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Love wasn't black and white but nothing was when you're a high school student.
Malia Tate had assumed she was deeply in love with Stiles because he made her heart skip a beat when he entered the room. The human was goofy, wild, and intelligent. He always was the one who could solve a problem when the entire pack found it to be impossible to even comprehend. He wasn't superhuman. Stiles had plenty of flaws that she could underline with a black marker when asked to.
He was painfully human, and that's what she needed in her life. Like PB&J, the two of them developed a friendship that would make anyone envious. Dating came easily with Stiles kissing her, her touching him, and then things sped up to lead them to take one another's virginity. That had been an embarrassing debacle, with Malia feeling like a fish out of water the entire ten minutes and Stiles nervously laughing.
She really loved the way he treated her, and in turn she treated him the best she could, with the gaps she had in her head due to those years as an animal. They worked great together, and they were happy. So happy, it confused her that things weren't working.
Malia felt a nagging feeling in the back of her mind lately when they were alone that something was missing. That they both wanted to say the words "break up," but neither had the nerve to actually utter the words.
This assumption became a full-blown truth when she saw her boyfriend and her cousin together. Derek was a tough cookie to swallow. Pretty emotionally incompetent and averse to empathy in a way that made even her feel like the world's most sensitive woman alive.
That wall he built up softened when Stiles was near. They were the two pieces that snapped together and were meant to be. Malia wondered if she should be angry at Derek for that, for stealing Stiles away. Weirdly, she couldn't see it like that for longer than that initial night witnessing them laughing and cuddling together.
Stiles wasn't her property, and she already had one foot out of the door without desiring another man. They were good friends in and out of their relationship, so maybe the best course of action was just that. Being friends who happened to have tried to date once upon a time and broke up amicably. She wasn't upset, and she felt no urge to break down over the discovery.
Malia was so calm about it. She ended up just walking up to the human one afternoon and asking him plainly. "Do you have feelings for Derek?"
The teenager froze, his eyes widening with panic as he tried to avoid her gaze. The werecoyote hummed and patted his hand as she soothed him. "I'm not mad at you, Stiles. If you have a crush on him, I'm alright with it. We can always stay friends."
"I'm not cheating on you." And she knew that to be a fact.
While what Stiles was feeling could count as emotional infidelity, she knew he would never have an affair with Derek or even think of doing so. "I know that, but your eyes light up whenever he texts you, and when you two hang out, you're so happy."
"I don't think I can make you that happy. At least as your girlfriend." Malia confessed her own truth, with the heaviness of her guilt making her stumble and frown.
It was hard to outright tell her boyfriend that she felt her feelings towards him dissipate more and more as the weeks went on. Stiles was still her person, but he wasn't that person anymore.
He was her close friend but not the boy she would burn the world down for, and she could see that he probably guessed it by the way he teared up. Seeing him get emotional about her rejection, her seemingly indifferent attitude hurt. She had so much to say, but saying even a tiny bit was difficult.
"So," Stiles laughed awkwardly and rubbed at his eyes. "We both wanted to break up, but we've been too scared to say it."
"It feels like it's supposed to be more dramatic. Like I'm supposed to yell at you for liking Derek and you're supposed to snap back that I stopped caring first." Malia mused with a small grin.
He shook his head and held her hand tightly. "You care, Malia. I can tell."
He closed his eyes and spoke in a whisper, as if saying these thoughts out loud finally was too daunting for him. "I think we jumped the gun a bit by dating so fast."
A part of her was a bit sour about his word choice but she knew he was correct. They had a connection that was real. Both of them were close in so many ways, but also she felt like they were strangers sometimes. Like Stiles deserved better, and she could see he felt that she did too.
Her feelings for him were too complex to describe in great detail, but she knew that being his girlfriend wasn't the title for her. At least, then. Malia was confident that in time she would know for sure if she still desired him or if being friends was the proper choice.
"So, you're alright with us being friends from now on?" She asked softly.
Stiles nodded, though he still appeared to be incredibly conflicted. "What does 'just friends' mean for us?"
She sat on the question as they were intimate as recently as the day before. Malia was fine with a benefits deal if that was easier for them to untangle themselves. They had been together for nearly a year, and this discussion was making them both feel all sorts of emotions.
She loved the way Stiles held her in his arms and the way he kissed her forehead when they were done. He told her in the past that the way she reassured him and took charge made him feel safer than he ever had before. If they could still do that as friends, even if it was just to get it out of their system, it was fine.
"We can still be affectionate, and we can still do our thing. But if you ever pursue Derek or I find someone else, we should just be platonic." She summarized after a long period of silence.
Stiles nodded and got up to hug her. She could feel his body relax as the breakup was gentle instead of stern. The human had been expecting cruelty, which stung but she knew holding a grudge was pointless.
Malia understood how much guilt he must have balled up inside about catching feelings for someone else while being with her. Emotions were hard to categorize, and she couldn't hate him for falling for Derek. Those two had a type of relationship that she maybe never would, and she had accepted it long ago.
She would support them getting together if it ever came down to that. As she knew Stiles would support her whenever she decided to go after whoever caught her attention next. There was no malice between them, and instead it was a mutual understanding that feelings fade.
It was natural to be someone's person one moment, then a memory the next. What mattered the most was that they weren't cursing each other out and instead were hugging as they discussed what to do next. As they parted from holding each other, she could see the relief in his eyes and feel the weight in her chest finally lift. They weren't going to be a couple anymore, but they would be alright. And that's all that mattered.
