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When Lloyd Ernest Johnson died, there was no real question where he would go; the fact that he thought otherwise did not matter at all.
Lloyd Johnson was a sinner and sinners went to Hell. How pointless would it be, if the system were to only work when people acknowledged their sins?
Almost no one would go to Hell in that case, because acknowledgment usually meant that there was some sort of remorse involved; those who showed honest remorse at the time of their death — not later, as there was no way not to regret things in Hell — went to Purgatory.
Not that Purgatory as a giant forest full of monsters — and the Leviathans, they deserve a special class all on their own — was all that much better, but it was a step upwards — both literally and figuratively — from eternal torture in Hell.
But Lloyd wasn't remorseful at all. He had raped several people — men and women, as well as one that was neither — but in his twisted mind, they were the ones to blame. The girls had worn revealing clothes and were drunk, so they were asking for it. The men should have enjoyed it because men can't get raped, after all. Llyod did not acknowledge the fact that there are people neither male nor female, so he didn't even have an excuse for this person prepared. Only the most twisted of minds would think like that.
Those were the kind of delusions he hid behind and the consequence of his delusions was that he was one of the more stubborn ones. Most people acknowledged their faults within a couple of days — Hell time, of course. A couple of seconds Earth time meant the same number of decades down below and patience was not something commonly found in Hell.
Lloyd had been here for a couple of weeks now and somehow he was still in denial. He was yelling, screaming, and raving whenever he could — which admittedly was not much given the fact that he was a little bit busy, you know, being tortured.
But he managed to complain enough that Azazel requested the Big Boss come over to deal with the human himself. It just wasn’t as much fun when they weren’t acknowledging their faults and begging for forgiveness, honestly.
“I don't belong here! It's not my fault!” Lloyd yelled in protest yet again. “The Devil made me do it!” His shift in rhetoric was noticeable to everyone but Lloyd himself.
“I didn't do anything of that sort, my dear.” A voice suddenly appeared behind him. “Why do you foolish humans always think that this is the case? I have better things to do with my time! It’s bad enough that I am supposed to work towards the Apocalypse as well. Have you ever tried to bring order in when there are multiple million demons involved? It's not easy, let me tell you. How much time does everyone think I have?”
Lloyd turned around, but what he saw made him wish he hadn't. The... being who had spoken looked like it had been burned alive several times over, with the notable exception of the large white wings spread behind him. The eyes were burning red with the fire of Hell — of course, Hell wasn't hot everywhere. Some parts had literally frozen over.
“You- you're Lucifer,” Lloyd stuttered in realization. “T-the Devil.”
The figure grinned, angling its — his? — head ever so slightly. “Exactly. So I should know that I had nothing to do with your actions. In fact, you weren't even tempted by any demon — with one exception of being tempted to litter. Other than that, though, it's all on you.”
Lucifer snapped his fingers and the human was free from his bonds.
“T-t-that is not what th-the Bible says,” Lloyd argued. His voice was shaking horribly, despite his best efforts otherwise.
“What, you think that you know the truth better than me?” Lucifer snorted, as he grabbed Lloyd and pulled him away from Azazel’s torture room. The human was replaced by another one — a murderer, in this case, which Azazel was always delighted by — instantly.
“Preposterous. Completely and absolutely ridiculous, that is. I'll have you know that the scribes my dear Father picked out were drunk and high. Both. At the same time. Every single one of them.” The King of Hell laughed dryly. “The original version already got a lot of things wrong from my brother's words — for example, Gabriel was referring to the good kind of stoned when he talked about divorce. I know my brother well enough for that.”
Lloyd didn’t really know what to do with this information. He had never been particularly religious — unless it suited him, of course. He was still a businessman, behind it all. Which was actually another reason why he was here. He had exploited many people by choice, which wasn't exactly something one should do when attempting to get to heaven. Lloyd had been informed of that at some point, but now the memory was brought back to the surface.
“I am afraid that I will have to end our lovely chat here. Well, not really. You're not exactly a good conversation partner. But don't worry, I will leave you in capable hands!”
The two of them had reached another torture chamber. A dark-skinned woman was waiting for Lloyd there. She looked well trained, curvy, and was similar to more than one of Lloyd’s victims.
“Mazikeen!” Lucifer greeted her. “I brought you a present.” He shoved the human in Mazikeen’s direction. “That is Lloyd. I believe I told you about him?”
The demon scanned the quivering human as she casually sharpened her knife. “The rapist who enjoys playing the Blame Game?”
“Exactly! Lloyd, may I introduce Mazikeen, my most trusted torturer and the most loyal demon you can find. Only Alistair has a chance to compete in the former category and she is unparalleled in the latter. Have fun!”
“Oh, don’t worry, Lucifer,” Mazikeen said as she leaned towards Lloyd with a grin on her face. “We will. We definitely will.”
Lucifer turned around and moved towards the next damned soul that required his personal attention. There was a never-ending stream of them, after all. The difference in time was literally the only reason why he got anything done at all.
“One of those days, I'm going to need a vacation,” he absently muttered to himself. And the more he thought about it, the better that idea sounded.