Chapter Text
Spider-Man was busy drawing new suit designs. He couldn't keep going around in glorified pajamas and goggles after all. Realistically though, what was he supposed to do though. Even a wetsuit would still not be form fitting, and it's not like he was an expert tailor, sewing was new to h-him.
He did like sewing though, it was fun but holy shit were sewing machines supposed to be that finicky? He made another line on the sketch , he really wasn't sur-
“Peter, Peter” He winced, and quickly looked up. Right, class. No Spider-Man right now, just boring Peter Parker in boring history class. “Are you sleeping in class or do you want to actually answer the question?” Peter looked at the board, and strained his eyes looking for some sign of what he was supposed to answer. Unable to decipher the question all he could do was offer up words of apology. “I- I uh wasn't paying attention,” then he added quickly, “I'm sorry sir” Mr. Morrigan, the history teacher, just shook his head and moved to the next student.
“Flash care to pick up for Mr. Parker?” Flash clearly looked elated at the offer, turning to Peter to whisper under his breath, “Watch this you hippie nerd.” Flash cleared his throat and responded. “Yes, the portcullis was the primary defensive structure of castles due to the ability to trap intruders within its gates. It would also have arrow slits, trap doors, and spots above to dump boiling oil from.”
Flash looked proud of himself. Peter wondered if he knew that not everyone with long hair was a hippie. Besides, his hair was only around shoulder length at this point even if he wanted it longer. That aside, Flash’s answer had been slightly off. Peter had known the answer, of course sh-he had, he just hadn't known the question. “So close” Mr. Morrigan boomed. Flash’s triumphant smile faltered. “The portcullis is the name of the gates that block the entrance, the correct term you were looking for was a gatehouse. Otherwise, the defensive aspects of the gatehouse you mentioned are all correct.1; The clock ticked as class dragged on.
The rest of class had been no more interesting but at least Peter had gotten some good jokes in with Ned and MJ when he had run into them. Really they all wished they had more classes together but it’s not like the world always allows you to be with your friends. Especially when you usually make a little too much conversation in class and get separated anyway.
The walk back home was slow and monotonous as usual but he had lots on his mind. He was thinking of changing up the suit. He wanted more flair, he didn't like how Spider-Man was received. Webs under the arm like a flying squirrel was the latest idea kicking around in his brain. That would help increase jump length and be stylish, he thought. The idea of a hood really stood out too but he couldn't figure a good way to do that without adding a lot of drag to the suit. Well it did look good in the sketches at least. He liked how it mimicked his shoulder length hair, alluding to a more feminine and mysterious persona.
More feminine… Ahh if only he could. He hadn't told anyone he was Spider-Man, he hadn't told anyone that maybe he didn't want to be a man. But he could keep two big secrets, it was no big deal. Besides what would he do anyway the public had dubbed him Spider-Man, well not the public per say, more like the bugle had declared her Spider-Man. The city needed Spider-Man, the world needed Spider-Man. And May? May had been through so much already, May didn't need the stress of being Spider-Man’s family, May didn't need to worry about having a trans niece either. He had been doing his best these days to suppress those thoughts when he could.
He kept walking back, just about to pass Delmar’s deli when he heard a scream. Someone was in trouble. She -uh he put the identity and costume thoughts aside for a minute. Dashing into an alley he did the only thing he knew to do and dawned the spider suit. Up and away he swung trying to rely on the tingling of his spider sense to locate trouble. A little stronger on the left side. There it was, someone was getting mugged. Fwsh. Thump. Spider-Man landed behind the thug. The man in front of him hadn't noticed yet but the young kid being mugged had. “Spider-Man!!” they said with a gasp on their face. The mugger turned around, fist already winding up to throw a punch. Before he could get a punch off though, Spider-Man attached a web to him and all the thug could do was watch as he let himself get pulled away and attached to the wall.
“Fuck you Spider !” The immobilized thug shouted. Spider-Man just flipped him off in response and handed the kid back their purse. No one had heard the voice of Spider-Man yet and whether it was for his privacy or her sanity they intended to keep it that way.
The costume was already on so Spider-Man figured he might as well patrol some more. Up and away he went swinging through town. Down through the streets he swung, it was a relatively peaceful day. He landed in a tree to figure out where to go next. “Meow” It was a quiet noise next to him, an easy thing to hear with his enhanced hearing. He sighed, a stuck cat? Well if he wouldn't help the little guy who would? Taking the cat in one arm, and meeting some weak resistance from the cat as it squirmed around he tried to calm it. “Hey, it'll be okay little guy” He whispered as quietly as he could. Jumping down from the tree the cat yelped and then happily scampered away once set down.
Home. He snuck in through the fire escape in the deserted alley again. Now changing back he was just Parker again… Peter Parker. How he hated that. How she hated that.
Ding. A text came through.
May: hey Petey I'm running late at the hospital tonight, I should be home in about two hours
May: there's frozen pizza in the fridge, feel welcome to that. Or you can take some potstickers.
She sighed, but it would be a comfort to have the space to herself. Maybe dress up a bit, but she worried about May, there had been nothing but long days lately for her.
Peter: thanks, don't push yourself too hard
May: I'll be okay, see you tonight Petey
Just then a message from someone else came in.
Fed: hey do you want to hang out
Fed: MJ and I are building a lotr set tonight
Fed: she insists lotr is better than starwars :/
Major Jerk: Ned it is. Lotr doesn't have lousy sequels at least
Parker laughed a little
Feeter Forker: that does sound fun
Then she sighed, she wanted to wear what she wanted tonight. She wanted to be who she was. She loved Ned and MJ but she couldn’t take more of being Peter right now.
Feeter Forker: actually sorry guys I'm not really feeling like leaving the house tonight
Feeter Forker: May is working late again. I want to hold down the fort
Fed: again Peter?
Fed: the house will be fine just come hang
This was exhausting. This was pointless. She flipped the phone over on the bed. She did want to hang out but she wanted to be herself. Opening the closet she instantly knew she was making the better decision. Ding. She elected to ignore the phone. She had made her decision. She slipped comfortably into a long green skirt and a brown checkered button up, stuffing a bra to go under it. Yes she thought, this comfort was exactly what she needed after a long boring patrol and stifling. Pressing the power button with a satisfying click she booted up her small tv and her Xbox, a gift from Ben back when he was alive and they weren't struggling for money.
Parker missed Ben a lot, she wondered what he would have thought about having a niece. Maybe she would have felt like he could tell him. But instead Ben was dead, and it was her fault. May hadn't been able to keep the house anymore and it was her fault. May was overworking herself with long hours and it was her fault. It was all her fault. All the misfortune, all the pain, spiraling from her irresponsibility she had at the time. No, no these thoughts weren’t good, she had to get them out of her head.
She booted up the new Iron Man game. Being someone who had worked with Stark when in costume she found it funny to play his game out of costume. But she hadn't played much lately and Ned wanted her to keep up with his progress so they could compare notes. Ned didn't need to know that she had selected the option to play as Rescue2 instead of Iron Man. The game was alright, she was about 6 hours into it. Ned was about 11 hours into the game so she had a lot of catching up to do. Was hero stuff really made out to be this interesting to the average person? Most of the time for her it was just patrolling and seeing if anyone needed help with small things. Lost bikes, stopping muggings, lifting heavy things and so on. Okay, she thought, let’s do this. Just then though she got another ding from her phone. I guess I should check the messages she thought to herself. Then Ah shit I really should have checked my messages.
Fed: we are coming over
Fed: you dont get a choice I have a key
Major Jerk: you don't have to build with us but we're bringing the set to do too.
Major Jerk: look alive we're here
Ahhhh shit. The door opened, she was frozen. Footsteps towards her bedroom. All she could do was stare in horror as Ned and MJ opened her bedroom door. “Hey” she offered meekly with a little wave, painfully aware of her outfit and bad eyeliner. Holy crap she wanted to disappear right now. She looked away, she didn’t want to see her friends' faces. Shock, disappointment, something else? She didn’t want to know.
The palpable awkward silence was broken first by MJ “so, Lego set? I finally got my hands on the single weathertop set they made back in 2012 or something3 Oh so she wasn't going to address it. And it was so like MJ to add the or something, Parker knew full well she knew exactly when the set was from. Their whole friend group couldn’t hide their nerdiness if they tried. “Also…. You’re looking good tiger.” MJ did a little growl for comedic effect.
Okay so she did address it. Gulp “Yeah I'm uh.” Parker paused, taking a moment to sigh she didn't know what she was doing. This isn’t how she wanted this to go. “I'm trying something new?” She suggested sheepishly with a shrug.
“So uhhh you gonna scoot over and let us sit?” Ned finally spoke up.
“Hmmmm, that depends. Are you going to manspread over the whole couch again?” She shot back. Ned sighed
“You know man spreading isn't proper lego building form, so not today.” His smile was infectious. Parker giggled to herself a little then scooted over.
“I like the floor.” MJ offered flatly, sitting in front of the two. They opened the Lego set and got to work. Parker really couldn't believe it. Here she was in a moment that she had been terrified of sitting with her friends, doing their normal shtick. She was still really terrified to be honest, but here she was dressed like a woman. And they treat me the same, she smiled, they treat me the same.
“This spiral staircase is sooo cool” Ned gushed, holding up the pieces that stacked up to make the staircase.
“Told you Lord of The Rings is Better.” MJ sassed. “Peter, you agree, right?” Parker winced. “Oh.” MJ looked her way apologetically “Oh my gosh I'm sorry should I call you something different or…” clearly the wince had been noticeable.
Parker cut her off “I- I don't know, I haven't decided. Just call me Parker or something. You can still call me Peter in front of May though.” Parker was sure she looked like she wanted to cry. Okay maybe she actually was starting to cry.
MJ put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it'll be okay Parker,” MJ smiled at her.
Ned offered a sympathetic smile “We can always help you find some names too.” Ned was a goofball. But a sweetie. “Like what about Petra? Or maybe Penelope?” He paused. “Oooh what about pattie?”
Parker sighed “I really appreciate it, really Ned, but those are way too similar to Peter." Her head hurt a bit with everything going on. “I'll figure it out eventually.” For everything that had happened, overall it was a good day.
3 weeks later:
“What about Thelma?”
She scoffed “Ned these are getting worse and worse!”
“I don't know, I think Thelma has some charm,” MJ piped up from across the table, not looking up from her book. Common Medical Conditions, the text sprawled across the front cover read, 5th edition. Gosh MJ was so cool, always studying and learning, no wonder she was like an encyclopedia.
“Are you kidding me? You just want me to pick a bad name.” Parker was rolling her eyes and smiling though.
“Yes, so I can laugh at you.”
“Ah MJ you are truly a saint as usual.” Her smile was so big it hurt. She was so glad she had friends like this. She was less glad however a second later when her spider sense tingled. She moved to the side as a piece of carrot flew by her head.
“Nice dodge pinhead Parker” Flash. Of course it was Flash. A middle finger over the shoulder sufficed for now. She was so damn sick of him.
“I think he has the hots for you.” MJ whispered. “What since he's always starin and everything.” Parker shook her head at the comment. Flash was disgusting, but she knew he just enjoyed getting a reaction out of people.
The evening patrol had gone okay, and May was getting home late again. So as had become a routine for her now she slipped into femme clothes and did her makeup. She had felt bad earlier about how she looked today, but at least the makeup helped. Today was awesome! The web wings totally worked. Yeah, those would definitely be a permanent part of her costume from now on. And she had been experimenting with a hood with circle holes cut to reduce drag. It was Ned's suggestion really, not that she had come out as Spider-Man to him. She just managed to phrase things in a vague enough way to ask about scoop shapes that would have less drag. “Like a soup spoon!” He had said.
“No, like a noodle spoon, soup spoons keep the broth in” MJ had tacked on playfully. Yes, today was a good day.
Ding
Unknown number: Is this Peter Parker?
Parker: Who's asking?
Unknown number: Hi Peter this is Thelma from Stark Industries. We wanted to get back to you about the internship application you submitted. Mr. Stark was interested in meeting you personally to go over possibilities with you.
Parker: that sounds awesome! When would the meeting be?
Unknown number: the meeting would be next Friday at the local Stark Industries branch office in Manhattan. 5 PM. Would that be okay?
Parker: I will be there
She was so excited!!! But also she just had to tell Ned that she met someone actually named Thelma.
Forker: I just got a text from someone named Thelma. I think you may be influencing the universe
Fed: hah! See it is a normal name
Fed: take that!
Forker: also… it's not technically speaking legal but I was thinking about synthesizing my own hormones to start transitioning to a woman.
Parker waited with baited breath. She knew Ned would be supportive, she also knew normal HRT probably wouldn't work on a weird enhanced spider person.
Fed: omg!!! Congrats on solidifying the identity??
Fed: does this mean you officially want us to use feminine pronouns for you?
Major Jerk: this is awesome but parks why can't you just tell May
Major Jerk: synthesizing your own HRT doesn't sound safe to me
Major Jerk: and believe me I have my head stuck in medical textbooks all day.
MJ was right, normally it would be silly and dangerous and outrageous but she'd be safe right? Besides, she was NOT ready to come out to May.
Forker: ahhh I really liked being called Parks
Forker: also I will do lots of testing before I put anything in myself don't worry
Forker: also Ned, you're right please use she/her for me
Fed: gotcha!
Fed: MJ is right tho parks, are you sure May wouldn't be accepting and you could just get normal HRT?
Parker sighed. She couldn't tell them the real reason but also no, May would not be accepting, somehow she knew it.
Forker: I just know May
Forker: I know she wouldn't want a niece
Forker: topic change but I have an interview for a stark industries internship next friday
Fed: OMG!!
Major Jerk: congrats parks, you've earned it
Parker turned off her phone.
Parker was right. May hadn’t been accepting. It was Thursday night. May had gotten home early and found Parker all femmed up. Parker had left that night sobbing and with only a backpack. She had no phone, just 2 pairs of clothes and her Spider-Man suit, or rather, her Spider-Woman suit as she was calling it now. She had added that hood and was feeling more comfortable about the suit every day. But now wasn't the time for that.
Her thoughts wandered back to May. Why, why couldn't she understand. May had said she would rather have a dead nephew than a niece. May had mentioned sending her away to a camp where “they could help fix all this.” Parker broke. She didn't want this anymore. She ran aimlessly stumbling through the streets. She was still crying 2 hours later when she finally fell asleep at a subway station.
P.S.
for those wondering these are the suit designs she goes through in this chapter.
