Chapter Text
The Baudelaire orphans find a wavering light in their darkness: Julia.
ACT I: AN UNUSUAL ENCOUNTER
Synopsis
Julia is raised by wretched actor, Count Olaf. Most of her days are spent scamming people through cheap theatrical performances or hunting down near-by enemies. But now, a new vile opportunity arrives where Olaf plots a scheme to get the Baudelaire fortune, with the assistance of his daughter. Julia's only goal now is to capture the Baudelaires and bask happily in their fortune. However, will her resolve falter when meeting them?
PLAYLIST
forwards beckon rebound
Adrienne Lenker
❝villain and violent,
infant and innocent.
baby, both arms
cradle you now.❞
a burning hill
Mitski
❝i am the fire
and i am a forest
and i am a witness
watching it.❞
my rollercoaster
Kimya Dawson
❝it seems as if perhaps
i'd gone insane.
what is it about you
that has commandeered
my brain?❞
georgia
Phoebe Bridgers
❝with my back to
the shoreline,
i dreamt that he
drowned.❞
cherry wine
Hozier
❝her eyes and words are so
icy oh, but she burns.
like rum on a fire.❞
please be rude
Gigi Perez
❝and if i tell you
something rude.
then drain me out,
and please be rude.❞
die your daughter
Susannah Joffe
❝i will die
your daughter.
i will.❞
fight or flight
Conan Gray
❝well, fight or flight
i'd rather die
than have to cry
in front of you.❞
strangers
Ethel Cain
❝if i'm turning in your
stomach and i'm
making you feel sick.❞
free
Florence + The Machine
❝i'm always running
from something.
i push it back, but
it keeps on coming.❞
MAIN CAST
JULIA OLAF
Isabella Merced
"Why should the world revolve around the Baudelaires?"
"Well, I never really knew my parents. I guess the reminder just lingered in the back of my mind."
"If you ask me, Glasses is just a burden."
KLAUS BAUDELAIRE
Louis Hynes
"I wish our parents' money could be used now instead of when you come of age."
"You weren't being modest. You were LYING!"
"I just—never met anyone like Julia."
VIOLET BAUDELAIRE
Malina Weissman
"We wouldn't go to the end of the driveway with you, much less international waters."
"I don't care if we're impolite to such a disgusting person as yourself."
"Oh the ribbon? It just helps me think."
SUNNY BAUDELAIRE
Presley Smith
"You're a disgrace to your profession."
(baby talk)
"Bite the head off that elf-biter!"
(baby talk)
"Nice costume, ugly."
(baby talk)
COUNT OLAF
Neil Patrick Harris
"You're not looking in the right place."
"There are plenty of things that rhyme with Count Olaf...rice pilaf!"
"I don't think a boy your age ought to be using the word 'titular'."
OTHER CHARACTERS
K. Todd Freeman as Arthur Poe
Usman Ally as Hook-handed man
John DeSantis as The Bald Man
Matty Cardarople as Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender
Jacqueline Robbins as White-Faced Woman#1
Joyce Robbins as White-Faced Woman #2
Aasif Mandvi as Dr. Montgomery
Montgomery
Alfre Woodard as Josephine Anwhistle
Sara Canning as Jacquelyn Scitza
Patrick Breen as Larry Your-Waiter
Luke Camilleri as Gustav Sebald
Don Johnson as Sir
Rhys Darby as Charles
Chris Gauthier as Phil
Catherine O'Hara as Dr. Georgina Orwell
Morena Baccarin as Beatrice Baudelaire
Matthew Dowden as Bertrand Baudelaire
Sepideh Moafi as Cecelia Crowe
i strongly urge you to look away now,
before it's too late.