Archive of Our Own

“Let’s watch the video together,” Hoseok advised.

They all gathered around a laptop in the practice room to monitor the foundations of their choreography for the new single. Mr. Son and the members themselves were allowed to make revisions as they saw fit to make the choreo work for their individual strengths and singing parts, but the contents of the video the choreography team sent them would be the basis of their new comeback.

BST was vastly different in style and theme from Fire; Yoongi didn’t really know what to expect from the new choreography. As always, a small part of him hoped it would be less strenuous than the last. Though, a larger part of him knew their difficult and fast-paced choreo were what made them popular.

He sat next to Seokjin and Namjoon on the right side of the laptop while Hoseok and Jimin sat directly in front. Jungkook and Taehyung flanked the other side opposite Yoongi. When they were all settled, Hoseok pressed play. Yoongi watched as seven men dressed in all black executed the movements. The style was a mix of fluid dance not unlike the I Need U choreo and more fast-paced sharp movements reminiscent of their older styles. It seemed a good fit for this comeback, Yoongi thought. Wings propelled them forward into uncharted territory of solo songs and a more mature sound while their signature style was still present throughout.

What he wasn’t sure was a good fit was all the crotch grabbing and hip thrusting. The I Need You body rolls were one thing, but these moves seemed to have them more focused on thrusting their crotches toward the crowd, toward other members, toward their hands. What the fuck.

He tried to keep an open mind, but a step during Taehyung’s verse toward the end of the song caused him pause. The dancer from the team meant to be Tae stood at the center of the group while another dancer placed his hand on his chest, walked his fingers up to his neck, and grabbed onto his throat. Yoongi hazarded a glance toward Taehyung, immediately worried he might feel uncomfortable performing this hundreds of times in front of live audiences. What his eyes found were quite different. Tae was elbowing Jungkook softly and looking at him with teasing, wagging eyebrows. Yoongi watched as Jungkook rolled his eyes and trained his attention back toward the video. Tae’s lips were still quirked up in a grin as he resumed watching the small screen.

When the video was over, Hoseok closed the laptop and moved to sit cross-legged at the front of the group. “So, what do you think? It’s pretty good.” He couldn’t quite hide the smile in his voice as he spoke. They all felt it: the expectation that this album was the best thing they had produced yet. The choreography added to that feeling. It was explosive and effortless at the same time.

Jin answered first. “I can do that,” he responded with a small laugh. “I like this style.”

“Me, too,” Namjoon agreed. Yoongi looked around the huddle of buzzing bodies sitting on the floor. Everyone else nodded along with the leader’s words.

There was one important thing no one was bringing up. “Um. Don’t you think it’s too…” Yoongi made a humming sound as he tried to find the word he meant. The dance wasn’t inappropriate, not really, but it was definitely different from the image they’ve projected in the past. “sexy for us?”

Jimin didn’t miss a beat before teasing, “What, Yoongi hyung, you don’t think you’re capable of being sexy?”

“No, no, I’m not worried about being sexy.” With an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders, Yoongi declared, “I can be sexy.” He thought he saw an eye roll from someone out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it. “I just mean this is more than just body rolls.”

He looked around to see his members looking back at him like they still didn’t understand what the problem was.

“The lyrics aren’t exactly innocent, hyung,” Taehyung replied.

“The whole concept is about temptation, Yoongi,” Seokjin added.

“I know, I know,” Yoongi said with a sigh. They’re right. He should have expected this.

They never really tried to sell their music by overemphasizing romance or sex. Those tactics seemed cheap to him, and Bang PD was completely uninterested in taking the group in those directions. Even when Bang PD chose INU as the title track last year, he made it clear that the concept would focus on the boys’ relationships with one another rather than a romance between a guy and a girl. That was a relief to Yoongi whose last experience with acting with a woman was shooting that Boy in Luv mv in LA. An experience he routinely shoved in the recesses of his memory.

Themes of temptation and seduction allowed the group to write lyrics about all kinds of different topics that in some cases, like the Intro and BST, covered romantic and sexual attraction, and in other cases, like with the solos, explored more personal ways they individually felt tempted by something in their lives. But, the title track was chosen to purposefully show their more mature, sexy side. Of course the choreography would illustrate that.

“Are you comfortable with this?” Hoseok went to confirm.

“Yeah,” Yoongi responded without hesitation. He couldn’t deny the choreography looked amazing. He only hoped they could execute it as well as the trained dancers who created it.

“Let’s get started, then.”

***

They lined up with Jimin in the front centermost spot. Behind him, Hoseok had his hand covering Jimin’s eyes, and Tae’s hand was resting on his back.

“So we’re still in this formation until Jimin’s first note and then everyone looks up, brings their hand down by their side, and then slowly looks toward the camera,” Hoseok instructed.

Yoongi started with his head looking at the floor, his right arm outstretched with his hand on Tae’s upper back. Jimin sang his part quietly so they didn’t have to continuously play the beginning of the track.

nae pi ttam nunmul Yoongi slowly raised his head toward the ceiling. As Tae looked up at the ceiling at the same time, Yoongi’s hand flopped off of his back by gravity’s force alone rather than his own intention to lower his hand. He couldn’t see the movement in the mirror, but Yoongi supposed it probably looked sloppy.

When they ran through the opening movement a second time, Yoongi was prepared for Tae lifting his torso up from the crouching position. He more gracefully lowered his hand by slowly skimming his fingers down the expanse of Tae’s back. When Yoongi reached the lowermost section, which dipped in towards his waist, he allowed his hand to fall.

“That looked good, Yoongi. Everyone else should do it like that. Can you demonstrate?” Mr. Son prompted.

Yoongi felt pride swell in his chest that he did something right, but he didn’t let it show on his face. He nodded quickly.

Taehyung turned to face Yoongi to watch the demonstration Mr. Son asked for, but Yoongi asked him to turn back around.

“I need your back,” Yoongi said softly, placing his hands on Taehyung’s arms to physically turn him towards the mirror.

Yoongi heard an equally soft “oh” from Tae before he signaled to Jimin to sing the first note.

nae pi ttam nunmul Just as before, he lifted his head to the ceiling while trailing his fingers downward. He felt the muscle flex under his fingertips as Tae stood up. When the younger was upright, his own face toward the ceiling, Yoongi’s hand fell gracefully to his side.

Tae spun around to face the older once more. “I didn’t even notice you did that the first time. It gave me goose bumps.”

“Ah, sorry,” Yoongi said as he scratched the back of his head nervously. “Did it make you feel weird? We don’t have to do it that way?” He cut his eyes over to Mr. Son for confirmation.

Before the choreographer had the chance to respond, Tae said, “No, no, it felt fine. Don’t worry, hyung.” A large grin made its way across Tae’s face and Yoongi couldn’t help but to give him a small smile in return.

“Okay.”

“So, everyone try to move your hand down like that.”

***

Three days later, the rap verses and chorus were down. The last major part of the song left to be worked through was Tae and Seokjin’s break. This section required smaller, more controlled movements than the rest of the routine. Only Taehyung, Seokjin, and Jungkook had singing parts in this section, so Yoongi assumed his role would involve standing in the background.

Everyone stood around the practice room drinking water and checking their phones while Hoseok and Mr. Son discussed the options for how the members could be arranged. Yoongi heard bits and pieces over the sound of blood rushing in his ears from the exhausting two hours spent practicing what they had already learned. It seemed height was important.

“Jin will already be in the back because he must come forward during his line. I think Namjoon should stand next to him since they are similar in height. Otherwise, the formation will look unbalanced,” Mr. Son advised.

Hoseok nodded his head in agreement. “And they put their hands over Jungkook’s eyes, right? I think that’s what’s happening in the video.”

“Yes. So Jungkook is in the middle of those two, standing slightly forward.”

“That leaves the two side parts that assist in the neck move with Taehyungie and then the seventh person who kneels down with Tae after that move is over,” Hoseok reasoned. “Does it really matter who goes where for all of that?”

“Not really, I suppose. Height symmetry again would mean Jimin and Yoongi flanking Tae with you kneeling beside him.”

“That could work. Let’s try that.”

***

Once the placement of Namjoon, Seokjin, and Jungkook kneeling on the floor in the background of the frame was organized and spaced, Hoseok knelt down just one step closer to the front of the group. Mr. Son ordered Tae to stand front and center, with Jimin on his right and Yoongi on his left.

“Okay, Jimin, you will take two steps toward Taehyung, place your hand in the middle of his chest and then walk your fingers up to his throat,” Mr. Son advised. “Try it first slowly.”

Yoongi watched as Jimin did just as he was asked. When his hand reached Tae’s throat, he closed the space between his thumb and forefinger around the space just below Tae’s adam’s apple. Tae let out a small giggle at the action.

“Why did you laugh?” Jimin asked seemingly offended that he was the cause of the laughter.

“Your fingers look so small doing that,” Tae replied with an even louder giggle this time.

“Fuck off,” Jimin said sternly with a punch to Tae’s arm.

“He’s kind of right,” Mr. Son added from across the room. Your hand doesn’t look dominating enough for what the move is suggesting.”

“What’s the move suggesting,” Jungkook asked from the floor, tone clear that he knew exactly what the suggestion was.

“Yoongi hyung, you try,” Hosoek said.

“What?”

“You have longer fingers and a bigger hand in general. It won’t make any difference if you two switch places,” Hoseok replied.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this any better than Jimin did.”

“Just try,” Mr. Son suggested.

Yoongi switched places with Jimin and followed the instructions given to the younger. He took two steps forward. When Yoongi placed his hand on Tae’s chest, he splayed all of his fingers out to make his hand look as dominating as possible. He wasn’t sure of the timing of how his fingers should walk upward, but he evenly spaced the movement until he got to Taehyung’s throat. On instinct, he stopped just short of his clavicle, held for just a fraction of a second, and then jutted forward sharply to grab his neck. There was no pressure behind his hand despite the intensity of the movement.

Yoongi felt Taehyung’s breath against his cheek, and he looked up to find Tae gazing at him with curiosity etched between his eyebrows.

“Hyung that was good,” Tae said, voice too low and too close. Yoongi pulled his hand back and returned the two steps back to his starting position. He looked up at Mr. Son for feedback.

“That works much better. Try it again.”

As the day’s practice came to an end, not only was Yoongi now in Jimin’s role but Hoseok had taken Jimin’s new role as well.

At the end of Jungkook’s lines, Jimin and Yoongi were to cross the formation in the space between Tae and Hoseok. When they did, Mr. Son stopped them for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. Once again, height was important. Since Yoongi and Jimin were so close in height, the crossing didn’t allow both of their faces to be captured by the imagined camera. He ordered Jimin and Hoseok to switch places.

“Move over, Jimin hyung, Yoongi hyung is our new star dancer,” Jungkook teased as they all lay exhausted on the practice room floor.

“First you got the spotlight at the beginning and end of fire and now this.” Namjoon nudged his leg lightly from his own sprawled out position on the cool floor next to Yoongi.

“Shit, you have the chorus for 21st Century Girls. Maybe you’ll have the center for that dance,” Seokjin said with an over exaggerated gasp.

“You guys wouldn’t be able to handle me at the center. It would be Suga and his backup dancers.” Yoongi didn’t even have the energy to sound especially confident.

Apparently Tae still had the energy to roll onto his side and hold his stomach while he let the laughter overtake him.

“Yah!” Yoongi managed to say just slightly louder than he was talking before. “What’s so funny?” He turned his head to the right so that he could see Tae’s face. Yoongi’s cheek rested on the cooling tile of the floor, relaxing him that much further despite his dongsaengs teasing him.

“Nothing, hyung,” Tae said still clearly laughing. “I’ll gladly be your backup dancer.”

“I’m just thinking about Yoongi being a solo rapper with exactly one backup dancer,” Seokjin said. Now he was laughing, too.

Yoongi allowed that image to fill his head. Rapping in the middle of the stage with tight jeans, a baggy jacket, and a snapback. With Taehyung doing one-man interpretive choreography behind him. He couldn’t help but to allow a sputtering laughter fall from his lips. It was exhausting to laugh, it was exhausting to do anything but lay here, but Yoongi felt a little less like hating his job on a day like today with the sound of all of their giggling echoing off the dance practice walls.

***

Later that night, everyone showered and clambered around in the kitchen for sustenance. Even Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to go to the studio after a full day of learning new choreography. It wasn’t just the physical exhaustion of repeating the same movements over and over again but also the mental toll of trying to remember the steps. He was drained in every sense of the word.

The miniscule amount of energy left in his being wanted no part of making an elaborate dinner, so he opted for pre-packaged ramen. Yoongi preferred cooking the noodles on the stovetop and then adding the seasoning rather than adding hot water to the noodles in a cup--they never seemed to be as well cooked--but when he entered the kitchen, Taehyung was already at the stove.

Yoongi walked up to the younger, and with mind fogged by exertion and hunger, allowed his hand to run gently down to the small of Tae’s back while he spoke.

“What are you making?” Tae looked over at him with eyes clouded by exhaustion and that soft kindness that never seemed to leave his expression.

“Ramen. Do you want me to add another pack of noodles?”

Yoongi idly rubbed small circles on the expanse of skin right above Tae’s waistband. “Yeah, but I’ll watch over it. You can go sit down. I’ll bring it to you when it’s done.”

“Hyung, you don’t have to, I don’t mind,” Tae protested.

“Taehyungie, go rest. You worked hard today.” Yoongi punctuated his words by placing both of his hands on Tae’s hips and physically shifting him away from the stove. Tae probably could have easily resisted, but he was pliant under Yoongi’s embrace.

“Thank you, hyung,” Tae whispered shyly. As much as Yoongi knew Tae loved to be praised, he didn’t express his affection for the younger that often. Everyone who had ever even looked at Kim Taehyung told him how nice, cute, sweet, good-looking, handsome, talented he was. Yoongi didn’t really feel like he had anything else to add. But, on nights like tonight, with Tae looking at him with bloodshot eyes and sore muscles, he wanted nothing more than to make sure Tae knew how much his efforts were appreciated.

“Go,” Yoongi pushed him toward the couch with a gentle push on his back.

He added a second pack of noodles to the water and busied himself assembling their bowls of ramen. Once everything was ready, he poured out the salty water into the sink and quickly washed the pot so that he would have nothing left to do once his belly was full but to go to sleep.

When Yoongi reached the couch, two bowls of ramen in hand, he saw Taehyung slumped over the armrest, head resting on his hands, with his eyes closed and his breathing labored. Yoongi knew the younger needed to eat, but he dreaded having to wake him up.

He sat their dinner down on the coffee table and kneeled down in front of Tae’s sleeping frame. He placed his hand on Tae’s shoulder and with the slowest of movement tried to rouse him. When that didn’t immediately work, he whispered, “Taehyungie, it’s time to eat. You can go back to sleep as soon as you’re finished.”

Tae groaned in response, but a sleepy grin unmistakably overtook the scowl when he opened his eyes.

“I’m too tired, hyung. Feed me,” Tae mumbled.

“No,” Yoongi deadpanned. He shifted back to his feet now that Tae was clearly awake, grabbed his bowl, and headed to his room to eat at his desk.

When he returned to the kitchen to place his dishes in the dishwasher, he found Tae’s empty bowl sitting on the end table. His irritation at his dongsaeng’s lack of cleanliness was overtaken by contentedness that Tae was full of food and sleeping in his own bed.

***

With roles in the last section of choreography finalized, they could all break into groups to perfect the minute details. No one wanted four members kneeling in waiting while the rest practiced the same move over and over again.

So, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Tae stood at one end of the practice room while Namjoon, Seokjin, and Jungkook stood at the other. Jimin’s role didn’t require as much detail, as he simply shifted forward to kneel with Tae, but he practiced the timing and spacing of his own movements in the middle of the room.

“Okay, let’s focus on the footwork first,” Hoseok advised.

Each member of the temporary dance practice subunit spaced themselves as if the entire group was performing Jungkook’s section of the chorus. Tae took two steps into the center of the imagined formation spinning once as he did so. Yoongi, just one step to the left of Tae during the chorus, needed to be at his side quick enough to complete the throat movement on the right beat.

The first time they attempted the spacing, Yoongi was too far away, and his outstretched arm looked awkwardly strained in front of him. On the second try, he overcompensated.

Yoongi doubled the length of his steps and managed to fall into Taehyung as his hand instinctively found its place on Tae’s chest. Tae steadied the older with one arm around his shoulder and one hand on his waist. With Yoongi’s hand on his chest and Tae looking down at him with amused eyes, Yoongi thought briefly that they looked like they were in a cheesy romance drama. This was meant to be sexy, but he looked like a clumsy, wide-eyed protagonist. Why hasn’t anyone cast Tae in a romantic comedy; he’d be a perfect leading man, he thought to himself.

“Hyung, if you wanted me to hold you all you had to do was ask,” Tae teased with a wink.

Yoongi scoffed and untangled himself out of Tae’s arms. When he tried a third time, the distance was far enough that Yoongi didn’t bump into Tae but close enough that his arm was bent and relaxed as he walked his fingers up Tae’s chest.

They practiced the timing of their steps what felt like a hundred times before Hoseok allowed them to break for water and move on to the timing of the hand movements.

“So, we need to make sure you place your hand in the same spot, on the same beat, and that you walk your fingers up the same amount of times, on the same beats, and that your throat grab occurs at the exact same time every time,” Hoseok instructed while Tae and Yoongi rehydrated.

“Easy Peasy,” Tae said with a beaming smile toward his hyung.

“Easy for you. You just have to stand there.”

“He does have to sing,” Hoseok added.

“Yeah, I have to sing while looking like I want to eat you alive for choking me.”

Yoongi almost did a spit take as his throat constricted on instinct when hearing Tae’s words. He sputtered and coughed until his eyes were filled with tears and his face was red.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be choked, Yoongi hyung, please let me have my moment.”

Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from laughing at Tae’s quip. He brought his hand up to hide his giggle as he looked between his two teasing group mates.

“Shut up,” Yoongi responded weakly. He couldn’t even formulate a proper retort with the burning in his throat.

“I will when you wrap your hand around my throat. Come on, come on.” Tae grabbed Yoongi’s wrist and dragged him back to their practice space. Yoongi quickly threw his water bottle against the wall, took a steadying breath, and waited to hear the music from Hoseok’s phone signaling that he should reach out for Tae’s chest.

An hour later, Yoongi thought they pretty much had it down perfectly. He took two steps toward Taehyung, and he walked his fingers up three times. Just as his instinct guided him on executing the move for the first time, Yoongi stopped for just a fraction of a second below Tae’s collar before sharply grabbing forward to wrap his long fingers around Tae’s throat. They also practiced Hoseok’s addition to the choreo, placing his hand on Yoongi’s wrist and helping him guide Tae to his knees.

“Okay, let’s give it a few tries with full music, speed, timing, and facial expressions. Then we’ll regroup and do everything together with the others.”

Yoongi got into position and ran through the steps now ingrained in his muscle memory. He hadn’t thought about where he would look during the performance yet, but he found himself looking at his own fingers as Taehyung sang his line.

“Yoongi hyung try looking at me this time,” Tae suggested. “It’ll look cool if we have strong eye contact.”

Per Taehyung’s suggestion, the second time they ran through the steps, he took two steps forward, reached out at the now familiar distance, and looked into Tae’s dark brown eyes as Tae sang directly to him nareul budeureopge jugyeojwo. His eyes were sharp, gaze piercing as if Tae could see everything inside of his head. Yoongi felt vulnerable like he wanted to squirm under that attention. Tae interrupted the choreography by speaking before he was meant to be guided to his knees.

“You’re just looking at me blankly. Try acting more.”

Yoongi dropped his hand from Tae’s throat. “I can’t act, Taehyung, you know that.”

“Just think of it as pretending then. I’m pretending you’re my temptation. Your hands on me are what I want, but I know that I shouldn’t. You pretend you want nothing else but me. You want me to give in to you. Convey that with your eyes,” he said matter of factly as if reading the roles in a script. Yoongi thought how easy this must be for Taehyung. Meanwhile, he felt overwhelmed by the mere thought that he was the temptation. How could anyone be tempted by him?

“Try for me at least once, please, hyung.”  Tae, despite being taller than him, still managed to look at him through his lashes. His expression was nonthreatening, trusting even.

“Okay.”

They resumed starting positions for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Yoongi thought about Tae’s words before the music started. I want nothing else but him. I want Tae to give in to my temptation. As his hand made contact with the younger’s chest, Yoongi looked Tae directly in the eyes. He tried to convey want and desire and seduction with just one look. His demeanor in the other parts of this choreography weren’t that different from attempting to convey these emotions, but this time he wasn’t staring at a pretend camera. This time he was looking at Taehyung. Who was looking right back at him as if Yoongi was the one thing in the room he wanted most. As Yoongi’s hand found its way to Tae’s neck, a smirk formed on Tae’s singing lips. The confident, alluring expression didn’t leave him until he was firmly on his knees in between Yoongi and Hoseok.

Tae stood up to face him with a boxy grin on his face. One look with playful, innocent eyes and a wide smile removed the tension between them as if it was never there, as if it was just all pretend. Yoongi couldn’t return Tae’s lightheartedness when his stomach felt suddenly uncomfortable and heavy.

“That was perfect, Yoongi hyung. See, I knew you could do it!” Tae said excitedly.

Yoongi looked to Hoseok for confirmation.

“Yeah, he’s right. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you look at someone quite like that,” Hoseok responded honestly.

“Ah, now Min Yoongi is our main dancer and leading actor.” Tae emphasized his teasing with a ruffle of the older’s hair.

Yoongi immediately groaned and swatted Tae’s hand away.

“Come on, let’s regroup,” Yoongi said, though the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach only intensified when Tae’s fingers touched his scalp.

***

From their kneeling positions, the other half of the group looked on quietly to see what Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok had practiced. Yoongi swore he heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him as his hand found purchase on Tae’s chest. He maintained eye contact with Taehyung once more. The feeling in his stomach seemed to spread to his chest, which was now tightened with some kind of nervousness he didn’t consciously understand. He wasn’t nervous to perform this song. He wasn’t uncomfortable executing this choreography. Why was his body conveying the opposite?

When Jin finished his lines, Hoseok walked over and shut off the music. “That looked good. I think if we run through it a few more times, we’re ready for Mr. Son to give us feedback.” Since the company was taking on more and more trainees, and Bangtan themselves were more skilled at learning dance routines, their choreographer wasn’t usually present for all of their practice sessions. They always needed a skilled pair of eyes to watch their performances, though, as they had little idea what the entire group looked like dancing together from a distance. “What do you all think?” Hoseok invited the other members to give their own feedback about how the choreography felt.

“It’s still hard to line my hand up perfectly with Namjoon’s, but I think we’re ready for feedback,” Jin responded.

“I think my scooting forward was pretty perfect,” Jimin said with a cute grin. Hoseok smiled at him and gave an approving nod.

“Um. Are we just going to ignore that Yoongi and Taehyung are eye-fucking each other on stage,” Jungkook suddenly bursted out.

Yoongi’s eyes snapped to the youngest, concern fitting into the space between his eyebrows. Eye-fucking.

“It’s supposed to be intense, Jungkookie,” Tae responded with a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “We thought it conveyed the theme well.”

“I don’t know if you guys realize what you look like,” Namjoon added gently.

“Hobi watched,” Yoongi offered. He wasn’t sure what that was meant to contribute, but he felt like it was an obvious point the others weren’t considering.

Everyone looked at their dance captain expectantly. “Uh, it is intense, but I didn’t think it was inappropriately so?” Hoseok looked as if he was playing their performance back in his mind. “What are you thinking exactly? Jungkook? Namjoon?”

“I just think it’ll stand out as way more suggestive than the rest of the routine,” Jungkook said.

“There is literal grinding of the floor and humping of the air in the rest of the routine,” Yoongi responded, oddly defensive of his performance.

“It’s different when it’s you two together,” Namjoon added just as gently as before.

Taehyung, who had been watching the conversation, looked deflated when Yoongi peered over at him. Tae was the one who encouraged the eye contact and now he was being scolded for it.

“Why don’t we just watch it? Hoseok, can you record us? We’ll just do the throat part.” Hoseok nodded and pulled out his phone.

Yoongi and Taehyung completed the steps while the others stood behind hoseok’s phone. When they were finished, the first thing Yoongi heard was Seokjin.

“Okay, I see what you mean.”

“Just let us watch,” Yoongi said with edge to his voice. He wanted everyone to stop making Taehyung feel bad.

Tae joined Yoongi to view the short video. He placed his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders and held the phone with his left hand, even though Yoongi was firmly holding it with his right. Tae’s hand was warm and kind of sweaty on top of his own. As he watched, Yoongi was enveloped in the warmth of Tae’s body heat.

What he saw was different from what it felt like to perform the steps. What he saw was not just the suggestive moves of his hand but also a look shared between the two that made his cheeks blush and his stomach coil. If he saw this video out of context, and two other people were performing, he would assume they were going to rip each other’s clothes off at the end of that gaze. There was no playfulness, no hint of “this is just the choreography and we’re doing it.” Instead, there was palpable tension. Yoongi couldn’t help but notice how pretty the tan skin of Tae’s neck looked against his hand; he also noticed Tae biting his lip ever so slightly as he finished singing. As much as he hated to admit it, the others were right. There was more tension between them in this small clip than there was in the entirety of the rest of the dance. Not wanting to deflate Tae further, Yoongi hoped he came to the same conclusion on his own.

“What do you think?”

“Just look at your fingers next time,” Tae said as he stepped away from Yoongi. He didn’t look at him as he said it, but Yoongi thought Tae’s voice sounded empty. He didn’t sound sad or disappointed. Just matter of fact.

***

Yoongi didn’t have much time to think about their choreography as they took a break from practicing for the comeback to rehearse for a few concerts they had in the upcoming week. Although their Fire and Dope choreographies were well-practiced at this point, they always made a point to thoroughly rehearse the routines before each event. Yoongi learned early on after debut that overconfidence when it came to dancing usually meant stupid mistakes.

These routines were familiar and comfortable. He wasn’t worried about hands on throats or eye contact with anyone but the camera.

Yoongi did notice one thing that seemed to be new. Or maybe it was old and he just hadn’t noticed it before. When they reached the end of their Fire rehearsal, and Yoongi came forward to break through the barrier created by Hoseok and Taehyung’s arms, he felt eyes on him.

He completed the steps as usual, but during the second run through, he couldn’t help but to peek. As he walked forward, Yoongi looked for a quick second toward Taehyung’s eyes which were, as expected, watching him closely. It never really occurred to Yoongi just how close they were during this last note. He made a quick mental note to ensure he was walking in the middle of both members rather than favoring Tae’s side. The ending wouldn’t look balanced otherwise.

Yoongi was broken out of that thought when he felt Taehyung’s hand on his chest. He never considered it much before, but surely Tae usually held his arm straight out and allowed Yoongi to bump through it? This time, and Yoongi swore this was the first time, Tae dragged his long, pretty fingers across Yoongi’s chest as the older moved forward. His fingertips raked across sweat soaked shirt, across nipples too-hard from the exertion of their practice.

Yoongi forgot to mouth yongseohaejulge as an intense shiver ran down his spine. He spun around to look back at the younger, but Tae was already walking toward the end of the room to check his phone.

Yoongi grabbed his water bottle and sat down against the mirror. He couldn’t help but to look over at Taehyung whose back was still turned. Yoongi took the opportunity to admire his body, a body that seemed to be so close to him as of late. Taehyung was tall and broad but not in the way Seokjin was tall and broad. He was fit and toned but not in the way Jungkook and Jimin were fit and toned. No, Tae was beautiful in a way that was uniquely his own. He managed to look like a sculpted, flawless idol while also looking like a regular person whose tummy and thighs were soft. See, this is why he should be cast in a romance drama. He is handsome to catch all of the viewer’s hearts, but he doesn’t look like an overly buff, unrealistic actor in his 30s trying to play a university student, Yoongi thought.

“Hyung, you’re staring.” Yoongi was pulled out of his thoughts by Hoseok sitting down beside him.

“I zoned out,” Yoongi said. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back on the cool surface of the mirror.

Hoseok chuckled quietly beside him. “Are things weird between you and Taehyungie after the eye contact thing?”

“I don’t think so. We haven’t really talked much since then.” That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Tae was closer to Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok than he was with him. Actually, if Yoongi thought about it long enough, Tae was probably closer to every other member before himself. Yoongi wasn’t his first choice for conversation.

“Well, if things are weird, you and I can switch positions,” Hoseok offered.

“Hobi, it’s not weird.” Yoongi turned his head to the left while still maintaining contact with the refreshing surface of the mirror.

“I know. Just...if it is...we can fix it easily.”

“It’s not. But okay.”

***

On second thought, maybe it was weird. As they all stood on a stage with more than thirty photographers flashing and yelling in their direction before the first concert of the week, Yoongi thought maybe Tae was acting a bit off. Still, they hadn’t talked much, but that was just what they were like. Yoongi was busy; Tae played with the others.

But on stage, with Tae standing to his right as he always did in their standing order, Yoongi felt distance.

He felt no hand on his shoulder, no knuckles brushing against his arm, no noises of aegyo from one Kim Taehyung who loved to put on a show for the reporters. Tae was beautiful as always, but he was remarkably quiet. Yoongi looked down at their feet to see that Tae was leaving a solid thirty centimeters between them.

“Fighting pose, please,” a member of the event staff said. Yoongi looked to his left to see the other members instinctively putting their left hands on the shoulder of the person next to them while holding their fists up with their right. Yoongi put his hand on Jin’s shoulder and smiled while sweeping the room with his eyes to ensure every camera got a good photo. It was only once he removed his own hand from Jin’s shoulder did he realize the weight of Tae’s hand was never on him at all.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi said as close to Tae’s ear as he could reach as they walked off the stage.

“Why?”

Yoongi recognized that wasn’t exactly an answer. “You seem quieter than normal. Are you feeling alright?” he whispered as the entire group walked back to the waiting room. The others were chatting around him and unlikely to be listening, but he didn’t want to broadcast Tae’s business to anyone else.

“I’m alright, hyung.” Neither Tae’s voice nor his eyes conveyed the meaning of his words.

Yoongi sighed and placed his hand on the small of Tae’s back to guide him into the lobby. As they crossed the threshold, Taehyung leaned down to say, “Be careful, hyung, it might look like we’re fucking if you keep your hand there.”

Yoongi pulled back from Tae’s face at the amount of disgusted sarcasm in his voice. He suspected Tae was upset with the decision to not maintain eye contact during the routine, but his words suggested perhaps there was something more than just being disappointed that Tae’s choreography decision was not upheld.

“Come here.” Yoongi pulled Tae by the wrist over to a corner of the lounge. He sat in a chair catty cornered against the wall with Tae sitting across from him, back to the members and staff who were passing through the room. Yoongi wanted to make sure he had the younger’s full attention.

Tae sat down and looked at his hands balled into two fists in his lap.

“Okay. You’re obviously not all right. Want to try telling me again what’s up?” Yoongi said matter of factly. He was probably the only person in the world that didn’t treat Taehyung like he needed to be handled with care.

“I don’t know,” Tae mumbled, head still looking down at his lap.

Yoongi reached forward and unballed each of Tae’s hands. The action was slow and whether Yoongi would admit it to himself or not, caring. He pulled on Tae’s fingers individually, starting with his pinky, to break each free from his palm. Yoongi massaged each finger gently and once all of Tae’s fingers were free, he began massaging each palm. He didn’t look up from the action but began talking to Tae while he worked.

“Listen, I know it’s weird to think about me like that, but-” Taehyung grabbed onto Yoongi’s hands to still them.

“Hyung, that’s not it,” Tae said, concern etched in between his eyebrows.

“What is it then?”

“The way they said it. It was like they thought the idea of us being sensual on stage was wrong.” Yoongi could tell by the searching look in Tae’s eyes that he wasn’t quite done, so he stayed quiet while Taehyung thought about how he wanted to phrase his thoughts.

“Why is it only okay for us to look sexy if we’re pretending to be sexy with fans? Isn’t that actually weird? So many of our fans are underage strangers. It’s better if we’re sensual with each other, at least we’re all of age and care about each other,” he said.

Yoongi didn’t speak for a moment. That wasn’t what he was expecting Taehyung’s concern to be. But now that he heard it out loud, Yoongi followed Tae’s logic perfectly.

“I don’t think they thought it was wrong because it was us. It was just disproportionately sensual, Taehyungie. When we’re pretending to be sexy for the camera and the fans it’s not that intense because like you said, we don’t actually have a personal relationship with them. But we do,” Yoongi said with a squeeze to Taehyung’s hands, “have a love and understanding for each other, so it feels out of place and something different from the rest of the routine. I don’t think anyone thought it was wrong or bad, just out of place.”

Tae looked up from his lap to look at Yoongi in that way he always seemed to--through his thick, long lashes--and gave the smallest of grins. “Are you sure?” he barely whispered.

“Absolutely sure. Don’t worry, Tae, no one was being judgmental or close-minded from what I could tell.”

“Okay. I might have jumped too quickly to that conclusion,” he said with a small chuckle.

“You could have just voiced your concern right then after we watched the video. You didn’t have to hold it in.”

“Ah, I didn’t want to lash out since I was angry. I thought I was cooled off enough that night, but there was this itching feeling ever since that I was doing something wrong.”

“You’re only guilty of being too sexy Taehyungie. Not the worst problem to have,” Yoongi teased.

Taehyung immediately raised his eyebrows at the older. “Hyung, you think I’m sexy?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut up. Let’s just worry about this performance, alright?”

“Okay, okay. Thanks, hyung.” Tae made a move like he was going to hug Yoongi, but he seemed to change his mind at the last second and simply placed his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder as he stood up. He gave a reassuring squeeze.

***

Tae closed the distance between them after that. When they stood on a press stage for the second concert of the week, he kept close to Yoongi’s side and didn’t remove his hand from Yoongi’s shoulder even once. He was so intent on sticking to the older that Yoongi had to physically push him to step away so that they could move off the stage.

“Go, go, please,” he said with two hands on Tae’s waist, guiding him from behind.

“Hyung, you drive, you’re doing such a good job at it.”

“Drive? What does that even mean?” Tae suddenly dropped all of his weight onto Yoongi. He leaned his head back onto Yoongi’s shoulder and pressed his back to Yoongi’s chest. Tae was only going to shift his feet if Yoongi pushed him forward enough to do so.

“Kim Taehyung, what the fuck,”--that last word was whispered right next to his ear so the staff couldn’t hear him curse--“are you doing? Walk for yourself.”

Yoongi pushed him forward with his hands and his chest, hoping to right Taehyung back on his feet, but Tae dropped his weight back into his chest almost immediately. At this point the entire rest of the group had passed them, unwilling to wait for the silliness of the younger to prevent them from getting some rest before they had to perform.

“Tae, I am going to…” Yoongi wrapped his right hand around Tae’s throat and gave two light squeezes. “Get off of me, brat.”

“Nareul budeureopge jugyeojwo,” Tae sang with perfect tone and pitch. He barely got the last syllable out before bursting into giggles.

“Yah,that was meant to be threatening!” Yoongi complained.

“My body is conditioned to sing when your hand is on my throat. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.” They were almost at the lobby now, Yoongi still pushing Taehyung with all of his body weight toward their destination.

“I need to condition you for more useful things,” Yoongi grunted with exertion.

“What could be more useful than my beautiful voice singing on command every time your fingers touch my throat. You’re getting a double win, hearing me sing and touching me. Win win.”

“You’re mighty full of yourself today, Kim Taehyung,” Yoongi said with one final push of Taehyung’s body through the lobby door. Tae flew forward, stumbling into the room on his hands and knees.

“How is that different from every other day,” Jimin interjected while walking with a plate of lunch in his hand past Taehyung who was still on the floor.

“Hey!” Tae slapped as much of Jimin’s thigh as he could reach.

“Ah, I know, I’ll condition Jimin to tease you every time I snap my fingers or something.”

“Wha?” Jimin garbled around a bite of noodles.

“Day one of your training! Go!” Yoongi snapped enthusiastically with both hands.

Jimin quickly swallowed his bite of noodles. “You’re too cute all the time. Be more serious!” Jimin chided.

Yoongi sighed heavily. “Okay, we’re going to have to work on that.”

Taehyung just grinned at them both. Cutely.

***

Yoongi was relieved to see the 21st Century Girls choreography was the complete opposite of Blood, Sweat & Tears. There was no thrusting or overly sensual eye contact. What was present, to his surprise, was a chorus where he was in fact at the center. Yoongi thought back to their other comebacks, to the other songs they performed in their concerts. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been at the center while singing the chorus of a song. The chorus was almost always vocal, not rap. He was proud and admittedly a bit nervous. Luckily, the steps weren’t too difficult.

They spent a few days going over the basics of the choreo, all of which were relatively simple. Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin helped out with creating the steps more so than they normally did. The dance was fun and light and an appropriate contrast to their title track. Neither the company nor the group wanted the public to think they were only a sexy concept. This song was important for their fans and casual listeners, and the choreo itself was going to help show that the tone of this album was not all that BST appeared.

Once everything seemed to be in place, Hoseok ordered a full run through. Things were going smoothly for Yoongi. There was one section in the chorus he struggled to get the timing just right, but he was aware of it and would continue to practice to make sure it was perfect. After the last chorus with him at the center, Yoongi felt relieved. There was only the “cute pose at the camera” and hop off stage final chorus left.

As Jin finished his pose toward the imaginary camera, they all raised their arms straight out toward the ceiling, lowered them down toward their face slowly, and then turned in the opposite direction to hop off stage. Yoongi was lowering his arms as necessary when he saw Taehyung, stood in front of him, deviate from the instructed choreography. Tae lowered his hands more quickly than the others and used the extra second or two to ruffle his hands through Hoseok’s hair.

Yoongi watched this over Tae’s shoulder. He saw long, pretty fingers glide through hoseok’s newly dyed hair. Yoongi couldn’t see Tae’s face, but the side of his cheek was pulled up enough for him to assume the younger was smiling. He was playing with Hoseok as the two often did.

What didn’t happen often was the pang of almost….sadness Yoongi felt while watching the action. As they turned to face the opposite direction, Yoongi silently hoped he would feel long, pretty fingers massaging his scalp, a low giggle behind his ear. What he felt instead was Tae’s hands coming to rest on his shoulders as the choreography required. He felt ashamed of just how much he liked the feeling of warmth that spread outward from the point of contact.

He watched Tae repeat the playful ruffling of Hobi’s hair four more times before they were finally dismissed from practice.

Yoongi elected to walk home to the dorms rather than ride in the van with the rest of the members. With the last bits of the day’s sun beating down on his neck, he thought about why Taehyung wasn’t playful or touchy with him like he was the other members. The younger would tease him if he wanted to annoy him, like falling onto him at that press stage, but it didn’t go beyond teasing. He just wanted to hear Yoongi groan.

It wasn’t always this way. When Tae first joined the group, he was affectionate with all of them. He wanted to be praised and to be petted and to be played with. There was the infamous can-I-shower-with-you-hyung incident that Yoongi talked about in interviews when they first debuted. But there were more subtle moments, too.

Tae would lay his head on Yoongi’s shoulder when they sat waiting for the practice room to open up. He would hug Yoongi from behind as he washed the dishes Taehyung himself left in the sink. Yoongi could still remember the feeling of Tae nuzzling in between his shoulder blades. Despite the warmth of the summer sun, he shivered with the memory.

But one too many “not now”s and “please bother someone else”s caused Tae to shift away from treating Yoongi like he did the others. He was a thoughtful kid who understood boundaries and preferences. Tae quickly figured out Yoongi didn’t like skinship all the time and didn’t deal with stress by joking and playing. Yoongi was grateful for that, wasn’t he? As he reached the front door of their dorm, he suddenly wondered if he might just feel regretful.

***

Not a shower, dinner, a trip to the studio, nor a beer before bed cleared Yoongi’s thoughts of what he wanted from Tae. It was true that he still didn’t like people to crowd his personal space; it was true he still wasn’t as foolish as the others. But Yoongi was letting himself laugh more, to have more fun, with the recent success of Young Forever and the release of his mixtape. He was less burdened and frankly, happier. He wanted someone to laugh with.

“You okay?” Seokjin asked as Yoongi walked around their shared bedroom putting on pajamas and clearing his bed of freshly washed clothes.

“Yeah, why?”

“I can see the wheels turning in your head,” Jin noted.

Was he that obvious? “Can I ask you something?” Yoongi sat on his half-messy bed and faced Jin who appeared to be playing a game on his ipad.

“Shoot.”

“Am I boring?’

Jin tore his eyes away from his game and lowered the ipad into his lap. He looked at Yoongi with knitted eyebrows and clenched jaw. “No. Why?”

Yoongi suddenly found their carpet very interesting. “I don’t know...Hobi is playful with everyone, but you play around with Jungkook, Jimin and Namjoon are always giggling, Taehyungie jokes around with everyone in the known universe but me.”

“Yoongi.” He looked up to meet Jin’s eyes. “You’re not boring. We all know you don’t always liked to be bothered with that stuff.”

“Ah,” Yoongi replied with a sad smile. “Maybe sometimes I do like to be bothered.”

Jin chuckled softly. “Noted. Sure that’s all that was on your mind?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi got up to start moving the rest of the clothes off of his bed.

“Okay. You do seem lighter these days, Yoongi. I’m happy to see that. I’m happy you’re happy.”

Yoongi looked over to see Jin smiling at him with kindness in his eyes. “I’m happy, too, hyung.”

“Get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” Jin put his ipad on his nightstand and moved down more comfortably in his duvet.

“You, too, hyung. Sleep well.”

***

The next day during dance practice Yoongi felt a playful slap on his ass in the middle of the choreo. He looked in the mirror to see a distinct smirk on the face of Kim Seokjin.

***

Waiting was the worst part of being an idol. You wait to debut, you wait for your comeback, you wait for your paycheck. You constantly, constantly wait to perform and to record. Perhaps the most waiting to occur in one single day came with shooting music videos. Yoongi never understood why they were called for an mv shoot early in the morning when the crew would take five hours setting up the shots and getting the set ready.

Thus they all sat waiting. Luckily, the opening shot of the day took place in a building with several rooms they used for makeup, wardrobe, and of course, waiting. All the members and a few managers sat around in plastic chairs staring down at their phones. Taehyung’s voice interrupted Yoongi from reading the comments on their latest album teaser.

“I’m bored out of my mind, let’s play a game.” He spun his chair around to sit in it backwards.

“Let’s do the bottle flipping thing,” Jungkook suggested.

“No, that’s not fun for the whole group. And you’re too good at it. It’s not fun for anyone else, really.”

“We should play that as a drinking game sometime,” Yoongi said.

“I’m pretty sure that already basically exists, hyung. It’s called flip cup,” Taehyung responded with a small giggle.

“Oh.”

“Let’s do seven second challenges,” Jin offered. “That’s easy.”

“What’s that?” Namjoon asked.

“You challenge someone to do something in seven seconds. It can be anything.”

“How about if you complete the challenge you get a point. Whoever has the most points whenever we stop playing wins?” Taehyung said.

“What’s the prize?” Yoongi asked, always prepared to play a game as long as there is a prize or punishment at stake.

“Whoever was the last person to give you a challenge you beat has to buy you dinner,” Namjoon suggested.

“Ooooohhh that’s good,” Hoseok sad.

“Alright. Who’s going to start?”

Thirty minutes later Yoongi was finding he was pretty good at this game. He was also finding Jimin was pretty terrible at this game.

“Okay, Jimin,” Yoongi started, “Name five songs where I have the first verse. Go!”

“Aaahhhhh! This is too hard! Um….I Need You, No More Dream, Agust D?-”

“No, no, no. Solos can’t count,” Jin chided. “You lose that one.”

“Dammit. How am I so bad at this?” Jimin ran his hands down his face with exasperation. “Namjoonie hyung I’ll stump you. Name all the different roommates I’ve had since I joined the company. Go!”

“What?! Um. Hoseok and Taehyung and then all of us, right? We all had beds in the same room,” Namjoon finished with a sly smile on his face.

“Wrong! A manager slept with us in that dorm, too, because no one trusted us!”

“Waaahhhh!” Namjoon screamed in exasperation. “Taehyungie’s turn. Touch every wall in this room. Go now!” They all watched as Taehyung ran as fast as he could to reach each wall in the fairly spacious waiting room. He touched the fourth wall just as Jungkook finished counting to six.

“Nailed it,” Tae said he as returned to their chairs panting slightly. “Okay, Yoongi hyung, beat me in a thumb war.” Yoongi surged across their makeshift circle to grab Taehyung’s hand. He heard Jungkook counting to seven behind him but focused his attention on securing Taehyung’s thumb with his own. Yoongi’s fingers were almost as long as Tae’s but not quite, and he thought for sure he was going to lose. Right before Jungkook hit seven, Tae carelessly lowered his thumb in premature celebration, only for Yoongi to trap it with his own.

“AAAHHH! Victory!” Yoongi yelled. “Take that,” he said while he jabbed his thumb into Taehyung’s arm repeatedly.

“You don’t have to rub it in!” Tae said with a barely restrained giggle. Yoongi continued his victory teasing by poking his thumb across Tae’s chest, on his throat a few times, softly, and then onto his face. When he reached Tae’s bottom lip, Yoongi stopped the jabbing motion and swept across the freshly-glossed skin with the pad of his finger.

“We’re ready for you,” a voice suddenly announced from the door. Yoongi was broken out of his apparent spell to see Tae looking at him with curious eyes. He pulled his hand back slowly with an awkward cough.

Jungkook looked down at his phone and announced Yoongi the winner with eight successful challenges. “You’re buying him dinner,” he said with yet another poke to Taehyung’s chest. Tae looked over at Yoongi with a grin.

Yoongi grabbed his jacket from his chair and left the waiting room just after hearing Tae say to the stylist, “I think I need a lip gloss touch-up.”

Yoongi couldn’t mistake the blush creeping onto his cheeks as he rubbed the pad of his now slightly pink, slightly sticky thumb on the side of his pants. They were probably expensive, and they probably shouldn’t have had lip gloss on them. But then again he was Taehyung’s hyung and group mate, and he probably shouldn’t have had the feeling of Tae’s smooth, plump lips playing on repeat in his mind.

***

“Rematch?”

They were, not surprisingly, waiting for the director to review their fifth take of the opening scene when Taehyung turned to Yoongi with his hand extended out in front of him.

Yoongi linked his hand with Tae’s so that both of their thumbs were facing each other. He tried not to think about how warm and big Tae’s hand felt in his own.

“1-2-3-4 I declare a thumb war” they said together to start the match. They both stared down in concentration at their thumbs dodging and darting around. Yoongi realized that his win was mostly a result of Tae letting his guard down considering how currently difficult it was to defeat the younger.

When in doubt, Yoongi cheated. He reached over with his left hand and began tickling Tae’s side.

“Hey! Not fair!” Tae yelled around a laugh so clear and pretty it forced a grin on Yoongi’s face as well.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yoongi said innocently.

Tae, never one to go down without a fight, used his own free hand to tickle lightly at Yoongi’s side. He knew the older was sensitive, so he didn’t apply a lot of pressure. Instead, he allowed the very tips of his fingers to dance along the seam of his shirt. Taehyung couldn’t see it, but goosebumps broke out across Yoongi’s entire torso.

“Okay. We’re ready to move on,” the director said suddenly through the sound system. Tae gave Yoongi one mischievous look before pulling on their still enclosed hands to bring Yoongi closer to him. He then used both hands to tickle Yoongi’s sides mercilessly.

“Ah! Ah! Stop! Uncle!” Yoongi gasped out around bouts of laughter he couldn’t hold back.

“Tell me you love me, and I’ll stop.”

“I currently hate you,” Yoongi said with an unsuccessful squirm to get out of Taehyung’s grasp. Yoongi could see the other members waiting for them to stop playing around so that they could continue. Fearful of the director yelling at them, he gave Tae what he wanted.

“Fine, fine. I love you exactly the way you are,” Yoongi choked out. With the last syllable Tae’s hands stilled.

Nothing was heard in the silence after Yoongi’s answer except his own ragged breathing. Yoongi peeked up at Tae to see the younger searching his eyes for something. An answer to a question Yoongi wasn’t sure he understood.

“Come on already,” Namjoon called.

Yoongi stood up from the crouched position Tae’s relentless hands molded him into and smoothed out his shirt. He could still feel the ghost of Tae’s fingers all over his skin.

***

As always, the music video shoot included filming the choreography in several different locations and outfits. Additionally, they filmed individual takes for each member’s lines as well as story-driven acting scenes that would eventually all be spliced together to create the full music video. Choreography was the most difficult part of the day to get through, so they always filmed that first to get it out of the way.

Yoongi was focused. These steps were etched into his muscle memory at this point and as long as he didn’t overthink anything, he would be okay. He hated being the member responsible for multiple, exhausting takes.

He got through the beginning of the routine fine. Yoongi executed the difficult spins with zero problem, and he was proud of himself for spacing his floor work--thrusting, really--perfectly.

In the final steps of the chorus right before the break, Yoongi felt his stomach twist in a nervous knot, a feeling absent when they practiced the full routine just yesterday. He stepped forward twice, as his muscles knew exactly to do, and although his eyes should have stayed trained on his fingers as they walked up Tae’s chest, something inside of Yoongi compelled his eyes upward to Tae’s face.

It was different this time. There wasn’t that electricity, that tension. Tae still looked at him like he was the only thing he wanted in the room, but that want wasn’t sexual. Yoongi thought it looked caring and adoring and sweet. All things he thought Kim Taehyung to be. But now Tae was giving all of that to him, and Yoongi felt overwhelmed with the warmth that originated in his chest and traveled outward to every inch of his body.

His hand reached Tae’s throat, and Yoongi buried his face in Tae’s shoulder while Hoseok guided him to the floor.

As they waited to hear feedback from the director for the first take, they stood together talking lightheartedly about the most impossible seven second challenge they could think of. All the while, Tae’s hand was wrapped around Yoongi’s waist, thumb kneading soft circles into his hip.

***

Dinner turned into breakfast. Shooting didn’t end until 7am the following morning and although Yoongi offered to take a raincheck on the meal Taehyung owed him, the younger insisted. So they went for breakfast.

Yoongi allowed Tae to pick the place, a small diner a few blocks from their dorm where the menu contained a plethora of fried foods Yoongi knew he shouldn’t eat here in the midst of a comeback, but his exhausted body craved it more than anything else.

“Get whatever you’d like, hyung, I’m paying,” Tae said with a satisfied grin.

“I know you are, Tae. You have to,” Yoongi said into his menu.

“But even if I didn’t, I would still pay.”

“No you wouldn’t. I’m the hyung.”

“Yes I would. You’re my date. I pay.” That made Yoongi look up from the egg dish he was thinking about ordering.

“Oh am I?” Yoongi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Mmhmm.”

“And when did you ask me out exactly?”

“Right now. Hyung, would you like to go out on a date with me?” Tae looked at Yoongi with eyes as kind as they always were. Yoongi didn’t think he was teasing him.

“Only if we go somewhere for breakfast. I’m starving,” Yoongi responded. He couldn’t stop the grin he knew looked too wide and too goofy from finding its place on his face.

Tae returned his grin with a smile that was perfectly wide and blindingly beautiful. “I know just the place. You’re going to love it.”

Yoongi looked back at his menu and had to physically bite his lip to prevent himself from smiling like an idiot while he read. Tae’s joke was silly, and maybe there was a time where he would have rolled his eyes, but now he had the distinct urge to kiss him? And bury his face in Tae’s neck? And pet his-

“What can I get you to drink?”

***

They filled the time it took for their food to come with discussions of how the shoot went, their hopes and worries for the album, how Taehyung felt about his drama. The conversation was comfortable and although Yoongi felt nervous every time Tae smiled at him, he thought not much seemed different. Maybe Tae was a genius by asking him out on a date once they were already on said date. He didn’t have time to get nervous or overthink anything.

“I’m happy it ended up being you who does the choking thing,” Tae said around a bite of eggs.

“Yeah? Why is that?” Yoongi already felt satiated just from the smell of the butter and starch wafting from his plate.

“I just don’t think I would have been able to take Jiminie seriously. You’re...serious.”

“Jimin is a pretty serious person. Especially when it comes to dancing,” Yoongi said. He didn’t quite understand what Tae meant.

Tae finished chewing his bite and put down his fork and knife to use his hands to help animate his words. “Yeah, but Jimin’s just...Jimin.” He gave a dismissive wave. “And you’re you.” Tae placed his hands on the table definitively.

“Okay…” Yoongi said.

“I guess what I mean is that I feel differently about you than I do the others. I think I always have.” Yoongi nodded silently and waited for Tae to go on. “I always wanted to impress you. I wanted you to like me.”

“I do like you,” Yoongi interrupted. He wasn’t sure if it was how pleasantly full he was or how slightly drunk the caffeine made him feel or how pretty Tae’s skin looked in this lighting, but the words left his mouth easily.

Tae smiled that smile Yoongi couldn’t believe he used to tease him for. “You were a serious music guy and I was just a kid who wanted to be an idol. I don’t know. I wanted you to take me seriously.”

“I trust you as a member of this team,” Yoongi started. “I haven’t even seen a single second of hwarang and I already know you’re an amazing actor.” The blush on Tae’s cheeks was evident at Yoongi’s praise. “You’re a damn good singer. Stigma is the best solo on this album, Taehyung, and I’m not just saying that. You’re a kid who wanted to be an idol who grew into a musician. An actor. A caring son, grandson, and friend.”

“Hyung.” Tae’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. This was probably more compliments than Yoongi had given him all year. All in the space of five minutes. Why the fuck did Yoongi think the rest of the world was giving Tae what he needed? Tae needed him, too.

“I do take you seriously. You’re a partner in all of this.” This time Yoongi used his hands to help explain his words. He motioned around at the diner that for them held their entire idol life. “I like actor, musician Taehyung and I like sultry stare, makes me feel like I do weirdly kind of want to choke him Taehyung.” That got Tae to laugh, loud and open. “And I like silly, playful Taehyung. I like all of you.”

“Well, that’s a relief, because I kind of don’t hate all of you, too,” Tae responded.

Yoongi chuckled at Tae’s unnecessarily convoluted way of confessing. The wording made him realize there was something he needed to ask.

“Tae, are you sure about this?”

“About what?”

“Me?”

“Hmmmm. I like when you compliment me. I like when you touch me. I like being with you,” he listed as if these were the most obvious truths known to man. “I don’t know what there is to be unsure about.”

Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows together and tried to word his worry in a way that wasn’t too self-deprecating. “I don’t know if I’m what you need,” he said softly.

“Don’t assume you know what I need, hyung. You treat me with respect and not a cute plaything. And I know when you do praise me you really mean it. Your passion, your drive, those are things I need. You make me a better man, Yoongi hyung.”

Yoongi looked down at his food with embarrassment as he felt a blush fan out over his cheeks. Tae had never said these kinds of things to him before. He couldn’t have at all thought that’s what the younger felt.

“And besides. I’m not asking you to marry me.”

“Oh? You’re not? That’s why I thought we were here. Customary breakfast before the proposal. I’m not going to find a ring at the bottom of my coffee cup?” Yoongi teased.

“You wish, Min Yoongi.” They both laughed. “Go on a date with me. A proper one.”

“It would be an honor.”

***

And that’s how Yoongi found himself just one week before Wings was to be released going fishing with Kim Taehyung.

“There’s a lake like thirty minutes away. It’s all old people who fish there so I don’t think we’d be seen,” Tae suggested one day while Yoongi was working in the studio.

“Where are we going to get fishing poles?” Yoongi asked skeptically.

“I keep a few in a locker by the lake. I go there sometimes.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Yoongi never thought to ask where Tae went on his days off, but fishing wouldn’t have been the answer he would have guessed. Somehow, now equipped with this fact, it seemed fitting.

He allowed Tae to control the music during the drive out of the city. Yoongi was happy to hear a far larger variety of music than he was used to choosing. Tae played everything from trap to trot to TT. He sang along enthusiastically, and Yoongi couldn’t help but to smile at how fun he managed to make what would have otherwise been a boring car ride.

They arrived shortly after stopping by a corner store for bait. Tae retrieved his fishing poles from the locker and led Yoongi to his favorite spot. They sat on the end of a long pier on the far side of the lake. Tae swore the best fish were here, and as Yoongi had zero fishing experience, he supposed he had no reason to argue.

“I’ve never done this before,” Yoongi confessed as Tae plopped down on the end of the peer and handed Yoongi his pole.

“A Daegu man who has never been fishing, who are you Min Yoongi?”

“A Daegu man who has never been fishing. Hello my name is Min Yoongi.”

Tae giggled. “Nice to meet you, you lame dork.”

“Shut up and show me.” Yoongi watched carefully as Tae baited the hook, making sure not to let the shiny glint of the tip of the hook show through. Luckily, the bobber was already threaded on the line, and the reel had a simple button mechanism rather than the more complex versions Yoongi remembered seeing in his grandfather’s house when he was a kid.

Tae baited his own hook and asked Yoongi to stand up so that he could watch how Tae cast out the line. “So you’re going to hold the button, lean the pole back so that the bait is hanging behind you, then flick your wrist forward and release the button to fling the line forward. The harder you flick your wrist, the farther it’ll go.”

“Got it,” Yoongi said confidently as he watched Tae’s bobber fly through the air.

“Okay. Your turn.” Yoongi followed Tae’s instructions. When the bait was dangling behind his shoulder, he snapped the rod forward with a flick of his wrist and released the button. The result was not quite the same. Instead of a bobber floating peacefully in the water, there was a bobber tangled around the end of his pole.

Tae couldn’t keep himself from laughing a bit at Yoongi’s expense.

“Yah! That was my first try!” Yoongi slapped him playfully as he sat the pole down on the pier for Tae to untangle. “What did I do wrong?”

“Probably the timing of the button release. Try timing it a little before your pole hits the highest point above your head.” Yoongi watched as Tae’s lithe fingers unknotted the line from the bobber. When Tae was finished, he didn’t hand the pole back to Yoongi but began to reel his own bobber back in from the water.

“Here. Why don’t we practice with mine and then if it gets tangled again you can just keep trying with yours while I fix this one,” Tae offered. Yoongi felt embarrassed by how much trouble he was being, but the majority of the blush on his cheeks was probably a result of Tae’s thoughtfulness.

Yoongi stood and held Taehyung’s pole over his shoulder. Tae stood behind him and placed one hand on Yoongi’s waist and the other on top of Yoongi’s hand holding the button on his fishing pole. His chest was warmly pressed to Yoongi’s back. When Tae spoke, he could feel his breath on his ear.

“Alright. Bring it back a little further. Good.” Tae squeezed his waist encouragingly. “Now snap forward and release when I say so.” With a whispered “now” into his ear, Tae helped Yoongi to cast his bait and bobber a satisfying enough distance away from the pier.

“Nice!” Tae said as he wrapped both arms around Yoongi’s waist and nuzzled his face in between Yoongi’s shoulder blades. Yoongi was pretty sure he had never felt so perfectly content.

“Thanks for your help,” he responded while placing his free hand on top of Tae’s arm.

“Mmmmmm,” Tae hummed into Yoongi’s shirt. “Of course.”

Once Tae’s pole was also cast into the water and Yoongi had been given a crash course on what to do if his bobber moved, they fell into easy conversation.

“Did you fish a lot when you were younger?”

“Mhm. There was a lake on my grandma’s farm. My grandpa taught me how to fish when I was six or seven.”

“And you still come here now?”

“Yeah. I come when I’m stressed or just need to think. It’s calming, isn’t it? Just the water and the rustling of the trees. I usually leave my phone in the car, so I only focus on the bobber and whatever is on my mind.” Yoongi needed to keep his eyes on the bobber, but he couldn’t help but look over at Taehyung. The setting sun hit the tops of his cheekbones causing his skin to glow, and his shoulders were relaxed.

“And what’s on your mind now?”

It was Tae’s turn to look at Yoongi. “How happy I am you’re here with me.” That look of adoration and unfaltering care was focused on him once again, and Yoongi wanted nothing more than to make Taehyung feel just as safe and wanted as Tae managed to make him feel. He wasn’t good with words, and his eye contact only seemed to get them in trouble, so Yoongi did what he maybe wanted to do for a long time.

Just as their lips touched, Tae must have felt the pole lying on the pier between them move because he was suddenly pulling away and saying, “Yoongi, snag!”

Yoongi frantically, from the bobber or the feeling of Tae’s smooth lips on his own he wasn’t sure, grabbed his fishing pool and sharply snagged the rod backward. The bobber continued to sink under the water, so Taehyung advised Yoongi to reel it in. He was met with enough resistance from the fish apparently stuck on the end of his hook to earn a few complaints from Yoongi and a giggle or two from Taehyung. When he finished reeling in the line, Yoongi and Tae marveled at a small, brown fish no bigger than Yoongi’s palm.

“That must have been really hard to reel in there, hyung,” Taehyung teased.

“Shut up.”

Yoongi watched in awe as Tae carefully pulled the fish off of the hook and released him back into the water. He didn’t really understand the point of fishing, but he liked doing it with Taehyung. He liked doing anything with Taehyung.

“Your first fish, hyung, how do you feel?” Tae said enthusiastically.

“Like I want to kiss you again,” Yoongi said with eyes fixed on Taehyung’s lips. The air between them shifted.

Tae didn’t argue and responded instead by moving closer to Yoongi, placing his hand on Yoongi’s cheek, and closing the gap between them.

He decided he would allow Tae’s pole to fall into the lake if his bobber attempted to interrupt them this time. Nothing could pull Yoongi away from the smooth glide of Tae’s lips against his own.

Taehyung’s kissing was exactly like his personality: a mix of earnest passion and playfulness. He made sure their lips were slotted together perfectly; he rubbed soothing circles on Yoongi’s cheek with his thumb. He also smiled against Yoongi’s mouth almost immediately, which made Yoongi smile, which resulted in them sitting there with faces pressed together both trying to close their lips around their teeth. They probably looked ridiculous, but Yoongi had never felt lighter, more perfectly content.

Tae pulled back for a quick second. He looked over every inch of Yoongi’s face; his smile never faltered.

“What?” Yoongi finally asked, afraid he had dirt on his face or something.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Tae said almost in a whisper. He brought both of his hands to cup Yoongi’s face and pulled the older forward. Right before their lips touched, Tae whispered against his mouth, “so fucking beautiful.”

***

They all sat in the practice room huddled around a laptop. This time, it was to make a reaction video for the Blood, Sweat & Tears music video. Yoongi sat next to Jin while Taehyung sat next to Jimin on the other side of the semicircle. They talked amongst themselves about watching it for the first time while a manager recorded them on a specially designated “bangtan bomb” camera.

Jimin hit play on their recently released music video, and they all watched on with playful commentary and easy laughter. Yoongi was impressed with the style of the video and the shots the director chose. They all looked sexy and confident.

Without his permission, Yoongi’s heart rate quickened as Tae’s verse came near. He wondered what their scene together would look like.

They heard the familiar “nareul budeureopge jugyeojwo.” Yoongi and Tae shared a glance and a smile as Jungkook and Namjoon’s individual acting scenes played rather than a shot of the choreography.

That moment of eye contact during filming, that moment when Yoongi first thought he saw love in Taehyung’s eyes, was theirs and theirs only.

***