sad, that he had been drowning for so long begging the rest of the sect to please help him stay afloat just a little longer, only to be shut down time and time again. Yet now that they were forced to take some of that responsibility themselves — whatever they hadn't forced onto his poor head disciple — it 'opened their eyes'. His words couldn't even convince them to turn in paperwork on time but experiencing a smaller part of his workload suddenly changed how they looked at him.

"This Shidi hopes Shixiong is not overworked due to his actions." The apology was more of a reflex than anything. He was used to yielding to others, it was always easier that way. Why argue with Liu Qingge when doing his paperwork was faster and didn't risk having your door kicked down? Hell, he hadn't even dared open his mouth at the peak lord meetings until he'd gone through several loops. He might have reached the 'retail worker' level of fucks to give now, but before that?

Before that he'd apologized for existing and for being in the way, as if he contributed nothing while eating up resources. He knew he didn't, but it was easier to bow to others' whims and not attract too much attention when he'd been stuck with the System.

Snapping out of his spiraling thoughts to the feeling of a fan smacking him on the forehead, he met his Shixiong's eyes again. He looked a little annoyed, his face a tad more open than Shang Qinghua was used to. Or perhaps he'd gotten better at reading him?

"Shidi should stop ignoring this master and instead prepare tea, as is proper."

Finding himself yet again in his little kitchen brewing tea, his Shixiong took his time exploring and studying the additions to his home. He didn't peek into any of the bedrooms — the doors were kept closed most of the time, and Shang Qinghua didn't hear so much as a squeak — but he did make low comments about the additional art added to the walls and the happily growing plants.

While propriety demanded they share tea at the table, he found his martial sibling had settled down on the back porch instead, waving him closer. Thankfully, he had purchased a smaller table that was easily moved onto the porch. It was only big enough to hold the tray, but Shang Qinghua didn't mind holding his own cup to give Shen Qingqiu more space should he want it.

The garden was a bit quieter than usual, the time of day edging towards evening when it would come back to life again, only a few critters exploring. He could hear his fishes splash around the pond, happily fighting or… whatever they'd decided to do. They really did seem to enjoy fighting each other, perhaps cursed by the names he'd given them.

"The pond is new, the fishes as well. They seem rather… unique." Unique was… an understatement. Liu Fishge did nothing but cause trouble all day, nipping at both his fish friends and Shang Qinghua whenever his hands got too close to the water while feeding them. Wei Fishwei kept hoarding food and had some kind of underground market going on — Shang Qinghua wasn't sure if he was just projecting onto the fishes — while Mu Fishfang would swim in circles every day, possibly seeking enlightenment? Shang Qinghua could barely keep himself alive before he'd transmigrated so frankly he'd never had a pet before and had no idea what fish were supposed to be like.

"They're very spirited," was what he ended up saying, somewhat agreeing with his Shixiong. "I named them after most of the Peak lords, haha…" His voice trailed off as he glanced at Shen Qingqiu. When his embarrassed glance was met with a raised eyebrow, he quickly started listing them off.

"W-Well there's Qi Fishqi, she's the dark grey…" I don't know what kind of fish she is- "…fish. The tiny sad looking sardine..? The seller said it was a sardine- Anyway that's Yue Fishyuan…" As he continued down the list, pointing out the different Peak Fishes, his Shixiong's expression flickered between amusement and something else, something Shang Qinghua couldn't figure out.

"This master must note there are fishes missing," he spoke softly, a slight bitterness to his tone. Shang Qinghua blinked. Was he upset he wasn't included?

"Well naturally it would be a bit… weird to name a fish after myself, and I much prefer Shixiong's company to that of a fish named after him, you know?" He settled on after a moment, sending Shen Qingqiu a small smile. Was he kind of making it sound like he expected his Shixiong to keep visiting? Perhaps. But he did feel confident Shen Qingqiu would keep visiting. At least for a while more.

It's true he might change his mind, especially if the sect were to get in even deeper trouble without an An Ding peak lord to keep track of things… but I'd like to think that he understands at least a little, why I had to get out…

Shen Qingqiu fluttered his fan open, a far more intense look on his face. "Shidi is confident it seems. This master could leave and never return, yet you would expect otherwise." Shang Qinghua blinked, the familiar mask of 'sad pitiful shidi' slipping onto his face.

"Should Shidi not expect Shixiong to keep visiting? It would break this Shidi's heart, were we to never see each other again." Despite his sarcastic sounding words, part of him did mean that. He'd gotten stupidly attached to a lot of the characters turned real people in his messed up world, and that included his Scum Villain. Moreover, his Shixiong deserved some peace away from people who believed the rumors and talked shit about him behind his back.

Even if said rumors kind of exist because of me… still, if I'd known it would become real I would've never written PIDW the way I did…

He really didn't want Shen Qingqiu's canon end to come to pass. He really didn't. The merging of the realms would be bad, it would, but knowing his Shixiong was being tortured for the rest of his life? That was worse. Shang Qinghua could understand Luo Binghe's anger, he'd written it after all, but it didn't change the fact that he didn't want either of them hurt.

Yes, he was biased. No, he was not going to acknowledge it further.

In the end, Shen Qingqiu didn't end up responding to his little act, but he did seem a bit… happier? Shang Qinghua was hesitant to assume so, but his Shixiong's shoulders seemed lighter and there was this… glow in his eyes.

"This Shidi looks forward to the next time Shixiong visits," he told him as Shen Qingqiu got ready to leave. "Unless this one shouldn't expect to host Shixiong's esteemed self in the future?"

His snark got him another wack with the fan, but the lack of power behind it made it obvious Shen Qingqiu wasn't truly angry with him.

"This master may yet grace you with his presence in days to come." The stilted formal speech sounded ridiculous and Shang Qinghua was sure he saw Shen Qingqiu's lips twitch into a smile briefly. He couldn't keep himself from letting out a chuckle either.

"Ensure there is better tea, next time," were his Shixiong's parting words and Shang Qinghua was happy to follow that command.

Fancy tea was expensive though, so his Scum Villain better stay longer next time.

It took a lot of work, but Shang Qinghua was able to acquire some fancier tea. He'd never cared much himself, but the villagers and the traders he spoke to in a city much further away all insisted Pu'er tea was sure to "charm" his betrothed.

They refused to believe his corrections that Shen Qingqiu was just a friend.

With his fancy tea in hand, he returned to his cottage and made sure his fish hadn't committed any crimes while he was gone on his two-day trip. Luckily his fish were all doing fine, though Yue Fishyuan was looking more pitiful than usual. Maybe he'd get some extra food for a while, just to make sure he didn't end up dead at the bottom of the pond.

Thinking about it… He started acting all weird after Shen Jiu last visited. Don't tell me I created another Yue Qi…

No, best not to think about it.

Ignoring the potential 'fish imprinting on his Shixiong' situation, Shang Qinghua spent most of the evening working on his garden again. Thankfully he had little issues with weeds and arrays kept any bugs or animals from nibbling on his plants, but he could swear his cabbages liked to move. It was always slight enough that he could just be imagining it, but Shang Qinghua wasn't taking any chances and checked on them every few days.

His newest project — and really, he wasn't sure why he felt the desire to keep adding more things to his home but it was so satisfying to see the end result — was a fence. While it wasn't needed to keep animals out and there were next to no threats nearby, he figured it would still make his home feel a bit more private. While his village friends were very respectful of his privacy since the beginning and it had stayed that way, there was that one squirrel that ignored his arrays somehow and would stare at him like some sort of grim reaper coming to claim his soul.

Or maybe he just thought Shang Qinghua's bun was an acorn. It was anyone's guess really.

The fence was easy enough to build, though it was uneven in some spots, and he made sure to leave an empty section for a gate in the future. Or an expansion to his garden. He was rather proud of his vegetable patch! Growing a couple more vegetables or some more flowers sounded kind of nice. He also made sure the fence connected to the sides of his cottage, with another much smaller empty section for a side gate. Shen Qingqiu wasn't his Romeo climbing balconies and fences and whatnot, so of course he got a little secret entrance.

Something was still missing though. He couldn't quite figure out what, but it irked him. He added more furs to the floors, added more books to his shelf and even brought back a Jade Breathing Dragonfly Poppy! The flower was incredibly rare despite being functionally useless, but it was a pretty vibrant green and it's petals would flutter like wings and puff out little clouds of smoke. Noblewomen thought it was a curious little thing so it was popular among them, but it truly had no purpose beyond acting cute.

It was one of his favorite flowers he ever created.

He was hoping to add Glass Hyacinths next, but they only grew near the borderlands and he wasn't exactly thrilled at the minimal but very much possible risk of running into Mobei Jun or one of his subordinates. With his luck it was bound to happen, frankly, and he was tempted to ask Shen Qingqiu to fetch some if he happened to be sent on a mission nearby.

Yue Fishyuan seemed to perk up a little after a few days of extra food, circling his fingers when he stuck them in the water. It was really cute until Liu Fishge and Qi Fishqi decided his hand was food too. Honestly, he'd named them all as a joke but some of them truly did live up to their namesakes.

All their scales were looking more vibrant now that they had a large pond to enjoy and were spoiled when it came to food and care. During the midday the sun would shine down through some of the nearby trees and make the pond shimmer with a rainbow of colors, bouncing off of the scales.

His little fish had made his pond gay! His gay little pond! He was so proud of them!

He couldn't wait to show Shen Qingqiu.

It was early morning the next time Shen Qingqiu came to visit. He seemed agitated, pacing the garden before stopping to simply stare at the pond. Shang Qinghua wasn't sure if seeking him out or giving him space was the better option. Instead, he went ahead and brewed the fancy Pu'er tea he'd acquired recently, bringing the tray outside onto the porch once it was done steeping.

Remaining silent, he poured a cup for his Shixiong and then himself, quietly waiting on the porch. A few more minutes passed by before he was joined by Shen Qingqiu. Handing him his cup of tea, Shang Qinghua sipped at his own cup with a small frown. The tea was definitely better than what he'd been serving before and frankly he was unsure why his Shixiong had let him get away with serving flavored water before.

I still miss coffee though…

Shen Qingqiu still hadn't said a word, his shoulders tense and eyes unfocused. After placing his cup back onto the tray, his hands clutching his green robes on his lap, knuckles growing white from how tight his grip was. Shang Qinghua had the sudden absurd urge to lay his hands onto his Shixiong's.

He'd probably be uncomfortable if he did that, he reasoned with himself. Shen Qingqiu was never fond of random touches like that from anyone but the Warm Red Pavilion ladies, after all.

Having successfully talked himself out of possibly embarrassing himself, Shang Qinghua instead cleared his throat.

"Is Shixiong feeling all right..?" he asked in a soft voice, looking over at Shen Qingqiu. He was still tense, but his grip on his robes had loosened and one hand was pulling out his fan of his sleeve, quickly throwing it open in front of his face.

"It appears Liu-Shidi is convinced this master is spending more time at brothels than searching for his missing Shidi." The words were sharp, bitter and quick. Shang Qinghua blinked, unsure of what to say. While he knew the truth of both situations — that Shen Qingqiu didn't go to brothels for pleasure, nor was he shirking his responsibilities in regards to their missing peak lord, in a roundabout way — he was well aware his Shixiong didn't know he knew and would probably get mad if he commented on it.

Instead, he let out a huff. "Perhaps Liu-Shidi should mind his own business, considering he hasn't found his missing Shidi whereas Shixiong had no such trouble."

He could hear Shen Qingqiu huff, but his shoulders lowered just a tad and he'd take that progress. Giving him a moment to compose himself, Shang Qinghua continued. "If Shixiong wants to really bother Liu-Shidi, he is welcome to stay at this one's humble abode for the night, should he wish to."

There. Another invite, and the poke at Liu Qingge would make it sound less like a proposition and more like a spiteful act. Even if that also sounded a bit… suspicious. Considering he was going to joke about his home being the smallest brothel in the land, what he actually ended up saying seemed tamer.

Hearing his Shixiong sigh, he expected a scolding. When all he got was a soft fan smack on his forehead instead, he let his lips twitch into a smile.

"At the very least, Shixiong should stay until midday to see the pond transform," he mentioned, pointing at said pond. Wei Fishwei was doing ridiculous jumps as if excited to see Shen Qingqiu, while Yue Fishyuan was hiding underneath a small lily pad, silently observing.

When his Shixiong didn't reply, he began explaining the intricacies among the Fish Lords and the various shenanigans they'd gotten up to in his absence. While there were few comments, the gaze meeting his own felt warm.

He also made sure to give his Shixiong a proper tour, having neglected to do so the entire time. He ignored the comments about his shabby fence though. He'd neaten it up later!

Once the time got closer to midday, he made sure to bring out some snacks alongside more Pu'er tea, freshly steeped. When the sun hit the pond, reflecting those beautiful scales across the water's surface, Shen Qingqiu let out a soft breath. His eyes were mesmerized by the colors, flickering from fish to fish, before briefly glancing over at Shang Qinghua instead. It had been quick, and if Shang Qinghua hadn't been watching his Shixiong's face he probably would have missed it.

The look had been so warm, something pleased behind it and while it was hard to see over the edge of the fan, he could swear Shen Qingqiu's cheeks had been a bit pink. It was a good look on him.

Shen Qingqiu didn't end up staying the night, but before leaving he'd taken a small package out of his sleeve and handed it over quickly. He'd refused to meet Shang Qinghua's eyes too, which was a little odd, but he'd happily accepted the gift with a big smile.

The box was full of flower seeds, and a single bamboo shoot.

Shang Qinghua made sure to plant them all.

Watching his budding flower garden, Shang Qinghua had come to a conclusion.

Vegetables and herbs were nice. They added variety to his dishes and let him save money on food. He'd be able to sell some to ensure he had some income as well.

But.

Inedia aside, he still spent plenty of money on rice, milk, meat and eggs. While rice was fairly cheap all things considered, he found himself wanting to try and grow some himself if only so he could say he did it. Having a meal made with only homegrown, fresh ingredients? That was the dream of every cozy game fan!

So. A rice paddy. He'd found a nice spot just outside his fence, and with the help of some arrays — it wasn't cheating, it was using all of your available resources to the best of their ability — he had a rough looking rice paddy ready. He was quick to line more fencing around it too, before he stared at the empty land further out. A barn would be a bit too big to fit, but wouldn't a little coop be a good fit?

He could get little chickens! Perhaps even a duck or two!

He ended up recruiting some help from one of the villagers, the man having his own tiny farm, and the two made fairly quick work of putting together a basic coop. The farmer had also offered some fodder to get him started, as well as a couple seeds for different grains that would do well as feed once grown.

Shang Qinghua felt a little dumb, to be honest. He hadn't even considered growing grain, the thought never entering his mind. Granted, he had no idea how easy grain was to grow, but so far his strategy of "it works in Planting Sun, so maybe it'll work in PIDW too" had been solid. Sure, he'd added a few arrays too that promoted growth and kept pests away, but farmers has pesticides and fertilizer, it was basically the same thing!

He'd have to tear down some of his fencing to fit a small patch for the grain, but he could make it work. He was becoming a DIY expert at this point, even if his work had a rough look to it. Glancing over to his pond, he gave Yue Fishyuan a small smile.

"What do you think, lil' guy? Should I get chickens or ducks?" The little fish wasn't capable of speaking, but he let out a single bubble and that was close enough for him. "Chickens it is!"

The farmer would probably give him a chick if he asked for one, but Shang Qinghua had his own brilliant idea of simply… yoinking one from the wild.

Look, he didn't just want regular chickens. He knew the general habitats of the White-Speckled Midnight Chicks, and not only were their eggs said to be rich in protein but they had the… unique ability to provide milk too. Really, they were just a very cursed lovechild between a chicken and a cow, their feather patterns similar to cow spots and the roosters growing tiny horns.

As for where the milk came from, Shang Qinghua tried not to think about it too deeply. Putting teats on a chicken wasn't his finest work, alright? He'd been very sleep deprived at the time and what was supposed to be a demon wife for Bingge to charm had somehow turned into tiny chickens with cow features. Somehow. Peerless Cucumber didn't let him live that down either, even if his criticism was aimed more at how freakish a creature he'd created.

But the little guys solved his problems! He didn't have room for a barn, so tiny little chicken cows it was!

He'd have to wait to make the trip however, as it was close to the time when his Shixiong would usually visit. While it wasn't an exact measurement, he'd noticed he'd get a visit every other week or so. Perhaps he had shared custody with the Warm Red Pavilion ladies?

When Shen Qingqiu came by that week, Shang Qinghua happily showed him where he'd planted the flowers, and the spot next to the pond where the small bamboo shoot was growing like a weed.

His Shixiong spent several shichen there just meditating that day. When he didn't seem eager to leave, Shang Qinghua merely informed him where the guest room was and to make himself home.

He never heard him leave his spot in the garden though, but that was alright.

When he woke up in the morning and his Shixiong had a simple breakfast ready, a fresh cup of tea steeped and served to him, he was simply happy he'd stayed.

They ended up planting several more bamboo shoots, this time lining the outside of the fence.

Shang Qinghua ended up bringing his Shixiong along to nab his chickens. While Shen Qingqiu hadn't been pleased to hear his plan of grabbing wild animals for the coop, he did help in the end.

Shang Qinghua now had a small hen, — named Gertrude, because his Shixiong's expression hearing the name made him laugh — a rooster that hated him but loved Shen Qingqiu and was named Cornelius because Shang Qinghua was determined to make his name sound silly too, and at least two eggs that would hopefully incubate into more chickens. Gertrude was also laying eggs every few days and since she actually liked Shang Qinghua he was more than welcome to bring them into his own kitchen.

He really was starting to feel like the protagonist of a farming game now.

Shen Qingqiu didn't stay over often, but every couple of visits he'd spend the night meditating in the garden. He seemed tense on those days and while Shang Qinghua was curious, he figured it was better not to push him. He was happy to be a place where his Shixiong felt he could decompress and that would just have to be enough.

Something strange had been happening though. The bamboo shoot planted by the pond was growing much faster than normal. He knew that bamboo grew fast, but it was growing several centimeters a day and it was growing thicker too. When he'd asked his Shixiong about it, he'd theorized that the meditation alongside the ambient qi was most likely causing the extra growth and that while it was good to keep an eye on it, it shouldn't be anything dangerous.

Shang Qinghua trusted Shen Qingqiu, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing to feel concerned about the bamboo sprout. When strange things started happening around him, things tended to go in a negative direction rather than positive. What if there was a storm and the bamboo smashed into his home?! Or his anti-fire arrays failed after it got struck by lightning and the entire garden went up in flames?!

When he brought up these worries Shen Qingqiu had simply looked at him with amusement before shaking his head, dismissing his concerns with nary a word.

It did not make Shang Qinghua feel better. All of the other bamboo was growing normally, so what was up with the first shoot?!

When he woke up to it glowing one night he'd risked it all sending a messaging talisman to his Shixiong, asking him to please come by ASAP and that the bamboo was definitely NOT JUST ABSORBING QI.

The embarrassment he felt upon Shen Qingqiu arriving in the middle of the night, hair messy from the wind and robes askew, and Shang Qinghua holding up a tiny bamboo spirit in his hand was immeasurable. His face was red and his own hair was down instead of his usual bun, nothing but an inner robe on and his hand holding a goddamn baby.

"Err… S-surprise, Shixiong...?" He'd trailed off, uncertain. Shen Qingqiu was hardly fond of children, and baby-trapping his Shixiong was not his intention! He didn't even know it was possible! Shen Qingqiu lived surrounded by bamboo every day, on a peak with far more ambient qi! So why was there a baby in his hands that had his Shixiong's face and hair?! The little spirit was snoozing away, unaware of the mental crisis he was causing one of his fathers(?!), no doubt dreaming of pleasant things like cute little sheep and whatever babies dreamed of.

His Shixiong had been shocked too, naturally, but rather than disgust or frustration, he'd gently taken the spirit into his own hand, staring down at his palm in fascination. His entire face seemed to soften and a warm emotion Shang Qinghua couldn't quite name shone through his Shixiong's eyes.

As the two of them were pondering the little spirit, his Shixiong giving him a disapproving glance — no doubt due to his unfit to be seen state, but he was in his own home okay?! — the spirit opened his eyes and oh-

Was that what his eyes looked like? A soft brown with a dash of sunlight, making his eyes shine like a sunset. Shang Qinghua couldn't help but smile softly, glancing between Shen Qingqiu and his kid.

While he didn't think he'd be a good parent on his own, maybe together they'd manage?

Assuming of course that he's willing to raise a kid with me…

Look, he wasn't completely hopeless, alright? Shang Qinghua did have some common sense and he'd started to clue in that maybe, just maybe, he'd started to catch feelings for his very handsome Scum Villain. He wasn't going to push those feelings onto him though. Sure, it would be nice if they were reciprocated, but he'd originally built that extra room for someone he considered a friend. He wanted Shen Qingqiu to feel comfortable with him, and adding more feelings into that mix? Yeah, no. Shang Qinghua was not risking all of the trust he'd built up with his Shixiong over a crush.

Even if the farmer usually marries someone and has kids with them down the line…

Snapping out of his thoughts, he came back to the real world to his Shixiong's face being much closer than before. Feeling his face burn once more, he let out a choked noise.

"S-Shixiong?"

Shen Qingqiu blinked slowly, the furrow in his brow disappearing. "Shidi was quiet for a long time, this Shixiong was beginning to wonder where he went." Concluding he was fine, or at least his normal amount of strange, his Shixiong looked back down at the spirit that quietly stared back at him.

"He'll need a name," he mumbled in a soft voice, petting their son with a finger. The look he sent Shang Qinghua made it clear he was not allowed to pick one though.

"This Shixiong will think it over and inform Shidi on his return."

"Shixiong is leaving again?"

"… Someone sent for this master in the middle of the night. There are certain tasks that must be taken care of at the peak before this one can linger elsewhere."

Shang Qinghua blinked. Was his Shixiong saying he'd stay longer, once he'd sorted things out on his peak? Were they… becoming roommates?

When he was handed their baby, the spirit hugging one of his fingers — he was so cute- how was it even possible to be so cute?! — he couldn't stop staring at his Shixiong.

The small smile on Shen Qingqiu's lips seemed to linger, his eyes warm when he looked at Shang Qinghua.

"This Shixiong will return soon."

Fuck, he thought to himself, with feeling.

Shang Qinghua learnt quickly that bamboo spirit babies and normal babies were very different, and not very different at all!!

The still unnamed baby would cry and demand sustenance many times a day — thankfully he lived off of sunlight and qi, which saved Shang Qinghua a lot of trouble considering his options were chicken milk he doubted was fit for babies or finding a Mother's White Blessing and nursing the baby himself. He'd never live down the embarrassment if Shen Qingqiu were to find him with his chest out on display like that. While it was a nice option for parents who needed it, he'd only put that flower in his story to earn extra money from the lactation kink readers!

So. Qi and sunlight. He could do that. While Shang Qinghua had no clue on how to raise a child at all, he knew you shouldn't leave them unsupervised and something about… skin-to-skin contact being good for the baby? He was really considering visiting the village and asking some of the mothers there for tips, but he knew by doing so they'd definitely assume he now had a baby with his mystery "friend".

While that was true… They were going to start asking about the wedding, okay?! Surely mister cultivator didn't have a child out of wedlock? He wouldn't disrespect his partner like that, surely?!

Anyway, he could figure it out himself. He was a capable adult and he'd been raised twice, if he just took the good parts of his childhood and put himself in the role of parent, then surely he could manage!

…

Please come back soon, Shixiong. This shidi of yours is losing his mind!!!

Besides feeding the spirit and walking around with the little guy in one of his hands or awkwardly strapped to his chest — with a spirit so tiny it was a bit awkward not to lose him, so Shang Qinghua just kept him in a small wrap made of an old robe of his own when not holding him — he also made sure to babble a lot. While he had no idea if the baby could understand anything, it was important for development or something, and it kept him from going insane waiting for his Shixiong to come back.

It took roughly two days before Shen Qingqiu swept back into his life. He arrived in the evening, a furrow to his brows — perhaps he'd been accused of leaving for a brothel visit again — but armed with a multitude of Qiankun bags. He'd pulled at least five out of his sleeves! Supposedly they were necessary supplies, but Shang Qinghua saw the snacks tucked away in one of the bags. His Shixiong had priorities it seemed.

Having spent a lot of time with the spirit, Shang Qinghua didn't mind handing him over to his other… father? Shen Qingqiu had side-eyed his little improvised sling, but had made quick use of it once he realized you could do a lot of things one-handed, but not everything.

He babbled too, though he'd probably protest that description. Rather, Shen Qingqiu would claim he was simply educating the sprout. As if a 3 day old bamboo spirit was going to remember any of it. Granted, Shang Qinghua had no idea how fast he'd grow, but if he was anything like a human baby then he'd probably not retain much, if any, information beyond "these two giant blobs are my caretakers".

There was still the question of naming said baby. Shang Qinghua had been banned from even thinking of a name — for good reason, probably. He did tend to go for literal meanings, and naming their baby "small bamboo" or "tiny sprout" or something similar didn't exactly scream "I thoughtfully selected this name for our child" and his chickens didn't help, they'd been strike two and three — and so it was completely up to Shen Qingqiu to figure things out.

He didn't give his reasons behind choosing the name Shen Yuan, but Shang Qinghua honestly couldn't care less. Shen Qingqiu was happy, Shang Qinghua was happy and little Shen Yuan was blissfully trying to grab fireflies with his tiny little fists. That were smaller than the fireflies.

No more calling the baby "Mini Airplane" in his head! He had an actual name now! A fully fledged character!

Surely the two of them together could manage raising a child, right?

…Right?

Shen Qingqiu rarely left the cottage nowadays. He would occasionally return to the sect for a brief visit, claiming he still had some duties to finish — really he probably went back to ensure he had the latest scoop on what the sect was up to in regards to Shang Qinghua's disappearance, why else would he always bring an update after his trips?— and to at least pretend he was still a present member of the sect.

It didn't really bother Shang Qinghua that much, as he had taken to parenting surprisingly easy. Then again, a bamboo spirit baby wasn't quite as demanding as a normal baby. Still, he went with the mantra of doing the opposite of what his parents in both lives generally did, and it seemed to work fine. Shen Qingqiu seemed even more clueless, but Shang Qinghua had caught him reading books about child rearing and Shen Yuan was the happiest baby he'd seen since being transmigrated.

Lanterns had been added to the garden for extra light and the little baby would sometimes nap beside one of them, comfortable on a leaf and enjoying the warmth. Thankfully, his qi signature was quite distinct from the normal bamboo so even when he would crawl off to explore he was easy to find. They did have to section off the pond though. Shen Yuan did not understand that the fish would either eat him or accidentally drown him.

It was hard to resist the tears, but Shang Qinghua had a feeling Shen Qingqiu would throw him in the metaphorical doghouse if he didn't hold up the rules they'd decided on. Which were… surprisingly lenient? Any rules that regarded A-Yuan's health were strict, for obvious reasons, but beyond that? They were simple things like no swearing, or about the importance of keeping a routine.

Most had been Shang Qinghua's suggestion, knowing Shen Qingqiu wouldn't know what a normal childhood looked like, but it was clear those books had given him some information because he'd given suggestions too.

He'd been uncharacteristically hesitant while giving them, but Shang Qinghua could hardly blame him. He was used to being shot down without even a discussion, after all. His poor little villain… Shang Qinghua often found himself regretting the many horrors he'd put him through. At the very least, the worst of it would be avoided, hopefully. If he'd been able to though, he would've written a much better childhood for Shen Qingqiu, knowing it would become reality. He'd be the happiest little baby and would grow up happy with his childhood best friend and nothing bad would happen.

Still, there would be no vengeful Luo Binghe turning his roomie into a human stick, nor would there be a bogus trial throwing him into jail for rightfully defending himself from Qiu Jianluo or "killing" Liu Qingge. There were still rumors of his lechery and the sect no doubt still complained about his personality, but Shang Qinghua knew the truth behind those and so he couldn't care less.

A-Yuan couldn't care less either. The little sprout was growing more of a personality by the day and while he enjoyed time with both of his parents he definitely had a favorite. Shang Qinghua suspected it was the green robes Shen Qingqiu wore, and the subtle bamboo embroidered on them. It was incredibly cute, the way the tiny little spirit would climb around Shen Qingqiu's robes as if they were actual bamboo. He was never stopped either, which would probably lead to trouble later on if he climbed something actually dangerous, but they'd handle that when it was time.

For now, seeing a tiny but determined A-Yuan make his way up a sleeve so he could tuck into Shen Qingqiu's collar was too cute to stop.

"This master has been assigned a mission by the sect. It will take some time to finish, however it is of utmost importance this one takes on this task."

Shang Qinghua blinked, uncertain of what to reply to that. On one hand it wasn't as if he'd never looked after the home and A-Yuan alone, but on the other it was never for more than a few hours at a time. At most a day or two. Still, he was a grown adult, it couldn't be that hard!

"Well… stay safe on the mission! A-Yuan and I would be very upset if you ended up hurt, you know?" The words were delivered with a rueful smile. By now Shang Qinghua had a hole in his heart shaped like Shen Qingqiu, and he wasn't sure how to manage life without him anymore. Of course he hadn't told anyone that, it was far too embarrassing, but he was well aware that he was a big softie for aloof and beautiful men who were a little mean to him, and Shen Qingqiu easily filled those boxes.

Said man's face was mostly covered by his fan, but his eyes seemed amused and he was quick to give a nod.

"This master shouldn't take longer than a week, if all goes to plan. It is ultimately a simple task. All this one has to do is find a wayward peak lord after all."

Shang Qinghua couldn't stop his snort. Frankly he was surprised it took them this long to ask Shen Qingqiu to search for him. Their strategist! Or tactician. Shang Qinghua honestly wasn't sure what the difference was and he couldn't exactly look it up anymore.

Regardless, Shen Qingqiu was probably their most capable when it came to gathering information and putting it into use, and they waited months to utilize his expertise? Not that it would lead to anything now, but if they'd asked sooner then they might've had a chance at least.

"Well I wish you the best of luck finding this mysterious peak lord that you definitely don't know and meet with on a regular basis."

The two parted with smiles and little A-Yuan waved enthusiastically like Shang Qinghua had taught him to do whenever Shen Qingqiu was leaving. It always seemed to cheer him up.

Once the two were alone, Shang Qinghua went along with his day as normal, this time with A-Yuan tucked into a small pocket he'd added to the chest of his robes. Was it ugly? Very much so. But it did the job and Shang Qinghua used to wear ratty hoodies and stretched out shirts, so a ruined robe wasn't all that much in comparison. Shen Qingqiu hated it and wanted to fix it, but he'd also turned red and stormed out every time Shang Qinghua took off the robe, so he figured it wasn't that important.

He usually talked to himself while working around the place, with or without A-Yuan, so it truly did feel like a normal day.

The next felt quite normal too, even if A-Yuan had gotten a little cranky when his baba didn't return the next evening.

The third day was when the both of them began to really feel the lack of Shen Qingqiu.

While Shang Qinghua was used to looking after the house by himself, he wasn't used to how much longer everything took when you also had to take numerous breaks to feed, change and play with a tiny baby. Sure, A-Yuan was developing at a much faster rate than a normal child would, but he was still a baby when it came down to it. He cried and threw tantrums. He needed constant attention and care.

And he very much missed his baba and couldn't understand when Shang Qinghua tried to explain that he was coming back, that he wasn't abandoning them and it was just temporary.

It did nothing to stop his crying.

Shang Qinghua couldn't sleep, hardly had time to feed himself and he'd never felt so grateful to know how to practice inedia than at that moment. Most of his time went into trying to console his distraught son, despite how little it seemed to help.

It wasn't until day six when A-Yuan calmed down. He'd grown increasingly attached to Shang Qinghua and would cry even harder any time he was put down, so the two spent every moment together.

While Shang Qinghua worried he was giving A-Yuan separation anxiety by constantly keeping him close, he also couldn't justify leaving a baby to cry for hours just to get work done. The chickens were fine and he was still able to feed them, the crops were flourishing and only took a moment to water when needed and A-Yuan was finally calming down a little.

Shang Qinghua still hoped Shen Qingqiu would come back on time though. Despite practicing inedia, he was exhausted. With how smooth things had been with A-Yuan, he was realizing that his current experience was a lot more like what most parents went through.

On the seventh day, Shen Qingqiu returned before the sun had risen. Shang Qinghua had fallen into a light sleep, waking up at every twitch of the baby resting on his chest, and had woken up yet again when he heard the door to the cottage slide open.

Moments later the door to his room had slid open too, and Shang Qinghua felt wide awake. He'd felt his eyes burn and had latched onto Shen Qingqiu's sleeve the moment he got within reach. Pulled him closer until he'd awkwardly settled down on the bed, body tense.

Shang Qinghua had simply hugged him, mindful of the child still within his pocket. Not long after, Shen Qingqiu had relaxed, the tension leaving his body, arms gently hugging him back.

It felt right.

He'd fallen asleep again soon after and woke up hours later with an empty pocket and Shen Qingqiu puttering about the home softly, speaking lowly to their son. He could hear A-Yuan's soft sniffles, no doubt upset with his baba for taking so long, but the house was calm.

When he finally dragged himself out of bed, he walked into the main room and simply stared. Shen Qingqiu looked soft, dressed down from his usual layers and his hair in a simple braid. When he glanced at Shang Qinghua, no fan in sight, he'd given him a small, uncertain smile before coming closer.

This time, Shen Qingqiu had pulled him into his arms, chin on top of his head. An enthusiastic A-Yuan had crawled his way out of his collar and reached for Shang Qinghua too.

It was the cutest thing he'd ever seen and he'd promptly burst into tears on the spot.

Shen Qingqiu had spoken to him that night, somehow ending up in Shang Qinghua's bedroom again. He'd explained that he'd prefer it if he was simply Shen Jiu within their walls. That it was a name he still found hard to hear, but that it still hurt less than his formal one.

They'd fallen asleep together again, at least Shang Qinghua assumed Shen Jiu had spent some time sleeping at least. He'd looked refreshed in the morning when they'd met in the kitchen to make morning tea. That morning he'd presented Shang Qinghua with several seeds from the Glass Hyacinths he'd mentioned maybe once.

He'd been quick to plant them next to the pond, knowing they enjoyed moisture and would thrive there. The excitement in his eyes had been obvious enough, but the amount of dirt that had ended up on his face proved it just as well. His smile had been radiant, according to Shen Jiu, and he'd been filled with so much energy that he'd hardly noticed the time passing.

Little A-Yuan had been sitting next to him "helping" as well, a tiny dug hole next to the newly planted flowers. Wanting to plant something as well, Shang Qinghua had found him the tiniest bamboo sprout he could find and the two adults had watched their little child bury it happily.

He was slowly growing bigger, the two having noticed his unnatural growth spurt. Considering he had been smaller than the palm of their hands at "birth", they wondered if he'd slow down again once he reached the size of a human baby. Then again, he was developing faster mentally as well, seeming aware of his surroundings and already able to sit, climb and crawl around.

On one hand it was relieving to know that despite being a bamboo spirit, he'd be growing well and wouldn't be so tiny forever — it was quite terrifying to think about all the dangers out there for someone so small. On the other hand though, they both worried there'd be negative side effects. Neither of them had much knowledge about random bamboo babies after all.

A-Yuan seemed happy though. Unbothered, moisturized and thriving.

He'd probably be upset if he grew too big to nap on the pond's lily pads though… Hopefully by then they'd sorted out another napping spot for him in the garden.

Shang Qinghua couldn't help but feel proud every time he walked outside. He'd spend some time every morning before taking care of his chores just… staring. The bamboo had grown quite tall, forming a nice wall and left the yard a lot more private than before. He'd also made sure the fence was more solid and looked nicer too, ensuring the chickens couldn't escape quite as easily. Granted they'd always returned whenever they slipped out of their pen, but he still worried about them! Gertrude especially had pride and stubbornness in droves, willing to fight the entire world by herself.

The crops were growing well too, a harvest due soon for some while the more recently planted flowers had solid stems but had yet to bloom. With how fast it felt like time passed, Shang Qinghua had a feeling he'd see them soon.

A-Yuan had grown into the size of a small baby already, though still on the smaller end. Developmentally he was more akin to a young toddler, though he seemed quite shy in terms of talking. He rarely babbled at all, besides talking nonsense to himself sometimes when he thought they couldn't hear.

When Shang Qinghua had spoken to some of the women in the nearby village about it, they'd been quick to assure him that some children took longer than others and that they should encourage their child by speaking to him often.

They'd then promptly demanded to see the child when possible. He'd somehow gotten away with promises that once A-Yuan was a little older and if his father agreed to it, then he'd gladly let them meet him.

Shen Jiu hadn't laughed out loud at him when he explained what he learned, but he was definitely laughing in his heart. He'd seemed a bit more insecure in regards to him meeting the villagers as well, but had said he'd consider it at least.

The two of them were quick to start talking to A-Yuan more afterwards. Over breakfast they'd try to involve him more, ask him questions and make a show of talking to each other a lot more too. Previously most of their conversations had been filled with a lot more silence, the two used to reading each other without words. Living together had made it a lot easier to understand the other. Shen Jiu knew how Shang Qinghua would sometimes forget to eat when he was too focused on his writing, how he'd wake up in the middle of the night at times and couldn't fall back asleep for hours, how he looked at himself and saw a fraud.

In turn, Shang Qinghua had learnt when Shen Jiu needed space and a moment alone to decompress, when he needed affection and affirmation, how he sometimes couldn't sleep in the same bed as him but that it didn't mean he thought of him as a threat.

But they made an effort to speak out loud for A-Yuan's sake. It was nice, too, to hear the other. To express things out loud. They still kept the more serious or negative discussions for after A-Yuan had fallen asleep though. Shang Qinghua would sometimes go on rants about how much pressure he'd been under at the sect, how he didn't hate all demons, but that working for one had been rough and even though he'd come to understand their cultures more, it still hurt to be hit and he hated it.

Shen Jiu would speak about rumors and betrayals, how he felt as if the rules were always different for him and how he'd just wanted honesty above anything. How he had sometimes missed living on the streets because he'd had companionship, a brother, and that the sect had taken the chance of him having a family again.

How he had a family now and he wouldn't change it for the world, but that a part of him would always wonder why the sect he devoted years to refused to accept him. How it was so relieving just to be understood.

Shen Jiu had cried that night, so so quietly, as if he was afraid he'd bother someone. Shang Qinghua had held him in his arms, tucked against his heart and had spoken himself hoarse with soothing affirmations. Told him how much he valued A-Jiu, how it was admirable how hard he worked, how one's birth didn't define them, that it's what you do with that life that matters and that he was so happy A-Jiu had chosen to live and fight for it.

When Shen Jiu had tearfully pointed out that his shidi wasn't usually so philosophical, he'd admitted he stole the words from someone else but that they still applied — it wasn't the first time he'd dropped a modern quote anyway.

When Shen Jiu ended up crying himself to sleep, Shang Qinghua had carried him inside and gently tucked him in.

And if he left a soft kiss on the top of his head, well that was between him and the quiet night.

A-Yuan truly grew like a bamboo sprout. To anyone looking at him, he looked more akin to a two or three year old than the few months he actually was. His development seemed to have grown with him quite evenly too. He was still shy and tended to hide in his baba's robes when meeting strangers but he understood so much more than a normal child would have.

Granted, the only time he'd met strangers had been when Shang Qinghua introduced Shen Jiu and his son to the nearby village. Tao-ayi and her family had been thrilled to finally meet the "mystery friend A-Hua spoke about so fondly!". It had been an altogether embarrassing experience, his face beet red the entire time, but he'd also felt proud of his little family. Shen Jiu had seemed a bit anxious, but the easy acceptance and refusal to pry — beyond asking for embarrassing stories — had left him at ease and he ended up speaking to Tao-ayi and her daughter for half a shichen.

A-Yuan had hidden behind Shen Jiu for most of it, but had eventually given a shy wave to the aunties — turning as red as his A-die when they cooed in response. Shang Qinghua had made sure to tuck him into his arms when they went back home, telling him how proud he was of him. His little sprout! Meeting people for the first time!! When he started kissing his chubby little cheeks and rubbing his nose A-Yuan had let out a "hmph!!" before demanding "A-die no!".

Shang Qinghua had burst into tears on the spot, pulling Shen Jiu close as well, blubbering about how "A-Yuan said a-die! He spoke!!!"

Moments later their son had turned to Shen Jiu with his arms out, his voice demanding.

"Baba kiss."

Shen Jiu had acquiesced quite easily in the end, though he was much less over the top with his affection. That was okay though. Shang Qinghua didn't mind being the embarrassing dad. He'd make the most of it while he could and Shen Jiu could harass any unfit partners once A-Yuan was old enough.

Assuming A-Yuan didn't end up a heartbreaker like his father.

Despite sharing a bed most nights, Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu hadn't exactly defined their relationship. They had grown close, there was no doubt about that, but Shang Qinghua wasn't sure if they could be considered courting or not. Were they lovers? All their touches had been chaste and they'd never kissed besides a quick peck to the top of the head here and there — usually at night when neither of them were fully awake.

Shang Qinghua would… like it if they were lovers though. Shen Jiu had not only looked away as he left the sect, he'd continued to visit and spend time with him and A-Yuan without saying a word to the sect. Granted, he probably had his own reasons for wanting a place where his martial siblings couldn't bother him, but it didn't change the fact that he chose them.

Actually asking about it though…

He'd once again waited until A-Yuan was put to bed. On the off chance something were to go wrong and they ended up arguing, he didn't want their sprout to hear. He had more than enough experience with how shitty it was to listen to your parents fight and A-Yuan deserved better than that.

They'd sat down in the garden together, little lanterns placed throughout to fill the garden with warm light where the fireflies didn't rest. The peak lord fishes were seemingly having a meeting of their own, perhaps discussing the weather or water temperature. Whatever it was, Liu Fishge seemed displeased, something he pointed out to Shen Jiu happily, enjoying the amused glint in his eyes.

"Ah, but this one had something else to discuss tonight," he spoke up a moment later, resting his head on Shen Jiu's shoulder. "I… we're raising A-Yuan together… But what exactly… are we? Besides parents. I don't wish to push Shixiong, I am happy with what we have, really I am! I just… want to know what A-Jiu thinks of this one…" his voice cracked near the end, nervousness and anxiety slipping through. He was acting like some love struck schoolgirl confessing to her crush!

Aaaahhh!!!! Focus, Airplane! You can have a breakdown later!

Shen Jiu was silent for a long time. He'd grown tense, but he hadn't pushed Shang Qinghua off of him and that had to be a good sign. When he did speak, Shang Qinghua was the one who tensed up, hands clenched in his lap.

"This one… I… I cannot say with certainty what we are," he started. "We are not just parents to A-Yuan. I would not be comfortable with you otherwise. In truth I cannot sleep around men, but around you I feel… safe."

Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, Shen Jiu sighed and it was as if a burden disappeared from his shoulders.

"I'm not used to this," the words were tired but he could hear the determined tone beneath it. "Allowing others close means they can and will betray you. That they will leave you. But you have not. You have stayed… I am the one who keeps leaving you, and you simply accept that."

Shang Qinghua blinked, glancing up at his Shixiong's face. "You're not leaving me, not like that, shixiong. Just as a husband might work during the day and return in the evening, or a wife might take the kids out to the park for a shichen, — at the end of the day, I still know you're returning to me, and I trust you to do so."

"…And if I didn't return?"

"Then I would worry."

"And if I still didn't return?"

"I would look for you."

"… What if you couldn't find me?"

"Then I would continue to look until I did find you. I'm not going to give up on you, A-Jiu."

Shen Jiu looked doubtful, but there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes too. Sitting up straight, Shang Qinghua laid his hands on his shoulders. "I mean it. This little family we've made is the most important thing to me in the world." Gently pulling him closer, making it obvious he could pull away if he wanted to, Shang Qinghua embraced him. "It's okay if you're not ready for anything more, I'm just happy I can be someone you can rely on. Someone you can trust. I don't need anything more and I'd never demand it of you."

He honestly wasn't sure where the words came from. He was usually such an awkward mess when it came to relationships and being open. But he also knew Shen Jiu. Knew him better than anyone. Knew what he needed to hear the most. Perhaps that made it easier to know the words to say.

Shen Jiu's arms met behind Shang Qinghua's back, pulling him even closer. His grip was tight, almost uncomfortable, as if he worried Shang Qinghua would disappear if he let go. He kept softly muttering, his words near inaudible.

"I want to try."

"Please let me try."

Shen Jiu stopped returning to the sect.

Several months went by. Shang Qinghua knew that his previous sect was growing frantic, having two missing peak lords now instead of just the one. Feng-shushu had dropped by their home a few times to let them know cultivators had been in the area, so there was no need to worry about demonic beasts for a while. In fact, he'd given them his blessing to take it easy and focus on their family and leave the demon slaying and curse breaking to the youngsters.

Shang Qinghua wasn't even that old?! Sure, he had a couple decades on him, owing his young appearance to his cultivation, but he really wasn't that old! Still, he was a little worried about the sect getting closer. While the villagers still kept quiet about their little homestead, it was only a matter of time before someone found them, and depending on which peak lord it was…

A sigh escaped his lips.

His courtship with Shen Jiu had been slow, hesitant and wary, but it was clear he was trying. Shang Qinghua had let him make the first moves, patiently letting him set the pace and it had worked really well! Aside from the closeness they already had, Shen Jiu had also started holding his hand and leading him along when he wanted to show him something. He'd wander up next to Shang Qinghua and touch his hand before grabbing it. It was really cute!!

He'd also kissed him! Well, more of a peck, but Shang Qinghua was perfectly content with that. He'd been kissed by his beloved scum villain! No one else could claim that honor. It had been a surprise the first time too. A-Yuan had been babbling about the fish drama in the pond, explaining how Wei Fishwei was divorcing Mu Fishfang — how did he even know what a divorce was? — when Shang Qinghua had zoned out thinking about fish marriage and Shen Jiu had tilted his head towards him and leaned in. Their lips had only touched for a moment but it had snapped him right out of his thoughts.

His face had gone red and he'd sputtered in shock, watching Shen Jiu's lips quirk into an amused smirk before he flipped his fan open to cover it. And then he'd simply… turned back around, continuing to discuss the fish with A-Yuan. When Shang Qinghua had asked him about it later, he'd simply said it felt like the right time.

"… When our son was discussing fish divorce?"

"Well, it would certainly be worrisome if A-Yuan thought we were getting divorced because we "weren't kissing enough", no?"

"But we're not married??????"

"A-Yuan would argue otherwise."

Well fucking played, A-Jiu.

Since then he got used to kisses in the morning at breakfast, during the day if one of them was headed to the village to shop and in the evenings before bed. A-Yuan would also insist on kisses whenever he spotted them. He'd loudly smack his lips together in a "mwah" and peck their noses because "lips are for babas and a-dies!". Shang Qinghua nearly combusted on a daily basis, their sprout was so stinking adorable!

His growing had seemingly slowed down and he was aging more like a human child would. It was a bit relieving considering they'd bring him to the village to play with other kids every so often — and trying to explain their toddler becoming a teenager in a few months would be very difficult. A-Yuan had opened up a lot more too and while he was still wary around strangers, he'd happily gossip with the village aunties and uncles after playing catch or pretend with their children.

Shang Qinghua didn't want Cang Qiong to ruin this.

When A-Yuan found out they weren't actually married, he'd thrown a huge tantrum. He'd been inconsolable, crying and yelling about how baba and A-die didn't love each other so they didn't love A-Yuan either. Trying to explain things to an angry toddler hadn't been easy and all three of them had been emotionally exhausted by the end of it. Eventually they'd managed to convince A-Yuan that not all families were married and that they could still love each other.

"But why baba not married? A-die not wanna?"

"Ah, well… your baba and I-"

"Listen carefully, A-Yuan. When it comes to marriage, there are many preparations that must be made. An auspicious date must be selected, wedding robes must be tailored, guests must be invited… Your A-die and I have been courting for a long time, waiting for the right date. Moreover, once you came to us, we wanted for you to take part too, and so we've waited until you were older."

"… Marry soon? Make honest man of A-die?"

"Where did you even- ... Yes. We will marry soon."

While braiding Shen Jiu's hair that evening, Shang Qinghua couldn't help ask the question that had been on his mind since their talk with A-Yuan.

"… A-Jiu, did you propose to me earlier today?"

"…"

"A-Jiu… At least buy me dinner first."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. A saying in my hometown, that's all. It's uh… a joke. Like, if you asked someone for a kiss they might joke that you should have bought them a fan or a meal first…"

"Mmn, I see."

"S-so… marriage?"

"We will go on a trip tomorrow. There's a town not too far from here with a sizeable market."

"Ah??"

"I will ask again, once I've bought you dinner."

"O-oh."

Tao-ayi had no issue looking after Shen Yuan for the day and Shen Jiu had proposed — this time properly — as they were making the stroll back to their home. Shang Qinghua had maybe cried a little bit. It wasn't the perfect proposal he'd read about in magazines, but it felt real. Honest.

Even if it was partially motivated by a toddler with great lung capacity.

When Shen Jiu was focused on something, he was nigh unstoppable. He clearly had some assistance from the ladies in the village — really, A-Jiu had some kind of aura that made women want to care for him — but when it came to scheduling everything, he was quite strict and matter-of-fact about it. He had them visit a fortune teller, ensured the village ayis were able to sew wedding robes in time for the first auspicious date — which was only months away!!! — and took care of just about every preparation himself!

He did ask Shang Qinghua his opinions, but honestly… he really didn't care! He had no family to bow to and he really just wanted to get married, you know? The ceremony could be whatever A-Jiu wanted, Shang Qinghua only cared about them. Their little sprout was very enthusiastic though. He wanted to pick everything. It wasn't even going to be a big ceremony, but if their son wanted rare flowers that only grew in the demonic realm, well… Shen Jiu was going to get them.

Shen Yuan was a lot calmer despite missing Shen Jiu this time. There were a few tantrums because Shang Qinghua didn't tuck him in the "right way" or his cooking wasn't up to par, but really he knew it was more about missing his baba than Shang Qinghua not being enough. It still stung a little, but Shen Yuan was quick to cuddle him in the mornings when he was less grumpy, which did help him feel a bit better.

It was during one such morning they received some visitors. It was clear to Shang Qinghua immediately that it wasn't anyone from the village. He could feel a sort of heaviness in the air. Pressure, no doubt because of the qi he could sense just inside the wards.

He'd really hoped Shen Jiu would've been home to look after A-Yuan for this, but it looked like he had little choice in the matter. Shen Jiu wasn't due home for another two days, possibly longer if something went awry — Shang Qinghua tried not to think about that though.

Turning to his son, he tucked him in underneath a blanket. "A-Yuan, there's some people here to see A-die. It's a private conversation, so A-Yuan has to stay here, okay?" He could tell his sprout was confused and not very happy about it, but he gave him a sulky nod before burrowing himself beneath the blanket.

I'll take him outside later and let him photosynthesize a little, that should cheer him up! … Assuming things don't… escalate. A-Jiu… I really wish you were here right now, I don't like this…

Still, it was his problem to solve. He'd abandoned the sect after all — and no one was going to believe it was forced seeing his cozy little home. Sure, it was nothing extravagant, but if he'd been forced to leave they'd surely expect a cell or some kind of attic wife situation! Instead he… he made himself a little home and a family.

Though his old sect was not finding out about the latter, if he could help it.

There was a knock at the door. Impatient at that. No doubt Liu Qingge had been told not to break the door down instantly. How polite!

By the time he gathered enough courage to go to the door, the knocks had gotten louder and he could see his door tremble with the force of the knocking. Practically tearing the door open, he let out a groan when the fist harassing his door instead hit his face. He could practically hear his nose crying as it took the brunt of it and he quickly took a step back to avoid any further injury.

Liu-shidi even knocks with fierce strength! I should've expected that…

Hoping Shen Yuan hadn't heard anything, he slunk out the door before shutting it, giving a glance around his front yard. They hadn't brought the entire peak lord set, but seeing four of them was more than enough to make Shang Qinghua want to disappear on the spot. Besides Liu Qingge they'd of course brought the sect leader, as well as Wei Qingwei and Mu Qingfang for some reason.

Well, probably in case he was held prisoner and tortured, or something… Wei Qingwei was an odder choice, but he did have a sword capable of detecting possession and the like. Liu Qingge was… probably the one who found him? And called for backup instead of barging in himself, for some reason. He wasn't quite sure how yet but there was simply no way the four had been traveling together when stumbling across his home. He hadn't sensed anything crossing his wards besides a stray animal or two. Then again they hardly stretched very far out from his yard… He should've listened to Shen Jiu and expanded them a long time ago.

Rubbing his sore nose gently, he let out a sigh. "What brings the exalted peak lords of Cang Qiong mountain to this humble abode?" His tone echoed how tired he felt. They come into his house in the month of his wedding and ask him to explain himself?!

"Shang Qinghua!"

He blinked. "Yes, peak lord Liu?" His response only seemed to agitate the man further. Before he could explode however, Yue Qingyuan was quick to interject.

"Shang-shidi, it is good to see you are well. We have been searching for you for… quite some time." Very polite. Very safe. The diplomatic side of Yue Qingyuan was a familiar sight indeed. "Perhaps shidi could explain what has happened since last he was present at the sect? It has been a long time and this shixiong has been concerned." The words were delivered in a kind tone, but it was the same way he'd speak to people he was really quite upset with but social rules demanded he remain polite.

Mu Qingfang was probably his best bet at sympathy, then. His initial plan had been to run away if he got caught, which obviously stopped being a viable option long ago. A lie, then. He couldn't let them know about Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan. He could tell Yue Qingyuan was frazzled in a way he couldn't quite hide, no doubt worried for his shidi. Well, his other shidi, the one he considered a true brother.

Shang Qinghua was… probably more a matter of the sect suffering due to his absence. Which. Ouch. Kind of hurt a little. When Shen Jiu had initially mentioned the sect looking for him, he'd felt smug, knowing they were finally forced to see just how much he did for the sect. Looking back on it though, he remembered Shen Jiu had also mentioned they started looking because the sect started struggling. It wasn't his disappearance, not really. He was just an afterthought until it affected someone else.

Fuck, that really did sting. He couldn't afford to cry in front of them though. It wouldn't get him any sympathy anyway. He'd just have to come up with a convincing enough lie and get them to leave. Hopefully without him in immortal binding cables.

"… This one wasn't aware he needed to inform the sect every time he left. Liu-Shidi certainly doesn't."

Fuck, that's not what I was supposed to say-

"Moreover, this one thought he had made it abundantly clear he has no wishes to return to the sect."

There are no truth pollen flowers in my garden so why can't I-

"After all, why would one wish to return to a sect that could not be bothered to treat this one with a modicum of respect? A sect that failed to notice this one was missing until it affected them? A sect that has mistreated this one for years expecting him to simply accept it?" His words grew more and more bitter, spilling out without stopping and his voice kept growing louder. They'd hardly said a thing and yet Shang Qinghua just couldn't stop himself.

"Shang-Shidi-"

"Don't call me that," he hissed, interrupting the sect leader without hesitation. "For years I stayed despite being treated like shit! For years I kept fixing everyone's messes because if I didn't, An Ding peak was blamed! Every single time I asked for the smallest thing it was denied because every other peak was more important! The only peak that should have been prioritized above An Ding was Qian Cao and the one sourcing everything for them was me!"

Shang Qinghua was panting, so filled with rage he was surprised he wasn't deviating. It hurt. It hurt so much. But it felt good, to finally speak the words he'd wanted to throw at his sect for so long.

Yue Qingyuan looked shocked, his face pale, and he made no more attempt to interrupt. Perhaps he finally understood how much he'd overlooked as a sect leader.

Liu Qingge looked ready to throttle him, being held back by Wei Qingwei who looked rather ashamed. Mu Qingfang… He had a mostly blank look on his face, but there was a slight furrow to his brow. Whatever thoughts his mind held, he decided to speak up.

"Shang-shixiong, this one understands your anger… It it evident there has been some… mistreatment, and it is as you say, undeserved. It has become clear how much your ability to run An Ding smoothly has benefited the sect. I— This one still remembers when we were disciples, when sourcing ingredients was far more difficult. This master should have expressed his thanks properly, but did not and that is a failure on my part."

His words sounded sincere, topped off with a far deeper bow than he'd ever gotten. It soothed his wounds a little, but really, Mu Qingfang was the peak lord he was upset with the least. He'd at the very least held some respect for An Ding, even if it was mostly motivated by their quick sourcing of even the rarest materials. But even then—

Some mistreatment? Some?

"Even in your apology you make light of what I've suffered through." He couldn't stop the bitter chuckle from slipping out. "Some mistreatment, you say? And just what would that refer to? How Bai Zhan would raid An Ding peak repeatedly, beating up disciples to the point where work assigned by the sect was delayed? Treatment I went through as a disciple? As a head disciple? Or perhaps when Xian Shu began spreading rumors I was sleeping with my disciples because I dared treat them well? Because I opened my home to disciples having night terrors due to the raids? Because I hugged a female disciple who had just found out she'd lost her older brother? Because I accompanied her to the burial? Or maybe—" he took a breath, a bitter laugh surfacing. "Or maybe when this one was denied care at Qian Cao because he was surely exaggerating? Perhaps you meant that?"

The world was silent. Even Liu Qingge looked pale now. Shang Qinghua mustered up a smile, filled with so much acid it would surely burn on touch.

"Every single thing I did was never enough. An Ding kept the sect running all this time and yet it is always looked down upon. If anything, you should be grateful. A demon would have killed me in a mere moment. It took you nearly two decades. If any of you truly holds any care for me, just let me stay dead and fix your own sect. I no longer want anything to do with it."

His words felt final. Like he won a debate, despite having no opponent. He could feel his eyes burn though, and the look on the peak lords faces' made it clear it wasn't over. Nor did the pitter patter of feet approaching the door. Before Shang Qinghua could stop him, little A-Yuan pushed the door open with a furious look on his face.

"Meanies go way! Can't kill A-die!" Moments later his arms were wrapped around Shang Qinghua's leg, Shen Yuan trembling. From anger or fear, he wasn't sure, but it upset him regardless. His kid shouldn't be seeing or hearing any of this! Crouching down he pulled Shen Yuan into his arms without hesitation, making sure to cover him as best as he could.

"… Xiao-Jiu?"

Fuck.

"A-Yuan, I asked you to stay inside…" Ignoring the others, he focused on his son. "A-die is fine, see?" His son took the time to inspect him, poking and prodding with a fierce look of focus. Concluding he wasn't lying, Shen Yuan peeked around him.

"Meanies go way! Not avowed on A-Yuan's home!" His voice was a bit shaky, and Shen Yuan was quick to duck back and use Shang Qinghua as cover. He also buried his face in Shang Qinghua's chest, his shoulders shaking. Taking hold of him, he stood back up, only turning enough towards the peak lords so he could see them.

"As you can see, you're upsetting my son. It would be best if you left. Now."

Without another glance at them, he walked back inside of his house, shutting the door behind him. When it wouldn't shut completely, he glared at the foot wedged between it and the wall.

"Yue Qingyuan, what do you think you're doing?"

Shang Qinghua blinked, turning away from the door entirely, his eyes widening.

Shen Jiu was home.

He'd felt it while knee deep in mud, digging up the roots of an Abyssal Depths Daffodil. Stuffing the flower into his sleeve quickly, he'd wasted no time bringing forth Xiu Ya.

Someone had triggered his wards. More than one person, he found a moment later. While Shang Qinghua was more than capable of protecting their son, it didn't change the fact that Shen Jiu refused to stand by and do nothing when a potential threat was at their home. He'd ensured the wards would only react to strong qi, so he knew it had to be cultivators and who were more likely than the peak lords of Cang Qiong?

When not long after he'd sensed a slight burn to the talisman tucked into his robes — signaling his fiance might be spiraling into qi deviation — and the additional wards he'd placed on A-Yuan went off, he sped up.

His meridians would surely be in disarray later, but that was pain he was willing to suffer if it meant reaching his family in time. He would not allow anyone to harm them, and if they had dared…

I will make them wish they were never born.

Navigating his way through the skies was not difficult. He hadn't needed to travel far into the demon realm for the flowers and while the trip there had taken him almost two days, he had been traveling at a leisurely pace and spent plenty of time in the towns along the way. He'd bought souvenirs and books he planned to gift to both his son and his fiance.

All he cared about now though was making sure they were alright, and deal with whoever dared intrude on their peace.

Shang Qinghua didn't need cultivator hearing to hear a pin drop in the silence that ensued. He was happy to see Shen Jiu, truly he was! But what the fuck? He was supposed to be in the demonic realm gathering flowers and now he was walking inside from the backyard?? While there were four sect lords outside of their front door.

It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Shen Yuan, upon hearing his baba's voice was quick to untuck himself from Shang Qinghua's chest, wiggling around to reach for Shen Jiu, a happy "Baba!!! Baba home!!" leaving his lips. A part of him was just relieved A-Yuan was cheering up. The other was having a crisis knowing Yue Qingyuan was right there and there was no way the peak lords would leave now.

"Xiao-Jiu!"

"Don't call me that!"

Ah, there it was. Glancing down at the child in his arms, he was met with a confused look. "Baba no kissie?" Truly, their kid… Giving him a soft pat on the head, Shang Qinghua sighed. "Baba will give you kissies, don't you worry. How about you and baba go make some tea, hmm?"

He sent Shen Jiu a very intense side eye, glancing towards the kitchen. Please get our son out of this room. While Shen Jiu's face held annoyance, he gave a small nod and quickly picked A-Yuan out of his arms. When Yue Qingyuan burst into their home to try and follow, Shang Qinghua blocked him.

"Do not. Barge into my home, and start chasing my fiancé and child around. Back the fuck up, Yue Qingyuan, or I'll show you just how I survived that demon attack decades ago. The same goes for the rest of you!"

He'd survived by clinging to said demon's thighs, but none of them knew that.

"Let me make it clear, again, since apparently you didn't get it the first time!" Bodily pushing Yue Qingyuan back outside, he glanced between the peak lords still on his porch. Pointing at each of them in turn, he continued. "I don't want any of you here. Neither does my son. Neither does A-Jiu." Making sure to stare straight into Yue Qingyuan's wet eyes, he narrowed his own. "He didn't come back here to see any of you. He came back because A-Yuan was frightened. He came back because you registered as a threat."

Honestly, he was guessing, but with how paranoid Shen Jiu could be, he wouldn't be surprised if A-Yuan had more wards stuck to him than even Shang Qinghua could sense.

How else would he even know to come back early? There's no way he finished getting the flowers this quickly!

Shang Qinghua crossed his arms, letting out a deep sigh as he made sure to block the door. He'd just wanted A-Yuan out of the situation but really, what the hell were they supposed to do now? Yue Qingyuan wouldn't leave, Liu Qingge definitely wouldn't leave either and the other two would probably remain to ensure their sect leader wouldn't end up imploding from a qi deviation.

Honestly, he couldn't claim to hate any of them. His old sect frustrated him, yes, and the peak lords were a big part of that, but he didn't hate them. Mu Qingfang wanted to help people, even if he'd been blind to his peak's biases. Qi Qingqi cared deeply for her disciples and had rescued many from bad situations and arranged marriages, giving them the chance to live their life more freely. Wei Qingwei was one of the most friendly peak lords, often dropping by other peaks without warning just to say hi.

Liu Qingge had saved his life on missions several times despite complaining about it. Shen Qingqiu had let him run off — and later proposed to him, but that wasn't a thing at the time!

Yue Qingyuan had offered genuine advice and kindness many a time, despite being hopeless when it came to understanding Shang Qinghua's workload.

They weren't bad people, even if they'd been, in Shang Qinghua's opinion, quite stupid. He could still feel that burning anger in his chest though. Even if it was irrational. They really didn't know the amount of shit he'd waded through on that mountain, but a part of him had still expected them to understand why he left. When they realized he left and wasn't kidnapped.

He wanted to blame it on himself. He wrote them after all, but then again… few of the Peak Lords were detailed in his novel. Most of the choices they'd made were ones he had no hand in. It had taken him a long time to even process just how different the world was from what he'd once written. Whether it was the System's doing, or just the consequences of his characters becoming real…

Ugh… I just want to go back to bed and cuddle my son and fiance.

Instead he was stuck in the most awkward face off ever!!! Aaaahhh!! Sure, he was glad no one was dragging him off, but he also wanted to pretend the day never happened and go back to his cozy farmer life! His heart felt heavy and really, he probably did need a good cry but that was going to have to wait.

"Shang-Shidi… This shixiong is glad you are well. It was a surprise finding you here, with a family too at that!" Wei Qingwei's attempt at conversation was a bit awkward, clearly ignoring the many elephants in the room, but Shang Qinghua did have to give him some credit.

"Yeah well… it was nice to relax for once."

"Understandable. I've been encouraging Qingfang-shidi to take breaks lately! A nice trip to the coast can really empty the mind."

"I'm sure it can."

"… So… Fiancé? Congratulations! Didn't expect Shen-Shixiong to ever settle down but… good for you! How'd that happen anyway? He went missing a while ago and we all thought you'd both been victim to some dastardly scheme!"

You could cut the tension with a knife. Yue Qingyuan had given an especially violent looking twitch at Wei Qingwei's words. Shang Qinghua honestly didn't really want to spill their personal business. A-Jiu was a private person, and while he wasn't — the amount of weird shit he'd put in his chapter notes back in the day…— it didn't feel right to blabber about their private lives. Letting out a sigh, he shrugged.

"It's private-"

"Is that why he disappeared?" Liu Qingge's voice rang out, making him twitch in surprise. Bro what? Why was that his focus???

"??? I didn't kidnap him, if that's what you're asking."

Hearing steps approaching the door, he took a step to the side. When it opened he glanced over to see his fiancé exiting the house, A-Yuan nowhere in sight. Hopefully he was tucked in for a nap or something.

"Indeed, this master is more than capable of making his own choices."

Something in his chest seemed to settle a little, hearing his voice. The burning feeling lessened, just a bit. Shen Jiu gave him a weirdly intense look before seeming satisfied with something. The tea he'd gone to prepare was nowhere to be seen, instead he had his favorite fan unfolded in front of his face, softly fanning himself.

"This master has no intention to return to the sect, you can leave."

"Xiao-Jiu!"

"Don't call me that!" His angry words were accompanied by a loud smack, his fan leaving a red imprint on Yue Qingyuan's face. "How many times must this master say this!?"

While tears were rolling down the sect leader's cheeks, he had a stubborn look on his face. "Shen-Shidi! You vanished months ago with no word! With Shang-Shidi's disappearance, what were we supposed to believe? Liu-Shidi finally managed to locate Shang Qinghua and we come to find the two of you… moved in together, had a child and are getting married?" His voice was shaky, cracking near the end as if the very idea of Shen Jiu marrying Shang Qinghua hurt him physically. Like he'd watched his chick leave the nest only to marry a deadbeat boyfriend with a shotgun wedding after he got him pregnant!

Which, Shang Qinghua was a very involved dad! He did chores too! Hell, he'd been running his own farm for ages before A-Jiu moved in! Also, if anything, A-Jiu was the one who baby trapped him! He was happy to be baby trapped, but that wasn't the point!

"Is this master not allowed to get married and have children without Zhangmen-Shixiong's permission? Should he expect to die a lonely spinster instead of choosing his own path in life? Will that please you?!"

"Of course not! But to leave the sect without a word, abandoning your peak and disciples and worrying everyone, only for us to find out neither of you were kidnapped or hurt—"

"So you're upset we weren't harmed?! You'd prefer it if you'd come here to find me in chains and tortured?! Ripped to shreds by some demonic beast?"

"That's not what I said, Xiao-Jiu!"

"H-hey uh, Zhangmen-shixiong, Shen-Shixiong—"

"Then be clear with your words for once! Stop hiding behind half-truths and speak to me honestly! You already made it clear I wasn't worth the truth, yet you expect the same courtesy?! Why should I tell you that I planned to leave the sect? That I found a family that actually cares for me? That doesn't lie to me, hiding behind their own guilt instead of giving me the choice to forgive him!"

"Xiao-Jiu—!"

"Is that all you can say?! A name I've told you I loathe! Yet you insist on clinging onto it!"

"Should… should we not stop them, Qingfang..? Liu-Shidi??"

No one seemed to even hear Wei Qingwei beyond Shang Qinghua, too distracted by the argument in front of them. The burning feeling in his chest was back, his body stiff and tense. They both needed this, though perhaps it would have been better in private. Swallowing the lump in his throat — seeing A-Jiu so upset was painful — Shang Qinghua took a step forward, laying his hand on Shen Jiu's shoulder.

"A-Jiu," he spoke softly. No other words were needed, his fiancé taking a deep breath and relaxing his shoulders. He was still tense and a brief check informed his that his qi was agitated, but Shang Qinghua sent some of his own qi to soothe it. He was no expert, but he knew how to do that much, at least.

Yue Qingyuan looked considerably worse, his face a mess of tears and snot, a fierce red tone to his skin. He looked heartbroken and furious at the same time. Letting out a sigh deep enough to expel every worry in the world, Shang Qinghua put himself between them.

"Yue Qingyuan, you need to accept that A-Jiu isn't the same person you knew before. He has his own thoughts and feelings and you need to respect that. Acting overbearing while allowing others to disrespect him has only confused him more, and hurt him."

Turning to look at Shen Jiu, he pursed his lips. Why am I being the reasonable one right now? I went on my own rant not long ago! I'm not supposed to be the reasonable one!

"A-Jiu, I understand your anger and you don't have to forgive anyone. You were hurt and it's understandable to feel upset. Leaving the sect without a word was a shitty thing to do though. It was when I did it, and it was when you did it. I'm glad I left, but I also know I left behind many disciples that are worried and fearful. That many members of the sect that did nothing wrong to me were caught in the crossfire when I abandoned my post. Yue Qingyuan and the sect are allowed to be upset about that."

God, he wanted to cringe from his own words. Today had been way too emotionally charged and he just wanted to sleep.

"Frankly, I'm tired of arguing on our porch. This place is supposed to be peaceful. Filled with happy memories."

Giving a soft smile to A-Jiu, his face hardened as he turned to face Yue Qingyuan again.

"Are we being dragged back to the sect for punishment?"

The sect leader flinched as if struck.

"No! This one just wants to understand—"

Shang Qinghua raised his hand.

"Then we should stop this here. I've already asked you to leave, and it's painfully obvious that most of us are… agitated. I didn't put all this time into building a home here to abandon it, so if you're worried about A-Jiu disappearing again, there's no need. Just go back to the sect, please."

Yue Qingyuan drooped like a withered flower. His breaths were hitching and it was clear he was overwhelmed. It was honestly just sad.

"Write a letter, Zhangmen-Shixiong. Words are often affected by emotions and it can be hard to get them to come out right. So write a letter instead. It's up to A-Jiu if he chooses to read it and reply to it, and I ask you to respect that choice."

Another sigh. God he was so fucking tired.

"As for the sect, if you are still struggling then I assume you haven't had a proper conversation with my head disciple. I made sure he was more than ready to keep An Ding running, if he's given the proper authority to lead. As angry as I am with my mistreatment, I've never sought to destroy the sect."

Yue Qingyuan continued to weep, but nodded rapidly. While Wei Qingwei was already dragging Liu Qingge away, who was clearly upset with how everything had gone down, Mu Qingfang made sure to check on both his sect leader and the couple. A-Jiu had refused his help, instead staring at his once Qi-ge, seemingly battling with something in his heart. A moment later he angrily used his sleeves to roughly wipe Yue Qingyuan's face clean, muttering and complaining the entire time about how stupid and unsightly the sect leader was.

By the time they finally left, Shang Qinghua was ready to drop down dead where he stood. Asking A-Jiu where A-Yuan was had gotten him a hand gripping his before dragging him to their bedroom. Tucked into their bed, their little sprout was sprawled on the covers, asleep and snoring away.

They practically threw their robes off, laying down on each side of their son, embracing one another.

A-Yuan let out some grumbles from being moved, but quickly settled down between them, completely ignorant to their soft conversation.

"Thank you for coming back, A-Jiu."

"… I couldn't stand the thought of someone harming either of you."

"A-Yuan might sulk over those flowers, but… I'm glad you're here."

"He'll have to settle for a single daffodil. We'll ensure it's featured prominently during the ceremony."

"Hah… he'll enjoy that. Hey, A-Jiu?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"… Thank you."

"For loving you? I don't need a thank you for that, silly."

"No, for letting me love you."

"… A-Jiu…"

"Rest. We will talk more later."

Shang Qinghua didn't fall asleep for a long time, listening to the soft breaths of his family. Despite feeling exhausted, he wanted to look at them for just a little bit longer.

"… Thank you for choosing me, A-Jiu…"

With a soft kiss to his son's forehead and his fiance's cheek, he settled down and closed his eyes at last.

He really was glad he'd ended up in this world.

Their wedding was small, held in the village in a small outdoor pavilion by the flower fields. A-Jiu looked radiant in his red wedding robes, a soft blush on his cheeks and equally soft smile on his lips. He looked so happy. Not even the sight of Yue Qingyuan and Mu Qingfang in the audience seemed to dim his joy.

Yue Qingyuan had sent his letter, and though it had taken a long time before Shen Jiu had felt ready to read it, once he had he'd penned a scathing reply before sending of an invitation to their wedding, insisting he bring Mu Qingfang lest he deviated during their vows. Their relationship was still tense, but the letters seemed to help. Seemed to smooth out some hurts, even if forgiveness was nowhere near, if ever happening.

Still, Shang Qinghua had been more than happy to allow the two peak lords to come. Mu Qingfang had also reached out after their catastrophic porch meeting, expressing his sincere apologies and offering his aid should they ever need it.

The rest of the peak lords were still very much banned, but they were taking small steps. Shen Jiu had hesitantly started instructing Qing Jing peak through letters. Guiding them on what to do and how to run the peak in his absence. From what Shang Qinghua had heard, the sect seemed more stable lately.

Neither of them had any plans of returning to the sect proper, and Shang Qinghua had burned the one attempt at mailing him paperwork with great prejudice. A-Yuan had cheered him on and everything!

Speaking of their son, he was dressed up in a fancy set of robes already streaked with grass and dirt stains, his smile the biggest it's ever been. He'd been so excited, waving his fancy demonic daffodil and proclaiming "Baba making A-die honest man! Marry forever!" to anyone that would listen to him. It had been a little embarrassing but the villagers were polite enough to laugh when their backs were turned instead of to their faces.

Shang Qinghua's own robes were no less extravagant, but he was grateful A-Jiu had given him far less accessories to wear and "allowed him" to style his hair far simpler. Neither had worn a veil, preferring to see the other clearly.

The mood had remained light and joyous, even through the silence as the two grooms performed their three bows. Yue Qingyuan and Mu Qingfang had looked quite touched when the second bow was performed for them — in fact, Yue Qingyuan had burst into tears then and there.

When their third bow was performed for one another, Shang Qinghua couldn't resist the temptation and longer and swept A-Jiu into his arms. Laughing at the disgruntled look on his husband's face, he turned to watch their son run up to them and throw himself into A-Jiu's arms.

His babbling was near incomprehensive but the sheer happiness was more than obvious and Shang Qinghua happily carried the two of them to the table set up with a feast. Shen Yuan spilled plenty of food on his father's robes, but neither of them cared. They were already a family, but now not even the heavens could deny their bond.

Going to bed that night as A-Jiu's husband, Shang Qinghua couldn't keep a smile off of his lips. A-Yuan had declared he wanted to sleep in his own room and so the space between them was oddly empty. Apparently the little sprout had heard something about how married couples needed to cuddle the first night, or they would divorce — really who the hell was teaching his son this stuff?!

It was strange not having their son there, the sticky little thing he was, but when A-Jiu pulled him in for a deep kiss, he found he didn't mind just this once.

He minded a lot more when A-Yuan came barreling into their room the next morning, jumping onto their bed and elbowing his ribs beneath the covers.

His very naked ribs. When their son kept climbing around and whining at them to get up, covering their face with kisses, he let out a groan before grabbing hold of him, tickling him until his face was red.

"Naughty A-Yuan! Baba and A-die are still tired, you silly little sprout! You didn't even bring breakfast, yet you think A-die will get up?! Never!"

His son shrieked with laughter before standing up on the bed, wobbling his way to the edge, no doubt kneeing his other father in the gut if A-Jiu's grunt was anything to go by. Sprinting out of their room, the pitter patter of small feet trailed off and the sound of babbling and clucking replaced it.

Giving a tired look to his husband, Shang Qinghua sat up against the headboard before stretching his arms with a loud yawn.

"Don't go back to sleep, A-Jiu. We need to get dressed before the gremlin gets back," he mumbled softly, already dragging himself out of bed to fetch some robes. Ignoring the very intense stare he could feel on his body, he let out another groan while gently massaging his lower back. Throwing a few sets of robes on the bed, he quickly slipped into some inner robes. When he turned around A-Jiu was grumpily putting on clothes, still looking half-asleep.

Like a grumpy cat… cute.

It took some time, but the two did eventually dress, joining A-Yuan in the kitchen where he was balancing a bowl full of eggs a little too big for him. Listening to their son explaining all about how Gertrude and Cornelius were teaching him the best way to find worms, the couple shared a soft smile above his head.

They might have done things in the wrong order, but neither of them would change a thing.