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Shota’s hands were still shaking as he reached for his keys, doing his best to slot them into the keyhole of the dorm's front door. He knew full well what was awaiting him, the explanations he was going to have to give.
He had pulled his oversized hoodie and cargo pants on over the top of his Spider-Man suit, tucking the mask away inside his backpack. Jongseob was still making his way back, taking a longer route to avoid any suspicion.
They had talked long and hard about it, ultimately deciding it was best for Jongseob to maintain his secret identity as Ghost Spider for as long as he could, especially from their bandmates. So, he was going to go back to his own dorm first, changing out of his suit before coming to ‘interrogate’ Shota.
God, Kim Jongseob… His boyfriend. The title alone made Shota’s heart stutter around inside his chest. He was still barely able to process the unmasking, let alone the confession and kiss. He was still mentally going back through all of his memories of Ghost Spider, rewriting them and placing Jongseob under the mask and hood.
Shota shook the giddiness off, forcing himself to concentrate as he turned his key. He could freak out later. Right now, he had a lot more important things to face, and so he pushed the door open and stepped inside, bracing himself for noise, for his bandmates to start yelling and grabbing at him.
But, to his surprise, Shota was met with silence, the absence like a wall, a mass closing in around him.
He closed the door behind himself, blinking around the living room. Minus Jongseob, all of his bandmates were there, standing around silently. They looked stiff as they stared him up and down, considering him closely.
Shota cleared his throat, grabbing awkwardly at the straps of his bag. “Uh, hey guys…”
“Don’t ‘hey guys’ us,” Taeyang huffed, folding his arms across his chest. He was frowning, but he didn’t seem angry. Rather, his expression shone with worry, nervousness free flowing out from within him and washing across the small living room in waves.
Intak blinked slowly, taking a slow step forwards. “Is it all true? You’re really Spider-Man?”
It was a simple question, and yet Shota still felt his own words lodge in his throat. This wasn’t how he had expected his bandmates to find out, but it wasn’t like this, from a news report circling online. He would have preferred to say it himself, to make sure they knew he cared and that he didn’t keep it for the sake of lying to them.
(Well, if he was honest, Shota had never actually expected his bandmates to find out. He had never even considered it, never entertaining the thought for a second. Even after Keeho found out, he hadn’t taken that as a sign that it was possible. Suddenly, he felt a bit stupid for being so unprepared.)
“Yeah,” Shota admitted finally. His shoulders heaved in a deep sigh. “It’s true. I am Spider-Man.”
The words fell from his lips like weights, denting the floor and sending cracks spiralling outwards across the floor, wrapping around the support beams and making the entire building shudder. For a long moment, nobody said anything.
Then, Keeho clapped his hands together loudly, standing up from the chair he had collapsed down in and crossing over towards the superhero. “Well,” he declared, slinging an arm around Shota’s shoulders, “now that we’ve settled this, how about we get something for dinner? Take out? I vote burgers.”
Jiung rolled his eyes. “You’re trying to change the subject. Just because you already knew, doesn’t mean this is easy to process. Sit down, Steph.” Keeho huffed, retreating back to his chair in silent irritation. Jiung turned his gaze back towards the superhero. “How long have you had the spider powers? And how did you get them?”
Shota flexed his fingers around the bag straps, taking a few small steps towards his friends. Towards his family. “I was fifteen when I got them, so around June 2020,” he explained carefully. “I got bitten by a radioactive spider. It hurt, but it was mostly fine.”
Intak let out a long exhale, running a hand through his hair. “That was before debut. Hell, man, you’ve had these powers the whole time?”
Shota shrugged awkwardly. He wasn’t sure how else to reply.
“Keeho said he’s known for about two years now,” Taeyang said slowly. “So that means he found out in 2024. You had four years where no one else knew. Did you not feel like you could tell us, or…?”
And there it was, the question Shota knew he was going to get. The one he wasn’t sure if he could properly articulate if he tried. Still, he owed it to his bandmates to try. “It’s not about trust, not really. It’s more about safety. The more people that know, the more likely it is that my secret would get out.”
Jiung let out a low chuckle, the sound sharp and sarcastic. “Well, it’s out now, isn’t it? Your face is plastered on every billboard in the country - if not the world - and we had absolutely no warning. Did that ever even occur to you? What it would be like for us?”
“No,” Shota answered honestly. “I never considered this could happen, which was a mistake on my behalf. I’m sorry.” His head fell forward, a sudden lump of discomfort forming in his throat. His words escaped him, a wave of shame emanating through his body.
“All I wanted to do was help people,” Shota managed, his words soft and distant. “I wanted to make sure people were safe, to use the powers I had been given for the better. I never meant to hurt you. To hurt anyone. So for that, I’m sorry.”
“Give it a break, Jiung,” Keeho groaned, pushing himself back up to his feet. “He was doing his best. Whether he told you or not, he was doing the right thing for the right reasons. Anyone who hates him now is stupid.”
“That’s not what this is about and we both know it,” Jiung replied. Fire burned low in his eyes, his fingers twitching at his sides.
Keeho huffed out an irritated sound, taking a few bold steps forward. “What else even matters? You know now.”
“Your view is so tinted by the face you already knew. Can’t you look at this from our point of view?” Jiung growled, stepping forward to meet him. “And maybe if you can, stop being such an asshole while you’re at it.”
“Hey-!” Taeyang gasped in surprise.
There was another knock at the door, the sound cutting through the tension like a knife. Everything fell limp, still and tense as everyone turned to stare blankly at the dorm door.
Intak moved to open it, checking first through the peephole to see who it was. He relaxed almost immediately, yanking it open in one clean movement.
Jongseob appeared, shuffling into view as he slowly took in the state of his bandmates. His hair was a mess, bleached strands hanging limply around his face. He was changed now, dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, his hands pushed awkwardly into his pockets.
His eyes finally settled on Shota last, his throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly. He closed the door behind him, his gaze never leaving his now-boyfriend. “So, you’re Spider-Man.”
Shota forced himself to nod. He forced the redness away from his cheeks, trying to centre himself and not give anything away, to not show that this wasn’t their first time discussing this. “I am.”
“Then prove it.” Jongseob said it so simply, and yet the words caused Shota’s entire heart to slam to a stop in his chest. Jongseob folded his arms across his chest, his gaze daring as he watched Shota through his fringe. “C’mon. I want to see.”
The entire room felt like it was holding its breath, everyone’s attention now locked solely onto Shota. He heaved a heavy sigh, his shoulders falling dramatically. Then, with careful determination, Shota raised one of his arms up above his head. He held his fingers out, his palm flat and waiting.
It took barely any effort for Shota to launch himself into the air, to sail upwards until each of his fingertips came into contact with the smooth white ceiling. He hung there awkwardly, suspended in the air as his fingers adhered effortlessly. He was used to it by now, his powers second nature.
“Woah…” Intak breathed, his eyes widening into saucers. Jiung and Taeyang’s jaws dropped, both of them speechless as they watched on. Keeho barely reacted, unfazed by the display. His attention flickered back across the room, taking in the other’s reactions.
And Jongseob… Jongseob’s eyes filled with tears. Even he seemed surprised by it, blinking quickly and tilting his head away.
Shota dropped from the ceiling in a second, taking a hesitant step towards him. “Jongseobie…?”
Jongseob shook his head, sniffling softly as he covered his face with his palm. Shota wanted nothing more than to reach out, to take his boyfriend in his arms, but he kept his distance, respecting Jongseob’s wishes.
Slowly, Jongseob wiped away his tears, tipping his head back and fanning at his wet eyes. “Fuck,” he sighed. “Sorry, I…” He let out an irritated sound. Instead of trying again, he gave up, closing the distance between Shota and himself, pulling the hero into his arms.
The hug only lasted a moment before Jongseob was pulling away again. His expression was pulled into a look of determination, his words only slightly unsteady as he spoke. “Spider-Man has been on the news for years. Videos of him getting attacked, of him giving his all just to try and make the world a slightly better place.
“He’s an inspiration, someone who a lot of people look up to. Someone who I look up to. He’s ‘Spider-Man’, this untouchable hero everyone kind of took for granted. I know I’m speaking for a lot of people when I say we never considered what kind of life Spider-Man might have outside of his job.
“I never considered he could be an idol. I never considered he could be… you.” Jongseob swallowed, gesturing around the room. “I don’t think any of us did. But, that doesn’t change anything, not for me. Spider-Man is a role model, and now I can say he’s one I’m lucky enough to know personally. So, superhero or idol, I will always support you, Haku Shota.”
Shota’s eyes burned around the edges, his mind suddenly filled with a single memory. It stood out to him in that moment, flooding his senses and forcing him to remember.
“Do you think people will like me when we debut?”
It was a question Shota had had for a while now. He was sitting in the corner of the practice room, the mirror cold against his back and his eyes red from crying. His knees were pulled up to his chest, his arms looped around them carefully.
Jongseob sat beside him, picking absently at a loose seam on his pants.
“Why do you ask that?”
It was a question Shota couldn’t answer immediately. He just shrugged, swallowing back the words, ‘because I’m weird’.
“If we have fans who don’t like you, then they aren’t fans that I will accept,” Jongseob said. He glanced sideways at Shota, his lips pulling up at the edges. “Because you, Haku Shota, are the most wonderful person I have ever met. Anyone who can’t see that is blind.”
That was the first time Jongseob made Shota’s heart flutter.
That was just over six years ago now, but it still felt like yesterday. It had only been a few days before the spider bite, before Shota’s entire life had changed.
When it happened, he considered going to Jongseob, telling him what had happened and going through everything side by side. Instead, he kept his powers to himself, an irrational fear pulling him back every time he opened his mouth.
Now, Shota found himself wrapped in that same fear, a kind of cocoon he had designed himself. Now, he suddenly felt something he had never felt before: the urge to be free.
Shota stepped forward silently, one of his hands moving to cup Jongseob’s cheek. He moved quickly enough that no one could anticipate his movements, but slowly enough that Jongseob could step away if he wasn’t ready.
But Jongseob didn’t move away. Instead, his fingers gripped the sides of Shota’s hoodie, curling into the fabric. Shota pressed forward, slotting their lips together in a careful kiss.
He could feel his bandmates reacting, but in that moment, he found himself no longer caring. He was breaking out from the cocoon he had trapped himself in, slowly and surely even after all of this time.
A fuzzy feeling flickered through Shota’s mind, his senses locking immediately onto an incoming threat. His ‘spider-sense’, as he had come to call it, tingled, guiding him as his arm snapped up beside him.
Something hit his palm, his fingers closing easily around it. Shota broke the kiss, turning to stare at the object he had caught. It was a slipper.
Just beyond it, Shota could see a frowning Taeyang. “Yah!” the oldest growled, already reaching for his other slipper. “Stop snogging in the middle of the living room! We’re trying to have a serious conversation!” Jongseob was bright red, shrinking in on himself and shuffling away from Shota.
Somewhere, outside the window, up in the skies above the city, the distant rumble of a helicopter circling above them. Shota flinched, his eyes darting over towards the window. Even from up high on the building’s fifth floor, they could hear the distant chatter of people from the street below. It made his skin crawl.
Keeho sighed, folding his arms across his chest. “As much as that was cute, but also kind of gross, Taeyang is right. We have a lot left to discuss.”
Intak swallowed, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. “What happens now?” he asked no one in particular. “What happens to P1Harmony?”
“Nothing,” Shota said simply. He tore his eyes away from the window, glancing between each of his bandmates. “Nothing changes. Nothing happens. Spider-Man has never interfered with group activities before, and I’ll make sure it stays that way. The city needs me, but so do P1ece. Nothing changes.”
Jiung nodded stiffly, wringing his hands together. “Okay. Nothing changes.” He pursed his lips, his expression twisting for a moment like he had eaten something disgusting. “We just now have to share the stage with the real Spider-Man. Yeah, no pressure at all.”
Taeyang snorted, shaking his head. “You’re gonna be the most biased now, aren’t you?”
A small smile pulled at the edges of Shota’s lips. “Of course I will. I’m Spider-Man!”
Laughter rippled through the room, a soft sound that brought a kind of lightness washing over Shota. Slowly, the aching in his chest started to lessen, a thin layer of hope wrapping back around him. That was a cocoon he could exist in; not alone, but together with his five bandmates.
The world knew Haku Shota was Spider-Man, but that wasn’t about to change anything. He could be Spider-Man and Soul of P1Harmony. Who said he had to choose?