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The first sign that something is profoundly wrong with Sergeant Barnes is that he has voluntarily come looking for Elias. The second sign is that he has not brought his carbine. The third, and by far the most alarming, is the expression on his face. Elias has seen Barnes angry before. Hell everyone has. Barnes angry is practically weather in the platoon: loud, inevitable, and usually followed by somebody getting their ass chewed. This is different.
Barnes stands in the entrance of the bunker with one hand braced against the wooden frame, the other pressed flat against his stomach, looking like he has personally declared war on the concept of human existence and is waiting for the universe to make the first move.
O’Neill is sitting on an ammunition crate nearby, cleaning his carbine, and looks up when Barnes enters. Elias looks up too. Neither man says anything at first.
Mostly because Barnes stares at them which makes Elias stare back confused and O'Neill being O'Neill glances between them.
Somewhere outside, Warren shouts about a missing canteen, a fucking bird chirps it's happy little song.
Barnes swallows hard, his jaw tightening as his face briefly goes pale.
"I need to tell you two something."
O’Neill stops cleaning his carbine while Elias lowers the map he’s been studying.
"What’s wrong?" Elias asks.
Barnes closes his eyes, "Don’t ask me that."
"You just said you needed to tell us something."
"I know what I said Elias."
"So what’s wrong Bob?"
Barnes opens his eyes and gives Elias a look so murderous that Elias actually has the good sense to stop talking, Barnes takes a breath through his nose, immediately regrets it, and turns his head sharply toward the doorway.
He stands perfectly still for several seconds, his knuckles go white against the wooden frame, O’Neill slowly puts his carbine down.
"Sergeant?"
"I’m fine."
"You don’t look fine."
"I said I’m fine."
Barnes swallows again, trying to get the bile from creeping up.
"Jesus Christ."
He rubs both hands over his face.
"I swear to God, if either of you makes this harder than it already is, I’m going to..."
He stops, his expression changes.
"Oh, fucking hell."
Barnes abruptly shoves past them, ducks outside, and disappears behind the bunker which makes Elias and O’Neill exchange a look. As the is a horrible, wet retching sound from outside, it makes O’Neill grimace and Elias wince.
"He’s been doing that all morning," O’Neill says quietly.
Elias frowns, "Doing what?"
"Throwing up."
"Barnes? Sick, now that's hilarious Red."
"I watched him do it."
Barnes returns approximately thirty seconds later looking like he has just survived a close range artillery strike, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, stands in the entrance, and glares at both men.
"Nobody says anything."
O’Neill raises both hands, "Wasn’t planning on it boss."
Elias looks genuinely concerned, "You should see Doc about that."
Barnes stares at him because thank you Captain Obvious.
"The Doc?"
"Yeah, that's what I said Bob."
"You think I haven’t thought of that?"
"Well..."
"Don’t finish that sentence."
Barnes points at him as he says which makes
Elias nod, he watches as Barnes takes another breath, slower this time.
"I’m pregnant."
Silence like absolute fucking silence, you can hear the crickets it's so damn quiet, it's absolute, magnificent silence.
Somewhere in the distance jungle, a machine gun rattles for three seconds before stopping, neither Elias nor O’Neill move, Barnes looks from one to the other making sure their brains don't explode.
"Did you hear me?"
O’Neill blinks, and so does Elias.
"You’re…" Elias begins.
Barnes’s eyes narrow waiting for him to finish that sentence.
"Go on, say it."
"You’re pregnant?" O’Neill finishes.
Barnes stares at him like he's an idiot.
"That is generally what the word means, yes."
O’Neill looks at Elias, well Elias looks at O’Neill, then both men look back at Barnes.
"How?" Elias asks.
Barnes’s mouth falls open, he actually looks offended on a spiritual level.
"How?"
"I mean..."
Elias stops himself pondering this for just a second.
"I mean, I know how, but…"
"Do you? Do you really know, because I'm beginning to think you don't." Barnes snaps,
"Actually I’m beginning to question whether either of you understand anything at all."
O’Neill raises a finger.
"Sergeant, with all due respect, that’s not exactly something you hear every day."
"No, O’Neill. It isn’t."
Barnes rubs his temples.
"That’s why I’m telling you both before somebody else finds out and turns this entire damn camp into a circus."
Elias looks increasingly confused.
"Why are you telling both of us?"
Barnes stares at him again like he's absolutely stupid.
"Because I don’t know which one of you is the father."
Another silence, O’Neill’s face goes blank trying to remember doing the sideways mambo with Barnes, while Elias’s jaw drops as it hits him like a freight train going ninety miles an hour, meanwhile Barnes waits for them to process.
"Well?" he demands, "Nobody’s going to say anything?"
O’Neill slowly points at himself, "Me?"
Barnes’s eyes close, "Yes, you John."
O’Neill looks at Elias, "Or him?"
Barnes’s eyes open, "Yes, or him."
Elias looks horrified either at the fact that Barnes is pregnant or the fact he fucked Red.
"You don’t know?"
"No, Elias. I don’t fucking know."
Barnes’s voice cracks with irritation.
"I know the timing. I know what happened. Okay I know exactly what happened. I know when it happened. I know there were two possibilities of when you morons could've put a baby in me. One of you is the father, and I know that unless somebody has developed the ability to conduct a paternity test with a fucking canteen cup, I’m going to have to wait till I squeeze it out just to spite you two son of bitches."
O’Neill slowly nods, "Right."
Barnes stares at him, "Right? That's all you got!?"
"I’m thinking Robert."
"Think faster."
Elias finally stands, "Barnes, are you sure?"
Barnes looks at him as if he has just asked whether the sun is real.
"I’m sure."
"But how do you know?"
"Because Doc confirmed it, that and I'm late, I'm never late to anything."
"Doc knows?"
"Wait Doc knows?"
Barnes points toward the entrance, "I'll tell you two exactly what I told him and that is if you tell anyone, I’ll personally make sure you spend the next six months digging latrines."
O’Neill looks thoughtful, "Does the Doc know about…"
He gestures vaguely between himself and Elias, Barnes’s expression darkens because he didn't even have to tell Doc, Doc fucking knew just like he knew about Bunny's ass rash and proceeded to announce it very loudly to everyone.
But thankfully he's pretty afraid of Barnes so he's not saying shit.
"Yes."
"Oh."
O’Neill nods again, "That’s awkward."
"Awkward?"
Barnes repeats, "You think this is awkward?"
He laughs once, humorlessly, "I’m pregnant in the middle of Vietnam, I don’t know which one of you is responsible, I’m throwing up every twenty minutes, I can’t stand the smell of coffee anymore, and somebody has the bright idea of frying onions this morning. My boots don’t fit right. My back hurts. I haven’t slept properly in three days. And I’m approximately five minutes away from murdering the next person who asks me whether I’m all right."
Elias’s expression softens, "You should’ve told us sooner."
Barnes looks at him, "I found out two days ago, I needed time to process or I would have shot you both in the face!"
"And you didn’t tell anyone?"
"I was hoping it wasn’t true."
That shuts them both up, Barnes looks down at his hands. For the first time since entering the bunker, the anger slips. Underneath it is something neither Elias nor O’Neill expects to see on Barnes’s face: fear. Not battlefield fear, not the cold calculation Barnes carries when bullets are coming.
This is quieter, he rubs his palm over his stomach, almost unconsciously.
"I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Doc wants me to abort," he admits.
"But I’ve spent my entire life knowing exactly what to do when things go bad, you take the position, you return fire, you keep moving no matter what, and you especially don’t panic."
He gives a small, bitter laugh, "Apparently none of that helps when you’re growing another human being."
Elias steps closer, "You don’t have to figure it out alone."
Barnes looks at him, while O’Neill nods.
"He’s right."
Barnes looks between them, "You two are aware one of you might be the father, aren’t you?"
"Yes," Elias says, "We’re very aware now."
"And neither of you is going to make this into some kind of competition? Because I will abort this thing growing inside me in heartbeat."
O’Neill looks offended at him doing that, Of course not."
Elias nods, "We’re not children."
Barnes stares at them, "Good."
A pause.
"Because if either of you starts fighting over who gets to be the father, I’ll shoot both of you and again terminate it."
O’Neill nods solemnly, "Understood."
Elias nods too, "Understood."
Barnes exhales, for half a second, things seem almost calm.
Then O’Neill asks, "Can we figure out when you conceived?"
Barnes’s eyes slowly close, "Elias, O’Neill, stop talking."
"I’m trying to help."
"You’re making it worse."
Barnes’s eyes open, as he ponders this situation for a hot second.
"You know what?" he says softly.
"I’m going outside."
"Why?" O’Neill asks.
Barnes looks at him, "Because if I stay in here, I’m going to kill you."
He takes one step, then abruptly stops, his face goes pale again. He covers his mouth.
"Oh, God."
Elias immediately moves toward him.
"Barnes?"
Barnes holds up one hand, "Don’t."
He breathes slowly through his nose, "Don’t fucking touch me."
O’Neill gets up, "Should I get Doc?0
"No."
"Water?"
"No."
"Food?"
"Absolutely not."
"What about..."
"O’Neill."
Barnes’s voice is dangerously calm, "If you say one more thing, I’m going to put your head through that wall."
O’Neill shuts his mouth, while Barnes stands there for another moment, fighting the nausea until it finally passes. Elias watches him carefully.
"You really are sick."
Barnes gives him a tired look, "Thank you, Doctor Elias, brilliant observation."
Elias ignores the sarcasm, "We need to make sure you’re eating."
"I am eating."
"You just said food makes you sick."
"That doesn’t mean I don’t eat."
"What can you keep down?"
Barnes hesitates, "Crackers."
O’Neill nods, "We can get crackers."
Barnes stares at him, "I don’t want crackers."
"You just said..."
"I know what I said Red."
Barnes rubs his forehead, "I want saltines."
O’Neill frowns, "Those are crackers Bob."
Barnes stares at him for several seconds like he's fucking dumbass which honestly he might be.
"I’m going to explain this once, and only one and then I’m going to assume you understand English, I want the little square ones, salted. Not those dry army biscuits, not hardtack, and no some field ration pretending to be food. Saltines."
O’Neill nods solemnly, "Saltines."
"Yes."
"I’ll get some from fucking somewhere."
He starts toward the door before Barnes calls after him.
"And O’Neill?"
"Yeah?"
"If you come back with peanut butter as well, I’m going to bury you alive somewhere where they'll never find your bones, we clear?"
"Understood."
Elias waits until O’Neill is gone before looking at Barnes.
"You’re scared."
Barnes’s expression hardens immediately, "Don’t tell me what I'm feeling."
"I’m not judging you."
"I know."
Barnes looks down, "That’s the problem."
Elias stays quiet which makes Barnes sighs.
"I don’t know if I can do this Gordin or if I want to do this."
Elias’s voice softens, "You can if you want."
"You don’t know that."
"No. I don’t."
Elias pauses, "But I know you."
Barnes looks at him, "Do you?"
"Enough."
Elias smiles faintly, "You’re stubborn, difficult, terrifying, you have the emotional subtlety of a brick."
Barnes gives him a flat look, "Careful with what you say."
"But you don’t abandon people, not when it matters."
Barnes looks away, "This is different."
"Yeah."
Elias glances at his stomach, "It is."
For a moment, Barnes says nothing.
Then, very quietly, he admits, "I don’t want the kid growing up knowing its mother's humanity died in a war nobody wanted."
Elias’s expression changes, "Barnes…"
"I’m serious."
Barnes swallows, "I don’t know what happens if I go back to the states, if I can even adjust back to civilian life."
Elias steps closer, "Then we adjust together, you, me, and Red, as one werid dysfunctional family they write sitcoms about."
Barnes almost smiles at that, "That’s not how war works."
"No."
Elias shakes his head, "But it’s what we can try to do."
O’Neill returns several minutes later carrying a box of saltines like he’s just secured a priceless military objective, he stops when he sees the two men standing together.
"Got ’em."
Barnes looks at the box, his stomach immediately turns covering his mouth.
"Get those away from me."
O’Neill freezes, "But you asked for them."
"I know."
"You want them."
"I know."
"Then why..."
Barnes lunges for the doorway, Elias grabs the box out of O’Neill’s hands.
"Go after him."
O’Neill stares, "Me?"
"Yes, you John."
"What do I do?"
Elias looks at him incredulously, "Make sure he doesn’t fall over or something."
O’Neill bolts outside, he finds Barnes sitting against the side of the bunker with his head tipped back, breathing through his mouth, O’Neill takes the opportunity to sit beside him without saying anything.
After a minute, Barnes opens one eye.
"Don't say anything."
"Figured that was my safest bet."
Barnes nods approvingly, "Good man."
Another minute passes, O’Neill holds out a saltine that he had in his helmet, Barnes stares at it suspiciously knowing he had it stored somewhere werid.
"Where’d you get that?"
"Box."
“You don't have the box?"
"No, that's cause I put one in my helmet in case you changed your mind."
Barnes narrows his eyes, really wishing he'd stopped storing things inside his helmet.
"Thanks? I think."
He takes the cracker, he stares at it for several seconds before taking a tiny bite, just as O'Neill pulls another one out from under his helmet.
"Don’t watch me eat."
"I’m not."
"You’re watching me."
"I’m looking in your direction."
Barnes sighs, "You’re both going to drive me insane before this war fully does."
O’Neill smiles faintly, "Probably."
Barnes looks at him, "You scared? About being a father I mean?"
O’Neill hesitates, "Yeah, but isn't everyone. I mean you're probably scared about being a mom, if you go through with this."
Barnes nods, because he does have a point on that one and so they sit there quietly.
While inside the bunker, Elias looks at the discarded map and rubs his face, he has no idea what the next few weeks are going to look like, nobody does.
But somehow, despite everything, the war, the uncertainty, the impossible question of who the father actually is, there is something strangely comforting about knowing that for once, Barnes isn’t trying to carry the entire burden alone.
Outside, O’Neill is patiently handing him saltines one at a time while Barnes complains that he should stop using his helmet as a storage unit.
It is ridiculous, terrifying but somehow, almost normal, andwhen Barnes eventually looks toward the jungle, one hand resting protectively over his stomach, Elias realizes that whatever happens next, things have changed.
The platoon has one more life to worry about now.
And knowing Barnes, he will probably threaten to kill everyone in the platoon personally before he’ll let anyone hurt it.