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2. Worried Sick.
Harry paced back and forth in his dormitory, trying his hardest to memorize his notecard for his Potions midterm. Logically, he knew that he knew the material, and that even if he didn’t, he’d still pass with flying colors because of his lab work during the semester, but there was a pit in his stomach that was only growing bigger the longer he studied.
The exam was directly following lunch, and by the time Harry sat in the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione, he didn’t think he could swallow anything without immediately throwing it back up.
“Are you alright, Harry? You’re looking a little green,” Hermione observed.
“We’ve got Potions next, of course he’s not alright,” Ron piped up. He nudged Harry’s arm and looked at his best friend. “Right?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah. Potions.” He swallowed thickly and pushed his plate away from him. “I think I’ll go sit in the hall and study some more.” The smell of everyone else’s lunch was making his stomach turn and he was worried he might actually throw up. As Harry walked out of the Great Hall, he could feel a pair of dark eyes following him and knew that Severus was watching him leave the room.
The air in the dungeons was cold, and Harry took some steadying deep breaths. There really was no reason to be so worried about the exam—he’d been getting extra help from Severus all semester—but he didn’t want to let his guardian down.
Sliding down the wall outside the Potions classroom, Harry sat on the floor and held his head in his hands for a few minutes. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was the information from his notes swirling around in his head. He knew this stuff. He did. So why was his body acting like this exam was a fight to the death?
“Mr. Potter. My office, please.”
Harry jumped at the sound of Severus’ voice and had to forcibly hold back a gag from being startled.
Severus frowned when he saw the shade of Harry’s face as the boy stood and entered his office. “Are you feeling alright?”
Harry sat in the chair across from Severus’ desk and slumped down so that his head was resting on the back. “Feel queasy,” he admitted, not meeting Severus’ eyes.
Severus felt Harry’s cheek with the back of his hand and his frown deepened. As he conjured a stomach soother, he decided to try and pry some information out of the boy, wondering how much he could get out of him. “There’s no reason to be nervous, Harry. You’ve done wonderfully on all your Potions work so far this semester.”
Harry drank down the stomach soother and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and let his head hang. “I know. It’s probably nothing, I’m just being silly.” He took a slow, deep breath as a wave of nausea washed over him and made his mouth fill with saliva.
“Harry?” Severus asked, crouching down to be on Harry’s level. “Are you sure it’s just nerves?” The boy was running a little warm and he really didn’t look well.
Harry nodded and swallowed thickly before speaking. “Must be. What else could it be?”
“You could be ill,” Severus said as he cast a diagnostic charm.
“I’m fine. This is my last exam for the term, I’ll be fine.” Harry said that mostly to convince himself of the fact that he only had to get through one more exam before it was the winter holiday. He could do anything for two hours, no matter how nauseous he felt.
Severus read the parchment that appeared in his hand and tutted. “This says you have a low-grade fever and an upset stomach.”
Harry looked up at Severus and raised his eyebrows, like he was saying “duh” with his eyes.
“If you’d rather take the exam at another time, that can be arranged.” Severus vanished the parchment and stood to round his desk to his chair.
Harry shook his head. “No. I’ll take it now. I’m fine.”
“If you’re sure.”
Harry was regretting his decision to take the exam with everyone else. His stomach was roiling inside him, he felt overly warm but was shivering at the same time, and his vision was swimming. Unsure why he was still nervous, Harry marked down another answer, determined to finish the exam. He knew all the answers, but his body just would not get the hint.
After he answered the last question, he brought his exam up to Severus’ desk and handed it in, glad he could leave the classroom now that he was finished. “I’m going next door,” Harry whispered, quietly enough that no one else could hear him. “Are you alright?” Severus kept his face scowling, but he was worried about his ward. Clearly Harry’s upset stomach wasn’t just nerves.
Harry nodded minutely and left the room, hurrying to their dungeon quarters as soon as he was in the hallway. His mouth was filling with saliva again and he wasn’t sure he could hold back a gag any longer. Knees cracking against the stone floor, Harry fell in front of the toilet and bit back a sob as his stomach churned. Nothing felt worse than being about to throw up, in his opinion.
It felt like Harry threw up forever, and he didn’t even feel better when it was over. He was left with stomach cramps that ripped through his middle like a knife and shaking that wouldn’t stop. Curling in a ball on the cold bathroom floor seemed like the safest option, so Harry tipped sideways and pulled his towel down to wrap around him like a blanket. Closing his eyes, he wished that Severus was done proctoring the Potions exam so that he could be there, rubbing his back, giving him a stomach soother, holding him in his arms to stop his shivering.
Tears streaked Harry’s cheeks but he didn’t have the energy to wipe them away. Throwing up had sapped all the energy from his body, and he wasn’t sure he could even sit up if he needed to vomit again. Too drained to stop himself, Harry let himself sob out loud, his insides feeling like they were being tied up in knots. “Sev,” he cried, wrapping his arms around himself to try and self-sooth. “Please help me, Sev.”
Severus stared daggers at the last student in his classroom, wishing they would hurry up and pass their exam in. Anxiety was crawling up and down Severus’ spine at the way Harry had hurried out of the room, dreadfully pale and sweating. At last, the student finished the exam and turned it in. It took all Severus could do not to run out of the room as soon as the parchment hit his desk. He waited until the student had left the room and then stalked through the secret passage from his classroom to his private quarters. “Harry?” Severus froze in his tracks when he heard Harry pleading for him, sobs making his voice shake.
“Harry, I’m here,” Severus said softly as he ran to the bathroom, his heart breaking at the sight of Harry huddled on the floor crying.
“It hurts, Sev, please make it stop,” Harry cried. There were snot and tears and sick all over him, but he found that he didn’t have the energy to try and clean himself up.
Severus ran another diagnostic charm and quickly read the results. “It seems as though you’ve contracted a stomach virus. Since that’s a muggle disease, there’s not much I can do for you, I’m afraid,” Severus stated. He sat on the floor next to Harry and pushed his hair back from his forehead. “You’ve got a temperature.” He traced his thumb over Harry’s scar and wished he could make his ward feel better. “I can conjure you a stomach soother, or I can take you up to the hospital wing.”
Harry moved his aching body so that his head was resting in Severus’ lap. “I don’t think I can walk.”
Severus frowned. “What hurts?” He ran his fingers through Harry’s hair and hated that he could feel how much the boy was shaking.
“Stomach cramps,” Harry answered, using the sleeve of his cloak to wipe his eyes and nose. “Sorry, I’m a mess.”
“Nonsense. You’re sick. You’re allowed to be messy.” Severus conjured a stomach soother and set it next to him in case Harry decided he wanted to take one. “Do you still feel like you might throw up?”
Harry shrugged. “Hard to tell.” He winced through a cramp and pushed himself farther into Severus’ lap, his upper body across the older man’s legs.
Ten minutes passed, Harry curled up with cramps before he groaned and tried to push himself up. “I’m gonna be sick,” he ground out through clenched teeth.
Severus helped the boy to sit up and kept a reassuring hand on his back as Harry vomited, forcing his own body not to react to the sounds and smells of someone getting sick. “Are you finished?” Severus asked when it seemed like Harry was out of things for his stomach to bring up.
Harry nodded, spitting into the toilet water.
Standing, Severus wet a flannel with warm water and wiped Harry’s face for him before flushing the toilet. “If I help you, do you think you can get to your room? You’ll be much more comfortable in your bed.”
Shivering, Harry thought for a moment. “I don’t think leaving is a good idea, Sev.”
“I’ve already put a bin by the bed and folded down the blankets. Come on.” Severus helped Harry stand and then, surprising even himself, scooped the boy up in his arms and carried him to his room. He tucked him into bed and sat on the edge, taking Harry’s glasses off for him. “Isn’t this better?”
Harry nodded, curling up on his side. “Will you stay with me?”
“Of course.” Severus stood and rounded the bed, sitting on the empty side of Harry’s bed, his back leaning up against the headboard.
Harry rolled over so that his head was back in Severus’s lap, and he closed his eyes and let the warmth of his guardian soothe him. Flinching, Harry popped his eyes back open when Severus’ hand began rubbing his head. “Is this alright?” Severus asked, pausing his movements.
Sighing, Harry closed his eyes again. “Yeah.”
Severus resumed rubbing Harry’s head, wondering how he knew what he was doing. He’d never wanted children; his parents hadn’t been caring people. Yet here he was, running his fingers through Harry’s hair, like he wished someone had done for him as a child. “Would you like to try a stomach soother?” Severus asked, clearing his throat.
“Can’t hurt, I guess,” Harry replied.
Severus conjured the potion and helped prop Harry up so that he could swallow down the liquid. He grimaced at the taste, but it didn’t immediately come back up, which Severus took as a good sign.
When Harry lie down again, he maneuvered so that he was pressed against Severus, his head resting on his chest. He sighed when Severus wrapped an arm around him and held him close. “Sorry I got sick,” Harry mumbled, still having a hard time when he felt like he was being a burden to the people around him.
“No need to apologize, Harry. This is what I’m here for.” Severus kissed the top of Harry’s head and used his free hand to pull the blankets up over Harry’s shoulder. “Now, get some rest. I’ll be right here if you need me.”