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“Ok so I’ll be deaf, Wade’s mute, and Matt's blind?” Matt looked at Peter, somehow expressing his eyeroll even through the mask. “Oh I’m blind, of course I am.” Peter sighed, “Ok you’ll be mute and Wade blind then.” Wade perked up and set up his cellphone. Peter grinned, it took three days for him and Wade to convince Matt to do this, the only reason he agreed is because Peter promised they wouldn’t post the video. After they covered Matt’s mouth with duct tape and blindfolded Wade, Peter put on noise cancelling headphones that blasted some Mr. Stark approved AC/DC then they started.
“Eggs! We need eggs!” Peter yelled loudly, oblivious to how loud he truly was talking. Matt was trying to find flour, because they were idiots and didn’t set out the ingredients before they started the challenge. He grabs the flour (somehow managing to find it), when all of a sudden Wade bumps into him causing him to spill it EVERYWHERE. “Someone should probably clean that!” He yelled from across the kitchen. Peter knocks the egg on the counter before putting it into the mixing bowl.
“WATCH OUT” Peter screamed, causing Matt to flinch, and drop the last remaining vanilla extract onto the floor. Right after Wade managed to slip onto a knife left out. As Peter mourned the vanilla extract, Wade brought out a tub of vanilla icing. “Use this instead, it’s vanilla!” Peter had no clue what the guy said, but he grabbed the container and opened it, only to find a hole in the icing. Wade snatched it, “Ignore that, not my proudest.” Peter looked up and saw Matt doing the sign of the cross. Peter shrugged and dumped half a pound of sugar into the bowl.
Peter picks up the flour off the floor and then dumps it right into the bowl. “ALL WE NEED IS OLIVE OIL!” Peter yells. Wade grabs a random glass bottle from the counter and then hands it to Peter. “This isn’t olive oil, this is baby oil.” Peter announces, after reading the bottle. “Same thing. Both got oil in the name.” Wade yells back. Peter, oblivious to what Wade said, pours it into the bowl anyway. Matt just stands there.. Horrified. “OH we need chocolate chips as well.” He calls out. Matt decides to go get the chocolate chips, hoping to maybe.. I don't know.. Salvage the cookies? “Oh by the way, who keeps sticking their finger up my ass?” Peter asks innocently.
Peter goes off camera and shakes out his leggings, causing a spoon to fall. “Huh, how did that get there…?” From across the kitchen there Matt had started mixing the cookies, until Wade bumped into him and nearly knocked the ‘dough’ out of Matt’s hand. Peter just nearly stopped Matt from shutting Wade into the fully pre-heated oven, and left a confused Wade hollering something towards the fridge. Peter then turned him around so Wade could continue his rant to Matt, who was rolling the cookies into balls and putting them on a baking sheet. For a blind guy, he sure was making the cookies better than the rest of them.
“I’LL HELP!!” Peter calls out rushing over. He trips over the spoon and crashes down into the floor. “Ow…..” He mutters slowly getting back up. By the time he finally got up Matt was already putting the cookies into the oven. “Aww.. I wanted to help..” He muttered. “Is this stupid challenge finally done?” Matt says. Peter slips off his headphones, “What did you say?” His voice finally went down to a normal volume. “Is the challenge done?” Matt repeats himself. “Yeah. We just need to wait for the cookies to be done now.” “If you can even call them cookies..” Matt mutters.
“God I can understand why you hate yourself DD. That sucked.” Matt growled a little and Wade giggled and skipped off to the couch, where he removed around three knives from different parts of his body. After around fifteen minutes, the oven went off and Peter took out the pan, then got scolded by Matt for not using oven mitts. Finally each team red member picked up a cookie, which alarmingly caused Peter’s spidey sense to tingle. “I think this cookie’s gonna kill me.” Matt agreed and Peter took a large bite. It tasted like a dead goat got speared with some vanilla/cockroach covered stick then got laid out with rotting meat. Peter spit it out, washing his mouth out with the dish soap, nothing else could be powerful enough to rid that flavor. He looked back and saw Matt smiling, he apparently had the sense to not eat the ‘cookies’. Wade was happily munching away, even going for another one. Two days later as he was swinging through the streets someone yelled something about cookies at him. Peter ended up checking his phone and saw that an account named “EveryHoleHasAGoal” had a past live stream of team red making cookies. Peter decided there and then that Wade would never be allowed to video the group ever again.
