Chapter Text
Lohen didn't let his guard down- ever. When he was walking around Mondstadt, training troops, in his office, or even alone in the little room he called home. He glanced at every corner- noted every exit and how many people were in the room. Of course, there were times he was more alert like when he was patrolling or actively fighting- but Lohen never fully dropped his guard. Not since he was 11, when Fatuus hands grabbed him and locked him in a cage.
Even now, stuck in solitary confinement, with only one door that was locked and a small window that didn't open. He was listening for the sound of footsteps outside the door, maybe breathing, or the sound of Noelle outside practicing with her Claymore, anything that explained why his muscles were tensed up like he was preparing for a fight.
Lohen ran a hand through his dull green hair, dragging his hand down then pulling at the faded blue hair that his original green blended into. His gloves prevented him from feeling the individual strands, but he could feel the pressure and the slight pull. It reminded him he was real, something that anchored him.
Lohen was sitting on the floor, resting his back against the corner of a wall, facing both the window and the door. He glanced to the left far wall where the window was. It was just past noon by the look of the sky- meaning he had been here for about an hour or two. He dropped his hand from his neck and started tapping his leg.
He squinted for a second considering. He did bring his pocket watch, it being one of the standard things he kept on him at all times. Lohen glanced between the door and the window, holding his breath for a moment to hear as far as he could.
Still silence, nothing but his own heartbeat.
He kept his eyes switching between the window and the door as he summoned the watch. Holding it in front of him it was 14:43. He wasn’t sure the exact time he started his solitary confinement, but it had been a little past noon most likely.
After the events at the old lab, defeating Ursa and Lohen fighting the corrupted monsters, Diluc, Lohen, Varka, and the Traveler, returned to Port Osmos. Varka left to talk to the knights and set up whatever would happen with Adorno when he finally passed.
All he could think of at the time was that it was… unfortunate. He didn’t get stronger in the long run, all he learned from this was a few more morals and that Diluc liked putting his nose where it didn’t belong. From there the Traveler had quickly waved them goodbye, Diluc following soon after- simply asking Varka to keep him updated. Lohen then went to be by Adorno's side in his final moments… as Varka had requested.
He was hardly there for an hour in the end. Eventually, Theodore, Lohen and the Grand Master had walked back to Mondstadt and straight to Acting Grand Master Jean’s office.
From there, both Theodore and Lohen confessed everything, how the whole ordeal started- why Lohen joined, how they kept the experiments secret, etc etc. Lohen had tuned out a majority of that conversation as every other sentence either Jean or Varka (mostly Jean) would pipe in and ask ‘so you know you can’t do that’ or something along those lines. Basically half of the time was a report, and the other half was a lecture. Not that he could really say it wasn’t deserved- but it still irked him. He had messed up, he was aware of the fact- Jean didn’t have to check that he knew that every minute. Near the end of the story Theodore was in tears- well, he had been crying almost constantly since Adorno, but now he was crying for a different reason, talking and spouting his sob story.
Lohen at that point had smacked him in the back of the head, telling him that if he felt his sins were too heavy to go to a confession. They were there to report, not cry. Varka had scolded Lohen verbally, while Jean looked half relieved and half annoyed that Lohen had smacked the trainee. Either way, the meeting ended shortly after that. Varka and Jean (by that mainly meaning Jean) had decided what their punishments were, then Varka left with Theodore to who knows where.
That left Lohen with Jean. He had been sitting fairly idle the whole time, not taking out a knife to play with or tapping his feet to show that while his face was utterly disinterested, he was taking this ordeal seriously. Now that the Grand Master left, Lohen quickly went to drumming his fingers rhythmically on the couch arm, idly watching while he waited for Jean to speak.
She fiddled with a couple of sheets of paper before she had finally stood up and told Lohen to go home for the day. He was to return at 8am sharp tomorrow where he would write an official report then be sent to solitary confinement for his mandatory 3 day punishment.
Lohen had quirked an eyebrow at her, questioning the mercy he was allowed to go home and sleep in his own bed for one more night- before deciding he didn’t particularly care about why she granted that mercy. Now, around 17 hours later, he wasn’t sure if that was a mercy.
If he had been immediately sent to solitary confinement he would have at least had his report to do, and would have been a fourth of the way through his punishment practically. Now, he was only two hours in and was already hating himself.
He had the tools to lockpick the door if he wanted, but Lohen fully understood he messed up. Actions have consequences, and he was unfortunately not above them.
Blowing out a bubble of air he traced his canine with his teeth while he dug into his pocket and got out a piece of gum. Quickly depositing the candy into his mouth he adjusted his sitting position so it would be easier to get up and dodge any incoming weapon should he need to.
That quickly reminded him of what he had been trying to forget about- the fact that he was so tense. Lohen had literally gone and recalled what happened yesterday in an effort to distract himself and maybe just get a bit of a break. Yet at the end his brain returned to notice the fact that he was anxious, feeling like a rabbit caught in a snare just waiting for a predator to come and finish him off.
His head suddenly perked up, snapping towards the window as he heard a faint noise. Stilling all of his muscles he strained his ears to figure out what it was.
.
.
.
There it was again. It sounded like, cheering?
He racked his brain for just a moment before he remembered the ceremony that was supposed to go on today. Letting himself fall back against the wall once more, Lohen continued to chew his gum.
Right, he was supposed to be there, being promoted to Captain, and maybe gaining the title of Benevolent Knight… had he not experimented with powers that broke multiple laws. He let his head fall loosely to the side, blowing a bubble with his gum.
Well- he honestly didn’t particularly mind the fact he didn’t get either. Everyone knew Lohen had no care for honor or titles. The only reason he had even tried to convince Adorno that he had done well during the expedition, was to allow the old man to see his legacy passed on; so he could die knowing he didn’t fail.
Psssh
Look how that turned out
Lohen bit into the side of his cheek then pulled his head forward and then back against the wall with a small ‘thump’.
Archons, Lohen really failed at everything didn’t he?
Ever since Rerir- Lohen had been pushed back into the endless pit that was fear, and he hadn’t managed to get out since. When he found Theodore messing with Ursa, with power, Lohen thought he had finally managed to grab a hold of a branch in the wall- stopping his fall, but now that the experiments had concluded, he could see that had just been an illusion, and he had never stopped falling.
The further he fell the narrower the pit became, which might make you think, ‘if the pit is narrower surely it will be easier to grab onto the walls to stop your fall right?’ Well, technically that was true, had seen the walls closing in. Now he was falling in a narrow tunnel, arms pressed against his body and the wall, catching on every rock and root tearing his clothes and skin.
Of course, this was all metaphorical- so he wasn’t actually injured- well besides a few scrapes from yesterday and his hand that he stabbed. Thinking about it he flexed the prehensile appendage, frowning at the lack of pain.
Being a vision bearer had its benefits- but occasionally he did get annoyed that it healed his wounds so quickly. That meant he had to go and find something else to fight. Now, normally he wouldn’t mind, but obviously- that wasn’t something he could do right now.
Exhaling sharply, Lohen moved to poke at the palm of his injured hand with his uninjured one, invoking the slightest sense of soreness.
Which he then proceeded to do over and over again for the next hour or so, until he heard footsteps and chatter in the hallway.
Dropping his hands which had gone partially numb from the repeated pressure, Lohen jumped to his feet and hovered his hand over his thigh- right where he could easily summon his dagger.
The first couple of footsteps passed by his room- a couple of knights returning to whatever patrol after the ceremony. Still, Lohen never let himself shift from his ready stance- which he had disguised as him lazily leaning against the wall, one hand loose by his thigh and the other on his hip.
He could explain why he did this- but that was a distraction. He couldn’t monologue to himself when there was danger.
Danger
That’s what the knights were
Dangerous
A threat to himself and the control he had on his life.
Lohen blinked suddenly, mentally frowning. No, the knights weren’t dangerous. Hardly any of them posed a threat to him at all. He could get rid of half of them easily by poisoning them. Why did he think they were dangerous?
Because I’m powerless
Puny mortal child who has no one to protect him anymore
His saviour grew old and died
And he didn’t have the strength to protect himself
Lohen squeezed the hand on his hip, digging his fingertips just past the tassets he designed into his knight uniform and into his flesh. Right, he still had Ursa’s flesh in his system. The faint lingering of power that he didn’t want, power that would take away control.
Being distracted trying to recenter himself, he almost didn’t notice the distinct footsteps that walked towards his door.
Releasing his hand and letting it rest naturally at his hip once more, Lohen made sure to fix his expression into one of boredom and looked at the ceiling. Listening to his watch that he had dropped and never dismissed, it ticked faintly 6 times before someone grabbed the door handle and inserted a key.
Lohen stood idly while Jean, he knew it was Jean from the footsteps, unlocked the door and entered. As she entered he languidly looked down at her and blew a bubble in his gum once more.
“Afternoon Lohen, we just finished the ceremony and I wanted to bring you lunch.”
Jean spoke in her usual measured tone, a passive amount of care layered in each word.
Lohen swallowed the candy he had been chewing on and smirked. “Why thank you Acting Grand Master. I must say, up here all by my lonesome I thought you almost forgot me.” He walked forward accepting the plate that held Mondstadt Hashbrowns and a skewer of Grilled Fish. He walked over to the desk which was covered in crayons, papers, and mechanical parts that would probably construct into a bomb.
Keeping Jean in his peripheral vision, he pushed some half-finished drawings aside carefully and set the plate down before once more turning to fully face her.
“So, considering you are still standing there I assume you have something to say to me?” He tilted his head lazily, leaning back to rest against the desk.
Jean observed him for a moment, before she exhaled softly, coming to some sort of conclusion. “Just checking on you, making sure you didn’t run off to fight something.” She sent him what he supposed was a knowing look, though what she knew exactly he couldn’t pinpoint.
Huffing a small laugh, he formally pressed his hand against the right side of his chest. “I should almost feel offended, Jean. I am still a knight and I do follow my duties- both responsibilities and punishments.” He dipped his head down slightly. “You needn’t worry about me running off, though I may start to die from boredom. Nevertheless I suppose there is enough room here to practice a couple weapon routines.”
Jean rolled her eyes, sighing once more. “Please do not break anything, Klee has brought multiple things into this area- and I’m not sure how many are working bombs.” Lohen chuckled faintly before letting his hand drop to his side once more.
“I’m always careful Acting Grand Master. Now, you should probably go before Varka manages to sneak away from the paperwork I am sure he has to do.” Jean smiled kindly, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, at him. She dipped her head in acknowledgement as she spoke and stepped backwards.
“I’ve already locked him in my office, though I suppose he might have escaped by now.” She turned around and started closing the door behind her, before pausing briefly and glancing back at him. “Make sure you are reflecting on your actions, Vice Captain, I want you to be back on the field, knowing you won’t make stupid mistakes.” With that she closed the door, and he heard the lock click once more.
Dropping his smile, he watched the door for another minute- listening to Jean's footsteps fade into the hallways. Eventually, all he heard was faint chatter from distant guards, a bit of yelling that sounded faintly like Varka complaining, the pocket watch, his heartbeat, and his own breathing. Deciding no-one would approach for now he turned back to the food to inspect it.
He removed both of his gloves and pushed all the ingredients on the skewer off the stick and onto the plate. Picking up the fish he tore it apart and sniffed each piece, cataloging what had been used to cook it. The only thing he could smell was pepper, and the faintest bit of salt. He turned over the meat in his hand, before eating it as he didn’t see any visual anomalies. He chewed slowly for a moment, testing the flavour before eating the piece more confidently and he returned to inspect the next piece.
He went through this process with each piece of grilled fish and the small amount of lettuce that had been on the skewer. Nothing had been tampered with on that dish, so he turned and started inspecting the hash browns. He turned one over in his hand, not noticing anything wrong before tearing it open and smelling it. It smelled like potatoes and pine, normal. He bit into one half, once again chewing slowly at first before finishing it. Lohen forwent the jam that was next to the Hashbrowns, as liquids (partially solid or not) were easier to tamper with, without any sort of obvious sign. He repeated this process with the second hash brown, until he was eventually left with an empty plate.
Swallowing the last bit of food and dusting his hands off, Lohen glanced back at the door and window. The light outside hardly changed, but he had been listening to his watch, meaning he had been eating for about 15 minutes. Exhaling softly Lohen returned to the corner he started in and slowly sank down against the wall.
He felt a bit better, less antsy, more like himself. Closing his eyes he scooted forward slightly so he could lean back against the wall instead of sitting straight up and down against it. The Vice Captain stayed still for about 108 ticks before he reopened his eyes and glanced at the pocket watch that lay discarded on the ground. He stared at it for at least 20 ticks, but after that his eyes blurred and his mind got a little foggy so he stopped counting them.
Lohen sat there for an indefinite amount of time, not really thinking, but not really resting either. Various thoughts blurred past- some doubts, some memories, some inquiries, and a few reviewing fight moves. He couldn’t pin an exact thought down, only having vague ideas of what each one was before they returned to swim lazily in his mind.
Lohen felt…
He blinked, the thought dismissed back with the others.
Feeling had returned to his hands at some point.
Yet he didn’t really feel them.
His vision partially refocused and he looked up, away from the watch, and up at the small bed that was pushed below the window, directly to his right.
That was a bed.
He should probably sleep.
He couldn’t hear his watch ticking anymore.
.
.
.
Well he couldn’t hear his heartbeat either.
Lohen blinked sluggishly, his vision unfocusing once again.
He was a bit cold.
He had a cryo vision though.
Perhaps his body was making up things, but at least he felt something.
His hand twitched, partially snapping Lohen back into himself. Something happened.
Right his hand twitched, that's what happened.
Why did that happen?
…
Footsteps
Sound of something unlocking
Lohen’s head snapped to the door, hands once splayed loosely next to his body, reaching up to his sides where he formed three cryo draggers and threw them at the opening door.
One wedged into the door, another into the right wall, while the middle dagger flew into the opening space of the door, and right at the entering threat’s person’s chest.
Varka, having not expected an attack (why was he not expecting an attack, it was Lohen of all people), didn’t have time to dodge or block the incoming weapon. However, they were all knights, and wore various pieces of armour. The Cryo dagger tip dug into the Grand Masters chest plate, before being forced to a stop. Not enough to actually injure the Grand Master, but enough to show the knife had been thrown with some kind of intent.
Varka had seen the dagger as he opened the door, and while he didn’t have the time to block the dagger, he instinctively summoned his claymore to block any following attacks. Lohen, while this had been happening, had leaped to his feet and was just finishing standing up as their eyes met.
Dull blue and red stared into sky blue. Both froze for a moment, Varka registering everything he was seeing, and Lohen returning to a conscious state of mind, rather than one run by his instincts.
The smaller of the two was the first to move, registering the fact he was frightened and wanted to cover that up as soon as possible. He didn’t get frightened. Lohen was always at least partially conscious and prepared for an ambush. When he was awake, he could easily tell who and what was a threat. He didn’t randomly start and attack someone- not when he hadn’t fallen asleep.
“Ha, startled me a bit there Varka, you trying to sneak up on me?” He calmly dusted nothing off of his coat, letting his cryo daggers dissolve and fade back into nothing. Varka stood stationary for a moment longer, one hand holding his claymore, and the other hand holding a plate? Ah, it must be dinner by now. And of course he had reacted to an attack without dropping the plate. Why would the Knight of Boreas need both hands to respond to a threat as small as Lohen?
Lohen's eye twitched at the thought, but he kept a disarming smile on his face. Varka slowly stood up straight and dismissed his claymore, scanning Lohen's face. Lohen, having expected the inspection, kept his expression schooled into one of playful ease, with a hint of questioning, as to make his expression look more natural rather than forced
He let the knight in the doorway observe him for 3 seconds longer before he tilted his head. “I know I have a lovely face and all, but I am sure that solitary confinement is not your preferred place to be, especially if you are here just to stare at me.” He quirked his smile into one a bit more teasing as he finished speaking.
Varka opened his mouth to speak, but Lohen interrupted him before he got a single sound out, flawlessly and smoothly. “I mean, unless you ran away from your paperwork and now Jean has also put you in timeout.” He propped a hand on his hip and summoned his dagger to twirl in his right hand.
There was a flash of exasperation on Varka's face before he shook his head and laughed. Well, chuckled more like. The kind of laugh he did when he was amused but still being serious about something. That something, was probably Lohen's reaction to Varka entering. Shit.
…
Well nothing he could do about it now but act innocent.
“Why’d you decide to give me a special greeting? Am I that threatening to you, that you throw daggers at me but not Jean?” The blonde said his question carefully, sounding teasing but Lohen knew he was trying to get information. Varka stepped into the room fully and shut the door behind him, holding the food out in front of him.
Lohen glanced down at the plate, Northern Smoked Chicken, before returning his gaze back to the Grand Master. “Eh, gotta keep you on your toes. Had I actually thrown my spear at you, I would have impailed you.” He let his smirk move into an open grin. “I’ve been away a day and you’re already getting sloppy?”
Varka let out an amused but exasperated sigh, before walking to the desk. Lohen tracked his movements with careful eyes, trying his hardest to look like he was planning to poison the man. Usually when he got that sadistic expression on his face, Varka tended to try and stay away from Lohen- knowing he may fall into a pit trap or some of his precious wine might suddenly be tampered with.
As the taller turned back around to face Lohen- he visibly paused at Lohen’s expression. The lower ranked knight made a slight show of glancing at the food, smirking, then looking back up at Varka. “So Grand Master, you wouldn’t have happened to have eaten dinner yet, have you?” He blinked innocently at the other, well aware that his ‘innocent’ face always caused Varka a small amount of anxiety.
Varka squinted at him. “No, I have not… What are you planning Lohen.” The Vice Captain walked forward casually, stopping next to Varka and plucking a piece of lettuce from the plate. He briefly noticed he never put his gloves back on from earlier, but mainly focused on doing a quick check of the lettuce. He twirled the lettuce once, getting a full 360 view. “I don’t know what you mean dear Grand Master.”
Feeling as satisfied as he could without obviously inspecting the food, he took a bite out of it and looked up at Varka. He smiled, swallowed the food and tilted his head, taunting the blonde. “I was just asking a friendly question.”
Varka had an expression on his face that was a bit hard to discern, looking like a mix of suspicion, resignation, and something like happiness? Well, Lohen didn’t trust the read on Varka feeling ‘happy’ so he determined it as an expression he didn’t know the meaning of just yet.
“I don’t think you have ever asked a friendly question, not unless you were trying to disarm someone for your latest ‘test’.”
The two stared at each other for a couple seconds, unblinking, before Lohen shrugged and turned back to the plate. “Well then I suppose that’s your problem for thinking that.” He finished his statement by taking another bite out of the lettuce, leaving just a small piece left pinched between his fingers.
Varka sighed, hand moving up. Lohen’s eyes snapped to the man, tensing but not pausing what he was doing. The blonde ran a hand down his face before turning back to the door. Lohen let his muscles relax, deeming the knight as harmless for now.
Varka walked the four steps to the door, talking over his shoulder. “Well, should you need anything just holler, or knock on the door really loud.” He paused as he reached for the door looking at what Lohen could only assume was the nick the door now had from his dagger.
Tensing up once again Lohen snapped his gaze to the food as if uninterested in the knight. He ate the last bit of lettuce in his hand before picking up another, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Varka turn around, to look at Lohen once again. “I’ll be back to give you breakfast tomorrow, so try not to stab me next tim eh? Because well, it might not be ‘me’ who gives you breakfast tomorrow, and I would rather you not stab another knight.” From the corner of his eye Lohen saw Varka grin with amusement.
The green haired knight just hummed and he took a bite out of lettuce, nodding dismissively. Varka seemed to deem this enough and turned back to the door, opening it to leave. As he stepped through the doorway, he called over his shoulder once more. “Try not to poison yourself Lohen!” The door shut behind him, but Lohen hardly heard the sound of the lock clicking.
He had frozen at Varka’s words, suddenly terrified at what the Grand Master meant. Had he poisoned his food? That’s what he suggested.
No, he said ‘yourself’, that means he was suggesting Lohen would poison it.
Why would Lohen poison his own food?
Well he did sometimes poison himself to gain immunity, but that wasn’t ‘poisoning’.
Was there a double meaning, and Varka had just said it that way to disarm him?
He pulled the lettuce in his hand closer to his face, inspecting it more closely before sniffing it. It just smelled like lettuce with hints of smoked fowl leftover on the leaves. Still, the feeling of anxiety never left him. He set the half eaten lettuce back on the plate and backed away from it.
Varka had never attempted to poison him before. Why start now?
He did betray the knight's trust.
He was experimenting with Ursa.
He still had traces of it in his blood.
Was this a ploy to re-cage him? Study him?
No, that made no sense. They destroyed Ursa, which showed their intent was to get rid of it. It would be useless to destroy Ursa’s remaining flesh if they wanted to study him.
.
.
.
Did they destroy Ursa?
He never checked.
They came to him once they were done.
He heard the fight with Ursa, but was that to just contain it?
Did they lie?
Despite internally panicking, his breath hardly sped up. He wasn’t hyperventilating and losing his senses while he felt the walls solidify into a proper cage. If anything, he was calm. Looked calm, and even felt calm.
Someone might hear his thoughts and imagine that the person thinking them would be shaking, hyperventilating, grabbing at their hair and clothes trying to ground themselves. But, then again, Lohen had never been normal had he.
Lohen’s gaze had at some point unfocused when he was thinking, so he let his eyes refocus on what was in front of him. Not to particularly look at anything, but to make sure he stayed aware of where he was and what was around him.
He crossed his left arm over his stomach and rested his elbow on the other arm on his wrist, tapping his lip with a finger, contemplating. He didn’t let himself pace, wanting to stay silent just in case someone was listening to him.
Varka had said, word for word: ‘Try not to poison yourself Lohen’. The man had always been very literal with his words, not being fond of traps and trickery like Lohen. Of course, while this could be an outlier on his usual behaviour, Lohen was far more inclined to believe the anemo wielding knight wasn’t going to change tactics. So, under that assumption, what did his words mean?
‘Try not to poison yourself’ could be used in the literal sense of Lohen putting poison in his own food then eating it, and as such ‘poisoning himself’. However, were there poison in the food, Lohen was eating the food of his own volition, therefore counting under the definition of him still poisoning himself. Yet- back to Varka and his ideals and how he spoke- he didn’t do word plays like that. From what Lohen had heard and seen, Calvary Captain Kaeya was the one to pull tricks like that. The Grand Master had only ever deceived people in the smallest sense of letting them assume something, and not correcting them.
Mulling his evidence properly, he came to the basic conclusion that, no, Varka had not poisoned the food. Varka specifically. Lohen didn’t know if someone else tampered with the food. Afterall, he had been experimenting with Ursa, a monster that had stirred up all kinds of tragedy in Mondstadt. Simply being associated with the notion of continuing its existence might put a target on his back. Though he was unsure how much of what he had done was shared with everyone else.
.
.
.
Well he was pretty sure Varka hadn’t poisoned the food and was joking when he spoke- likely a jest to Lohen vaguely threatening he was going to poison Varka earlier; actually that made sense. It aligned perfectly with his read on Varka as a person.
Anyways as he was thinking- while he hadn’t poisoned the food, it didn’t get rid of the possibility that they didn’t destroy Ursa and he was being kept as an object of study.
The people who were at the old laboratory were: Lohen, Theodore, Adorno, Varlka, Diluc, and the Traveler (which also included Paimon).
…
Archons Lohen was a fucking idiot. He himself literally allowed Varka and Diluc to take head on Ursa’s demise because they had personal scores to settle. He was doubting the natural inclination people had to get revenge/settle scores on past grievances. Hell, it was why he fought the inflicted monsters, because he made them- it was his mistake to fix and remedy.
Lohen brought both hands up and pressed them against his face, groaning loudly in complete exasperation at himself.
He dragged his hands down his face, letting his fingers pull his skin down slightly. The knight then eyed the food.
Well- there was one obvious way to see if Varka poisoned the food (not that be believed he did anymore), and that was to simply eat it. Of course, even if the food was poisoned, Lohen had been building up his immunity to every single poison he could get his hands on since he first tried to poison Varka.
Breathing sharply in through his nose, he let his bare hands- he really needed to put his gloves back on- hang by his side once more, exhaling softly through his mouth. He closed his eyes, re-centering his mind. He was not some anxiety-ridden trauma bound child. He’s 20 for fucks sake! He would not be caught off guard as long as he continued acting as he usually did. Letting his fears take control of him is why he had been startled.
Lohen had never been one to let his fears control him, ever back during the event that changed everything. He had stayed in the cart because that's what he was told to do, and Lohen had always done what he was told. The obedient little child, who helped his parents polish and craft bows. It had been routine. It was routine that got him captured. Lohen was not blind to the fact that as a child, there was hardly a chance he could have escaped by himself. As a child, he was relying on his parents, his father, to just pick up the bow he had so carefully crafted to protect him. But that wasn’t part of the normal routine, using the bow was not what his family was about.
Sometimes Lohen is thankful he was kidnapped. The event gave him the push he needed to break the dull routine that he had just accepted as a child. It gave him something to work towards. Other times, he hated that he had been taken. Lohen knew himself well enough to know he was just a generally violent person. He didn’t think the trauma of that event caused his ‘manic personality’. No… those cages, the masked figures, watching creatures rage and die… that made him understand that people with power had control; and Lohen detested being unable to control his own life.
He clenched his fists closed, digging his fingernails into his palms. Taking another deep breath, Lohen finally walked back to the food. He stared at the food for a couple of seconds, before ignoring the feeling in the back of his head that told him this was a horrible idea, and eating this food would just lead to him being trapped and experimented on. Grabbing the cutlery, the green haired knight actually took a seat in the chair, instead of standing while eating like he did last time.
He took his first bite, and didn’t even let himself get a small taste of it before he started eating as if he had made this meal himself. Diving head first into danger made it a lot easier to get things done; afterall, if you had to pull out an arrow that had lodged itself in your arm, you didn’t slowly pull it out, you removed it as swiftly as possible- making it a short, sharp pain, rather than a long and excruciating one. If that was how wounds were normally treated, then logically preparing oneself for danger was the same no? Either way, Lohen was not the type of knight to run away from the possibility of danger. He had to face the danger to make sure he could survive it.
The flavour was… amendable. Not his favourite, but then again, he never had a true favorite. For meals at least. He did like the taste of Valberry and Mint, though that was probably because of the candy Adorno makes. Used to make. He would have to get used to referring to the Benevolent Knight in past tense. Lohen slowed down his eating as he pondered the fact that Adorno was dead.
Lohen had avoided Adorno for around 5 months once he had returned to Mondstadt. He didn’t exactly regret it per say… though he does wish he had gotten a few more memories with the old man before Lohen went ahead and tainted their relationship. Not that the ‘tainted relationship’ mattered, because he was dead now. Just because Adorno was dead, didn’t mean Lohen’s brain couldn’t speculate what the retired knight's opinion on him was before he died. Tapping his fork lightly against the edge of his plate, he started to think about what his final opinion might have been, before stabbing the last morsel of food and dismissing the thought. Adorno cared enough, asking Lohen and Theodore to stay by his side. If he considered their actions uncouth and damaging to the relationship they had with him, Adorno should have voiced his thoughts before he died. After all, dead men tell no tales.
Lohen huffed a small laugh at the weirdly placed joke. Well, humor had its perks, and Lohen had always preferred his humor to be sarcasm, or saying out of pocket things. Did that sentence make sense grammatically? Ehhh- whatever, not like he was telling someone his thoughts so it didn’t particularly matter if his thoughts were grammatically correct.
Pushing the plate back the slightest bit, he interlocked his fingers and stretched his arms above his head.A couple of joints popped and he grimaced slightly, mourning his back after the horrendous posture he had kept while dissociating.
Lohen stood up and started doing a couple of stretches, basking in the feeling of the pull, and the sensation of his limbs regaining warmth as blood flooded towards the stimulated muscles. He let out a slight noise, something that was created out of relief and pleasure.
Shaking his body out after spending 10 minutes warming up, Lohen bounced on his toes a bit. It was fairly late- there were still some streaks of sunlight in the sky outside, but the stars were already visible- so most of the knights in the building would have already switched to night shift. He was unsure if people knew that he was stuck in solitary confinement, but he didn’t really care if they got a bit spooked by Lohen jumping around the room a bit. If anything, it was good practice for them! If they couldn’t figure out that some poor soul was trapped in solitary confinement, then they certainly deserved being a little spooked. Or maybe a few knives thrown at them- but he supposed he could only throw knives at people if the door was open.
The room he was stuck in was pretty bland, consisting of a desk, a chair, a bed, a small bookcase, and a couple of small miscellaneous items already pushed out of the way. There wasn’t exactly a practice dummy here for him, but he didn’t need one to run through a couple of moves. Glancing around the room, he determined he could use his polearm as well, though he might have to forgo a couple of reaching strikes he normally used.
On the wall besides the bed was a bulletin board, so he could use that as target practice for his throwing daggers. There were a couple of drawings and one or two kamera photos on it, but he left them up as it would force him to at least slightly aim.
Starting with his back to the door, he started attacking the air in front of him, throwing three cryo made daggers (and just as quickly letting the elemental energy dissipate before they went more than an arms length way), before using the initial momentum of the throw and did a complete turn, switching to have both hands on his polearm for a forward thrust. He spun back in the opposite direction, regrabbing the weapon in his right hand. His left hand reached under his sleeve and pulled out his serrated dagger, where he took two steps forward making three slashes.
At this point the wall was right in front of him, so Lohen used his back leg (currently his right leg) as his support while pushing off with his left, spinning into a wheel kick to attack the imaginary foe behind him. However, as he went to replant his foot, he placed it too close, causing a lag in his stance. He dragged his spear in an upwards slash, and went to step forward once again, only for his back foot to hit his planted foot, causing him to trip.
Lohen’s eyes widened for just a second, before he pressed his spear flat against his forearm, then pressed his arm as close to his body as possible, rolling slightly so his shoulder would make first contact with the floor. After those conscious movements, Lohen kind of got lost on what the rest of his body did, but it certainly did something as he ended up on his back, with only two daggers pressing uncomfortably into his skin.
Lohen laid there for a moment blinking once before scowling. He de-summond his polearm which he had actually landed on, the shaft part of course, then sat up, detangling his legs. He adjusted the dislodged daggers, ignoring the bruises where the pommel dug into his hip.
Standing up once again, Lohen walked back to the door, and repeated his previous movements, except he made sure to place his foot properly when turning to move back towards the door. His stance was still a little unbalanced still, but as Lohen stepped forward to perform a sweep with his polearm, he didn’t trip- so he at least fixed that. From there on, Lohen started working on practicing changing his momentum suddenly, from traveling one way before doing a 180 and moving the other way.
As the knight practiced, each time he switched his direction of travel, he adjusted his stance until the movement felt natural. Every so often Lohen would break the normal routine and throw his actual dagger at the board. When he did that, he would follow through with one or two more swipes before pausing to retrieve the knife. Overall, he practiced for around 30 minutes or more, until the light had completely vanished from the sky outside, and he was left moving in the darkness, with only some moonlight to light the room.
Finishing a foot sweep, he poised the dagger at the imaginary Rerir’s throat. The only noise left was his heavy breathing and his pounding heartbeat.
*Tic*
*Tic*
*Tic*
Glancing to his left Lohen once more noticed his pocket watch, innocently tracking time. He hopes he will be able to go on another mission for the Northern Intelligence Guild. He didn’t often get freedom to play a little roulette. Especially with someone so fun to freak out.
Lohen smiled as he twirled the knife once before sheathing it back under his sleeve. He de-summoned his polearm and walked to his original moping corner, and stooped down to grab the fancy clock.
Tracing a thumb along the intricate designs, he once more hoped to go on another mission soon. The more he went on, the more he would improve, and also gain the knights' trust back.
He returned the watch back into the hammerspace his vision provided and turned to lay down on the bed. He let himself fall face-first on the mattress and simply lay there for a couple minutes, letting his body fully relax.
He would have preferred to get a rag to wipe himself down, but beggars can’t be choosers, and he had certainly slept with being much dirtier… or bloodier technically.
Finally dragging himself fully on the bed he rolled onto his back, not even noticing the discomfort his armour brought; he had long gotten used to sleeping in it back in Nod Krai. Lohen glanced at the door on the other side of the room, briefly considering trapping it, before deciding not to bother. If he woke up before breakfast (which was the most likely option) he could debate then if he wanted to ambush whatever poor soul visited him.
He shifted slightly, pulling three daggers from under his arms before setting two under the pillow, and another in between the bed frame and the mattress. Now satisfied he wouldn’t stab himself, he lay on his side, watching moon light splay across the door. He finally let his eyes droop slightly.
If someone walked in while he was sleeping, it wasn’t his fault if he stabbed them. And he was certain he would stab them, just for fun.
With the thoughts of pain and watching others squirm, Lohen let his eyes fully close, with only the sound of his heart keeping him company.