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ᢉ𐭩 .ᐟ
Ryan stares at the inside of the car boot. It's packed to the brim with bags of groceries, it's a sight he's started to grow used to.
When he first packed his bags to jump town, before Naim appeared beside him at the bus stop, Ryan had expected a life on the streets. At least until he turned eighteen. He was prepared to fight off people who would mess with him.
When Naim showed up, with nothing but his phone and the clothes on his back, Ryan knew he couldn't let Naim have that life. He was prepared to do whatever he needed to keep a roof—even just one of a motel room—over Naim's head, no matter what it took.
He wasn't prepared for Naim to tell him about his grandparents on his dads side that live in Melbourne. He didn't expect when Naim called them, that they would pick up on the second ring and welcome both Naim and Ryan with open arms into their home.
He really didn't expect for them to know instantly that Ryan and Naim weren't just friends. Most of all he didn't expect that they wouldn't care.
"You boys are back already!" Naim's Nan—Gareth—Waves to Ryan and Naim as they enter the front door carrying the bags from the car.
"Well hello eye candy" Doris barks a laugh, her voice raspy from decades of smoking. She was one of their neighbours, really lovely lady, but she really enjoyed to playfully flirt with Ryan.
"Hi Gareth, Doris" Ryan laughs, placing the bags on the bench, and turning to take the rest from Naim's hands.
"Hey boys" Doris waves, doing an overly dramatic at wink towards Ryan.
"Doris, I regret to tell you, he is still my boyfriend" Naim sighs while he grins, bumping his hip into Ryan as he goes around him to walk into the lounge and sit beside his Nan.
Gareth raises her arm to push Naim's hair off his face, her hand caressing down before squeezing lightly at his cheek. Naim lightly smacks her arm while scrunching up his face.
Ryan watches the whole encounter from the kitchen, lingering behind to put the meat into the fridge. It was odd at first, living here. Naim's grandparents were kind, warm, light and funny. Watching Naim settle back into a routine with them felt like watching a real family. Ryan didn't know his place in it.
"Let me know when that changes" Doris laughs again, echoing through the house.
Eventually Ryan did find his place. Naim's Popa—Kevin— He often got Ryan to work on things around the house with him. He always sparked up small conversation, until Ryan started to open up more around him.
Gareth would catch Ryan getting a glass of water at night, and she'd pull him into a talk that would last until early hours of the morning. These moments continued until Ryan just felt it click, six months into living here. It had just been over two years now.
"Oh shut it Doris, you don't need a fourth husband" Gareth rolls her eyes dramatically, looping her arm around Naim and pulling him to rest at her side.
"Well i need someone after the last one died" Doris always had a dark sense of humour around her late husbands death.
Naim and Ryan once spoke about what the possibility would be of her being the cause of it.
"I hate to say it, but i don't plan on leaving Naim any time soon" Ryan finally joins them in the lounge.
He sits down for a fraction of a second, and Levi—Naim's grandparents grumpy, old cat— jumps up to curl in his lap. Naim giggles under his breath, looking at Ryan through the corner of his eye.
"Men, animals always love em" Gareth sighs, hand moving to pat Naim's hair.
"Basil likes you" Naim offers.
Basil was a husky pup that Naim found when he was scrolling online. He had shoved the phone in Ryan's face with a deep frown, crying about how this poor puppy was abandoned and all alone.
That night Ryan found the post, and snuck into Gareth and Kevin's room to ask them their permission to get a dog.
They hadn't even given Ryan an answer, told him they'd have to think about it. The next day they suddenly went out for a drive and came back home with Basil.
"Basil isn't my cat that ive raised for over a decade, but thank you sweetie" Gareth messes Naim's hair up before sliding her arm away and letting him sit up properly.
Levi purrs louder in Ryan's lap, like he could perfectly understand what was being said and wanted to make a point. It causes Naim to properly laugh, twisting around to pat Levi. Ryan can't take his eyes away from Naim's face.
He can hear Doris and Gareth continue to talk, Naim chiming in occasionally, but its all white noise to him. Naim has this small toothy smile as he scratches under Levi's chin, dimples forming on his cheeks. His eyes are droopy, like when they get high, and his cheeks have a light flush to them from when he laughs.
It was so different to the Naim of two years ago. He was so drained, his smile was always forced and never fully there. He refused to eat when they first arrived, his spine becoming more prominent through his skin. That felt so far away from the boy that was in front of Ryan right now.
Ryan doesn't even notice when Doris stands up announcing her exit. He only notices when Naim gets up too.
"I'll walk you home, need to take Basil on a walk anyway" Naim rounds the couch, Basil rushing into the room when he hears the magic words.
Ryan turns his head to watch Naim grab the leash off of the table by the door, and as slides his shoes on. They had found out around when they first moved, that animals counted to keeping the entity away.
Not entirely, not the same way another person does. It will still show up, spawn in whatever area or room they're in. But it wont interact. It's as if it can't. Finding that out has made life be able to feel at least somewhat normal again.
"How long do you think you'll be out?" Ryan asks while Naim attaches the leash to Basil's collar.
"Maybe half an hour?" Naim shrugs, opening the door to let Doris through.
Despite the fact they had the animals to help them now, and the two extra people in the house, they find it hard to separate. Finding jobs was horrible. Eventually they found places right beside each other that were willing to hire them. They lucked out on only having to work part time, Naim's grandparents refusing to take money from them for board.
"Be safe" Ryan almost whispers, and Naim smiles softly at him.
"I will" Naim quickly walks forward, leaning down to place a peck on Ryan's lips, before heading outside and closing the door behind him.
Silence follows the click of the door. A feeling settles in Ryan's bones. Gareth grabs the T.V remote, flicking it on to some random channel as she gets a hold of her crossword book.
"Where's Kevin?" Ryan suddenly asks, the feeling sinking deeper and deeper, causing pressure.
"In our room, whys that love?" Gareth doesn't look up, just raises a brow.
"I was hoping i could talk to the both of you" Ryan barely gets the words out before she's yelling out his name.
Kevin comes strolling in from the hallway, eyes flicking between Gareth and Ryan. "What is it?"
"Ryan wants to talk to us" Gareth closes her book, placing it down on her lap.
"Right then" Kevin sits down on the seat Doris was on before, grunting as his knees bend for him to sit.
Ryan blinks rapidly, still after all this time growing used to their dynamic. "Well—" A lump forms in his throat. "I wanted to ask you guys something, more than talk, i guess"
"What is it boy?" Kevin leans forward, eyebrows raised.
How Kevin carried himself scared Ryan at first. He was naturally loud, and straight to the point. It reminded him to a point of his own father. But Kevin was soft despite his rugged exterior.
"It's— Well, its i guess about Naim" Ryan fiddles with the hem of his shirt.
"Let me guess, you're gonna propose" Kevin laughs, Gareth joining him.
They both laugh for a long moment, and Ryan tries to laugh along. But his mouth has gone dry, and he can't find his words.
Gareth quiets down, looking at Ryan. Her face morphs as a look of realisation washes over. "Is it that? are you planning on proposing to our Naim?"
"Well— i hadn't really planned yet, i was still wanting your permission" Ryan quickly explains, eyes flicking between them.
"You don't need our permission, how outdated" Gareth waves her hand, picking up her crossword again.
"Besides, you really think we'd say no?" Kevin's eyes shrink as he grins.
Gareth sighs lightly, reaching to pat Ryan on the leg. "I've been dreaming of this day, better you two get married while we're still sound enough to enjoy the wedding"
"So, your really fine with it?" Ryan swallows, feeling shaky despite the positive reaction.
"More than fine Ryan" Kevin pushes himself up, already walking back to his room.
"I couldn't think of anyone better for our Naim" Gareth rubs Ryan's leg, patting it twice before returning to her crosswords.
Ryan sits there stunned. He had expected something good, of course he did he wouldn't have asked otherwise. But he's always surprised time and time again, by just how different everyone here was compared to Bandee.
He can hold hands with Naim walking through their neighbourhood. In the city it's a little scarier, theres still the odd guy hanging out of his car to shout a slur their way. The odd old man who passes them and looks Naim up and down as he happily chatters to Ryan. There was still the fear, that lingered, that appeared randomly when Ryan starts to forget about it.
But he's able to start forgetting. He has that now. Theres long enough moments where he and Naim can just be. He can kiss Naim in front of his grandparents and not risk another exorcism of sorts. It's normal.
Ryan never knew that normal could feel so good.
ᢉ𐭩 .ᐟ
It's been a week since Ryan initially asked for Naim's grandparents blessing.
He's had to deal with knowing looks from them every time Naim leaves the room for one second. He knows they're waiting for him to tell them that hes doing it tonight! Or tomorrow! Or right now!
But he's just so lost on how he should go about it.
Currently he and Naim were walking hand in hand through the busy mall. It was a Saturday, so everyone was out and about. It was a good distraction from Ryan's too busy mind.
"Wait—" Naim stops walking, pulling Ryan back by his hand. "Can i go in there?"
Ryan looks to see an art store, it's one they've passed countless times while out here. It's high end products, things Naim couldn't even imagine seeing when he was younger.
"You don't needa ask" Ryan reaches up with his free hand to pat down the parts of Naim's hair that are sticking up and to the sides.
Naim swings their arms, looking down at their conjoined hands. "I know, but you wont wanna come in"
"Mm, not really.. But i can" Ryan tips his head forward, to be closer in height with Naim, looking him in his eyes.
"Nah, the stores packed and theres like hundreds of people around, we should be fine" Naim speaks quietly, looking around at the crowd of people.
Ryan looks around also. It is really busy today, not a single store has less than one customer inside. "You got your lighter?"
"Never leave the house without it" Naim pats his pants pocket.
"Alright, well I'll go find something to look at while you're in there" Ryan groans playfully, earning him a smack on the shoulder.
Naim gives him a little wave as he walks into the store, Ryan sticks around long enough to see his face brighten at everything he sees.
Ryan sighs, looking around the busy mall once he decides that he's been standing there staring for long enough that it's starting to look creepy. Initially nothing catches his eye.
Women's clothing store, another women's clothing store, shoe store, tech store, jewellery store— Jewellery store.
Ryan hesitantly approaches the shop, eyes flicking back to the art store Naim's currently in, before swallowing and walking in.
So much for a distraction.
"Are you happy just browsing?" A lady in all black smiles at Ryan from behind the glass case. She's wearing the same lipstick his mum used to wear on special occasions.
"Huh?" Ryan looks around, ultimately finding no one behind him.
"Do you need my help, or are you just happy looking around on your own?" The lady smiles wider.
Every time he and Naim passed fancy stores, he would see the workers eye them. Security always followed when they entered the more hidden parts of stores. They didn't exactly look the type that you could trust, or that would have enough money to waste your service on. "Oh, uh— I dunno"
"Is there something in particular you're looking for?" She tips her head to the side, walking around behind the glass cases to be closer to Ryan as she asks.
"Well.." Ryan looks down at the case beside him, the light reflecting off of the many pieces of jewellery, blinding him. "An engagement ring?"
"Oh! How exciting!" Her hands clap together, then her nose scrunches. "Don't mind me, but aren't you a bit young to be getting engaged?"
"Hah, maybe" Ryan mutters under his breath.
Yes, he and and Naim were only twenty, and in normal circumstances this would be absurd. But it isn't normal circumstances. If anything its about time Ryan finally pops the question.
"Well regardless, I am more than happy to help— gold or silver?" She taps her hands against the glass, raising her brows expectantly
Ryan's head snaps up to look at her. "What?"
"The ring, do you want it to be gold or silver? We also have white gold, and rose gold if you'd rather" She lists off the options, sounding exactly like someone who goes through them every day, multiple times a day.
"What the fuck is white gold?" Ryan blurts out, and the lady laughs, real and hearty.
She laughs for a good thirty seconds, wiping her eyes as tears form in the corners."Okay, we will keep it simple. Your partner, do they wear any jewellery?" She says while catching her breath, eyes scrunched with amusement.
"Yeah, a few rings" Ryan says quietly.
"Are they gold or silver?"
"Both? Wears both"
Ryan shoves his hands in his pockets, feeling incredibly antsy in a store like this. He keeps looking back to the front, hoping Naim wont suddenly appear and overhear. He has to think of some excuse of why he's in here in the first place.
"Well, then you have more options. Girlfriend?" The lady snaps him back to reality.
"What?" Ryan blinks quickly, not having heard her properly.
"Girlfriend or- or boyfriend? You're soon to be fiancé" She asks again, smile faltering for a second as she stumbles over her words.
Ryan's stomach drops, and twists around itself. For just a moment, the ladies face morphs into his mothers, and he feels seventeen again. He's not ashamed of being with Naim. He could never be ashamed of Naim. With that he's grown to feel less ashamed of himself.
But it's still scary. He may know and understand that there's nothing wrong with who he is. But not everyone else is on that same page. "Why does that matter?"
"Our ring selection, we have a men's and a women's selection for engagement rings, i can bring you out both if you want?" She answers quickly, eyes widening at Ryan's reaction.
"Uh, no— Men's. Please" Ryan looks around as he says it, watching for any one eavesdropping in the store.
"You got it, ill be right back" With that she walks around the store to the cabinets on the other side, reaching in and grabbing a tray. "Alright! Do you know his ring size?"
Ryan looks at the rings as she places them down. There's about a 50/50 mix of gold and silver, and they all look like the same exact ring. "Uh, small?"
She laughs lightly, nodding her head and smiling at Ryan with a certain softness in her eyes. "Okay dear, I'll leave you to have a look, just yell out if you need me"
"Thanks.." Ryan mumbles, feeling even more out of place than before.
The rings seemed to only vary in size. Every other detail seemed identical. Plain bands, maybe a line engraved, maybe a random line of different metal. Some bands we're thicker, some were the skinniest rings Ryan's ever seen. Somehow those cost more than the regular thickness.
Ryan felt insane looking at them. There was no way people were genuinely spending— two thousand dollars???— Ryan's eyes widen as he looks at the little piece of paper tied around a ring. He immediately drops it, feeling like even him touching it for a second would take down it's value.
He picks up some of the other rings to look at their prices. The cheapest one is two hundred and fifty dollars.
Now, it's not like Ryan couldn't afford it. He was able to save a lot of his paycheck every week. It was more that, he wouldn't spend that much money on a ring. Not when Naim already has rings— rings that Ryan gave him.
"Any luck?" The lady returns, holding a small bag and packing a necklace into it.
"Not really" Ryan sighs, eyes flicking to the girl that comes up beside him to pay.
He watches the two of them share a small interaction, full of smiles and laughter. The girl looks a bit older than Ryan, and her arms are covered in bracelets that are probably each more expensive than Ryan's whole outfit.
It's in this moment that Ryan looks at the lady's name badge. Tash.
"Have you ever brought him jewellery before?" Tash asks quickly, paying more attention to her register as the customer pays.
"I guess not, but I have given him rings in the past" Ryan sighs, none of the rings in front of him sparking any interest.
"You know, you remind me a lot of my husband" Tash says after waving goodbye to her other customer.
"I do?"
Tash nods. "When he was younger of course— He's always trying to make everything perfect, it took him six whole months to fully plan out our proposal'
"How did he do it?" Ryan's been eating away at himself for taking a week to even start planning.
"In bed, before we got ready for work" Tash says with a soft smile, eyes reminiscing.
Ryan huffs out a breath of amusement. "It took him six months to plan that?"
"That wasn't his plan, but when you know, you know"
Ryan hated that phrase. Cause, he didn't know. He never knows. He didn't just magically know that Naim was the boy he wanted to spend the rest of his life with when they first met. Even when they first kissed.
"And you know what?" Tash continues, sensing Ryan in his own head. "It was perfect, i couldn't imagine him doing it any other way"
"How long have you been married?" Ryan looks down at the ring on her finger.
It's simple, silver, a small diamond right in the middle. "Fourteen years, I was probably just older than you are now" She twists the ring around a little.
"I'm twenty" Ryan states. Not knowing why, but feeling the need to say it.
"I was twenty-two, what about your partner? Same age?" Tash is still smiling, a bit softer than her initial one when Ryan walked in.
"Yeah, yeah, same age" Ryan shoves his hands in his pockets.
Tash smiles softly. "How long have you two been together?"
"Nearly three years" Every time he said it out loud it felt like barely any time at all. It also felt like longer than Ryan expects every time he open his mouth.
It felt like a lifetime since he and Naim first kissed at that abandoned mill. He sees how Naim's whole demeanour has evolved, how much he's changed, and three years just doesn't feel long enough.
"Better than me, i was only with my husband for a year and a half before he proposed" Tash laughs, eyes crinkling.
"Seems like it worked out" Ryan hummed, gesturing to the ring on her finger.
"It did" Tash says in a high, light voice. "And i can feel that it will be the same for you"
"Ry?" Naim's voice sounds from behind him.
Ryan practically jumps, spinning to look at Naim, and the small brown bag he holds in his hand. "Naim— Hey, watcha get?"
"Just a new sketchbook, what are you doing in here?" Naim waves his arm around, looking over the store, his eyes landing on the rings out of the cabinet in front of Ryan.
"Well, i was-"
"Ah is that the ring you were talking about?" Tash interjects, pointing down at Naim's hand and gesturing for him to give her his hand.
"Huh?" Naim's face screws up, looking at Ryan as he lifts his hand up for her to look.
Tash smiles warmly at Naim, taking his hand softly. "We offer a cleaning service, for your rings, do you mind if i take a look?"
Naim hesitates, before nodding. Tash takes the snake ring off of his finger, and rotates it around to get a proper look.
"You guys clean rings?" Naim watches her closely.
"Yes! How else do you think they stay so shiny?" Tash giggles, wiggling her own fingers adorned with rings— that are in fact incredibly shiny.
"How much will it cost to clean that one?" Ryan nods to the ring, playing along.
"For rings that aren't from our store its meant to be thirty dollars, but this looks easy, so it'll just cost you a couple minutes of your time"
"Are you sure?" Ryan tilts his head to the side, processing what this last minute has been.
"Of course, ill be right back" Tash waves them a little goodbye as she walks out back, but not before taking the rings she has brought out for Ryan and putting them back in the cabinet.
Naim watches her walk around the store, until she strays from their vision. "What we're those?"
"Oh, i was seeing if i could.. find something nice for your pops birthday" Ryan speaks slowly, trying to not get caught out after Tash saved his ass.
"That isn't for another two months, and you know he'd complain if you spent so much money on him" Naim bumps his shoulder into Ryan's, a small smile on his face.
"I know, i know, still i wanna get him something nice this year" Ryan raises his shoulders up, mumbling.
Naim rolls his eyes, leaning onto Ryan and resting his head on Ryan's shoulder."You are such a suck up"
"Am not"
"Are to-"
"And done! Heres your ring, all shiny and new!" Tash rushes out, holding the ring up high.
Naim takes the ring from her, moving it around to see the light reflect off of it. "Woah, I've never seen it this bright"
"It's a Christmas miracle" Ryan's hand finds the small of Naim's back.
"Stop with that" Naim glares at him before sliding the ring back on.
It really does shine like new. Ryan doesn't even think it looked like that when he first got it. Now it stands out against Naim's skin, causing the itching urge to put a ring on the finger that for some reason is the one that counts, so much more unbearable.
"Thank you" Naim looks back up to Tash, nodding his head at her.
"It's no problem love, you boys have a great rest of your day" She winks at Ryan when Naim looks back down at his hand.
Another customer in the store calls out for help, which means its their cue to leave and finally go home. Ryan kept watching Naim on the walk to their bus, and on the entire ride home, up until they were entering the front door.
He watched Naim continuously fidget with his ring, Ryan's ring. Not that he can call it his anymore. Even if it is a little too big on Naim, like everything Ryan owns and Naim takes. It still couldn't belong anywhere else but Naim's hand.
ᢉ𐭩 .ᐟ
Tuesdays we're weird.
It was the one day of the week Ryan and Naim's shifts landed at different times. Ryan's from 10am till 4pm, and Naim's from 4:30pm till 8pm.
They worked out a system for Tuesdays. Naim would walk Basil while walking Ryan to work at 10, then going back home. Then he would walk back with Basil at 4, giving him to Ryan to walk back home. Then Ryan would walk with Basil again to pick up Naim at 8.
Tuesday was Basil's favourite day of the week.
But for Ryan it felt like the slowest day to exist. He had gotten home thirty minutes ago, and typically he would go lay in bed, Basil sleeping on the floor beside him, or Levi curled up on his stomach. Naim would be laying beside him, scrolling with his volume way too high.
But relaxing never came easy on Tuesdays, because it was always too quiet without Naim.
So Ryan would settle for sitting in the lounge, or at the dining table, spending the 4 hours until he could see Naim again listening to Kevin watch random hunting channels at a deafening volume.
"Ryan" Gareth sits down at the dining table across from Ryan.
Ryan stops eating the noodles he definitely didnt wait 2 minutes for them to fully cook, placing his fork down and looking around. "Yes?"
"When are you proposing?" Gareth leans slightly across the table, her eyes wide in question.
Ryan chokes on the little bit of food he was still chewing, Gareth slides him a glass water and he takes it with a strained thank you. Kevin comes and sits beside Gareth, wearing the same look she is.
"I, haven't figured that out yet" Ryan coughs the words out, regaining his breath.
"It's been nearly a month since you told us you were going to" Kevin shouts from the couch, grabbing the remote and muting the T.V.
"If your having second thoughts thats okay, you know? You boys are still so young, you don't need to rush" Gareth reaches to place a hand on top of Ryan's.
Naim was the only thing Ryan was completely sure about. He had lost everything so quickly. People he called his friends, going from inviting him out to smoke near the gully, to throwing dead frogs at his face within the span of a week. His mum stopped tip toe-ing to his room once his father had gone to sleep— It was always just to make excuses for his old man, say he only acted so harsh because he loved Ryan, but it was all he had of his mum.
Even the church he hated going to, it was a constant, it was a routine and people he had grown up with. Even if he had to hold back rolling his eyes every Sunday, he got to laugh at the people who would look at him and say 'Well look at just how big you've gotten, what a handsome young man'. None of them even bothered to check if he was okay.
Through all of that, the only thing that kept him going was knowing that Naim was still around. That he still wanted to be with Ryan.
Looking down at Gareth's hand, thumb caressing over his so carefully, Ryan clears his throat. "I'm not having second thoughts, i know i want to do this. I just— Im not sure how"
"Have you found a ring?" Kevin slings his arm back, turning to look at Ryan.
"No" Ryan answers quietly, dipping his head.
Gareth sighs, taking her hand away and sharing a look with Kevin. They both have a silent conversation with just their eyes, before Kevin lets out a loud sigh and reaches over to grab his phone.
"Doris, for once i am inviting you over instead of you just breaking in" Kevin says with the phone to his ear.
Ryan's face scrunches, looking to Kevin, then back to Gareth. "Why are you having Doris over?
"The one thing you gather when being friends with her for nearly three decades, is she's bloody good at getting engaged" Gareth laughs.
"She's on her way" Kevin announces, throwing his phone back down onto the couch cushions.
"Great!" Gareth claps her hands together.
Ryan sits in silence for a moment, staring down at his plate. "Wait— You want me to ask Doris for help?"
"Hell no" Kevin scoffs.
"Not exactly— Doris is one of the only people we know who's managed to get down the aisle more than twice, she would know more than anyone what a good proposal is"
"She's just gonna help get the ball rolling, we dont have forever y'know" Kevin comes up behind Ryan, patting his shoulder.
"What happened to me taking my time?" Ryan grins.
Gareth rolls her eyes and huffs. "Oh come on Ryan, do you want to propose to Naim or not?"
Ryan thinks back to when he gave Naim his snake ring. Sitting on the bus, he wordlessly placed it in Naim's hand, and he had looked at Ryan with his face scrunched in confusion.
He had to take the ring back, and put it on Naim himself. "what's this for?" Naim had asked, and Ryan just shrugged because in the moment he didn't really know. All he knew was he wanted to give something to Naim that was his. Something so Naim could remember him when he couldn't be near him. Something that wasn't going to try and kill him.
"Just want you to have it" He had whispered, and watched as blush crept up Naim's cheeks, watched Naim bite his lip to hide a smile threatening to form. And maybe that was the reason. He just wanted to see Naim smile.
"I do.." Ryan settles on.
"Alright, then it's settled" Kevin nods, walking over to the fridge
It only takes Doris the time it takes Ryan to finally eat his noodles to arrive, opening the front door without knocking.
She goes straight into ranting about doorknockers, apparently two young Mormon boys having had come around earlier, waking her from a nap. For a moment it made Ryan forget why she was even called over in the first place.
That was until she took the seat beside Ryan, and locked her attention entirely onto him.
"Where's your lover boy" Doris points at him, waving her hand around in the air.
"It's Tuesday, he's at work" Ryan forces a smile.
"I forget you two are capable of separating" Doris hums with a grin.
Ryan can only nod, it's something he and Naim forget too. Their anxiety creeps up until it boils over and all they can do is lie together, skin touching skin, just to know that the other is real and there.
"There was actually a reason we called you over" Kevin clears his throat when Doris starts on another tangent.
"Oh, yes of course! What is it?" Doris places her hands on the table, interlacing them.
Gareth looks at Ryan, then at Kevin, then back at Ryan, before finally settling on Doris. "Ryan's proposing to Naim"
"What!" Doris exclaims, jumping in her seat to face Ryan with wide eyes.
"Surprise" Ryan does mini jazz hands.
Doris slowly settles back, and smiles softly at Ryan.
"I've done this rodeo eight times, i know it like the back of my hand— except i guess ive never been the one getting down on one knee" Doris laughs all loud and throaty, throwing her head back as she slaps Ryan's arm.
"Eight? I thought you had only been married three times?" Ryan looks around the room, Gareth and Kevin just shrug their shoulders in sync.
Doris looks up in thought, muttering to herself as she recollects the memories. "Engaged five times, the other three barely got the ring out before i was off on my merry way"
"Well, what was your favourite one?" Ryan shuffles forward.
"My second husband, bless his heart.. He got my whole family together, took us on this nice holiday by the river, we stayed in a cabin for a whole week. And well he was just grilling up some meat and then he got down on one knee in front of all of my family, it meant so much to have them all there"
Ryan thinks about what that would mean for Naim. All he has are Gareth and Kevin. Ryan only has them too. They don't have family that they can invite out to a cabin by a lake for a week.
But maybe he could do that. Maybe he could find a place, get Kevin, Gareth and the animals to come too. Maybe he could pretend that this is all the family they've ever had, and he knows how to use a barbecue.
"Where's the ring?" Doris breaks through his thoughts.
"Don't have one" Ryan looks down at his hands.
"Oh, well you have to have a ring" Doris announces to the room, looking at Gareth with a 'get a load of this guy' look on her face.
Ryan takes a deep breath, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. He can never remember if this was a habit before he met Naim. "I know, I'm trying, i just can't find one"
"Wait just a moment" Gareth smacks her hand down on the table as she gets up and walks out of the room. "Aha! Here" Is heard from down the hall, then quick footsteps.
Gareth rushes back into the room, stopping right in front of Ryan and grabbing his hand.
"What's this?" Ryan looks down at his hand.
"It was a ring Naim's father gave to me when he was just a boy, when we'd look after a Naim when he was younger he always found it and tried taking it home with him" Gareth laughs, her eyes bright and distant."His little face would screw up every time because it would always slip off his finger"
"It's beautiful" Ryan murmurs.
Ryan shoves the ring into his pocket, not knowing what else to do. It presses against his skin as a constant reminder. For the rest of the time Doris is there, Ryan is stuck in his own head. He can't take in anything anyone around him is saying.
All he can feel is the beat of his heart, and the ring in his pocket. And all he can think is how the two are more connected than he initially thought.
ᢉ𐭩 .ᐟ
"And then when i told the guy we have literally never stocked that flavour, he told me i was lying, then just walked out" Naim's been recounting his shift the whole time they walk home.
Ryan shakes his head, unlocking the front door and stepping to the side to let Naim in first. "Some people have no brains"
"I genuinely don't know how they live, like day to day lives" Naim throws his arms out, bending down to unclasp the leash from Basil's collar.
"Maybe they don't, maybe they only exist for five minutes a day" Ryan walks into the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab out leftovers.
Naim rolls his eyes at him, dropping down onto the couch and flicking on the T.V. Its quiet between them as Ryan microwaves two bowls of Shepard's pie, eyes never leaving Naim for longer than ten seconds.
Gareth and Kevin had gone out, planning to stay the night at a friends. That left Ryan and Naim to their own devices.
"What's on tonight?" Ryan gives Naim a bowl, sitting down beside him.
"No fucking clue" Naim blows on the hot food before taking a bite, still having to open his mouth to ease the burn on his tongue.
The T.V plays nonsense in the background as they eat and share more stories from their day. Ryan complains about his coworkers, how they're all just a bunch of grumpy old men. Naim always have numerous stories of insane customers.
It's their routine now, and even after spending nearly every moment of every day with each other, they never run out of things to talk about.
By the time their bowls are placed on the coffee table in front of them, it's cold enough that they cuddle up together under a blanket, choosing to watch whatever mindless show happens to play.
The ring is in Ryan's pocket.
Every night he hid it under all the junk he kept in his bedside drawer. Every morning he would shove it in his pants pocket, just in case he had the guts to take Naim somewhere nice. It's heavy, and burns even stronger than before. His body feels like an empty skeleton with how hard his heart is beating, he's surprised Naim hasn't commented on it yet.
The house is dark aside from the light coming from the T.V. It causes a light glow on Naim's hair. Ryan can't look away.
It's just them, and they aren't in a cabin or even close to a lake. Naim's grandparents are out, Basil ran off the second they got home and there's a million places Levi could be. For all it's worth, it's the most normal and boring night they've shared.
"I had this whole plan" Ryan speaks without thinking, talking over the couple on the screen.
They're flirting, the girls twirling her hair between her fingers. They're supposedly the same age as he and Naim, even if they look at least fifteen years older.
"Plan for what?" Naim shuffles, his chin now resting on Ryan's chest so he can look up at him.
"I went over it with your Nan and Pops, fuck even Doris joined in" Ryan moves his hands around in the air. "I didn't know what to do, I even took advice from a random lady I'd never met before"
Naim's eyebrows scrunch in that way they do when he's confused, or frustrated, or weirded out. They do that for a lot of things. "What's going on Ry?"
"You'll know in a second, trust me" Ryan smiles softly, before pushing himself up to sit. Naim sits up with him, letting one leg dangle off the side of the couch. "I just- I wanted this to be perfect, i wanted it to count"
Naim's still looking at him like he's talking in a different language. Maybe he is, Ryan hasn't been able to get a grasp on his mind recently.
It's always racing ahead of him, slowing down enough that Ryan can just graze his fingers against it before speeding back up again. Except right now. It feels quiet now, it feels like he's holding it in his palms and even though it's jumping and spinning around its still staying in place.
"Do you remember how we started dating?" Ryan speaks just loud enough so he can be heard over the T.V.
"Do you mean when you randomly took me to the mill, or when i unleashed demons onto us?" Naim tips his head to the side, a small smile enveloping his face.
"Shut up." Ryan rolls his eyes, shoving Naim by his shoulder lightly. "Both"
Naim snickers. "Yeah, i guess i remember.. Why?"
"I wish i could have made it more meaningful" Ryan's eyes find the snake ring— shining brighter than all the others—on Naim's finger.
It always stood out, either by its unique design or how it clearly didn't fit Naim's finger. Ryan always sees Naim twirling it around, it had become one of Naim's fidget things. It was his favourite ring he owned before he gave it to Naim. Just like his hoodie Naim's also wearing, thats also a little too big. Nothing of Ryan's fit perfectly on Naim. Except his hands. He thinks they fit perfectly whenever he touches Naim.
"We kind of had other things to deal with it" Naim shrugs, drawing Ryan's attention back to his face.
"I know, but still—" Ryan huffs. He's trying to stay on track but he keeps getting lost staring in Naim's eyes. "Instead of taking you out somewhere nice, i had to take you to some scody mill"
Ryan breathes shakily, and Naim looks caught between wanting to laugh and reach forward to comfort him. "And then, i didn't even ask you to be my boyfriend, you had to ask me if thats what we were"
"And you said yes, if i were to go on about all the mistakes i made at the start— well we both know who would win"
It was a topic that haunted their conversations when they first left Bandee. Ryan forgave Naim instantly, when he knew he should have been angry longer. He should have asked for his ring back. He should have stopped thinking of Naim, and worrying about him. He shouldn't have welcomed Naim with open arms at the bus stop.
But he just couldn't be mad at him. Not when Naim was drowning in his clothes because he didnt have a chance to pack any of his own. Not when Naim looked up at him with these sunken in, wet eyes that made him want to hold him in his arms and never let go. He could never hold onto that anger knowing that he's the happiest he's ever been, when with Naim.
"I just, i knew that this time around i wanted to do it properly" Ryan sighs.
He thought he'd feel more nervous. Aside from his heart feeling like it's going to explode he really feels the most at ease he has in awhile.
"Yet, all this planning and none of it clicked. None of it felt right, and i started freaking out" Ryan laughs at himself.
"You're starting to worry me Ryan" Naim's eyebrows seem stuck in their scrunched state.
"Don't worry baby, its nothing bad" Ryan places his hand on Naim's thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth. "Definitely nothing bad"
At least he hopes it isn't. Maybe Naim will think it's too soon, or pointless. There wasn't really anything that this could add to their relationship.
Ryan puffs out his cheeks. "It's just, the more i thought about it, the more i realised that having this fully planned out, down to the seconds i breathe, just wasn't us"
Naim nodded softly, his eyebrows beginning to ease back.
"We've never had a plan for anything, as long as we were together then we didn't need one" Ryan continues, his hand squeezing slightly on Naim's thigh "Naim. I love you"
Naim's face softens, a smile falling back into place. "I love you too Ry"
"And i know your gonna think this is really corny" Ryan twists around to reach into his pocket.
"Would you tell me what your on about already?" Naim sighs.
Ryan huffs a laugh, nodding. "Yeah, yeah just give me one second"
Ryan turns back, ring sitting in the middle of his palm. It's reflecting the light from the T.V, it almost looks unnatural how the light bounces and spins around.
"What's that?" Naim's eyes flick between Ryan's face and the ring. "Ryan what is that?"
Ryan picks up the ring with his other hand, holding it between two of his fingers. He lifts it up a little higher, watching the light reflect.
"I had a hard time picking, i know you always wore gold when we first met but ive gotten so used to you in my rings, and you suit silver a lot" Ryan drops his hand down again. He fiddles with the ring between his two hands, feeling Naim's eyes watching him intently. "Your Nan gave this to me, she told me how you'd always find a way to get your hands on it"
It's a simple band. Gold. It has this engraving on the inside that resembles a bird. Two birds actually, caught in mid flight.
"Yeah, I'd get upset because it wouldn't fit" Naim's voice sounds distant. "Why- why would she-"
Ryan flicks his eyes back up, catching the exact moment that realisation dawns on Naim's face. His mouth stays open in an 'o' shape, and his eyes widen a fraction. He's looking at Ryan like he can't quite believe what's happening.
"Naim Reid, i know we're barely twenty, and i know we're already stuck together for life" Ryan had a whole speech written down. He had practiced it over and over again in the bathroom mirror, but right now it's thrown out the window.
"But i want you to know, that even if i could walk out that door and never face that stupid entity ever again— I wouldn't, because i want to be with you"
Naim's eyes are watering now, and he's biting down on his lip. Ryan can feel tears welling up in his own eyes. He blinks, swiping an arm across his face to clear the tears, laughing to himself.
Ryan holds the ring up again, holding his free hand out. "I choose to be with you, and i want you to choose to be with me too"
Naim lets Ryan take his hand, nodding slightly, but Ryan waits patiently for his words to find their way out. "Of course i— of course i do" Naim's voice wobbles.
"In that case, will you choose to be stuck with me forever, and marry me?" Ryan barely gets the words out before Naim's pouncing forward and wrapping his arms around Ryan's shoulders.
Naim kisses him feverishly, like he needs Ryan's lips on his to breath. And Ryan sure as hell knows the feeling. All the muscles in his back loosen off the second Naim's lips hit his.
Ryan's hands grasp onto Naim's waist, thumbs rubbing up and down Naim's sides. The ring is long forgotten, dropped to the ground some time between when Ryan started kissing back, and Naim crawled into his lap.
They kiss like they never want to separate. Which, Ryan thinks they've already concluded that to be the truth. If he could somehow sink his hands into Naim's skin and sink in until he was all concealed by Naim's flesh—Ryan would never be seen again.
Naim pushes back, hands on Ryan's shoulders. His lips are swollen and a bright red that matches his cheeks.
"We lost the ring" Naim breathes out, head spinning around to look for the small piece of gold.
Ryan spots it reflecting the T.V glow, dropped down to the floor in front of them. "Get off me a moment" He places a small kiss to Naim's cheek before lifting him and moving him to sit back beside him.
He bends over to grasp the ring, holding it up for Naim to see. Naim looks at the ring biting down on his lip as a grin threatens to break free.
Naim holds his hand out, wordlessly prompting Ryan to put the ring on. Ryan slides the ring on, and its a perfect fit.
"We're engaged" Naim says under his breath, unable to look away from the ring.
"Who would have thought" Ryan sinks back into the couch, watching Naim with a giddy grin.
Naim laughs softly, dropping his hand to look into Ryan eyes. "You're right, that was really corny"
Ryan rolls his eyes, flopping into Naim. "And yet you said yes"
Ryan looks through his lashes up from where he's landed on Naim's lap. Naim's eyes are reflecting the light of the T.V, theres visible tears pricking his eyes. His cheeks and nose are flushed pink, his lips still bright and bitten. He was the most beautiful thing Ryan had ever laid his eyes on.
His heart always felt too small and incapable of the same love he saw around him. But when Naim met his eyes he felt it grow just to accommodate all the love he felt for the boy that never left his side.
"Yeah, guess i did" Naim whispers, his eyes glistening.
Naim's hands are in his hair, scratching at his scalp. Ryan knows that all he is, and all he will ever be, is Naim's to hold.