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Ava Starr often has trouble feeling grounded, how could she not when she's spent so much of her life hardly being tangible? Let alone a solid enough to be grounded.
The memories of phasing through everything against her will is always fresh in her mind. In the way she always hesitates for a split second before grabbing something, for the fear that she'll go right through it like she used to.
She knows she’s stable now, that she wont phase out of existence or that her molecular structure wont fall apart. She knows her atoms aren't going to shatter against her will, but its hard to trust a body that's betrayed her so many times before.
How can she trust herself when at any moment it can all be taken away from her again? That she wont be put right back where she started?
Ava still hesitates to part from her suit, her gilded cage that promises stability. Her vice.
Though, when she does take the suit off, she’s found ways around the fear. Unconventional maybe, but effective ways to remind her she's whole.
Yelena Belova likes to listen to people's hearts beating. When she hugs someone she always turns her head to the side and presses her ear to their chest, trying to get as close as possible to the heart as physically possible. Its reassuring to her, she’s so used to watching people die, seeing pulses fade because of her doing, that hearing the steady thump of a heart calms her nerves.
Feeling the solid presence of someone else, calm in her arms instead of panicked or fearing for their life, chases away any lingering ghosts haunting Yelena’s mind.
More often than not, in one of their rooms or the common room, Ava will be sprawled out with Yelena plastered on top of her, ear to her chest, both of them looking quietly satisfied.
They even do it while standing, Yelena's smaller body tucks so easily into Ava's arms, Yelena's head becoming the perfect lazy rest for her chin.
Its a great way to pass the time during boring debriefs.
The warmth and weight of Yelena grounds Ava when she feels like she may shake apart, and the sound of Ava's heart beating away gentle and steady calms Yelena when she can only think of the pain and death she has caused, its nice to be reminded she can bring comfort too.
Yelena makes it so easy for Ava to give in to her need for affection that she tries to ignore most days. Ava makes it easier, day by day, for Yelena to remember she’s not a mindless killer anymore.
Ava could spend all day in Yelena’s warmth, and Yelena could spend all day listening to Ava’s heart. Luckily for Ava, on days where she feels like she's falling apart again, bit by bit, phasing flaring up like a sickness she can never truly be rid of, Yelena will let her.
Happily too, because to Yelena? The sound of Ava's unique heart beat has become her favorite song to listen to.
A ghost with a heart to chase away the memories, and a spider with a web of safety.