Work Text:
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
I’m going to be younger than my twin brother one day.
For some unknown reason, that thought had been replaying itself over and over in Yuichiro’s mind. He was completely taken aback by the strange thought, as how could he ever be younger than his twin brother? Yuichiro was even born before Muichiro, so isn’t it impossible for him to be younger than him?
Days had passed by now and that dreadful thought would not escape him, and then his family began to worry for him. They would watch from a distance as Yuichiro would spend hours a day mulling over this strange thought, gazing up at the sky as he did so.
How could I possibly be younger than Mui?
As Yuichiro pondered over his endless questions regarding the thought he stared up at the clouds, hunting down the little shapes hidden among the fluffy masses. Yuichiro and Muichiro both enjoyed cloud gazing, though Yuichiro often did it to focus whereas Muichiro did it for fun. After minutes or hours of thinking, (he was unsure of how long he sat under the sky’s gaze as he often lost track of time when gazing at clouds), he felt a little tap on his shoulder.
As Yuichiro snapped out of his stupor from the gentle tap, he looked up to see his dear Father’s eyes who was departing to go look for some herbs. His Father’s eyes were so objectively beautiful, a marvelous shade of fuschia that no one, not even the most judgemental could say otherwise. They much resembled the finest wine ever brewed and Yuichiro along with anyone else could be lost in them for so long, because they were absolutely mesmerizing, like infinite shades of roses merged into one. Yuichiro was sure that no one could ever forget something as enthralling as those shining eyes.
Yuichiro’s Father was going to look for the herbs that the Tokito family has been in desperate need of, specifically herbs for Yuichiro’s ailing Mother, to save her from her illness that has overtaken her once lively life. His Mother was once a beacon of kindness that worked hard everyday to bring light to their lives, but she overworked herself when she fell ill, much to the dismay of Yuichiro. Ever since then, the Tokito family has been in need of a lot of things, new clothes for him and his twin, herbs and medicine, along with the basic necessities for survival.
His Father grasped his shoulder gently, looking down with adoration in his wine-colored eyes, “Heya kid, I’m going to get that plant to save your mom alright? I’ll be back before sundown, but before then make sure to take care of Mui and your mom, okay?” As his Father said this he smiled a bright beautiful smile before he turned towards the forest and sprinted away to hunt for that elusive plant.
The feeling of a deep-seated dread unnatural to him had suddenly encompassed Yuichiro. He thought that this might be the last time he would ever see his father with those magical eyes still open–but how could that be so? Father was going to return before sundown, yes? But still, he could not shake the despair that had filled every cell of his body.
“Wait! Look at the clouds! It looks like a storm! Don’t go tonight!” Yuichiro called out and begged his Father but his Father did not heed his warning, he simply turned around and called out a simple response.
“I know it will storm! But if not tonight your Mother may die! I must be willing to risk myself to save her! But it will be alright!” That was the brief response Yuichiro’s Father left him before he ran off again.
Yuichiro pleaded with his Father’s fading form once more but alas he was too far away. Watching his father’s silhouette fade from view, Yuichiro’s only option was to return inside to help care for his ailing mother.
As Yuichiro stepped inside of his home he took note of his twin–Muichiro, lying over their mother’s vulnerable form in a desperate attempt to warm her up. The illness had developed after their kind-hearted Mother had suffered from a cold, the illness ramping up in severity after she overworked herself everyday to care for her family.
Yuichiro crouched next to his mother as she shook from the overwhelming bouts of hot and cold, letting Muichiro lean on him as Yuichiro took over the duty of caring for their mother. Muichiro gently combed through his brother's soft hair, relaxing on his shoulder.
Muichiro eventually removed his head off Yuichiro’s shoulder, looking up at his brother with a fearful look, “Yui… do you know when Father’s coming home? Mother, she’s so cold, I already laid my blanket on her and she’s still freezing!” His voice trembled on every word and he occasionally had to pause to wipe gathering tears.
Yuichiro frowned at his worried tone and tears, “We have to take care of her until he comes back, our father entrusted us with this duty.” Yuichiro said simply with only a slight hint of sadness, squeezing his twin’s hand to comfort him.
Muichiro pressed his hand to his Mother’s forehead, crying at how feverish she felt. Seeing this, Yuichiro tried to comfort him by letting Muchiro’s head fall onto his shoulder. It continued like this for a while before Muichiro ended up falling asleep on his brother, Yuichiro, frowning at his twin, picked him up and laid him on his futon while he took over the effort of caring for their Mother. He continued to try to singlehandedly ward off his Mother’s illness to allow for his brother to rest.
Yuichiro desperately wanted to curl up next to him like they had done so when they were children, but one glance at his mother reminded him of the duty his Father had given him. To be selfless and to take care of his family in his Father’s stead.
What strange concepts, but to be selfless and altruistic did not seem too bad–at least for the time being.
BANG
A flash tore Yuichiro out of his thoughts and dumped him back into reality where a storm raged on outside his house. The rain poured out of the sky, drenching the forest, while the cracks of thunder came intermittently. Flashes tore through the house, blinding Yuichiro as Muichiro groggily sat up.
“Yuichiro… is Father home yet? Mother… she doesn’t look so good.” Muichiro asked with a nervous look, his voice beginning to shake once more.
Father.
Damn it. Father won’t make it back and he mentioned days before that the plant was located near a ledge.
He’ll be okay right?
“Yeah, put more trust in the old man! He’ll be back in any second now. We should keep taking care of Mother so when he comes back everything will be alright!” Yuichiro tried his best to reassure his brother, but even he could discern the lies in his words, but even so, Yuichiro gently placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
Muichiro nodded, determination lighting up his face, “Yes, you’re right! When Father comes back home, it will all be alright!” Muichiro returned to caring for their mother, piling whatever fabric he could find on her in a desperate attempt to warm her up while also replacing the cold towel on her forehead.
Yuichiro nodded at his brother, going over to the kitchen to prepare food, “I’ll make food for us! Take care of mother so when Father comes back it will be all okay, alright?” He turned his head away, getting ready to chop and prepare the ingredients.
Yuichiro stood up and started preparing the furofuki daikon as Muichiro tended to their mother. Muichiro could feel her temperature begin to rise and her breaths weaken so Muichiro dedicated himself even further to helping her. But no one in that house was medically trained, far from it in fact, so they could never be sure if what they were doing would actually help her.
Yuichiro glanced over as Muiciro kept on helping their Mother but he felt some odd despair–as if all this help was futile. That his brother would not be helpful at all and that his mother would succumb to the illness no matter how much love was poured into her care. Yuichiro shook his head to try to shake his pessimistic thoughts..
Will our help and care amount to anything?
The small family ate the furofuki daikon once it was finished, though it lacked that flavor it used to have when their mother made it, it still felt reminiscent of home. Muichiro slowly chowed down on his favorite, lacking his usual happiness, as Yuichiro was still watching the raging storm clouds. As the evening progressed the storm showed no sign of letting up and continued on, far worse than early in the evening. After dinner, Muichiro and Yuichiro agreed that Muichiro would rest first and Yuichiro would continue to care for their mother.
Muichiro laid down on the futon, tossing and turning, his struggle to fall asleep obvious. Muichiro struggled to rest, and his struggle only increased when he saw Yuichiro caring for their ailing mother.
No! Father has to come back or she’ll die soon!
Yuichiro continued to care for her, his hands desperately moving, grasping at her last bits of life. But, nothing worked and she simply smiled up at him, and began to bestow upon him an important duty. He stared at his Mother’s ocean blue eyes that seemed to contain the entire seas and skies in them and they shone with lucidity for the first time in weeks.
“Please, son, I love you so and I’m so happy I was able to be the mother of you and your brother. Will you please take care of him and your father when I’m gone?” She cupped Yuichiro’s face with all her remaining strength, and when she eventually closed her eyes that resembled the sky her hand fell down limply resting by her side.
Yuichiro prayed his father would return home soon.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
That very moment, his father was reaching out towards those herbs resting on the hill, and he could feel the stems in the tips of his fingers, but standing on that slippery ledge in the rain, the ground crumbled.
That night, their mother also succumbed to her illness and their father never showed up–lost to the storm.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
When the twins went to go find some flowers for their mother’s grave, they also found their father, lying at the base of a cliff.
The twins worked to heave his broken and battered body to a nice spot under the sun, careful not to jostle him too much. The spot they chose to bury their parents in was a small grove of trees near their cabin. Soft, dappled, golden light could filter through the leaves and could shroud their resting spots in warmth. It was really beautiful, Yuichiro wished that they could see it for themselves.
But they had to dig.
They used their hands to claw at the dirt, digging with such ferocity like it’d bring back their parents, clawing until they could make a shallow hole that they could lay their parents in.
It won't do.
The hole isn’t deep enough, they won’t rest well in this subpar thing. Damn it.
Yuichiro dug deeper, deeper until his hands were stained with so much dirt that the grime under his nails was unending. The dirt permeated into his soul, his essence, stuck in the grooves of his skin, it was a perfect reminder of those he had failed to save.
No matter how much he scratched at his skin, it was stuck there, engraved into him, branded on his skin. It was permanently under his nails, no matter how much he dug under there, it remained. Even if he scrubbed with all the might he could muster, it stained his soul and his hope.
The reminder of his parents' death stayed with him for weeks after burying them.
After burying their parents, the twins focused on heaving rocks to work as a headstone for their loved ones. Following a few days of arduous work, mainly consisting of digging graves and lifting stones, they were complete.
Although their parent’s graves were simple, they were beautiful with the lambent, golden light from the sky which cast a beautiful glow all over the clearing. The rocks they picked out were of medium size, and they also picked out smaller stones to surround each grave, every stone was smooth and warm from the gentle sun.
Flowers began to slowly bloom over where their corpses were buried, small flowers that were blue, pink or white that grew in small clusters flourished around those stones. The flowers sprouted up in the cracks between the stones, in front of the graves and all around that clearing they had picked, as if their parents were there in some flowery way. Yuichiro knew that for as long as he lived, he would never forget his parent’s stupid, selfless, altruistic sacrifice. His Mother’s sacrifice ended up being her health and then her life, and his Father’s was his life.
They were idiots, Yuichiro thought.
Yuichiro knew that the rest of his family were kind and compassionate, just like his twin brother, they all had hearts of gold that shone brighter than any star. But Yuichiro wasn’t like them, he was cold, skeptical and uncaring, he really wasn't like the rest of them. And after seeing what happened to his caring, compassionate, kind parents, Yuichiro knew that he had to be right. Yuichiro knew he would never sacrifice himself for someone, but for one person Yuichiro was unsure.
For that person alone, he was sure he would do anything. That person was an infinite amount of compassion, kindness, all mixed into one person. He alone was the opposite of everything Yuichiro believed and stood for.
In fact, his brother probably was just as selfless as his parents, maybe even more so. Yuichiro knew that being selfless, and sacrificing yourself for someone was a waste, because that person would probably end up dead anyway. Just like Mother and Father. His Father’s death was a waste and his stupid choice to go find that stupid plant ended up with both his parents dead. Maybe if his Father wasn’t so selfless both of his parents wouldn't be dead and he and Muichiro wouldn’t be digging graves with their bare hands. Maybe, maybe, just maybe if he could prevent his brother from going down the foolish path of selflessness, Yuichiro could save him from his fate.
Yes, that is what Yuichiro is going to do, that is how he will save his foolish brother from his inevitable death. With this new idea, Yuichiro curled his fists, letting his nails dig into his skin as he watched his brother collect water by the river.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Muichiro was crouched by the river’s edge, gently lowering the wooden bucket into the cold water. After collecting water, Muichiro looked up and saw a beautiful white birch spirit standing across the river. He was mesmerized by the beauty of the spirit, she had ash white hair and beautiful purple eyes, eyes almost as striking as two people he once knew. Muichiro shook his head to rid himself of his sad thoughts and looked up to see the forest spirit walk closer. Now Muichiro was nervous, he wasn’t sure on the proper etiquette to speak to forest spirits.
The white birch spirit crossed the river, now standing in front of Muichiro, unsure of what to do, Muichiro bowed. Seeing this, the white birch spirit chuckled, lifting Muichiro’s head.
“Hello, I have an offer for you and your brother. May I come in?” The spirit asked with a kind smile, gesturing to Muichiro and Yuichiro’s cottage
“Yes, you can Miss. White Birch Spirit!” Muichiro exclaimed as he led the spirit up the path to their cottage. He skipped along the path happily, turning around to look at the spirit, to his shock, he saw that the spirit was… laughing! The kind spirit was covering their mouth with their hat pulled over the upper half of their face.
“Wha- Why are you laughing White Birch Spirit?” Muichiro sputtered out, looking utterly confused at why the spirit could possibly be laughing. Muichiro hoped that he hadn’t accidentally offended the spirit. Meanwhile the White Birch Spirit was attempting to compose themselves, although they began to laugh even more.
“My child, I think you are confused! I am no spirit, my name is Amane Ubayashiki, but please call me Lady Amane!” The Lady smiled as she said this, continuing to lead on the conversation as they walked back to the cottage. As the two talked, Muichiro was informed of part of the offer that the Lady Amane was about to offer to the two of them.
“Muichiro. Where have you been, and who is this stranger?!” That’s all Yuichiro said as a greeting, but Muichiro hoped he would say more to greet the kind lady. He's been worried for his big brother for months now, especially after their death, and recently Yui’s been spaced out a lot. Muichiro wondered what his brother could be thinking of in that smart head of his, he hoped it was something nice and sweet so he could be happy again.
Muichiro smiled, trying to reassure his brother, “This is Lady Amane! She has an offer for us and I think we should listen to the offer!” He said with his usual joy, but it did nothing to convince Yuichiro. All Yuichiro did was sigh and step away from the door so that the pair could enter, he did nothing else to greet nor accommodate the guest. Lady Amane entered the house, sitting down on the floor across from Muichiro while Yuichiro sat behind them, staring off blankly at the wall.
As Lady Amane explained her offer to become Demon Slayers and how their ancestors were so called, “First Breathers”, Muichiro’s excitement could only grow. But, while Muichiro was overjoyed to hear of the opportunities to help people, Yuichiro only grew more and more frustrated. Muichiro didn’t know why Yuichiro would be so against helping people and all Muichiro could do was watch as Yuichiro insulted Lady Amane. Eventually, Lady Amane left after she had informed them of their past along with their boundless potential, but Muichiro thought it may also be due to the continued heckling from Yuichiro.
After the Lady had departed, Muichiro was excitedly thinking about how they could save hundreds of people. Yuichiro began chopping vegetables for dinner, glaring at his brother as if his stare could make Muichiro wash rice.
Muichiro happily told Yuichiro, “Can you believe it? She said our ancestors were swordsmen!”
Yuichiro chopped a slice of daikon radish.
“Apparently we’re descendants of an amazing swordsman who used something called first breathing!” Muichiro exclaimed, believing he too could help people, much like his ancestors.
Yuichiro chopped another slice and looked up.
“Why should I care!? Wash the rice already!” Yuichiro yelled, glaring daggers at his brother.
“Hey, let’s become swordsmen! It’s hard to believe demons exist and are out there hurting people! If we can do something to help, we should!”
“Right?” Muichiro asked, with hope plastered on his face.
“So let’s become swordsmen and save the people who are suffering! If we do it together-”
Muichiro was interrupted by the slamming of a knife. Yuichiro finally looked up, slamming his fist into the cutting board. The cutting board dented slightly at the weight of his fist.
Muichiro stepped back, now worried, “Uh…?” Yuichiro stared at him.
Yuichiro continued, laying into him even further, “What makes you think you could ever save anybody?!”
“You can’t cook rice on your own and you’re going to be a swordsman and save others?!” Muichiro stepped back again, his eyes wide in disbelief.
“Give me a break Muichiro!” Yuichiro stared back, continuing to berate him.
“You sound like Mother and Father spouting that kind of nonsense! Stop being so optimistic!” Muichiro was utterly shocked, he didn’t know that Yuichiro believed that what Mother and Father said was nonsense.
“Your mind is poisoned just like Mother who told us she was fine, and then worked until she collapsed! Like Father who got killed trying to find some herbs!”
Poisoned? But I just want to help people!
Muichiro thought to himself, albeit unable to say the words aloud. He wanted desperately to comfort and confront his brother, but he was frozen in place.
“Even after I tried to stop him! Even after I begged Mother to rest over and over!” When Yuichiro yelled that, Muichiro could feel the warm tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
“The only kind of people that can help others are people who were chosen to do so!”
Muichiro’s eyes widened and his breath trembled even further. His loud shaky breaths were still heard even with the yelling.
“Our ancestors may have been swordsmen, but we are just two hopeless orphans!” Yuichiro emphasized certain words as if trying to prove a point to Muichiro and himself.
“People like us are useless, we’re only good for one thing, and that’s dying in the street like dogs!”
“Our parents met the same fate to prove it!”
“We’ll only end up getting used by that woman! Why do you think she came all the way here?!”
“We’re never talking about this again. Got it?!” Yuichiro looked at Muichiro with fury, glaring at his soft eyes that were tearing up and his hands which were trembling like leaves.
“Now hurry up and get dinner ready!” Yuichiro glanced away again, and his shoulders heaved as he stared at the cutting board. Muichiro couldn’t tell if Yuichiro regretted what he said. Muichiro turned away as he wiped his tears, failing to notice the tears that had beaded up at the corner of Yuichiro’s eyes.
Muichiro thought that his brother really seemed to believe what he was saying. That they were hopeless, useless and only meant to die. He wanted to comfort Yuichiro and tell him that it wasn’t true and that Yuichiro was worth everything in the world to him. But, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Muichiro cried at his inability to comfort his brother. Muichiro cried because he thought he would lose Yuichiro. Muichiro cried because he had hoped, truly dreamed, to save people but Yuichiro had rejected it.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
They hadn’t talked since that day. Their only conversation was another argument about Lady Amane.
Yuichiro’s feeling of dread had only increased with every passing summer day. He couldn’t explain why, but he was so sure that he would die in a few days, maybe a month if he was lucky. The summer sun burned into Yuichiro, like it was branding his death sentence into his skin. Yuichiro was exaggerating when he told Muichiro about their inevitable death but maybe for one of them it would be true.
One of the two, the uncompassionate one, the angry one, the uncaring one–it was Yuichiro. Yuichiro knew that he was the one that was meant to die, the one meant to die like a dog in a lonely forest. That was his only destiny, the only way forward for Yuichiro was his own demise. But Yuichiro didn’t care, as long as it was Muichiro who survived, as long as he could make it out of this forest and live, live until his hair turned to snow, whatever happened to him would be okay. Yuichiro–he would do anything to protect that bright smile, he would sacrifice himself to all the gods, as long as Muichiro survived. Yuichiro knew he wasn’t like his brother, he knew that Muichiro was sweeter than sugar, brighter than the sun, as kind as all the angels in heaven combined.
Yuichiro hoped that Muichiro could forgive him for taking away his dream.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The summer made them irritable. The summer was in full swing and the sun beat down on them no matter the time. Even in the night they burned in the heat, their only reprieve was a sip of water.
It was another hot night, Yuichiro could hear his twin twisting and turning on the futon and he knew what was going to happen. Yuichiro didn’t know why but now the feeling of dread consumed him, he was sure he would die in the next few hours. Yuichiro continued to lay still with his eyes closed as he listened to Muichiro stand up and stretch. He heard his feet patter on the floor as Muichiro walked over to drink some water from their ladle.
His death was about to happen. The feeling of dread had increased tenfold for Yuichiro and he opened his eyes to make sure nothing wrong had just happened. But everything was fine, it was just his brother and the man in the doorway.
But that was no man. Yuichiro knew better from the stories that Lady Amane had regaled them with.
The demon walked into their house, staring at Muichiro, staring at his brother, “Ah, damn it, nothing but a couple of brats, huh?” It scowled, seeming annoyed at only finding two kids in a house meant for a family.
Muichiro was frozen in fear, staring up at the thing that was going to kill him. The demon looked back, “Tch, whatever.” It lifted its arm, in preparation to kill Yuichiro’s brother. But that was wrong, that demon was supposed to kill Yuichiro, so Yuichiro did the first thing that came to mind.
At the same time that demon slashed, Yuichiro jumped in front of Muichiro, fully prepared to die right there.
Yuichiro screamed as he jumped, “Muichiro!” His body was jerked around by the impact of the claw and he fell to the floor in pain, as his arm was plastered to the wall behind him.
Muichiro tried to protect his twin, wrapping his arms around Yuichiro, “Brother, brother!” Muichiro screamed, but Yuichiro only writhed from pain in his brother’s grasp. Yuichiro shook in his grasp, screaming in agony from his missing arm, desperately trying to hide from the pain.
The demon laughed at their suffering, taking its sweet time to stalk closer towards them. Its laugh was mocking and it looked like it truly enjoyed Yuichiro’s suffering.
Muichiro desperately tried to drag Yuichiro to the corner of their house so he could protect his brother. Muichiro tried to stand in front of him and protect his older brother, but Yuichiro kept wailing in agony, staring at his arm stuck to the wall.
The demon was irritated after listening to his loud sobs of pain, “Shut up! Shut up! You’re too noisy!” It snapped at them.
“You can cry for help, but no one’s coming to help a couple of useless lumbermen like ourselves!” It was right there, standing in front of the brothers ready to eat them.
“Since it doesn't matter whether you exist or not, after all your lives are worthless!” The brothers were about to die. Yuichiro had a lot of regrets, mainly about how he failed to protect his brother and how badly he treated him. He prayed to Buddha that Muichiro would somehow survive and that his hair could turn white.
Yuichiro stared in shock as Muichiro stood up and roared and chased the demon out of the house. Yuichiro could hear as Muichiro screamed and beat the demon, he watched helplessly as his brother bled for him, when it was supposed to be the other way around. Yuichiro was the one that was supposed to die in the place of his brother.
Yuichiro clawed at his arm desperately trying to staunch the blood, but it kept spurting out, spilling out all over his hand. No matter how tight he held onto the stump of his arm the blood kept spilling down like a water fall. Yuichiro stumbled forward trying to reach his brother but he collapsed from the lack of blood, his only remaining arm was splayed in front of him, reaching out towards his brother that wasn’t there. He lay on his brother’s futon, watching how brutally he fought that demon. Yuichiro could tell that his brother would be a great Slayer, Yuichiro was sure that he would save hundreds of lives. Muichiro would be strong, maybe even one of the strongest, but Yuichiro is too selfish to let that happen. Yuichiro didn’t want his brother to be a slayer. He was selfish and hoped that Muichiro could live without him, he was selfish and wanted Muichiro to live, he was selfish and didn’t want his brother to pursue his dream, he was selfish and knew that Muichiro would die young if he became a slayer.
The moon slowly moved across the sky as Yuichiro felt the edges of his mind go hazy, his body long gone numb from blood loss. Both his body and mind were shrouded in mist, his thoughts were clouded from the pain that still dripped from his arm, and his body frozen from the lack of blood but Yuichiro could still hear the fight outside. Yuichiro listened intently for any sounds of pain from his younger brother, but he couldn’t discern any.
Or were his ears just failing him? Come to think of it, he hasn’t been able to feel much of anything for a few minutes, or was it a few hours? He couldn’t tell anymore.
Yuichiro pushed those thoughts away.
Good, that was good, I don’t hear any sounds of pain. Muichiro will be okay. He’ll survive and it’ll be okay and Muichiro can go live life like a normal kid should.
Yuichiro let his desperately formed delusions comfort him.
He felt his body slowly warm up and using most of his remaining strength he lifted his head to see the rising sun. The rays of the young sun warmed up his cold and clammy skin and for the briefest moment, Yuichiro could feel the hope he had back when he was younger, back when they were alive. He hoped, he prayed with all his heart that Muichiro would survive and that Muichiro would stumble back into their home and Yuichiro could see his face for just one last time. Yuichiro knew what he would say if Muichiro came back in time. Yuichiro just hoped he had enough time to tell his dear younger brother. He planned to tell Muichiro the truth about his name.
Mu, for infinity, never for incompetent or useless or anything else Yuichiro had said in that bitter state he was constantly in.
Yuichiro was sorry that he had to constantly subject Muichiro to his bitter, hateful, spiteful self. Yuichiro hoped that his younger brother could find it in him to forgive him one day, maybe sometime in the distant future. Or maybe his little brother would forget him before he was ever forgiven, that would be okay too, just as long as Muichiro lived to see the seasons change for many more years.
If Yuichiro had the strength to lift his head right now he could make out the form of his brother stumbling over to their shared house. But his body had no more strength and he was stuck facing towards the windowed wall, straining his ears to hear his brother’s approaching footsteps. He could hear the drag of his feet and the occasional stumble which would end with a pained grunt and then Yuichiro could make out the faint sound of his brother entering the house. Yuichiro heard his brother draw even nearer and he could hear his stumbling breaths like his little brother was about to cry.
If Yuichiro had the time to, he would comfort his little brother and wipe away his tears and shield him from the world with his own body. If, if, if only Yuichiro had time he’d repent for all of his regrets and he could spend years working for penance. But he doesn't, he only has a few minutes before he bleeds out in front of his brother. Muichiro drew closer to the futon, sniffling and sobbing, almost close enough that Yuichiro could see him. Now that he was here, Yuichiro could finally tell the younger twin the truth.
Yuichiro began to pray softly, hoping that Muichiro would hear, “I beg of you, please, I beg of you, oh please I-”
“Brother! You’re alive! Brother!” Muichiro interrupted, shocked that Yuichiro had survived the whole night so he desperately reached out towards his dying brother.
Muichiro falls in his desperation to reach Yuichiro, but he gets up and stumbles over to where he is lying down and climbs up the raised piece of wood. He reaches over to where Yuichiro is praying as more and more tears leak out of his eyes.
Yuichiro began, “Please, dear god, Buddha, anyone out there who’s listening, I beg of you, save him.” His voice was faint and near impossible to make out.
“Please, save my brother, he doesn’t deserve any of this.” Yuichiro prayed with all of his heart, willing to sacrifice his own life to save his brother.
Upon hearing this, Muichiro lets out a soft gasp and cries, reaching closer to his twin.
“My brother isn’t like me, he’s kind, he’s a kindhearted kid through and through, he says he wants to help others but I got in the way of his dream.” Yuichiro confessed to the gods and whoever else was listening.
“It’s my fault, and only mine.”
“The truth is, I've always known about his name.”
Muichiro is sobbing by now, tears spilling out like a waterfall, staining the ground and washing away Yuichiro’s spilt blood.
“The Mu in Muichiro stands for…”
Muichiro reaches over to grab Yuichiro’s cold hand, squeezing it and trying to warm it up, desperately clinging on to the rest of Yuichiro’s life.
“it stands for infinity.”
Muichiro, sorry I couldn’t be more gentle with you. It’s just I could never afford to be that way. Being compassionate towards others is one more thing that only the chosen can do. But, remember Muichiro, no matter how virtuous a life you may lead, neither the gods nor Buddha will be the ones to protect you in the end. That’s why I threw myself in front of you that day. Muichiro, you and I are nothing alike because for the sake of someone else–
You can exert infinite strength,
You are one of the chosen ones.
Yuichiro tried to look at his brother for the last time, trying to remember his face so he could take it with him in heaven. Yuichiro gazed at his brother’s soft eyes and round cheeks and wanted to smile, he knew his brother was one of the chosen ones.
Yuichiro’s eyelids began to flutter down, slowly closing over his hardened gaze, and his mind and body felt tranquil and a gentle warmth enveloped him as he rested his tired eyes.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
