Work Text:
Edward Elric had agreed to many terrible ideas in his life.
Human transmutation. Joining the military at twelve. Listening to anything Roy Mustang said without immediately assuming there was a hidden agenda.
But this—
“This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever asked me to do.”
Roy adjusted his cufflinks without looking up. “That seems statistically unlikely.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“That makes it worse!”
Edward stood in the middle of Roy’s apartment, dressed in a black suit that had apparently been chosen specifically to make breathing optional.
Roy had insisted.
Apparently, if Edward was going to accompany him to one of Central’s most insufferable military galas, he had to look presentable.
Edward had responded by threatening to break Roy’s nose.
Roy had smiled and handed him the suit.
And somehow that had led here.
“You said you needed a date,” Edward reminded him.
“I do.”
“A fake date.”
“Yes.”
“Because General Raven keeps trying to introduce you to his niece.”
“Yes.”
“And your solution was me?”
Roy finally looked at him.
His gaze traveled slowly from Edward’s polished shoes to the blond hair tied neatly at the base of his neck. Something unreadable flickered across his face before the familiar smirk returned.
“You clean up surprisingly well, Fullmetal.”
Edward’s face immediately heated.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m complimenting you.”
“You’re being weird.”
“Perhaps you simply don’t know how to accept compliments.”
“I accept compliments just fine!”
“When?”
“When people who aren’t assholes give them to me.”
Roy sighed. “How fortunate that tonight we’re pretending you like me.”
Edward folded his arms. “I never agreed to like you.”
“We’re dating.”
“Fake dating.”
“People generally assume couples like each other.”
“Then this plan is already doomed.”
Roy’s smile widened.
Edward hated that smile.
Mostly because, lately, he had started noticing exactly how handsome Roy looked when he wore it.
Which was a problem.
A huge problem.
A problem Edward intended to ignore until it died of neglect.
“Come here,” Roy said.
Edward narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“Practice.”
“For what?”
Roy stepped closer.
Too close.
Edward instinctively leaned backward.
Roy raised an eyebrow. “That.”
“What?”
“If I stand within three feet of you and you react as though I’ve drawn a weapon, no one will believe we’re together.”
“I always react like that when you come near me.”
“Yes. Another flaw in our performance.”
Roy held out his hand.
Edward stared at it.
Then at him.
“No.”
“Edward.”
“No.”
“We may have to dance tonight.”
Edward looked horrified.
“I’m leaving.”
Roy caught his wrist before he could turn away.
Edward froze.
Roy did too.
For one strange second, neither of them moved.
Roy’s fingers were warm. Edward could feel his pulse beneath them.
Too fast.
Definitely too fast.
Roy’s expression softened.
“Just one dance.”
Edward swallowed. “You step on my foot, I’m breaking yours.”
“A charming boyfriend.”
“Shut up.”
Roy placed Edward’s hand on his shoulder. Then his own settled carefully at Edward’s waist.
Edward forgot every insult he had ever learned.
Roy was warm.
Closer than Edward had expected.
Close enough that Edward could smell his cologne. Close enough that when Roy looked down at him, Edward suddenly became extremely aware of the difference in their height.
“Something wrong?” Roy murmured.
“No.”
“You’re red.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“There he is.”
Edward kicked him in the shin.
The gala was worse than Edward had imagined.
Crystal chandeliers. Champagne. Generals pretending they hadn’t spent the afternoon yelling at subordinates. Politicians pretending they understood military affairs.
And approximately seven thousand people Edward wanted to punch.
Roy, naturally, looked perfectly comfortable.
His hand rested against Edward’s lower back as they entered the ballroom.
Edward nearly jumped.
“Relax,” Roy whispered.
“I am relaxed.”
“You’re walking like you swallowed a broom.”
“Your hand is on me.”
“That is generally permitted when dating someone.”
“Fake dating.”
Roy leaned closer. “You keep saying that rather loudly.”
Edward glared at him.
Then General Raven appeared.
“Mustang!”
Roy’s entire posture changed. His smile became charming, and his hand slid from Edward’s back to his waist.
Edward’s brain stopped working.
“General.”
Raven looked between them.
Then blinked.
“Elric?”
Edward smiled with every ounce of false sweetness he possessed. “General.”
“I wasn’t aware you two were…”
“Together?” Roy supplied.
“Yes.”
Roy pulled Edward slightly closer until Edward’s shoulder pressed against his chest.
“Several months now.”
Edward almost choked.
Several months?!
Roy squeezed his waist.
Play along.
Edward wanted to murder him.
Instead, he rested his head against Roy’s shoulder.
Roy went very still.
“Roy is terribly private,” Edward said.
Raven stared.
Edward smiled wider.
“He gets embarrassed.”
Roy’s fingers tightened against his side.
Revenge.
Beautiful revenge.
“I see,” Raven said slowly.
“Edward,” Roy said through a smile, “darling.”
Edward nearly lost consciousness.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
Roy’s eye twitched.
Raven excused himself approximately twenty seconds later.
The moment he disappeared, Edward shoved Roy away.
“Several months?!”
“You called me sweetheart.”
“You called me darling!”
“You started it.”
“You grabbed my waist!”
“We’re supposed to be dating!”
“Fake dating!”
Someone nearby glanced toward them.
Roy immediately stepped closer again.
“Dance with me.”
“What?”
“Now.”
Before Edward could protest, Roy took his hand and guided him onto the dance floor.
“Mustang—”
“Smile.”
“I am smiling.”
“You look constipated.”
“I hate you.”
“Yes, you’ve mentioned that.”
Roy’s hand settled against his waist again.
This time Edward didn’t flinch.
That somehow felt worse.
They moved slowly among the other couples.
Edward had expected Roy to tease him.
Instead, Roy was quiet.
His thumb brushed absently against Edward’s side.
Once.
Twice.
Edward’s heart betrayed him completely.
“You’re staring,” Roy said.
“So are you.”
Roy didn’t deny it.
The music continued around them, and suddenly the crowded ballroom felt very far away.
Edward swallowed.
“This is weird.”
“Yes.”
“You’re supposed to make fun of me.”
“I considered it.”
“And?”
Roy looked at him.
Really looked at him.
And Edward wished desperately that he hadn’t asked.
“You look beautiful tonight.”
Edward missed a step.
Roy caught him.
“Careful.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious.”
“That’s worse.”
Roy laughed softly.
Edward stared at his chest because looking at his face had become impossible.
“This is fake,” Edward whispered.
The words came out quieter than intended.
Roy’s smile disappeared.
“I know.”
Edward hated the disappointment in his voice.
Because it sounded exactly like the disappointment sitting heavily in Edward’s chest.
The song ended.
Neither moved.
Around them, couples separated. Applause filled the room.
Roy still held Edward’s hand.
Edward still had one hand against Roy’s shoulder.
“This was a bad idea,” Edward said.
“Probably.”
“We should stop.”
“Yes.”
Neither moved.
Edward finally looked up.
Roy was staring at his mouth.
Oh.
Oh.
“Roy?”
That did it.
Roy’s eyes snapped back to his.
Edward realized too late that he had used his first name.
Something changed between them.
Something terrifying.
Something warm.
Roy slowly lifted one hand. His fingers brushed a loose strand of blond hair away from Edward’s face.
“You should tell me to stop.”
Edward’s breath caught.
“I should.”
Roy waited.
Edward didn’t say it.
Instead, he grabbed Roy’s tie and pulled him down.
The kiss was supposed to be quick.
A mistake.
Something they could blame on champagne, adrenaline, or the absurdity of the evening.
It wasn’t.
Roy made a startled sound against Edward’s mouth before his hand returned to Edward’s waist.
Edward kissed him harder.
Roy responded immediately.
Warm.
Careful.
Then decidedly less careful when Edward’s fingers curled into his jacket.
When they finally separated, Edward was breathing hard.
Roy looked equally stunned.
“That,” Roy said softly, “wasn’t very fake.”
Edward’s face burned.
“Shut up.”
Roy smiled.
Not the Colonel Mustang smile.
Not the arrogant bastard smile.
Something smaller.
Softer.
Edward had never seen it before.
He wanted to see it again.
“So,” Roy murmured, “how committed are we to maintaining the authenticity of our cover?”
Edward stared at him.
“You’re asking if you can kiss me again.”
“I was attempting subtlety.”
“You suck at it.”
“I’ll take that as permission.”
“You shouldn’t.”
Roy leaned closer.
Edward didn’t move away.
“Edward.”
“What?”
“Tell me to stop.”
Edward looked at his mouth.
Then into his eyes.
His heart was hammering.
This was ridiculous.
Roy Mustang was ridiculous.
Edward was going to regret this.
Probably.
Eventually.
Maybe.
Instead, he pulled Roy down again.
“Just for tonight,” Edward whispered.
Roy smiled against his lips.
“Of course.”
Edward kissed him.
And neither of them believed that for a second.