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Sometimes, Abolish felt weird. He wasn't sure how else to explain it aside from weird. It was like his brain was sort of disconnected from his body, feeling smaller and weaker than he usually did, even though there was nothing wrong with him physically. A pout wouldn't leave his face and he could barely stop himself from whining at everything, despite how good his control over himself usually was.
The experience was annoying, to say the least, and he always did his best to ignore it, praying it would go away as soon as possible whenever it happened. Stupidly, he'd assumed that dying and getting revived had fixed it - but now, trying not to stumble as he made his way out of a cave, he held his pickaxe close to his chest and felt tinier than he'd felt in forever. It couldn't help but feel frustrated more than anything. What was wrong with it?
The walk home was one of the most difficult things it'd done since it'd come back to life, nearly tripping on just about every rock and stick in its path, too focused on its spiraling thoughts to be aware of anything around it. There was a deep frown on its face, brows furrowed in concentration; how had it used to get out of this headspace? It'd been so long since then that it could hardly remember, all its memories drowned out by the urge to curl up in bed with the softest blankets it had and eat snacks until it felt sleepy enough for a nap.
Gods, it sounded pathetic. Its nose wrinkled in disgust, before it came within sight of its forge and its heart soared, quickening its pace until it was practically tumbling down a hill to get inside where it'd be safe from the prying eyes of any other champions. Although he hadn't run into anyone on his way over here, who knew where everyone else was, and he did not want anyone to pick up on his issues.
Unfortunately for him, luck was not on his side. Right as he swung open the door, thunder rumbled loudly in the near-cloudless sky - Nikos. His heart pounded in his chest as his head jerked around, trying to spot the champion of Zeus, until his eyes landed on the individual hurrying over to him with a grin.
"Pretty one!" Something about the nickname and all the implications of it made his stomach twist when he felt like this, but he ignored it, pushing down the fear building in his chest as Nikos playfully hit his shoulder. "There you are, I have been looking for you. Were you mining?"
It drew in a deep breath. This was fine. Nikos didn't know, and as long as it kept itself calm, he would never know. The fact that he'd been looking for it wasn't a good sign considering it had no idea if it could keep up a whole conversation, but it forced itself to nod and respond, "Yeah, I just finished a bit ago, I was… gonna smelt everything and, uh, take a break."
"Of course." Their hand hadn't left its shoulder, and it really wished it could shove them off and bolt inside. It didn't want to deal with this right now. No matter how much it usually liked being around them, the memories of all the stuff they said to the other champions were making it feel gross right now, and it was pretty sure that if they made any moves toward it, it was going to throw up. "I only wanted to talk to you, no need to worry."
He swallowed hard, trying to force his face to return to neutral despite all the emotions swimming in his gut. Part of him wanting to run, part of him wanted to start crying, another part still wanted to drop his pickaxe and hug Nikos because being wrapped up in their arms felt safer than standing here alone. "Uh huh."
A moment of silence passed, the other's expression faltering. Uh oh. As they spoke, he was already trying to form an excuse in his head, come up with some explanation for why he was acting like this so he could get away while making sure they didn't find him weird or anything, nausea swirling in his stomach even worse than before. "If you do not want to talk, I can come back later, of course, pretty one. I don't mean to interrupt you."
"No, no, I…" It trailed off, taken aback by the sob suddenly pressing against the back of its throat. It couldn't even remember the last time it'd cried, and it certainly wasn't going to now, not over absolutely nothing. "Sorry. I'm just a… bit tired. We can, uh, talk though, if you… want."
Every word was a monumental effort to get out, and by the time he'd finished, he already felt exhausted. He'd give anything to just curl up in bed now and maybe cuddle with a pillow until he didn't feel like he was dying, but Nikos unfortunately seemed intent on figuring out what was wrong. "Are you alright? If you are ill, I can find something to help."
A hand rested under his chin and, too focused on his own thoughts, he flinched. They pulled back in an instant with a murmur of my apologies before he could apologize himself, leaving him tightening his grip on his pickaxe as he stared helplessly. What was it supposed to do? They were freaked out by it and it couldn't do anything, all its words leaving its head as a quiet whine slipped out of it.
"Abolish, do you… want me to leave?" Nikos said after a few moments, and its heart somehow pounded even faster. It wasn't sure if it was happy he was using its name or not, but it couldn't really form any words anyway, so it simply shook its head. He didn't want him to leave, really. He wasn't sure what he wanted. "Can you speak?"
He drew in a deep breath. Of course he could, he wasn't stupid. "A… little, yeah, sorry, um-"
"You are fine, little one." A hand settled on his arm, shockingly gentle for the usually so aggressive champion, and he was being led inside before he could say anything else. Little one. What was that nickname supposed to mean? Of course, it didn't dislike the name, and actually it kinda liked it a lot more than any other ones right now, but it certainly wasn't little. Even if it maybe felt sort of small right now.
It flopped down onto its mattress with a soft mmph, letting its pickaxe drop to the floor. Strong arms wrapped around it, tucking it close to the taller's chest before it could react, and a soft sigh slipped past its lips once they'd both settled into the bed. Lifting his arms with a bit of effort, he stretched and wrapped them around the back of their neck; their chest shook with quiet laughter as he pulled them as close as he could.
"There we are, little one." Their face pressed into his hair, breathing in deeply. For the first time in a while, a smile spread across his face - not out of any sadistic thrill he got from fighting, but from how nice this was, warm and comfortable and safe. "That is what is going on, is it not? You feel small."
Small. That was… a good descriptor, actually. It was kinda like his brain had been squished down until he felt like a little kid, before… everything. Before the fighting, before he'd realized just how different he was from the other men he knew, before he'd had to start carefully tiptoeing around his past to obscure a whole number of things he couldn't ever let people know. Back when things were easier.
He swallowed hard and nodded, tucking himself closer to Nikos; he didn't want to think about any of that. All that was far in the past, and he was here right now, safe in their arms. Nothing could hurt him when he was with them.
"I apologize if I made you… uncomfortable." A hand ran through his hair and a good amount of tension melted out of him, a soft sigh slipping past his lips, eyes fluttering closed. He couldn't bring himself to feel upset at all anymore, not when he was being held like the most important and delicate thing in the whole world. Especially when it was Nikos holding him. "I did not think you experienced this as well. Although I… have no idea why I keep ending up, ah, taking care of you all."
He shifted and stretched his legs out, ending up tangling his limbs with theirs. His voice came out a slow drawl as he hummed, "Who else…?"
"Pyro is the other I am aware of." Huh. It wondered why he of all people had… bouts of feeling small, considering he was already pretty young. "And I- Well." Nikos laughed quietly, patting the back of its head and drawing out a little giggle. "As much as I still hold a few certain things against him, I am not one to be cruel to children."
It wondered how exactly he knew this was something one could experience in the first place, or if Pyro had explained things to him. Not that it really had the energy to ask; it instead merely snuggled closer to him and let out a little hum in acknowledgment of what he'd said. Their hand returned to running through its hair, carefully picking apart its tangles, and it squeezed them a little tighter for a moment in thanks.
After an unknown amount of time, it caught itself beginning to drift off, jolting awake and forcing open its eyes. Nikos shifted slightly against it, patting its back a couple times. "Hm? Falling asleep?"
"No," he mumbled, eyes fluttering closed again as they began rubbing circles into the small of his back, easing him into relaxing again. They chuckled, squeezing him a bit with the arm around his waist.
"Well, I think that you should." A soft, chaste kiss was pressed to the top of his head, not aggressive in the same way they usually kissed people. Something warmed deep in his chest and he pressed closer to them, a smile spreading across his face. Never would he have ever thought they could be so sweet. "Rest, little one."
He didn't need to be told twice. Melting into their arms, he was soon drifting off again, this time giving in and slipping into sleep before he could think twice about it. The last thought in his head was that he was probably going to have a hell of a time figuring all this out in the morning.