Chapter Text
“Rolling in three, two, one!”
“Hello!” A cheerful reporter greeted the camera, flashing a brilliant smile, “Today for our reports- the main street in the Jin district is closed due to an explosion believed to be caused by Emperor. The docks report that Black Water was spotted offshore and warn that cargo ships should take caution. Huan Hua Agency and Qiu Media Corporations have proposed a partnership. The Officials state that the bill for heroes’ personal identities to be public knowledge has been revoked to keep our protectors safe.”
A loud crash was heard from behind her. The camera zoomed in on a cloud of dust erupting from the marble building with the sign ‘Museum of Heroes’ emblazoned on the front. A figure in light green robes jumped from the hole, quickly pursued by a man in black and red.
The reporter grinned, “Speaking of protectors, the city's finest hero and beloved heartthrob! Junshang!”
“Shizun!” The man in black called out, “You are under arrest!”
“Three out of ten! Obvious from the get-go!” His opponent yelled back, “Try for something more powerful!”
“Classic banter from these two.” She informed the microphone with a dazzling grin.
.+*+.
"There is a spark of light in your heart," Junshang implored, holding his arms out in a picturesque beseeching pose, "There is good in you, I can sense it!"
"Nice metaphor," Shen Yuan gave the hero a thumbs up, "Unfortunately I don't have anything left in me."
This wasn't entirely true, he hadn't eaten breakfast, since the heist started at dawn (classic for a reason!) and he'd been rooting around in the Museum archive for the best part of the morning, but he did fortunately have the foresight to tuck a granola bar into his waistband. But, Shen Yuan assumed that Junshang meant it in a grand symbolic way instead of literal.
“I can give you something to live for, if only you'd accept your good side. “
Shen Yuan quirked an eyebrow under his domino mask, “Bit pretentious, don't you think?”
Junshang looked a bit abashed and huffed quietly, “I am trying!”
“I know, “ Shen Yuan soothed, keeping his voice low so the nearby reporter couldn't hear, “It's hard coming up with this on the spot. That's why I recommend having a few lines memorised. Make flashcards or something. A flowchart might be helpful.”
The hero straightened, looking like a praised puppy, “Good idea, Shizun! How about a countdown situation?”
“Go for it, I do love a good countdown.”
“Okay! Ten!”
Shen Yuan hummed, “Maybe sound a little less excited and more… husky?”
“Ten.”
“Stop flirting and focus.” Shang Qinghua snapped into his earpiece, “And please stop giving Junshang advice.”
“No, no.” Liu Mingyuan’s slightly amused voice joined in, “Continue. I need new material.”
“Uh.. Shizun? I’ve, um. I’ve got it.” Gongyi Xiao spoke with uncertainty.
“Oh, that's good.” Shen Yuan said, “How long till you can leave?”
“Maybe twenty seconds.”
“Cool.” Shen Yuan eyed where Junshang was on ‘two’, “Hey, is it okay if you restart? I think your ‘eight’ could be much more powerful if you tried again.”
“Oh, my god.” Shang Qinghua mumbled, “I swear- if this works-”
Junshang grinned and gave him a thumbs up, “Okay! Ten.”
“I hate you" Shang Qinghua seethed, "I actually hate you."
“Pseudonym?” Shen Yuan rubbed his temple, tuning out Shang Qinghua's rambling.
Liu Mingyuan blew a raspberry into her microphone, “Coming.”
“Don’t take that tone at me! I’m the one that gave you this opportunity. You said you wanted extra credit.”
“Four!”
“I asked Mrs Hualing! And I meant it in a sexy way!” A crash from Liu Mingyuan’s side rattled through the comms.
“Three.”
“How was I supposed to know that? You’re passing my classes now!”
“I’ve also become a criminal! My brother is Chief-of-Police!”
“How is your brother?”
“Two.”
“Still upset he can’t see more of you.”
“We have lunch together every Tuesday?”
“Not that kind of ‘see more’.”
“One!”
Junshang launched himself at Shen Yuan.
“Oh fuck," Shen Yuan yelped and dodged, barely missing getting a faceful of Junshang’s red and black cape, and began running from the Museum, toward the crowd of gathered civilians. A large glass pane in a shoe shop front reflected Junshang trailing after him.
A window about three stories up smashed, and a girl wearing pale purple and wielding a sword descended from the newly made exit, landing in a classic superhero pose on the pavement. Liu Mingyuan brandished her sword at Junshang, who had turned to face her. Shen Yuan felt a little bad that it was three against one, but Junshang actually had powers. Shen Yuan and Liu Mingyuan were just doing cardio. Shang Qinghua never left his desk.
“I’m out.” Gongyi Xiao mumbled, “I’ll meet you in an hour.”
“An Ding is up.” Shang Qinghua said over the typing of a keyboard, “She’ll be there in five.”
“Minutes?” Liu Mingyuan gasped, and Junshang grabbed her by the neck. Shen Yuan wondered if he should be offended that the hero didn’t consider him enough of a threat to break out the asphyxiation. Surely Junshang knew he was a Real Actual Threat, right?
“Seconds.”
A rumbling tore through the ground like an earthquake, the nearby civilians yelling in panic and throwing themselves on the ground. A few hundred metres up the street, An Ding, Shang Qinghua’s pet, was skittering down the road.
Shen Yuan watched the fight for a little longer, admiring both Liu Mingyuan’s broad, steady slices and Junshang’s poised forms. An Ding quickly evened the fight, allowing Liu Mingyuan to retreat.
“No!” Junshang yelled as he punched a dent into An Ding’s metal cover, “Come back, you coward! Finish this!”
Liu Mingyuan rolled her eyes, “I can’t; this fight must continue another day.”
She turned and jogged off as Junshang tore one of An Ding’s limbs off.
“Ugh, sorry, girl.” Shang Qinghua muttered, “Don’t worry, I can fix you.”
An Ding made a sad noise as it limped away from Junshang, who was panting heavily and holding his ribs, where Liu Mingyuan had got him. Shen Yuan tilted his head and watched for a few more moments before melting into the shadows and unzipping himself from the hell Liu Mingyuan called fashion in a public restroom.
On the way out he tossed the granola bar wrapper in the bin.
.+*+.
“So, Junshang, how do you think that fight went?”
Luo Binghe cradled his ribs discreetly in front of the camera. Pseudonym was a heavy hitter, one of the villains that he actually enjoyed fighting. Her moves were always mesmerising, much like an artist's brushstrokes, and she fought with a grace he hadn’t seen in anyone else.
“Considering that I’m still standing, I think the fight went as well as it could.”
The reporter tittered with laughter, “Ah, Junshang. Stop being modest. We all know no one can bring you to your knees.”
Luo Binghe scratched his neck, “Ahh, don’t say that! You’ll jinx me.”
“Do you think any more 54SILVER attacks will occur?” Another reporter asked, shoving a microphone in his face, “Is this the start of a chain?”
“Unlikely,” Luo Binghe responded, “54SILVER, whilst being a villain group, is not particularly violent. I think this is simply a break-in, not a catalyst.”
“What efforts will be made to relocate the missing item?”
“I’m sure the Metropolis police department will have a task force put together.” His charming smile negates any effect his frosty tone may inflict. Honestly, it was like they expected him to actually track down criminals; that was a police job. He just hit people dressed in spandex.
“Any girlfriends?” A reporter asked.
“How often do you shower?”
“Junshang! Reporter from FanBase Weekly- what shampoo do you use?”
Another microphone was shoved in his face; this one was pink and glittery, with the woman attached to it a familiar face. He knew her- she often turned up where he did to ask questions and perform quick interviews. Luo Binghe also knew that she knew what hair product he used- he’d caught her rifling through his bathroom after they had slept together for the third time. He held no interest for her now, not after she’d published an exposé article on his sex life, using herself as an informant.
A flawless smile was thrown her way, photogenic at every angle (Huan Hua Agency was thorough in their construction of his persona), and with a hair flick Luo Binghe replied, “Thank you for noticing, my Agency has partnered with Glitz n Glamour to produce the best haircare product for me- and soon for my fans as well!”
Rapid camera flashes assaulted his eyes; people rushed to ask questions that overlapped into a chattering, swirling noise. Luo Binghe groaned internally. They weren’t going to let him leave without a proper sit-down interview.
.+*+.
Shen Yuan watched the backs of his students leave his lecture hall. He’d only just made it back a few minutes before the start, and caught Liu Mingyuan slinking into the back about ten minutes later. His villain suit was haphazardly stuffed into his shoulder bag that sat by his desk- he hoped no one caught the pale green sleeve poking out.
Flicking most of the lights except for the ones around his desk off, Shen Yuan rummaged around his bag for the Junshang USB he used to store his teaching plans, villain plans, and his tunnelling plans. He got it at a fan meet he’d dragged Shang Qinghua to when they were twenty before Junshang’s two redesigns. His worn-down, stylised green and pink Lotus smiled up at Shen Yuan as he plugged it into the laptop.
With a relieved sigh, Shen Yuan slumped onto his chair, scooting closer to his screen. He squinted at the screen, re-reading reports he’d written years prior, detailing the various leads he’d investigated. None of them produced his much-sought-after answer.
A rolled-up piece of paper was slid across his desk a few minutes later, startling him out of his reverie. Gongyi Xiao stood awkwardly by his side, holding another piece of paper in his hands.
“Here it is.” Gongyi Xiao whispered hoarsely.
Shen Yuan fought back a smile, “Voice still gone?”
His student shot him a baleful look. Three nights ago, their ‘book club’ meeting had diverted from the usual bickering and plotting to karaoke. Shen Yuan was delighted to find that the silence continued when he woke up- Shang Qinghua had glumly eaten his cereal at their breakfast table whilst Shen Yuan looked on with poorly veiled amusement.
Gongyi Xiao was hit the hardest, though, it may have something to do with the high notes in ‘Heart Attack’ he hit with surprising accuracy. Shen Yuan himself sat out, apart from one round of ‘You Don’t Know You're Beautiful’, and preferred to watch his friends make dumb decisions while getting very drunk.
“Was it hard?” He asked.
His student made a so-so gesture with his hand. Gongyi Xiao was the group’s thief, less focused on combat than Liu Mingyuan, or on technology like Shang Qinghua. While being one of the lesser-known members, he was still credited with many prolific heists, many of which were before he’d even met Shen Yuan.
The scroll in front of him was old. One of the few Pre-Ability Age texts that still existed. It detailed the old map of the city, or more specifically the old underground train system that was simply left for over a hundred years. Shen Yuan hummed as he slid the map into his desk drawer for storage, “Thank you.”
Gongyi Xiao nodded, “Is book club on?”
Shen Yuan turned back to his computer, raring to submerge himself into his catacombs case once more, “Yep. See you soon.”
He didn’t hear him leave over the familiar tune of despair and loss that all his files about his search seemed to sing.
.+*+.
“You want me to what?” Luo Binghe asked incredulously.
The table of heroes seemed as flabbergasted as he was, all gaping at Liu Qingge as if the man had just played a large, rather unfunny joke. Luo Binghe knew it wasn't a joke; Liu Qingge never jokes.
The Chief huffed, “Infiltrate Guzu University.”
“Why me?”
Lord coughed, “Well, Junshang. You are the one who looks most like a student’s age.”
Luo Binghe threw him an unfriendly glare as Sha Hualing spoke up, “I promise it’s not that bad. All the teachers are really nice! I’ve been Professor Shen’s teaching assistant for a year now, and I have no complaints.”
“Except for the fact that there’s a suspected Villain living amongst the student population.” Guardian chipped in, her voice sharp and poised.
“I really don’t think it should be me,” he protested.
“You’ll still have time to have your weird raging boner over Shizun, you’re just doing more homework,” Sha Hualing insisted, “If the work is too hard, Professor Shen would tutor you privately.”
Qingqiu rolled his eyes, or at least, Luo Binghe thought he did; he couldn’t see past the mask, “I’m not sure Beast could bear to suffer, though a year or so of academics. Perhaps it might melt his brain- I don’t think it would make much of a difference to his performance.”
An awkward silence fell upon the table. Qingyuan shot Qingqiu a reprimanding look. It was a touchy subject, one that most in the hero community knew not to touch with a ten-foot pole- why he left his former mentor for another Agency. The press speculated his want for success, but both Medic- who was sitting three spaces down- and Mobei-Jun - who was seated next to him- were witnesses to the result of Qingqiu’s goodbye sparring session that resulted in a broken leg and verbal assault as Luo Binghe lay on the floor, counting ceiling lights.
Lotus died that day, and from that rose Beast (a reclaiming of his former nickname), who had a short but drama-filled life including threesomes, scandalous workplace relationships and one or two defamation lawsuits. Mobei, his closest friend, had pulled him from the Huan Hua Agency to recruit him for D3M0N R34LM Agency. He’d sat in Luo Binghe’s new room as he raged for hours, before begging the stoic man for one more hit- just one more- but Mobei never faltered, not even when Luo Binghe began clawing at his arms, causing small rivulets of blue blood to trickle down his arms.
Luo Binghe shook himself, focusing back onto Qingqiu.
Oh, fuck you.
Now he had to prove that man wrong. He could totally go to university, ignoring the fact that he technically hadn’t been to secondary school, and even if he had to spend hours trapped in a stuffy room with an old as balls professor who probably had greying hair and a few too few teeth, it would be worth it, just to not see the look on Qingqiu’s face.
“Fine.” Luo Binghe snapped, rising from his seat and striding out of the room of ex-colleagues, “Who am I going undercover as?”
“Yourself.” Sha Hualing shrugged as she followed him into the corridor, Mobei and Liu Qingge close behind, “No point making up a fake identity when you already have your own pre-made one. It’s a deep cover, so you’ll need to have something you’re comfortable with, and since you don't have any infiltration training in infiltration, we’re gonna keep it as close to reality as possible.”
“You’re going in as my little brother, Liu Binghe.” The Chief said.
Behind him, Mobei’s small assistant made a noise that sounded like a dying hamster. Mobei turned slightly to check on the man, but Shang Qinghua avoided eye contact like a pro.
“People haven’t heard of you because you’re the youngest of the three.”
“Three.”
“He has a younger sister,” Sha Hualing informed him, “Don’t even think about it, horndog.”
.+*+.
Airplane
BRRROOOOOOOO
Cucumber
???
where are you
Airplane
junshanf meeting
hyre sendign him undercover
Cucumber
learn to spell better
also
what???!!!
where
Airplane
im typing behund my back gimme a break
AHAHAAHHAHAHA
ur never gonna gyess
Cucumber
…
no fucking way
Airplane
expect a call from ur TA soom lmfao
.+*+.
“Phone away,” Mobei rumbled at his assistant.
Shang Qinghua squeaked and shoved it in his pocket, “Sorry! Uhm- I have to go!”
Sha Hualing threw her hands up into the air, “Why?”
“Ah,” Shang Qinghua mumbled as he stood up from the table they all just sat down at, “My roommate is... uh, he’s trapped in the closet. Of spices! That we own.”
Luo Binghe raised an eyebrow. He’d never seen the man eat anything other than three-minute instant noodles.
“Really.” Sha Hualing said dryly, “And that's classified as an emergency?”
“He's allergic to cinnamon. Gets a rash and everything.” Shang Qinghua defended himself as he gathered his things, “Don’t miss me! Bye, my king!”
Mobei mournfully watched his personal assistant’s retreating back.
“That’s another point for the HR count.” Sha Hualing announced as she tallied it on her phone’s shared Notes app, “That made me puke in my mouth a bit.”
“I cannot control what Qinghua calls me,” Mobei said imperiously.
“And either way,” Luo Binghe interjected, “You’re the one that's losing.”
“I think you’ll find that I’m winning.”
“Not after last week's FanBase Weekly exposé,” Luo Binghe tried very hard to keep the smug tone out of his voice, “Qiu Haitang made some enlightening points on your post-mission cool down routine”
“Oh, so when you sleep your way through half the city-”
Liu Qingge looked like he wanted to be anywhere other than here, “So, about that cover.”
Count of HR Violations
Mobei-Jun: 28
Sha Hualing: 37
Luo Binghe: 32
.+*+.
Shen Yuan felt like a cliché. An overused, gaudy cliché.
He suppressed a sigh, and he counted his steps up the stairs, sixty-two, sixty-three, sixty-four, and gripped the folder in his hands tighter. Their book club room, which he refused to call a hideout (god forbid a lair), was located at the top of the old bell tower that stood on the outskirts of Gusu Universities campus, which was in itself on the outskirts of the city. The old bell, which, despite being completely rusty and tarnished, still hung precariously from the ceiling and acted as a pinboard for their evil planning.
It was old and rusty and didn’t fit the genre. They were supervillains, not gothic cultists. There was a crow’s nest in the corner. An actual, literal bundle of twigs hosting little screaming fledglings. Shen Yuan was a cliché- and not even a fitting one. This place didn’t even have WiFi!
Putting the folder down on the table, Shen Yuan collapsed into the stiff, wooden chair and began grading his students' work to pass the time. The problem with being a professor is that he had very little time to grade. The problem with being a professor and a villain was that he never had time to grade, which is why he took Sha Hualing as his TA, unfortunately realising too late her other job – snooping around and checking out other students' potential for a possible heroic - or villainous – career.
Saintess, a Hero from D3M0N R34LM Agency, was a Masked hero- one that kept their identity secret. On the other hand, an Overt hero had a public identity, less secure, but easier to gain popularity.
Typically, Overt heroes topped charts due to their invested fanbase- Mobei-Jun, for example, was the CEO of D3M0N R34LM and also Sovereign, a Top Twenty hero, whereas Saintess was in the Top Fifty. The higher in the charts you were, the more the government paid your agency, the more fans you had, the more brand deals and salary you got, and most importantly, the more media attention you received.
In fact, there were only two Top Ten heroes that were Masked- Qingqiu at Number 8 and Junshang at Number 2 – simply because of the effort one needed to go to maintain their popularity and relevance was more than a Overt hero.
Masked heroes, however, were often used as a last resort in intelligence operations involving villains, and as they could infiltrate civilian spaces without getting recognised, and were also better suited to the work than regular agents due to their enhanced abilities.
“Sir?” Gongyi Xiao’s voice questioned from behind Shen Yuan, snapping him back from his reverie, “What’s going on?”
Shen Yuan gently put his pen down, shuffling the sheets, now covered with red notes, back into a neat pile, “Ah- Gongyi. I think Shang Qinghua has some news for us.”
His hands stilled slightly as he considered; Gongyi Xiao had no affiliation to Gusu University- why would Shang Qinghua call him here?
Gongyi Xiao was honestly a bit of a mystery- he seemed to not exist on paper. It took Shang Qinghua over six months to simply prove that the thief existed, and another nine to make contact. In fact, Shen Yuan still didn’t know what the man did for a day job. Surely this couldn’t pay the bills. It certainly didn’t pay Shen Yuan’s, that why he still lived with Shang Qinghua.
“Okay.” Gongyi Xiao leant on the side of the bell, pulling out his phone and began tapping away. Shen Yuan picked up his pen again and began attacking his student’s pitiful attempts at discerning Lan-Qianbei’s theory on Enhanced Persons.
Lan-Qianbei, in her book, ‘The Complete Guide To Enhanced Persons’, emphasises the importance of anatomy to the enhanced individual. Enhancements, she states, ‘increase the abilities of an individual's particular organ or system, for example, the skin. One enhanced person, whose name will be redacted due to their wishes, has impenetrable skin, whilst another individual has an enhanced immune system, meaning she is completely immune to illness or disease’. Lan-Qianbei, writing before the scientific re-discovery of meridians, fails to account for the fact that whilst an individual’s organ can be enhanced, it is due to the awakening of meridians and the flow of qi, it’s activation is a phenomenon that is still unexplained.
Shen Yuan huffed, his student was not understanding to point of the task- they weren’t meant to debunk Lan-Qianbei’s theory, which had already been disproven a hundred times over since it had first come out thirty years ago, but instead understand her approach and – yes its flaws – but also the active attempts to engage in a subject that many had found impossible to tackle, forging a new path for theorists.
“Shifu!” Liu Mingyan panted out, “Qinghua-shiniang is coming up the steps behind me.”
“You do know that I’m not actually married to him?” Shang Qinghua called out from behind her, “Like, we’re BFF roommates who’ve lived together for like twenty years- Hey! Why am I always the wife? You never call A-Yuan Shiniang?”
Shen Yuan turned to look at him over the back of his chair, “I think we all know why you’re the wife.”
“Is this because I said I birthed Bao-er? Because that was a joke. She’s my daughter, and I would die for her, but she’s also definitely a hamster”
“Our daughter.”
Shang Qinghua made a huffing noise and ducked under Liu Mingyan, whose eyes were filled with fujoshi friend-fiction dreams, “She wasn’t your daughter last night when she-”
“When she pissed on me, yes.”
Gongyi Xiao pocketed his phone, “Uh, I’ve got a meeting in thirty minutes that I’ve got to be at, and it’s like twenty minutes away.”
“Right. Well, Junshang is coming to Gusu Academy, and after looking at the map you scanned and sent to me, I’ve definitely found an entrance to the Catacombs.” Shang Qinghua announced.
Shen Yuan could have almost sworn you could have heard a pin drop in that room, before a manic grin slid across his face, “Alright. Let’s get planning.”