Chapter Text
I. Posing a Question
You have discovered an unsolved mystery: there are no ancient humans before you, and no one to awaken consciousness since.
This is excellent, because niche topics mean innovation, which means the paper is more likely to be published.
The ferrofluid slowly rose from the bottom of the glass tank, and the tiny particles re-aggregated into its usual strip-like form. The prosthetic body's sensory receptors gradually returned, and after regaining his vision, he turned his head towards the staff member beside the bed.
The unfamiliar rehabilitation Centre staff member had taken over Mesmer Jr's work, and was now typing out a long string of terms on the report that even Ulrich had difficulty understanding. He tried to look closer to decipher the words, so much so that the he smacked against the wall of his tank.
The buzzing sound drew the attention of the employee who was engrossed in writing her report. She turned her gaze to the ferrofluid, who finally managed to peek through the gap she had made to finish reading.
“You mean, I have no problems, if I understand correctly,” Ulrich asked cautiously. “I am neither under any arcane skill nor suffering from any disease.”
“Yes, Ulrich,” the therapist affirmed. “Even your artificial somnambulism results show that you are very healthy, emotionally stable and optimistic—if you remember, your dream was getting the Laplace researchers to sit together and work efficiently without arguing or fighting.”
Ulrich briefly turned into a question mark: "Is that not everyone's dream?"
The therapist didn't respond.
“But, uh—Miss Wilson,” he hurriedly looked at the therapist’s name tag and found her name, “then how do you explain the abnormalities happening to me? They’ve already affected my daily routine. Or is it something we still can’t figure out…”
“You said you feel anxious but don’t know why,” she said, understanding but professional. “There are many interpretations of somnambulism results. If you are really troubled by your emotions, perhaps we can understand it as—you are uneasy that your colleagues cannot work as peacefully as you dreamed. Of course, this is just a hypothesis, but you don’t need to question your health too much. After all, no one trusts Laplace’s medical standards more than we do.”
Ulrich disagreed, "If that were the case, I would have developed anxiety symptoms thirty years ago. But I'm certain it's only been frequent in the last two months."
The therapist's smile became increasingly difficult to maintain, but her exceptional professionalism proved that this was not the first time she had encountered a patient as difficult and unwilling to face themselves as this. Of course, this was the norm in the rehabilitation centre. So she took a deep breath and then pressed the call button.
The broadcast in the treatment room announced in a dry, monotonous voice: "Patient No. 016, please enter treatment room No. 3."
Ulrich reluctantly stood up after being told to leave. Just then, outside, patient No. 016 abruptly opened the door at the end of the broadcast. Ulrich looked up and his gaze met that of the uninvited guest.
With a hiss, he transformed into a surging ball of spikes within his tank, and the person at the door asked in surprise, "Ulrich, you're here?"
The therapist paused.
Ulrich crossed his arms: "Adler?"
The substitute director of the Laplace Scientific Computation Centre walked in. His pale cheeks and lips, erratic heart rate, and unusual hormone levels all suggested to Ulrich that this human was suffering from migraines and a range of sub-optimal health symptoms. In this unexpected situation, Adler naturally didn't want to engage in awkward small talk, but he still frowned and asked, "What's wrong?"
Ulrich tried to calm himself, but he failed—or perhaps not so failed, as he had been doing so frequently lately. The spikes on the ferrofluid became even sharper.
“I, some, uh—emotional symptoms.” He didn’t understand why he felt guilty, but the examination room was definitely not a good place for a detailed discussion. “Adler, you’ve finally accepted the fact that your body needs to be cared for? That’s a huge step forward for your mindset.”
Adler blinked slowly, then absentmindedly waved his right hand, as if trying to sweep away all the questions he didn't want to answer.
“Emotions?” His voice rose slightly. “You have emotional problems? To the point where you need to come to the rehabilitation centre? So you’ve finally realized that your emotions are a bit too much for a fishbowl. Should I praise your progress—after all, it’s a fair exchange?”
“Adler!” the ferrofluid interrupted impatiently. “I know you understand that awakened also have their own rights. Don’t try to provoke me again, even if you want to."
The human's golden eyes stared at the fluctuating black inorganic matter for a moment before the former gave in and looked away.
Any Laplace staff member was used to these two colleagues getting completely absorbed in each other upon meeting. Therapist Wilson, resting her head on her hand, slowly urged from behind, "Mr. Hofmann?"
"Ah, I'm sorry," the human sighed softly, "I've taken up your time."
He draped his heavy coat over the chair by the door and brushed past Ulrich as he left. Ulrich sensed that the emotional issues that had driven him to seek medical help were intensifying with Adler Hofmann's arrival, and after Hofmann evaded his questions, they had become so intense they were about to burst out of his voice module. Anger, or anxiety—that's how he had defined himself before coming to the rehabilitation Centre. But he now realized his thinking was somewhat flawed, because he had long since stopped feeling such negative emotions towards Adler.
A clear thought emerges in his mind telling him that Adler is using such vile language again because he may be worried about himself.
Logically, this conclusion should have been alarming. But Ulrich instead felt it subtly, and he had to restrain himself from the thought, lest his thinking slip away.
He turned around and was surprised to find that the two people sitting behind him were both staring at him.
"Are you free tonight, Adler?" He felt a little awkward for a moment.
The human, in a terrible mental state, took a while to understand the words: "Have you noticed that you're wasting my consultation time?"
“If you’re willing to answer me directly, I’ll leave now,” Ulrich said. “I feel it’s necessary to have a proper discussion about your health. I thought your willingness to come here today meant that you’re finally no longer avoiding my and everyone’s advice.”
Adler stared at him with an aggrieved look, trying to quickly generate a reason for refusal with his brilliant mind. But ultimately, his health condition prevented his brain from functioning, and the man sighed, running his fingers through his messy curls.
"I'm busy today, let's talk about it the day after tomorrow," he said wearily.
Ulrich received the reply and left, satisfied. Just before closing the door, he recognized Adler's voice in the examination room, followed by the therapist's practiced tone: "Mr. Hofmann, you have no right to view Mr. Ulrich's examination report—yes, even if you are now the director, you still can't."
II. Formulating a Hypothesis
So the first step is to propose your hypothesis... yes, your research direction.
Although it's just conjecture, it still needs to be reasonable, at least enough to convince a third of Laplace's current staff.
Laplace's substitute director unlocked the office door at 8 p.m. As promised, not a second later. Ulrich was satisfied; although the door's password or not wouldn't have prevented his arrival, Adler's welcoming attitude pleased him.
Adler was still engrossed in his work, his head almost completely buried in piles of documents. Ulrich remained silent until the human let out a bored sigh at the documents, at which point he looked up and finally noticed a guest standing in front of him.
"Are you planning to be mute?" Adler's tone was tired, and his words seemed non-threatening. "Then you can be quiet for a while longer. I need to finish approving this whole stack today."
The tabletop clattered as Ulrich placed a cup in front of him, and the ferrofluid formed a circle: "Honey milk, helps to soothe the mind."
This inorganic thing must have fallen into smug pride in his thoughtful gesture. Adler scratched his head in frustration, trying to reach the half-finished cup of coffee around it, only to find it incredibly light when he grasped the handle.
He said unkindly, "I thought it was just an accident last time, but I didn't expect you to actually have a habit of stealing every cup of coffee you see."
Ulrich coiled a tube back into the prosthetic body's storage compartment: "Because you're also a forgetful human being. I hope you'll remember that you have a stomach ailment, and that it's a chronic one."
Adler put down the empty cup. The energizing effect of his fluctuating emotions far outweighed that of caffeine, and he now believed that even without that half-cup of coffee, he could manage to stay awake all night after negotiating with Ulrich and then battling with the documents.
"So, what do you want to discuss with me?" His hand dangled from his hairline, and Ulrich's gaze followed his fingers. He noticed that the braid tied to the side with a thin ribbon was about to break free, with many strands of hair already escaping from the loose ribbon.
The symptoms returned—anxiety, thirst, and irritability, accompanied by an inability to tolerate trivial things, a sudden increase in the urge to talk, and a continuous decline in language organization skills.
Adler twirled the paper in his fingers and stamped a "Rejected" mark on the corner of the document. He didn't hear a reply, so he looked up in confusion and asked, "Ulrich?"
“…Sorry.” The awakened before him spoke in a dazed tone. Adler inexplicably saw Ulrich forcefully tap his own head, causing the swaying oil-solution to make the already struggling ferrofluid within even more turbulent. “I shouldn’t have been distracted. Yes, I was planning to talk to you about your current health condition, and perhaps some other things…”
"Don't you realize you're talking nonsense?" Adler slammed his pen down on the table. "You'd better not give me any weird excuses, like 'caffeine poisoning' or anything like that."
He stared at Ulrich, but ultimately said nothing. He pulled out a stack of documents from a pile taller than his head: "Take a look, bottle brain. Maybe you'll stop with the invasion of privacy."
Ulrich took it: "Your medical report?"
Adler glanced at it, then picked up his pen again: "Who knows if I've had any changes, Ulrich."
This was good news, because he would only bother to mock Ulrich when he tried to conceal his good intentions. Ulrich was pleased; he belatedly found himself forming into a circle, yet the human who should have been encouraged by it failed to see this shape of approval. The curly bangs once again covered the German's gaunt cheeks, turning him back into a large, hunched mushroom, seemingly indicating his determination to let this meddlesome concern pass quickly.
Ulrich suddenly felt uneasy. He softened his tone and called out again, "Adler."
The only response was a muffledvoice. "I don't understand what you've come here for today," Adler said angrily. "If you've been rambling on all night just to mess with me, then..."
“Of course not.” Ulrich quickly made a big X. “I just thought you would at least be curious, after all, you asked Miss Wilson for my medical report.”
"I was rejected, if you don't remember."
“Yet you haven’t asked me yet.” The ferrofluid felt he had grasped the key point and began to sway slightly. “The rehabilitation centre rejected you, but I haven’t. So, this will be a good opportunity for you, Adler, to express your normal social emotions—”
"What?" The human frowned.
“—Concern.” Ulrich thoughtfully offered this suggestion.
Adler froze. He stared incredulously at the inanimate object that had uttered such startling words, his voice involuntarily lowering to a whisper, almost as if he were talking to himself: "My God. Ulrich, are you implying... that you care about me?"
The ferrofluid transformed into an arc, resembling the curve of a smile: "You don't need to shy away from your true feelings."
“I may have finally gone senile, all because of these documents,” Adler murmured absentmindedly. “I knew my brain would wither if I only squandered it on menial matters.”
Faced with the ferrofluid twisted into a question mark before him, Adler, unusually, had no desire to argue. He felt an unprecedented weariness. Ulrich's thoughts were inherently difficult for humans to fathom, especially when he was caught up in such self-absorbed positive expectations (which were essentially no different from delusion). Whether Adler refuted it at this moment would only affect his own mood.
"Okay, okay." Adler covered his face with his hands, feeling he'd given in far too many times lately. "What do you want me to ask you?"
Ulrich was pleased with his candor and intended to reciprocate with honesty—only on his way to Adler's office did he realize that if medical assistance couldn't solve his problem, seeking help from a real human might be a good idea. And Adler Hofmann was the most articulate of all the organic colleagues he could trust. Of course, only if one could ignore the occasional grumbling and negative comments he made along the way, but these were minor side effects that Ulrich didn't need to worry about.
“Adler, I originally wanted to tell you…” he carefully chose his words, “I’ve been feeling something strange lately—an emotion? But I’m not even sure if it can be called that. I’ve suspected I might be under some kind of arcane skill, or…”
The way the human suddenly looked up from the pile of papers made Ulrich realize the ambiguity in his words. Before Adler could stand up from his desk, Ulrich quickly added, "This is just one of my guesses, and the rehabilitation centre has already dismissed it."
Adler questioned, "But you yourself don't believe it."
The ferrofluid cascaded down to the bottom of the glass tank. "That's because that's the only analogy I can use," Ulrich retorted. "You've experienced it too, haven't you? The inexplicable passion you feel when activating an arcane ability—by the way, your current physical condition isn't suitable for drug trials. I suggest you ask Researcher Medicine Pocket to postpone the picrasma extract experiment."
"Don't try to change the subject." Adler ignored the latter part of Ulrich's sentence. "So, you've been sensing lately that you're frequently using arcanum."
The ferrofluid instantly turned into an X: "Please don't confuse the concepts. I just think I felt similar emotional impulses, and they were of unknown origin, unpredictable timing, and high intensity. While they were generally pleasant, they were mixed with irregular negative effects." He ignored Adler's muttered, "That's clearly your ambiguity."
Who can understand what the awakened is saying? The human pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance: "Give me an example."
Ulrich struggled for a while, the ferrofluid unconsciously changing shape in the glass tank, like a lump of black clay being kneaded. Until Adler's expression gradually became serious, Ulrich finally admitted honestly: "For example, I want to grab your hair right now."
As Ulrich had anticipated, the human's face contorted slightly. But the contortion vanished almost immediately, along with the earlier confusion and impatience. A strange and rare sense of relief appeared on Adler's face—he almost gently and forgivingly raised the corners of his mouth, gazing at Ulrich with an expression he had never shown to him before, or even to anyone else. Of course, the actual meaning of this expression was perhaps not so pleasant.
He asked rather calmly, "So you admit you're going crazy, Ulrich?" His tone of pity was just like when he used to grade the bizarre papers written by Laplace's interns.
The ferrofluid's shape froze, but what emerged before anger was the realization that Adler's novel expression had also evoked the same emotion within it, the feeling that made the ferrofluid slightly itchy and deformed once again overwhelmed it.
Thinking of this, Ulrich paused, then continued, "Actually, I also want to press your neck down now."
He was so engrossed in analyzing his own feelings that he failed to notice how human expressions could be visualized as a giant question mark. Adler's slightly mocking tolerance had slowly vanished in the silent gaps of contemplation. When Ulrich came to his senses, he only saw the man before him cautiously take a step back: "Ulrich, are you trying to protest against me in this way?" he said hesitantly. "Because I've pulled your head off several times, you're planning to retaliate in kind? I must remind you, this custom hasn't been encouraged for thousands of years; even this damn storm couldn't push us back to a primitive society!"
“What do you mean, Adler?” Ulrich asked curiously. “I certainly don’t like you playing with my head like a snowball, but you’ve also seen my attitude: if this helps you relax and get back to work, I’m not entirely intolerant of your occasional rudeness.”
Adler's expression turned to horror: "We have to get to the rehabilitation centre right away; you've been attacked by an arcanist."
“I haven't,” Ulrich said impatiently. “You asked me to describe my emotional state, and now you’re saying it’s the influence of arcanum? Don’t cause trouble for the rehabilitation centre.”
“Do you even know what you're saying? You’re expressing your desire to attack me personally!” Adler said incredulously.
The ferrofluid exploded in anger into an exclamation mark: "That's only part of the story! You can't generalize!" He crossed his arms agitatedly. "There are many other things too, like..."
He stared at Adler: "I want to braid your hair."
An eternal silence. The office was so deathly quiet that it seemed as if no living thing would speak for a year.
After a while, the human reached for the cup of honey milk that was starting to cool and drank it all in one gulp, as if facing certain death.
“Ulrich, I can give you a few more words to explain yourself,” he said weakly. “I hope you can control yourself, because I don’t want to call the security personnel here either.”
Ulrich slammed his hand on Adler's desk, causing the empty glass to topple over: "I thought our relationship had improved a long time ago!"
A cloyingly sweet aftertaste rose from the back of the tongue, making Adler dizzy. "That's not the point," he tried to explain, "the important thing is, what exactly made you suddenly start talking like this—"
His words caught in his throat as he watched in horror as Ulrich fell silent for a moment, like a machine malfunctioning, before his form shifted at an unprecedented speed between question marks, exclamation marks, vivid sea urchins, and checkmarks. Adler was almost certain it was the work of some unknown arcanist. But before he could reach the panic button, Ulrich surged forward, grasping his hand with the enthusiasm and earnestness of someone meeting an investor.
Adler was so startled that he forgot to pull his hand away. His whole body stiffened, and he only heard Ulrich's joyful voice: "I understand, Adler, it really is related to you! I just realized that my emotions only become strong when I'm with you. The root of my feelings is you!"
What happened next was no longer in Adler's memory. When he came to his senses, he realized he was standing by the office door, and just moments before, he had forcibly dragged the rambling cryptography team leader (it was difficult, as he was clearly no match for metal, but this perhaps also indicated that Ulrich didn't intend to hurt him) out of the room. Ulrich was ranting outside his door, seemingly condemning his madness, distrust, and impatience, but Adler no longer cared about the details or whether anyone else had heard. Not thinking about it made him feel better.
He walked back to his desk in a daze and barely caught the glass that was about to roll to the ground; thankfully, it didn't break.
Ⅲ.Compiling the Material
Perhaps you need to find a few more people to assist your argument.
Remember, it needs to be someone who can truly help you—be sure to cite primary sources and avoid incorporating outdated arguments from eighty years ago.
It would be best to find some useful information; you don't want to make things up.
Testimony of The Biology Department Leader
Ulrich, you're finally ready to be my test subject? A wise choice! ...No? Then why are you here so early in the morning? I don't have time to chat with you.
Emotional problems? Did you get shot in the head? No, you don't even have a brain. Turn left and go upstairs to the rehabilitation Centre, or maybe Enigma wants to hear your problems. He's waiting for you to help him de-stress. You're welcome.
...This is so annoying! I'll only give you one minute.
Aha, you said you have anxiety. You can have anxiety? You? Inorganic matter? Wow, what a strange thing! Don't rush off, Ulrich! You can talk a little longer; I also have full-body scanning equipment here. Leave some data for your colleagues; it's a good deed!
You have a friend. I know. You. "It" is anxious about a specific object; no need for a hint, I can tell it's a cryptic message. Okay, okay.
Never mind that. Is it really abnormal for you to have anxiety about Enigma? The most important thing is—yes, come here and lie down. Ten minutes, Ulrich, hey, don't go! I said ten minutes!
Testimony of The Engineering Department Leader
It's nice to see you, Mr. Ulrich. You don't come here often, so watch your step and don't go any further—oh, sorry to hit you. But this is a very important part of the mechanical structure I've built, so could you please pick up that ball and put it in the second slot from the left?
Would you like coffee? What can I do for you?
...Hmm, it doesn't sound entirely like anxiety symptoms. The urge to confide is often a positive thing in human groups; sometimes arguing can be seen as proactive communication, not avoidance. Don't worry, Ulrich, although my research isn't in psychotherapy, I do have some understanding of it. Your undiminished initiative isn't a typical symptom of anxiety or depression.
But you mean...you and Mr. Enigma? I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pry, I just felt that was the most likely possibility. ...Oh, I knew it.
I'm not surprised at all. Mr. Enigma is trustworthy, so it's not surprising to confide in him. Besides, oh, forgive my bluntness, your previous relationship seemed rather "intense," and perhaps your anxiety and desire to express yourself are compensation for him. Yes, most people, if they realize they've misunderstood someone, will be willing to treat them even better for a while afterward; many harmonious relationships develop this way. Perhaps this feeling symbolizes that it's time for people to enter a new phase—well, signifying a friendly beginning?
Mr. Ulrich, if you're seeking my advice, I think it would be best if you spoke with Mr. Enigma alone. Although he's not good at sweet talk, your mutual willingness to mend things is evident—did Mr. Enigma reject you? Hmm…
Well, then I'm afraid I can't offer any more help. However, Mr. Ulrich, you might consider putting things more tactfully, especially when talking to Mr. Enigma. In many situations, communication efficiency isn't what people prioritize when conversing. This is just my immature suggestion.
Well, goodbye, and best of luck to you and Mr. Enigma.
Testimony of a Scholar of Linear Analysis
Hi, Ulrich, I didn't expect to run into you in the hallway during work hours. Oh, you took the day off?
It's okay, I'm waiting for the elevator, there's no rush right now.
An awakened? I haven't encountered any precedents like that... because you're already the most emotionally expressive individual I know among awakened, but I haven't seen any similar signs in you either, haha. After all, based on my observations, most people like you have very narrow emotional needs and are quite adept at ignoring things that are unimportant to them.
The phenomenon you described might be considered a form of dependence on a specific person? Yes, people tend to show more care, tolerance, and indulgence towards those they depend on, and are more easily influenced by them, but sometimes they can also be overly critical. I know this doesn't sound good, but most humans are like this. If we disregard the person you mentioned being an awakened, let me think... maternal love? I'm not sure, but such anxiety and expectations do often arise when parents treat their children.
Wait a minute, Ulrich, are you talking about yourself? This…
However, wouldn't it be better to consult a professional about such issues? The rehabilitation centre also has a mental health department.
Oh, I must go upstairs now. Goodbye, Ulrich, I hope your research goes well.
Testimony of an Artificial Somnambulism Therapist
If the same problem as before persists, I still maintain: you are not under any arcane effects, your mental health assessment results are normal, and you should not fall into paranoia.
Sigh... Well then, let's hear what new conclusions you've reached.
This is not an anxiety symptom, so you don't need to consider it. Temporary anxiety and compulsion caused by minor factors are completely different from anxiety disorders.
...Do you only feel this way when you're in front of someone in charge?
I'm sorry, this isn't my area of expertise. Of course not. I'm a therapist, not a foundation coordinator, and not a host of any emotional counseling program. I cannot address your concerns and desires for Mr. Hofmann that go beyond a normal colleague relationship.
…“I said so too”? What did I say? Who said what? “Maternal love”? Good heavens… Although I don’t want to get involved in your emotional turmoil, Ulrich, I really didn’t expect you to believe such nonsense. You should at least listen to some worthwhile advice. I’m not saying my advice is worthwhile. Because I’m lucky I haven’t had the same experience as you, and I hope nothing like this will bother me in the future.
You should try looking for someone else. I just saw Vertin in that hallway over there; you can find a lot of people there.
Vertin's Testimony
Hello, Mr. Ulrich. Are you conducting a social census? The abnormal emotional issues of awakened? Sorry, I don't know much about that. But would you like to interview someone? Madame Lucy is in my suitcase; I can ask her if she's available today if you'd like.
Testimony of The Former Director of The Laplace Scientific Computation Centre (Madame Lucy!)
Good morning, Researcher Ulrich. No, you didn't disturb me. My only scheduled activity this morning is "rest," and most guides say that chatting with familiar people is a good way to do that.
I haven't had that kind of emotional experience either. Up to now, I've only felt passion and joy in the process of scientific research and humanistic progress. However, what you described is also a very precious experience, and I'm glad you can appreciate these aspects that I haven't experienced. If it doesn't lead to any substantial negative consequences, then focusing on enjoying it is a good approach, and based on your description, it certainly hasn't caused any adverse effects.
Is it Adler?
It seems your relationship has developed significantly. Perhaps you can accept Mesmer Jr's point of view; caring for colleagues is part of the human spirit. Although Adler is rather introverted, he never rejects good intentions. You could have another conversation to resolve your misunderstanding. I believe that after our last meeting, he will no longer refuse social interaction.
Please give my regards to Adler.
Testimony of members of the Storm Research Team
Hey Ulrich, good morning! What are you writing? Oh, are you recording what I say? I don't want to be called "Member of the Storm Research Team"! Change it now, I'm clearly the genius rock DJ and the greatest pirate captain!
Testimony of The Genius rock DJ & The Greatest Pirate Captain
That's much better! Come on, what do you want to ask me?
Wait, wait. Could you repeat that? What did Mesmer Jr say? (A long scratch appears because the interviewee's sunglasses fell off and knocked the pen askew.)
You've developed feelings for Enigma? I can't believe it, between the two of you... well, okay, not unfounded. So what feelings have you developed for him? ...Are you going to ask me that?
Hey, nothing is impossible. So what if you're ferrofluid? Who says ferrofluid or awakened can't experience love? Does your species have such an ancestral precept?
Uh, uh... no, I just said it offhand. I didn't say it had to be love. Of course, it could be love! Free spirits shouldn't be imprisoned. Even if you have some family traditions, so what? It's love! So many rock songs praise the freedom of love! Believe me, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're shy, you can just rush up and tell him everything!
Hey, do you need some background music, Ulrich? You can request it, consider it cheering you on for your confession! Oh, I forgot, it doesn't have to be about love. That's okay too! Hope to hear good news from you!
Oh, right, Ulrich, so you have a sexual orientation too?
Testimony of a Level 4 Investigator of the St. Pavlov Foundation
Good afternoon, Mr. Ulrich! Are you also here to see Mr. Adler? Yes, I'm here to submit some documents. Oh, you're here to see me?
I'm so sorry, but it might have to wait a little longer. It's only two minutes until my appointment with Mr. Adler... No, I don't mind at all!
...
How can I help you?
Love, romantic love—? Is that what you mean? You've fallen in love with Mr. Adler? Oh, that's an unproven topic… But, Mr. Ulrich, I haven't experienced love myself, so I can't judge whether your feelings are truly love. If I were to speak, I could only glean it from some literary works…
Typical characteristics of love? Let me think... Objectively speaking, for example, a rapid heartbeat, increased dopamine production... Ah, you don't have those structures, sorry! Or, feeling exceptionally happy when facing that person, finding everything they do adorable, wanting to speak but not knowing how, being overly concerned about their response and feeling anxious beforehand... Do you experience all of these? Oh, I see...
Ah, I was also thinking that love might be unique, or rather, exclusive? Actually, I don't really understand it myself, but everyone thinks so. It's difficult for a human to like two people at the same time. No, that's not entirely accurate, but it seems to be a matter of ethics and morality… Am I going too far? You certainly only feel this way about Mr. Adler.
Mr. Ulrich, have I been of any help? I feel like I've only said some very cliché things... Really? Thank you.
I understand! Love is supposed to be a selfish thing. No matter how good something is objectively, or how much it's in the past, love will make you unreasonably feel sorry for the other person's ordeal. What does "feel sorry" mean? It probably means wishing the other person had never gone through those things. Perhaps what I'm trying to say is... in this era, we all understand this especially well.
Are you planning to confess your feelings to Mr. Adler?
Confessing your feelings... confessing your feelings means telling the other person how you feel, that you like or love them. Yes, that's it. If the other person is also willing to accept your feelings, you can try to take the relationship a step further. No, not marriage! It shouldn't be that fast, right? Maybe like lovers?
Is that enough? Okay, I hope you and Mr. Adler are happy. Could you let me know if there are any results? Or, perhaps it's presumptuous of me… thank you!